two steps forward by sharon garlough brown - excerpt

8202019 Two Steps Forward By Sharon Garlough Brown - EXCERPT

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulltwo-steps-forward-by-sharon-garlough-brown-excerpt 134

A S T O R Y O F

P E R S E V E R I N G I N H O P E

Sharon Garlough Brown A U T H O R O F Sensible Shoes

Two StepsForward





Two Steps

Forward A S TORY OF

PERSEVERING IN HOPE

Sharon Garlough Brown

Copyrighted Material wwwivpresscompermissions



InerVarsiy Press

PO Box 983089983092983088983088 Downers Grove IL 983094983088983093983089983093-983089983092983090983094 ivpresscom

emailivpresscom

copy983090983088983089983093 by Sharon Garlough Brown

All righs reserved No par o his book may be reproduced in any orm wihou writen permission fom

InerVarsiy Press

InerVarsiy Pressreg is he book-publishing division o InerVarsiy Chrisian FellowshipUSAreg a movemen o

sudens and aculy acive on campus a hundreds o universiies colleges and schools o nursing in he Unied Saes

o America and a member movemen o he Inernaional Fellowship o Evangelical Sudens For inormaion abou

local and regional aciviies visi inervarsiyorg

Quoaions fom 983090 Kings Jonah and Psalm 983092983088 983092983094983089-983093 are fom he New Inernaional Version Luke 983089983095983096-983095983097 and

John 983089983097-983089983092 are fom Te Message all oher Scripure quoaions are fom he New Revised Sandard Version o he

Bible copyrigh 983089983097983096983097 by he Division o Chrisian Educaion o he Naional Council o he Churches o Chris in he

USA Used by permission All righs reserved

Tis is a work o ficion People places evens and siuaions are eiher he produc o he auhorrsquos imaginaion or are

used ficiiously Any resemblance o evens locales or acual persons living or dead is enirely coincidenal

Cover design Cindy Kiple

Inerior design Beh McGill Images luggage copy monicellloiSockphoo

our girls copy annie-claudeiSockphoo

ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983092983091983089983096-983091 (prin)

ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983097983096983095983089-983096 (digial)

Prined in he Unied Saes o America

As a member o he Green Press Iniiaive InerVarsiy Press is commited o proecinghe environmen and o he responsible use o naural resources o learn more visi

greenpressiniiaiveorg

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

A caalog record or his book is available fom he Library o Congress

P 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093 983089983092 983089983091 983089983090 983089983089 983089983088 983097 983096 983095 983094 983093 983092 983091 983090 983089

Y 983091983092 983091983091 983091983090 983091983089 983091983088 983090983097 983090983096 983090983095 983090983094 983090983093 983090983092 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093




Contents Prologue 1048633

Part One

Keeping Wach 983089983089

Part Two

Waiing in he Dark 9830891048624983093

Part Three In a Place Like Tis 9830899830961048633

Part Four

Love Descends 983090983093983093

Acknowledgmens 98309110486241048631

Companion Guide or Prayer and Conversaion 983091983089983089




Part One

Keeping Watch

I wai or he L983151983154983140 my soul wais

and in his word I hope

my soul wais or he Lord

more han hose who wach or he morning


P983155983137983148983149 983089983091983088983093-983094




one

Meg Meg Crane cluched he collar o her urquoise cardigan her knuckles

cold beneah her chin Ever since akeoff he well-dressed gray-haired woman beside her in sea 10486251048626-B had been casing appraising glances inMegrsquos direcion Was she breaching some sor o airplane eiqueteransmiting neon messages o firs-ime-flyer anxiey Maybe he woman was examining he scarle ellale bloches ha were no doubcreeping up her neck I only she had worn a urleneck Or a scar Hershoulder-lengh ash blonde curls provided a meager veil

Te woman exraced a plum-colored Coach bag rom beneah hesea in ron o her ldquoI swear hey keep suffing more rows ino heseplanesrdquo she said ldquoFlying isnrsquo much un anymore is irdquo

Meg cleared her hroa ldquoIrsquos my firs flighrdquoldquoReally Well good or yourdquoMeg supposed she deserved o be paronized Tere probably werenrsquo

many ory-six-year-old women who had never been on an airplane beore

ldquoWhere are you headedrdquo he woman askedldquoLondonrdquoldquoNo kidding Irsquom going o London oo Overnigh fligh onighrdquo

Meg nodded Te woman pulled her iinerary rom her purse ldquoFligh104863210486271048629 a sevenrdquo

ldquoYesrdquo Meg had sudied her icke so requenly shersquod memorized ildquoHow abou ha Small worldrdquo She apped a hear-shaped pendan

dangling rom a gold chain around her neck ldquoIrsquom aking a bi o myhusbandrsquos ashes o scater in Wesminser Abbeyrdquo

She carried her husband around wih her in a necklace Meg hadnever heard o such a hing Was she allowed o scater ashes like haSurely here were rules agains ha werenrsquo here




1048625 983092 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

Te woman leaned oward her in he sor o confidenial way normallyreserved or riends ldquoBeore my husband died he made a bucke lis991252no o all he hings he waned o do beore he kicked he bucke bu oall he places he waned o be aken afer he kicked i So ever since hedied Irsquove been raveling all over he world and sprinkling him here andhere Te aj Majal he Grand Canyon Paris991252righ off he op o heEiffel ower My daugher hinks Irsquom erribly morbid bu I old her lsquoNoMorbid would mean shuting mysel up alone a he house and cryingover old phoos ino a gin and onic Ta would be morbid And I reuseo be morbidrsquo So his monh irsquos London and nex spring irsquos he Bolivianrainores And hen nex summer Irsquoll be heading o Machu Picchu ohike he Inca rail My husband always hoped wersquod make ha rip o-geher bu he cancer go him firs So Irsquoll sprinkle a bi o him here onop o he mounain righ in he middle o he ancien ruinsrdquo

Meg replied wih a coureous smile and ldquohmmmrdquo beore casing anenvying glance a he soliary and silen passengers across he aisle heir

books esablishing a definiive Do No Disurb zone her books uckedin her carry-on bag now sowed securely in an overhead bin Jus as she

was abou o reach or he in-fligh magazine he fligh atendan arriveda heir row wih he beverage car ldquoSomehing o drink or yourdquo Shehanded each o hem a miniaure bag o prezels

ldquoGinger ale pleaserdquo said Meg Maybe ha would help setle hersomach

ldquoIrsquoll ake a Bloody Maryrdquo Te woman opened her walle hen pivoedagain oward Meg ldquoDo you live in Kingsburyrdquo

Meg noddedldquoYou look really amiliar Irsquove been siting here rying o figure i ou

Have we me beorerdquoldquoI donrsquo hink sordquo She definiely would have remembered someone

his gregarious

ldquoDo you happen o go o Kingsbury school board meeingsrdquoldquoNordquoldquoHow abou he gym on Peersborough RoadrdquoldquoNordquo




Par One Keeping Wach 10486251048629

ldquoIrsquos going o drive me crazy unil I figure i ourdquoldquoHow abou Kingsbury Communiy Churchrdquo I was he only place

