t&i aug 2013 150dpi

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No. 1/8/13 * August 2013 * MONTHLYTel: 656 427 467 * www.tipsandinfogc.com * [email protected]

Designer Cakes, Sweets & SavouriesOrders by , WhatsApp or in the shop

Tulip Roundabout, San FernandoNicola Gordon – Tel: 622 014 272

[email protected] under construction

YOUR IPTV SUPPLIER

Computer Service ISP S.LC.C Ancora, Local 134–135

35120 Arguineguin

Tel: +34 828 244 377

[email protected]

65 BritishTV channels

The box costs a total of 299€and you can choose between

3, 6 or 9 monthsaccess to channels

71 Scandinavian &18 British TV channels

The IPTV box needs an ADSL internetconnection to function and a minimumof 3 months access to channels

The IPTV box needs an ADSL internetconnection to function and a minimumof 3 months access to channels

The box costs a total of 299€and you can choose between

3, 6 or 9 monthsaccess to channels

3

All types of sewing work fromfixing a zip to

upholstering a sofa.For curtains, throws, cushions,blinds, upholstery, dressmaking,

alterations call

PINSPINSPINSPINSPINS&&&&&

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ROYAL ACADEMY OF LANGUAGES

El Tablero: C/. Rio de Janeiro 19 · Vecindario: C/. Fernando Guanarteme 16

Spanish - German - French - EnglishINDIVIDUAL & GROUP CLASSES AVAILABLE

Translation services · Written translationsNIE & Residencia help · Police reports etc.

Call for more Info928 149 074

10 week Spanish & German courses.Limited places – reserve today!

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Royal Academy GC

BRITISH MEDICAL CLINICDR PAUL BERESFORD-JONES

The ONLY British Doctor on the Islandwww.britishmedicalclinic.com

Puerto Rico · Bungalows Martinica 19

Tel: (0034) 928 56 00 16 · Phone lines open: Mon – Fri 8.30am – 5.30pm

SLIP ON A T-SHIRT, SLAP ON THESUNCREAM, SLAP ON A HAT

Clinic Hours: Mon – Fri 9am – 1.30pmTue and Thu 4pm – 5.30pm

Shop in Calle Domingo Suarez, Arguineguin,near the market sqare

Liquid refills available in BELLISIMA, San Fernandoand in FusionFusionFusionFusionFusion, Arguineguin.

Tel: +34 653 440 246Follow us on Officine Svapo Gran Canaria

www.officinesvapo.it — [email protected]

4

C.C. Euro Centre, Local 37 – Open 1pm till 6pm Monday to Friday

LUXURY VILLA WITH HELIPADOne of the most exclusive areas of the island, the

"MONTE LEÓN".Wonderful landscape in absolute silence, and only 15minutes away from Maspalomas and Playa del Inglés.

1,322m² built850m² living space15,548m² plot

The villa offers:• 5 bedrooms• 5 bathrooms• Lounge with living/dining area• Designer Pool• Helipad• Kitchen• Double garage• Office• Fitness areas

Drastically Reduced! Now available for €2,699,000

www.houseingrancanaria.com

(+34) 645 952 952The Energy Efficiency Certificatefor this property is in procedure

FUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNYWhile the C-5 was turning over itsengines, a female crewman gave theG.I’s on board the usual informationregarding seat belts, emergencyexits, etc.

Finally, she said, 'Now sit back andenjoy your trip while your captain,Judith Campbell, and crew take yousafely to Afghanistan.'

An old MSgt. sitting in the eighth rowthought to himself, 'Did I hear herright? Is the captain a woman?'

When the attendant came by he said'Did I understand you right? Is thecaptain a woman?'

'Yes,' said the attendant, 'In fact, thisentire crew is female.'

'My God,' he said, 'I wish I had twodouble scotch and sodas. I don'tknow what to think with only womenup there in the cockpit.'

'That's another thing, Sergeant,' saidthe crew member, 'We no longer callit the cockpit. - It's The Box Office.'

5

AIR CONDITIONING AND REFRIGERATOR TECHNICIANInstallation of air conditioning / heating.Repairs and maintenance to freezers,

fridges, cooling systems for bars,restaurants, hotels & industrial plants.

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SEE OURSPECIAL OFFERS

ON PAGE 11

FUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNYA doctor in Dublin wanted to get offwork to go fishing, so he approachedhis assistant.

"Murphy, I am going fishingtomorrow and don't want to closethe clinic. I want you to take care ofthe clinic and take care of all mepatients".

"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returnsthe following day and asks:"So,Murphy, how was your day?"

Murphy told him that he took care ofthree patients. "The first one had aheadache so he did, so I gave himParacetamol."

"Bravo Murphy lad, and the secondone?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had indigestion andI gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir"says Murphy.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at thisand what about the third one?" asksthe doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly

the door flies open and a younggorgeous woman bursts in so shedoes.

Like a bolt outta the blue, she tearsoff her clothes, taking off everythingincluding her bra and her panties andlies down on the table, spreading herlegs and shouts: 'HELP ME for thelove of St Patrick! For five years Ihave not seen any man!'"

"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, whatdid you do?" asks the doctor.

"I put drops in her eyes."

