Ulysses Club Waikato Branch

MAY 2013 Newsletter

Ulysses Club Waikato Branch Meets at the Waikato Commerce Club, 197 Collingwood Street, Hamilton,

on the First Monday at 7.30pm of each Month except January. Visitors Welcome

Evening Meals are available from 6.30pm WAIKATO ULYSSES WEBSITE www.ulyssesclubwaikato.wordpress.com

This Bulletin plus other information is available on this website

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Sharon Voschezang Gretchen MacDonald

Owner / Photographer Graphic Designer www.hazelwoodcopy.co.nz www.griffonsonsnapsphotography.co.nz

http://www.facebook.com/HazelwoodDesignandCopyCentre One stop shop for all your PRINTING solutions 423 Grey Street, Hamilton East P: 07 856 9082 | F: 07 856 9081

Lou’s Last Liturgy

This is my last newsletter article as your Co-ordinator. Thank you to Rowena, Rosemary, Roger, Graham, Topher, Mark, Phil and John for all their help and input during the past year. I wish the new Executive all the best in their new endeavours.

The Toy Run was a great success with $9,500.00 donated to the Waikato Child Cancer Foundation. Graham Smith and Lawrence Gosnell also helped with providing rides to Waikato Child Cancer children during the Easter weekend, thanks guys. The certificates presented by the Waikato Child Cancer Foundation will be displayed at the Commerce Club.

The St John’s Ambulance Poker Run was really well supported with over $1,100.00 donated to the Blair Spalding Trust. A few St. John’s Ambulance badges remain unsold and are available to purchase from Rowena and Rosemary at $10.00 each.

Andrew Templeton and our Ulysses branch mentors held a one-day training session on Saturday 14th April which was well attended and created a lot of positive interest in our Club.

I would like to thank all our members for your support and assistance during my term as your elected branch Co-ordinator. I am sure that our Waikato branch will continue to grow and strengthen.

Cheers, Lou

A Triumph Rider

A Triumph bike rider walked into a chemist shop in Hamilton, and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The middle aged woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and that as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there. She then asked if she could help him. The biker said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism. The biker then agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a ......permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems, and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it." The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length, and the absolute best we can do is: 1/3 ownership in the shop .... A company car... Five home cooked dinners a week ..... And $ 3,000 a month in living expenses."

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We have heard our past Co-ordinator Lou Brown say.

“Over the years I’ve got to know a number of our Police Force Members.”

Yes some people have their way of getting to

be known

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For Sale Alpinstars-Jacket and Pants

Jacket size XL

Pants size XXL

This set of riding gear has had very little

use.

Complete with detachable inner liners.

$500 or will listen to offers.

Contact;- Mick Aldred

Phone;-07 843 2675

Mobile;- 027 268 4588

Ride to the Far North Written by Grant Erskine. (Honda Hamilton.)

Once upon a time there were 7 dwarfs; Dopey, Happy, Grumpy, Bashful, Sneezy, Sleepy and Grant Bennett. And they headed off on a three day motorcycle ride to the Far north

of New Zealand…. Now this trip was no fairytale. The weather forecast earlier in the week was horrendous, with big lows and lots of rain heading our way from the west island. Happy and the boys were a bit nervous. 1300km in three days is no mean feat, but throw in some rotten weather and we could all end up Grumpy. Our route would take them from Honda Hamilton up the back roads of SH22 to Pukekohe, onto the Northern then Western Motorways out through Helensville and on up highway 16 to Wellsford. Highway 16 is a great road, and certainly more interesting than SH1. We got to Wellsford just as it started to spit with rain, so we made a quick stop and put on Alpinestars rain suits, then carried on up to Kaiwaka, and turned left at Brynderwyn onto SH12 through Ruawai and on to Dargaville. Highway 12 from Ruawai to Dargaville is straight and boring, and with rumours of an evil cop in the area, we kept the speeds down. By the time we cruised into Dargaville everyone was in need of a break so we headed out Baylys Road to Baylys Beach, and visited the Funky Fish Café, as recommended to us by our good friend Thys from Darbi Accessories. We weren’t disappointed; the funky fish was friendly and fun, and served great coffee. Thanks Thys. Our overnight stop for the first night was still far to the North in Rawene, at the far end of the Hokianga harbour, but first we had the pleasure of SH12 up through the Kauri forests of Waipoua, stopping at the giant Kauri tree, Tane Mahua. And what an impressive tree he is, over 2000 years old and with a trunk 5m in diameter, and standing 47m tall. The dwarfs were impressed.

