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OFF THE RECORDby Blue Sullivan

There are certain records that you may be familiar with. The fastest 100-meter dash, the top speed for a land vehicle and the first breaking of the sound barrier are just three common examples. We may not all know who holds these records, but at least we know these records are out there. Then, of course, there are other records that sit happily outside of the norm. Not only will almost no one know the names of these “famous” record holders, very few people will even be aware that these records exist. Here are a few examples of unusual bests from around the globe. • • Did you know that Chris Elliott and

Tyson Turk of Bedford, Texas, hold the world record for the most body piercings in one session? Three thousand, one hundred piercings were performed in just over six hours, topping the previous best of 1,015 by a couple in the United Kingdom. (It seems some people aren’t happy with a nice pair of earrings any-more.)

• • The record for “Most People Inside of a Bubble” is held by Fan and Deni Yang. The two wowed an audience with their outlandish talent for creating bubbles. As part of this year’s BubbleFest in Santa Ana, California, at the city’s Discovery Science Center, they created a soap bubble so large that they were able to fit 118 people inside it, setting the current world record. The BubbleFest, now in its 16th year, celebrates the science and math principles of bubbles.

Issue #499Of South Denver Metro

...continued on page 2

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Tidbits® of South Denver Metro Issue #499

Musical Jokes...• Note stuck to music shop door: “Gone Chopin - Bach in 3 minuets.” • How do you get a rock guitar player to slow down? Put some sheet music in front of him! • What did the musician say to the tightrope walker? You better C sharp or you’ll B flat! • How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None; they can’t get up that high! • Why are music critics hearts sought after for transplants? They’ve had so little use! • What’s the definition of an optimist? A choral director with a mortgage. • What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer! • How do you get a bass player off your doorstep? Pay for the pizza. • What’s half of a tuba? A one-ba! • What is the difference between an or-chestra and a freight train? A freight train needs a conductor! • What do you get if you drop a piano on an army officers head? ‘A’ flat major! • What’s the definition of a gentle-man? One who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn’t! • What’s the difference between a musician and a mutual fund? The mutual fund eventually matures and earns money.

annals of Croatian T-shirt achievement? Only time will tell.

• • In the annals of “records least likely to exist,” the “Most Nights Spent In A Room Full of Scorpions” record would’ve been pretty close to the top, yet Kanchana Ketkaew of Thailand actually managed it. Ketkaew spent 33 days in the company of 5,320 live scorpions. The room, which was made of glass, was not much larger than a normal office room — about 10 feet wide by 12 feet long. Despite sharing cramped quarters with a swarm of un-friendly crawling roommates, Ketkaew emerged relatively unscathed, getting stung only about 13 times.

• • After a day of exciting-yet-exhausting chair racing, you are bound to want a snack. How about a bite of the cur-rent record holder for “World’s Biggest Cookie,” which weighed in at 40,000 pounds? In 2003, the owners and employees of the Immaculate Baking Company converged to bake a cookie designed to satisfy even the largest of appetites. About a 100 feet in diameter, the cookie was so big that it had to be photographed from 100 feet above just to get it all on camera!

OFF YHE RECORD... (continued)

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• • For Takuo Toda, chairman of the Japan Origami Airplane Association, breaking the “Longest Paper Airplane Flight” record with his time of 27.9 sec-onds was the culmination of an 11-year scientific effort. In April of 2009, Toda finally reached his goal when he turned a sheet of light sugarcane into a 10-cm craft that stayed aloft for almost 30 sec-onds. Toda’s model bore a striking re-semblance to a NASA space shuttle that he recalled watching three decades be-fore, yet Toda claims that his design ac-tually preceded NASA’s by three or four years. In 1980, he began lobbying for a proposal to launch paper darts from the International Space Station, and in 2008, the Japan Aerospace Explora-tion Agency announced a three-year, 90 million yen (over 1.1 million U.S. dollars) study of that very thing. Though it may sound frivolous on its surface, the re-search could yield valuable information on how future spacecraft may be lighter and more aerodynamic. The next time your co-worker teases you for making paper airplanes, tell him you’re doing it for science!