6

PROPERTY FOR RENTPROPERTY FOR RENTPROPERTY FOR RENTPROPERTY FOR RENTPROPERTY FOR RENT· Puerto Rico:Puerto Rico:Puerto Rico:Puerto Rico:Puerto Rico: Tenant required inLas Fresas. €300 per monthincluding bills. Own bedroom.References needed, deposit required.Please telephone Jane 649 930 748649 930 748649 930 748649 930 748649 930 748from noon till 4pm

· Playa del InglesPlaya del InglesPlaya del InglesPlaya del InglesPlaya del Ingles: 1-bedroombungalow in small complex nearKasbah / Yumbo. €600 incl bills + 1month deposit + 1 month agents fees.Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· San Fernando / Vista CumbreSan Fernando / Vista CumbreSan Fernando / Vista CumbreSan Fernando / Vista CumbreSan Fernando / Vista Cumbre:3-bedroom flat, 2 bathrooms,separate kitchen, solana, living/diningroom, washing machine. $750/month+ $750 deposit + agents fees. Or rentin advance for 6 months $650/month. Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· MaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomas: Nice, refurbishedbungalows in Maspalomas, CampoInternational. Two floors, comprisesterrace, living room-kitchen, toilet,bedroom and bathroom. $500/month incl bills + $500 deposit + €500agents fees. Available fromSeptember. Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· Pasito Blanco / MarinaPasito Blanco / MarinaPasito Blanco / MarinaPasito Blanco / MarinaPasito Blanco / Marina: 2 duplexavailable with 2 bedrooms, terraceand balcony. Furnished $950,unfurnished $900 plus bills. 1 monthdeposit + 1 month agents fees.Working contract / proof of incomerequired. Available from September.Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· Pasito Blanco/MarinaPasito Blanco/MarinaPasito Blanco/MarinaPasito Blanco/MarinaPasito Blanco/Marina: furnishedduplex available with 3 bedrooms,terrace and balcony. $1,100 plus bills.1 month deposit + 1 month agentsfees. Working contract / proof ofincome required. Available fromSeptember. Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· Pasito Blanco/MarinaPasito Blanco/MarinaPasito Blanco/MarinaPasito Blanco/MarinaPasito Blanco/Marina:Magnificent bungalow, fully furnished,with communal pool and 2 minuteswalk from the beach and the marina.Located in a gated community, thisbeautiful bungalow 140 m2 on twofloors consists of 3 bedrooms (oneen suite), a spacious lounge, a fullyequipped kitchen with dining room,additional bathroom, 2 terraces, agarden of 30 m2 with automaticirrigation system. The house is verybright, furnished and comes with all

appliances (washing machine, dryer,stove, dishwasher, refrigerator nofrost,etc.), air conditioning cold/warm, electric awnings, wifi, etc. 24hsecurity guard.

Rental price: €800 - €1200/week(depending on the season).

Long term: €1800€/month + 1 monthdeposit + 1 month agents fees. Proofof income required. Available fromSeptember. Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· MaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomas: Bungalow with1bedroom terrace, living room withAmerican style kitchen, large poolarea, tennis, squash, gym. $252/weekor long term $550/month incl. bills,+ 1 month deposit + 1 month agentsfees. Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

PROPERTY WANTEDPROPERTY WANTEDPROPERTY WANTEDPROPERTY WANTEDPROPERTY WANTEDTO RENTTO RENTTO RENTTO RENTTO RENT

· Urgently needed for a waitingUrgently needed for a waitingUrgently needed for a waitingUrgently needed for a waitingUrgently needed for a waitingclientsclientsclientsclientsclients: unfurnished house withmin. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms,garage or parking on the premesis,large modern kitchen. In the areabetween San Agustin and Meloneras.

Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· All over the SouthAll over the SouthAll over the SouthAll over the SouthAll over the South: Qualityproperties wanted to rent for waitingclients. Tel 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

FUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNY

The manager of a large office noticeda new man one day and told him tocome into his office.

"What is your name?" was the firstthing the manager asked the newguy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look, I don'tknow what kind of a mamby-pambyplace you worked at before, but Idon't call anyone by their first name.

It breeds familiarity and that leads toa breakdown in authority. I refer tomy employees by their last name only- Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. Iam to be referred to only as Mr.Robertson. Now that we got thatstraight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said,"Darling. My name is John Darling."

"Okay then, John, the next thing Iwant to tell you is..."

☺Since more and more Seniors are

texting there appears to be a need

for a STC (Senior Texting Code).

If you qualify for Senior Discounts

this is the code for you.

Please pass this on to your Children

and Grandchildren so they can

understand your texts.

ATD: At The Doctor's

BFF: Best Friend Farted

BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare

CGU: Can't Get Up

CUATSC: See You At The Senior

Center

DWI: Driving While Incontinent

FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

FYI: Found Your Insulin

GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery

Low!

GHA: Got Heartburn Again

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL: Living On Lipitor

LWO: Lawrence Welk's On

OMMR: On My Massage Recliner

OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.

PIMP: Pooped In My Pants

ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor

Laughing... Can't Get Up

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop

TTYL: Talk To You Louder

WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again

WTP: Where's The Prunes?

WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

GLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In

7

Candles & MoreCandles & MoreCandles & MoreCandles & MoreCandles & MoreIf you like Candles, you will love

Candles & MoreCandles & MoreCandles & MoreCandles & MoreCandles & More

Ancora Centre no.79, Arguineguin – 2nd level – turn left at Lady M & Mr M.

