the stony brook press - volume 29, issue 11

8/14/2019 The Stony Brook Press - Volume 29, Issue 11

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newsVol. XXIX, Issue 11 | Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Earthstock Celebration

4/14-15 All Day

Upcoming Campus Events

Some Lecture About Something

Some Date, Some Time

Former Governor Eliot Spitzerspolitical career isnt the only casualtyof the scandal surrounding his in-volvement in a prostitution ring. AsGovernor David Patterson took thereins of the New York State govern-ment last Monday, several lawmakersexpressed uncertainty about the futureof some of Spitzers budget proposals,including a $4 billion higher educationendowment.

Theres wide support among leg-islators for the endowment, said As-semblyman Steve Englebright(D-Setauket). But its perfectly un-clear whether or not this shaky con-cept will be embraced by the newgovernor.

The endowment was proposed bySpitzer as a supplemental revenuestream for NewYorks public schoolsystem. It is expected to initially gen-erate $220 million per year, and thenincrease to $330 million in ten yearsas the principal grows. However, law-makers have been hesitant to supportit because it would be funded by leas-ing some of the states lottery to pri-vate interests.

Its very easy to support the con-

cept of an endowment, said SenatorJohn Flanagan (R-East Northport).The challenge for us is, how do you

pay for it? When questioned onwhether he supported the leasing ofthe lottery to fund the endowment,Flanagan said he did not because ithad not been attempted in other statesand was unproven. My worry is, ifthis thing is so good, we would havedone it already, he said.

Although the endowment was justa proposal in its nascent stage with no

effect on this years budget, there areseveral other factors stressing thefunding for higher education. Primaryamong these concerns is the $4.4 bil-lion budget deficit facing the state.Spitzer had added a provision in his

budget request that would requireSUNYschools to adopt a 2.5% cut inoperating costs, which drew criticismamong legislators who questionedwhy he would support increased fund-ing for state schools, yet require themto face steep budget cuts at the sametime. This included cuts for many

popular programs such as the Educa-tional Opportunity Program, the Lib-erty Partnership Program and theTuition Assistance Program.

We had a Pataki-like budget be-fore us, said Englebright, referring toformer Governor George Pataki whohad long supported spending cuts forSUNY. When the budget disinvests,when [Spitzer] says we should rein-vest, and when were facing decliningrevenues, there are going to have to besome decisions made.

Although certain lawmakers havebalked at increases in spending duringan economic downturn, the budget capagreed upon by Patterson and theleadership of theAssembly and Senateis $124 billion, a 4.4% increase fromlast years budget, yet a still a smaller

increase than Spitzers proposal of5.1%

Despite the need for cuts in thestates budget, the Higher EducationCommittee has been given an addi-tional $90 million to allocate. Whilethe majority of that money will beused to roll back the 2.5% cut in oper-ating costs proposed by Spitzer, thecommittee was still deadlocked as towhat do with the residual funds. Thiswas an impasse between theAssemblyand the Senate stemming from an ar-

gument over the governance of theStony Brook Medical Center. At presstime, the decision over the fate of nearis $30 million in funds was bounced

back to the general conference com-mittee, where Assembly and Senateleadership will attempt to reach anagreement. This is a common proce-dure when any budget committeereaches an impasse over spending pri-orities.

Adding to the uncertainty con-cerning the states higher education

budget is the resignation of LloydConstantine, a member of Spitzersinner circle who was the main force

behind increasing funding for theSUNY system. It has been reported

by several news agencies that he wasone of Spitzers most trusted and in-fluential advisors, referring to himselfas a monster man. It was at Con-stantines urging that Spitzer set up theCommission on Higher Education,which recommended that the state in-crease full-time faculty and fundingfor research and development, as wellas ease the transfer process from com-munity college to four-year institu-tions.

In addition to the uncertainty sur-

rounding the budget, Spitzers resig-nation has also prompted fear amonggraduate assistants and teaching assis-tants that they will not be able to reachan agreement with the Governors Of-fice of Employee Relations regardingtheir contract renewal. During con-tract negotiations, the chief negotia-tors from the state indicated that theywould not have the authority to bar-gain in upcoming meetings scheduledwith the Graduate Student EmployeesUnion, according to Victor Rosado,

business agent for the union. The em-ployee relations board claimed thiswas due to the transition to the Patter-son administration and the need toalign new fiscal priorities with the

budget and assess their impact.The union, still reeling from a de-

cision by the Stony Brook administra-tion to limit $2,000 stipend raises tonew hires only, expressed frustrationwith the process. [State] officials aremore than capable of simultaneouslyworking out a contract settlement withGSEU and getting the ok from thenew governors office, said Rosado.The delay, in my view, is bad faith

bargaining at its worst.A representative from the gover-

nors office could not be reached bypress time.

Ultimately, its hard to gauge what

the full impact of Spitzers resignationwill be for Stony Brook. With a rela-tively unknown man rising to poweramid scandal, even Albany insidersand experts could not determine whatthe outcome will be. How will thisall play out? asked Englebright.Hey, we just got a new governor. Ireally cant tell you off the top of myhead.

Albany Turmoil Leads to UncertainityBy Jake Conarck

Environmental ProtectionStudent volunteers collected peti-

tions and called Senator Flanagan tourge him to support an updated BottleBill and include it in the Senatesbudget. NYPIRG successfully collectedninety-two letters from students in sup-port of the bottle bill and handed themover to Flanagan on March 12 at his

Smithtown office. NYPIRG also organ-ized students to call community mem-bers to ask them to urge SenatorFlanagan to support an updated BottleBill. Lobbying done by constituents not

affiliated with well-known interestgroups is important to ensure lawmak-ers that proposals have widespread sup-port in their own districts. NYPIRGwill have a booth during Earthstock togain support and awareness for the Bot-tle Bill, mercury pollution, clean air andrenewable energy.

Consumer ActionNYPIRGs Consumer Action Proj-

ect will be continuing its work on play-ground safety by surveying tenplaygrounds in Suffolk County. The re-

sults will be included in a statewide survey and released to media outlets aswell as state and local officials. Usingthe survey, students will look at fallzones, unsafe materials, equipment

height, chipping paint, head entrap-ment hazards and clothing entangle-ment hazards. In the past NYPIRGssurveys have helped playground safetyby exposing risks to officials.

Higher EducationAt the Student Lending Workshop

this past Wednesday, the NYPIRGhigher education and consumer actioninterns informed Stony Brook studentsof the different loans available for them.The workshop informed students onhow to manage their debt, availability

of repayment options after graduation,loan discounts and how not to becomeoverwhelmed by post-graduation debt.The higher education interns will alsobe working on Pens for Kenya, a pen

drive for students in Kenya who arentallowed admission to school without aworking pen. The interns will be speak-ing in different classes and getting do-nations of pens from students oncampus.

Spring ConferenceOn April 5 and 6, students from

NYPIRG chapters at twenty-one col-leges around New York State will bemeeting in Albany. Workshops will begiven on progressive politics, skill setsand current NYPIRG issues. All Stony

Brook students are welcome to attendthis two day conference. ContactJonathan Green ([email protected](631)632-6457)) for more information.

By Jake Conarck


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The Stony Brook Press 3News

Susan McKeon made a decision overthe weekend. She decided to get arrested.The officers were very nice, said McK-eon, as she walked out of the SmithHaven mall after being charged withcriminal trespassing.

McKeons crime was part of a largerprotest, most of which was legal. At thebeginning of the demonstration, over 100anti-war activists gathered on the side-walk outside the mall, their signs facingRoute 25. Some cars honked against thewar. Others honked in response to the

smaller group of pro-war activists whostood across the mall entrance. And im-

partial police officers stood in betweenthe two groups.

Last week the number of Americansoldiers who died in Iraq reached 4,000.Anti-war activist and WUSB personalityBill McNulty called this number a turn-ing point, saying that dissension amongthe people has reached a level unmatchedsince Vietnam. However, while the war inVietnam prompted protest from count-less college students, only four SBU stu-dents attended last Saturdays protest, andtwo of them were College Republicans

there to support the war.This is for you, pinkos, said one pro-

war activist, a blond woman with a thickLong Island accent. She spoke through a

mini PA system, over a musical track thatincluded Twisted Sisters Were NotGonna Take It. The womans remarkswere Islamophobic, as she asked thepeaceniks, Do you want to be walkingaround in a burqa?

College Republican Kevin McKeon(no relation to Ms. McKeon) showed upto support the troops and the war theyrefighting. If you were to pull out, yourenot remembering why the soldiers died,he said. You cant abandon the memory.As he made those remarks, a man driv-ing a Hummer honked in support of thewar. A serviceman in full uniform even-tually joined Kevins group, but as an ac-tive soldier he was not allowed to

comment.The anti-war protest featured numer-

ous veterans who were willing to com-ment about their views. George Wake-field served in Vietnam 40 years ago, andnow he attends peace rallies. A lot ofguys like myself had mixed feelings[about] Vietnam at the time, he said,holding a sign that reiterated his current

feelings of Iraq. While the event wascalled to recognize 4,000 Americansdead, the signs held by the anti-war pro-testors also pointed out that one millionIraqis have also died as a result of the con-flict.

Weve been lied into this state of war,said McNulty. Every American is af-fected by what the criminals do in Wash-ington, DC. Trouble arose when a groupof about twenty protestors decided to

enter the mall. The group proceeded tothe central concourse, where they readout the names of the 4,000 soldiers who

have died. First mall security wascalled, and then Suffolk County Policeofficers came in.

