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TIDBITS® BLOSSOMS THIS SPRING WITH

EASTER TRIVIAby Sarah Bates

Modern Easter is a blending of multiple cul-tures and religions, with roots dating back several millennia! This Spring, Tidbits cel-ebrates some fun facts you might not have known about Easter, spring, chickens, eggs – and yes, even that big, ol’ Easter Bunny.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? • Actually, it was neither. Modern ducks and geese ap-peared in Chi-na 6,000 years before chick-ens appeared in India.Easter Sunday is the 1st Sunday after a • Paschal full moon, which is the first full moon after the Spring equinox and is specifically used to determine the date of Easter. Paschal comes from the Greek pascha, which comes from the Hebrew pesach, both of which mean Passover.Some theorize that the word Easter comes • from the early church, which celebrated hebdomada alba, or “white week” (be-cause of the white baptismal garments at Easter.) The plural of the word white was later misunderstood as the plural for the word dawn, which was translated into Old High German as eostarum, and later be-came Easter in English.

turn the page for more!

Issue #1081March 30, 2009

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been a symbol of rebirth for numerous reli-gions. The egg represents birth, while rab-bits, with their large litters in early Spring, symbolize propensity and fertility – and both are representative of the growth of spring.As for the origins of Easter baskets, one • theory suggests they trace back to early celebrations of the Christian church. After Lent there was a great feast. Foods would be brought to the temple in large baskets, hence the giving of treats in baskets on Easter.The lining of Easter baskets with grass is • said to have originated with the Pennsyl-vania Dutch children waiting for Ostcher Haws. Because he would lay his eggs in a “rabbit’s nest”, these children would set out their caps or bonnets and line them with grass for him.

EASTER TRIVIA (continued) Another theory, that of Benedictine monk • Bede, suggested that the word ‘easter’ comes from the Old English word Eostre, which dates as far back as the 8th cen-tury.Eostre, Eastre, Ostara, Eostur, etc. all re-• fer to the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring, who was celebrated at the spring Equinox. The name probably derives from the word and direction East, which suggests that she might have also been the goddess of dawn.On Western calendars, Easter always falls • on a Sunday within a 35-day period be-tween March 22nd and April 25th.An old wives’ tale says that burying an egg • in the garden will protect against lightning, hail and weevils.Red eggs are used in Eastern Christianity • to symbolize the blood of Christ. Tradition says Mary Magdalene visited Tiberius of Rome to tell him Christ had risen – and to symbolize this, she gave him an egg. Tibe-rius replied that Christ had no more risen than the egg was red – and, according to tradition, the egg immediately turned red in testimony.One of the earliest references to the cel-• ebration of the Christian Easter was in the mid-second century. Even then, it was list-ed as an already well-established holiday.In Eastern Christianity, dairy products are • prohibited during Lent. Eggs are consid-ered a part of this food group, so another symbol of the use of eggs at Easter is the return of eggs to the daily diet of Easter Christians.The Spanish dish hornazo is traditionally • eaten on or around Easter and contains hard-boiled eggs as a main ingredient.In ancient times, the cross was a symbol • of the four elements or directions. Crosses that run diagonally, like an X, are called a saltire.The Easter Egg Roll (not the food) is an • annual White House tradition that dates back to President Rutherford B. Hayes, when he opened the White House Lawn to Easter egg rolling in 1878.The cracking together of two Easter eggs • is said to symbolize the cracking of the tomb in the resurrection of Christ.Modern egg decorating is said to have • originated from ancient Persia and the fes-tival Nowruz, which celebrates the spring equinox. One Nowruz tradition involves the painting of eggs. This holiday also marks the first day of the Iranian New Year.One fun Easter game is the tapping of • eggs. Players take turns tapping their eggs against the egg of another player. The last

player with an intact egg wins.In some cultures, colored eggs are said • to represent the return of spring because their bright colors represent the sun or the Northern lights.In some parts of the world, it is custom-• ary to prepare baked goods in the shape of a lamb at Easter. The lamb is both an ancient pagan and a Christian symbol for spring and Easter. It represents the newness of life and spring, and it also represents the “Lamb of God.”The century egg is a Chinese delica-• cy. While they aren’t literally one hun-dred years old, the eggs are cured and preserved over the course of several weeks. The Easter bunny, or Oschter Haws, first • came to America on the lips of German immigrants in the 18th century.The use of a • bunny or rabbit as a symbol of Easter is said to have origi-nated in Ger-many around the 1500s.You can’t think • of an egg with-out Fabergé eggs coming to mind. A true fabergé egg is one of the sixty-nine jew-eled eggs created by Carl Fabergé and his assistants around the turn of the 20th century. Fabergé presented fifty of the eggs to • Tsar Alexander III and Nicholas II of Russia. Alexander III commissioned the first egg for his wife, Maria Fyodorovna, grandmother of “Princess” Anastasia.Only sixty-one of the original fabergé • eggs have survived to present day.Early Christians celebrated Easter on • the 14th day of Nisan, which was the day of preparation for Passover.The egg, along with rabbits, has long •