Telephone: 638 946 178Candles & More - AncoraEmail: [email protected]

Summer opening hours until September:Saturdays from 10am till 3pm

CLEARANCE SALE!LARGE CANDLES HALF PRICE

SEE OURSPECIAL OFFERS

ON PAGE 11

FUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNYA woman is enjoying a good gameof bridge with her girlfriends oneevening. "Oh no! I have to rushhome and fix dinner for my husband!He's going to really ticked if it's notready on time."

When she gets home, she realizesshe doesn't have enough time to goto the supermarket, and all she hasin the cupboard is a wilted lettuceleaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. Ina panic, she opens the can of catfood, stirs in the egg, and garnishesit with the lettuce leaf just as herhusband is pulling up.

She greets her husband and thenwatches in horror as he sits down tohis dinner. To her surprise, thehusband is really enjoying his dinner."Darling, this is the best dinner youhave made for me in forty years ofmarriage. You can make this for meany old day."

Needless to say, every bridge nightfrom then on, the woman made herhusband the same dish. She told herbridge cronies about it and they were

all horrified. "You're going to kill him!"they exclaimed.

Two months later, her husband died.The women were sitting around thetable playing bridge when one of thecronies said, "You killed him! We toldyou that feeding him that cat foodevery week would do him in! Howcan you just sit there so calmly andplay bridge knowing you murderedyour husband?"

The wife stoically replied, "I didn't killhim. He fell off the mantel while hewas licking his paws."

☺This english bloke arrived on GranCanaria at the height of the touristseason, and decided to revisit a busyrestaurant on the boulevard he'denjoyed on a previous trip to theresort. Finally catching the eye of anoverworked waiter, he said, "Youknow, it's been over five years sinceI first came in here."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait yourturn sir," replied the waiter, "I can onlyserve one table at a time."

8

PROPERTY FOR SALEPROPERTY FOR SALEPROPERTY FOR SALEPROPERTY FOR SALEPROPERTY FOR SALE· Las Palmas - Las CanterasLas Palmas - Las CanterasLas Palmas - Las CanterasLas Palmas - Las CanterasLas Palmas - Las Canteras:1 to 3 bedroom apartments, right onthe beach, seperate kitchen, balcony,elevator, garage with extra charge, 48- 98m2, from $119,000. Contact0034 609 196 3270034 609 196 3270034 609 196 3270034 609 196 3270034 609 196 327

· Beautiful traditional style fincaBeautiful traditional style fincaBeautiful traditional style fincaBeautiful traditional style fincaBeautiful traditional style fincanear Telde. This spectacular countryhouse has 4 bedrooms and 2bathrooms on the upper floor andon the ground floor there is amagnificent mahogany kitchen andmatching dining room, as well as aspacious living room and a bathroom.There is also a separate apartmentwith a kitchen, toilet, studio and livingroom. There is just over 10,000m² offertile land with its own watering systemincluding a tank of over 500,000 litres.There are 463 fruit trees of variousvarieties including orange, lemon,avocado, mango, fig, grapefruit,guava, banana etc. This is a fullyworking finca producing approx.46,000kg of fruit per year, which wouldmake an excellent business on its own.The main house would make an idealcountry club, wellness centre, B & Betc – or of course a fabulous familyhome. It is located near Telde, only 10minutes from the airport, 10 minutesfrom Las Palmas and only 5 minutesfrom the nearest supermarkets, townhall & hospitals. This property has anofficial valuation of $1,800,000. Price:$1,170,000. For more information ora viewing please call 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· Playa del InglésPlaya del InglésPlaya del InglésPlaya del InglésPlaya del Inglés: 1-bedroomapartment in popular complex.$66,500. Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· Playa del InglésPlaya del InglésPlaya del InglésPlaya del InglésPlaya del Inglés: Renovated 1-bedroom apartment in a complex withvarious pools and tennis court. About300mtrs from the beach. $95,000.Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· MaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomas: Nice, refurbishedbungalows in Maspalomas, CampoInternational. Two floors, comprisesterrace, living room-kitchen, toilet,bedroom and bathroom. $104,000.Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· Los CaiderosLos CaiderosLos CaiderosLos CaiderosLos Caideros: apartment, largeliving area, 2 double bedrooms, 1bath, separate kitchen, terrace with

magnificent sea views. Fully furnished- $198,500 / unfurnished - pricenegotiable. Tel: 638 946 178638 946 178638 946 178638 946 178638 946 178

· Bahia FelizBahia FelizBahia FelizBahia FelizBahia Feliz: 3 bedroom house atthe promenade. Living/dining room,kitchen, 2 bathrooms, 1 guest toilet.Terrace, garden with direct access tothe promenade, balcony, car port.$494,000. Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· MaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomasMaspalomas: Various bungalowsin a quiet complex available. 1bedroom, living room / kitchen,bathroom, terrace, communityswimming pool. $89,000. Tel. 645645645645645952 952952 952952 952952 952952 952


· Montaña la DataMontaña la DataMontaña la DataMontaña la DataMontaña la Data: House with 4bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, separatekitchen, living room, utility room,laundry room, terrace & garden, roofterrace, garage for 2 cars.Uninterrupted sea views.