Two arrests were made. McKeonwas arrested for criminal trespassing,and was taken away to the security of-fice. I just felt, from a moral point ofview, I had to publicly speak out be-cause people are dying every day, shesaid While McKeon allowed officers toescort her to another location, anotherprotester refused to move. He was

eventually charged with criminal tres-passing and resisting arrest, and wastaken away in a police car. Newsdayhas identified the protestor as DonZirkel, an 80-year-old church deacon

from Bethpage. McKeon was allowed toleave with a court summons.

Blessed are the peacemakers, saidChris Sorochin, a former Stony Brook

Press staffer and protestor at last Satur-days event. Its from the sermon on themount. Sorochin made this reference as

the blonde haired woman across thestreet proclaimed Islamic law Sharia di-arrhea.

But the days events left Myrna Gor-don confused. When I come to all these

rallies, where are all the college kids? sheasks. As corporate America provided abackdrop for both groups of protestors,the average age appeared to be around 40.I dont know what young people thinkanymore, said Gordon. Will it take adraft to have them confront the issue?Kevin McKeon was quick to point outthat the Army serving in Iraq is a volun-teer Army, and that people join the mili-tary with the potential of fighting for theircountry. As Kevin made his statement, a

man riding a motorcycle gave credit tothe pro-war people. And the blondehaired woman kept on ranting. Wel-come to the freak show across the street,she said.

Death and Destruction at 4,000!By Jon Singer

Jesse SchoepferThey have more flags than the hippies.

Jesse SchoepferAmerica! Fuck Yeah! Save the motherfucking day, yeah!

Jesse SchoepferThe Po-Po, the Fuzz, the 5-0: Either way you spin it, theyre baaaaad news.

Jesse SchoepferPeace! Fuck yeah! Save the motherfucking troops, yeah!

Jesse SchoepferNot Kooooooooooooool

Jesse SchoepferI got arrested and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.


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This article is about Ann Coulter.She came to Stony Brook. She made aspeech. The date that she came wasMarch 31, 2008. She was scheduled togive her speech at 8 p.m. The eventwas supposed to start then, but shedidnt go on stage until almost 8:30 inthe evening, in fact. The crowd wasanxious, but eventually, she came andspoke and lots of people clapped.There were about 125 people in theroom, both students and old whiteguys. Her appearance cost the school

nearly $30,000. Her speech was abouthalf-an-hour, with questions after-wards.

Kevin McKeon is the President ofthe College Republicans. He shoutedout his fellow College Republicansand introduced Ann Coulter and eventalked about how much the CollegeRepublicans are growing. He said,The revolution is still going on.Everybody clapped.

Ann was wearing a black woman-suit thing with a sleek white shirt un-derneath, which inspired an olderman to say that other pundits are notas good looking as [Ann]. Ann

smiled.Looks like the five-dollar cover

charge kept the liberals away, saidCoulter. Then she said that all the lib-erals were not at her event because, itbeing post-spring-break, they were all

at the free clinic. Everybody laughedat how witty she was. She made lots ofjokes.

Ms. Coulter pointed out how lib-erals are most definitely lacking intel-ligence, and cited a number of reasonswhy. For one, their aspirations of

diplomacy and increased awarenessare just fancy ways of saying theywant to do nothing. Other reasons

why liberals are silly idiots includetheir doing nothing leading to 911,their continued war against fascism,and their views on Guantanamo Bay.

By the way, she asked, How canyou tell when a Muslim is kil ling you?As hes slitting your throat, hes yellingAllah is great! A lot of people in theaudience did not get the joke.

Ms. Coulter also spent much timeharshly criticizing The New YorkTimes. She said they print a lot of U.S.Government anti-terrorism secrets. Inthe New York Observer, Coulter saidthat her only regret with TimothyMcVeigh is that he did not go to theNew York Times building.

At the start of the question and an-swer period, a student asked aboutGordon Brown, she asked Who?and then said, Oh, yeah yeah, ok, ok,

and then moved on. Gordon Brown isthe Prime Minister of England. Thenshe said that Horror movies are verymoralright after having premaritalsex, they always get killed. Everybodylaughed again.

Some noted that Coulter was con-descending in her question and an-swer period because the students areactually very stupid.

Ann Coulter disagrees with globalwarming. I think its untrue, thatswhy I dont believe it. I think its un-true that there is a dangerous man-made global warming...Every day ithas to be the hottest place some place

in the world. She also said that A na-tion of teepees can not support thiscountry...it is energy and and powerthat builds skyscrapers and elevatorsand nuclear power plants. People, in-formed, clapped again.

Najib AminySkeltor, herself.

4 Vol. XXIX, Issue 11 | Wednesday, April 2, 2007News

Ann Coulter gave me a piece ofgood advice on Monday, March 31.Liberals should go to law school.Awesome. I think I will. As a citizen ofthe Soviet politburo of New York City, asupporter of B. Hussein Obama, pre-sumptive head of an organization thatsJust Angry and follower of a religionthat should start flying planes intobuildings and cutting off peoplesheads to adhere to its roots in the OldTestament, I thank Ann Coulter for al-lowing to categorizing myself in ways Ihad never thought of.

The College Republicans spent$22,000 to bring Ann Coulter to Stony

Brook to eat dinner with them, give ahalf an hour lecture, spend another halfan hour on questions, and then signbooks. Rather then write about theevent itself, Im going to simply print

snippets of enlightening conversation:Im not calling them true Muslims,

theyre calling themselves true Muslimsas they fly planes into buildings and

chop of peoples heads, screaming AllahIs Great.

Guantanamo is a resort that Islam-ofasicts can wait at until the next Dem-ocratic president is elected. Rememberall that talk of interrogators flushing theQuran down the toilet? In reality, theyneed to wear gloves while handling it.The terrorists get eight hours of sleep aday, work hour for two hours, and cantbe woken up for interrogation. Ivebeen treated worse at a Holiday Inn Ex-press. This sounds more like a fresh-man dorm at a state university than atorture camp. If you want to get a goodmeal, you need to go to Guantanamo.

Nancy Pelosi is so dumb, that if theterrorists ever took her hostage, theywouldnt even need to blindfold her.

Why cant we find out how manyIslamofascits weve killed? Until Pe-

traeus testified, that number was a se-cret. Why cant we find out how manypeople weve killed?

Terrorists are just liberals with

more gumption.On Hillary Clinton: We should

send her to Guantanamo. The terroristswould take one look at her and say No!Stop! Who is that Sea Hag? Ill neverhave sex again!

B. Hussein Obama is a weasely sur-vivor, but will be a disaster of a Presi-dent. Our ability to mobilize will be

fabulous. Itll be 1994 all over again.Liberal Republicans are the main

problem and cause of all apathy in theRepublican party.

I like violence in horror movies,but I dont like immorality. By the way,horror movies are very moral: right

after they have premarital sex, they getkilled.

Our God was the one stopping thestonings in the New Testament. Theworst that would happen with a hard-

core, fundamentalist Christian is thathe would really turn the other cheek.But yeah, we also believe in the OldTestament and if Jews start flying air-

planes into our skyscrapers and blow-ing themselves up in public roads,theres not a place in the religion. Imnot going to referee them; they callthemselves true Muslims.

Conservatives are the intellectualwing of the Republican Party.

We must repeal McCain Feingold.We need a few rich people to get behindsomeone terrific, like what happenedwith Ronald Reagan.

These are real Coulter quotes deliv-ered with student money in the SACauditorium.

Thats all. No more witty commen-tary from me. If you really want to do

something, the College Democratsmeet at 6pm on Tuesdays in Union 237.

No is here. Too angry.

Coulter < Good AdviceBy Alex H. Nagler

Ann Coulter Gives a SpeechBy Howie Newsberkman


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Ever since the announcement thatfamed controversial speaker Ann Coul-ter was to arrive in Stony Brook onMarch 31, many students were eithergrateful or furious at her pending ar-rival. Many Facebook groups were cre-ated for the sole purpose of getting thecampus to ignore Coulter, mainly be-cause of her history of making racystatements. The notion that the CollegeRepublicans received their clubs budgetincrease from the decrease of others topay for her arrival irked some oppo-

nents. Some wondered if there wouldbe protest action against her arrival, orother shenanigans.

Instead, Ann Coulters visit went offwithout a hitch. The overall lecture wasvery civil and without any type of dis-ruption or strike. Its safe to say that themajority of those who witnessed Coul-ter speak were not only open-minded,but possibly conservative as well.

Though starting twenty minuteslate, Coulter was introduced by KevinMcKeon of the College Republicans.From there, Coulter commented on themissing seats in the SAC Auditoriumby stating that the liberal students

were possibly at the free clinic aftertheir spring break. It was proof that shewas her polemic, unapologetic, andbrutally honest self all the way throughabout the current elections, terrorism,political scandals, and other issues athand. It is also proof that she is underconstant fire by her opponents: the lib-erals, the Democrats, and the easily of-fended.

Ann Coulter had her good pointsthat both sides of the fence could ap-

preciate. Early in the lecture, Coultermentioned former United States Presi-dent Ronald Reagans deeds in defeat-ing Communism and the Iranianterrorists to free Americans heldhostage for 444 days.

She pointed out how some peopleare complacent or oblivious about ter-rorism and national safety as it was be-fore September 11,and she stated thatsince that ill-fated day there had beenno other terrorist attacks on UnitedStates soil, and that the American gov-ernment and intelligence are con-stantly stopping plots to kill thousandsof Americans.

