Triggers: Keeping Things Positive SESSION 7

Homework ReviewChild Centred Play

Was it hard?Was it different?How did your child react?Did you enjoy the time? Can this become a

routine?

In Groups Discuss:

What triggers you when parenting?

Are there common recurrences?

Pick one trigger to work on.

Pushing your buttons

Where are you vulnerable?Why?What are your un-trigger

options?Mindful parentingGet a planDon’t talkStay neutral

Options

Ignore Undesirable Behavior Structure Environment Direct Behavior Offer Choices Encourage Problem Solving Take Time Do not personalize the child’s problem Know your priorities (pick battles)

In Groups discuss

Identify and challenge your trigger

Thoughts to reframe Brainstorm ways to cope

Positive Discipline

Goal is to increase the frequency of desired behavior.

Catch them doing it right Give feedback immediately Positive before negatives Increase frequency of

rewards/feedback Practice forgiveness Keep a disability perspective

Encouragement

Is a perspective of respect and growth as an individual.

Communication provides messages that relay: I trust you and I know you can

How you feel is important

Recognizes effort and that learning is a process. Making mistakes is how you learn.

Appreciates ones role and contribution. You count and things work better when you help.

Praise

You want to acknowledge success. Focus on the child’s perspective and

recognize the positive behavior without judgment or evaluation.

Possible underlying messages that could be relayed. You must please me to be worthwhile.

You must meet my standards to be successful.

You must be superior to others no matter what to be valued.

You are only good when you do what I want.

Communication Tool: ALIVE

Ask Questions

Listen

Use “I” Messages

Validate Feelings

Be aware how you are expressing yourself

Crisis Prevention

Empathy Clarify Respect Space Aware of non-verbal Permit reasonable venting Know and enforce limits Try not to over react Ignore challenges Use the least restrictive method

Think…

BehaviorSolutionPositiveSmallFlexibleFuture

Stress

Assess the shoulds Set goals and priorities Assess time Assert self and communicate

needs Care for self Stress management strategies Change approach (Do it?)

Homework

Find a trigger and work on itCan you engage your child

ALIVE What do you do to relieve

your own stress? Is it enough?