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TRANSCRIPT
Roald Dahl
Biography
Autobiography
Creative Writing
Narrative Writing
Unit 1
Term 1
Assessment focus:
Writing
She ran. Her heart pounded.
WHAT ARE SIMPLE SENTENCES?
Shane hit the tree
the mouse moved
the crowd cheered
the men laughed
the dog barked
the car swervedthe bird dived
YOUR TURN:
CAN YOU CORRECT THESE SIMPLE
SENTENCES?
Todays Lesson Objective:
To understand the difference between a biography and an autobiography
To read for meaning and information
WHAT IS AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY?
What is the difference between a biography and an autobiography?
A biography is a text written by a person about someone else.
An autobiography is a text written by a person about themselves.
William
Shakespeare
was born
in…
I was eight
when I broke
my arm…
“auto” comes from the Greek word for “self”
“bio” comes from the Greek word for “life”
“graphy” comes from the Greek word for “I write”.
Autobiography means writing about your self:
Therefore an autobiography is the story of
the author’s life.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Boy is autobiographical.
It is the story of Roald’s
childhood, full of exciting and
odd events!
ROALD DAHL
Roald Dahl is one of the world’s most popular and most famous children’s writers.
Have you read any of Roald Dahl’s books?
In pairs complete a spider diagram showing everything you know about Roald Dahl.
ROALD DAHL
What do you know about Roald Dahl? Write down as
much as you can on the spider diagram below.
ROALD DAHL
Over the coming lessons we will be studying
‘Boy’ but before we read the book we need
to find out a little bit about the author.
By the end of today’s lesson you should be a
Roald Dahl expert!
Roald Dahl
Born in Born in Llandaff, Cardiff on 13 September 1916 and died on 23
November 1990. Roald Dahl’s parents were Norwegian.
He was only four years old when his father died. Roald was raised by his mother
Sofie. He was happy at home but was sent away to boarding school where he was
very unhappy. When he left school, he went to Africa.
He was a novelist, short story writer, fighter pilot and screenwriter.
Roald Dahl served in the Royal Air Force during the Second World War, in which
he became a flying ace and intelligence agent, rising to the rank of Wing
Commander.
Roald Dahl became famous in the 1940s writing for both children and adults,
and became one of the world's bestselling authors. He has been referred to as
“one of the greatest storytellers for children of the 20th century” and his books
are well loved for their fantastic characters and often very dark humour.
Roald Dahl spent four hours each day in his white hut with the yellow front door.
He would sharpen six pencils, in case he needed them and prepare his yellow
notepaper.
On his desk, Roald Dahl was said to have kept a strange collection of objects.
This included: a paper knife that had belonged to his father (Harald Dahl), his
own hipbone which had carved on it a Grasshopper (his hip had been replaced
during an operation).
Some of his most popular works include James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and
the Chocolate Factory, Fantastic Mr Fox, Matilda, The Witches, and The Big
Friendly Giant.
1.When was Roald Dahl born and
when did he die?
2.List three of Roald’s jobs.
3.When did Roald’s stories first
gain popularity?
4.Name three of Roald Dahl’s
books.
5.Where did Roald write his
stories?
6.Describe a typical day’s writing
routine.
CHECK YOUR UNDERSTANDING
To revise features of a sentence.
To understand how punctuation affects
meaning.
To identify the main types of sentences.
Questions, statements and commands
To learn how to punctuate sentences properly.
Lesson Objectives
Types of SentencesStatements, Questions and Commands
Swinging on its hinges
The blue classroom door
No one said anything.
Silently, we left the room.
We had no homework today.
Glaring at us
He was angry.
The whiteboard pen
He the boys shouted atThe door banged shut.
Sentences Non-sentences
Sentences and non-sentences
Remember!
make sense by themselves,
have a word order that
makes sense,
include punctuation that
helps the reader understand
what the writer meant.
Sentences have to…
. ? !Punctuation is crucial!
We’ll be looking at how we use punctuation to
change meaning.
The basics
Changing a sentence
It’s not there.
It’s not there!
It’s not there?
Different sentences
WE WILL READ THE EXTRACT ON
THE NEXT SLIDE TOGETHER.
WHILE WE READ YOU ARE TO
THINK ABOUT HOW ROALD DAHL
CONSTRUCTS THE CHARACTER MRS
PRATCHETT
MRS PRATCHETT
Today’s lesson is aimed at
developing your knowledge
and understanding of how Roald
Dahl presents the character of
Mrs Pratchett
MRS PRATCHETT
What have you discovered about Mrs Pratchett? Now that you have read up to the end of ‘The bicycle and the sweet shop’ you need to jot down everything you can remember about her
into your work books.
Mrs PratchettWrite a paragraph about Mrs Pratchett. Below are a few sentence
starters to help you get going:
Mrs Pratchett
Mrs Pratchett is introduced to the reader in Chapter Three where she…
Roald describes her as…
She speaks to the children like…
The young Roald Dahl and his friends feel…
Volunteers read out their work to the class. The rest of the class will provide constructive criticism based around the following questions:
What is good about it?
How could it be improved?
DISCUSSION
TO UNDERSTAND COMPOUND
SENTENCES.
A compound sentence is a sentence that contains
at least two coordinating clauses. Usually
combined by using a connective.
E.g. The bird tweeted and fed its young chicks.
Copy this into your books.
Use one of the connectives in the box to change this
short, simple sentence to a compound sentence.
Can you make a compound sentence with
a connective in the middle?
because
if
therefore
so
in order to
since
The driver crashed into the house.
Why?
Use one of the connectives in the box to change this
short, simple sentence to a compound sentence.
Can you make a compound sentence with
a connective in the middle?
when
while
until
after
before
The boys built an enormous snowman.
Use one of the connectives in the box to change this
short, simple sentence to a compound sentence.
Can you make a compound sentence with
a connective in the middle?
because
if
therefore
so
in order to
since
The hunter was looking for deer.
Why?
NARRATIVE WRITING
KEY FOCI
Strong Opening
Don’t reveal all at once
Conversation, used effectively
Questions to intrigue the audience
Metaphors and similes to show character’s
feelings
Ly openers
Ing openers
Written accuracy
IDEAS
Horror and ghost stories
Flashbacks
Flashforwards
Enigma
STARTER
Create a sentence(s) which includes the correct way touse the following words:
There
Their
They’re
Mix, pair, share to read out the examples.
5 minutes…GO!
INTRODUCTION TO NARRATIVE WRITING
What does the phrase ‘Narrative
Writing’ mean?
NARRATIVE WRITING IS…
Written in either the 3rd (he/she/Bob/Sally) or 1st
person (I).
Tells a story, usually in a linear form (beginning,
middle, end).
Follows one character but often encounters a
number of characters.
Includes lots of speech (dialogue).
Is event based – something happens.
GHOST STORIES
The purpose of a ghost story, as well as to
entertain, is to create fear, often only through
suggestion.
There is usually a reason for the ghost’s visit,
often because they feel that they have some kind
of unfinished business.
In a ghost story, the protagonist often helps the
ghost to complete this business and move on.
THINGS TO CONSIDER
Ghost or gothic stories have a lot of conventions (typical
things that should happen).
On your workbook, write a list of everything you expect
to happen in a ghost story.