She also questioned morality bystating, why would Hollywood want

society to think that extra-marital sex,cheating, and thinking that prostitutesare beautiful would be perfectly OK?

Coulter fired off more quick obser-vations, pointing out that the Ten Com-mandments are constantly pulled frommany of the nations institutions whiletaxpayer money is being used to buildMuslim foot-bathing stations aroundcollege campuses. Coulter gained ap-plause from the audience when she saidthat Bush shouldve been impeached if

he werent monitoring Al-Zawahirisphone calls. Plus, she noted that cap-turing Osama bin-Laden would havenot stopped terrorism altogether.

While making her points, it would-nt be Ann Coulter without her consis-tent sharp wit, and stinging barbsaimed at her favorite opponents: theliberals, Democrats, and terrorists (notrelated to the former two). She blamedthe liberals for doing nothing to fightback for the nations safety, and saidthat Guantanamo Bay prisoners are stilltreated well (they get eight hours ofsleep, three meals of day, and two hoursof exercise a day. Ive been fed worse ata Holiday Inn Express.)

She took aim at Hillary Clinton bysaying that if she were sent to Guan-tanamo Bay to speak, the terroristswould be begging to be water-boardedand constantly insulted the name ofDemocratic Presidential candidateBarack Obama as B. Hussein Obama(in reference to the fallen Iraqi dictatorSaddam Hussein).

After Coulters rant about Republi-can presidential nominee John McCain,she ended her speech by saying, theRepublican Party power is in thestreets nowand it will be a bad year,but in America there is only hope.

The question-and-answer session

gave the audience a chance to praiseCoulter on being smart, intelligent, andactive in her work. One student askedCoulter on why she receives a lot ofheat for her comments when key liber-als (such as Michael Moore) get awaywith making theirs against the right.

The session also gave her more plat-form room to discuss immorality, say-ing that horror movies were moral:after a couple has pre-marital sex, theyboth get killed. And when asked about

the Eliot Spitzer scandal, she was ab-solutely transfixed, never having wit-nessed someone in such great powerfall from the pinnacle of society, andcalled him a frenzied masturbator,which elicited laugher from the audi-ence. She continued with Spitzer bysaying, Thats what happens in real lifewhen you behave that way.

After a final round of applause,Coulter welcomed her fans to a book-signing. The Stony Brook student bodywas able to purchase her books beforethe program to have them signed byCoulter.

***************

Ann Coulter may have garnered alot of controversy, and it follows hereverywhere she goes. Those who op-pose her may disagree with her policies,what she says and how she says it, andhow she attacks her opponents. She isone of a very few who goes to thatpoint, and when she does, people arenot used to hearing it: hence shock en-sues. Many people who are offended byCoulters words have a right to be forwhatever reason.

Some could react that way to herjust by relying on her quotes, which isfine. Or, they decide to have a chance to

see her speak openly or to read her andhear to judge for themselves again. Inthe end, people will still agree and dis-agree; however, people will take herwords with them.

The lack of strike or noisy protestagainst Coulters arrival proves thatfreedom of speech is allowed and re-spected. Instead, failing o show up atthe event is synonymous with lack ofsupport for Coulter.

Food for Thought

I was kind of hoping we wouldnt have covered the Ann Coulter event, at all

--Half of The Press Staff

VMFX On Ann CoulterBy Vincent Michael Festa

Whether you like her or not, youcant ignore her. Yep, you guessed it;were talking about Ann Coulter. Be-lieve it or not, Ms. Coulter made quitean impression. On me at the very least.Im a conservative, so I must absolutelyadore Ann Coulter already, right? Ofcourse not. Actually, until her speechtonight, I had a rather negative impres-

sion of her as a result of all her negativepublicity.

To be fair, Ms. Coulter is no idiot.Shes rather intelligent not only in herpolitical analyses, but also her wit at

taking some shots at liberals. In hertalk, she stated that the main reasonwhy conservatives have to remain trueto their beliefs is because liberals willdoom the nation. Hey, her words, notmine. But nonetheless, Ms. Coultermade quite a convincing argument, cit-ing the failure of Jimmy Carters poli-cies against terrorism and Spitzersrecent scandal. In her eyes, it is clearlyevident that Republicans have a historyof being proactive to protect Americanlives and interests. Her analysis dis-

credited the liberal camp for their lackof action when faced with a difficult sit-uation. To paraphrase her: in todayswar on terror, liberals are ready to fallback behind our borders, convinced

that the threat against us has ended.Our greatest success, Coulter said, hasbeen our undoing; with the decreasedterrorist threat, the Republicans can nolonger run on this platform, and all thenave left-wing followers believe thatjust because we havent suffered an at-tack for some time, the terrorists are allgone.

To end her talk, Coulter discussedthe upcoming 2008 presidential elec-tions. She was more than a little dis-mayed at the selection of candidates for

the upcoming election. Clinton, sheclaims, will do some damage with uni-versal health care but none that cant belater repaired, McCain is just a liberalRepublican who doesnt appeal to con-

servatives, and Obama is an Obami-nation who simply cannot be allowedanywhere near the White Hourse.While an ardent McCain support my-self, Ms. Coulter does make a point atthe upcoming nightmare right-wingconservatives face.

To put it simply, while Coulter mayseem a tad too offensive and vicious aswell as as irrational, approaching theevent with an open mind helped me ab-sorb many of her points which I wouldhave previously never wanted to listen

to. While Ill still say that Coulter is alittle too conservative for me to indulgein, in my opinion no liberal writer orspeaker has ever gotten a point acrossso vividly, clearly, and convincingly.

Conserve the Wisdom: A Conservative TakeBy Jonathan Pu, Token Republican

Photo Credit: Najib AminyExit Light. Enter Night.


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The Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly duringthe academic year and twice during summer sessionby The Stony Brook Press, a student run non-profit or-ganization funded by the Student Activity Fee. The opin-ions expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints do notnecessarily reflect those of The Stony Brook Press as awhole. Advertising policy does not necessarily reflecteditorial policy. For more information on advertising anddeadlines call (631)632-6451. Staff meetings are heldWednesdays at 1:00 pm. First copy free. For additionalcopies contact the Business Manager.

The Stony Brook PressSuites 060 & 061Student Union

SUNY at Stony BrookStony Brook, NY 11794-3200

(631) 632-6451 Voice(631) 632-4137 Fax

Email: [email protected]

6

editorialsVol. XXIX, Issue 11 | Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Editorial Board

Executive EditorBryan Hasho

Managing EditorJames Laudano

Associate EditorAlex H. Nagler

Business ManagerAdina Silverbush

Production ManagerJesse Schoepfer

News EditorNajib Aminy

Features EditorJonathan Singer

Arts EditorAndrew Fraley

Photo EditorsJohn Caboose ODellRoman Sheydvasser

Copy EditorsNick Eaton

Katie KnowltonEmma Kobolakis

WebmasterChris Williams

AudiomasterVincent Michael Festa

OmbudsmanSam Goldman

Minister of ArchivesAlex Walsh

Distribution ManagerDavid K. Ginn

Layout Design byJowy Romano

StaffKotei AokiRoss BarkanShaun BennettAndrew BernsteinMatt BraunsteinJ.C. ChanDoug CionWhiskers T. ClownJake ConarckLaura CooperCaroline DAgatiJoe DonatoTaurean DyerMichael FelderJoe FilippazzoAmelia FischerJamie Freiermuth

Ilyssa FuchsRob GilheanyJoanna GoodmanStephanie HayesMarta GyvelMo IbrahimAndrew JacobElizabeth KaplanOlga KaplunJack KatsmanRebecca KleinhautBryan LewAntony LinIris Lin

Cindy LiuCat LundTia MansouriJustin MeltzerLeeza MenonChris MellidesJames MessinaJamie MignoneSteve McLindenChris OliveriBen van OvermeireGrace PakRob PearsallAndrew PernickJon PuAamer QureshiNirmala Ramsaran

Kristine RenigenBerta RezikDave RobinJoe SafdiaNatalie SchultzScott SilsbeRose SlupskiAmberly TimperioLena TumasyanMarcel VotluckaBrian WasserMatt WillemainKelly Yu

We at The Press have a long tradition

of doing sophomoric things that agitatepeople for the sake of agitating them,printing obscenities, and using distaste-ful covers to get messages across. Weprint satire where we will, make fun ofprofessors and administration freely,and are the first to describe things as wesee them. For this, we do not apologize.We exist as a free open forum to extendthe boundaries of the First Amendmenton this campus while providing ourreadership with insightful articles con-cerning things they will not read aboutelsewhere. This is why we write.

At the College Media Awards, webrought copies of the most recent issue

with me, placed them on a table full ofother newspapers, then observed as var-ious people picked up the issue and readit. Some glanced from page to page,reading only snippets. Others stoppedat an article they liked, read it, and con-tinued skimming. Then there were thefew that read nearly the entire issue,cover to cover, amazed at the libertieswe took. Some even finished, turned thepaper over, and started from the begin-ning all over again.

Once they put the paper down, weapproached them, introduced ourselves,gave them The Press business card, and

simply asked them, So, what did you

think?The response we received was over-whelming. These are people who hadno association with the university, arenot our regular readership base, andwere not afraid to be brutally honestwhen the situation called for it. Theywere traditional students at four-yearinstitutions, older students at commu-nity colleges, professors of journalism,and media advisors. They saw us as acreative newspaper, one that saw wherethe boundary lines were and disre-garded them. They were impressed byour huevos grandes, or huge balls.Matt has a fat cock? Theyd want my

resignation letter on their desk the nextmorning mused one professor as heturned the page and noticed a headerthat stated just that.

