The Vision-Driven Marriage The Vision-Driven Marriage

Changing YourselfChanging Yourself

Changing YourselfChanging Yourself

1.1. Identify and value who you Identify and value who you were were createdcreated to be. to be.

1.1. Identify and value who you Identify and value who you were were createdcreated to be. to be.

Changing YourselfChanging Yourself1.1. Identify and value who you Identify and value who you

were created to be.were created to be.

2.2. Be a Be a safesafe person. person.

1.1. Identify and value who you Identify and value who you were created to be.were created to be.

2.2. Be a Be a safesafe person. person.

What do I do that makes my What do I do that makes my spouse feel less safe in our spouse feel less safe in our

marriage?marriage? ► Criticizing Criticizing ► Angry OutburstsAngry Outbursts► Threats (e.g., of violence, leaving, divorce, etc.)Threats (e.g., of violence, leaving, divorce, etc.)► Ignoring issuesIgnoring issues► Withdrawal (not addressing issues now or later)Withdrawal (not addressing issues now or later)► Sarcastic humor (without regard for feelings)Sarcastic humor (without regard for feelings)► ““Your feelings are wrong/stupid”Your feelings are wrong/stupid”► JudgmentJudgment

Changing YourselfChanging Yourself1.1. Identify and value who you Identify and value who you

were created to be.were created to be.

2.2. Be a safe person.Be a safe person.

3.3. Take control by Take control by simplifyingsimplifying and and slowingslowing down down

1.1. Identify and value who you Identify and value who you were created to be.were created to be.

2.2. Be a safe person.Be a safe person.

3.3. Take control by Take control by simplifyingsimplifying and and slowingslowing down down

SPEED TESTAnswer 2 for “absolutely true,” 1 for “somewhat true,” and 0 for “not at all true.”

• I finish other people’s sentences when they speak slowly. 2 1 0• I have an automatic reach response when my phone beeps. 2 1 0• I almost always feel pressured for time. 2 1 0• I frequently eat meals while standing or moving. 2 1 0• I consider going to the restroom a break in my day. 2 1 0• I often push the close door buttons on elevators. 2 1 0• I can feel my blood pressure climb in slow checkout lines. 2 1 0• I get frustrated when people are late. 2 1 0• I often do two things at once to save time. 2 1 0• I get crazy when people ahead of me are driving too slowly. 2 1 0

A score of 15-20: Your fast ways are very likely compromising your health and well-being.

A score of 10-14: You’re a borderline speedaholic. You’d enjoy life more if you dialed back a bit.

A score of 0-9: Bravo! You’re taking life at a moderate pace and enjoying life as it arrives.

Changing YourselfChanging Yourself1.1. Identify and value who you were created Identify and value who you were created

to be.to be.

2.2. Be a safe person.Be a safe person.

3.3. Take control by simplifying and slowing Take control by simplifying and slowing downdown

4.4. Engage the process of being Engage the process of being wholewhole and and healthyhealthy

1.1. Identify and value who you were created Identify and value who you were created to be.to be.

2.2. Be a safe person.Be a safe person.

3.3. Take control by simplifying and slowing Take control by simplifying and slowing downdown

4.4. Engage the process of being Engage the process of being wholewhole and and healthyhealthy

On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 25 (totally), rate how well On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 25 (totally), rate how well you care for yourself in each area.you care for yourself in each area.

____Emotionally (experiencing feelings, grieving ____Emotionally (experiencing feelings, grieving losses, having healthy friendships)losses, having healthy friendships)

____Spiritually (worshipping, bible study, prayer time, ____Spiritually (worshipping, bible study, prayer time,

listening to God)listening to God)

____Mentally (positive thoughts, sense of value and ____Mentally (positive thoughts, sense of value and worth, growing intellectually)worth, growing intellectually)

____Physically (healthy eating, exercising, resting)____Physically (healthy eating, exercising, resting)