the termination of relationships relationship dissolution: how it happens u passing away u sudden...
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PHASES OF RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION
INTRA-PSYCHIC PHASE DYADIC PHASE SOCIAL PHASE GRAVE-DRESSING PHASE
COMMUNICATING DURING RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION
WHO INITIATES IT? DISTANCING & DISASSOCIATING “STRATEGIES”
CAUSES OF RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION
BREAKDOWN IN COMMUNICATION LOSS OF SHARED GOALS/INTERESTS DESIRE FOR INDEPENDENCE SEXUAL AND/OR INTIMACY PROBLEMS ROLE STRAIN MONEY CHILDREN INFIDELITY/LOYALTY ISSUES ALCOHOL/DRUG ABUSE
DIVORCE FACTS
APPROXIMATELY 50% OF BOTH FIRST AND SECOND MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE
USUALLY AT LEAST ONE CHILD IS INVOLVED
USUALLY IT IS A HIGH STRESS PROCESS FOR ALL CONCERNED
COMMON COMMUNICATION PATTERNS DURING DIVORCE
RECIPROCITY OF “BAD” (OFTEN PETTY) ACTS
POWER PLAYS: “I WIN, YOU LOSE” COMMUNICATION WITH CHILDREN:
– Arguing in front of them– Explaining about “Daddy & Mommy”– Not talking to them about what’s happening
PRIMARY CONCERNS/TOPICS FOCUS ON:– Division of resources– Future relationships– Visitation rights & custody (if children &/or pets
involved) CONSTRUCTIVE PATTERNS OF
COMMUNICATION ARE POSSIBLE AND SOME COUPLES MANAGE QUITE WELL. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS NOT THE NORM.
WHAT IS JEALOUSY?– A Learned Reaction To A Loss Or Threat Of Loss– Can Be Real or Imagined
WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO BE JEALOUS?– Insecure People– People Who Have a High Dependency On The
Relationship– People Who Strongly Support A Value System Involving
Possessiveness of Private Property & Total Togetherness in Relationships
WHAT ARE WE JEALOUS ABOUT?– Time; Persons; Situations/Opporunities
IS JEALOUSY ALWAYS BAD?– Mild Forms of Jealousy Can Show Concern &
Caring for the Relationship– Too Often It Involves Unhealthy Responses
Such as Planning Revenge; Sinking into Depression; Wallowing in Self-Pity; etc.
COPING WITH JEALOUSY– Communicate in Ways To Develop Self-
Esteem/Self-Confidence For Yourself & Your Partner
– Talk To Your Partner About Expectations, Assumptions, & Feelings Related to Behaviors That May Be Associated With Jealousy
GENDER & JEALOUSY MALES
– Becoming Jealous: Focus on Lowered Self-Esteem Due To Negative Judgment By Partner
– Ways of Coping: Get Drunk; Get Aggressive; Feel “Turned On” By Jealous Situation; Get Angry With Self; Engage in Rivalrous Behavior With “Other” Man; Make Effort To Secure Another Relationship
– Inducing Jealousy: Less Likely Than Females– Motives: Men Likely To Feel Partner’s Interest
In Another Romantic Partner Motivated By Desire for More Committed Relationship, Sexual Attraction, &/or Relationship Dissatisfaction
FEMALES– Becoming Jealous: Focus On Difficulty in
Developing Another Relationship If This One Should End
– Ways of Coping: Cry; Try To Make Selves More Attractive To Partner; Pretend Not To Care; Withdraw From Other Relationship Possibilities
– Inducing Jealousy: More Likely Than Males– Motives: Women Likely to Feel Partner’s
Interest In Another Romantic Partner Is Motivated by Desire For More Sexual Variety; Nonsexual Attractions; &/or Relationship Dissatisfaction
TYPES OF INFIDELITY
“ACCIDENTAL” AFFAIRS ROMANTIC AFFAIRS MARITAL ARRANGEMENTS PHILANDERING
– Men: Worship Masculinity, Not Intimacy – Women: Angry at men; seek control through
sex