• • American Ashrita Furman presently holds 113 places of distinction within the “Guinness Book of World Records.” Nicknamed “Mr. Versatility,” Furman has set more than 340 records since 1979 in 35 countries on each of the world’s continents. In 2010, he sprinted his way into history with the aid of something generally reserved for the water — a pair of black and blue swim fins. He ran a mile (in fins) in 7 minutes, 56 seconds. In addition to breaking the “eight minute land swim fin mile” (a phrase that we are hoping to popularize), Furman’s accom-plishment made him the current record holder for holding current records (the aforementioned 113).

• • Breaking the “World’s Fastest Furni-ture” record, a lounge chair created by a design group from the United Kingdom was clocked at 87 miles per hour, well over the speed limit on nearly every highway in the world. Couch potatoes with a need for speed need look no fur-ther than the “Casual Lofa” (as its cre-ators Cummfy Banana have deemed it), which has an actual vehicle license with the British Ministry of Transportation. In addition to its plush, leopard-patterned upholstery, the “Lofa” features the same unleaded A-series engine found in the Cooper Mini, along with a steer-ing wheel that doubles as a pizza pan, a hand-operated brake and a throttle that can be operated with the feet up or down. In addition to its performance-driving chair, the company has also built a bed on wheels called the “Street Sleeper” that can go 69 miles per hour and a zooming tub (the “Bog Standard”) that can go 71. They even offer a motor-ized office suite for the more business-minded racing aficionado.

• • For even the least fit or scientifically inclined among us, there is one record potentially within our reach, “Most T-Shirts Worn At Once.” On May 22, 2010, Croatia’s Krunoslav Budiseli bested a former Swedish record holder by wear-ing 245 T-shirts at the same time. The feat took a little less than two hours to complete and ended with the Croatian wearing about 150 pounds (68 kg) worth of T-shirts. Budiseli said things started to become difficult around the 120th shirt, yet he somehow summoned the strength and force of will to don 125 more. Will May 22 live on forever in the

...continued on next column

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¥ On March 18, 1852, in New York City, Henry Wells and William G. Fargo join with several other investors to launch their namesake business. In July 1852, their company shipped its first loads of freight from the East Coast to mining camps scattered around northern California. ¥ On March 17, 1901, paintings by the late Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh are shown in Paris. Van Gogh had committed suicide 11 years earlier without any no-tion that his work was destined to win acclaim beyond his wildest dreams. In his lifetime, he had sold only one painting.¥ On March 14, 1914, stock-car racer Lee Arnold Petty (father of Richard Petty) is born near Randleman, N.C. In 1959, he won the Daytona 500. It’s said that Lee Petty never lost a race on account of being too kind to his competitors, even if his competitors were family. ¥ On March 16, 1926, at Auburn, Mass., American Robert Goddard successfully launches the world’s first liquid-fueled rocket. The 10-foot rocket, fueled by liq-uid oxygen and gasoline, traveled for 2.5 seconds at a speed of about 60 mph, reaching an altitude of 41 feet and landing 184 feet away. ¥ On March 13, 1942, the Quartermaster Corps of the United States Army begins training dogs for the newly established War Dog Program, or “K-9 Corps.” Per-haps the most famous war dog was Rin Tin Tin, an abandoned puppy of German war dogs found in France in 1918 and taken to the United States, where he made his film debut in the 1922 silent film “The Man From Hell’s River.”¥ On March 15, 1954, the Chords record “Sh-boom.” The song’s lighthearted melody and nonsensical lyrics kicked off a new era of “doo-wop” music. Doo-wop hits included “Earth Angel” by the Penguins and “In the Still of the Night” by the Five Satins.¥ On March 12, 1969, the London drug squad appears at the house of George Harrison and Pattie Boyd with a warrant and drug-sniffing canines. Sergeant Pilcher, the man behind the raid, was later convicted of planting drugs in other cases and went to jail in 1972.