Meg could hink o offer as a possibiliyldquoDefiniely nordquo Te woman squined hard ldquoAr museum symphony

gardening clubrdquoldquoAraid nordquoShe snapped her fingers ldquoGo irdquoMeg iled her head

ldquoYou look like someone my husband worked wih years ago Beverlysomehing Beverly Beverly Beverly Beverly Reese Yoursquore no re-laed o a Beverly Reese are yourdquo

ldquoNo sorry Doesnrsquo ring a bellrdquoTe woman pated her cheeks and neck wih her lef hand while

holding her drink in her righ ldquoI suddenly remembered because she hadreally air skin like you and used o ge he same kind o hives whenevershe go nervous Have you ried acupuncurerdquo

ldquoUhhh nordquo How long was he fligh o New YorkldquoI hink she did acupuncure And yoga Jus a houghrdquo She pressed

he buton o recline her sea a ew inches ldquoSo wha akes you o LondonrdquoMeg eased open her bag o prezels careul no o spill hem on he

ray able ldquoMy daugherrsquos sudying here or her junior year Shersquos anEnglish lieraure majorrdquo

ldquoAhh Wha a wonderul opporuniy or herrdquo

ldquoYesrdquoldquoAnd how long will you be sayingrdquoHonesly o all he people o end up siting nex o ldquoA couple o

weeks Trough ChrismasrdquoldquoChrismas is lovely here Are you saying righ in LondonrdquoldquoNo ar rom he collegerdquoldquoHow nice or yourdquo

Yes i was going o be wonderul She had been dreaming abou heir visi or weeks now She had planned o dream abou i during he flighShe chewed slowly on a prezel

Wihou aking a breah her seamae launched ino deailed and col-




1048625983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

orul narraives abou her own amily her name was Jean her daugher was an unmarried acress currenly sarring in an off-Broadway pro-ducion her husband had died o pancreaic cancer her son was goinghrough a messy divorce ldquoI always knew i wouldnrsquo lasrdquo she said ldquoAleas hey didnrsquo have kids She was a nighmare An absolue nighmareIrsquom glad he finally woke up and said lsquoEnough No morersquordquo

Evenually eiher because o he effecs o alcohol or a loss o ineresin one-sided conversaion Jean drifed off o sleep Careul no o bumpher Meg shifed posiion in her sea and slipped off her shoes

Her sensible shoes Wha a journey shersquod aken since Sepember when she firs me

Hannah Mara and Charissa a he New Hope Rerea Cener Tey hadhappened o si ogeher a a back corner able near an exi door andMeg had used he excuse o her high heels o avoid walking he prayerlabyrinh ldquoIrsquom araid I didnrsquo wear very sensible shoesrdquo Meg old hem

ldquoGuess I wasnrsquo aking lsquosacred journeyrsquo lierally huhrdquo

ldquoI like irdquo Mara had exclaimed ldquoSacred journeys need sensible shoes Wha shall we call ourselves Te Sensible Shoes Clubrdquo

Over he pas hree monhs hey had learned o ravel deeper inoGodrsquos hear someimes wih relucan and sumbling seps Meg hadgrown o love and appreciae each o hem Mara a fify-year-old wiemoher o hree sons and soon-o-be grandmoher Charissa a marriedand newly pregnan graduae suden Hannah a pasor on a nine-

monh sabbaical rom minisry in Chicago All o hem had come o he airpor o pray or Meg and offer heir

encouragemen She was graeul So graeul or companions on hespiriual journey

ldquoIrsquos gonna be an awully long monh beore we can all be ogeheragainrdquo Mara had said while hey drank coffee in he Kingsbury Airporerminal ldquoI donrsquo wan o all off he rack you know I jus hope I re-

member some o he suff I learned during he rerea Me and my meno-pause brain Remind me okayrdquo

ldquoMe oordquo said Charissa ldquoI wroe down a whole lis o spiriual disci-plines ha I waned o keep pracicing all kinds o hings ha could help





me grow in he righ direcion and be less sel-cenered Bu I always geeven more obsessed abou school his ime o year wih final papers andprojecs and everyhing Laely I havenrsquo been doing much o anyhingrom ha lis My rule o lie righ now is jus lsquoSurviversquordquo

ldquoSo sar smallerrdquo Hannah suggesed ldquoMaybe choose one hing ha will help you say conneced wih God in he mids o he sress andhen here may be oher pracices you can gradually weave inrdquo

ldquoI jus wish here were a quick fixrdquo Charissa said ldquoIrsquos he wholeleting-go-o-conrol hing I donrsquo know i Irsquoll ever ge here Maybe Irsquollalways be a conrol reakrdquo

ldquoA leas you see i righrdquo Mara said ldquoTarsquos progress Even i i eelsslow Guess I have o keep remembering ha irsquos okay i irsquos wo sepsorward one sep back rsquoCourse someimes i eels like a ew baby sepsorward hen a ew big seps back And I sill ge dizzy rom walkinrsquoaround and around in circles same old baggage again and againrdquo

Meg had recorded some o heir prayer requess in her noebook or

Charissa o find ways o love and serve ohers well even in he mids oher busyness or Mara o know Godrsquos peace and o persevere in aih

while batling chronic rusraion and disappoinmen wih her husbandand heir wo eenage sons or Hannah as she coninued o setle inohe rhyhm o res and a new relaionship

ldquoHow abou you Megrdquo Mara asked ldquoHow else can we pray or yourdquoldquoI hink lsquohopersquo is my word righ nowrdquo Meg replied ldquoEspecially wih all

he hopes I have or his rip or my ime wih Becca We li an Advencandle in worship yeserday991252he hope candle991252and my pasor alkedabou how rue Chrisian hope isnrsquo abou wishing or hings how herersquosa big difference beween hoping or somehing specific o happen versusrusing God o be aihul no mater wha happensrdquo She had writendown some sermon quoes in her noebook so ha she would rememberOur hope isnrsquo uncerain Chrisian hope doesnrsquo flucuae according o cir-

cumsances rue hope is abou having confidence ha Godrsquos good and loving purposes in Chris can never be hwared no mater how i appears

ldquoIrsquoll pray or you every day girlriendrdquo Mara had saidMeg knew she mean i




10486251048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

She roaed her ee in several slow circles hen pressed he butonon her armres o recline Her seamae was snoring sofly mouh drapedopen Meg sared a he pendan around her neck She had been quicko judge he widow or carrying her husbandrsquos ashes in a locke or-geting ha she also carried par o her husband wih her She had ucked

Jimrsquos las card ino her carry-on bag he card hersquod given her on he dayhey saw heir baby on he ulrasound He had writen abou his love orMeg his love or heir unborn child his eagerness o be a dad his cer-ainy ha Meg would be a wonderul moher Bu weeks laer on adismal gray November afernoon Megrsquos world imploded when Jimrsquos carslid off an icy highway and slammed ino a ree He died a S LukersquosHospial beore she could ge here o say good-bye On Chrismas Eve

wih anguished sobs Meg reurned o S Lukersquos and delivered heir babya beauiul girl who had her moherrsquos large doe eyes jus as her aherhad hoped And now ha baby girl was urning weny-one and she andMeg would celebrae ogeher in England

