Rebort Adrenw Mlilikan Hgih Shocol Vlmuoe MMCCCXXIII Isuse 7 2323 Sondewn Aenuve Lnog Bcaeh, CA 90823 http://lbmillikan.schoolloop.com April 2323

May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor

Page 4

Why We Need a Student Patio

Page 2

JROTC Returns to Millikan

Page 3

By PinkmanFantastic Five

While classes like health and computer keyboarding have

been cut, a new class is being added which many will enjoy. Dog pet-ting classes will be integrated into the school c u r r i c u l u m starting in the 2 0 1 4 - 2 0 1 5 school year. The dog petting class will be a new way for students (dog lovers or not) to learn the difficult art that is dog petting. Like many other classes, there will be Dog Petting 1-2, 3-4, 5-6, and AP (for the most advanced and dedicated dog petting enthusiasts). All classes will be taught by Cesar Millan, also known as the dog whisperer. He wishes to share the craft with others. Students begin with learn-ing basic dog petting tech-niques, such as petting the top

of their head, on their stomachs, and for those who are more tal-ented, petting behind their ear. The 3-4 and 5-6 class-es focus heavily on not get-ting dog hair on your pants but still making the dogs love you. AP dog petting teaches how to

put all of the oth-er talents togeth-er, and how to do other dog-related tasks like walking and playing fetch.

The AP test will be the most difficult test attempted in the school’s history. It involves 10 different dogs of various breeds and backgrounds, and re-quires students to get the dogs to like them in the timed exam. The counselors have not dis-cussed the class with students due to its exclusiveness. It will gradu-ally become available over the next few years, but for now the class will be limited to 15 students because the legal student-dog ratio is 5:1.

By Icky Vicky Eww EwwHero-in-Chief

Although the Corydon is in its 58th continuous year,

the staff has come to a univer-sal agreement to cease publish-ing the monthly newspaper. It was not an easy decision but after every member of the staff took a mental stability test and failed, something had to be done. Asking the editorial page editors for some attribution for this story was problematic, however they responded, “Too much work… Too little time. Can’t talk. Can’t miss the dead-line. Must Distribute on time.” There was less success talk-ing to the athletics editor because she was in the emergency room for extreme carpal tunnel syndrome from the immense amount of ed-iting she had to do on the layout. Even the beloved laser print-er, whom the jouranalsim staff named Helga, is struggling. If Helga could talk, every time she prints a page she would say, “Can’t handle any more jobs.” Frank Carrillo, front page editor says, “Well, the printer has its mood swings. There comes a point that by the end of every issue we have to talk to Helga

very nicely and tell her sweet nothings to get the job done.” Jouranalism nightmares are becoming more consistent in the editors’ sleeping patterns. “I woke up in the middle of the night screaming, ‘I NEED TO FIX THOSE GRAY BOXES!” says Daniel Evans, feature page editor. The fact that the editors are talking to the printer just adds to the evidence that they are going crazy. One of Millikan’s custodians reported that every so often, late at night, she hears something coming from the Corydon headquarters. “It sounded a lot like Moan-ing Myrtle from Harry Potter,” ex-plained the anonymous custodian. “I opened up the door to see what the noise was and it was the edi-tor-in-chief huddled in the dark corner with bloodshot eyes from the bright computer screen.” The advisor hung a black wreath on the door and a no-tice declaring that letters to the editor will no longer be received. What will become of the Corydon staff? The world may never know. The famous Winston Churchill once said, “Now this is not the end. It is not even the be-ginning of the end. But it is, per-haps, the end of the beginning.”

The Last Issue of the Corydon. Forever.

New Dog Petting Class to be a Furry Frenzy

By Hoopla!Fantastic Five

The schools from Los Angeles aren’t going to be the only

ones with free technology any-more. LBUSD confirms that new Android tablets will be assigned to students for educational purposes. Schools from LBUSD have to improve their attendance record to 105 percent in order for students to get new tablets. How-ever, only one school can win. So far, Milli-kan has a 97 percent rate of attendance. Millikan isn’t the only one ahead in the race for the tab-lets though. California Academy of Math and Science, or CAMS, is the closest high school in the tablet contest with a 99.75 per-cent attendance rate. Third place is Renaissance High School for the Arts with 94.65 percent. Apparently, the compe-tition has been a silent one. “There’s a competition?” asked a Millikan senior. “Well, I haven’t heard anything about it, but if it’s for our school tablets then I’m in.”

