TODAY’S

Youth CultureFacts:

• 66% of students live

with both parents

• 30% of teens report

having a lot of argu-

ments with parents

• 65% of teens value

their parents opinion

of them

• 75% of teens say

home is a happy place

The New “At-Risk” ChildIf material things really make us happy, this generation of youngpeople should be the most elated group on planet earth.

Published byYouth Unlimited/TorontoYFC50 Gervais Drive, Suite 302Toronto,ON M3C 1Z3

Fall 2008

YOUTH

UnderstandingUnderstandingUnderstanding

Inside this Issue:The New “At-Risk” Child 1

Never Too Young to Target 2

Text and ChatAcronyms 2–3

Family Then and Now:One Girl’s Story 3

Understanding Today’sYouth Seminars 4

Toronto YFC

If material things really make us happy, thisgeneration of young people should be the mostelated group on planet earth. They are pam-pered by pop culture but live with the paradoxof privilege: they have so much but feel soempty. In The Price of Privilege: How ParentalPressure and Material Advantage Are Creating aGeneration of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids,Madeline Levine begins withthe damage that ever-inter-fering and over-giving par-ents can do to the identityformation of their ownchildren.Most parents pay little

mind to the relationship be-tween providing too muchand the creation of a sense ofself in their kids. Levine sys-tematically lays the ground-work for the impact ofaffluence on the mentalhealth of young people:“America’s (and Canada’s)newly identified at-risk groupis preteens and teens from af-fluent, well-educated families.In spite of their economic and social advantages,they experience among the highest rates of de-pression, substance abuse, anxiety disorders, so-matic complaints and unhappiness of any groupof children in this country.”She then examines the role of materialism,

parental pressure to perform and the emptinessof retail therapy in the creation of a generation

of kids who lack purpose and direction beyondtheir immediate personal needs. Most of thebook focuses on the ways affluent parents (orany parents) can raise healthy kids. Levine fo-cuses on age and development stages, as wellas the parenting strategies to guide their kidsto maturity.Levine offers this helpful advice for parents on

the issue of discipline andcontrol. First, be clear aboutyour authority. Firm, lovingparental control produceskids who can take care ofthemselves and increasestheir chances for academicsuccess. Second, you needto know where your kids areand who they are spendingtime with. Don’t assume any-thing. Monitoringmeans pro-tecting. Third, let your kidsknow youmean business anddon’t back off when thingsget rough. Draw the line andenforce your rules. Fourth,flexibility means knowingwhich hills you want to fight

on. Sometimes bending the rules will paygreater dividends than an all-out war. Finally,we need to begin early to enforce balanced dis-cipline but remember it is never too late to setboundaries.We were created to live best withincertain parameters. It is a parent’s job to helptheir children realize it.

Raising great kids can be challenging but never impossible. It requires a largeinvestment from busy parents.The dividends will be paid back in the years ahead

as we watch them blossom into healthy adulthood.

Never Too Young to Target

A growing number of kids are en-gaging in the dangerous habit of typingmessages to each other while behindthe wheel of a car. They instant mes-sage while sitting at the computer, andsometimes text message through the

night when they should be sleeping! It’sa new kind of communication that’s gota rapidly developing language all itsown.This new texting language utilizes a

growing dictionary of acronyms and

abbreviations largely unknown to par-ents and other adults. In an effort tohelp you stay in touch with the kids youknow and love, here’s a short list ofsome of the most common textacronyms you should be aware of.

Text and Chat Acronymsfrom The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (www.cpyu.org)

They’re doing it everywhere.They text message each other while in school.You see them locked onto their phone screens as they leave school at the endof the day.

Over the past 20 years we have seennotable changes in the physical devel-opment of our children, especiallyyoung girls. Researchers cannot fullyexplain the early body developmentotherwise known as precocious pu-berty. Some suggest it may be the ad-ditives in diets and others say it mightbe related to environmental issues. Re-gardless of the explanation, is there re-ally any logical reason why NorthAmerican society sexualizes them atearlier and earlier ages?The American Psychological Associ-

ation recently released a report on thesexualization of little girls. They showthat the powerful influence of media, tel-evision, music videos, music lyrics,movies,magazines, sportsmedia, videogames, Internet, and advertising all playpotent roles in shaping the image ourculture now expects of these little ones.A look at only advertising reveals the fol-lowing trends. First, there is some em-pirical evidence that children and girlsespecially, are sometimes depicted assexual objects or as counterparts toadult versions. Second, advertising im-agery presents the public with both a“trickle up” and a “trickle down” frame-work on girls and women; thus, the dis-

tinction between women andgirls has become blurred. Third,individual ads have employedyouthful or “barely legal”celebrity adolescents in highlysexual ways.