TYPICAL CONVENTIONS
Setting:
Can be isolated, mysterious, frightening, unusual, threatening, e.g. Castles, old houses, dark woods, etc. are all very popular
Characters: The ghost – frightening, mysterious, troubled
The protagonist (hero/main character) – frightened, innocent, brave
Plot:
Usually builds to a climax
Often an unusual, unexpected twist at the end
Ghost usually allowed to rest in peace or exorcised.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THIS SETTING?
JOT DOWN WORDS AND PHRASES.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THIS IMAGE?
USE IDEAS FROM THE LAST EXERCISE AND
THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS IMAGE TO WRITE A SHORT
PARAGRAPH 5 – 10 SENTENCES.
CRITERIA
Full stops
Capital letters
Figurative language
‘Ly’ or ‘ed’ words to start sentences
Punctuation for tension (colons, semi colons, ellipsis)
Level 4
Level 5
Level 6
PEER ASSESSMENT
Read your partner’s working looking specifically at
the criteria from the last slide.
FIND THE FIB
Which is the odd one out?
1. Don’t go over there, it’s scary.
2. There once was an ugly duckling…
3. Their’s the lame excuses again!
4. In Orlando there’s tons of theme parks.
Now make your own!
story
(what
happens)+
cause
(why things
happen)
=
PLOT
CHARACTERS
Protagonist (Hero / main character)
Ghost
Any other characters
Use few characters to keep the story simple.
TENSION
What happens next?
Then what happens?
What is the climax?
How is the problem resolved?
How does the story end?
Come up with 5 twists or tension building ideas.
Share them with your group.
In your groups decide on your best 5 ideas out of
the 20 you have come up with.
TENSION – FINAL 3
Join forces with another table.
Narrow your final 10 choices down to only 3.
As a whole class we need to cut those 12 down to 5.
Let’s hear your final ones to make a decision on the best ones.
STORY MOUNTAIN
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO FIND IN EACH
SECTION?
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
Beginning: This INTRODUCES the reader to the SETTING in which you have placed your PROTAGONIST. This also introduces your protagonist and lets your reader see the kind of person he / she is.
Middle: This is the bulk of your story and usually starts with something happening. You need an EVENT or a PROBLEM which pushes the action forward. The middle of your story will continue with your tale of how your protagonist handles this occurrence.
End: This is where your story comes to its CLIMAX. The problem is either resolved or your protagonist is defeated. Finally, if you choose to, tie up any loose ends, explain anything as yet unexplained, and conclude your story. Don’t drag your ending out - it should be no more than two paragraphs long.
PLENARY: WHAT WOULD BE THE OPENING /
ENDING TO A STORY WHERE THE PROBLEM IS
THIS:
PLENARY: WHAT WOULD BE THE OPENING / ENDING
TO A STORY WHERE THE PROBLEM IS THIS:
RallyTable
SHOWDOWN: MAKING SENSE OF
THEY’RE; THERE AND THEIR!
My mum was angry with me. “Sit _____”, she shouted. I sat down on the chair.“______ telling me that you took _____ ball. Did you take _____ ball?” I knew that I had taken ______ ball but I did not want to get into trouble. So, I lied!“No Mum, _______ ball, is over _______”“Over where?” She asked. I pointed to a bush,“Over ______!” My mum sent the younger boys over to the bush to look for it, then whispered.“Whilst ______ looking for it, tell me where ______ ball is and we don’t need to talk about it again!” I pointed in the opposite direction to where the boys were and admitted,“I hid it over _______” She looked at me, disappointed, and said, “we won’t talk about it again but you are grounded!”
WHICH WORDS TO CHOOSE?
Word Choice:
Deliberately chosen to heighten suspense and
fear
Use of figurative language (imagery)
Sound words (alliteration and onomatopoeia)
SNOWBALLING
Each table has a screwed up piece of paper. That
piece of paper contains an image.
You need to come up with two INTERESTING
sentences for each sentence which could be used
in a story.
Then, screw the piece of paper back up and throw
it to another table.
Keep going until I tell you to stop.
SNOWBALLING FEEDBACK
What is the most effective sentence / phrase
written on the piece of paper you have in front of
you?
Why is it so effective?
Can you turn that sentence into a paragraph?
Instant Star
SELF ASSESSMENT
Have you been descriptive or narrative?
Do you begin to build a story?
Write yourself a target for next lesson.
THEIR, THERE
AND THEY’RESHOWDOWN
………… HOUSE IS
YELLOW.
There
They’re
Their
………… GOING TO
SCHOOL.
There
They’re
Their
………… CAR IS BLUE.
There
They’re
Their
………… IS A SLIDE IN THE
PARK.
There
They’re
Their
………… HAVING A PARTY.
There
They’re
Their
WORD CHOICE
Your word choice is very important. It creates
meaning.
Careered is a stronger word than ran.
‘Shroud of darkness’ has a different meaning
than ‘cloak of darkness’.
‘He felt helpless’ is more effective than ‘he
didn’t know what to do’.
LY AND ING WORDS
Suprisingly
Obviously
Frighteningly
Slowly
Running
Hiding
Screaming
Worrying
Why are these words
more effective to begin
sentences?
What effect would it
have on the audience?
Mix-Pair-Share
SENTENCE OPENERS
He was scared.
She didn’t know what to do.
The house was huge.
There was nowhere to run to.
Use ‘ly’ and ‘ing’ words to improve these four
sentences.
Sage N
Scribe
INTERESTING STORY
SELF ASSESSMENT
Ly or ing openers
Adjectives
Adverbs
WOW words
Strong plot line
LESSON 5
Praising Stars
STARTER: SHOWDOWN
Decide in your groups on the correct
answer.
I will then ask one person in each
group to stand up and show their
group’s answer.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH
______ BOOK?
DON’T TOUCH _____ THINGS.
HOW CAN YOU TELL _______
HAPPY?
WHAT’S OVER ______? BEHIND
THE BOOKS?
LEARNING OUTCOMES
Aspire:
To apply knowledge of a style to a piece of writing
while considering the effect of the writing.
Challenge:
To consider how words make you feel and how that
can affect a text.
OPENING
Don’t reveal all at once
Make it interesting
Outline a character or setting (or both).
Create enigma!
HOW DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL?
A faint tapping on the window woke Ben from his
uneasy sleep. As he tried to adjust to the darkness he
was aware of an icy chill in the room and the sound of
someone else breathing…
Can you improve it?
OPENING PARAGRAPH - PLAN
1. Who are your characters?
2. What adjectives can you use to describe them?
3. Where is it set?
4. What adjectives can you use to describe it?
5. How do you want your reader to feel at this
point? How are you going to make them feel
that way?
SPAG MARKINGTurn Your SPAG Up! 1-2 marks
• I usually write simple sentences.
• I use conjunctions such as ‘and’ or ‘so’
• I can use some punctuation accurately, such as full stop and capital letters.
• I usually spell simple words correctly.
• I try to use past, present and future tenses.
Keep on SPAG-ing 3 marks
• I usually write simple or compound sentences.
• I am beginning to use more complex punctuation, including question marks and exclamation marks.
• I can usually spell most simple words and some words with more than one syllable.
• I usually use the right homophone in my writing.
• I usually use past, present and future tenses with some accuracy.
Wannabe SPAG-er 4 marks
• I use simple, compound and complex sentences.
• I use punctuation accurately in a variety of sentence structures, including apostrophes, colons and speech marks.
• I use some ambitious vocabulary and most spelling, including that of irregular words, is usually correct.
• I use past, present and future tenses mostly accurately.
