the stony brook press - volume 32, issue 16

8/4/2019 The Stony Brook Press - Volume 32, Issue 16

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Vol. XXXII, Issue 16

Monday, August 29, 2011


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TABLE OF CONTENTS

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Nick Statt

MANAGING EDITOR Carol MoranASSOCIATE EDITOR Evan GoldaperBUSINESS MANAGER Siobhan Cassidy

PRODUCTION MANAGER Mark Greek

NEWS EDITOR Inquire WithinFEATURES EDITOR Alyssa MelilloCULTURE EDITOR Alexa RubinsteinMULTIMEDIA EDITOR Vincent Barone

Ula Grodowska

SPORTS EDITOR Vincent BaroneCOPY EDITOR Lauren DuBois

OMBUDSMAN Carolina Hidalgo

LAYOUT DESIGN Nick Statt

STAFF

Sam Aldenton, Michelle Bylicky, LionelChan, Natalie Crnosija, Mike Cusanelli,

Eric DiGiovanni, Brett Donnelly, AmandaDouville, Sarah Evins, Andrew Fraley,

Colleen Harrington, Samuel Katz, NicoleKohn, Iris Lin, Andi Liao, Erica Mengou-

chian, Frank Myles, Howie Newsberkman,Vanessa Ogle, Carlos Parreno, GabrielPanadero, Jessica Rybak, Emily Torkel,

Matt Willemain

e Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly during the academic year and twice during

summer session by e Stony Brook Press, astudent run non-pro t organization funded by

the Student Activity Fee. e opinions expressedin letters, articles and viewpoints do not neces-sarily re ect those of e Stony Brook Press as

a whole. Advertising policy does not necessarily re ect editorial policy. For more information on

advertising and deadlines call (631)632-6451.Sta meetings are held Wednesdays at 1:00 pm.First copy free. For additional copies contact the

Business Manager.

e Stony Brook PressSuites 060 & 061Student Union

SUNY at Stony Brook Stony Brook, NY 11794-3200

(631) 632-6451 Voice(631) 632-4137 Fax

Email: [email protected]

CULTURE

FEATURES

NEWSp. 6 e White Panda to Perform at Staller

p. 7e Biggest Factors Driving SBU Enrollment

M U S I C M O V I E S

p. 24

p. 27

Lil Wayne, a Carter IV

Yellow Ostrich, Something

p. 26

Interested in joining e Stony Brook Press?

Meetings are every Wednesday,1 p.m. in the

Union Basement Room 060.

Or do you think were a bunch of hacks and would rather send insome angry feedback? E-mail us your thoughts and concerns at

[email protected].

2 SB PRESS Monday, August 29


Fall Movie Preview

COMICS!Boring Rocks

Sportzp. 28

AA E-Z INE p. 30-31

p. 8-23


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3SB PRESSMonday, August 29

E DITORIALS

N ,

...what truly matters is uniquecontent, which we assurewill only get better with

the hope that we can become a moreintegral part of campus life.


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Vol. XXXII, Issue 16 EDITORIALS

The Press


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On September 9 at 9 p.m. USG hasscheduled an event of a di erent sort on the

Staller Steps: an outside concert that is free forall Stony Brook students. e White Panda,a DJ mashup duo based out of Chicago, willbe performing and up to 1500 students ata time will be allowed onto the barricadedsteps to hear them perform, according toUSG Treasurer omas Kirnbauer.

Keeping the budget under $50,000 wasa major concern for USG President Mark Maloof, Kirnbauer said, as its too early to tapinto the fall budget that will be allocated toevents later in the semester, and its also tooearly to ask students to take out their wallets.

Rather than a big name, USG aimed to ndan inexpensive artist with energy enoughto put on a fun show, both USG membersagreed.

A big name comes with a big ego and abig attitude, Maloof said, and this artist willappeal to a wide variety of students withouta heavy bill and a lot of problems that higherpro le artists bring.

ere will be one entrance and one exitwith security counting how many studentscome and go so that the 1500 studentmaximum wont be surpassed, but Maloof says the bene t of an outdoor concert is thatstudents can enjoy the music even outside of the fenced o area.

e event, scheduled to end at 11 p.m.,will only be open to students with Stony Brook ids, as they are the ones who pay thebill, Maloof said. Bags will not be allowedinside the barricaded area. e rain locationis SAC Ballroom A.

Staller Steps ConcertComes to Fruition

By Carol Moran


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NEWS



When Michael Penn began applyingto colleges, he didnt think he would endup at a university relatively close to hishometown of Westwood, N.J.