Four new products have recentlymade their way to themarketplace to re-mind us that the trend is far from over.Tiny stilettos (high heels) for babies

up to 6 months called Heelarious arenow available. Created byAmerican in-ventors Britta Bacon and Haydon Porter,the heels “are only for show andwill col-lapse when any pressure is put onthem.” Bacon said she came upwith theidea while walking to her 4-year-olddaughter’s birthday party. She said: “Itwould have been hilarious if I couldhave brought Kayla to a party in highheels when she was a baby.” This is yetanother example of the growing trendof inappropriate clothing being mar-keted at the youngest of all.Maclean’s magazine (Oct. 6, 2008)

featured an article on the growing trendtoward toddler bras and sexy lingerietargeting 6-12 year olds. M. GigiDurham, author of The Lolita Effect: TheMedia Sexualization of Young Girls andWhat We Can Do About It writes, “Thebras are padded and in push-up vari-eties, and there are matching thongpanties too.These come in preschoolers’size. I’ve been told moms go wild forthem.” All of these products are de-

signed to hyper sexualize the youngestof our kids and are just the first step increating “cradle-to-grave” consumersfor these product lines.

Vivid Imagina-tions (GreatBritain) hascome up withthe iTeddy. It is across between ateddy bear and avideo iPod. Thehigh-tech bear

plays multimedia files. The plushbeige bear sports a bright orangeshirt that lifts up to expose a colourLCD screen, speakers and a fewwhite buttons. It can display videoclips,music, children’s stories, pho-tos, and some simple puzzlegames. What better way to hookthe next generation of kids?The Pujiang True Lover Cos-

metic Company in China is pro-ducing a line of real cosmetics forbabies. It includes lipstick, lip balm,finger nail polish, eye shadow, andlotions.New parents need to be aware

that competition for the hearts andminds of their children now beginsthe day they are born.

Family Then and Now: One Girl’s StoryIn the early 1990s, one Canadian youth re-

searcher posed a question asking teenagerscompleting a survey to check off which statementbest described his or her current family situation.When he began to list all the possible options (Ilive with mom and dad, I live with mom only, I livewith dad only, I live with my mom and step-dad,etc.) he came up with 18 alternatives. That fact inand of itself tells us plenty about the family issuesand struggles kids faced then and now.

For most people reading this article, your fam-ily tree might very well look like this (Fig. A). It isthe one anyone over 45 might remember well.

For those over 50, it might be hard to recall anyclassmates growing up in broken homes. Lifeseemed so simple back then.

For many teenagers today, their family treemight look like this (Fig. B). If a picture is worth athousand words, then this diagram is a full-lengthmovie with subplots and a cast of every-changingcharacters. Every line has a story and it is com-plicated. Some lines have tears. Some lines havefears.

Enter 19-year-old Evelyn. After seeing this di-agram in a seminar, she shared howmuch her liferesembles the family puzzle.

“My family's kind of complicated. My parentsare divorced... they divorced when I was 8. To-gether they had 4 kids and I am the secondyoungest. They both remarried, but my mom'shusband had 3 kids from his previous marriage,all older than us. The kids' ages range between30 and 14. I have two full sisters, one full brother,two step brothers and one stepsister. My step-brothers and sister have all moved out, and myoldest brother lives with my dad. My older sistermainly lives on her own but alternates betweenmy mom and my dad. Right after the divorce Ilived with my dad inToronto for 3 years wheremyolder sister and I were raised by nannies.We had16 nannies in total. At this time I had very limitedcontact with my mother. At age 11, I moved inwith another family. It was sort of like a foster sit-uation, but it wasn't legally that... and plus theywere my teachers from school.While living withthem I alternated weekends with my mom anddad. My youngest sister grew up at my mom'sbut has now left for boarding school and will nowalternate between my dad and my mom's. My

mom and stepdad live together in a home whereI now live. My dad works in Toronto where hiswife lives, but owns a cattle ranch up nearCollingwood where all the kids come on week-ends. He also has another ranch in Saskatchewan.I have really only ever seen my stepmother atChristmas time and Mother's Day. She alsospends time at her other home in NewYork City.”

Research shows that kids growing up in thiskind of family scenario often have long-term be-havioural, relational, and psychological prob-lems. They can bemore prone to promiscuity anddrug and substance abuse. They are also morevulnerable to peer pressure and 3 in 5 felt re-jected by one of both parents. They estimate 40%have no specific goals as they entered earlyadulthood.