Top SPAG-er 5-6 marks
• I use simple, compound and complex sentences to achieve particular effects.
• I use a full range of punctuation accurately structures to vary pace and create effects, including some use of semi-colons and brackets.
• I can use more complex words and generally spell them correctly.
• I use past, present and future tenses accurately and I am very confident in doing so.
PRAISING STARS WRITING
OPENING PARAGRAPH
Write ½ page to 1 ½ page introducing your ideas.
Consider your SPAG (spelling, punctuation and
grammar) as it can be the difference between one level
and the next.
PEER ASSESSMENT – WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR
PARTNER?Turn Your SPAG Up! 1-2 marks
• I usually write simple sentences.
• I use conjunctions such as ‘and’ or ‘so’
• I can use some punctuation accurately, such as full stop and capital letters.
• I usually spell simple words correctly.
• I try to use past, present and future tenses.
Keep on SPAG-ing 3 marks
• I usually write simple or compound sentences.
• I am beginning to use more complex punctuation, including question marks and exclamation marks.
• I can usually spell most simple words and some words with more than one syllable.
• I usually use the right homophone in my writing.
• I usually use past, present and future tenses with some accuracy.
Wannabe SPAG-er 4 marks
• I use simple, compound and complex sentences.
• I use punctuation accurately in a variety of sentence structures, including apostrophes, colons and speech marks.
• I use some ambitious vocabulary and most spelling, including that of irregular words, is usually correct.
• I use past, present and future tenses mostly accurately.
Top SPAG-er 5-6 marks
• I use simple, compound and complex sentences to achieve particular effects.
• I use a full range of punctuation accurately structures to vary pace and create effects, including some use of semi-colons and brackets.
• I can use more complex words and generally spell them correctly.
• I use past, present and future tenses accurately and I am very confident in doing so.
LESSON 6
THEIR, THERE
AND THEY’RESHOWDOWN
………… IS A TOYSHOP IN
TOWN.
There
They’re
Their
………… WAS A DOG IN THE
GARDEN.
There
They’re
Their
………… WEARING BLUE
TOPS.
There
They’re
Their
…….… WERE FISH UNDERWATER.
There
They’re
Their
STARTER: HOW DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL?
Slowly and carefully, Ben got to his feet and
walked over to the mirror.
“I’m not afraid,” he kept repeating to himself.
“I’m not afraid. Ghosts aren’t real.”
What was that? Something seemed to flash behind
the reflection of Ben. Could it be? Was the chant he
was reciting to give himself confidence actually
taunting them?
Instant Star
LEARNING OUTCOMES
Aspire:
To apply knowledge of a style to a piece of writing
while considering the effect of the writing.
Challenge:
To consider how words make you feel and how that
can affect a text.
PRAISING STARS PEER ASSESSMENT – WHAT
WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR PARTNER?Turn Your SPAG Up! 1-2 marks
• I usually write simple sentences.
• I use conjunctions such as ‘and’ or ‘so’
• I can use some punctuation accurately, such as full stop and capital letters.
• I usually spell simple words correctly.
• I try to use past, present and future tenses.
Keep on SPAG-ing 3 marks
• I usually write simple or compound sentences.
• I am beginning to use more complex punctuation, including question marks and exclamation marks.
• I can usually spell most simple words and some words with more than one syllable.
• I usually use the right homophone in my writing.
• I usually use past, present and future tenses with some accuracy.
Wannabe SPAG-er 4 marks
• I use simple, compound and complex sentences.
• I use punctuation accurately in a variety of sentence structures, including apostrophes, colons and speech marks.
• I use some ambitious vocabulary and most spelling, including that of irregular words, is usually correct.
• I use past, present and future tenses mostly accurately.
Top SPAG-er 5-6 marks
• I use simple, compound and complex sentences to achieve particular effects.
• I use a full range of punctuation accurately structures to vary pace and create effects, including some use of semi-colons and brackets.
• I can use more complex words and generally spell them correctly.
• I use past, present and future tenses accurately and I am very confident in doing so.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH THESE?
1. “Don’t you deny it, you miserable little gumboil”! the Trunchbull screamed.
2. “Speak up, boy.” Cat got your tongue, eh?” Too many lies running around loose in your head?” You wouldn’t recognise the truth if it was standing right in front of you”! sneered Mr Taylor.
3. “Heavens and earth, no”! cried Arthur in a storm of passion. “Not for the wide world will I consent to any mutilation of her dead body”.
4. “I d-d-don’t know what to do. I won’t b-b-be able to do it. I just can’t”… whispered Ellen.
CONVERSATION
1. “Don’t you deny it, you miserable little gumboil!” the Trunchbull screamed.
2. “Speak up, boy. Cat got your tongue, eh? Too many lies running around loose in your head? You wouldn’t recognise the truth if it was standing right in front of you!” sneered Mr Taylor.
3. “Heavens and earth, no!” cried Arthur in a storm of passion. “Not for the wide world will I consent to any mutilation of her dead body.”
4. “I d-d-don’t know what to do. I won’t b-b-be able to do it. I just can’t…” whispered Ellen.
TASKS
1. Re read the previous piece of speech.
2. What does the description of HOW the
character spoke tell use about their
personality?
3. What does the words used by the character tell
us about their personality / circumstance?
RULES
In your groups, summarise everything you know
about using speech marks into a set of rules for
Y7s.
For example:
Rule number one -
RallyTabl
e
WHEN WRITING DIALOGUE, REMEMBER:
To make sure that the dialogue reveals something about the CHARACTER’S PERSONALITY;
To make sure that you consider not only WHAT is said, but HOW it is said;
To use dialogue SPARINGLY and only where it is APPROPRIATE.
OTHER THINGS TO CONSIDER:
When to speed up the dialogue by not adding in the name of the person who spoke it;
When it is appropriate to use the simple word ‘said’;
When you should use more expressive words such as shouted, whispered, muttered, etc;
When you should put the verb before and when after the speaker. (said Robert or Robert retorted)
When you should also use an adverb, such as sadly, angrily, etc.
THE BUILD UP
Write the second paragraph to your story.
How are you going to create tension before you
reveal your ghost / scary thing?
SELF ASSESSMENT
Underline:
1 thing you like about your work
Circle:
1 thing you want to improve
Write:
1 thing (sentence) that is better than what you circled for improvement.
LESSON 7
STARTER: PUT IN THE RIGHT HOMOPHONE…
1. The teacher told them to leave …….. books on
the desk.
2. Billy is always ……. on time.
3. ………. are over 900 students at our school.
4. Ask them if ……….. coming tomorrow.
5. Dad was pleased they had done well in ……….
exams.
6. We’ll go to McDonalds if ………. is time.
7. ………. baking a cake for their Grandma.
8. Can you give me ……… telephone number?
9. My parents won’t be coming as ………… both
working on Saturday.There/ They’re/ Their
1. The teacher told them to leave …….. books on the desk.
2. Billy is always ……. on time.
3. ………. are over 900 students at our school.
4. Ask them if ……….. coming tomorrow.
5. Dad was pleased they had done well in ………. exams.
6. We’ll go to McDonalds if ………. is time.
7. ………. baking a cake for their Grandma.
8. Can you give me ……… telephone number?
9. My parents won’t be coming as ………… both working on
Saturday.
their
there
There
they’retheir
there
They’re
their
they’re
LEARNING OUTCOMES
Aspire:
To apply knowledge of a style to a piece of writing
while considering the effect of the writing.