For the past few years I was deadset on another school, I did everythingI could to try to get in, Penn said.

Stony Brook kept popping up wheneverI searched for colleges, and I wasencouraged to apply.

But as his search went on, Penn saidthat the colleges he initially looked into just didnt have what he wanted in hisfuture school and home.

When I began to visit colleges, Ifound that all the schools I rst wanted togo to fell short, he said. Many of themlacked passion, the campuses lackeddrive. And then I found Stony Brook,what I thought was a small unknown

campus became the center of attention. is campus was alive and

passionate, even at 10 in the morningon a Saturday, he added. More than any campus I visited. So it was an obviouschoice when the time came.

Penn is among roughly 2,500 studentswho will enter Stony Brook as a freshmanthis year, according to Judy Berhannan,the Dean of Admissions. And accordingto the Association of American Collegesand Universities, there are about 2,600four-year schools in the country, so why did these incoming freshmen choose tostudy for their prospective careers at Stony Brook?

Increasingly, we have a nationalreputation for excellence and ouroutstanding academic o erings along with a growing reputation amongeducational facilities, Berhannan said.Our stature has been growing.

Berhannan said many factors suchas faculty, research opportunities and

campus life contributed to the incomingstudents decisions to attend Stony Brook.In the case of Middletown, N.J. residentAmanda Gambacorto, her decision topursue a degree in nursing determined herchoice to become a Seawolf.

[Stony Brook is] well-known for its

health programs and there is a hospitalon campus, which really set it apart fromother schools, she said. e distance isntideal, but its worth a few hours of travelfor such a high level of education at such alow cost.

Many students nd that paying for ahigher education can be di cult, so whenit came time for Rachael Ellenbogen of Guilderland, N.Y. to make her decision,she said she chose Stony Brook out of the 11 colleges she applied to, partially because of the cost.

Stony Brook ended up just beingthe best choice out of my college options,she said. At rst it seemed like I simply settled, but as time went on and I thoughtabout it more, it just seemed like a no-brainer. SBU is SUNY so it is fairly cheapwhen compared to private schoolsand

the campus is beautiful!Location also factored

in to the decisions of many students who choseto commute to theirschools, such as LaboniGomes of Holbrook, N.Y.

I decided to go toStony Brook because itis an exceptional schoolthat is close to home,she said. Being that Ima commuter, I needed toattend a school that is notfar in driving distance.I applied to [other localschools], however, my number one choice was

Stony Brook University. Because Gomesis enrolling in Stony Brooks young andgrowing School of Journalism, shesensured small class sizes, a factor thatfurther convinced her of Stony Brookseducational opportunities.

And for Farmingdale, N.Y. residentSamantha Zhang, Stony Brook o erseverything she looked for in a school.

I loved Stony Brook as soon as Istepped on campus, she said. I choosethis school because I can get a greateducation and have fun at the same time.Also, it is convenient for me to go home

because its a decent distance away.In addition liking the campus,prospective Stony Brook students alsoneed to meet certain academic standardsin order to attend the school. To beadmitted, students typically need averageGPAs ranging from 88-94, SAT scores ashigh as 1940 and ACT scores from 25-29,according to statistics provided on theuniversitys website.

Students such as Gambacorto, Gomesand Zhang recognized the reputationStony Brook has for its academics and

clearly met its standards in order to beattending this year. Berhannan said thatthis years freshman class is continuinga legacy and adding to the schoolslarge number of scholarly talented andmotivated students.

is class continues to build upona trend of a very diverse and talentedstudent body, she said.

Why Stony

Brook?By Alyssa Melillo

At rst it seemed like I sim-ply settled, but as time went

on and I thought about itmore, it just seemed like a

no-brainer.


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Vol. XXXII, Issue 16FRESHMAN GUIDE

For a wide selection of food rivaled only by the SAC, check out the Stony Brook Union, where

youll nd a variety of food stations. If youre inthe mood for deli-style sandwiches, a quick veggieburger, or any variety of snack, stop by the UnionDeli on the rst oor, which will be open from 8a.m. to 11 p.m. It also serves co ee and other on-the-go items, but its known for being a little pricey.

e Union Commons, also located on therst oor, has the widest variety of food, including

Picantes (where you can get the biggest and mostdelicious burritos ever), basic Chinese food atTaro 13, sushi, burgers and fries and whatnot atCharcoals and Charcoals Express, Upick ChoppedSalads, soup and Freschetta Pizza (avoid at all

costs), as well as some refrigerated items. eprices arent too bad either, except the refrigeratedoptions are the most expensive. Until this semester,the Union Commons closed painfully early. Now,with the renovations to the H Quad facilities andthe closing down of the Benedict dining hall, theUnion will be open until 3 a.m., for your late-nightcravings on the north side of campus.

