txk loop -april/may
DESCRIPTION
Parenting and kid magazine for the Texarkana areaTRANSCRIPT
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CONTENTS
06 All too Real - Lindsey Sims-AHS Student
08 Revisiting Roles - Dani Willett
10 short story - Haylee Wren Age 8
11 Balancing Acts - Lisa Portfield
14 Entrepreour Moms - Dani Willett
16 The Dreamer - Jacorien Walker Age 13
19 Birthday Party Ideas
22 Recipes - Cupcakes For Every Meal
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Publisher
TXK Loop Corp.
Editor
Angela Evans
Graphic Designer
Alicia Baird
Web and Layout Designers
Angela Evans
Katie Alkire
Copy Editor
Dani Willett
Ashlee Spearman
Photographer
Strictly Elegant
The Distant Image
Account Executive
Ashley Parker
Cover Model
Alexandrea Evans– Age 2
430-200-3911
www.txkloop.com
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All Too Real
Late night drive, heading home,
accidently running a little behind curfew. But none of that matters..
He's beside you and your mind tells you.. "Nothing will take him away from you.."
A smile ascends your cheeks as he brushes your hair behind your ear and whispers sweetly,
"I love you." You're mouth it opens to responded but everything unfolds..
--- You sit in silence, watch the scene unfold as the slow motion effects starts.
Everything seems surreal.. My breath is a distant memory, eyes soaked with sorrow.
Can You find the hope? The one light to touch and make it all reverse?
Or is that illumination just the headlights of the eighteen wheeler. ---
Hospital bed.. Awake with a stir of sound and motion.
Loved ones surround you, Tears have stained their faces.
One looks to you with a half hearted smile. Your first thought, 'Where is he?'
You plead in your head that he is alright. Your father, he takes your hand and fights his words.
They come out slowly, gradually he tries to lessen the pain. "He's in a better place now.."
Your eyes the fall, your heart.. it dies. ---
Black dress, cloudy sky, eyes have lost their sheen. You watch as the coffin is lowered.
The dirt is shoveled on top. The preacher speaks his words but it is all dead silence
as you wonder off in theory. As it comes to an end the family and friends they leave
to their cars, hesitant to speak or make a sound. But you stay behind.
Standing by the mound of dirt before you. The heart can't bare it.
This new, ever lasting sorrow. "I love you too.."
These are your last words to him, before his resting place. As you depart the Cemetery you think to yourself silently..
'It all just.. seems too real...'
by Lindsey Sims
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t was a typical weekday afternoon. Drew was bustling around the house, getting
laundry together and toys picked up with a toddler underfoot. The grocery shopping had been done earlier, the beds made, and the house dusted and vacuumed. Dinner needed to be on the table in an hour. For most stay-at-home moms, this probably sounds like a pretty normal day, but Drew is not a stay-at-home mom, Drew is actually not any kind of mom. Drew is a dad. Meet the new face of family dynamics sweeping across our country. Let‟s not call it “Mr. Mom” and let‟s not call it babysitting, let‟s call it what it is – parenting. Whether done out of necessity or planned by the couple, gender roles are being tossed aside while many strive for what is being called “equal parenting,” where both the wife and the husband play equal roles in doing household work and caring for children. In some families, both spouses work reduced schedules or from home and split the tasks evenly, while in others the woman is going off to work while the man stays home, something we have seen in the reverse for years and never thought twice about. “Children bond the closest with the people that fulfill their needs, it’s a learning and bonding experience that everyone should experience.” A freelance graphic designer and father, 32-year-old Beau Shoulders‟ work-from-home job allows him to be the primary caretaker of not-quite-2-year-old daughter Harper for about three days a week. His wife, who works for a non-profit that also allows some work to be done from home, is on hand the rest of the week and special circumstances arise, like a meeting for Beau. “We didn‟t want the baby to have to go to daycare, especially at a young age,” Shoulders said. “The idea of our daughter spending the most important stages of her developmental process with strangers, and without quality one-on-one interaction, just sounds terrible to me.” For some families it‟s not just the idea of daycare, but the cost. Data from the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA) states that the average spent on daycare for babies and toddlers in the United States is $8,500 per year. You factor in more than one child, and the annual national average exceeds the median monthly cost of rent in our country; in other words – you could pay more for someone to watch your kids during the day than you pay for the place you bring them home to for baths and bedtime.