Challenge:
To consider how words make you feel and how that
can affect a text.
HOW DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL? WHY?
Ben screamed and screamed like a banshee. They
had left him there to die, entombed in the cave now
that they had sealed the entrance. When his
screaming subsided and the echo vanished, Ben
heard another sound. A low moaning sound
seemed to be coming closer…
WHAT’S GOOD?
Ben screamed and screamed like a banshee.
They had left him there to die, entombed in the
cave now that they had sealed the entrance. When
his screaming subsided and the echo vanished,
Ben heard another sound. A low moaning sound
seemed to be coming closer…
WHAT’S NOT GOOD?
Ben screamed and screamed like a banshee.
They had left him there to die, entombed in the
cave now that they had sealed the entrance.
When his screaming subsided and the echo
vanished, Ben heard another sound. A low
moaning sound seemed to be coming closer…
WRITE DOWN ANY SIMILES / METAPHORS YOU CAN
SEE
The streets were muddy then, the actual blocks islands
above the gutters, and the entire city so dark compared
to the cities of today. The lights were as beacons in a
black sea. Even with morning rising slowly, only the
dormers and high porches of the houses were emerging
from the dark…
Can you think of another metaphor or simile
that would work well with this paragraph?
WRITE DOWN ANY SIMILES / METAPHORS YOU CAN
SEE
The streets were muddy then, the actual blocks islands
above the gutters, and the entire city so dark compared
to the cities of today. The lights were as beacons in
a black sea. Even with morning rising slowly, only the
dormers and high porches of the houses were emerging
from the dark…
Can you think of another metaphor or simile
that would work well with this paragraph?
WRITE DOWN ANY SIMILES AND METAPHORS
YOU CAN SEE
Sonny, who is a little troubled about this point, indicates the flat sheet of darkness to the right of the sign and extending to the next, smaller oak tree. As he looks at it, the darkness loses its two-dimensionality and deepens backward like a cave, or a black hole softly punched through the air. The cave, the black hole, melts and widens into the earthen road, about five and a half feet wide; it must have been there all along.
Can you think of another metaphor or simile
that would work well with this paragraph?
WINDOWS GAVE NO WARMING SUNLIGHT, ONLY
GLOOMY VIEWS OF SHADOWED COURTYARDS, AT
THE BACK AND THE BLANK, BLIND FACES OF
HOUSES AT THE FRONT
Do houses have ‘faces’?
What is the writer trying to suggest by saying they are
‘blind’?
What is this technique called?
Write 3 examples of your own
ALLITERATION AND ONOMATOPOEIA
What is the definition of these two terms?
ALLITERATION and ONOMATOPOEIA can be used to good effect:
The blank blind faces at the front
The hissing gaslight was strangely dimmed
The bushes cast strange shaped shadows
His teeth chattered and clacked uncontrollably
The sharp croak of birds
It offered no sound apart from the crackle of logs on the fire, or sigh of wind in the chimney
Use this image to write about this house.
SELF ASSESSEMENT
Did you manage to do the following:
Alliteration
Personification
Simile
Metaphor
Circle any sentences where you have done these with a red pen
LESSON 8
STARTER:
1. ________ house is on fire.
2. When I see them, ______ going to pay!
3. _______ are too many people here.
4. It’s ________ decision, not ours.
5. _______ is no justice in the world.
6. _______ here, they’ve just arrived and gone over ________.
7. It wasn’t me, it was _______ fault.
LEARNING OUTCOMES
Aspire:
To apply knowledge of a style to a piece of writing
while considering the effect of the writing.
Challenge:
To consider how words make you feel and how that
can affect a text.
SETTING
What the place looks like. You should choose your words carefully here, giving as much description as you can.
If the place is light, dark, or has certain colours. Often a dark setting at night is used in these type of stories. However a bright, sunlit day could work well since it is an unexpected setting. You could also use colour as a warning to your reader. For example, each time the ghost, monster appears the room takes on a red glow.)
What the weather is like. Traditionally, storms and rain work well in ghost stories, as do snow, fog etc.
What sounds there are. Depending on the weather, this could be sounds of wind howling, thunder crashing, etc.
Any other impression made on the senses. The use of strange aromas works well; the feel of the walls, the dampness of the fog on the skin etc; unusual tastes, such as strong perfume which catches in the throat.
EXAMPLE OPENING
During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher. I know not how it was – but, with the first glimpse of the building, a sense of insufferable gloom pervaded my spirit.
The Fall of the House of Usher by EDGAR ALLEN POE
EXAMPLE OPENING
Even before I knew more about that piece of furniture I wouldn’t have wanted it in my house. For a valuable antique, it wasn’t particularly attractive. With that tall stack of dark mahogany drawers, and those long spindly bowed legs, it looked not only heavy but top-heavy. The carved bonnet-top of the highboy was too elaborate for my taste, and the surface had been polished till it glistened a deep blackish brown, exactly the colour of canned prunes.
The Highboy by ALISON LURIE
COMPARE THE TWO
Which is the most interesting?
Which makes you want to read on?
Why?
THE ‘PROBLEM’
In order to make your work seem scary, you need to
have a problem, dilemma or event that is the
crescendo of your whole piece of writing.
What is your ‘problem’?
STORY-TIME
Re-tell today’s lesson as a story.
Ensure you have a beginning, a
middle and an end.
Pretend the lesson is an
ACTION
story.
LESSON 9
STARTER: THERE/THEY’RE/THEIR
1. I think…………at home, because …………car
is still parked ………… outside the house.
2. Put the cake ……………In a few minutes
…………..bringing …………… children for tea
and cake as a treat.
3. ………… coats were left in the shop, so
…………… going back …………. to fetch them.
LEARNING OUTCOMES
Aspire:
To apply knowledge of a style to a piece of writing
while considering the effect of the writing.
Challenge:
To consider how words make you feel and how that
can affect a text.
MAKING A DESCRIPTION BETTER
PORTMAN SQUARE, LONDON, 1911.
It was an old house which stood on the corner of the street. The corridors were very long and not very well lit. The sun didn’t shine in the windows , and so the house didn’t have a good view.
At night, the house grew very dark. As well as being difficult to light, the house was always very cold.
MAKING A DESCRIPTION BETTER
PORTMAN SQUARE, LONDON, 1911.
It was a strange and rambling house, full of old oak stairways. Long and narrow corridors seemed to hold dark and evil secrets. Windows gave no warming sunlight, only gloomy views of shadowed courtyards at the back and the blank, blind faces of houses at the front.
After sunset a shroud of darkness seemed to wrap itself around the house before creeping slowly inside. Blazing log fires hardly seemed to warm the rooms and hissing gaslight was strangely dimmed.
CAN YOU DO BETTER?
The house at the end of the road was still.
No one had lived there for years.
It was dusty and dirty and most of the boards
around the house were rotten or covered with
weeds. It was horrible really.
Why anyone would want to buy it, I don’t know.
RESOLUTION
Your story needs to start calming down after the
‘big event’ we wrote about last lesson.
In this section you need to write about how your
character feels after what just happened. You
should also mention any little events that happen
as a reaction to the big event.
PEER ASSESSMENT
Look at your partner’s work.
Have they:
Spelled correctly
Used correct punctuation
Written in full sentences
Used correct capital letters
DESIGN A PLENARY
In groups, design a plenary activity to use next lesson. We will be looking at making a narrative better.