Also located in the Union is Delancey Street.As the only location on campus that specializes inkosher food, they serve matzo ball soup and falafelsalmost every day, while rotating a list of kosherspecials throughout the week.

And nally theres a full Starbucks, open from8 a.m. to 12 a.m. But if youre going to go there for alatte or something before class, give yourself sometime because it can get really busy. With a campusfraught with the awful Seattles Best, co ee headswill be able to nd haven on the second oor ofthe Union.

Union Dining


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Vol. XXXII, Issue 16 FRESHMAN GUIDE

Tabler Caf

As youre wandering around duringyour rst couple days on campus, you

might catch word of there being a DunkinDonuts. But beware: the D & Ds home,Tabler Caf, is a huge disappointment.Squeezed into the arch-shaped bottom

oor of the Tabler Arts Center, the caf hadthe potential to be a welcome consolationto the fact that Tabler residents are at leasta 10 minute walk from any decent breakfastselection. However, a mixture of ridiculoushours and a bare bones menu make it oneof the least satisfying eateries on campus.

e caf opens for the morning, but thencloses for the a ernoon...only to re-open at

night. So if you maybe wanted a drink or asnack before classes, but it happened to beone or two in the a ernoon, youll have togo somewhere else. Also, its closed on theweekends, which will only further intensify the air of alienation at SBU when everyoneships out Friday a ernoon.

As for the selection, the DunkinDonuts seems to have the co ee down just

ne. But tough luck if youre looking for

more than that. It doesnt serve breakfastsandwiches, and the donut selection doesntcome close to making up for that. ere arebagels, but they dont stay fresh very longand you have to nag the employees for

cream cheese. Most of the time, theyll justtell you theyre out.e shining light of the Tabler Caf,

at least in theory, is the crepes and at-breads. At night, the right side of thecounter begins making these two dinneritems to balance out the fact that nobody wants a stale donut a er its been chillingfor 12 hours in a glass case. However, eventhese are plagued by inconsistencies. Youre

at the mercy of whoever is working thestation that day: sometimes they come outdelicious, while other times theyll comeout a sloppy mess folded into a half-burnedpiece of at bread.

e only thing Tabler Caf seems to beconsistently pro cient at is providing soon-to-be-stoned TAC regulars an impressiveselection of potato chips. Considering thesmoking habits of the quad, thats enough tokeep any resident from really complaining.But all in all, its not worth your time unlessyoure way late for class and absolutely needa drink or something small to tie you overuntil you can go somewhere more forgiving.

Roth Food CourtRoths Food Court is the only place on campus with real fast

food: a Wendys and a California Pizza Kitchen. And that foodtends to have more variety and be a little better than the campusfood youll nd elsewhere. is means that if you live in RothQuad or nearby Tabler Quad, this dining hall will be the placeyoull nd yourself eating most o en. And if you live far awayfrom Roth, youll nd yourself making more and more excusesto head over there; the hike will at least give you the chance toburn o some of that Baconator on your way back. eres also

a place to get salads (in a desperate attempt to make Roth seemhealthy, I suppose) and cafeteria-style food. e only issue Rothseems to have is that the lines are o en incredibly long, as itsde nitely one of the more popular dining halls. Me, I bring a DSor a book and distract myself while waiting, but if youre in a rush,thats really what the salads or cafeteria food stations are for. Alsoworth noting is the caf on the ground oor, which has reallygood cider, hot chocolate and some baked goods. Just to add tothe wonderful calorie haven that is Roth.


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Kelly Dining

Kelly Dining is one of the betterplaces to go for food on campus, mostly for its diversity. And by diversity, I mean variations of the crap they sell elsewhere oncampus. You can nd anything here fromthe same pizza they sell at the SAC, to thesame burritos they make in the Union.Its big perk is the tiny market they havefor picking up your favorite cereal, somemicrowave meals or a giant 48 pack of

Starbursts when yourealize on the last

week of the semesterthat you have 600meal points le .Kelly is also openpast midnight, ahuge conveniencefor those of us whonormally go tobed slightly beforesunrise. In short,Kelly is one of the

few places on campus where you can walk out with a fresh turkey sandwich, a pint of

milk, a Slim Jim and a mega-pack of Ramennoodles at one in the morning.