You guys get to swear. We never getto swear, not even if the interview in-cluded swearing or if it works in thecontext of the article, bemoaned a stu-dent whose paper wasnt comfortablewith the idea of profanity.

There isnt any faculty that steps inat any time? This was one of the morepressing issues. Our advisor, Isobel,thankfully, doesnt intervene nearly asmuch as she could and serves as an ex-

cellent firefighter whenever the admin-

istration tries to raise any alarms overthings weve printed. Other papers (thatare not independent of their university,like some of the bigger universitydailies) have weekly meetings with theiradvisors, or include them in their edi-tors meeting. We dont do that.

Swearing and oversight aside, a gooddeal of those we talked to were im-pressed at the caliber of some of the sto-ries we put out. They laughed whenthey were supposed to laugh, got titlereferences, and could differentiate satirefrom real stories. Some had dealt withKiller Coke campaigns on their owncampus and were happy to see other

schools not only cover it, but cover itwell. This statement of covering thingswell abounded in comments on otherpieces, including well-written editorialsand insightful letters, two of the corner-stones of any good newspaper.

The Press exists because it has to, be-cause college students are often idiots,and because there must be those whosejob it is to keep free speech alive on acampus. Were not about to change thatanytime soon. If you have a problemwith us, just put down the paper andwalk away.

Why We Write

Wite for e P!

Meetings Every Wednesday at 1PM, Union Building 060

The Constitution failed miserably,again, mustering 400 votes in opposi-tion to 200 in favor of centralizing au-thority in the executive branch of the

USG. Were happy. And to show ourhappiness, heres the Constitution wear-ing mittens from Issue 4. Why does itget to wear mittens? Because it can.

News-In-Brief


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7

lettersThe Stony Brook Press

E-mail your letters to [email protected]

Dear SB Press

Ok so I know SB Press isnt a real newspaper but its the only one i actually read and do you know why??? Because youguys curse and dont hold back. I myself am trying to cut back on the F word but i still f ind it IMMENSELY funny toread in a paper. Plus theres pretty cool things brought up in the Press which i wouldnt have know if you all didntcurse so yeah Shut The Fuck Up...people curse. DealThanks for being You!--Marian

Marian

Thanks for the response, Marian. (Although, were not sure what you mean by [not] a real newspaper).

We appreciate the feedback! And, since you seem to enjoy it, heres a few curse words for you.

Fuck, shit, cock, balls, dick.

Love,

The Stony Brook Press

This piece was originally written as a letter to the editor of the Stony Brook Independent, another campus newspaper. It is aresponse to an opinion piece appearing in the Independent calling for the resignation of former New York Governor Spitzer.While discussion of the Spitzer story may have died down, this letter contrasts the situation in New York with national issuesthat remain important. It is appearing in The Press because, after two weeks of inaction, the Independent editorial leader-ship decided they would not publish the letter without significantly censoring it. - Matt

Editor, Stony Brook Independent,

Writing in his op-ed The Steamroller Should Step Down, Independentcontributor Nathan Shapiro makes anumber of accurate points while discussing the high profile scandal surrounding New York Governor Eliot Spitzerswhoremongering. Shapiro appropriately criticizes Spitzers behavior and, more importantly, his hypocrisy. Shapiro rightlyconcludes that the only appropriate course for Spitzer is resignationin fact, since the time of Shapiros writing, Spitzerhas announced his imminent resignation. Shapiro is right, but in joining the chorus focusing on Spitzer he is missing the

forest for the trees. The shocking and salacious story of the Governor has received a disproportionate share of public at-tention, while news and opinion writers neglect the incomprehensibly larger tragedies of the ongoing occupation of Iraq.

When attention is focused on the cost of war it is usually dedicated to the grim count of American service mem-bers who have given their lives or the obscene drain on the US Treasury. The difficulty of digesting those figures oftenprevents further investigation into the complexities of the damage done by the US invasion and occupation. Broadeningour view to the injuries, maimings and mental traumas suffered by our soldiers still doesnt scratch the surface of the di-rect human costthe thousands of American dead and that many more wounded are dwarfed by the Iraqi civilian deada figure which gives way to millions of Iraqi refugees forced to flee from their homes. Iraq has also seen the decimation ofthe natural environment, the economy, civilian infrastructure and religious, cultural and historic/archeological treasures.

But if it is prostitutes Shapiro wants to wring his hands about, the invasion of Iraq is the scandal for him. BloggerBob Fertik puts the Spitzer scandal into perspective when he writes about the findings of another Independent, this onefrom London. Among the 1.2 million destitute Iraqis in Syria (about one third of the wars refugees) are an estimated50,000 prostitutes, some as young as 13. Hypocrisy-seekers will be thrilled to note that Bush has vigorously spoken outagainst international sex trafficking. Perhaps Shapiro will comment on the news proportionally, and follow his pieceabout Spitzer with 50,000 articles calling for the resignation of President George W. Bush, whose administration has been

documented as making more than 900 public lies in support of the illegitimate war.It is interesting to compare the calls for the resignation or impeachment of Eliot Spitzer and George Bush. Edito-

rialist Shapiro was certainly not alone in calling for the Governor to step down, and it didnt take more than 48 hours forgrandstanding Republican state legislators to put teeth into those calls with the threat of impeachment proceedings. Con-trast this with the example of the unelected president Bush, who lied to the public and to Congress to drive the countryinto a devastating war, who systematically and illegally spied on US citizens, who has disgraced our nation with the openacceptance of torture, who has undermined our national security to punish critics and serve the interests of importantcampaign contributors, who has betrayed our constitution with his assumption of unprecedented executive power andeight hundred years of Western jurisprudence with his dystopian detention centers and kangaroo courts. The criminal,hypocrite Bush should, of course, resign along with Spitzer. But in the presidents case, no opposition party threatens im-peachment.

Stony Brook residents are represented in Congress by Democrat Tim Bishop. Bishops office in Washington can bereached at 202.225.3826. Or, if you prefer to make a local call, you can call his people in Coram at 631.696.6500. Afteryou identify yourself as a constituent, ask Bishops staffers if their boss and his party intend to investigate possible im-peachable offenses by the President, should he refuse to follow the example of Governor Spitzer and step down.

If Bishop and the other Washington Democrats wont do their jobif they decide it is politically expedient to neg-lect their sworn oath to preserve the Constitutiondont forget and dont settle on Election Day. There are other inde-pendent and third party candidates who appreciate that Spitzers escapades should be the last thing on our mind.

- Matt Willemain


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8 Vol. XXIX, Issue 11 | Wednesday, April 2, 2008Letters

Dear Mr. Na[gl]er,

Let me begin by saluting you for keeping the faith in American democracy after Bushs 2004 reelection. After observing such a travesty of democracy, I mustadmit, I permanently lost much of the admiration I once held for both the American people and our political system. But you have admirably and relentlessly per-sisted in your quest for justice. I envy your strong will.

I also must express what genius I genuinely believe you possess. Your beautiful brand of pragmatic idealism is exactly what the world needs in this sometimesseemingly hopeless day and age. As our nation continues to plunge in the wrong direction, dragged through the filthy, murky mud of injustice and corruption byour truly felonious leaders, you blatantly, intelligently, and fearlessly call out all the guilty parties on their nefarious actions, as well as inaction. You also excel be-yond many hard-line critics and opposition factions by not only addressing deep-seated problems but also by exposing their roots, rather than simply hoveringaround various surface issues. You offer viable, feasible solutions. You are a bold and brilliant political actor.

Because I understand and appreciate your great mind, I regret to say that I am perplexed by your perpetual presence on the federal campaign trail. As a pro-fessional analyst of the flaws of the American political system one of, if not the most accurate of them all your participation in presidential campaigns dumb-founds me. I would think that with your realization of the great inherent flaws of our federal election system that you would seek to adjust the system rather thansubject yourself to inevitable and perpetual failure within it. The bottom line is that you can never be elected president, nor can any other independent or thirdparty candidate, because of our two-party, winner-take-all election system. Without proportionate representation and a multi-party system, third party candidatesand independents will forever suffer the lack of citizens faith that results from virtual absence on the political scene. Sure, people like you and I can lobby, speak,and campaign all we want. But our moderate, security-seeking populace will never trust us radicals enough to give us a place in big government because we havevirtually no presence in office; no beacon from which to prove ourselves worthy of their votes. If they cant even sample us, they will never purchase wholesale.

We both know that the Democratic Party is not a proper opposition party. We both believe that corporations should be our servants, not our masters. Weboth agree that taxpayer money should not be lavishly expended on corporate welfare. We both acknowledge that the Iraq War is a criminal escapade, and that itshould not cost us one more dollar or one more life. We both observe that Palestinian rights need to be respected, and that Palestine should have its own statealongside with Israel. However, none of our visions can ever be realized if we retain faith in an outdated, inefficient system. That is why, though I admire your

courage and objectivity, I think you are naive to believe in American political democracy. You have stated that the people have the power; if they only realized it,organized it, and focused it. Of course, this is true. A mass majority of American citizens could, hypothetically, radically morph their values, realize the disen-franchisement that results from the countrys (and the worlds) corrupt power structure, and elect you into office. But the reality is that this will never happen.The people who are willing to realize, organize, and focus their power are an invisible minority and will remain so until electoral adjustments are enacted. Soplease, Mr. Na[gl]er, dont squander your brilliance. Stop running for president, and focus your efforts on a more productive campaign: election reform.

