The Lesson of the CircleThe Lesson of the Circle

Building Alliances Through Relationship - What Goes Around

Comes Around...

The Lesson of the WillowThe Lesson of the Willow

• Consider this lesson, from “Verbal Judo” by Dr. George Thompson.

• In judo, as in life - – Flexibility Yields Strength, and– Rigidity Yields Weakness

• This ancient law of nature is also a basic law of relationship.

Relationship Examples?Relationship Examples?

• Being out of control makes one weak and vulnerable to someone who is calm.

• Tension makes us egotistical and self-centered. It causes us to react in rigid, inflexible ways.

• By learning to put some distance between put some distance between you and your feelings,you and your feelings, we become more open and responsive.

What is the Secret of Life?What is the Secret of Life?

• If there really is a secret, it might be working to enhance the quality of of our relationships, because -

• People are about relationships, one to People are about relationships, one to another...another...

Putting a Value on Valuing Putting a Value on Valuing Relationship?Relationship?

• Creates open, trusting and adaptive organizations.

• Develops teamwork, participation and spirit.• Honors and benefits from diversity.• Facilitates organizational renewal.• Helps to build community and job ownership.

The Language of PersuasionThe Language of Persuasion

• Definition:– To reconstruct or alter the way someone sees

something.– To change one’s view of reality.

The Language of PersuasionThe Language of Persuasion

• Mediation is a key ingredient in helping one to see differently.

• Mediation demands the use of concrete language to make order out of disorder.

The Goals of PersuasionThe Goals of Persuasion• We often need to convince others to do

things they don’t want to do.

The Goals of Persuasion, con’t.The Goals of Persuasion, con’t.

• Direct attempts to alter behavior usually meet resistance.

The Goals of Persuasion, con’t.The Goals of Persuasion, con’t.

• Learn what is in the other’s best interest, and persuade from that perspective, rather than your own.

The Goals of Persuasion, con’t.The Goals of Persuasion, con’t.

• NeverNever substitute personal values for professional or ethical ones.

The Lesson of the Circle The Lesson of the Circle Teaches Us...Teaches Us...

• Eternity

• Resilience

• More than one way

• Grappling

There There isis no Life Without no Life Without Relating - Relating -

• Relationship is the process of continual flow and change.

• Remember the power of synergy:– The combined action of two or more substances The combined action of two or more substances

or agencies to achieve an effect greater than or agencies to achieve an effect greater than that of which each is individually capable...that of which each is individually capable...

Reference MaterialReference Material

J. Mark Warren J. Mark Warren Texas Association of CountiesTexas Association of Counties

Sgt. Sam Culpepper Sgt. Sam Culpepper Texas Department of Public Texas Department of Public SafetyTraining AcademySafetyTraining Academy