Kelly also serves an all-you-can-eat brunch on weekends, which soundsawesome but usually disappoints. eselection isnt too great, and unless youreincredibly hungry for ridiculously lling

food, it probably isnt worth the price.Another downside of Kelly is it can get

extremely crowded. Its best to avoid goingin between class blocks and the 7 oclockdinner rush, especially on hot days whenKelly converts into a pit of Hell.

Youll also notice that the dining hallis one of the many places on campus witha comforting Coming Attraction sign,meaning the area right in front next of thecurrent building will look like utter shitfor quite some time. Its slated for a $23million renovation to Kelly Dining withouta projected date for completion, but dontworry, the new Kelly has some awesome

artists renderings on the campus diningwebsite. at might make walking acrosstwo by four bridges and listening to the humof construction vehicles more bearable,unless the project wont be nished by thetime youre out of here.

Jasminee Jasmine dining hall, located in the

Wang Center, is Stony Brooks source for allfoods Pan Asian. Serving Chinese, Indian,

ai and Japanese foods, the Wang Centerhas the potential to be an enjoyable contrastto the run-of-the-mill pizza and grill foodslocated elsewhere on campus. Its also notrun by Campus Dining, which means thatyoull have to shell out your ex points todine there.

Jasmine tends to be a mixed bag whenit comes to food quality. Depending on thetime you arrive, the food can either tastewonderful and fresh, or stale and dull. erealso seems to be a serious grease problem.A er polishing o a serving of lo mein andGeneral Tsos chicken, youll be able to seeyour re ection in the bottom of the tray.

Despite the Chinese woes, the Indiancookery is top-notch at Jasmine. I suggestgiving the samosas a whirl, especially if its

your rst foray into the cuisine. If yourelooking into their deep cuts, the yellow dalis a vegetarian favorite.

Everyone knows that sushi quality decreases exponentially once itsrefrigerated. ats why Jasmine is the only place that you should get it on campus. esushi chefs at there pump out delicioussushi with great presentations throughoutthe day. From California rolls, to spiderrolls, its all delicious.

ere is also a bubble tea stand in

Jasmine. For those unfamiliar with theTaiwanese treat, its a milk tea, or juice-based beverage with little tapioca starchballs on the bottom. Dont be discouraged;we recommend that you give it a try at leastonce.

At times, there can be absurdly longlinessame goes for any eatery on campus,really. It might be a bit of a hike, but Jasmineis still one of the best dining facilities oncampus.


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Despite their general niceness and cleanliness, the Yang andLauterbur suites actually belong to Roosevelt and Kelly Quads,

respectively. e constructionof these two buildings nally concluded last year and they were used as the new dormsfor relocated South Hamptonstudents.

Dubbed Lego Land fortheir odd aesthetics, thesebuildings look nothing likethe other austere jail cells intheir quads. Even structurally,Yang and Lauterbur have alayout much more similar to a

hotel. ere are lobbies to waitfor elevators, sinks are locatedoutside of bathrooms and thecouches and chairs are t for areal home.

Upon its grand opening,the lack of policing andgigantic common rooms made

Lauterbur and Yang extremely conducive to partying. RHDs andcampus police became privy to the large groups of loud, drunk andhigh students that loitered outside the buildings and quelled all thatsoon enough, but that doesnt mean theyre not home to some of the most lavish suite parties outside the West Apartments.

Lest we forget about the buildings impressive closeness to KellyDining and the Academic

Mall. ough, simply put, abike would come in handyif you have to take classes inJavits.

For the partygoersand studious alike, thesebuildings quality will surelyhelp you forget that you areliving on campus, whichexplains the mad dash thatmany undergrads made tosnag a spot during last yearshousing season. ese aresome of the nicest dorms oncampus, maybe even betterthan the West Apartments. Soif youre GPA is on the rocksor if youve been caughbong-handed, Lauterbur orYang might just be the placefor you.

While all the cool kids live o campus, all the somewhat coolkids live in West Apartments. Halfway between the real worldand college dorm life, West Apartments are at times known as theplace to party on campus. One has to be an upperclassman in goodacademic standing to live in the Apartments, so alcohol is easy toget, albeit good academic standing may imply party pooper.

ink of these Apartments as a segue into the real world.Instead of over-bearing landlords, youre paying over $3,500 a

semester to the corporate fat cats who run Stony Brook University for a single room. If you ever end up living in West, remember tonot invite your RA to your party. Also keep in mind that apartmentRA is somewhat of an oxymoron.