The most amazing part is Evelyn isn’t bitter orangry about it. She sometimes wonders howthings might have turned out if her mom and dadstayed together but you can’t change the past.The thing that changed everything for Evelynwas when she committed her life to Christ fiveyears ago. From that point on, she has come toterms with her journey. It hasn’t been without itschallenges and hurts. There have been plenty.

However, as one girl growing up in a “now”family, Evelyn has decided that this will not deterher from some day having a family and a solidmarriage. Her biblical worldview has made allthe difference. It has replaced hate with hope andloneliness with love. She knows where she’s beenbut more importantly she knowswhere she wantsto go.

143 I love you182 I hate you2nite Tonight459 I love you420 MarijuanaAEAP As early as possibleAFC Away from computerALAP As late as possibleASL Age/sex/locationBBIAF Be back in a fewBBL Be back laterBFN Bye for nowBRB Be right backBRT Be right there

CD9 Code 9, parentsare around

C-P SleepyCUL8R See you laterDUSL Do you scream loud?FOL Fond of leatherG2G Got to goGNOC Get naked on

(Web)camGYPO Get your pants offHAK Hugs and kissesIF/IB In front or in back?IIT Is it tight?IWSN I want sex now

KOTL Kiss on the lipsKPC Keeping parents

cluelessLMIRL Let’s meet in real lifeLMK Let me knowMOS Mom over shoulderNAZ Name/address/zipNIFOC Nude in front of

computerOMG Oh my GodP911 Parent alertPAL Parents are listeningPAW Parents are watchingPIR Parent in room

POS Parent over shoulderPRON PornRU/18 Are you over 18?RUH Are you horny?S2R Send to receive

(pictures)SMEM Send me an e-mailSorG Straight or gay?TDTM Talk dirty to meTTFN Ta Ta for nowWUF Where are you from?WYCM Will you call me?WYRN What’s your real

name?

Fig.A

Fig. B

NEW for Fall 2008. UTY seminars are designed to help adults have better relationships with youngpeople through a deeper understanding of youth culture. Booking Paul to speak is a great way to sup-port both parents and youth workers. Equip an adult do a better job and you help all the kids in theirsphere of influence. Don’t delay – contact Paul today.

Understanding Today’s Youth Seminarsby Paul Robertson, Youth Culture Specialist

Paul Robertsonis the YouthCulture Specialistand Director ofChurch and FamilyResources forYouth Unlimited.

More culture info:www.paulrobertson.ca

UnderstandingTechnology – Pro-tectingYour Kids

No one could have ever imaginedhowmuch time our kids would spendwith the new technologies availableto them. This alternative universe is aplace to find new friends, join a socialnetwork, chat in private rooms, gethelp with homework, discover othercultures, and sometimes fall into trou-ble and danger quite by accident.Parents and youth workers should

be concerned about the amount of “screen time” kids havethese days.They expend endless hours watching video clipson the Internet, viewing TV programs on video iPods, andsending thousands of text messages every week. Theirworld is but a click away from both good and bad. Adultsneed to understand this new technology in order to ade-quately protect the kids they love.This seminar looks at a variety of new technologies,

parental concerns and privacy issues, and practical ways tomonitor screen time while still raising healthy young people.

Understanding andTalk-ing CultureWith Kids

All articles are written by Paul Robertson

Music, peer pressure,Internet, drugs, sex, tel-evision, disordered eat-ing, video games,media. The list of youthcultural issues that chal-lenge us as adultsseems endless. Wewant to talk to our kidsbut where do we

begin? It all seems so overwhelming and alltoo different from the world we grew up in.This seminar is designed to help any adult

working with kids to become more “youthculture literate.” It will look at the tenmost sur-prising things parents and youthworkers needto know about the culture. Focus will also begiven to the skills needed to engage youngpeople inmeaningful conversations about theirworld and how we can help guide themthrough an ever-changing culture.

Booking a Seminar forYour Group“Understanding Today’sYouth” seminars have been given to a variety of groups—social workers, professionals, service clubs, civic leaders,public elementary schoolparents/teachers, youth workers and pastors, Christian school parents/ teachers,and student leaders.Each seminar is a dynamic,multi-media presentation designed to create better re-lationshipswith young people through a deeper understanding of their very uniqueand fast-changing culture. Seminars include handouts, reference material, andbooks for sale.Seminars can be adapted to fit a variety of time frames - from one hour workshopsto six hour, all day presentations. Content and issues of seminars can also be ad-justed to address the pertinent issues for any particular group.Most presentationsare two hours long with a break in the middle. Promotional PDF posters are alsoavailable free of charge.For more details including the other nine Understanding Today’s Youth seminars,please go towww.paulrobertson.ca.You can also call Paul directly at 905-453-7991.