-Ryan DuBois

Dear Mr. DuBois,

Thank you for your letter. I didnt know anyone knew about my failed presidential run in 2004. I was sixteen at the time, it seemed like a good idea. Except forthat whole not being al lowed constitutionally part.

I am a genius. I think its time more people realize that. Calling out guilty parties for their nefarious deeds is something Im good at. But more importantly, Iam a genius. And yes, the American public will never trust a skinny Jewish kid from Brooklyn to lead their country; thats their loss. As for the validity of the Dem-ocratic Party, yes, they are pushovers at times. Thats why I ran as a Bull Moose in 2004. I think this country is ready to elect a man who feels that Teddy Roosevelt

had a great idea for a separatist party with an awesome name.Then you say Im brilliant. And that I shouldnt squander said brilliance. Well put. Ill keep my brilliance to myself. And as for your suggestion, Im already onestep ahead of you. Due to the constitutional restraints ofThe Press, Ill be unable to remain Associate Editor next year when I become the President of the CollegeDemocrats. Im also joining the USGs elections board, believing that light is the best antiseptic.

Thanks for thinking Im awesome, a genius, and brilliant. More people should use these adjectives to describe me.

Yours truly,

Alex H. NaglerKing of all Turkmen

Comments on the Results of USG Constitutional Referendum(From the Only USG Senator to Vote Against it last Fall)

As most of you have probably heard, the recent USG Constitutional Amendment failed by a two-to-one margin. What has struck me most about this proposalis how passionately so many of you have worked to stop it both in this past referendum and the one that failed last fall. As the only Senator to vote against the pro-

posal both times in the Senate, I feel uniquely qualified to comment on why the proposed Constitution was rejected.Even though I thought many changes were positive, I did not support the proposal because I felt that the negative changes (such as changing the Vice Presi-

dents to similar appointed positions) were too detrimental. Many of the other students I talked to also expressed that they agreed with some changes, but ulti-mately voted against it because of the points that they did not like. Most students wished to address individual changes rather than a take it or leave itreferendum. These are very valid objections and seem to be the predominant opposing view.

Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of animosity on both sides of the proposal that has spawned from of the debate. I have even heard supporters of the Con-stitution claim that fear-mongering was the main attribute of the opposition. I have heard equally negative sentiments expressed about the writers of the Consti-tution as well. I think it is important to realize that neither view is accurate. The majority of those who have opposed the proposed Constitution have had veryvalid arguments and those that wrote the Constitution have worked tirelessly in support of what they believed to be in the best interests of the USG. Both sides de-serve applause for their efforts and hard work.

Indeed, throughout this process I have seen quality debate about the proposal and I believe such debate is ultimately beneficial to make the USG better in thefuture and more in touch with the student body. I truly hope your voices, especially your message of wanting to approve each individual change, are heard by yourrepresentatives in the coming years. I will continue to make it one of my priorities.

Overall, I would like to thank all of the students who voted on the proposed USG Constitution either way. Participation in your student government is essen-tial to ensure that your voice is heard and that the USG operates in a manner consistent with the will of the student body. It is important for you to remember that

all officeholders of the USG are here to serve you and ensure that the nearly $200 that you pay into the student activity fee each year is being put to good use.

Thank you,John KriscenskiUSG Senator, College of Arts and Sciences


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Thursday nights at Stony Brook,while usually associated with intense rev-elry and equally intense Friday morninghangovers, can usually provide cultural

entertainment and display the diversityfound on our campus if one looks hardenough. Last Thursday, I attended thePersian Cultural Associations annualNorooz Party. For those who are unfa-miliar with this, Iranians celebrate theirnew year based on their own non-Gre-gorian calendar in a celebration calledNorooz, which coincides with the firstday of spring. Never heard of it? Well, itslegitimate enough to merit its ownGoogle logo for March 20th! So, to wel-come the new year of 1387, the PCA cer-tainly kept its guests entertained bymeans of food, film, comedic entertain-ment, and dancing. The group deserves

credit for the tightly-packed variety theywere able to provide. However, it beggedthe question of whether it was too muchentertainment, given the quintessentiallyPersian tradition of getting into the

swing of things quite late.The food traveled all the way here

from Ravagh, Roslyns very own PersianGrill. Stony Brook students not in atten-dance truly missed out on a meal thatwould have provided a respite from theSACs toasty sub and cheeseburger mo-notony. There were two different kinds

of rice (one with herbs, one plain, bothwith saffron), several different varietiesof meat kabob, and, for vegetarians, therewas salad and Kashk-Bademjan, whichis cooked eggplant in tomato sauce withseasoning and yogurt. Deserts includedbaklava and cream puffs. I ask you, StonyBrook students, when was the last timeyou had a decent cream puff?

While eating we were shown twofilms, West Bank Story and Roya, whichboth featured the comedian that wouldbe entertaining later in the evening. WestBank Story, a musical comedy playing offofWest Side Story, is the story of a bud-ding love between a humus stand cashier

and an army checkpoint officer, told witha mixture of comedy and political rele-vance that convinced me that it unques-tionably deserved its Best Short FilmOscar. Roya was a glimpse into what

Iranian life would be like if America de-cided to attack Iran; however, the moviegot cut off so that Eslam Anthony Shams,the main attraction of the evening, couldget on with his comedy routine.

As for Eslam, I dont know how harsha critic I am qualified to be, but I can saythis: his cleverness is exclusive. Of

comedic timing and pertinent materialhe had plenty, but audience memberswho spoke no Farsi were, in the words ofShams himself, screwed. Through hisYou might be Persian routine, I couldeasily follow his rapid interchange be-tween Farsi and English, but I could nothelp but feel pangs of regret for the fewnon-speakers around me. When even Icouldnt identify the popular Persiansingers about whom he was doing im-pressions, I wondered how in tune withthe modern aspects of my culture I reallywas. Then again, he is based in LA, somaybe its a West Coast thing. Eslam wasquick to say that his work is ground-

breaking for Iranians (who are notknown to be the funniest of peoples);however, most of his material was basedon the sort of fodder that my relatives useas jokes or that I can find online. When

he finally did get to the material that Ifound truly original-humorous transla-tions of the lyrics to Persian songs-hehad to give up the spotlight so that thedancing could begin before any moreguests left. I am sure DJ Kasra enter-tained brilliantly, but I guiltily admit thatI was one of those guests. I was more in-

terested in the finale of Americas BestDance Crew than my own dance floorskills, or lack thereof.

While I personally lament the factthat I couldnt persuade any of my Amer-ican friends to attend this event, I won-der if they would have truly taken awayanything from the experience. The co-medians best jokes were in Farsi, and theother major highlight, West Bank Story(which isnt even directly about Irani-ans), can easily be rented and watched.The Persian Club ran a successful event,but for the amount of trouble they spentadvertising to Stony Brook students, Idoubt many non-Iranians would have

understood the night fully. But, truth betold, anyone who didnt attend did missout on five dollars worth of food that isbetter than anything Stony Brook hasever provided.

Partying Like Its 1387By Tia Mansouri

The media has a very special, yet dif-ficult, task to undertake. It is our job to in-form the populace about what is going on,while simultaneously protecting the in-terests of those who may be in danger.There are some controversial things, likePentagon Papers and torture photos, withwhich a journalist is obligated to illumi-nate and inform their readership. Otherthings, like the identity of active, covert,CIA agents, should not be exposed, espe-cially for the sole reason of political retri-bution. This is the story of Valerie Plame

Wilson, ex-CIA agent and subject of a po-litical revenge that should have never beenthrust upon her.

For reasons still unknown by many,The Press received an invitation to attendthe College Media Advisors Spring 2008conference in New York City. The keynotespeaker of this event was Mrs. Wilson,Americas most famous CIA agent. Wil-son, 44, is the wife of Joseph C. Wilson IV,former United States National SecurityCouncil Senior Director for African Af-fairs and Diplomat. Ambassador Wilsonsname should sound familiar, as he is theauthor of an editorial in the WashingtonPost concerning the supposed sale of yel-

lowcake uranium from Africa to Iraq.This trip was in response to Bushs six-

teen-word statement from the 2003 Stateof the Union, The British Governmenthas learned that Saddam Hussein recentlysought significant quantities of uraniumfrom Africa. Wilson, commended by for-mer President Bush as a true patriot forhis work, expected potential blowback onthe piece to be directed at him, prepping afolder just in case.

What was not expected was RobertNovak authoring a column in the Wash-ington Post that declared Valerie Wilson aCIA Agent, specifically an agent opera-tive on weapons of mass destruction.Wilson neither could nor would talkfreely of her work at the agency, but notedthat it was her job to figure out somethingyou would think to be critical to any war

on terror. Her job was to figure out whatIraqi scientists were doing with the alu-

minum pipes that could potentially beused to fission uranium. She gathered in-telligence on the whereabouts of these sci-entists, of the pipes, and of the moneybeing used to pay for both. Her intelli-gence led her to believe that the Iraqi gov-ernment was not anywhere near capableof acquiring weapons of mass destruction.She was also working on the same thingin Iran, but now both she and the covertorganization she used are defunct withher outing.

Wilson recalled the day that then-Sec-retary of State Colin Powell gave hissmoking gun testimony to the UnitedNations and watching the telecast at CIAheadquarters. She recalled being aghast at

what she heard. If these things were true,then all the classified intelligence she hadseen was completely wrong. But the moreshe thought about it, the less likely itseemed. She had access to high levels ofintelligence, not as high as senior admin-istration officials, but high enough to getthe general overview of what was going onconcerning Iraq and WMDs. She realizedthat the man Powell was stating to be areliable source was in fact a drunkard, awomanizer, and a source of sub-par intel-ligence at best.