Students are not required to purchase a meal plan if they livein West, as the apartments are furnished with kitchen appliances.While theres no dishwasher, students are given a range top, oven,refrigerator/freezer and microwave. Miss your mother? Learn tocook like her, instead of paying money to the corporate fat cats whorun Chartwells.

e apartments are situated at an edge of campus, creating asense of privacy but also posing a challenge in getting to class. Singleand double rooms are small (110-161 sq. feet) but air conditioned,and the suites theyre in are large. With an exceedingly long waitinglist to obtain a West Apartment, getting into a suite with yourbuddies is close to impossible. e long wait list suggests that theseapartments are the best place to live at Stony Brook.

West Apartments popularity is mainly because they o erfreedom while still keeping a sense of college dorm life.

Nobel Halls

West Apartments


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Being the new kid is always di cult,regardless of school year, age, sexor location, and being one of Stony Brooks new kids is no di erent. eresso much to adjust to when embarking onthe journey to Seawolf glory, and every

single student faces that adjustment whenthey arrive on campus. However, thereare two groups of students who tend to

nd the adjustment a little more di cultthan others because they dont fall intothe more traditional student groups. By nature, commuter students can have a moredi cult time adjusting to Stony Brook because they arent always here. Likewise,transfer students can have a di cult timebecause they werent always here. Andthose few (okay, maybe a little bit morethan a few, but still the group of them) whofall into both categories? Well, they have tosurvive the double whammy.

It takes a lot to not only overcome thedouble whammy, but to turn the obstacleof being a less traditional student (twice)into a successful college career. Despite thedi culties, it is not only possible, but simpleto adjust to life as a Stony Brook studentand have some of the best years of your life

while youre here. Here are six ways to notonly survive the double whammy, but toturn around and laugh in its face.

1. Get to know the campus like your home town

Get lost and explore every possibleinch of this campus. Youre going to behere for a few years so you should try to

learn where things are anyway. And besidesthat, this isnt your last schoolits betterto remember the names of the buildingshere (and to forget the ones from whereveryou came from). And dont think for asecond that you cant check out residentialareas of campus just because you dont live

here. Youre still going to eat; just like theresidents and freshmen do. So see whatother places to eat the campus has to o eroutside of the SAC and the Union.

2. Familiarize yourself with SOLAR

SOLAR (Stony Brooks online centerwhere students can access their records),can actually be a huge help to the studentthat, not only doesnt live on campus, butmay be so busy outside of it that they dont always have the time to scheduleappointments with academic advisers.Learn how to use it because its the only place where you can check out exactly what youre paying tuition-wise (so youcan perhaps waive certain fees like a healthinsurance, one you may not need). You canalso check exactly what credits from yourlast school transferred in and where they transferred to, as well as sign up for yourclasses each semester and keep track of those oh-so-important grades.

3. DEC-lare your major, and then takea whole bunch of classes that have nothing to do with it.

Dont forget to join a club. Its

the easiest way tomeet those friends

who have similarinterests to yours.


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is serves more like advice fortransfers in general, but its an importantone. Guaranteed, your last school had afew core classes that every single student,regardless of their major, had to take. Stony Brook has them tooand theyre calledDiversi ed Education Curriculum classes,or DECs. And theres A LOT of them. If youre lucky, youll be able to transfer inenough credits to satisfy a decent chunk of them, but youre still going to take a few, likeit or not. But theres a beauty to this systemtoo. ere are choices, so at the very least,you can try to take classes that might spark your interest, instead of nding yourself forced to take speci c ones that you ndyourself dragging yourfeet to get to. Pick theseclasses wisely

4. Park your car somewhere it cant get ticketed.

Youve likely hadparking issues at other

schools, and yes, parkingis still an issue at Stony Brook that even thebest and the brightestcant nd a solutionfor. e best thing todo when you start yourcommuter experiencehere? Just suck it up andpark in South P. Yes, it is

obnoxious because you then need to take abus to campus, but hey, you might just belucky enough to get that one professor whois sympathetic to your its hard to get hereat 8:20 because of tra c and then I have totake a bus plight. Also sign up for SB Alertson SOLAR. e commute sucks even morewhen you make it all the way to campusa er surviving slippery roads and twofeet of snow just to nd out that sometimebetween your house and SBU, classes werecancelled.

5. Maximize your overall experience

Remember: this is college, andgenerally you only get this experience once,

so make it memorable and worthwhile. Firstof all, be proud that you were one of thosechosen to attend one of top 100 schoolsin the country. Unfortunately, this schoolis also ranked highly on the list of schoolswith the least happy students (and has inthe past been ranked as number one) - but

that doesnt have to be the case for you. iis a campus with over 20,000 students; gomake friends with some of them! Collegein general will be much more fun if you do.

ere are always tons of events on campusto attend (some for free); go to them! And just because you commute doesnt meanyoure excluded from anything. Check outsome of those commuter speci c events ithe other on-campus ones arent really yourthing. And if youre a real college student,pull a few of those all-nighters. And no, Imnot referring to the kind where you study (though those are essential to your collegeexperience too). Dont forget to join a club.Its the easiest way to meet those friendswho have similar interests to yours.