So much o celebrae so much o shareOu o necessiy Meg had menally and emoionally locked Jim

away afer he died Unable o ace he prospec o raising Becca aloneshe lef he beloved home she had shared wih Jim and reurned o herchildhood house where ears were no oleraed Her moher widowed

when Meg was our years old had no paience or weakness or sel-piyand offered an ulimaum i Meg was going o live under her roo she

would need o pull hersel ogeher and move on Fearul o disine-graing under he weigh o her grie Meg swallowed her sorrow andcomplied wih her moherrsquos demands as bes she could Becca mean-

while learned early in lie ha asking quesions abou her daddy madeMommy sad so afer a while she sopped asking And he years rolledon as i Jim had never exised

Bu afer weny-one years o repressing her grie Meg had recenly

discovered he courage and reedom no only o mourn bu o le Jimlive again in her mind and hear Tough i was difficul o eel he paino his absence she was also remembering he joy o heir lie ogeherand she waned o share some o hose joys wih heir daugher She





waned Becca o know how much her aher had loved her even beorehe knew her She waned o look Becca in he eye and ell her how sorryshe was or wihholding him how she wished she had done hings di-erenly Now ha Meg was remembering his lie and love she hoped he

would come o lie or Becca ooHope Ta word againShe had fixed her gaze on he flickering hope candle during worship

her prayers ocused on he ears ha had paralyzed her he regres hahad consumed her he longings or God ha had begun o emergeawakening her o new possibiliies new opporuniies new courage

yes991252o new hope Kaherine Hannah Mara and Charissa had accom-panied her on he firs seps o ha journey oward ransormaion andhealing Now here were more seps o ake

In England Jim would be so proud o her or raveling by hersel across he ocean

And hersquod be so proud o his daugher heir winged and confiden lively

and spiried daugher who had no inheried her moherrsquos ears TankGod Wih a conened sigh Meg leaned her head agains he windowand closed her eyes evenually lulled o sleep by he genle vibraionso he plane




1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

Charissa Charissa Sinclair wirled srands o her long dark hair around her fin-gerips and lisened o he rhyhmic squeak o he windshield wipers

Wha was keeping him Shersquod already been idling he car or seven991252now eigh991252minues ouside Johnrsquos office building and she didnrsquo wano urn off he engine now

Crsquomon crsquomonShe never should have spen hree whole hours away rom her doc-

oral work especially wih he end o he semeser rapidly approachingBu she was serious abou her desire o be less sel-absorbed so she haddecided o give hersel a break rom paper revisions and spend her class-ree afernoon by going o he airpor o say good-bye and offer supporo Meg And hen raher han eaing by hersel she had invied Mara o join her or lunch Unil recenly Charissa had regarded Mara only as anoverweigh middle-aged housewie wih a abloid pas Mara was hesor o person Charissa had spen a lieime avoiding Tey had nohingin common

Scrach haTey acually did have somehing significan in common hard as i

was o admi Tey boh ldquoneeded gracerdquo Charissa had begun o learnha difficul lesson hrough heir Sensible Shoes group over he pas

several monhso her surprise Charissa had discovered ha she enjoyed being

wih Mara Despie being crass and acless a imes Mara wih herdyed auburn hair brash wardrobe colors and clunky cosume jewelryhad her hear in he righ place ldquoAnyhing you need call merdquo Marahad said a lunch ldquoYou know since your mom is so ar away I could

be like a whachamacalli rdquo

ldquoSurrogaerdquoldquoYeah Surrogae mom Or grandmoher I love babiesrdquoTa was anoher hing hey didnrsquo have in common Charissa had

always been allergic o babies An only child she had never been sub-





jeced o young children had never even babysa as a eenager Whileher riends rained in Red Cross CPR classes and invesed long hours inchildcare o earn exra money or clohes and car insurance Charissaspen her ime invesing in her uure ldquoIrsquos much more imporan or youo spend your ime sudyingrdquo her aher had always insised ldquoYourmoher and I will ake care o everyhing elserdquo

Now he very uure she had srived or was being jeopardized by anunexpeced pregnancy She was less han halway hrough her PhDprogram in English lieraure a Kingsbury Universiy and despie Pro-essor Nahan Allenrsquos assurances ha he program could be flexibleenough o accommodae her needs Charissa didnrsquo like deours Didnrsquolike hem a all

A rap on her window sarled her and she urned o see her husbandrsquos jovial ace pressed agains he we glass ldquoGo aroundrdquo she mouhedpoining o he passenger sea He dashed in ron o he car and hoppedin spraying Charissa wih waer droples

ldquoEnough o he rain already Irsquos December Gimme some snowrdquo John leaned in o kiss her cheek ldquoSorry Irsquom lae Go caugh on hephonerdquo She brushed he moisure off her ace and drove orward whilehe asened his sea bel ldquoGood dayrdquo he asked

Laely a ldquogood dayrdquo mean being able o ea wihou eeling sick Soin ha regard she supposed i had been airly decen ldquoIrsquom wishing I hadspen all afernoon working on my Milon presenaionrdquo

ldquoYoursquove been working on ha presenaion all semeser I hough you were donerdquo

ldquoWell he firs drafrsquos done Bu Irsquove sill go los o revision work odordquo And less han wo weeks lef o complee i Dr Gardiner had in-sruced hem o view hese final presenaions as i hey were con-erence papers and Charissa was deermined o be primed or any pos-sible quesion rom her peers or deparmen aculy One couldnrsquo be

oo prepared or hese hingsldquoYoursquoll be finerdquo John said ldquoYou always do grea More han grea How

was MegrdquoldquoNervous Excied Shersquoll have a good ime once she ges hererdquo




10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

Charissa flipped on her lef urn signal when she reached he roadldquourn righ okayrdquo John saidCharissa raised her eyebrows ldquoWhyrdquo

ldquorus me Jus urn righrdquoldquoWha orrdquoldquoJus humor me okay I wonrsquo ake long PromiserdquoldquoI old you Irsquom already eeling behind oday991252rdquoldquoAnd his will ake hal an hour max urn righ here hen lef a he

ligh on BuchananrdquoCharissa hesiaed hen wih an exaggeraed sigh swiched he lef

urn signal o righ ldquoWhere are we goingrdquoldquoIrsquos a surpriserdquoldquoI hae surprisesrdquoldquoI knowrdquoShe ollowed his verbal insrucions evenually arriving in a sub-

urban neighborhood filled wih ranch-syle houses ldquoOkay wersquore looking

or Columbia Courrdquo John pressed his ace o he window ldquoTererdquo Hegesured oward a sop sign ldquourn righ and go slowrdquo Charissa was al-ready doing weny-five she slowed o fifeen jus o make a poin Hedidnrsquo seem o noice ldquo983092983094983092 9830929830941048632 9830929830951048626991252okay here9912529830921048632983088 Wherehe For Sale sign is Go ahead and urn ino he drivewayrdquo