LESSON 10
DESIGN A PLENARY
In groups, design a plenary activity to use next lesson. It should fit in with the narrative writing we’ve been doing, or should focus on an
area of literacy.
TASK ONE
Read the following extract and note how the writer
changes the mood/atmosphere from the first
paragraph to the second.
Overhead the trees arched, and water birds, becoming used to my harmless presence, called out softly. Once or twice a kingfisher flashed. There were trout in the warm water, I could feel them brush gently against my bare legs every now and then as I waded knee-deep along the course of the brook.
And then – suddenly: fear. Where did it come from? I had no means of knowing. Menace. Cold fear was all around me – in the dark arch of the trees, the tunnel they make (into which the stream vanished), the sharp croak of birds, the icy grip of the water on my calves, the gritty scour of mud on my grimed and scraped hands. But most of all, in my own mind, as if down at the back of it, stood something hidden, watchful, waiting.
TASK TWO
Underline the phrases in the second paragraph which
match, but alter, the mood of the phrases from the first
paragraph.
TASK THREE
Rewrite the following passage in which a safe,
comfortable setting / atmosphere becomes one of
fear and menace.
The cottage stood hidden from the road, held protectively by the surrounding trees. Ivy climbed the walls, making it difficult to see what colour the stonework underneath had originally been. The windows peered inquisitively out at those who approached, while the door was always opened in a welcoming smile.
The little house was cosy and friendly. It smelt of woodsmoke and apples when you walked in and little squares of sunshine fell through its tiny windows. It offered no sound apart from the crackle of logs on the fire, or sigh of wind in the chimney.
New wooden floorboards had been laid in a couple of rooms over the bricks, for warmth, and these had shrunk as they dried; just sometimes you’d get the feeling as if somebody else had stepped on to the board you stood on, and made it bend a little.
YOUR PLENARIES!
Last lesson you all created your own plenary to use
this lesson.
Let’s see some of them!
LESSON 11
HOW TO CREATE A CHARACTER
Physical appearance
How they make others feel
The presence / atmosphere created by them
Attitude
Actions
WOW words
BOSS VOLE
Boss Vole strode off the elevator as soon as it opened and was halfway down the line of work modules before the young man at the reception desk could alert the staff by pressing the intercom buzzer. The Vole always made a last round trip of the office before these business trips. She claimed it was to pick up last minute papers, but everyone knew she was there to inject a parting dose of her poisonous presence, enough venom to goad them until her return. Lenna Jordan had been the Vole’s assistant too long to be caught by her raiding tactics. She felt the wave of tension slide through the office in the silenced voices, the sudden steady hum of machines, and the piercing “Yes, Ma’am!” as the Vole pounced on an idling clerk. Jordan pushed the bowl of candy closer to the edge of the desk where the Vole usually leaned while harassing her, and went back to her reports.
CREATING A CHARACTER: BOSS VOLE
TASK ONE
Underline all the WORDS which suggest that Boss Vole was a nasty, disliked person.
TASK TWO
What do her ACTIONS reveal about her character?
TASK THREE
Now rewrite this passage, making Boss Vole a kind, well-liked person. You may want to change her name!
CREATING A CHARACTER
Rewrite the following example, giving a clearer
description of the ghost, as well as some indication
of whether it is to be feared or not.
Remember to use the techniques you learned when
looking at setting and atmosphere.
CREATING A CHARACTER
Tom slept quite restlessly. When he wore up at the
foot of the bed was a shape. It was still. The head
nodded and the white hair moved. It stared at
Tom and its mouth opened.
Rewrite this making the character of ‘the
shape’ more interesting
YOUR PLENARIES!
Two lessons ago you all created your own plenary
to use this lesson.
Let’s see more of them!
LESSON 12
ENDING
There are many ways to end a short story but the most popular and effective ways usually:
Tie up all the loose ends in the story
Answer all the questions in the reader’s mind
Bring a resolution to the problem
Often offer a surprise, something the reader did not know about
Have a ‘twist in the tale’
May be a line of dialogue
Can be a cliff-hanger, whereby the writer gives some hint in the final line that the danger is not over but will return …
THE PROTAGONIST IS CAUGHT BY
THE GHOST/MONSTER
… the door clicked open and the motorcycle boots
crossed the room toward where he lay. Over his
bed he could see the picture of the Road Virus’ car
idling in front of his house with the driver’s-side
door open.
The driver’s-side bucket seat, he saw, was full of
blood. I’m going outside, I think, Kinnell thought,
and closed his eyes.
THE PROTAGONIST’S ARE TRIUMPHANT
AND WILL PASS THE TALE ON
We want no proofs; we ask none to believe us! This boy
will some day know what a brave and gallant woman his
mother is. Already he knows her sweetness and loving
care; later on he will understand how some men so loved
her, that they did dare much for her sake.
THE HORROR IS OVER AND LIFE CAN GO
BACK TO NORMAL FOR THE
PROTAGONIST
His ordinary life of school and friends and games and
music, a life where there were schools to go to and crisp
sheets to slide between at night, the ordinary life of a
thirteen-year-old boy (if the life of such a creature can
ever, in its colour and riot, be considered ordinary) had
been returned to him, he realized.
THE PROTAGONIST DOES THE RIGHT
THING AND SAVES HIMSELF (AND
OTHERS) AT THE LAST MINUTE
The knocking ceased suddenly, although the echoes of it
were still in the house. He heard the chain drawn back,
and the door opened. A cold wind rushed up the
staircase, and a long loud wail of disappointment and
misery from his wife gave him the courage to run down
to her side, and then to the gate beyond. The street
lamp flickering opposite shone on a quiet deserted road.
WHICH ENDING WAS THE BEST?
Discuss it with your table
COMPLETE THE ENDING OF YOUR GHOST STORY
Try one of the following:
Tie up all the loose ends in the story
Answer all the questions in the reader’s mind
Bring a resolution to the problem
Often offer a surprise, something the reader did not know about
Have a ‘twist in the tale’
May be a line of dialogue
Can be a cliff-hanger, whereby the writer gives some hint in the final line that the danger is not over but will return …
HELPFUL TIPS
Write 5 top tips or golden rules about the topic for students taking the lesson next year.
LESSON 13
STARTER: QQT
Create your own quiz quiz trade card which tests other
people in the room and their knowledge of their/ there/
they’re.
Write a sentence on the front with a missing word
(their/there/they’re) and write the correct missing word
on the back.
Cascading clouds enclosed the rugged forest. The rain groaned with persistence as it tapped onto the window panes of the dreary dark stone walls. The thunder clapped throughout the night sky. The howling sound of wolves signalled the midnight hour.
Which language features are used here?
What is the effect of these?
How does reading this piece make you feel? What does it make
you imagine?
The Bald Man
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge
The Yellow Mask
The Face at the Window
The Gnarled Hand
The Monkey’s Paw
The Little Glass Bottle
Mystery in the Graveyard
Beyond the Mirror
Through the Door
The Hunt
The Shadow Men
The Dolls’ House
An Incident in the Barn
A Problem on the Left
The Bricked up Window
The Red Shoes
WHICH TITLE IS
SCARIER? WHY?