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With our current economic woes, these costs are hitting the family pocketbook even harder. When one spouse gets laid off, or one makes significantly more money than the other, sometimes the best thing is for that person to take over the childcare duties to save the family money. And sometimes, it‟s the husband. According to the Sphere Trending report "Women in 2010: The New Mom," men lost 82 percent of the 8 million jobs swallowed by the recession. This is exactly the situation that Brad and Lisa Thompson found themselves in when Brad, a fire-fighter, was laid off from his second job shortly after their son Porter was born. The couple decided that Brad could forgo a second job and spend that time raising their child, and they haven‟t looked back. “The first week of staying home with Porter I thought, „I don't know what these moms are complaining about with raising kids and keeping a home.‟ But, about a month later I found out that it gets harder...much harder,” said Brad. “I have a new-found respect for all mothers that stay home and raise their kids full time, do chores and all the
other things that keep a home running.” Brad works a regular fireman schedule, 24-hours on and 48-hours off, spending his 48s with Porter, who goes to an in-home care provider the other two days a week when both parents are at work. While it is a challenge, Lisa and Brad strive to keep household tasks like cooking, cleaning and laundry on an even keel that still allows them to spend time as a family when they are home together. Historically, the standard for men has been set pretty low. A man need just take his child to the grocery store and strangers will comment on how sweet the situation is or what a good dad he must be, while a woman running errands with children in tow is considered the norm; she may even get dirty looks if the children are cranky and crying while a dad in the same situation gets sympathy. In larger cities, there are support groups, breakfast meet-ups and play date clubs for this new batch of dads, who are just as likely to be seen pushing a stroller as they are a lawn mower. While the trend is too new to have any scientific data on the effects that dual parenting is having on children, more parental involvement has been linked to better behavior and performance in school.
So the next time you see a father grocery shopping with his child riding along, don‟t see him as someone who has babysitting duty while the wife must be sick or busy; just see him as a parent.
By: Dani Willett
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How The Sheep Got Its Wool One cold winter day the farmer named Allan was worrying. He was afraid that all his farm animals might get a cold and be cold that night, mostly the sheep. It was supposed to be ten degrees this very night. It was evening when Allan had an idea! He would buy coats, jackets and hay, maybe even some heaters for the barn. He told his wife Amy to put these items on her shopping list as she headed out the door. When she came back, Allan and his wife put the jackets and coats on every animal. They put hay and heaters in every barn, but they did not get any for Katie the sheep. They did not have any money left and it was 7 at night. The other horrible thing was that the sheep didn’t have any fur! All the farmer could think of was that they should glue cotton all over the sheep’s skin. So they did that as fast as they could. They did it! All the animals stayed warm, especially the sheep with the cotton. Since that sheep had wool, all the rest of the farmers put wool on their sheep because they thought it was a good idea. And that’s also when they started making sweaters!
By: Haylee Wren
Age: 8
Balancing Act:
From pottytraining to paperwork By Lisa Porterfield. Columnist Living the tight rope in a loosy- goosy world
Balance. I crave it. I strive for it. I need it and I love it. It’s what I go to bed thinking about. It’s what I wake up thinking about. It’s the reason I feel guilty for leaving my phone on when I crawl between the sheets. It’s the reason I feel accomplished when I make dinner for my family on a weeknight, even if it is only spaghetti. Balancing my family life with my career is one of the utmost priorities at this particular stage in my life, second only to the Almighty. Each day I struggle with thoughts of remorse and self-admonition when I have to stay a little late at work, or when I’m running late because we’ve had an early morning toddler tantrum. As much as I tussle with thoughts of “Am I good enough?”, “Can I get it all done?” or “Am I doing the right thing?”, I always come to the same conclusion. At the end of the day, when I finally collapse into our worn out, oversized recliner, and baby is in his crib making soft baby snores, I decide that the most important factors in my life are the happiness of my husband, myself and my little boy. Everything else can wait I am convinced that I’m not alone when it comes to this craving for balance in work-life related issues. It seems to me that the entire population of working Moms has had similar thoughts at least once or twice in their kid-rearing days. That’s why I’ve decided you might need some reinforcement, or an encouraging uplifting word that will help you calm the churning in your toddler-like snack filled tummy (yes, I, too, am guilty of eating more goldfish than I give my