Need spare parts see Grant. Honda Hamilton.

NO,NO. Parts for your Bike

Those sharp eyed readers may have noticed there are now 9 bikes in our party, since we met with some friends at Helensville who joined us for the rest of the trip on their Honda VFR1200’s. What a great bike to go touring on, and Baldys

silver one sounded awesome with its Two Brothers exhaust system. When you finally emerge from the Kauri Forest, having survived SH12’s tortuous twists and changeable surfaces you are rewarded with a breath taking view from the top of the hill above Omapere, looking over the Hokianga harbour and the impressive

sand dunes on the other side. Dropping down off the hill it’s nice to follow the waters edge along the harbour through Opononi, then turning left and do the last few km’s to Rawene. It’s 6pm when we arrive in Rawaene after a fantastic days riding, and everyone is looking forward to a hot shower then some dinner and a few beers. We are

made very welcome by Grant the owner of the historic Masonic Hotel, and we are soon bonding with the local characters Chrissy, Harri, Moana and Co over a few games of pool. For a small place Rawene is more colourful than you might think. And there

were certainly some colourful stories being told…. Did you know Pink Floyd once played in Rawene? March 1998 apparently. The year before Led Zepplin came! The away team teach the locals a few things about shooting Pool, and inevitably there are soon some discussions over the rules of the game…. Turns out Pink Floyd are to blame for New Zealand not having rules for Pool that make any sense. Bloody Rockstars. Anyway, it’s bed time…. Early start tomorrow… We’ve a ferry to catch. Saturday morning dawns clear and crisp as the gang rolls out of bed around 7am. A little mist hangs over the harbour but it soon clears as the sun rises a little and builds some warmth in the air. Some of our crew go for a quick stroll round Rawene, as Grant and the kitchen staff at the Masonic Hotel cook us up a huge breakfast of homemade bread, hash browns, bacon and eggs. All fuelled up on coffee and fried food we roll down the hill to catch the 8;30am ferry

across to Kohukohu. It’s a brief ferry ride of about 15 mins and costs us each a very reasonable $5. On the other side we are met by damp greasy roads as we cautiously make our way through the hills and the Herekino forest to Ahipara. These are great roads that keep you on your toes, you have to keep your wits about you riding out in the sticks. We were disappointed to find the pub at Herekino appears to have shut down, so the planned photo opportunity was off the cards. We push on and pop out the forest at Ahipara where the sun is out and its getting warm fast. 90 Mile Beach looks splendid, and there are people out fishing, and walking dogs as we roll down onto the sand on our bikes. One or two brave souls with the right equipment head of up the beach for a bit of fun. From here we all head into Kaitaia to fuel the bikes and grab a coffee at the Ancient Kauri Kingdom visitor centre before setting out for the cape. At the Kauri Kingdom visitor centre there is a spiral staircase carved out of a single piece of Kauri trunk. Very impressive! Well worth a look, and great coffee too. Chris on the BMW GS heads back out onto 90 mile to make the trip North on the sand, while the rest of us tarseal dwellers stick to the main road. And what a main road it is, flowing and smooth with lots of twists and turns, getting better and better the closer we get to Cape Rienga. The final stretch along the ridge up to the cape is stunning. You must come and ride this road. The weather gods have smiled on our little trip today and when we arrive at the end of New Zealand it’s hot and sunny. We walk down to the lighthouse and AA sign to enjoy the spectacular views and get the obligatory photos. Most of the discussion on the walk down is of how we could have ridden the bikes down to get some really cool and unique souvenir photo’s… We didn’t of course, but we wished we had. Especially when it came to walking back up in our leathers carrying helmets etc etc! Truth is no-one can be bothered to trudge back up the hill to fetch a bike, and there are a few too many other people sharing the path who might not have the same passion for bikes that we do. For the only occasion on this trip we use the same piece of road for the second time, heading south back to Kaitaia. No one is complaining though, it’s a great piece of road. The Fireblade rules supreme, leading the pack and arriving first back at Kaitaia. Who says you can’t go touring on a sports bike. Fuel up again in Kaitaia and head South through the twists and turns of the Mangamuka’s and on down to our overnight stop for the night, the Ohaeawai Hotel, just Southwest of Kerikeri. Once again we are made very welcome in one of these great historic Kiwi hotels. The owner and his caretaker have cooked us up a huge dinner of Oxtail stew with roast vegetables, mashed potato, kumara and green beans. Just what you need after a big day in the saddle. That and a few handles of Tui! Dinner is followed by an equally huge, or maybe even bigger,