Charissa pulled in behind a black sedan John leaned orward in hepassenger sea his hand on he dashboard ldquoWhaddya hinkrdquo

Charissa sared a he nicely landscaped beige single-sory houserimmed wih winkling whie lighs ldquoWha do you mean wha do Ihink Whose house is irdquo

He grinned mischievously ldquoOurs maybe Wha do you hinkrdquoldquoWha are you alking abourdquoldquoWell you know how we were crunching our numbers rying o

figure ou i we could afford o buy a houserdquo

Was he being deliberaely obuse Teyrsquod had his conversaionseveral imes over he pas couple o weeks and she wasnrsquo going o havei again Buying a house simply wasnrsquo easible paricularly a house in adesirable neighborhood wih excellen schools she reminded him





ldquoI knowrdquo he said ldquoBu I was on he phone wih my olks earlier odayalking abou he baby and how we werenrsquo sure how we were going omanage wih he one-bedroom aparmen and when I said we mighneed o lease a wo-bedroom or maybe ren a duplex my dad offered ohelp us wih a down paymen on somehingrdquo

She gaped a him ldquoAre you kidding merdquoldquoWould I kid abou somehing like hardquoldquoA down paymen On a houserdquoHe grinned even more broadly ldquoYou know how excied hey are

abou having a grandchild and hey wan o help Yoursquore no going o lepride ge in he way o saying yes are yourdquo

ldquoNo991252o course no991252irsquos jus991252rdquoHe reached or her hand ldquoLisen Jus because your olks arenrsquo en-

husiasic ye doesnrsquo mean oher people donrsquo wan o help andsuppor usrdquo

ldquoUnenhusiasicrdquo was a mild way o describe her parensrsquo reacion o

he news o her pregnancy And honesly Charissa wasnrsquo ready o saymuch abou her own desires excep ha she had moved beyond heriniial shock and resenmen o a place o ambivalence ha she hoped

would evenually become accepance graiude even joy Some days were beter han ohers

Te ron door opened and a woman in business atire beckoned ohem Charissa urrowed her brow ldquoJohnrdquo

He shrugged ldquoWell afer I alked o my dad I did a search online and when I saw his one I couldnrsquo resis I called he lising agen and se upan appoinmenrdquo

Any impulse o chasise him or bringing her here on alse preensesreceded as she considered wha his parensrsquo exravaganly generous gifcould mean or hem Tough Johnrsquos income was enough o keep hemgoing on a no-rills budge while she was in graduae school hey had

only recenly begun o squirrel away some money or a uure downpaymen Tis unexpeced wis changed everyhing

ldquoWha i Irsquod insised on urning lefrdquo she askedldquoI can be very persuasiverdquo




1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

ldquoHmmmrdquo she said looking ino he visor mirror o check her makeupldquoWersquoll seerdquo

All o Charissarsquos atemps o communicae nonverbally wih John whilehey oured he house wih he realor were uile Whereas she houghi would be a good sraegy o remain reserved he couldnrsquo conain his

boundless enhusiasm he hree bedrooms were huge he amily roomhad a large walk-ou deck he kichen had been recenly remodeled

Afer years o dorm rooms and hen a one-bedroom aparmen hishouse o almos wo housand square ee991252plus a finished basemen991252el like a palace ldquoAnd herersquos a big laundry area nex o he mudroomrdquohe realor said

John elbowed Charissa She ofen complained abou lugging laundrydown muliple flighs o sairs o a dark and musy aparmen basemen

ldquoNo more sashing quarersrdquo John said ldquoNo more waiing in line or a

machine Sign me uprdquoldquoWell wersquore cerainly no signing up or anyhing onighrdquo Charissa

declared boh or his and he realorrsquos benefildquoOh o course nordquo she said ldquoGo home and sleep on i And i you

decide o make an offer you can call me in he morning Rememberhough Irsquove go some oher couples coming hrough in he afernoon

And I have a eeling heyrsquore going o love his placerdquo

ldquoYou donrsquo seem very enhusiasic Rissrdquo John said when hey pulledou o he driveway ldquoWha didnrsquo you like abou irdquo

ldquoIrsquos no ha I didnrsquo like i Bu yoursquove had all day o hink abou hisand I had i sprung on me an hour ago You know I donrsquo like makingquick decisions and now Irsquom going o eel pressuredrdquo Her one soundedmore irriaed han she inended ldquoSorry I jus donrsquo wan o rush inoanyhing okayrdquo

ldquoI know I know Bu Irsquove been crunching he numbers ever since Ialked wih Dad his morning and wih heir help on he down paymenhis one is righ in our price range I really hink we should jump on iIrsquos perec Donrsquo you hinkrdquo





He chatered abou how perec i was all he way back o heiraparmen and all he way hrough dinner and all he way hroughcleaning up he kichen While Charissa ried o compile oonoes anda bibliography or her Milon presenaion John parked himsel acrossrom her a he dining room able perusing online phoos o he housepeppering her wih quesions hen apologizing or inerruping her

work hen imparing wha hersquod discovered abou neighborhood compsand school disric raings I was no use She saved her documen andclosed her lapop

ldquoSorryrdquo he said ldquoIrsquoll shu up nowrdquoldquoNo991252yoursquore righ Call your dad and see wha he hinksrdquoldquoReallyrdquoldquoYes Call himrdquoldquoBu do you like irdquoldquoIrsquos grea John Lersquos figure ou wha kind o offer o make Call your

dad show him he link and ge some advicerdquo Had she really jus agreed

o purchase a house John jumped up rom his chair o embrace her ldquoI el righ as soon

as we walked in didnrsquo irdquoUnlike her husband Charissa had never been one or gu-level

decision-making Neverheless he rigorously horough pracical lis-making par o her knew ha he pros would ar ouweigh any cons shemigh ideniy over he nex ew days Hadnrsquo she jus confided o he

group a he airpor abou her desire o grow in leting go o conrolMaybe his was a perec way o pracice o use one o Dr Allenrsquos a-

vorie meaphors maybe i was ime o unurl he sails cach he windand see where hey migh go




1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

Hannah Hannah Shepley and Nahan Allen were enjoying appeizers a heimber Creek Inn when Hannahrsquos cell phone rang Meg She was sup-posed o be en roue o London ldquoTere mus be somehing going onrdquoHannah said

ldquoake irdquo Nahan saidHannah se down a hal-eaen mozzarella sick ldquoHey Meg you okayrdquo

ldquoHannah Irsquom so sorry o boher you Are you and Nahan righ in hemiddle o dinnerrdquo Megrsquos soprano voice sounded even higher han usual

wih a litle exra vibraoldquoNo donrsquo worry irsquos finerdquo Hannah said ldquoWe jus go our appeizers

Is everyhing okay Where are yourdquoldquoA JFK Wersquore supposed o leave in a litle while I hae o boher you

wih his bu I suddenly panicked Irsquom no sure I locked he ron door when I lef And I had he iron on his morning991252rdquo