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¥ If you like your coffee fresh and strong but not so hot, make a small tray of ice cubes out of coffee to cool your morning cup.¥ “Always dust from the top down. My mom taught me that, since the dust falls and then you vacuum it up at the end. Also, don’t use too much furniture polish, since using a lot can actually attract dust.” -- B.O. in Pennsyl-vania¥ “Keep leftover slices of good meat and veggies in zipper-lock plastic baggies and freeze. When you make canned soups, just add the appropriate bits from your baggie. It really bulks up the soups, and you save money and don’t waste precious food.” -- P.R. in California¥ To calm flyaway tresses, rub ChapStick on your palms and then run your palms over your hair to smooth it.¥ For a great springtime facial, mash up a small can (or a snack-size serving) of peaches in juice. Add to it 2 to 3 tablespoons of granulated sugar and gently massage into skin. Let sit for a minute or two and then rinse with warm water.¥ “Styrofoam peanuts are great for adding to the bottom of plants for drainage. You can usually get some for free if you get packages in the mail. If not, you can ask your local shipping store for a few handfuls, and they are usually quite gracious. Mine is.” -- A.R. in Florida¥ To check for toilet leaks, add a few drops of food coloring to the toilet tank. If, without flushing, you see the bowl water start to change colors, you know you have a leak.Send your tips to Now Here’s a Tip, c/o King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or e-mail JoAnn at [email protected].



‘Minor’ Heart Attacks Can Still be DeadlyDEAR DR. DONOHUE: My husband, 46, died suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack. An autopsy showed that he died from what the doctor said was a minor heart attack. How does a minor heart attack kill? It was major for him and me. -- C.C. ANSWER: The pathologist who performed the autopsy must have found that only a small section of heart was involved, and only a small heart artery was obstructed. Minor heart attacks can lead to major com-plications, including death. They can generate abnormal heartbeats, so abnormal that the heart’s pumping action stops.You have my deepest sympathy.The booklet on heart attacks explains why they happen and how they’re prevented. Readers can order a copy by writing: Dr. Donohue -- No. 102W, Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. Enclose a check or money order (no cash) for $4.75 U.S./$6 Canada with the recipient’s printed name and address. Please al-low four weeks for delivery.***DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I want to get rid of a lot of expired medicines. I have heard that flushing them down the toilet or putting them in the garbage will make them end up in our drinking water. What is the proper solution? -- M.S.ANSWER: Different government agencies have different recommendations for medicine disposal. Con-gress is trying to resolve those differences.First, check with your drugstore to see if it has a program to dispose of medicines; many do. Also check with your town, county or state to see if it has “take-back” programs. Many do.If you can’t find a facility that accepts old medicines, mix them with coffee grounds, sawdust, kitty litter or similar materials (making them less appealing for children or pets to eat), seal them in a plastic bag and put them in your trash. A few drugs ought to be flushed down the toilet or the sink. These drugs are mostly powerful painkillers, like morphine, fentanyl, oxycodone and Demerol. They pose a danger to children, pets and even adults if accidentally ingested. This advice comes from the Food and Drug Administration. You can find the com-plete list at www.fda.gov.***DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I have an ingrown toenail that’s giving me much grief. I’d like to take care of it myself. I’m out of work and have no insurance. Will you give me some directions on what to do? -- H.A.

ANSWER: You can try to handle it on your own, but be careful. Don’t traumatize the toe or skin.Soak your foot in warm, soapy water for 10 minutes. To free the nail from the corner of the skin in which it is imbedded, try to work a small ball of cotton between the nail and the skin. Dental floss hooked under the corner of the skin helps you accomplish this.From this day onward, cut your toenails on a horizontal plane. Don’t round off the edges. That’s an invita-tion to an ingrown toenail.If all of this is a bit overwhelming, let a podiatrist free the nail for you. Make some arrangements for a later payment.***Dr. Donohue regrets that he is unable to answer individual letters, but he will incorporate them in his col-umn whenever possible. Readers may write him or request an order form of available health newsletters at P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475.