Tel. 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952


PROPERTY WANTEDPROPERTY WANTEDPROPERTY WANTEDPROPERTY WANTEDPROPERTY WANTEDTO BUYTO BUYTO BUYTO BUYTO BUY

· Desperate Desperate Desperate Desperate Desperate to sell your property?We have investors ready to buy atbargain prices! Call 645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

· All over the SouthAll over the SouthAll over the SouthAll over the SouthAll over the South: Propertieswanted to buy for waiting clients. TTTTTelelelelel645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952645 952 952

PLEASE NOTEPLEASE NOTEPLEASE NOTEPLEASE NOTEPLEASE NOTEAll the advertised propertiesAll the advertised propertiesAll the advertised propertiesAll the advertised propertiesAll the advertised propertieswill be issued with thewill be issued with thewill be issued with thewill be issued with thewill be issued with therequired energy certificate!required energy certificate!required energy certificate!required energy certificate!required energy certificate!

SERVICESSERVICESSERVICESSERVICESSERVICES

· TTTTTupperupperupperupperupperware Agentware Agentware Agentware Agentware Agent. For anopportunity to view the modernTupperware Catalogue, or anappointment for a kitchenwaredemonstration call 680 202 595680 202 595680 202 595680 202 595680 202 595

JOBS - OFFERSJOBS - OFFERSJOBS - OFFERSJOBS - OFFERSJOBS - OFFERS· Lady requiredLady requiredLady requiredLady requiredLady required to learnmanicures, pedicures and receptionduty. Would suit houswife, 5 hoursper day. Call Elise 645 261 463645 261 463645 261 463645 261 463645 261 463

· Established SalonEstablished SalonEstablished SalonEstablished SalonEstablished Salon needsexperienced hairdresser, must speakEnglish. Call Elise 645 261 463645 261 463645 261 463645 261 463645 261 463

· 20 sales people wanted20 sales people wanted20 sales people wanted20 sales people wanted20 sales people wanted.Leading company in the field ofsecurity for private people, businessand industry. Area: Gran CanariaSouth, Sta. Lucia, Telde, Teror,Galdar, Agaete, Las Palmas. Goodpresence, driving license and car ormotorbike, flexible hours andpunctuality are essential. Training bythe company. Please contact Michael on928 776 555928 776 555928 776 555928 776 555928 776 555 or 655 971 271655 971 271655 971 271655 971 271655 971 271

· We're looking forWe're looking forWe're looking forWe're looking forWe're looking for a British orIrish DJ/animater to work a pub crawlfor Thursday night. Must be able towork an 18-30s crowd, and theremay be other night's available. Ifinterested call 622 399 078622 399 078622 399 078622 399 078622 399 078

JOBS - WANTEDJOBS - WANTEDJOBS - WANTEDJOBS - WANTEDJOBS - WANTED· Resident barman/ waiter/handymanlooking for full/partime or relieve.Please contact Mark on 620 351 255620 351 255620 351 255620 351 255620 351 255

· Do you needDo you needDo you needDo you needDo you need that daily injection /dressing etc? English Stateregistered nurse, over 30 yearsexperience. Tel: 630 207 908630 207 908630 207 908630 207 908630 207 908 Playadel Ingles and surrounds.

· I am lookingI am lookingI am lookingI am lookingI am looking for any kind of work,helping in house, kichen aid , gardenmaintenance or flyer and so on. Niceprice. [email protected]@[email protected]@[email protected]

· Fire artistFire artistFire artistFire artistFire artist with 15 yrs experienceavailable. Also PR and stilt walking.Can suite any venue.

[email protected]@[email protected]@[email protected]

· Allrounder Allrounder Allrounder Allrounder Allrounder is looking for work.PR, painting, cleaning etc.

Tel. 678 983 493678 983 493678 983 493678 983 493678 983 493

· Cleaner/childminderCleaner/childminderCleaner/childminderCleaner/childminderCleaner/childminder is lookingfor work in Playa del Ingles andsurrounding areas, have references.Call Sharon on 626 004 893626 004 893626 004 893626 004 893626 004 893

CHARITYCHARITYCHARITYCHARITYCHARITY· THE NEIGHBOURHOOD FOODTHE NEIGHBOURHOOD FOODTHE NEIGHBOURHOOD FOODTHE NEIGHBOURHOOD FOODTHE NEIGHBOURHOOD FOODPROJECTPROJECTPROJECTPROJECTPROJECT in Arguineguin need dryfood, long-life milk, used clothing,furniture and volunteers.

Tel. 629 226 680629 226 680629 226 680629 226 680629 226 680

· CHARITY FLEA MARKETCHARITY FLEA MARKETCHARITY FLEA MARKETCHARITY FLEA MARKETCHARITY FLEA MARKET everySaturday morning in Agrguineguin.Many different groups represented.Great atmosphere and lots ofbargains!

9

www.houseingrancanaria.com · Tel. 645 952 952

San Fernando – $231,000Townhouse with 3 bedrooms, marble

floors and bathroom, living/dining room,separate kitchen, garage and terrace

Maspalomas – $80,0001-bedroom bungalows with terrace ina popular complex with tennis court,

gym, sauna etc.