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On • April 3, 1776, because it lacked sufficient funds to build a strong navy, the Continental Congress gives privateers permission to attack any and all British ships, except for those vessels bringing arms and ammunition or people who intended to settle in the Colonies.

On • April 1, 1924, Nazi Party leader Adolf Hitler is sentenced to five years in prison for treason for leading the Nazis’ unsuccessful “Beer Hall Putsch.” Sent to Landsberg jail, he spent his time dictating his autobiography, “Mein Kampf,” and was released after nine months.

On • April 31, 1930, the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America formally adopt the Production Code, which imposed strict guidelines on the portrayal of illegal drug trafficking, profanity, the portrayal of clergy members as comic characters or villains, and the portrayal of interracial relationships.

On • April 30, 1947, Preston Tucker announces his concept for a new automobile to be named the “Tucker.” His plans called for a rear-mounted engine as powerful as an aircraft motor, a stationary “cyclops” headlight and a steering wheel placed in the center of the car.

On • April 5, 1951, at the end of a highly publicized espionage case, death sentences are imposed against Julius and Ethel Rosenberg after they were found guilty of conspiring to transmit atomic secrets to the Soviet Union. The only incriminating evidence came from a confessed spy who was given a reduced sentence to testify against them.

On • April 4, 1969, the most popular show on TV, “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour,” is canceled by CBS because the brothers failed to submit an episode to network executives before its broadcast. Among other controversial content in the show, the network executives objected to antiwar guests, including Pete Seeger, who sang a Vietnam protest song on the air.

On • April 2, 1987, the United States government allows individual states to increase the speed limit on rural roads from 55 mph to 65 mph. Since 1973, when President Richard Nixon set a federal maximum speed limit of 55 mph, no cars were allowed to exceed this speed.

(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.

1. LANGUAGE: What does the Greek prefix “chrono” mean?2. PHILOSOPHY: What was the nationality of the physician and philosopher Avicenna, who greatly influenced medieval thought?3. LITERATURE: Which Southern author wrote “The Optimist’s Daughter”?4. SCIENCE: Who developed the Uncertainty Principle in quantum physics?5. ASTRONOMY: How many days does it take for the planet Mercury to orbit the Sun?6. CARTOONS: What was the first name of the nearsighted Mr. Magoo?7. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What does a misologist oppose?8. PUBLISHING: In what year did the magazine National Lampoon launch?9. GEOGRAPHY: What was the Spanish Main?10. MOVIES: Which silent movie actress was known as “The Vamp”?

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REAL CHANGE: IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANTAdapted from twoofus.org

(Part 1 of 2)Many of us want our partners to be perfect; it’s the stuff that dreams are made of. At fi rst, it seems as if everything is just right, then reality sets in. You realize your partner is not fl aw-less, and you want to change some things about them. It isn’t easy to change. You may think you’re just the right infl uence to change your partner, and it may be possible, but it is rare. Good habits like eating well, exercising, cleaning, visiting grandma, and volunteer-ing may rub off on your partner and become activities you enjoy together, but progress-ing in a relationship with the expectation that your partner will change can be dangerous.There are many stages involved in mak-ing changes. Changing a behavior or habit takes time, consistency, and recognition. People can promise to change, and some are even able to change for a short time, but real change takes effort. You have to be committed to changing for yourself be-cause it’s diffi cult to do it for someone else. Tackling ChangeOne of the biggest challenges for couples is learning to live with your partner’s annoying habits. This person may be the love of your life, but they’re also human. Before you try to change your partner, ask yourself why you want them to change. Remember that your way isn’t always the right way and try to iden-tify what is really bothering you. Is it that you just can’t stand it when the mail piles up, or is it your partner’s job to manage the household fi nances and you feel that not opening the mail is neglecting his/her family responsibilities? When you sit down to talk with your partner, you may have more success if your request benefi ts them (stop smoking) or improves the life of your family (curb unnecessary spend-ing) rather than saves you from future annoy-ances over things like nagging or replacing the toilet paper. So take the time to think about why you want to see this change happen.Can You Really Change a Person?Any change in your lifestyle, from some-thing as simple as putting clothes in the hamper to something as challenging as los-ing weight, requires you to want to change for yourself. It doesn’t mean your part-ner doesn’t love you if he or she cannot make what you consider a “simple” change.Remember that compromise and negotiation are important skills for couples. You need to be able to talk about why the change is impor-tant to each of you. You may need to agree on steps to take toward change or develop a plan where each partner is committed to making a change happen in the relationship.Model the willingness to change. Talk to your partner about what you do that bothers him/her, and commit to making that change your-self. If you show a willingness to invest in your relationship by changing the way you do something, your partner may do the same.Read Part 2 in Next week’s WeddingBits!