Hannah mouhed o Nahan Shersquos okay and said o Meg ldquoDonrsquo worry Irsquoll head over here as soon as wersquore finished wih dinnerrdquo

ldquoAre you sure Irsquom probably jus being sillyrdquoldquoNo irsquos fine No rouble a all How was your firs flighrdquo Hannah

pressed he phone more ighly o her ear rying o compensae or he buzz o airpor noise and inercom announcemens

ldquoI was okay I ended up siting nex o someone whorsquos also on hefligh o London and she made sure I ound my way around he airporSo ha helpedrdquo

ldquoGood Le me know when you ge here okay And donrsquo worryabou he house Irsquom planning o check on i every ew daysrdquo

ldquoTank you And donrsquo orge my offer Say here whenever you wanso ha you donrsquo have o keep driving back and orh o he lake okayrdquo

Tey said heir good-byes and Hannah reurned her atenion o heable where candleligh flickered in Nahanrsquos glasses For a momen sheexperienced he odd sensaion o seeing a iny version o hersel re-fleced and held in he cener o his dark eyes A leas she didnrsquo look so





ired anymore Te sabbaical rom minisry was beginning o have hedesired effec o ushering her ino deeper res991252no jus physically andmenally bu spiriually and emoionally

ldquoEveryhing okayrdquo Nahan asked his index finger resing agains hisnealy groomed gray goaee

Hannah was sill geting used o he inensiy o his gaze always pen-eraing and discerning bu now filled wih unetered affecion ldquoYeaheveryhingrsquos finerdquo She dipped he unbiten edge o her mozzarella sickino he single dish o marinara sauce Double-dipping he biten porionseemed an inimacy reserved or married couples or a leas or couples

who had been ogeher longer han wo weeks Nahan on he oherhand had no such inhibiions and dunked reely and requenly ino hecommunal cup ldquoShersquos worried she didnrsquo lock up he house Irsquoll swing

by here onigh beore I head back o he lake jus o checkrdquoldquoIrsquoll go over wih yourdquoldquoNo harsquos okay I can handle irdquo

He reached across he able and clasped he fingers o her lef handldquoIrsquom no quesioning your compeence Hannah Irsquom expressing mydesire o be wih yourdquo

She el her ace flush A almos ory years old she was accusomedo doing everyhing by hersel and even hough she and Nae had beengood riends long ago a romanic relaionship o any kind was uncharederriory or her ldquoWell when you pu i ha wayrdquo she said meeing his

eyes ldquohow can I say nordquoldquoGood And while yoursquore saying yes o ha ha reminds me rdquo He

pulled a handwriten shee o paper rom his coa pockeldquoWharsquos hisrdquoldquoJake made you a lis o all he hings you can do or un around hererdquoHannah ook he lis and read i chuckling I had clearly been writen

by a hireen-year-old ldquoSnowmobilingrdquo

ldquoNo your syle Keep going Hersquos go los o ideas o help you learnhow o playrdquo

She wen on ldquoGo-kars skiing snowboarding sailing Irsquoll ake youup on sailingrdquo




10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

ldquoI know how much you love waching sunsesrdquo Nahan said ldquoWaiunil you wach hem rom ou on he lake Breahakingrdquo He leanedacross he able and scanned he res o he lis ldquoJake also wans a re-mach on Scrabble He doesnrsquo like geting beaenrdquo

Hannah laughed ldquoCompeiive like his dad huhrdquoldquoAbsoluely Like aher like sonrdquo As heir server filled heir waer glasses Hannahrsquos atenion drifed o

he able neares heirs where a woman wih silvered hair ighly permedaround her angular ace sa across rom a younger smarly dressed

version o hersel While Hannah wached he older woman removed aube o lipsick rom her purse unscrewed he cap sudied i a momenand hen afer pressing he wax o her lips ook a bie She squined andiled her head as i rying o decide wheher o explore he unamiliarase and exure by chewing i Te younger woman hrus ou her hand

ldquo Moher rdquo Tose wo agonized pleading syllables filled Hannah wihenderness or boh moher and daugher ldquoSpi i ourdquo Te older woman

se her jaw ldquoPleaserdquo She opened her mouh relucanly and spi depos-iing red drool and goo ino her daugherrsquos ousreched hand

Tough Hannah knew she should gran boh o hem he digniy oprivacy she couldnrsquo pull her gaze away She wached he daugher wipeoff her hand wih her whie cloh napkin hen genly lif her moherrsquoschin and daub he corners o her mouh Te old woman offered a che-rubic grin her eeh smeared wih scarle Ten he daugher discreely

ouched her own eeh and rubbed hem indicaing ha her mohershould do he same Mimicking he gesure he older woman used herindex finger awkwardly as a oohbrush Hannah wondered wha words

were swirling in he mind o he daugherldquoYou okayrdquo Nahan asked ollowing her gaze o heir ableldquoYeprdquoldquoYou surerdquo

Hannah cleared her hroa ldquoYeprdquoShe was already running possible scenarios hrough her head Maybe

he daugher was remembering a ime when she bi ino a crayon andher moher commanded her o spi i ou Or maybe she sa here re-





membering when her moher firs ook her o buy makeup and aughher o apply i Maybe he moher was sill lucid enough o recognize hermomens o conusion and was grieving wha she was losing Maybe helipsick would be he las sraw and he daugher would need o exploremoving her ou o independen living ino some siuaion where she

would be moniored closelyldquoWha are you hinkingrdquo Nahan askedldquoA he momen Irsquom fighing he impulse o go over o ha able and

offer pasoral carerdquoHe raised a single eyebrow

ldquoIrsquom kidding Well hal-kidding A leas Irsquom able o resis he emp-aion righ Guess he sabbaical is helping wih he lsquooverly responsiblepasorrsquo hingrdquo She offered a simple prayer asking God o mee hem inheir need

ldquoWha caugh your atenionrdquo he askedCareul no o be overheard by he daugher Hannah described wha

she had winessedldquoIrsquos so hard o wach loved ones agerdquo he commened Hannah

nodded hen slapped her hand o her orehead and held i hereldquoWhardquo Nahan asked

ldquoomorrowrsquos my moherrsquos birhday Irsquove been so oally preoc-cupied wih my lie here I orgo o send a cardrdquo How could she haveorgoten ha

ldquoHow abou sending her flowersrdquoHannah sighed ldquoNo Teyrsquore leaving he day afer omorrow or New

York o be wih my broher and his amilyrdquoldquoSo send flowers and a card o your broherrsquos houserdquoHmmm Ta would work Leave i o Nae o see he obvious so-

luion She could call in he morning and le her moher know ha a gif would be waiing or her a Joersquos ldquoTarsquos perec Tank yourdquo She pu

Jakersquos lis ino her purse ldquoMy parens are spending a couple o weeks onhe Eas Coas o visi exended amily hey havenrsquo seen in years Andhen heyrsquore going back o Joersquos house or Chrismas My broher inviedme o join hem bu I said no And hen el guily aferward Bu I know