dessert of Trifle, plus Ice cream and Christmas style sweet mince pies. These boys could feed the NZ army if they ever pass through. We all have two helpings of trifle and it barely dents the contents of the giant bowl. Another pool contest tonight – playing it properly, English pub rules, and the two Grant’s show the older boys how it’s done And all too soon it’s bed time again. We’ve another ferry to catch in the morning… Sunday morning dawns dry but overcast. Not great, but not bad. So far on this trip the weather forecast has been all wrong, and that’s a good thing. The expected rain has only reared it’s ugly head once, and even then for less than an hour from Wellsford to near Dargaville. I can live with that. So after another big breakfast, although a bit healthier than yesterday’s offering; with fruit, cereal, yoghurt, toast with jam, and coffee on the menu, we head East away from Ohaeawai to Paihia. This is a short run of only 20 mins, and when we hit the coast at Piahia we decide to make an impromptu cultural stop to check out the Treaty House at Waitangi, which is only 2 mins up the road to the left. We spend a little time wandering around the Waitangi grounds, Governers house and the Treaty House itself, and stop to admire the craftsmanship in the two enormous 70+ seater Waka that sit proudly facing the Bay of Islands. With enough culture for the day we head into Piahia town, fuel up the bikes then roll down to the marina and aboard the ferry to Russell. This is a really short ferry trip, and we’ve barely got our helmets and gloves off when it’s time to put them back on and head up the ramp onto dry land again. I didn’t even have enough time to take a photo. From Russell we follow some awesome coast roads then cut inland through some farm country before ending up at Whangarei. Some lunch is the order of the day at Whangarei, and we pop into the i-site visitor centre and café on the south side of town, enjoying a nice lunch in the sun on the edge of the park. Bodies and bikes all fuelled up and it’s time to hit the coast road again, heading out through Waipu to Mangawhai Heads, before turning back inland and eventually joining up with SH1 just North of Wellsford. From Wellsford we head South on SH1 to Warkworth then on to Orewa, where the bathroom is calling for most of us, and McDonalds comes to the rescue…. Well, McDonalds has to be good for something. You sure don’t go there for the food. Our stop in Orewa gives us the chance to prepare for the slog down the motorway through Auckland to our next planned stop at the BP on the Southern Motorway. With the weather forecast not looking good for Auckland and beyond, and tales of thunderstorms in Hamilton coming in on the text machines it’s decided to don the waterproofs again now, rather than try to find shelter on the road, or get stuck in the rain unable to stop on the motorway. Rain suits on,

dark visors swapped for clear, and off we go. Only 5 mins away from McDonalds and the rain comes, heavily. Good call on the rain gear guys. We pass snow planet, and cross the harbour bridge, enjoying the views of the city, the skytower and the harbour as we near Auckland. The traffic is heavy but we make light work of it on the bikes, changing lanes and making the most of the bikes ability to manouvere quickly and accelerate into gaps in the traffic. The rain persists but no-one seems worried as all our gear is working fine keeping us dry as we clear Auckland, pass Papakura and Drury and arrive into the BP services at the Bombay Hills. Quick fuel up and re-check the weather. Modern phones are brilliant aren’t they – up to date weather at the touch of a button. It’s still raining heavy in the Waikato, so the word is spread, “keep those Drystar suits on boys”. Heading down SH1 in heavy rain past Mercer, Meremere, Hampton Downs, and Rangiriri is never going to be an exciting trip but the rain focuses the mind and you have to be on your game to maintain good speed in the spray of the trucks and the cars who don’t look in their mirrors before changing lanes. I personally run with high beam lights on. Be seen, be safe.