6. Finally, remember this is SBU.

So familiarize yourself with certainfacts that prove youre actually a studenthere. Your mascot is Wol e the SeawolfYou get food at the SAC. You have classes inSBS and ESS, not the Social and Behaviora

Sciences and Earth and Space SciencesBuildings. is is the Red Zone. Get it?Know these things.


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1. Gears of War 3 (September 20) -

All you bros out there that arestill playing the second one, get ready tobe curb-stomped...again. Its going to havemassive guys running around with gunsthat have chainsaws on them, jumpingback and forth between cover with dirtand stu everywhere. Totally di erentfrom the last two, and totally worth $60,or more if you want a book of bitchinglithographs.

2. Battle eld 3 (October 25) -

is game will be crazy good-looking. ey may chide you now forlugging that massive monitor into yourdorm, and taking up the whole elevator onyour way up, but itll all be worth it whenthis baby hits in October. Itll look likeyour actually shooting people in the face.Unless youre playing multiplayer, becauseyou wont get anywhere near people, mapsare huge in these games, (64 player battles

on PC.) Nu said.

3. Elder Scrolls V Skyrim (November 11) -

You kids were probably in middleschool when Elder Scrolls IV Oblivionlivedin my Xbox for 200-something hours.I didnt do any homework for monthsand Ms. Guadalupe gave me a hard timefor doing my Spanish report entirely in

Daedric. Skyrims supposed to be biggerand better, and if the videos Ive seen areany indication, you wont be leaving yourdorm a lot come November. Just dont getit until Christmas. Its going to be hard, andall your friends are going to ruin some of the story or some of the cooler quests foryou, but keep the the dragon ame alive inyour heart this night, and all nights.

4. Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary (November 15) -

ey updated the graphics toone of the best rst person shooters ever,which is what they shouldve done with lastyears Goldeneyefor the Wii. But thats notimportant now. What is important? You

will now be able to escape the Flood in HD.Just make sure you get all your homework

done before you go on the brand newonline multiplayer. ats a time-sink.

5. Facebook -

Cmon, you know you spend waytoo much time on it. Its worse now, all yourfriends are at di erent colleges, they have aton of free time too and theyre going to ask to Skype or Google Hangout or some shit,even though your dorm is a mess. Youveonly been here a couple days dude, clean itup.

Five Semester GPA KillersBy Mark Greek


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Ah, Lil Wayne, Weezy F. Baby, Carter,Cartey, Deepwater Carter, Dr. Carter, Ea-gle Carter, Coach Carter, Mr. Go Harder,Young Carter, Young Baby, Birdman Jr.,Weezy, Lil Weezy, Weezy F. Crazy, eMartian, Heatman, Fireman, HusainWayne, Lil Weasel, President Carter andlast, but not least, Wizzy Fizzy.

Some would call him e Best Ever,others might call him a bitch. Either way,hes dropping e Carter IV at the endof this August. I was lucky enough to getan advanced deluxe addition and I had itbumpin the last week, while I picked upmy little cousin from day care, and whileI drove past churches and pulled over icecream trucks, especially.

Enough about me, lets talk about F.Man. (Is that one of his nickname already?Can that be another nickname? Im goingto try to make that stick.) Some stu o thenew album sounds pretty dope boy fresh.Mostly though, its fallen below my expec-tations for e Weez (another one!). isis especially disappointing considering thisis Waynes rst huge release to have beenrecorded a er he read the Bible in his posh jail cell (2010s laughable rock album Re-birth and the semi-interesting but mostly boring I Am Not a Human Being were bothrecorded prior to Weezy doing time).

Right o the bat, a Carter IV soundssilly. e beat for Intro irks me to high

heavens. He loops his breathe in the back-ground as if hes trying to gather whetheror not he has rank breath. Moving on, Ipressed skip during Blunt Blowin onceI heard the chorus where I heard that hewould beat a mans derriere whether or nothe is on a bus. And all the while his under-wear will certainly be showing. You couldbet your bus pass on it.

