The Secret Saucefor Conflict Resolution

Or How To Negotiate with the Devil

Goals

• Recognize the Values Conversation• Determine What Is REALLY Going On• Artfully Negotiate a Lasting Resolution• Laugh

Everything in Negotiation and Problem Solving Is About Values

Story Time

• Once upon a time …

• Based on the story what do you think of each

of the people involved? • What values are coming into play?

Values

Exercise

• List ALL Your Values• Cross off 3• Cross off all but the Top 3• Cross off all but the Top 1 • YES. All but the Top 1

All Conflict is About Values

• Values are Always Positive

• Cannot Be Traded or Compromised

• Can Be Met In A Variety of Ways

Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues

Proposals – The expression of how “my needs get met”

Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues

Position- The explanation the stance a person takes. What they have decided upon.

Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues

Value / Motivation- our internal needs and wants.

Distinguishing Proposals from Positions from Values from Issues• Issue- What people argue about. Big Topics

The Devil Is In the Details

“ A proposal is generally wrapped up in a position that hints at the issue but does not address the value or the internal motivation of the person making the proposal.”

The Devil Compels Choices

Effective Negotiation as a method of resolving tension and conflict involves articulating then racking and stacking values.

Identify – Verify – Organize

Negotiating is about Articulating Values then Racking and Stacking Those Values - Hopefully for MUTUAL Benefit.

Negotiating : 3 Easy Steps

1. Ask – Clarifying Questions

2. Repeat – What You Heard

3. Respond – Yes, No, Counter

Cheers to Jeanette Nydenwww.jnyden.com

Successful Counters

1. Include YOUR values

2. Have verifiable data

3. Also meet the EXPRESSED values of the other

Hurrah to Bill Lincoln for this.www.cri.cc

Call to Action

• Write down 3 insights

• Detail how you will put the insight to use

• How will you measure your success

• Who will you share your knowledge withand why?

Goals

• Recognize the Values Conversation

• Determine What Is REALLY Going On

• Artfully Negotiate a Lasting Resolution

• Laugh

More Resources

www.managingconflict.comcb@managingconflict.comTwitter: CarolNBowserLinkedin: Carol Bowser

Blog: The Workplace Conflict Expert SayseNews