When not talking about her outing forpolitical reasons, Wilson discussed thedays when she was a CIA agent and some

of the good times she had. She recalledThe Farm, a covert ops training camp

where agents were trained on how to survive the intelligence-gathering worldthrough simulated diplomacy. Theywould be subject to methods of interro-gation (But not waterboarding. Water-boarding is torture) and learn how toovercome these trials while keeping up asteady cover story. They learned how togather intelligence in a simulation of acountry with years of ethnic, social, reli-gious, and military history. This simula-tion prepared her, and the rest of itsgraduates, to survive in the real world. Shealso was the best shot with an AK-47 inher class, something that she had evi-dently not told her husband when theywere married. When it was revealed by a

reporter, Joe Wilson jokingly commented,it changed the dynamic of our marriage.In her closing remarks, Mrs. Wilson

urged those in attendance not to let herstory tarnish the reputation of the federalgovernment as an institution and to con-sider a career in the service of the country.Just because she was attacked by a currentadministration does not mean that all ad-ministrations will be as petty and vindic-tive and willing to compromise nationalsecurity for reasons of revenge. But, thisone did. And for that, she cannot forgivethem.

Alex H. Nagler still wants to be an Ar-

ticle III Justice.

CIA Agents Mouth LeaksBy Alex H. Nagler

Photo Credit: Alex NaglerWe shouldnt know which one of these women was in the CIA


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10

featuresVol. XXIX, Issue 11 | Wednesday, April 2, 2008

More Coulter? Hmph

Page 12

DMX? That Aint No Fuckin Name

Page 14

Inside the Features section-

Normal Guys!

Page 10

Last year this newspaper publishedChampagne, an award winningsatire that addressed various controversial issues, like how much SonicYouth sucks. In the article, I make astatement that declared I would neverreturn to the city of Buffalo, after goingto school at SUNY Buffalo for almosttwo years.

There are good reasons to not go toBuffalo. I dont like cities with extremepoverty. I dont care for spicy chickenwings, and The Buffalo Bills are a shittyfootball team. Despite it all, I made the

decision to visit my old school overspring break.In Champagne, I mentioned that I

had joined a fraternity while I was atBuffalo. I still cannot tell you the nameof the fraternity, but I can tell you thatfor a while I was against what they did,and was looking into excommunicatingmyself from the organization. Guys likemyself typically do not join fraternities.For one thing, I never drink NaturalLight, Keystone Light, or Bud Light.But I pledged the frat in the fall of 2005,and now Im in it for life (Famousalumni of the fraternity include RonPopeil, Gene Wilder, and Wolf Blitzer).

When I contacted one of my pledgebrothers, he was glad to hear from meafter a period of time without commu-nication. I wanted to visit because Buf-falo is far away, over 500 miles fromStony Brook, and I wanted to get awayfrom home for spring break. SinceSUNY Buffalos spring break was oneweek before Stony Brooks break,school would be in session for the week

of my visit. That meant I was able to ex-perience life at my old school as if I was

still there.Academically, SUNY Stony Brook isa better school than SUNY Buffalo. Butin terms of student life, Buffalo comesout on top. SUNY Buffalo is split be-tween two campuses, North and South.The school was founded in 1846 withthe construction of a campus in what isnow the northeast end of Buffalo.When the school expanded, it led tocontroversy because the new buildingswere erected in suburban Amherst, 3.5

miles away from the city of Buffalo.This newer, larger campus is known asNorth Campus, and the originalschool is South Campus Today, urbanplanners can only speculate as to whatwould have happened to the city if newbuildings were built in downtown Buf-

falo (SUNY Buffalo has a school of ar-chitecture and urban planning).

A neighborhood has developedaround South Campus. Universitybuses run to and from suburb to city,and bars are within walking distancefrom South Campus. In Buffalo, lastcall is at 4AM. The neighborhood,dubbed University Heights, is wheremany students choose to hang out and

live in off campus houses, and this in-cludes my fraternitys house.

I told my brothers (bros) that I wassorry I had to leave Buffalo two yearsago. They responded as if they didntcare. I saw this as a good sign.

With regards to my illness, I acceptall of the blame. Kids cut themselvesbecause they are sick, and I was simplynot well. In the original Champagne,I wrote that I was too ill to be socialduring my freshman year at Buffalo. Inreality, all I did was waste money. Mystudent activity fee paid for events oncampus, so I had every right to attendStudents Against Sweatshops meetings.However, I didnt go to the Snoop Doggconcert my second semester because

Snoop Dogg sucks.People hate fraternities because theyare elitist. This means my frat genuinelycares about me, because they wouldnthave wanted me to pledge if they didntwant me in their group. And rushevents are open to anyone who wantsto attend. For some reason I clickedwith the guys who were there.

When I arrived in Buffalo the firstday of my break, I decided to stay soberthe whole time. I claimed to bestraightedge, even though I had drankthe week before (I lied). By the middleof the week I lightened up and decidedto get intoxicated. Its what normal col-

lege students do, although I bought myown six-pack of Red Stripe instead ofdrinking the provided Bud Light. Thiswas out of personal preference, but alsobecause I hadnt paid my fraternitydues for two years.

It was nice hanging out with nor-mal guys for a week. And good God,are my fraternity brothers normal.They played Madden in career mode

for so long that they beat the game. Ap-parently after a certain number of sea-

sons, the game ends sometime in thelate 21 century. Their basement has notone but two empty kegs of KeystoneLight, and more than four beer pongtables. March Madness began overspring break, making me subject tocountless hours of watching studentsfrom other schools play basketballwithout any monetary incentive (howweird is that?).

I also visited the office ofGenera-tion, the magazine that I used to writefor. They didnt remember who I was,and I didnt care. (For the record, Inever told the people in the office thatI was a former staff member). In the

real world of journalism, the turnoverrate of writers is high.So perhaps I lied when I wrote that

I had no reason to ever return to Buf-falo. I genuinely enjoyed my SpringBreak, even though it was freezing allthe time and there were too manyhomeless people and Christian radiostations. It still sucks that I didnt getlaid at the mixer on Friday night.

Now I am a student at Stony Brook,a school that the Princeton Reviewranked number one in terms of leasthappy students. In Buffalo you couldbuy lunch for five dollars on campus,and (for some reason) there are plenty

of options for vegetarians. SUNY Buf-falo got Ann Coulter andJanet Reno tospeak, at the same event nonetheless.But shit happens. I got sick, and then Igot sick some more. Now I have count-less friends at Stony Brook. For a whileI thought I had countless enemies atBuffalo.

Death and Destruction in Buffalo! (Champagne Revisited)

By Jon Singer

ey played Madden

in career mode for solong that they beat thegame. Apparently ...[it] ends sometime inthe late 21st century.


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The Stony Brook Press 11Features

Want to be the very model of a Modern Major General?E-mail The Pressat

[email protected]

On March 14th, the Wang CenterAuditorium hosted the unusual sight ofgraduate students laughing and smil-ing. This rare event was due in part toJorge Chams hour-long lecture on TheArt of Procrastination, about the gru-eling, yet comical lifestyle of a graduatestudent. Cham is the creator of the syn-dicated comic, PhD, which stands forPiled High and Deeper.

Chams presentation touched onmany aspects of the life of a graduatestudent. He touched on a few

Wikipedia facts about Stony BrookUniversity, showed some of his comics,as well as a few formulas Cham cleverlycreated himself, such as Newtons Lawsof Procrastination. An example wouldbe his first law, which states that a per-son who is procrastinating will con-tinue procrastinating unless a forceimpedes on the person. In addition,Cham created a graph that tracked thelevel of motivation for graduate stu-dents. According to Chams motivationgraph, at the beginning of graduateschool, the average student is highlymotivated and excited to go to gradschool. Once school starts, the high

level of motivation rapidly declines andcontinues to decline with only a few in-creases here and there.

In addition, Cham spoke in greatdetail about the treatment graduate stu-dents receive in grad school. He men-tioned how many grad students find ithard to get used to being the average,the nuisance of being a teaching assis-tant, as well as doing anything to pleasegraduate professors. Cham also spokeabout how being a graduate student en-ables one to gain skills in two importantthings, clerical data, and PowerPoint.Cham joked that he learned to performan hour-long PowerPoint presentation

on virtually anything, even procrasti-

nation.Before Cham focused on drawing

comics, he, like many students, fell intothe category of students sucked into thelong and arduous path of institutional-ized education. Jorge Cham receivedhis PhD in Mechanical Engineering atStanford University, and went on to be-come a full-time researcher at the Cal-ifornia Institute of Technology. Chamsstudies focused on robots, specifically

the brain machine interfaces that areresponsible for making a robot behavein certain ways.

During his time as a graduate stu-dent, Cham began drawing comics topass the time and as he put it to pro-crastinate. It was nine years ago thatCham first had his comics published inThe Stanford Daily, an independentnewspaper serving Stanford University.Now, Chams comics serve as a sense ofjoy and relief to hundreds of thousandsof graduate students worldwide, ex-pressing the feeling that graduate stu-dents are not alone in the problems

they face.