1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

i I go here Irsquoll end up offering o babysi my nieces so ha he and mysiser-in-law can go ou ogeher I love my nieces bu heyrsquore exhausing

And much as I know I need o have a hear-o-hear wih my parensabou all he suff rom he pas harsquos come o he surace laely I silldonrsquo eel ready or hardquo She ucked her chin-lengh ligh brown hair

behind her ears ldquoell me Irsquom no jus making excuses and avoiding hehard suff by saying hererdquo

Nahan shrugged ldquoWell Irsquove go a vesed ineres in your being hereso I donrsquo know how rusworhy my discernmen is Bu I was hoping

yoursquod spend Chrismas Day wih Jake and merdquoTa was precisely wha she had hoped he would say She laid her

hand on his as he server appeared wih heir enrees ldquoWell hen Iaccep your inviaion And I look orward o beaing you a Scrabbleagainrdquo

Nahan picked up his ork and wagged i a her ldquoOh game on ShepGame onrdquo

By he ime hey reached Megrsquos house he rain had sopped and hegray gloom o he clouds had given way o a sar-filled December sky

wih a sliver o a moon ldquoWha a lonely looking placerdquo Nahan com-mened as he looked up a he large Queen Annendashsyle house wih isseep roo ornae rim gables and urre In is prime i would have

been he mos elegan one on he block ldquoMos o hese old Kingsburyhouses have been urned ino aparmens or officesrdquo he said ldquoShe liveshere all by herselrdquo

Hannah nodded ldquoHer mom died in he spring And wih Becca goneirsquos jus her No even a goldfish o keep her companyrdquo

Nahan ollowed her up he creaking seps o he ron porch Someo he ornamenal spindles on he railing had broken off and he pain

was peeling Hannah ried he door Locked ldquoTarsquos one worry downrdquoshe said She insered he key pushed open he heavy door ino a darkand sale oyer and umbled along he wall unil she ound a ligh swichor an anique chandelier





Nahan gave a low whisle which echoed ldquoWhoa A bi like amuseum in here huhrdquo He peered ino he ron parlor filled wihperiod urnishings

More like a mausoleum Hannah hough Especially in ligh o Megrsquosrecen discovery ha her alcoholic aher had commited suicide in anupsairs bedroom when she was a litle girl Meg had been processing somuch sorrow over he pas couple o monhs wih so much courage

ldquoI wonder someimes why she says hererdquo Hannah said ldquoMeg hasnrsquosaid a whole lo abou her relaionship wih her mom bu I ge he im-pression ha i wasnrsquo easy o live ogeher afer Jim diedrdquo She shook herhead slowly ldquoTe whole place jus eels so sad and oppressiverdquo

ldquoSo how abou bringing some lie o irdquo Nahan askedldquoWha do you meanrdquoldquoI mean how abou aking Meg up on her offer o say here while shersquos

gonerdquo Nahan wrapped his arms around her ldquoYoursquod be closer enminues away insead o ory-fiverdquo

Her riend Nancyrsquos lake cotage where Hannah was saying or hernine-monh sabbaical was a peaceul bu remoe and soliary placeTough she had iniially resised991252even resened991252he ourageouslygenerous gif her senior pasor and congregaion had given her Hannahhad come o prize her emporary home She loved waching he sunsesand alling asleep o he sound o lulling or crashing sur She loveddrinking her ea reading Scripure and journaling beside he picure

window She loved going or walks in he early morning when he pinkso dawn li up he enire shoreline wih each umbling wave leaving

behind a glisening canvas ha refleced he glory o he skiesBu her cener o graviy had shifed o Kingsbury paricularly since

reconnecing wih Nahan afer so many years apar Maybe she couldolerae Megrsquos house in small doses Maybe she could say here a ewnighs each week

Nae was righ Being closer o him was a significan incenive

Hannah had jus arrived a he cotage when Meg called again rom JFK o




10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

say her fligh had been delayed or a couple o hours because o mechanicalproblems on he plane ldquoI donrsquo know i wersquore aking off lae onigh or iheyrsquore going o give us hoel vouchers and pu us on a fligh omorrowrdquo

Hannah wriggled ou o her coa while maneuvering he phone Shecould hear he anxiey and he exhausion in Megrsquos voice ldquoIrsquoll keeppraying or yourdquo she said ldquoYou wan me o le Mara and Charissa knowrdquo

ldquoWould you please Te more people praying or me righ now he beterrdquo

No waning o inerrup Charissarsquos sudying Hannah sen her anemail and hen called Mara ldquoSorry o call so laerdquo Hannah said ldquoDid I

wake you uprdquoldquoNo Irsquom uprdquoHannah could hear yelling in he background like a elevision drama

urned up oo loud ldquoYou okayrdquo Hannah askedldquoYeah Irsquom fine Wharsquos uprdquo As Hannah relayed Megrsquos prayer reques he volume o he manrsquos

voice crescendoed Whoever was shouing obsceniies wasnrsquo shouinghem rom a screen ldquoYou sure yoursquore okayrdquo Hannah probed

ldquoYeah Sorry Poor Meg She was worried enough abou flying andnow his rdquo

Righ Now his ldquoIs ha om yellingrdquo Hannah asked She had neverme Mararsquos husband

ldquoYeah Hersquos jus mad because I bough some hings or Jeremyrsquos babyrdquo

Jus mad Ta yelling didnrsquo sound like ldquojus madrdquoldquoIs he hreaening yourdquo Hannah askedldquoNahrdquoBu Hannahrsquos pasoral alarm bells were pealingOver he pas couple o monhs Mara had described her marriage as

difficul bu olerable om spen mos weeks raveling or business andmos weekends ocused on heir wo eenage sons leaving Mara lonely

and isolaed Tough Mara had confided ha she wasnrsquo sure heir mar-riage would las much beyond heir younges graduaing rom highschool she had never hined a any rage or violence Never

ldquoMara991252rdquo





A door slammed and he shouing became more muffledMara mutered a couple o obsceniies o her own ldquoHersquos gonna be in

own all week Lucky merdquoldquoAre you sure yoursquore okayrdquoldquoYeah hersquos gone now Wen down o he basemen o sleep on he

couch Man I hope Meg ges here okay Shersquos gota be exhaused Poorhing Irsquoll definiely be praying or herrdquo

While Mara coninued o express her longings or Megrsquos ime inEngland Hannah curled up in a chair wih a fleece blanke and waiedor he yelling o subside She wasnrsquo sure i saying on he phone wouldescalae omrsquos anger or miigae he siuaion bu Mara didnrsquo seemeager o hang up So Hannah le her alk a lengh abou her son Jeremyand his baby ha was due he firs week o January and how excied she

was o be a grandmoher When Hannah heard only silence in he back-ground and Mara yawned audibly and said she really should ge somesleep hey said heir good-byes

Hannah brewed a cup o chamomile ea and lisened o he pine reescreak and moan in he wind Maybe shifing o Megrsquos house was heperec soluion No only would she be closer o Nae bu she would

be near Mara i she needed help By he sound o hings she neededmore help han Hannah had even imagined