Playa del Inglés – $126,0001-bedroom bungalow with terrace,

garden and community pool, close toYumbo. Private parking.

Pasito Blanco – $572,250Magnificent 3-bedroom bungalow withcommunal pool, only 2 minutes walk

from the beach and the marina.

Montaña la Data - $725,000Beautiful detached villa with designer

furniture, private pool and uninterruptedviews to the coastline.

San Fernando – $241,500Ground floor apartment, 4 bedrooms(1 single 3 double), separate kitchen,

2 bathrooms, living/dining room, terrace

All the advertised properties will be issuedwith the required energy certificate!

10

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SelectaDNA is not only being used by 1,000s of householders to prevent and deterburglary, but also by many schools, hospitals and businesses that own expensiveand vital equipment.

Suitable for Home PCs, Desktops, Laptops, Flat ScreenTVs, DVD Players, SPSs, iPods, Mobile phones,Antiques, Paintings, Garden Sheds, Mowers, Motorbikes,Scooters, Motor Vehicles, SatNavs, Horse tack, Farmmachinery, TFT monitors, Hard drives, Projectors, AVequipment, Laser printers, Scanners, Telephones, Faxmachines, PDAs, iPads, Blackberrys, Tools, PlantMachinery and much much more.

For more information or demonstration

Tel: 656 427 467San Fernando • Avda. de Galdar

11

2 for 1 Lunch OfferMon - Fri 12 – 4pm

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12

Your plans are coming together in a great waynow – so make sure that you're looking aheadto see what you can do in the near future.Things are sure to get really interesting thissoon.

Aquarius • 21. Jan - 19. Feb

Pisces • 20. Feb - 20. Mar

Aries • 21. Mar - 20. Apr

Taurus • 21. Apr - 21. May

Gemini • 22. May - 21. Jun

Cancer • 22. Jun - 22. Jul

Leo • 23. Jul - 23. Aug

Virgo • 24. Aug - 23. Sep

Libra • 24. Sep - 23. Okt

Scorpio • 24. Oct - 22. Nov

Capricorn • 22. Dec - 20. Jan

YOUR HOROSCOPEYOUR HOROSCOPEYOUR HOROSCOPEYOUR HOROSCOPEYOUR HOROSCOPE

Can you maintain focus? If so, this timeshould be golden. If not, you may have to gethelp from a friend or boss who can keep youon task. Discipline is vital to getting anythingdone now!

Jump on that big, fat opportunity – you needto relish it for all it's worth! There's no needto worry about making the wrong choice, asyou aren't likely to see something like thisagain any time soon.

You can count on plans and people now –even the stuff you've been questioning shouldbe pretty solid. If something does slip away,you can expect that a better opportunity willpop right up!

Things are bothering you under the surfaceright now, but you may not be able to plumbthe depths in time to figure out what's up.Just try to avoid taking it out on people youlove.

An unavoidable issue comes your way soon –so prepare yourself! It may be somewhat early,which means you can wrap it up and thentake some time off. Nothing more importantshould arise.

It's a good time right now for you to shareyour passions with new people – you may wina few converts, or at least impress them withyour enthusiasm! There's no need for you tohold back.

You know better than most how hard workpays off – and very soon, you get a reminderof how right you are! It could be praise or acommendation, or maybe something moretangible.

Your limits are closer than you'd like, but youstill have a ways to go before you risk bumpingup against them. Keep working until you feel alittle shaky from exhaustion. Everything elseis sweet!

Big ideas are on the table – make sure thatyours are mixing and mingling, too!Brainstorming meetings should be fruitful, asshould any collaboration that requiresplanning or foresight.

You think for yourself – much more so thanmost people – and at the moment, that qualityis shining brightly! You may dazzle someonewith an off-the-cuff remark that leaves themspeechless.

Sagittarius • 23. Nov - 21. Dec

You need a new boss – which could mean anew job or even a new career! Try to pushyourself out there and find something thatcan work with every aspect of your being, ifthat's possible.

13

PUERTO RICOVETERINARY

CENTREAt the back of the Shopping Centre

928 561 771Internal MedicineClinical analysisSurgeryTraumatologyOncologyOdontology/Ultrasonic dental cleaning

HospitalizationExotic animals clinicPets hairdresserFood and accessories

BBQ RECIPEBBQ RECIPEBBQ RECIPEBBQ RECIPEBBQ RECIPE

SEAFOOD SKEWERS(Spiedini di Mare)

This is an original Italian recipe.I made it many times and it isthat nice that I want to share itwith you!

Serves 4

– 500g (1lb 2oz) swordfish, cutinto 2.5cm (1in) chunks– 16 large raw (frozen) prawns,peeled and deveined– 16 large scallops

MARINADE

– 1/3 cup (80ml / 3fl oz) olive oil– 3 tablespoons (60ml / 2fl oz)lemon juice))– 3 tablespoons finely choppedthyme (or dried thyme)– 2 cloves (or more) garlic,crushed– salt and freshly groundpepper

Soak eight large bambooskewers in cold water for 1 hour,to prevent burning. Alternativelyuse metal skewers.For the marinade, combine theoil, lemon juice, thyme andgarlic together in a large bowl.Season with salt and pepper.Add the seafood, toss to coat,cover with cling wrap andrefrigerate 1 hour minimum.Preheat BBQ grill to high.Thread the seafood onto theskewers. Cook for 2 - 3 minuteson each side until cookedthrough.