Not that we all dont know already, but

6 Foot 7 is just ne. e silent G linegets me every time. e next track, Night-mares Of e Bottom, is one of my favor-

ites, despite the title. e piano rules. Itsa bit introspective. Plus, it has a bunch of witty lines, and thats why people keep himon the playlist.

e rst Drake song to come up iscalled She Will and its absolutely terrible.Im not even saying this in jest. Its actually very bad. Boy Drake really let me downwith the hook. eres barely even a melody there. And why is Drake becoming the newhookman, anyway? He cant sing. Everyoneis aware of that. I guess because the songwill be a guaranteed single material, even if

in truth it isnt. e beat is neat, all thingsconsidered.

By far, the best part of this albumcomes from the second single o CarterIV. And its not even Lil Waynes doing.It comes from Sir Rick Ross with his lineRed on the wall/Basquiat when I paint.

at reference to painter Jean-Michel Bas-quiat is so neat. I got giddy when I heard it.

en theres that John Mayer-esque

song How To Love. Acoustic guitar? Re-ally Weez Dog? How can you rhyme aboutshooting people and then drop a song with

acoustic guitar in it. How can you get outof jail for having illegal guns and then dropa song with acoustic guitar in it. e Fray should have done the chorus, really. atsnot street.

Its a shame; I Like e View mightbe one of the nest songs on the record,except its only available on the deluxe ad-dition. In fact, all of the bonus tracks arebetter than most of the album. So if youregoing to actually buy it, you might as wellspring for the deluxe edition, which I as-sume anyone actually paying money for

the album will do, anyway. I dont feel likeanybody reasons, Gee, I like this albumenough to buy it, but Im not going to buy the deluxe edition, thats just too much.

Tha Review IV B Y VINCENT BARONE

ALBUM REVIEW

PRESS

RATING5.2


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Vol. XXXII, Issue 16 CULTURE

As the Fall months rapidly approach,everything starts going through cycles.Leaves change color and eventually fallo the trees while shorts and t-shirtsboasting summer tans give way to jeans andsweatshirts as the cold weather begins tosettle in. And of course, students of all agestrade in their endlessly free days of summer vacation for their endlessly packed days of school. Yikes.

So naturally, as days and nights onceagain become lled with pages beyondpages of reading from textbooks, papersgalore and hours of studying for exams,thoughts of study breaks begin to dancethrough students heads, and what betterway to get a nice two-hour break then toescape into a life that is not your own andgo see some movies? Heres ve coming outthis fall that might just provide that much-needed break.

1. Moneyball (Biographical sportsdrama starring Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, PhilipSeymour Ho man, Robin Wright; Out

September 23). Adapted from MichaelLewis book of the same name, the story of Oakland As general manager Billy Beanesattempt to build a baseball team on abudget and defy the traditions of the sport.Reasons to see it: A great story and an all-star cast.

2.50/50 (Dramedy starring SethRogen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anna

Kendrick; Out September 23). e accountof a 27-year-old guys cancer diagnosis andhis struggle to beat the disease. Reasons tosee it: Its based on Rogens real-life friendWill Reiser (who wrote the script) and hisown ordeal with cancer, so it could manageto be both heart-warming and funny, likea similar cancer lm with Rogen ( FunnyPeople).

3. e Ides of March (Dramastarring Ryan Gosling, George Clooney,

Philip Seymour Ho man, Paul Giamatti;Out October 7). e idealistic sta er of apresidential candidate gets a crash coursein dirty politics. Reasons to see it: With anoteworthy director in Clooney, an Oscar-friendly cast, young Hollywood favoriteGosling, and early festival buzz in Venice,

this could be not only a greatnight out at the movies, but apotential contender for nextyears Oscars.

4. Like Crazy (Romantic drama starringAnton Yelchin, Felicity Jones,Jennifer Lawrence; OutOctober 28). e love betweena British college student andher American boyfriend is putto the test when she is bannedfrom the U.S. a er overstayingher visa. Reasons to see it:

e winner of two awards atSundance, the movie can also

manage to speak to any college studentgoing through a long-distance relationshipof their own.

5. J. Edgar (Biographical dramastarring Leonardo Dicaprio, ArmieHammer, Naomi Watts, Josh Lucas; OutNovember 9). e story of the most fearedman in American law enforcement andthe secrets that could have destroyed hisimage, career, and life . Reasons to see it: Itsanother movie with a prestigious director(Clint Eastwood), an Oscar-friendly cast,and the Oscar-friendly biopic genre, whichmakes it worth seeing.

Now, of course, not every movie isworth earning study break status. Here are ve that are worth skipping all together

1. Shark Night 3D (Horror/Adventurestarring Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan,Alyssa Diaz; Out September 2). A weekendat a lake house becomes a nightmare a erthe lake becomes infested with bellicose,3-D sharks. Reasons to skip it : Its nogoing to be worth the money. If you want

sharks, either wait for shark week again, orgo nd real ones yourself.