1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

Mara Mara drummed her fingers on he shopping car as she waied in line ahe baby supersore uesday morning I shersquod been quicker o hide heshopping bags Monday afernoon she migh have avoided omrsquos iradeBu he had arrived home rom he office early wih he news ha hisravel plans had changed or he week and she hadnrsquo ye sashed heconraband in her usual hiding places No ha he sroller could havefi in he basemen cupboard I only shersquod kep i in he runk o he carBu no she had decided o bring i inside so she could si and imagineall he walks she would ake wih he baby and she hadnrsquo been quickenough o lie and say Jeremy had bough i when om conroned herBesides He wouldnrsquo have believed her no wih all he oher baby soreshopping bags srewn around he living room wih some specific con-ens arranged on he dining room able or her viewing pleasure

She had been wavering abou he curains Niney dollars wasprobably oo much o spend on wo valances Bu he las ime she had

visied Jeremyrsquos aparmen hey hadnrsquo finished decoraing he babyrsquosroom ye so when she saw curains ha perecly mached he paselfloral quil Abbyrsquos moher Ellen had already hand-siched or he cribMara couldnrsquo resis She bough hem

Bu maybe Ellen was sewing curains Ellen would be he ype o

grandmoher who would sew cue litle sundresses wih maching hasShe would be he one kniting baby blankes and sweaers and mitens

Wha did Mara have o offer he baby i she couldnrsquo buy her hingsShe was sanding here chewing on her fingernail debaing he pur-

chase when om walked in unexpecedly ook one look a her anohera he merchandise and eruped Normally om was a slow boil acurling o a lip ino a sneer a sarcasic or demeaning commen some-

imes a fis raised in anger Bu his991252his pushed him over he edge andhours laer he was sill railing her around he house yelling How dareshe spend his hard-earned money on Jeremyrsquos kid Didnrsquo Jeremy have hisown job o provide or his amily or couldnrsquo he hold one down On and on





he spewed his venom abou his son o hers dredging up every ancien batle every eenage ransgression every guily offense ha no doubproved his lack o worh as an adul A one poin she was convincedom was going o hurl he sroller a a wall Insead he shoved i backino he box He waned all ha crap reurned every bi o i everydollar o his accouned or And none991252did she undersand him991252none o his money was o be spen on ha baby I she waned o buy

baby suff she could find a blankey-blank job and pay or i hersel Washe clear

Tarsquos when Hannah had called righ in he middle o he messldquoChanged your mindrdquo he salesclerk a he reurns couner askedMara handed her a receip ldquoYeahrdquoTe clerk glowered a he loaded shopping car ldquoAll o irdquoMara shifed her weigh rom one leg o he oher ldquoWell I bough

suff or my son and daugher-in-law wihou checking firsrdquoldquoAhhhrdquo he woman said her expression sofening ldquoSay no more Irsquove

go hree married sons and Irsquom sill rying o figure ou how o be a well- behaved moher-in-law Te girls only call when hey wan me o babysihe grandkidsrdquo

No poin correcing her Le her hink i was a ailure o check wihhe parens-o-be insead o a ailure o sand up o a bullying husband

On her way o he exi doors Mara lingered over a display o Chrismasaccessories oo bad her granddaugher wasnrsquo due unil he second o

January She wished she could buy her a Sana ha Or maybe he inynewborn el socks Tey would have been even cuer wih jingle bells onhe oes Choking hazard probably

I was a wonder anyone over he age o ory had survived childhoodgiven everyhing ha had been deemed poenially unsae Even he carseas shersquod used or Kevin and Brian now fifeen and hireen would beconsidered dangerous by he laes sandards As or Jeremy now hiry

he had merrily rolled around on he backsea or on he floor o her oldFord ree rom any consraining bels And hersquod played wih all kinds ooys wih wraparound cords and small removable pieces A differen

world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

ldquoOooh Look Momrdquo A very pregnan young woman approached hedisplay She looked like she could pop any minue ldquoLook a hese el booiesrdquo

Her moher was pushing a shopping car crammed wih packages oonesies and Huggies newborn diapers ldquoOooh Tey are so cuerdquo Shegrabbed wo pairs And a Sana ha And a Grandmarsquos Litle Angel bib

Did hose women have any clue how lucky hey were Any clue whasoever

Probably noMara had hoped ha when Jeremy married she would have a close

relaionship wih his wie Shersquod picured meeing up or lunch orshopping shersquod imagined having conversaions where Abby would askor her advice abou how o be a good wie o Jeremy

No ha she wasnrsquo a good wie Abby made Jeremy happy and ha was somehing o be graeul or Bu eigheen monhs afer he weddingMara was sill waiing or ha inimae conversaion She and herdaugher-in-law had never even had lunch ogeher991252jus he wo o

hem991252even hough hey lived only fifeen minues apar I wasnrsquo ha Abby was unriendly Abby had always been very polie and respeculeven o om Mara had always assumed i was par o her Asian culureand heriage Bu maybe someday Abby would call her ldquoMomrdquo or even

ldquoMarardquo insead o ldquoMrs Garrisonrdquo Ta would be a big momenO course no one could blame Abby or eeling guarded around he

Garrisons ime ogeher wasnrsquo wihou is sress ha was or sure In

ac Abby probably sill hadnrsquo orgiven hem or he Fourh o July dis-aser Mara cringed even remembering i om flipping burgers in hisKing o he Grill -shir and spewing conemp or he ldquooreigners who

were ruining his counryrdquo Brian and Kevin seting off fireworks in hedriveway he shrill whisling squealing explosives causing Abby o

jump in her plasic lawn chair Mara sweaing buckes in her avorie buadmitedly gaudy sars and sripes muumuu as she poured lemonade

ino large red whie and blue plasic cups She had old om no o buyhe fireworks bu did he lisen o her Never

ldquoWersquove go some news Momrdquo Jeremy had said resing his hand onhe back o Abbyrsquos chair Mara se down he picher She knew991252she jus





knew991252wha he was going o say She had been waiing or ha verymomen ever since he wedding

Brian launched an ear-piercing rocke righ as Jeremy said ldquoWersquore991252rdquo BOOMNo waning o shriek premaurely she asked Jeremy o repea

himsel jus o make sureldquoI said Abbyrsquos pregnan Te babyrsquos due in Januaryrdquo A squeal o rival he fireworks escaped her lips She grabbed Jeremy

o embrace him and wihou hinking abou poenial boundary viola-ions pulled Abby o her ee and smohered her in wha mus have ellike a pasy whie mounain o mois perspiring flesh She could sill see

Abbyrsquos uneasy bu polie smile afer she exricaed herselldquoI canrsquo believe i om didya hear ha Irsquom gonna be a grandmoherrdquoom speared a ho dog wih his grill ork and did no replyMara hugged Jeremy again and kissed him on he cheek ldquoWell con-

graulaions Wha wonderul newsrdquo

Abby reurned o he lawn chairldquoI wonder who he baby will look likerdquo Mara mused aloud hen el

hersel blush ldquoI mean991252mixed-race babies are beauiul Jus look a Jeremy991252rdquo