Enjoy with a glass (or more) ofdry white wine!

14

If there are anyflyers in thismagazine it iswithout ourpermission!

Please inform uson 656 427 467

01 – Las Palmas — Puerto Mogán04 – El Tablero — Las Palmas05 – Las Palmas — Faro Maspalomas (with stop at Las Terazzas)06 – Arguineguin — Carcado Espino — Playa del Inglés18 – Faro Maspalomas — San Bartolomé — Tejeda25 – Playa Arinaga — Faro Maspalomas29 – Faro Maspalomas — Playa del Inglés — Sioux City30 – Santa Catalina LP — Faro Maspalomas32 – Playa del Inglés — Puerto Mogán33 – Playa del Inglés — Puerto Rico — Puerto Mogán36 – Telde — Faro Maspalomas39 – Playa del Inglés — Puerto Rico — Playa Amadores40 – San Fernando — El Tablero — Parque Tropical41 – Carrizal — Faro Maspalomas45 – Bahía Feliz — Palmitos Park50 – Las Palmas — Faro Maspalomas66 – Aeropuerto — Faro Maspalomas70 – Palmitos Park — Puerto Rico72 – Bahía Feliz — San Fernando Market73 – San Fernando — Faro Maspalomas84 – Puerto Mogán — Mogán86 – Puerto Mogán — Playa de Tasarte90 – Telde — Faro Maspalomas (with stop ar airport and Atlantico)91 – Las Palmas — Puerto Rico — Playa del Cura (with stop at airport)

BUS CONNECTIONSwww.globalsu.es

TIPS & InfoCLASSIFIED ADVERTS

To place a classified advert please drop it off at one of the following points with yourpayment:Playa del Ingles / San Fernando: The Print Shop, Eurocentre or Tartisima, TulipRoundabout, San Fernando • Arguineguin: Allianz office, Ancora CentrePuerto Rico: The Greedy Pig, Shopping Centre by the Taxi Rank

Or contact TIPS & INFO by email [email protected] place your advert directly on our website www.tipsandinfogc.com

PRICES25 Cent / word incl. 7% IGIC for all categories apart from:

JOBS - OFFERSFREE up to 25 words if the company is not mentioned, then 25 Cent / word incl. 7% IGICJOBS - WANTEDFREE up to 25 words, then 25 Cent / word incl 7% IGICPLEASE NOTE: The telephone number counts as a word as well!

15

Emergencies – 112(Ambulance & Fire Brigade)

Police – 091Guardia Civil – 062

Health CentresMaspalomas – 928 721 169Arguineguín – 928 152 717Playa Mogán – 928 565 976

Tourist OfficesPlaya del Inglés (Yumbo) 928 771 550Playa del Inglés (Anexo II) 928 768 409Maspalomas – 928 769 585Puerto Rico – 928 158 804

Taxi – 928 154 777You can order a taxi underthis phone number fromVecindario to Mogan!

ConsulatesAustrian – 928 762 500British – 928 262 508Belgian – 928 230 701German – 928 262 731Danish – 922 275 757Dutch – 928 233 049Finnish – 928 227 903French – 928 233 994Irish – 928 297 728Italian – 928 244 786Norwegian – 928 495 036Swedish – 928 275 056Swiss – 928 290 070

International Operator – 025Local Operator – 1003Gran Canaria Airport928 579 130

HELPFULPHONE NUMBERS

SEWINGCC Ancora 158A · Arguineguin

Tel: 676 240 398

PAPELERIA2002Tel. 634 680 968

Fax 928 766 941

Photocopy black & colourScanner • Fax ServiceInternet • Print servicePassport photos, etc

Open Mon - Fri 9am-2pm / 5pm-8pmSat & Holidays 9am-1pm & 6pm-8pm

Sundays closedS. C. Yumbo Loc. 411-04

next door to lottery

SALON KORALHairdresser

Playa del Ingles · C.C. Prisma · Local 4(near Yumbo Centre)

Open 10:00 – 14:00 and 17:00 – 19:00 Tel. 928 77 19 86

Icelandic, Scandinavian languages, English,Spanish and German speaking!

ALL TYPES OF CLEANINGAND

GENERAL MAINTENANCEAll-round and specialist cleaning.

Property maintenance, tiling,decorating, electrical & plumbing work.

Secure key-holding service.Your home in safe & trustworthy hands.

Established in GC since 2006.Call Jim or Dean on Mobile

664 709 331 (24 hrs) or 928 062 787Email: [email protected] brothers are separated at birth, one

going to live in the big city and the otheron a farm in the coutry. Eventually, thetwo learn of each other and there's ahappy reunion on the country brother'sfarm.

Having never been to a farm before, thecity brother asks for a tour. The farmershows him the cows, the barn, horses,and the corn fields before coming to thepig sty, where he proudly introduces hisprized possesion: a three-legged sow.

"That sow is finest animal to ever live,"proclaimed the farmer, "She saved mythree children from the barn when it wasburning down."

"When I fell from the tree over yonder,she ran all the way to town and fetchedthe doctor," he continued.

"And, when my wife went into labor inthe middle of the night, she delivered myyongest son!"