The Bald Man
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge
The Yellow Mask
The Face at the Window
The Gnarled Hand
The Monkey’s Paw
The Little Glass Bottle
Mystery in the Graveyard
Beyond the Mirror
Through the Door
The Hunt
The Shadow Men
The Dolls’ House
An Incident in the Barn
A Problem on the Left
The Bricked up Window
The Red Shoes
SCARY TITLE
Using your choice of title from the previous slide,
write a short scary story of no more than 100
words.
Rules:
Make it scary.
Focus on your spelling / punctuation / grammar
End on a cliffhanger
PEER ASSESSMENT
Check your partner’s SPAG.
Write them a target to improve for next lesson.
WHICH PIC?
Which picture matches your learning today? Explain why?
LESSON 14
10 MINUTE STORIES
Brief: Each group will have a piece of A3 paper. On your
groups you must come up with the best story to win a
prize for your group.
Rules:
You must only use the title I give you.
You have a time limit of 10 minutes to write it.
Everyone must write.
One person will be the spokesperson to read out.
TITLE: DON’T!
Your time starts now. You have 10 minutes to write your
story.
Keep an eye on the clock!!
FEEDBACK
Your nominated spokesperson must come to the front with your story.
Each spokesperson will be able to tell their story while everyone else listens. You can make the story-telling as interesting as you wish.
Everyone else – you must listen carefully. You will be voting for your favourite – and you can’t vote for your own.
CONGRATULATIONS!
PLTS
Back to Plenaries
Creative Thinker
Independent Enquirer
Team Worker
Self Manager
Reflective LearnerEffective Participator
1) Pick one of the skills and explain how you have used it today…
2) Pick one of the skills and explain how you have improved it today…
3) Pick one of the skills and explain how you will aim to use it or improve it next time…
LESSON 15
STARTER:
Come up with a fun way of remembering which
there/their/they’re to use.
Make it as interesting as possible.
Be prepared to share it with the class.
FOR EXAMPLE:
hereIt is here, now put it there.
heir
The heir inherits their
house.
hey’re
place
Inherits
belongings
They are
Hey look! They’re all eating their apples there.
185
HOW CREATIVE CAN YOU BE
Imagine who sits in this chair. Describe them.
You have 10mins to write a
CREATIVE, IMAGINATIVE and
INTERESTING response to the
following.
PEER ASSESSMENT
Look at your partner’s work.
Do you think this is realistic? Do you like it? Why /
why not?
Write a target for the next ten minute task.
187
HOW CREATIVE CAN YOU BE
You step off a bus in the year 2933. Describe what
you see.
You have 10mins to write a
CREATIVE, IMAGINATIVE and
INTERESTING response to the
following.
SELF ASSESSMENT
Re read your work.
Did you remember to use capital letters,
punctuation and full sentences in your writing?
Give yourself a target for the next task.
189
HOW CREATIVE CAN YOU BE
Imagine you
are the shark
and describe
your thoughts.
You have 10mins to write a
CREATIVE, IMAGINATIVE and
INTERESTING response to the
following.
PEER ASSESSMENT
Look at your partner’s work.
Did your partner use any adverbs or adjectives?
Could they have used more WOW words?
Write them a target for next half term. It should be
quite detailed explaining what they need to do and
how they can do it.
BEAT THE TEACHER
Your task is to try and beat the teacher!
In tables, come up with three questions based around your learning from this half term and see if the teacher can answer
them.
OBJECTIVE:
TO UNDERSTAND HOW AUTOBIOGRAPHIES
MAKE MEMORIES INTERESTING AND
POWERFUL BY THEIR VOCABULARY CHOICE.
FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL
Do you remember your first day at school?
What was it like? How did you feel?
Was it different to what you expected?
Autobiography is written in the
first person. The narrator always
tells the story from their own
point of view:
The First Person
The first person means writing from your own point of
view. You describe what happened from your perspective
and include your personal thoughts and feelings.
When using the first person you will use personal pronouns
such as: I, me, my, myself, we and us.
“My earliest memory is when I fell down the stairs aged
three and a half. My mum had left me playing…”
THE PASSAGE WHICH FOLLOWS IS AN EXTRACT FROM AN
AUTOBIOGRAPHY, PART OF WHICH IS SET IN GLASGOW. IT DESCRIBES A
BOY'S FIRST DAY AT A SECONDARY SCHOOL.
A lank young teacher led us into the classroom. The girls sat in desks to his right, the boys to the left, and he faced them with hands on hips leaning forward from the waist. He said, "My name is Maxwell. I'm your form teacher. You come to me first period each day to have the class register called and to bring reasons for having been absent or late. They'd better be good reasons. I'm also your Latin teacher." He stared at us a while, then said, "I'm new to teaching. Just as I'm your first senior secondary school teacher, you are my first senior secondary school class. We're starting together, you see, and I think we’d better decide here and now to start well. You do right by me and I'll do right by you. But if we quarrel about anything you're going to suffer. Not me." He stared at us brightly and the frightened class stared back. He had a craggy face with a rugged nose, trimmed red moustache and broad lips.
FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL
Here's a closer look at some of the features you should be able to spot.
You should spot that characters are introduced. Mr Maxwell is a "lank young teacher".
The writer provides description of characters: " he faced them with hands on hips leaning forward from the waist.”
The story in both extracts is told in the 1st person : "A lank young teacher led us into the classroom".
Language in both extracts is used imaginatively. Did you spot the vivid description in "He had a craggy face with a rugged nose, trimmed red moustache and broad lips." This example shows language being used to create strong impressions of the people or places in the story.
WRITING TASK.
You are going to write a narrative about any part of your
childhood.
Remember to use the key features of autobiographical
writing:
•First person perspective
•Personal pronouns
•Introduce new characters
•Use imaginative and vivid description
•Include anecdotes
PLANNING…
What can I write about?
Growing up?
Write down your ideas
Start adding detail(think back to the alphabet game)
Consider your vocabulary
You are looking For a minimum of
One A4 page
Infant/primary school?
Now?
Staying with Granny
The house was small with a white gate and a big back garden containing a fragrant lilac tree. Holidays were wonderful… except for that one time when I nearly drowned.
When I was a very little girl, my mum and dad used to take me to stay with my grandmother in the summer holidays. She lived in a detached house in Bournemouth called Lilac Cottage which was near the sea and we spent days on the sandy beach, having picnics and swimming.
There were always lots of people around because Granny lived with her sister, Ann, her sister’s daughter, Jane, and Jane’s husband, Jim, who was a small time farmer so there were always plenty of animals to play with. There were other relatives as well forever coming and going, so it was never quiet.
I loved my Granny. She was a tall, slim woman with grey wavy hair, dark, deep-set eyes and endless patience. My dad was her only child and I was her only grandchild, the apple of her eye. She would sit with me for hours, reading, playing games and doing jigsaws. There was no television in those days!
Lilac Cottage
My Granny
Staying with Granny
The house was small with a white gate and a big back garden containing a fragrant lilac tree. Holidays were wonderful… except for that one time when I nearly drowned.
When I was a very little girl, my mum and dad used to take me to stay with my grandmother in the summer holidays. She lived in a detached house in Bournemouth called Lilac Cottage which was near the sea and we spent days on the sandy beach, having picnics and swimming.
There were always lots of people around because Granny lived with her sister, Ann, her sister’s daughter, Jane, and Jane’s husband, Jim, who was a small time farmer so there were always plenty of animals to play with. There were other relatives as well forever coming and going, so it was never quiet.