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EventsMicroChip Your Cat - FREE: September 2008 - September 2009 (as long as supplies last); Various veterinary hospitals and clinics across the metro area. 150,000 cats metro-wide will receive free microchips! Visit www.ChipYourCat.com for details.Cinco de Mayo Celebrate Culture Festival - May 9, 2009 - May 10, 2009, Saturday and Sunday 10:00 am - 8:00 pm, Civic Center Park, Denver. FREE. Spice up your weekend and head to Civic Center Park for the largest Cinco de Mayo celebration in the United States! Mexican culture fills the park with arts and crafts , strolling Mariachi bands, colorfully costumed Aztec dancers, several stages featuring traditional and contemporary Latino entertainment and a variety of Mexican culinary delights! www.CincoDeMayoDenver.comBikers Against Diabetes: May 17, 2009; Fraternal Order of Eagles, 1151 S Galena St, Denver. $20 Single/$10 Passenger (includes Lunch) Benefits Children’s Hospital Diabetes Research. www.EagleRiders3224.com or call (303) 695-0673.Fuel-Fest: June 12, 2009, - June 14, 2009, May Farms, Byers. A bold new Western festival that merges astonishing music and family entertainment with an extraordinary marketplace of clean technologies and educational workshops. A grand new event showcasing Colorado’s national leadership in shaping a new energy future. Presented by May Farms in partnership with: The US Department of Energy’s National Renewable Energy Laboratory, Colorado Governor’s Energy Office and the Colorado Department of Agriculture. Music, workshops, market place and expo, hands-on interactive educational activities for kids - such as kite flying - as well as a healthy mix of barnyard fun - hayrides and a petting zoo. For More information - www.Fuel-Fest.org.Parker Country Festival: June 12, 2009 - June 14, 2009; Town of Parker, Main Street. FREE Admission - Individual activies such as carnival rides will have costs. Carnival, 150 arts and craft/Commercial vendors, kids’ activities, two stages of free entertainment and a parade. Friday 5:00 pm - 11:00 pm. Saturdy 9:00 am - 11:00 pm. Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00 pm. www.ParkerOnLine.orgJazz Aspen Snowmass Festival: June 18, 2009 - June 28, 2009; Snowmass Village Resort, Snowmass Colorado. Ticket Information to be announced. NEW VENUE! Show Times To Be Announced. Music, Food, Friends and Fun. The festival will showcase multiple performances featuring this year’s brilliant group of JAS Academy artists at a variety of clubs. www.SnowmassVillage.comCoolest Car Show: July 4, 2009; 10:00 am - 4:00 pm. Downtown Estes Park, between West Elkhorn Ave and Moraine Ave, Estes Park Colorado. Ticket Information - $4 Adult, $2 children and students, FREE under 6 yrs old, OR BRING THE FAMILY FOR JUST $10! Proceeds benefit the Estes Park Museum. The Coolest Car Show will feature over 100 vintage vehicles from the 1920s and beyond. Car show will take place in Bond Park and throughout the Downtown area. Close up inspection of the cars is encouraged! Information and to register your car: www.EstesParkcvb.com

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Free EventsBus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.comChildren’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.orgColorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-279-4591CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.orgDenver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am-5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.orgDenver Botanic Gardens - Free day: First Friday of each month, 9am-5pm 1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.orgDenver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Sun Apr 19, Sun May 31, Wed Jun 10, Mon Jul 13, Wed Aug 12, Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.orgFirehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.orgU.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov

SportsColorado Avalanche - NHLAvalanche hosts Coyotes: Wed Apr 1, 7:00 pmCanucks host Avalanche: Sun Apr 5, 8:00 pmSharks host Avalanche: Tue Apr 7, 8:30 pmAvalanche hosts Stars: Thu Apr 9, 7:00 pmAvalanche hosts Canucks: Sat Apr 11, 1:00 pmAvalanche hosts Blues: Sun Apr 12, 3:00 pmDenver Nuggets - NBANuggets host New York: Tue Mar 31, 7:00 pmNuggets host Utah: Thu Apr 2, 8:30 pmNuggets host Clippers: Sat Apr 4, 7:00 pmMinnesota hosts Nuggets: Sun Apr 5, 5:00 pmNuggets host Oklahoma City: Wed Apr 8, 7 pmLakers host Nuggets: Thu Apr 9, 8:30 pmNuggets host Sacramento: Mon Apr 13, 7 pmPortland hosts Nuggets: Wed Apr 15, 8:30 pmColorado Mammoth - Natl Lacrosse LeagueMammoth host Rochester: Fri Apr 3, 7:00 pmPortland hosts Mammoth: Sat Apr 4, 8:30 pmMammoth host San Jose: Sat Apr 11, 7:00 pmMammoth host Edmonton, Fri Apr 17, 7:00 pmColorado Rockies - Major League Baseball

SPRING TRAININGRockies host Arizona: Mon Mar 30, 2:10 pmWhite Socks host Rockies: Tue Mar 31, 2:05pmKansas City hosts Rockies: Wed Apr 1, 2:05pmArizona hosts Rockies: Thu Apr 2, 1:05 pmSeattle hosts Rockies: Fri Apr 3, 8:05 pmRockies host Seattle: Sat Apr 4, 1:10 pm

SEASON OPENERArizona hosts Rockies Mon Apr 6, 1:40 pm, Tue Apr 7, 7:40 pm and Wed Apr 8 1:40 pmRockies host Philadelphia: Fri Apr 9,10, 2:10 pm, Sat Apr 11, 6:10 pm and Sun Apr 12, 1:10 pmChicago hosts Rockies: Mon Apr 13, 12:20 pm and Wed Apr 15, 12:20 pm Colorado Rapids - Major League SoccerLos Angeles hosts Rapids: Sat Apr 4, 8:30 pmColumbus hosts Rapids: Sat Apr 11, 5:30 pmHouston hosts Rapids: Sun Apr 19, 1:00 pm

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Admit it – you’ve walked into model homes not with the intent of buying a new home but to dream of possibilities and get ideas to spruce up your current home: especially the furniture. Show homes seem to have wonderfully rich furniture that makes you feel good. What if I were to tell you that you could get that same furniture in your own home – for 40 – 60% LESS than what you would pay at a “quality furniture store”?I know, it sounds too good to be true; but it is true.Lynn Metzer, owner of CCH Furniture Direct, assures you that his claim is genuine. “At CCH Furniture Direct, it is our goal to provide you with personal service, quality bedding and home furnishings, and peace of mind that you are getting the best price on the products you desire.” Mr. Metzer encourages you to by-pass the over-priced stores and shop wholesale.How can CCH Furniture Direct offer you quality, name brand furniture and bedding at a fraction of the cost? Quite simple – they are not open to the general public like a regular store.STOP RIGHT THERE!

Not open to the general public? Then why am I telling you about this fantastic deal? No – there are no membership fees – all you have to do is make an appointment. It’s as simple as that. By serving customers on an appointment basis, CCH Furniture Direct is able to keep overhead down and pass those cost savings on to YOU – the customer! So now you’re intrigued and would like to know what can be found at CCH Furniture Direct – you can find bedroom furniture made from a wide range of woods and metals. You will find bed frames, dressers, armoires, chest of drawers, mirrors, side tables – everything you need to dress your bedroom. CCH Furniture Direct also has a complete assortment of guest room furniture to include hide a beds and futons. And don’t forget their wide range of mattresses including Simmons Beautyrest! See the front page classified for mattress specials!And let’s not forget the Living Room.CCH offers a selection of living room sets that feature solid oak hardwood frames with lifetime warranties. You will not find any press board or corrugated paper in their fine sofas like you will at some of those national furniture chains. CCH Furniture Direct has top quality, top of the line Italian Leather sets for

prices unheard of. You can purchase a bedroom set by famed Michael Armini, normally priced at $23,000 for less than $8,000 – now that’s REAL SAVINGS!If you are looking for entertainment pieces, CCH Furniture Direct has what you are looking for. Dining sets? Look no further! CCH Furniture Direct has formal and informal dining sets and pieces. Make your living space reflect your personality – not your bank account! When you purchase a sofa or set, you want your investment to last. Mr. Metzer invites you to browse the CCH Furniture Direct website: www.CCHFurniture.com to familiarize yourself with all the warehouse provides you. Then, if you like what you see – and you will – call (303) 758-1312 to set your appointment.