(c) 2012 North America Synd., Inc. All Rights Reserved

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Give Your Portfolio a“Spring Cleaning”

Springtime is almost here. If you’re like many people, the arrival of spring means it’s time to spruce up your home. But why stop there? This year, consider applying some of those same spring-cleaning techniques to your investment portfolio.

Here are some ideas you may want to put to work:

Get rid of clutter. You probably don’t have to look too far around your home to find things that are broken or simply no longer useful to you. If you poke around your portfolio, you might make similar discoveries: an investment that has chronically underperformed, duplicates another investment or met your needs in the past but is less relevant to your current situation and goals. Once you identify these types of invest-ments, you may decide to sell them and use the proceeds to take advantage of opportunities that may prove more valuable to you.Consolidate. Over the years, you may have accumulated multiple versions of common household items — brooms, mops, hammers — which pop up mysteriously in various parts of your home. You might find it more efficient, and even less expensive, if you consolidated all these things in one centralized location. As an investor, you also might find that consolida-tion can offer you some benefits. Do you have one Individual Retirement Account (IRA) with one financial services provider and a second IRA with another? Do you have a couple of old 401(k) accounts with former employers? And have you scattered investments here, there and everywhere? By consolidating all these accounts in one place, you can cut down on paperwork, reduce fees and, most importantly, unite your in-vestment dollars so that it’s easier for you to see what you have and then follow a single, coher-ent investment strategy.Prepare for turbulent weather. As you know, springtime can bring heavy rains, hail, strong winds and other threats to your home. As part of your overall spring cleaning, you may want to check the condition of your roof, clear branches away from your house, clean your gutters and downspouts, and take other steps to protect your property from the ravages of Mother Nature. And just as you need to safeguard your home, you’ll want to protect the lifestyles of those who live in that home — namely, your family. You can help accomplish this by reviewing your life and disability insurance to make sure it’s still sufficient for your needs. Get professional help. You may find that you can’t do all your spring cleaning by yourself. For example, if your carpets and rugs are heav-ily soiled, you may need to call in a professional cleaner. Or if your tree branches have grown out of control, you might need to bring in a tree trimmer. Similarly, when you decide to “tidy up” your portfolio, you’ll need some assistance from a financial professional — someone who can study your current mix of investments and

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recommend changes, as needed, to help ensure your holdings are suitable for your risk toler-ance, time horizon and short- and long-term goals.

Spring cleaning can reinvigorate your home and your overall outlook. And by tidying up your investment portfolio, you can help gain some of that same optimism — for your future. This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones Financial Advi-sor.

...continued on next column

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Week of March 12thARIES (March 21 to April 19) Keep an open mind about a suggestion you see as unwork-able. Give it a chance to prove itself one way or another. The results could surprise both sup-porters and detractors.TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) News about an upcoming venture causes you to make some last-minute adjustments in your plans. But the extra work will pay off, as you come to learn more about the potential benefits opening up.GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A more posi-tive aspect grows out of your determination to reach your immediate goals. Continue to keep your focus sharp and on target by steering clear of petty quarrels and other pesky problems.CANCER (June 21 to July 22) By acting as a voice of reason, you can avoid adding to an already turbulent situation. You might have to shout over the tumult, but your words ultimate-ly will be heard and heeded.LEO (July 23 to August 22) The possibility of a new acquisition always makes those Leonine eyes light up. But be careful that what you see is what you want. Appearances can often be deceiving.VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) No mat-ter how much you might feel that you’re in the right, resist saying anything that could reignite a still-unresolved situation. Let the matter drop, and move on.LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Help with a personal problem comes from an unex-pected source. You also find workplace pres-sures easing. Use this period of calm to restore your spent energies.SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You might have to share the credit for that project you’re working on. But there’ll be enough credit to go around, and your efforts will be recognized and rewarded.SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Details need to be dealt with before you can move on to another area. Make sure you don’t leave any loose ends that could later cause everything to unravel.CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) News about a change in the workplace carries with it a challenge you could find difficult to resist. Check it out. It could be what you’ve been waiting for.AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Al-lowing your artistic nature full expression will help restore your spirits and will put you in the mood to take on that new career challenge. A Libra creates excitement.PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Expect to happily plunge right into a hectic social whirl starting at week’s end. Your aspects favor new friendships as well as the strengthening of old relationships.BORN THIS WEEK: Like St. Patrick (who was also born this week), your spiritual strength is an inspiration to others.


