The Ultimate Conversation-

Starter Cheat Sheet

How to know exactly what to say to start a conversation

www.shanadouglas.com

The UltimateConversation-Starter Cheat Sheet

The Ultimate Conversation-Starter Cheat Sheet

Copyright © by Shana Douglas

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Let’s get the conversation started with the S.T.A.R.T.method

This conversation-starter cheat sheet shows you how to start conversations with anyone, anywhere, anytime.

To make things easy, memorize the S.T.A.R.T. method.

Then when you meet someone new and interesting, you’ll know exactly how to S.T.A.R.T. the conversation.

START

▪Surroundings

▪Topics

▪Ask

▪Reveal

▪Tune-In

Surroundings

Become an observer. Observe what’s happening in your

immediate surroundings. Then start a conversation based on

what you’ve observed:

1. Actions and Words: Comment on what the person is saying or doing

2. Compliment: Compliment the person on something they’re:

wearing (clothes, jewelry, tattoo)

carrying (backpack, luggage, musical instrument, tools)

holding (pen, book, magazine, tablet, cell phone)

3. People: Comment on other people nearby

4. Weather: Talk about the weather

5. Local attractions: Talk about restaurants, stores, museums, theatres,

parks, and other local attractions

6. Places: Mention something you like about the city, state, or neighborhood

you’re in

Topics

Hobbies

Work

Profession

Movies

Music

News

Current Events

TV shows

Sports

Family

Books

Food

Travel

Technology

Pets

Education

Fitness

Theatre

Weekend plans

Vacations

Talk about general-interest topics:

Ask

Ask an open-endedquestion.

Or you can ask a closed-ended question, and then follow up with an open-ended question.

What to

ask?

Ask about:

✓ Surroundings

✓ Topics

These types of questions are easy ways to get a conversation started.

Here are some examples of what to ask:

At a seminar, networking event, business meeting, or party:

▪ How are you enjoying yourself so far? (Surroundings)

▪ How did you get involved in your line of work? (Topic: work)

▪ Do you attend these types of events often? (Surroundings)

▪ The hors d'oeuvres are delicious. Did you try the (yummy food)? (Surroundings)

▪ Excuse me, I happened to overhear you mention (topic), I’ve always wondered about that. What’s your view on (topic)? (Topic: general)

▪ The décor is beautiful. What do you think? (Surroundings)

Here are more examples of what to ask:

On line at the bank, coffee shop, store:

▪ I love their lattes. What’s your favorite drink? (Surroundings: food)

▪ Do you work around here? (Topic: work)

▪ I’m thinking about seeing a movie this weekend. Have you seen any good movies lately? (Topic: movies)

▪ I’m looking for a good restaurant in the area? Are there any you’d recommend? (Surroundings: local attractions)

▪ I’ve been trying to find a good productivity app. Do you know of any? (Topic: technology)

▪ Excuse me, I notice you have the latest [gadget/sneakers/wearable technology], how do you like it? (Surroundings: gear)

Reveal

Reveal general information about yourself. This will encourage the person to engage in conversation with you. The first and easiest thing you can reveal is your name.

Yep!

Go ahead and introduce yourself:▪ “Hi. I’m Shana. How’s your day going so far?”

▪ “Hi. I’m Shana. Nice to meet you.”

▪ “Hi. I’m Shana. I just got here. What did I miss?”

▪ “Hi. I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Shana.”

You can also reveal basic background information about:▪ What you do for a living

▪ Where you’re from

▪ Where you went to school

▪ What your hobbies are

▪ What your favorite sports team is

Tune-In

Great conversations require:

Chemistry

and

Rapport

So, here’s what to do . . .

Tune-In

LISTEN

No . . . really.

Listen.

▪Don’t be distracted by trying to think of what you’ll say next.

▪Be present in the conversation and go with the flow.

Tune-In

MATCH AND MIRRORMatch and Mirror is a technique to help build instant rapport at the unconscious level.

▪ People tend to like people who are like them.

▪ So, get on their wavelength:

Meet them at their level. Get in sync with their communication

style. If they’re excited, you get excited. If they’re relaxed, you

relax.

When you match their energy level or emotional state,

chances are, they’ll think you’re like them, and they’ll be more

likely to view you in a positive way.

Just be subtle when you use the match-and-mirror

technique. Otherwise, you’ll make the person feel weird.

S.T.A.R.T.Recap

▪Surroundings

▪Topics

▪Ask

▪Reveal

▪Tune-In

That’s the S.T.A.R.T.method

But wait!

There’s more . . .

As a bonus, I’ve added another part that makes the S.T.A.R.T. method even more effective.

S.T.A.R.T. works best when you apply it within a N.E.S.T.

NEST

The N.E.S.T. relates to

body language and tone

of voice, both of which are

important parts of communication.

NEST

Use the N.E.S.T. appropriately to make conversations better:

Nod Nodding shows that you are listening and that you understand.

It can also mean you approve of what the person is saying. Nodding encourages the person to keep talking.

Eye Contact Good eye contact shows that you are interested, paying

attention, and are focused on what the person is saying.

Smile A smile is universal language. It’s a positive facial expression

that shows friendliness and a willingness to engage.

Tone of Voice Use a friendly tone of voice. Be mindful of the volume, speed,

and pitch of your voice.

S.T.A.R.T.

and

N.E.S.T.

By using the S.T.A.R.T. and N.E.S.T. methods, you’ll know exactly what to say to start conversations that can improve your personal and professional relationships.

S.T.A.R.T.Talking

▪Conversation is crucial.

▪It’s how we start and build relationships.

▪It just takes confidence and getting a good S.T.A.R.T.

To learn more about:CONFIDENCE.CONVERSATIONS.CONNECTIONS.

Visit: www.shanadouglas.com