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President Abraham Lincoln’s widow, • Mary Todd Lincoln, did not attend her husband’s funeral.It was Nobel Prize-winning French poet, • journalist and novelist Anatole France who gave the following sage advice: “Never lend books -- nobody ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are those which people have lent me.”Have you ever had your IQ tested? If not, • I’m sure you’ve wondered how your in-telligence would rate on that well-known scale. Famed theoretical physicist Albert Einstein had an IQ of 160. The highest recorded IQ is 210, with those brains belonging to a Korean named Kim Ung-Yong.There are so many Swedes and people • of Swedish descent in Minnesota that the Scandinavian country created a holiday for them: Sweden celebrates Minnesota Day every Aug. 12.There are 147,000 identified species of • moth.If you’re visiting San Luis Obispo Coun-• ty in California and want to check out a book at the local library, you’d better be sure to take a shower first. It’s legal there for library officials to kick out anyone who is deemed to have offensive body odor.American bank robber Pretty Boy Floyd • got his start in crime early, robbing a gro-cery store at the tender age of 14.In the Eastern European country of Be-• larus, the names of the months can be quite descriptive. Their word for February, for example, means “angry month,” April is “beautiful month,” June is “red month,” September is “blooming month” (which seems odd, since most things bloom in the spring), October is “fires month” and November is “falling leaves month.”

Thought for the Day: “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.” -- Dave Barry

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A blind man and his guide dog enter a Bar and find their way to a bar stool. Af-ter ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6’ tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in ka-rate. What’s more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’s a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mis-ter. You still wanna tell that joke?”The blind guy thinks a moment and says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. She got to one little girl who was working diligently and asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m draw-ing God.”The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her draw-ing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven where they discovered the most beautiful golf course they’d ever seen. St. Peter welcomes them to play the course and he cautions them that there is only one rule: Don’t hit the ducks.One of them asks “The ducks?” “Yes,” St. Peter replies, “There are millions of ducks walk-ing around the course. If one gets hit, he squawks, soon they’re all squawkin and it really breaks the tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you’ll be punished, otherwise, en-joy.” Shortly, one of the guys hit a duck. The duck squawked, the one next to it squawked and soon there was a deafening roar of duck quacks. St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and asked “Who hit the duck?” The man admitted his guilt and immediately St. Peter pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man to the woman. “Now you’ll be handcuffed together for eternity.” The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were as deafening as before and within minutes St. Peter walked up with an even uglier woman than before. St. Peter determined which one had hit the duck, and

cuffed the man’s right hand to the homely woman’s left hand. “I told you not to hit the ducks,” he said. “Now you’ll be handcuffed together for eternity.” The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn’t even move for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months of this he still hadn’t hit a duck. St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of the three months and had with him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled to the man and then, with-out a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off. The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said “What have I done to deserve this?”The woman responded “I don’t know about you, but I hit a duck.”A father was helping one of his little twins say his evening prayers. “Bless us to be good so we can return unto Thee.”The son repeated, “Bless us to be good so we can turn on the TV.”

By Samantha Weaver


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Tips On Love - By KidsWhat do most people do on a date?

Dates are for having fun, and people • should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8On the first date, they just tell each • other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10

What is the right age to get married?Twenty-three is the best age because • you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10No age is good to get married at. • You got to be a fool to get married. -- Freddie, age 6

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

You might have to guess, based on • whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8

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Laugh Lines!

100’s of bank-owned homes now available at unbelievable • prices. I know where they are and will show you how to find them. with the Home Buyers Scouting Report!You want to be sure the price is fair, I know the market and • will advise you at no out of pocket expense to you.You want the best terms you can get. I have the experience • of over 200 transactions to aggressively represent you.New home builders are also making deals and I’m not afraid • to ask for deep discounts for my qualified buyers.You have a home to sell? First explore all the options. There • is more than one approach that could make you some real

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have in common?Both don’t want any more kids. -- Lori, • age 8

How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?

There sure would be a lot of kids to • explain, wouldn’t there? -- Kelvin, age 8

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

I’d run home and play dead. The next • day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig, age 9

When is it OK to kiss someone?The law says you have to be eighteen, • so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. -- Curt, age 7The rule goes like this: If you kiss • someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?It’s better for girls to be single but not • for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9

How would you make a marriage work?Tell your wife that she looks pretty even • if she looks like a truck. -- Ricky, age 10

How do you decide who to marry?You got to find somebody who likes • the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

tidbits - denver metro area - issue #1081

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