2. Whats Your Number? (Comedystarring Anna Faris, Chris Pratt, ChrisEvans; Out September 30). A woman looksback at the past twenty men shes sleptwith and wonders if one of them may haveactually been e One. Reasons to skipit: Weve seen this story a hundred timesbefore, and dont really need to see it again.

Fall into the Movie TheatreBy Lauren DuBois


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Vol. XXXII, Issue 16CULTURE3. Footloose (Musical starring Kenny

Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid;Out October 1). A rebellious new kid intown sets out to change the local ban ondancing. Reasons to skip it: e moviewill be a hit to musical junkies, but frankly the genre rarely churns out a true success

in lm format. It probably doesnt help thatits also giving an eighties classic a modern

reboot, which also rarely ends well.4. e Twilight Saga: Breaking

Dawn-Part 1 (Fantasy starring KristenStewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner;Out November 18). Edward and Bella dealwith the Volturi closing in, while theirunborn child poses di erent threats to both

the vampire and werewolf covens. Reasonsto skip it : Honestly, Im just sick of all this vampires, werewolves, K. Stew and R. Pattznonsense. Ill be glad to see this franchiseend next year.

5. New Years Eve (Romantic comedy starring Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele,Sarah Jessica Parker, Robert De Niro,Josh Duhamel, Jessica Biel, Zac Efron and17 others; Out December 9). e lives of several couples and singles in New York intertwine over the course of New YearsEve. Reasons to skip it: Basically Garry Marshall is giving us 2010s Valentines

Day again, just relocated to New York, andunfortunately he still has yet to realize thatensemble movies work better with smallcasts. Stay tuned for next years probableinstallment of Groundhog Day, where welfollow the lives of 30 groundhogs as theytoo search for love.

I started listening to Yellow Ostricha year ago, as a joke. e rst album Iheard from Alex Schaaf s quirky indieband was the infamous Morgan FreemanEP , a ve-song collection of dance musicwith lyrics taken directly from MorganFreemans Wikipedia page. eres not a tonthat rhymes with Vincent the VegetableVampire or Lucky Number Slevin, but thesongs were impossible to hate, enjoyably bizarre and wonderfully memorable.

But I didnt think of them againuntil this summer, when I got an emailinforming me that the group had signedon to Barsuk, the indie record company that currently manages such groups asDeath Cab for Cutie and Ra Ra Riot. As aresult, Yellow Ostrich released a remastered version of their previously-downloadablealbum e Mistress, which I picked up ona whim, remembering how much I enjoyed

Morgan Freeman. Little did I know thatwhen Yellow Ostrich isnt singing aboutLucius Fox, theyre even better.

Unlike on Morgan Freeman, thesongs on e Mistress arent dancemusic; theyre exceedingly catchy indie fare. Alex Schaaf works almostexclusively alone, manning percussionand guitar and singing harmony with

himself through multitracking. Almostevery song includes a heavy amountof this, with Schaaf using a ton of ohohs to keep the beat and complimentthe vocals. It seems like that would getannoying, but somehow, it didnt, andits amazing to see just how adept he is atmaking it all seem e ortless. Add in lyricsthat are simple and easy to sing along toand youve got a great album where eventhe more depressing songs are feel-good joyrides.

e albums strongest track is by farthe single, WHALE, with an infectiously simple percussion ri and relaxing lyrics.Other standouts are the ridiculously-titledHahahaohhoho and Hold On, butalmost every song is a keeper, other thanthe opener, I ink U Are Great, whichis entirely forgettable. And plus, I hate thatthey didnt spell out you.

Still, Im quite frankly in lovewith this record. But I could see how it

could grate on peoples nerves. Most of thealbum has a recorded-in-a-basement vibe,and even with the new remastering its stillobvious that, at the time of recording, itwasnt exactly high-budget. I enjoy that sortof thing, but I know a lot of people dont.

However, those listeners can restassured that the last three tracks, which areexclusive to this re-release, are recordedwith the new, full Yellow Ostrich band.

Included as a taste of whats to come,theyre fantastic additions. ey have thesame spirit as the other tracks, but withmuch higher production values and moreinstrumentation, and have me really excitedabout the next album.

And thats a lot to say about a band Iused to only associate with the narrator of March of the Penguins.

By Evan Goldaper

Yellow Ostrich: Mistress(Deluxe Edition)


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EVAN GOLDAPER

MARK GREEK


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