Much of Chams presentation wasreceived with applause and laughter.Nilsson Holguin, 25, from Queens, NY,said that Cham portrayed an accuraterepresentation of graduate life. It wasnot only funny but a lot of the things hesaid were so true. Holguin, who is agraduate student studying biomedicalengineering, enjoys going to work latein the afternoon, but says one of theworst things about being a graduate

student is doing so much in a day, andthen asking, what have I done all day?Entan Chatav, 23, from Stony Brook,NY, said he read the comics online previous to the presentation and foundthem very funny. I thought Cham was very funny, especially the joke abouthow much graduate students get paid.Cham explained that if Stony Brook re-ceives $184,000,000 in funding of re-search, and there are 2,500 graduatestudents, then each graduate studentreceives $73,600. However, this is notthe case, as Chatav says that he getspaid around $20,000.

Paula Espinosa, 29, from Queens,

NY, says she very much enjoyed Chamspresentation. Laughing, she questionswhy she is in graduate school in thefirst place. Espinosa, who is in the fieldof Ecology and Evolution, says herbiggest problem is flexibility and time.Like Holguin, she too says she findsherself asking what she had done withthe day. Noel Corrosall, 30, fromOcanas, Colombia says he liked thepresentation. However, Corrosall askedCham a question about what hethought could be done to improve theproblems of graduate school. Corrosallsaid he felt like Cham did not really an-swer the question. I mean he wasfunny, but he kept mentioning many

problems that we face as graduate stu-dents, but he offered no solution.Javier Monzon, 26, from Bogot,

Colombia, says It was one of the besttalks I have heard in a very long time.Monzon says that he kept laughing be-cause all of the things Cham were talk-ing about were so true. Whether it wasthe clerical data, or the PowerPoint, orsimply the lack of flexibility of time,Monzon says that it something allgraduate students must go through, andI guess it is funny but sad at the sametime. It is easier to laugh about it.

Following the hour-long presenta-tion was a book signing with a line of

nearly a hundred. When asked abouthis parents reaction to him being acomic instead of doing something withhis PhD in Mechanical Engineering,Cham replied, They are still in shock,but overall they are supportive. Whenasked if he would stop drawing comicsand pursue a career in mechanical en-gineering, Cham simply replied,Maybe, but I am very happy with whatI am doing right now.

As the hour long presentation ofThe Art of Procrastination came to aclose, many of the graduate studentswho had filled up the Wang Center Au-ditorium fled back to their residency

and laboratories and returned to work.

The Art of ProcrastinationBy Najib Aminy

Photo Credit: Najib AminyWith great power comes great responsibility. -Uncle Ben


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12 Vol. XXIX, Issue 11 | Wednesday, April 2, 2008Food For Thought

What do you call a cow who flies a plane into a building? A moooslim

--A.C.

Features

Democracy, freedom, justice, andintelligence are things many peoplethink about when they think of Amer-ica. I, on the other hand, deem thesewords synonymous with that lovelygoddess Ms. Ann Coulter, my lover. OnMonday March 31, my dream was tocome true. I was going to ask AnnCoulter out and get married and livehappily ever after.

Thanks to the College Republicansincreasing their budget to a whopping$30,000 and spending roughly around

$20,000 of Student Activities money inaddition to another $1,600 on security,a dream of mine was to be fulfilled. TheCollege Republicans, who did a superbjob with advertising the blessing of Ms.Coulters visit, forced me to begincounting down the days to ask my loverout and begin a new life of die-hardconservatism.

You see, I was once a tree-hugging,pot-smoking, civil-rights-advocating,baby- aborting, hip-hop-listening, reli-gion-tolerating liberal. Thankfully, I amno longer. My messiah, analogous toJesus in Christianity, or the imperfect version in Judaism, was none other

than Ms. Coulter. I first became awareof Ms. Coulter when there was no im-portant news that needed to be covered,thus causing the media to graciouslyallow Ms. Coulter to fill the space. Thefirst time I heard her speak was June 21,2002 at 4:27 EST. My ears filled with ec-stasy.

There she sat, outside, on a warmsummer day, her black blouse flowingwith the wind, her face illuminating

rays of sunshine, her golden locksshimmering with beauty. I never be-lieved a woman could be both beauti-ful and intelligent, not until I saw AnnCoulter. I began listening to her and re-alized that everything she said was true.Everything. After a couple of weeks Ihad hit my nirvana state of conser-vatism. I, like Coulter, believed liberalsare leeches sucking the life out of theAmerican government. I was disgustedwith how unpatriotic these liberals arefor empathizing with the prisoners at

Guantanamo, as well as how likely it isthat the Democratic party is most likelyformed from a group of brain-dead

people.As March 31 was approaching, I

began to lose sleep and wake up earlierthan I normally do. It was like Christ-mas morning, but only better. AnnCoulter was coming! Each and everyday I would reread her books, watchher interviews, and prepare myself for

the moment I would ask Ann Coulterout.

All of a sudden, I realized there was

a problem. The same night Ms. Coulterwas to grace this wretched liberal cam-pus of Stony Brook, I was to take a cal-culus exam. The moment I realizedthis, my heart skipped ten beats, mystomach was upset for the duration ofa week, and I cried myself to sleep eachand every night. I hated calculus, Ihated my Russian professor who taughtme nothing, I hated it all. And now, myexam was the only thing holding meback from my future wife.

Then I asked, what would Ann

Coulter do? Before writing anotherbook or trying to get on another show,or kindly accepting $20,000 to go a uni-

versity to speak for an hour or so, shewould pray to God. That was I did. Iprayed to God. I realized that thiswhole scenario was essentially a testfrom God himself. So, I prepared my-self to take the exam andask my loverout. It was Gods will.

The morning of March 31st, I lay on

my padded mattress at 5:30 a.m. I real-ized that I had not slept since I went tobed at 8:30 p.m. the previous night. I

wanted to get beauty rest and look well-rested when I asked Ms. Coulter out.The day went on, with my nervousnessslightly increasing with each tick andtock of the clock. I studied for my use-less calculus exam to help pass the time.I am sure Ms. Coulter would love tohold a conversation about calculus.

I studied and headed to my room todrop off my books and get ready forMs. Coulter. I walk through the SACwhen I recognize the presence of thenumerous New York State Troopers,

police officers, and paid security. Ithought little of it. But as I walkedoutside, I noticed two photographerswaiting idly as if someone famous

was coming. I realized Ann Coulterwas on her way!My exam was in an hour and a

half and Ann Coulter would be com-ing soon, so like any good husband,I awaited the arrival of my soon-to-be wife. I heard sirens blazing in thebackground, the roar of a fire truck.My body grew tense. She was com-ing soon.

After numerous cars pulled up,there was still no sign of Ms. Coul-ter. I looked at my phone and I real-

ized I would have to take my dreadedexam. Finally, I saw a police envoymaking its way towards the back of the

SAC, and there she was, sitting on thepassenger side of an old, navy CrownVictoria. Oh, how excited I was.

The second she stepped out, I felt ashockwave of joy and excitement travelthrough my body. She was surroundedby men in suited jackets. However, Iknew when she and I were married, allthese men would be unnecessary. So, Ifollowed her into SAC Ballroom B, tak-ing pictures with my digital camera. Irealized it was time for my exam andthat my one opportunity to propose tomy lover may have dissipated like dustin the wind. Oh how I closed my eyes,asking God for one more chance.

I slouched my way into my seat afterdragging myself into the exam room,and sighed, turning the first page of the

exam. I had my mind on more impor-tant things. I gazed at the test, drewhearts here and there. I tried my best.

change the titleBy Najib Aminy

$900 continued on next page

Najib AminyThe elusive flower, herself.

Najib Aminy

That radiant blur is my love.

...so like any goodhusband, I awaited thearrival of my soon-to-be wife...


13/32

The Stony Brook Press 13Features

Want your club/organization to be featured in a future Club Spotlight?E-mail The Pressat

[email protected]

$900 continued from previous page

For Ann, I tried my best. I would not letintegrals ruin my chance of spooningwith my guardian angel. I handed mytest to the professor and left, sprintingup the stairs of Old Chemistry 119 andrunning out the door. I gleefully mademy way into the SAC Auditorium andnoticed the walkway was covered withpolice officers and security. I felt gladthat the University realized how im-portant it was to protect my lover at theexpense of all these liberal students.

I made my way into the back inorder not to interrupt my lover and satthere listening to her speak and answerquestions. In all honesty, I just stoppedpaying attention and just gazed at her.There we were, our hands interlocked,skipping through the meadows andhills with the sky glowing with the col-ors of the American flag. I fell out of mydaydream when Ms. Coulter stoppedspeaking, wondering if something had

gone wrong. The question-and-answer portion ended and the publicbook signing began.

This was it. I had my book, God-less, in my hand, often alternatingwhich hand it was in to prevent mysweat from damaging the book. My legsbegan to shake and as the line movedup, they started trembling. The line waslong, which gave me time to calm downand relax. However, nothing could pre-vent the butterflies in my stomach fromgoing crazy. For a second I felt liketurning back. But then I told myselfthat if I didnt ask Ms. Coulter out, thanI would have wasted the $22,000 the

College Republicans felt necessary tospend, in addition to having 20,000 stu-dents pay and only about 200 studentsattend. So rather than cowering and be-coming a liberal, I chose not to cut andrun, but rather stay the course.

I was on the stage, next in line totalk to Ms. Coulter. Words could not

describe my joy and anxiety. It was fi-nally my turn. I took a gulp and gaveher my book and politely asked her tosign the book to my father, Imam AliM. Hussein. I told her about my con-tinual fights with my dad about who isright, I even told her about how I have

many of the same views on Muslims asshe does. Ms Coulter replied, We needmore Muslims like you. I was very flat-

tered. Then, the moment of truth. Ikindly asked Ms. Coulter out, and shelaughed in my face.