• It is okay if the dishes don’t get washed directly after supper. Take some time, kiss on your babies, rub your hubby’s back or take a bath. The dishes, I assure you, will not run off in the meantime. • Enlist some help. I’m fortunate enough to have the world’s greatest husband. No, seri-ously. But I realize that not everyone has this luxury. If possible, let yourself ask for help, from your family, from a friend or even from a stranger. It honestly does not make a difference who transfers the laundry, picks up the prescriptions or pays the water bill. • On the same note, let it go, woman! Most of us who are career-oriented and family-driven have a small tendency to enjoy being in control. I’ve had to let myself learn that it’s okay to let go of the power and let others have some say in the small stuff. If my husband wants to buy red potatoes for dinner instead of brown, even though the red potatoes are a “wax potato” and do NOT go with our entrée, I’ve learned to be okay with it. Life. Will. Go. On. • You are not a bad mommy. Let me repeat, you are not a bad mommy. At least three times a week, I find myself spanking my son within 15 minutes of walking in the door after a nine hour day at work. It crushes me. Yes, he may have intentionally eaten dog food, drug all of my Corningware out of the cabinet and tried to bite me, but it does not lessen the sting of having to spank him before I even get to sit down for a moment; it makes me feel so terrible. All I can think about is how much he hates me. He never spends time with me, and the time we do have together is spent with me screaming “NO!” at him. Granted, I have tried to ease up on the screaming, but when I stop to think about it, when our little boy grows up to be a well-mannered, well-adjusted and well-behaved gentleman, I will not feel guilty for spanking his little hand for repeated of-fenses. Perspective, ladies. You are not a bad mommy.
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Stop by the shop of mother-daughter
duo Joan Potts and Robin Keahey on
any given day, and you’re sure to find
something you need (or want!). Open
since September 2010, La Bella’s Rare
and Beautiful Treasures is located at 2729 New Boston Road, in the
Oaklawn Shopping Center.
Joan found her inspiration for the
business as a vendor at Canton, sell-ing Christian and encouraging gifts.
A people person who enjoys talking
and sharing ideas, she wanted to
bring something with a similar feel to
the Texarkana area. “There is a lot of
talent in Texarkana,” Potts said. “I wanted to provide a way to showcase
people’s arts and abilities. Sort of a
marketplace under one roof.”
When Joan told her daughter of the idea and asked for help, Robin did not
hesitate. Now, truly a family busi-
ness, the two rotate days manning the
shop, which Robin juggles around
working at her other job, as a nurse
for Texas High, and being a mother to four sons. Both mother and daughter
credit the help of their husbands in
getting the shop in the shape it’s in
today.
Walk into La Bella and you will see a
wide open space dotted with booths
where vendors display their wares.
But this is no flea market, with tables
and boxes to dig through; each area
has its respective items set up in an aesthetically pleasing display – like
mini boutiques you walk around and
browse through.
The mini shops within the shop
feature arts & crafts, jewelry,
antiques, furniture, clothing, home
items, photography and more - and
you can even get a coffee in the
back!
Opening a business in our current
economic climate can be scary, not
to mention that some mother-
daughter relationships would not translate so well into the work
world, but these two have nothing
but good things to say about one
another.
“Robin is the brains of this opera-
tion,” said Joan. “She handles all the computer stuff, Facebook, all
the technical aspects of the busi-
ness.”
If Robin is the brains, she says that her mother Joan is the heart. “My
mom has a vision for this to be a
place where people in this area can
come to shop and have a good ex-
perience,” said Robin. “She’s my
best friend.”
Whether you’re looking for some-
thing in particular or don’t particu-
larly know what you’re looking for,
stop in to browse, and don’t forget
to say hi to Joan and Robin. “Visiting with people and building
relationships,” Joan said, “that’s
what it’s all about.”
Dani Willett
La Bella has space available for booth
rental and also offers consignment. For
more information, call 903-255-0603. 15
2300 Stateline Ave
(inside Mary Beth’s Boutique)
Tues-Fri 10-6 Saturday 10-3
(903 )334-8007
Ringtoss Face Painting Lucky Ducky
Pin Nose on Clown Bubble Station
Look for more details and idea s at txkloop.com 19
What is CASA and Why Should You Be Involved?
CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocates. Our CASA for Children Program
serves 12 counties in Texas and Arkansas through our advocate program, Child Advocacy
Center and Family Matters.
ur Child Advocacy Center is a kid-friendly safe place for children to tell their
story to an investigator and receive therapy for their trauma. It minimizes the
stressful process of having to tell their story over and over to several different
professionals. It provides them an opportunity to give their report once and then begin the
healing process. Last year, our investigator saw over 500 children. For every report that is
made, it is estimated that there are 10 more children suffering
from abuse that is never reported.
Our Family Matters facility allows for supervised visitation sessions and an opportunity
for parents or caretakers to exchange children for visits in a safe non-threatening location.
Those services listed above, however, don’t even begin to scratch the surface of what we
actually provide for each child we serve. We offer hope, healing and justice in a way that
helps them thrive and become whole individuals once again.
Our CASA’s have no more than 2-3 cases from beginning to end. In a system where
judges have 100’s of cases and CPS and DHS workers are overwhelmed with their case
loads, our volunteers commit their time to their child until a safe solution is provided. We
do our best to assure the safety and services needed for that child. Volunteers stay with
each case until it is closed and the child is placed in a safe, permanent home. For many
abused children, their CASA volunteer will be the one constant adult presence in their
lives. For the majority of them, they give an average of 12 hours a month to CASA.
“Most of the time, when people learn about what we do, they tell me that they just could-
n’t do it. They feel that it would be too heartbreaking for them to see what these children
are experiencing and having to overcome. But I believe if most of the community knew
exactly what these children were living through, they would have to say, How can I not
reach out and help in some way? Our CASA’s feel the same way. Their response is, How
can I not fulfill my obligation to this child?.”
The statistics of what happens to children who do not get the help and services they need
skyrocket. Everything from juvenile delinquency, homelessness, suicide and even being
victimized again are considerations that affect these kids.
1.Children with a CASA volunteer are substantially less likely to spend time in long-
term foster care, defined as more than 3 years in care: 13.3% for CASA cases versus
27.0% of all children in foster care.
2.When a CASA volunteer was involved, both children and their parents were or-
dered by the courts to receive more services. The audit concluded that this was an
indication that “CASA is effective in identifying the needs of children and parents.”
3.Cases involving a CASA volunteer are more likely to be permanently closed than
cases where a CASA volunteer is not involved. The statistics vary from only 1.4% of
children with a CASA volunteer reentering the CWS (CASA Data Request) to 9% of
CASA children reentering the CWS (Youngclarke Review). This is in contrast to
16% for children not served by a volunteer.
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April is Child Abuse Awareness Month and there are so many ways that people can
help. New stuffed animals and blankets can always be donated. We have yearly events
that the community can attend to help us raised the needed funds to continue our
programs. We are always in need of those special people that can advocate for the best
interest of a child. With so many options, there has to be a way for everyone to choose
what works best for them and their schedule.
On April 14 in historic downtown Texarkana at the Bi-State Justice Building, CASA
for Children will host the travelling Children’s Memorial. The press conference will
begin at 3pm and the public is invited to attend, as well as, bring a child’s item to
contribute to the memorial.
Songwriters on the Edge of Texas Concert and Golf Tournament is one of our annual
events that will be held at Northridge Country Club this year. Our featured entertainer
is Darryl Worley with Blacktop Gypsy and local favorite, Buster Ellisor.
For anyone that would like more information on our organization or any of our events,
please see our website at www.casatexarkana.org or call our office at 870-775-1252.
We can always find a way for you to help. The most important thing is providing a
safe place for our kids.
We are a 501(c)(3) and donations are tax deductible and may be sent to PO BOX
1546, Texarkana, USA 75504.
Michelle Miller
Development and Outreach Coordinator
CASA of NE TX
PO BOX 1546
Texarkana, TX 75504
Office: (870) 775-1252
Fax: (870) 775-1255
Cell: (903) 701-2641
FOR MORE INFO: www.casatexarkana.org
Our offices are located at:
422 Hickory
Texarkana, AR 71854
CASA of Northeast Texas, Inc. will provide services to abused children as appointed
by presiding judges and through the Children's Advocacy Center. Our primary pur-
pose is to minimize the fear, disruption, and trauma in the child's life, and help them to
find a permanent home. Our program and its volunteers serve abused children in the
following AR and TX counties: Hempstead, Howard, Lafayette, Little River, Miller,
Nevada, Pike, Sevier, Bowie, Camp, Cass and Morris. Please call for more informa-
tion about volunteering. You can make a difference. 21
CUPCAKES
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for every meal
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Photography