I loved my Granny. She was a tall, slim woman with grey wavy hair, dark, deep-set eyes and endless patience. My dad was her only child and I was her only grandchild, the apple of her eye. She would sit with me for hours, reading, playing games and doing jigsaws. There was no television in those days!
Lilac Cottage
My Granny
Your title should give a clue about the content
Staying with Granny
The house was small with a white gate and a big back garden containing a fragrant lilac tree. Holidays were wonderful… except for that one time when I nearly drowned.
When I was a very little girl, my mum and dad used to take me to stay with my grandmother in the summer holidays. She lived in a detached house in Bournemouth called Lilac Cottage which was near the sea and we spent days on the sandy beach, having picnics and swimming.
There were always lots of people around because Granny lived with her sister, Ann, her sister’s daughter, Jane, and Jane’s husband, Jim, who was a small time farmer so there were always plenty of animals to play with. There were other relatives as well forever coming and going, so it was never quiet.
I loved my Granny. She was a tall, slim woman with grey wavy hair, dark, deep-set eyes and endless patience. My dad was her only child and I was her only grandchild, the apple of her eye. She would sit with me for hours, reading, playing games and doing jigsaws. There was no television in those days!
Lilac Cottage
My Granny
Set the scene for this part of your autobiography. Where and when does it take place? Who else does it include?
Staying with Granny
The house was small with a white gate and a big back garden containing a fragrant lilac tree. Holidays were wonderful… except for that one time when I nearly drowned.
When I was a very little girl, my mum and dad used to take me to stay with my grandmother in the summer holidays. She lived in a detached house in Bournemouth called Lilac Cottage which was near the sea and we spent days on the sandy beach, having picnics and swimming.
There were always lots of people around because Granny lived with her sister, Ann, her sister’s daughter, Jane, and Jane’s husband, Jim, who was a small time farmer so there were always plenty of animals to play with. There were other relatives as well forever coming and going, so it was never quiet.
I loved my Granny. She was a tall, slim woman with grey wavy hair, dark, deep-set eyes and endless patience. My dad was her only child and I was her only grandchild, the apple of her eye. She would sit with me for hours, reading, playing games and doing jigsaws. There was no television in those days!
Lilac Cottage
My Granny
More information and ‘hook’.Describe the scene, the people and what you felt about it. Mention something you will come back to later.
Staying with Granny
The house was small with a white gate and a big back garden containing a fragrant lilac tree. Holidays were wonderful… except for that one time when I nearly drowned.
When I was a very little girl, my mum and dad used to take me to stay with my grandmother in the summer holidays. She lived in a detached house in Bournemouth called Lilac Cottage which was near the sea and we spent days on the sandy beach, having picnics and swimming.
There were always lots of people around because Granny lived with her sister, Ann, her sister’s daughter, Jane, and Jane’s husband, Jim, who was a small time farmer so there were always plenty of animals to play with. There were other relatives as well forever coming and going, so it was never quiet.
I loved my Granny. She was a tall, slim woman with grey wavy hair, dark, deep-set eyes and endless patience. My dad was her only child and I was her only grandchild, the apple of her eye. She would sit with me for hours, reading, playing games and doing jigsaws. There was no television in those days!
Lilac Cottage
My Granny
More information and description.Say who the other people were, and something about them.
Staying with Granny
The house was small with a white gate and a big back garden containing a fragrant lilac tree. Holidays were wonderful… except for that one time when I nearly drowned.
When I was a very little girl, my mum and dad used to take me to stay with my grandmother in the summer holidays. She lived in a detached house in Bournemouth called Lilac Cottage which was near the sea and we spent days on the sandy beach, having picnics and swimming.
There were always lots of people around because Granny lived with her sister, Ann, her sister’s daughter, Jane, and Jane’s husband, Jim, who was a small time farmer so there were always plenty of animals to play with. There were other relatives as well forever coming and going, so it was never quiet.
I loved my Granny. She was a tall, slim woman with grey wavy hair, dark, deep-set eyes and endless patience. My dad was her only child and I was her only grandchild, the apple of her eye. She would sit with me for hours, reading, playing games and doing jigsaws. There was no television in those days!
Lilac Cottage
My Granny
More description.If there is a special person mentioned, say why they were special, and how you felt about them.Can you include a simile?
Ever since then, I have had a fear of water and didn’t learn to swim properly until I was in my thirties. Even now, I can’t stand my face being in the water!
We were at the beach one day and I can remember quite plainly being in the sea in a small, inflatable boat with a transparent base. I can remember the water being so clear that I could actually see the sand through it and I must have thought it was a lot shallower than it was. I decided to climb out, only to find that the water was much deeper than I was tall.
I couldn’t swim (I was only about three years old) and I must have been floundering about for a few minutes before my dad spotted me and waded in to rescue me. I was really frightened and started to panic when the water kept going up my nose.
I can either remember, or I have been told, that Granny was furious. Not with me, oh no, it wasn’t my fault! She was cross with my mum and dad for not looking after me properly and allowing it to happen.
Ever since then, I have had a fear of water and didn’t learn to swim properly until I was in my thirties. Even now, I can’t stand my face being in the water!
We were at the beach one day and I can remember quite plainly being in the sea in a small, inflatable boat with a transparent base. I can remember the water being so clear that I could actually see the sand through it and I must have thought it was a lot shallower than it was. I decided to climb out, only to find that the water was much deeper than I was tall.
I couldn’t swim (I was only about three years old) and I must have been floundering about for a few minutes before my dad spotted me and waded in to rescue me. I was really frightened and started to panic when the water kept going up my nose.
I can either remember, or I have been told, that Granny was furious. Not with me, oh no, it wasn’t my fault! She was cross with my mum and dad for not looking after me properly and allowing it to happen.
Move events on in time by using time connectives. Mention something that actually happened which leads on from your hook.
Ever since then, I have had a fear of water and didn’t learn to swim properly until I was in my thirties. Even now, I can’t stand my face being in the water!
We were at the beach one day and I can remember quite plainly being in the sea in a small, inflatable boat with a transparent base. I can remember the water being so clear that I could actually see the sand through it and I must have thought it was a lot shallower than it was. I decided to climb out, only to find that the water was much deeper than I was tall.
I couldn’t swim (I was only about three years old) and I must have been floundering about for a few minutes before my dad spotted me and waded in to rescue me. I was really frightened and started to panic when the water kept going up my nose.
I can either remember, or I have been told, that Granny was furious. Not with me, oh no, it wasn’t my fault! She was cross with my mum and dad for not looking after me properly and allowing it to happen.
Add more details.Was there a problem?How was it resolved?
Ever since then, I have had a fear of water and didn’t learn to swim properly until I was in my thirties. Even now, I can’t stand my face being in the water!
We were at the beach one day and I can remember quite plainly being in the sea in a small, inflatable boat with a transparent base. I can remember the water being so clear that I could actually see the sand through it and I must have thought it was a lot shallower than it was. I decided to climb out, only to find that the water was much deeper than I was tall.
I couldn’t swim (I was only about three years old) and I must have been floundering about for a few minutes before my dad spotted me and waded in to rescue me. I was really frightened and started to panic when the water kept going up my nose.
I can either remember, or I have been told, that Granny was furious. Not with me, oh no, it wasn’t my fault! She was cross with my mum and dad for not looking after me properly and allowing it to happen.
Can you add a picture, or an illustration?
Ever since then, I have had a fear of water and didn’t learn to swim properly until I was in my thirties. Even now, I can’t stand my face being in the water!