She laughed in my face.

Thank you, she said as she keptlaughing. I asked if that was a yes or a

no, she laughed again, saying Thankyou. My heart was cold, yet warm. Shewas playing hard to get. I knew this be-cause I asked her how attractive shethought I was using a scale of 1-10, 10

being really attractive. She pointed toher bodyguard and said he was a ten.She gave me a nine. The following ex-cerpt is word-for-word, as I managed tosneak in a recorder and record the con-versation:

Ann: Hello!Me: Nice to meet you.Ann: Nice to meet you.

Me (giving her my copy of Godless)This is for my father, he is an imam.Ann (Signing the book): Oh, so we likehim! Where is he?

Me: He is on the island.Ann: And what does he think about

what is going on.Me: Well in all honesty he thinks all thethings you say are ridiculous. But likeafter hearing all the things youve said Iagree with you and we get into long

fights about who is right and who iswrong. A lot of the things you say Iagree with, especially the commentabout how if all Muslims boycotted air-lines, there would be no need for airlinesecurity.Ann: That was a good joke.Me: It was a good joke and I laughed forhours.Ann: See, you are a Muslim (pronounc-ing it mooooooslim) we can work with.Me: I know and I am trying to findother Muslims but it is hardAnne: You know why?Me: Why?Ann: Ive explained this before. Ithought I knew every right wing Mus-lim. (smiling) Nice to meet you, be-cause they dont join groups. Muslimsjoin groups based on politics. But they

dont belong to Muslims groups.Me: Do you think we need more Mus-lim conservatives?Ann: Yeah, probably, right now becauseI need them independently.Me: After reading your stuff I havegrown a fascination of you and I wouldlike to take this time to ask you out.Ann (Laughing): Thank you!Me: Is that a yes or a no?Ann: Thank you! All offers have to gothrough the body guard.Me: One last question, on a scale of oneto ten how attractive do you think I am?Ann (unhesitant): Very attractive!Me: On a scale of one to ten

Ann: If Floyd [her bodyguard] was aten you would be a nineMe: Nice meeting you again.Ann: I know! I know!

A nine. My heart melted, I shook

her hand, made eye contact, and hap-pily left the stage. For I know it takestime for love to blossom into a flower,and I will give it time.

...There we were,our hands interlocked,skipping through the

meadows and hills...

Najib AminyIf you know of an Imam Ali M. Hussein contact the Press.

Najib AminyLook how popular my darling is!

Ms. Coulter replied,We need more Mus-lims like you. I wasvery flattered.


14/32

Due to budget cuts, the Stony BrookCat Network has had to resort to dras-tic measures in order to keep the clubfunctioning. One Cat Networker, un-willing to be named, has come forthand revealed that the club, unable tocontinue with their mission, has beenselling stray cats to Campus Dining.The source went on to say, You cantsave all the cats, so why not save someby selling the meat of the others?

Originally, the club had looked forfunding through other venues. Fearingthat a bake sale would be too clich, theNetwork initially sold smoothies. We

were unsure of USG regulations re-garding smoothies, the anonymoussource said, but we really just wanted

to help the cats. Genius struck whenone cat fell into a blender. It was at thatmoment sparks flew, and it was more

than just the blender short circuitingit was the birth of an idea.

The cat network saves stray cats oncampus by herding them into the Bam-boo Forest behind the West Apart-ments. Its discreet and out of the way,commented Jenny Q, a basket-weavingmajor. The cats are then put through aseries of competitions in order to de-termine which will be the most likely tothrive after rehabilitation. The othersare then sold to Campus Dining foreighty-two cents per pound.

Campus Dining surveys have shownthat the perceived quality of food hasactually gone up since the change took

place. One conscientious consumer re-ported that they approved of the switch.Lately Ive been trying to consume

only free-range animals. The Cat Net-work helps make that possible.

Many Cat Networkers grudginglyadmit that while this goes against themission statement of the club, it has

provided some temporary relief to theirfunding issues. The anonymous CatNetworker commented, Its an un-orthodox way of raising money, buttheres more than one way to skin a cat.Paul Bowden, food production man-ager for the Union Commons, later re-ported that Campus Dining, in fact, hasonly one standard way of skinning cats.

With the success of the new busi-ness venture, Campus Dining has de-cided to branch out into fast food.Guess theyre really letting the cat outof the bag.

Tickets to the cat competitions can be

purchased at the SAC Box Office $4.37 for students and faculty, $6.42 for offcampus.Interbutt

Thats one pussy Id never skin ...

14 Vol. XXIX, Issue 11 | Wednesday, April 2, 2008Food For Thought

Our new favorite crazy dictator is former Turkenistani President, Turkmenbashi Niyasov. Facebook him.

Features

As November approaches, it mayfeel like its nearly impossible not tohear about the ongoing race for theWhite House. No matter how hard onetries, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton,John McCain, and that lovable misfitRalph Nader seem to be around everycorner, from the MTVU blaring in HQuad, to the newspapers in each resi-dence halls lobby, to the electronicticker scrolling across the newsroomwindow. Gifted rapper DMX, however,proves that everyone else just isnt try-ing hard enough. Consider the follow-ing excerpt from a recent interviewwithXXL Magazine:

XXL: Are you following the presi-dential race?

DMX: Not at all.XXL: Youre not? You know theres

a Black guy running, Barack Obamaand then theres Hillary Clinton.

DMX: His name is Barack?!XXL: Barack Obama, yeah.DMX: Barack?!XXL: Barack.DMX: What the fuck is a Barack?!

Barack Obama. Where he from,Africa?

XXL: Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.DMX: Barack Obama?XXL: Yeah.DMX: What the fuck?! That aint

no fuckin name, yo. That aint that

niggas name. You cant be serious.Barack Obama. Get the fuck outtahere.

XXL: Youre telling me you haventheard about him before.

DMX: Iaint reallypayingmuch atten-tion.

XXL: Imean, itspretty big ifa Black

DMX:

Wow,Barack! Theniggasname isBarack.Barack?Nigganamed Barack Obama. What the fuck,man?! Is he serious? That aint hisfuckin name. Ima tell this nigga whenI see him, Stop that bullshit. Stop thatbullshit [laughs] That aint yourfuckin name. Your momma aintname you no damn Barack.

DMXs stunning, almost impres-

sive lack of awareness of one of theleading contenders for the Presidencyraises a concern as to how widespreadthis phenomenon is. Reassuringly, ascientific study conducted byTheStony Brook Press shows that we needhave no fear of uninformed voters

among us. The recognition rate of the

name Barack Obama among inter-viewed students was 100 percent. Itseems that the liberal media has doneits job well. Clearly, DMX is an iso-lated case. His ignorance is inconse-

quential. Its a bigshock, said KarrahSt. Laurence, a Juniorfrom Queens. Themajority of respon-dents felt that theywere either more po-litically aware ormore generally intel-ligent than DMX,

suggesting that theywould not be swayedby his opinion whencasting their votes.As Shawna Higgins, aStony Brook sopho-more from Buffalo

asserts, This is a story we can justpush aside.

The real issue revealed in ThePress study was a lack of awareness ofDMX among the campus community.Shockingly, 55 percent of students didnot know who the rapper was, despitehis record breaking five consecutive

number one albums. Of those whocould properly identify DMX, alsoknown as Earl Simmons, very fewcould name a song he had recorded.This number, as well as his generalrecognition, increased when pollsterschanted X gon give it to ya! refer-

encing his single off the 2003 album

Grand Champ. However, none of thosequestioned felt at all worried about thepossibility that X would in fact give itto them. Jay Chung, a Junior from PortWashington, says he is not reallyscared about such a scenario. Whilemost lived without serious concernover Dark Man X, some students ad-mitted to being intimidated by SenatorHillary Clinton, who Junior TiffanyThomen, of Westbury, characterized askind of scary. Sean Puffy CombsVote or Die campaign similarlyproved more inspiring of fear thanDMX; Max Simmons, Freshman from

Rochester, said it was a bit extreme.Accurate numbers are hard tocome by, but it seems reasonable to as-sume that a substantial atmosphere ofDMX-related fear existed in the Amer-ican public around the time of the re-lease of X Gon Give It to Ya. Thesteady and precipitous decline indread and awareness of DMX appearsto coincide neatly with PresidentBushs appointment of MichaelChertoff as Secretary of Homeland Se-curity. Chertoff s success in alleviatingAmericans apprehensions about hav-ing it given to them underscores the

importance of Presidential appoint-ments and the fallacy of DMXs asser-tion that No one person is directlyaffected by which President, youknow

DMX on Obama: at Aint No Fuckin Name, Yo.

By Alex Walsh

Ann Coulter Skins CatsBy By Hillary Weiss & Katie Flanagan


15/32

by Tommy Yu

Asian Americans dont have a place in

politics. As a matter of fact, we have

almost no presence in American

media, aside from the occasional kung-fumaster popping in to pulverize the baddies

while scoffing at the laws of physics. Thats

why it came as a surprise when I heard of a

CNN segment featuring Gary Tuchman, a

CNN news reporter, interviewing Asian

Americans about their preferred president.

For those of you who havent gotten a

chance to see it, here is a YouTube link to

that segment:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=770WYuJb-

WWs.

According to this piece, Barack Obama lost

to Hilary Clinton by a three to one margin

among the Asian American voters in Cali-

fornia and Tuchman was going to find out

why.

Instead of feeling elated for the fact thatAsian A

the stony brook press - volume 29, issue 11

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