Amazed, the city brother remarked, "that'squite a pig. But, what happened to herthat she only has three legs?"

"Well, hell," said the farmer, "be a damnshame, eat a pig like that all at once."

16

LUXURY VILLA WITH TENNIS COURTThis beautiful villa is located in one of the best areas of

Gran Canaria, the "MONTE LEÓN".Panoramic views of the Atlantic ocean.

Impressive mountain scenery with deep valleys.

1,165m² built – 830m² living space12,817m² plot

The villa offers:• 8 bedrooms• 7 bathrooms• Salon• Large sun terrace with BBQ• Fitness centre• Swimming Pool• Tennis court• Professional kitchen• Double garage• Loundry• Emergency generator • Home cinema with stage

Drastically Reduced! Now available for €2,149,000


(+34) 645 952 952The Energy Efficiency Certificatefor this property is in procedure

DIET VS EXERCISEDIET VS EXERCISEDIET VS EXERCISEDIET VS EXERCISEDIET VS EXERCISEWHICH MAWHICH MAWHICH MAWHICH MAWHICH MATTERS MOSTTTERS MOSTTTERS MOSTTTERS MOSTTTERS MOST

In a perfect world, everyone wouldwork out enough and eat right all thetime. But that's not always possible,so we turned to the experts to findout what really matters most--dietingor exercise--for losing weight, fightingdisease, and boosting overall well-being. Here, we crown the champ ineach category.

TO LOSE WEIGHTTO LOSE WEIGHTTO LOSE WEIGHTTO LOSE WEIGHTTO LOSE WEIGHT

The winner: DietThe winner: DietThe winner: DietThe winner: DietThe winner: Diet

The reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reason: As research makesclear, trimming calories from your dietis the most direct route to a smallerdress size. "It's much easier to cut500 calories than to spend an hour inthe gym burning 500 calories everyday," says Timothy Church, M.D.,Ph.D., director of preventive medicineresearch at the Pennington BiomedicalResearch Center at Louisiana StateUniversity. However, both diet andexercise are essential for keeping thatweight off.

TO BOOST ENERGYTO BOOST ENERGYTO BOOST ENERGYTO BOOST ENERGYTO BOOST ENERGY

The winner: ExerciseThe winner: ExerciseThe winner: ExerciseThe winner: ExerciseThe winner: Exercise

The reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reason: Exercise causes thebrain to pour out invigoratingneurotransmitters like dopamine andnorepinephrine, says PatrickO'Connor, Ph.D., an exercisepsychologist at the University ofGeorgia. People who train consistentlyreport surges in energy, according tosome 70 studies.

TO REDUCE RISK OFTO REDUCE RISK OFTO REDUCE RISK OFTO REDUCE RISK OFTO REDUCE RISK OF

HEART DISEASEHEART DISEASEHEART DISEASEHEART DISEASEHEART DISEASE

The winner: DietThe winner: DietThe winner: DietThe winner: DietThe winner: Diet

The reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reason: "If you had to focus onone nutrient that would lower yourheart disease risk, it would be omega-3 fatty acids," says William Harris,Ph.D., director of the cardiovascularhealth research center at the Universityof South Dakota. In studies, omega-3s from oily fish lower heart diseaserisk by up to 64 percent. That said,working out does strengthen yourcardiovascular system.

TO PREVENT DIABETESTO PREVENT DIABETESTO PREVENT DIABETESTO PREVENT DIABETESTO PREVENT DIABETES


The reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reason: Nearly 10 millionAmerican women have diabetes.Achieving a healthy weight throughdiet and exercise is the strongestdefense against the disease, butphysical activity has a slight edge.Active muscles gobble up glucosefrom the blood for fuel, which helpskeep blood-sugar levels stable.

TO PREVENT CANCERTO PREVENT CANCERTO PREVENT CANCERTO PREVENT CANCERTO PREVENT CANCER

The winner:The winner:The winner:The winner:The winner:

Both diet and exerciseBoth diet and exerciseBoth diet and exerciseBoth diet and exerciseBoth diet and exercise

The reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reason: Eating a mostly plant-based diet and exercising regularlyremain the gold standard for wardingoff cancer. Keep in mind: Studies havefound the more consistently you workout, the greater the protection

TO IMPROVE MOODTO IMPROVE MOODTO IMPROVE MOODTO IMPROVE MOODTO IMPROVE MOOD


The reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reasonThe reason: A 20-minute sweatsession can be enough to perk upyour mood for a whopping 12 hours,reports a University of Vermont study.It may also be as effective as medicationfor treating depression in somepeople. And exercise can lead tochanges in the brain that strengthenyour resolve against stress.


As we get older we sometimes begin

to doubt our ability to "make a

difference" in the world.

It is at these times that our hopes are

boosted by the remarkable

achievements of other "seniors" who

have found the courage to take on

challenges that would make many of

us wither.

Harold Schlumberg is such a person.

VERY INSPIRING!

“I've often been asked, 'What do you

old folks do now that you're retired?’

Well… I'm fortunate to have a

chemical engineering background,

and one of the things I enjoy most is

turning beer, wine, Scotch, and

margaritas into urine.”