We were at the beach one day and I can remember quite plainly being in the sea in a small, inflatable boat with a transparent base. I can remember the water being so clear that I could actually see the sand through it and I must have thought it was a lot shallower than it was. I decided to climb out, only to find that the water was much deeper than I was tall.
I couldn’t swim (I was only about three years old) and I must have been floundering about for a few minutes before my dad spotted me and waded in to rescue me. I was really frightened and started to panic when the water kept going up my nose.
I can either remember, or I have been told, that Granny was furious. Not with me, oh no, it wasn’t my fault! She was cross with my mum and dad for not looking after me properly and allowing it to happen.Say something about how people felt about the event. In this example, Granny was furious!
Ever since then, I have had a fear of water and didn’t learn to swim properly until I was in my thirties. Even now, I can’t stand my face being in the water!
We were at the beach one day and I can remember quite plainly being in the sea in a small, inflatable boat with a transparent base. I can remember the water being so clear that I could actually see the sand through it and I must have thought it was a lot shallower than it was. I decided to climb out, only to find that the water was much deeper than I was tall.
I couldn’t swim (I was only about three years old) and I must have been floundering about for a few minutes before my dad spotted me and waded in to rescue me. I was really frightened and started to panic when the water kept going up my nose.
I can either remember, or I have been told, that Granny was furious. Not with me, oh no, it wasn’t my fault! She was cross with my mum and dad for not looking after me properly and allowing it to happen.
Finish the writing by bringing it up to dateor writing how you felt about the events.
To review what we mean by the term ‘sentence’
and the ways in which words are put together to
make a sentence.
To identify some common features of a sentence.
Objectives:
What is a sentence?
SENTENCES AND NON-SENTENCES
Decide which five sets of words can be collated to make sentences that make sense.
LOOKING AT OTHERS’ WORK
We pushed open the door
there was nothing but
darkness we see. Then
something moved something
slithery and rustled about what
was it rat Arif hung back
scared but I wanted to see
what was in there
LOOKING AT OTHERS’ WORK
We pushed open the door.
There was nothing but
darkness we see. Then
something moved something
slithery and rustled about what
was it rat Arif hung back
scared but I wanted to see
what was in there
Full-stop
at end of a
unit of
meaning
that can
stand
alone.
A capital
letter to
start the
next
sentence
We pushed open the door.
There was nothing but
darkness. We could hardly
see. Then something moved
something slithery and rustled
about. Was it a rat? Arif hung
back scared but I wanted to
see what was in there.
Extra
words have
been
added to
this
sentence
to help it
make more
sense.
LOOKING AT OTHERS’ WORK
WITH YOUR PLANNING COMPLETE
YOU HAVE THIS AND ONE MORE
LESSON TO FINISH YOUR
CHILDHOOD NARRATIVE.
Objectives:
To learn how to use synonyms to
make our writing more interesting
IMPROVING VOCABULARY - SYNONYMS
Synonyms are words that have similar
meanings.
happy cheerful jolly joyful
Choosing synonyms for commonly used words can make our writing much more interesting.
For example:
WRITE DOWN THREE SYNONYMS FOR EACH WORD.
CHOOSE YOUR SYNONYMS FROM THE BOX BELOW.
1.Nice _____ _____ _____
2.Big _____ _____ _____
3.Good _____ _____ _____
4.Sad _____ _____ _____
5.Small _____ _____ _____
6.Hot _____ _____ _____
7.Said _____ _____ _____
8.Old _____ _____ _____
pleasant huge elderly scorching excellent whispered miserable tiny
brilliant lovely ancient little gigantic unhappy burning yelled
miniature enjoyable antique sizzling fed-up announced superb enormous
CHECK YOUR ANSWERS
1.Nice pleasant lovely enjoyable
2.Big huge gigantic enormous
3.Good excellent brilliant superb
4.Sad miserable unhappy fed-up
5.Small tiny little miniature
6.Hot scorching burning sizzling
7.Said whispered yelled announced
8.Old elderly ancient antique
1.It was a nice day.
2.The house was big.
3.Nazia was sad.
4.We went swimming because it was hot.
5.“Please help!” she said.
6. The old house stood on the cliffs.
7. We live in a small village in Wales.
8. Ben scored a good goal at football.
RE-WRITE THE SENTENCES BELOW. USE A SYNONYM TO REPLACE THE WORD
PRINTED IN BOLD AND MAKE BETTER SENTENCES.
SYNONYMS
Remember, synonyms are words that have similar meanings. Use synonyms to make your sentences more varied and interesting.
It was a nice meal.
It was a delicious
meal.
THE DRAFTING
PROCESS
Objectives:
To understand how authors write a number of drafts when constructing a piece of writing and to learn how to draft and redraft to improve your writing
To learn how to use a wider vocabulary for emphasis and effect.
IMPROVING YOUR VOCABULARY
Your writing will not engage the reader if you are not using a wide enough range of vocabulary.
We can rely on words like ‘big’ to describe things when more often than not there are
many better alternatives.
Can you improve the paragraph on the following slide?
IMPROVING LANGUAGE
I walked into the big school building and was really scared. I looked at all the faces around me, looking for a friendly face. Just then a young teacher came up to me and asked me if I was okay. She seemed really nice, her name was Miss Warren.
IMPROVING LANGUAGE
As I crept into the vast school yard my stomach churned like a washing machine on a slow spin. I stared into the sea of identically dressed bodies, desperately searching for a familiar face. “Are you okay?” enquired a warm, friendly voice. I looked up to see a tall, blonde haired lady in her twenties. “I’m Miss Warren,” she said and offered me a reassuring smile. “Maybe I could help.”
WHAT’S THE POINT?
Good point! That’s why redrafting is not about doing the same piece again or just creating a neat version. A properly redrafted piece of writing should be transformed from a rough version into a highly polished final piece.
What’s the point? I’ve already done it, why should I do the same thing again?
REDRAFTING
Did you consider the following?
WHY? HOW?
1. To develop a range of writing skills
2. To improve my vocabulary
3. To achieve a higher level
4. To correct my mistakes
5. To improve my presentation
6. To create the best impression possible
7. To make me a more independent learner
1. Read my work again2. Highlight and correct
spelling, punctuation or grammar errors
3. Check for paragraphing (if necessary)
4. Delete weaknesses5. Add more detail
where necessary6. Use synonyms7. Include similes,
effective verbs and adjectives
When we arrived we went to meet are form teacher. His name is Mr Charles and he is a very nice man. He told us all about the school and gave us a planner and are timetables. He told us to write our timetable in our planners in pencil because…
When we arrived, we were met by a team of smartly dressed Year 11 prefects who organised us into forms before shepherding us to our form rooms. I have been placed in 7G and my form tutor is Mr. Charles. Mr. Charles gave us a warm welcome and …
Can you spot the improvements?
DRAFTING YOUR WORK
Which draft is more effective?
Make sure you re-read your work objectively
Use techniques such as adjectives / verbs / similes
Include your thoughts and feelings
Don’t forget capital letters / full stops / commas / exclamation
marks / colon / semi-colon / apostrophes
When you have finished check your work carefully
Make sure that you paragraph your work
Speech needs to be in speech marks “ ”
If you make a spelling error, put one line through the word
Be as neat as possible
TOP TIPS FOR REDRAFTING
COMPLETED EVERYTHING!!
Complete reading Roald Dahl’s Boy.