Tarsquos when omrsquos lips curled ino his signaure sneer Te obsceneslur he utered991252voiced loudly enough even or he boys o hear iand snicker991252migh have provoked a ull-fised brawl i Mara hadnrsquo

placed her hand on Jeremyrsquos ches and begged him o ake anoherglass o lemonade

For beter or or worseNo she wouldnrsquo blame Abby or lumping her ogeher wih om and

he boys and regarding hem collecively as par o he ldquoor worserdquo clauseo marimony Wouldnrsquo blame her a all

She drove ino heir neighborhood and sighed Te neighborsrsquo

houses were already decoraed wih pine wreahs and burgundy bowsheir ron paio urns filled wih various combinaions o red dogwoodand fir branches pinecones boxwood and dried pomegranaes Marahad seen insrucions or designing winer urns in a magazine a her




10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

counselor Dawnrsquos office bu om would never approve o spendingmoney on somehing like ha ldquoSupid rourourdquo hersquod say So whileeveryone else in he subdivision decoraed wih delicae whie lighs oneaves shrubs and rees om annually insised on oversized mulicolorflashing bulbs Years ago he neighbors had complained abou he plasicSana sleigh and reindeer on he lawn which he angrily removed aferhreaening o pu he whole ensemble up on he roo Soon he would be lining he driveway wih large plasic candy canes hersquod bough a Walmar jus o spie hem

One o hese years Mara would buy a real evergreen wreah wihapples and pinecones or he ron door For now maybe she shouldhrow away he roting pumpkins and dead mums ha were sill on heporch She was so accusomed o enering he house hrough hegarage she hadnrsquo paid much atenion o wha he ron paio lookedlike I was a wonder Alexis Harding who regularly fired criicismrom her perec Potery Barn home across he sree hadnrsquo griped

abou i ye Alexis had candles in every window greenery in each oher wrough iron window boxes and winkling lighs on he gaedarch in her perennial garden All she needed was a whie picke enceo complee he effec

NauseaingldquoHowrsquore you doinrsquordquo Mara called ou o a rio o power-walking

neighbors as she gingerly picked up he pumpkins by heir sems ldquoFeels

like we migh ge some snowrdquoldquoTeyrsquore saying maybe a couple o inches omorrow nighrdquo one o

hem repliedMara wondered wha hey alked abou when hey walked ogeher991252

small alk gossip or deep hear suff Tere was a ime when Mara hadenvied hem Bu she had her own walking companions now no or hephysical exercise hough Charissa had invied her o walk laps wih her

someime a he mall bu or he spiriual and emoional journey TeSensible Shoes Club I was going o be hard no meeing ogeher o alkand pray over he nex ew weeks Bu come January once Meg washome Mara hoped hey would ge ogeher requenly Maybe even do





anoher rerea ogeher someime Meanwhile she had o figure ouhow bes o survive Chrismas

She ossed a sack o bills ads and Chrismas cards ono hekichen able Wihou even opening he cards she knew she wouldend up eeling resenul and irriaed Tere were hree primary ypeso cards he kind ha only had signaures a he botom (honesly991252

wha was he poin) he Happy Family phoo card rom some exoic vacaion desinaion and he ldquoLook a usrdquo leters wih muliplephoos chronicling every remarkable accomplishmen o perecover-achieving children

Nauseaing Jus once shersquod like o read an hones leter abou a marriage ha was

a disaser a son who was flunking algebra and sel-cenered eenagers who played oo many video games Come o hink o i she could wrieha leter

In ac ha was exacly he sor o hing Pasor Jeff had preached

abou on he firs Sunday o Adven ldquoJesus wasnrsquo born in he Beh-lehem Hilonrdquo hersquod said ldquoHe came righ ino he mess o our world And

we look around a he sinking mess o our lives and wonder wha can be born in a place like hisrdquo

Ta was he quesion wasnrsquo i Wha can be born in a place like hisShe li her afer-Tanksgiving-clearance cinnamon spice candle and

sa down a he kichen able head in her handsNo clue Absoluely no clue








Two Steps

Forward A S TORY OF

PERSEVERING IN HOPE





InerVarsiy Press


emailivpresscom



InerVarsiy Press














ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983092983091983089983096-983091 (prin)

ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983097983096983095983089-983096 (digial)






P 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093 983089983092 983089983091 983089983090 983089983089 983089983088 983097 983096 983095 983094 983093 983092 983091 983090 983089

Y 983091983092 983091983091 983091983090 983091983089 983091983088 983090983097 983090983096 983090983095 983090983094 983090983093 983090983092 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093





Part One


Part Two

Waiing in he Dark 9830891048624983093


Part Four

Love Descends 983090983093983093






Part One

Keeping Watch






P983155983137983148983149 983089983091983088983093-983094




one














1048625 983092 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140









his gregarious























1048625983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































10486251048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

























1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




























10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























InerVarsiy Press


emailivpresscom



InerVarsiy Press














ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983092983091983089983096-983091 (prin)

ISBN 983097983095983096-983088-983096983091983088983096-983097983096983095983089-983096 (digial)






P 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093 983089983092 983089983091 983089983090 983089983089 983089983088 983097 983096 983095 983094 983093 983092 983091 983090 983089

Y 983091983092 983091983091 983091983090 983091983089 983091983088 983090983097 983090983096 983090983095 983090983094 983090983093 983090983092 983090983091 983090983090 983090983089 983090983088 983089983097 983089983096 983089983095 983089983094 983089983093





Part One


Part Two

Waiing in he Dark 9830891048624983093


Part Four

Love Descends 983090983093983093






Part One

Keeping Watch






P983155983137983148983149 983089983091983088983093-983094




one














1048625 983092 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140









his gregarious























1048625983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































10486251048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

























1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




























10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























Part One


Part Two

Waiing in he Dark 9830891048624983093


Part Four

Love Descends 983090983093983093






Part One

Keeping Watch






P983155983137983148983149 983089983091983088983093-983094




one














1048625 983092 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140









his gregarious























1048625983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































10486251048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

























1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




























10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























Part One

Keeping Watch






P983155983137983148983149 983089983091983088983093-983094




one














1048625 983092 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140









his gregarious























1048625983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































10486251048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

























1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




























10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























one














1048625 983092 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140









his gregarious























1048625983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































10486251048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

























1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




























10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048625 983092 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140









his gregarious























1048625983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































10486251048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

























1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




























10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140















































1048625983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































10486251048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

























1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




























10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140












































10486251048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

























1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




























10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140








































1048626983088 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




























10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140










































10486261048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140














































1048626983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140






























1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































10486261048632 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140































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10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140










































1048626983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140

































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1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140













































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10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140













































1048627983088 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140
































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1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140












































10486271048626 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140








































1048627983092 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140























world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140








































world back hen




1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140





























1048627983094 983159983151 S983156983141 983152983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140




































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140















































10486271048632 983159983151 S983156983141983152 983155 F983151983154983159983137983154 983140



























two steps forward by sharon garlough brown - excerpt

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