17

Creación Artistica

WE OFFER:

Full project…Design and planningTilingPlasteringWorking with wood, glass, metal and stoneArtistic paintings on walls and ceilingSculpturesPaintingFurnishingUpholsteringElectric and plumbingRenovation of apartments / houses

Contact by tel: 645 952 952

by H. BackaertTheme bars, restaurants, clubs, pubs, villas, apartments etc.

18

We accept noliability for any information

that we receive inthe copy of ads placed by

our advertisers.

TO CONTTO CONTTO CONTTO CONTTO CONTACT US:ACT US:ACT US:ACT US:ACT US:Websi te :Websi te :Websi te :Websi te :Websi te :

wwwwwwwwwwwwwww.tipsandinfogc.com.tipsandinfogc.com.tipsandinfogc.com.tipsandinfogc.com.tipsandinfogc.com

E-mai lE-mai lE-mai lE-mai lE-mai l

t [email protected]@[email protected]@[email protected]

Mobi le :Mobi le :Mobi le :Mobi le :Mobi le :

656 427 467656 427 467656 427 467656 427 467656 427 467(Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm)(Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm)(Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm)(Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm)(Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm)

PLEASE NOTE:The only language

accepted for advertisingis English!

NO EXCEPTIONS!

To be fair to ouradvertisers we do

not publishcompetitive prices

for restaurants and bars

I M P R I N T

Tel:Web site:

Publisher:

Deposito legal:

645 952 952www.tipsandinfogc.com

Audio Entertainment&PublicityServicesS.L.

AUDIO ENTERTAINMENT &PUBLICITY SERVICES S.L.

35100 Playa del Ingles

GC 87-2004

GRAN CANARIAGRAN CANARIAGRAN CANARIAGRAN CANARIAGRAN CANARIAMARKETSMARKETSMARKETSMARKETSMARKETS

· Agüimes – Thu 08:00 – 14:00 next tothe municipal swimming pool.· Arguineguin – Tue 08:00 – 14:00 at themarket square.· Arguineguin – Thu 08:00 – 14:00 at theAncora Centre· Arguineguin – Sat 08:00 – 14:00 CarBoot Sale at the market square.· Arucas – Sat 08:00 – 14:00.· Gáldar Market – Thu 08:00 – 14:00 atthe market square.· Ingenio – 09:00 – 15:00 on the firstSunday of every month.· Jinámar – Sun 09:00 – 15:00.· Las Palmas – Sun 08:00 – 14:00 on thetop floor of the bus terminal by the SanTelmo Park.· Maspalomas Car Boot Sale – Sun 08:00– 14:00. At the car park at the Faro 2Shopping Centre. This Market will soonmove to San Fernando.· San Fernando Farmers Market – everyother Sunday 09:00 – 14:00 at the Pistade Patinaje.· Moya – Sun 08:00 – 14:00 at the busstation.· Puerto de Mogán – Fri 08:00 – 14:00 atthe harbour.· Puerto de Mogán – Mon 09:00 – 14:30at the Plaza del Parking.· Playa del Inglés – Mon – Sat 19:30 –23:30 at Parque Europeo near the MiniTrain.· San Bartolome de Tirajana – Sun 09:00– 14:00 at "Mercatunte".· San Fernando – Wed and Sat 08:00 –14:00 at the market hall.· San Mateo – Sat 07:00 – 19.00 withCanarian singing and dancing at themarket place.· San Mateo – Sun 07:00 – 14:00 withCanarian singing and dancing at themarket place.· Santa Brígida – Sat and Sun 08:00 –20:00 – just follow the noise!· Santa Lucía – Sun 09:00 – 14:00 next tothe town hall.· Santa María de Guía – Tue and Sun08:30 – 13:00 close to the town hall.

· Telde – Sun 08:00 – 14:00 next to thebus station.· Teror – Sun 08:00 – 14:00 at the squarenext to the church.· Valsequillo – Sun 08:00 – 14:00 at themarket place.· Valleseco – Sun 08:00 – 14:00 in themarket hall.· Vecindario – Mon and Wed 08:00 –14:00 in the market hall, Calle Juan XXIII.· Vecindario Farmers Market – everyother Sat 08:00 – 14:00 in La Karpa,Avda. de Las Tirajanas s/n.


Teacher asks:

Little Johnny, where is your religiousinstruction homework on the life ofJesus?

Little Johnny replies:

Well you see, miss, I did do it, and, itwas absolutely amazing, but then itdied over the weekend, it had comeback to life on Sunday but now it'sgone, and, ascended to heaven.

Teacher asks:

You expect me to believe all that crapyou've just told me?

Little Johnny says:

Exactly.

PLEASE NOTEPLEASE NOTEPLEASE NOTEPLEASE NOTEPLEASE NOTEonly the classified ads in

JOB OFFERS & JOBS WANTEDJOB OFFERS & JOBS WANTEDJOB OFFERS & JOBS WANTEDJOB OFFERS & JOBS WANTEDJOB OFFERS & JOBS WANTED

are free up to 25 words!

Classified ads 25 cent / word

Boxed adverts from 15 $

(single box 24 $)

Prices do not include IGIC.

In order to maintain highprint standards together

with prompt distribution theDEADLINE

for our September issue is20 August 2013

18:00 hrs.After this time NO

additions or alterationscan be made.

t&i aug 2013 150dpi

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