We take a left turn at Ohinewai, just to break up the last of the journey and squeeze in a few more corners before this trip is over. Head east toward Tahuna then turn right at the gravel pit onto Rutherford Road, then right onto Orini road and into Taupiri. We are heading to our final destination which is the Smith and McKenzie steakhouse and bar behind the Chartwell shopping centre. So just outside Taupiri we hang a right and get onto Dawson Road which leads to Lake Road and one of my favourite stretches of Waikato tarseal, around Lake D and through Horsham Downs into Rototuna. The rain hasn’t let up but this last part of the trip from Ohinewai to Rototuna is great fun and everyone arrives at the pub with big smiles on their faces. We made it. 1300km in three days, up the west and down the east. A well-deserved beer and time to exchange some final tales from the road… Everyone is enthusiastic, everyone has had a good time. Can you have 7 dwarfs all called Happy? Thanks to those who came along on this Honda Hamilton/Hamilton Ulysses road ride and made the trip a success. A special mention for Chris “Topher” for doing most of the route planning and booking the two overnight accomodations. Thanks Chris. Good times. Can’t wait for the next off-season road trip. It won’t be far away… Routes are being discussed already. East Cape perhaps, or Napier and the Gentle Annie to Taihape, or Stratford and the Forgotten Highway…. There are lots of options. Winter this year needn’t be a chore, it can be as fun as you want it to be. You just need good gear, good mates, and a map…

2013 Hawkes Bay Ulysses Rally (1st one they’ve had since 2009) Turk and I left before lunch on Friday from Hamilton and rode to Taupo for petrol and a pie. The road was wet in places but the sky was dry.

Chris and Henry K left earlier from Te Awamutu and got absolutely soaked. They stopped at Tarawera Café on the Napier Taupo Road to drip dry off.

We arrived at Bayview about 2pm and registered for the rally which was at the Bayview Hotel and camping ground right behind the pub with a gate through to the pub (how convenient)

Chris had booked us a tourist cabin so all warm and toasty.

Caught up with various Ulybods who had gotten there earlier from Wellington, Taupo, Tokoroa, Rotorua and us from Waikato.

Friday arvo drinks rolled into the evening, Chris and myself got thrown out of the bar because we had bought in our off licence purchases to drink, oops ran back to the cabin and put it in the fridge then returned to the bar. Bar Manager Bill was very diplomatic about the whole thing.

Hawkes Bay took us on a tiki tour round the coastal side of Te Mata Peak and then up to the top of it. They closed the road (blocked it off with bikes) so we could ride up there without cars coming down. Awesome views! Then onto a chocolate factory for lunch and then a sheepskin factory but by then we were over it and rode off to meet up with a cousin for coffee.

Saturday night was a pig on the spit at the pub which was fantastic and very tasty, we had the function room to ourselves and a band (local Ulybod on guitar and singing) Weather was great all weekend and so was the company.

Everyone went home on Sunday morning after a big breakfast fry up.

Five bikes rode back to Hamilton on the back road from Taupo, we’d picked up Jim Galt by then, he had a tent at the rally!

Well done Hawkes Bay, hope you do it again next year…special thanks to Cliff, Beryl and Polly and crew for their beaut effort Annie #4954

“A Must Read for all Ulyssians”

Available from Waikato Branch

Quartermaster, Anthony

Mol-Krijnan, at monthly meetings or

call Anthony on 07-560-1888 or 021-

120-5798 or penant68@gmail.com

$35.00 (inc postage, if you can’t

collect at meeting).

Margin on the book goes to branch

social fund.

A guy falls to sleep while sunbathing and now needs medical attention for second degree burns. His skin has started to blister and the doctor sees he is in pain so the Doctor goes ahead and prescribes continuous feeding of saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra every four hours. The Doctors inquisitive Nurse asks the Doctor, “What good will Viagra do him Doctor?” The Doctor reply’s, It’ll help keep the sheet off his body and legs!”