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¥ It was 20th-century American direc-tor, screenwriter, playwright and novelist Ben Hecht who made the following sage observation: “Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspa-pers is like trying to tell the time by watch-ing the second hand of a clock.”

¥ If you visualize an image of John Len-non, more likely than not you’ll see him in your mind’s eye wearing a pair of round spectacles. In July of 2007, one pair of those iconic glasses was sold at auction for a whopping $2 million.

¥ There’s nothing terribly surprising about the fact that an animated version of George Orwell’s famed novel “Animal Farm” was produced in the United States in 1954. What made this production un-usual is that the movie rights were bought by, and the film was covertly funded by, the CIA. It was thought that it would be excellent anti-Communist propaganda during the Cold War.

¥ If you’re like 12 percent of American men who are about to get married, you’ll go to a tanning bed before you make that walk down the aisle.

¥ You might be surprised to learn that early automobile magnate Henry Ford was a fan of soy. In the 1940s, the fabric used for the upholstery in some of his cars was made from 25 percent soy. He even owned a soy-based suit of clothing that he would sometimes wear for media events.

¥ The Transportation Security Administra-tion banned cigarette lighters on carry-on luggage between 2005 and 2007. Dur-ing that time, TSA screeners confiscated 22,978 lighters every day. Safe disposal of those lighters cost the taxpayers ap-proximately $4 million every year.***Thought for the Day: “Obstinacy is the re-sult of the will forcing itself into the place of the intellect.” -- Arthur Schopenhauer


By Samantha Weaver

TM

Alternative Medicine Ends Dog’s TormentDEAR PAW’S CORNER: I read with interest your column about the poor dog that was tormented by allergies. Several years ago I adopted a wonderful Border Collie, “Maisie,” from a couple who couldn’t cope with her constant allergies. Blood tests showed she was allergic to tree pollens, weeds and grasses. It broke my heart to see her suffer, and I took her to many veterinarians. She received allergy shots for more than a year, and many times she was given prednisone, which I didn’t like but hoped would help her. One day a new veterinarian recommended a doctor of Chinese medicine nearby. I brought Maisie in and was told almost immediately, “Yes! I can help her. We need to build her immune system.” Within a very short time she was 100 percent better. She lived happily until she was almost 17 years old.I was fortunate to find a veterinarian who was open to alternative treatments. More vets should consider alternative medicine as a way to help pets. -- An Animal Lover in Little-ton, Colo.

DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Thank you for your letter! I’m glad that you were able to allevi-ate Maisie’s suffering and find an effective treatment for her chronic allergies. Every pet’s needs and responses to treatments are a bit different -- especially when using alterna-tive, homeopathic or holistic therapies -- and it can be difficult to find the right combina-tion of medication or therapy. I’m impressed by the amount of patience, love and dili-gence you showed in caring for your dog and getting her the best care possible.

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A couple of enterprising bass players, unwilling to sit through a long, bass-less stretch of Beethoven’s Ninth, sneaked off stage and into the bar next door. Beer flowed; time passed. “Look at the time! We have to get back!” said one. “Relax,” said his partner, “I tied the last few pages of the conductor’s score together with string. It will take him a few minutes to untangle it.” They staggered back into the hall and took their places. About this time, a member of the audience noted that the conductor was breaking a sweat. “Of course,” replied her companion, “It’s the bottom of the Ninth, the score’s tied, and the bassists are loaded!”

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