Yet some Millikan students have known about the contest since the beginning of the school year. In fact, Millikan’s web page has a per-centage rate of student attendance. An anonymous source said, “I’ve slept at Millikan since the announcement of the competi-tion. I haven’t been home since this past September. I even missed Christmas with my family for this. I thought I would forget to come

to school again if I went home for the holidays. My mom brought me my pres-ent, though.

All for one tablet. It’s worth it.” Another anonymous student said she despises this competition. “I don’t get why LBUSD is doing this. They want students to come to school for a reward. A tablet? It doesn’t make much sense. School is the key to success. Students should be coming to school as a manda-tory decision, not for a stupid tab-let. And you can take that to the bank!” If Millikan students want those Android tablets, then they need to get themselves to school and break the 105 percent margin to win.

Android Tablets for All

“Wrote this rhyme on standard sand paper, and worked out the plan and plot for grand caper.”

EVERYTHING MUST GO!

Apple Devices to be destroyed

by 2020

NASA requests Volunteers for Alpha Centauri

Space Mission

Man Finds UFO Debris in New

Mexico

New Club Funds Escalators for 800

BY HEISENBERG

ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG WILL, thought Corydon editor Victoria Lahney after being diagnosed with clinical insanity, insomnia, and early signs of schizophrenia, falls asleep at her desk while working late through the night on the paper’s final issue.

The class will be a new way for students to learn the dif-ficult art that is dog petting.

“I’ve slept at Millikan since the announcement. I even missed Christmas for this. All for one tablet. It’s worth it.”

PAGE 2 APRIL 2323

Jouranalism Staff

Wrote this rhyme on standard sand-paper,

and worked out the plan and plot for grand caper.

Now in Our 2323rd Year of Publication

Icky Vicky and the Jouranalism Task Force have taken on the most villainous issues imaginable. This time, however, they may have met their match. Will Frank’s mystery meat restaurant review destroy humanity as we know it? Or will numerous spelling and grammati-cal errors be their demise? Read on for the shocking conclusion!

Fantastic Five We need to cookPinkmanHoopla!Daniel, The EditorThe one who knocks

Hero-in-ChargeIcky Vicky Ew Ew

VilliansEdna ModeFeat. Pharrell Williams

Button Pusher of JusticeHeisenberg

Corydon Now Online at lbmillikan.schoolloop.com

/Corydon

Dear Editor

Trusty SidekicksMooOooOolia CoweyThe Bee’s Knee’sNo.Judging You

HenchwomenSofalofa BreadKenni Rogers

Good SamaritansNinja KittyMike StandYswizzleCatniss EvergreenРОССИЯ ОСКАР

Why We Need a Student Patio

The Bee’s KneesTrusty Sidekick

A new California law, effec-tive April 1, 2014, will ban

children from riding skateboards. Instead, the driving age will be lowered to 10. This will teach children responsibil-ity at a young age. The law will also pre-vent injuries caused from cars colliding with skateboarders. Critics of the new law complained seconds after it was passed, arguing that 10-year-olds do not have the physical ability to drive a car. However, they over-

look recent scientific studies that prove that skateboards are much harder to turn than cars. And of course, 10-year-olds do have the concentration that is

required to drive a two-ton ve-hicle. Because many children of

the new driving age may be too short to see through the wind-shield on a vehicle, Walmart has already begun to manufacture driver’s booster seats.

Driver’s education will become part of California’s fifth grade curriculum. Many elementary teachers have ex-pressed their enthusi-asm at the opportunity to teach a new subject. “My students have the attention span and maturity to successful-ly learn how to avoid fatal driving acci-

dents,” said one LBUSD teacher. Be aware of 10-year-olds driving down Long Beach’s streets.

DMV Lowers Driving Age to 10 Years Old

By Daniel, The EditorFantastic Five

The bell rings. Teachers lec-ture. The headache from to-

day’s tougher-than-usual lesson sets in. That one kid in the back who does nothing but suck oxy-gen all period laughs at the joke he just made that no one else thought was funny. You stare at the clock and only 13 minutes have passed since the period be-gan. Repeat. The most obvious issue on cam pus today isn’t something extraneous like the budget or test scores, It’s student morale. School is hardly the most exciting event of our lives, considering that from the first day of kin-dergarten to high school gradua-tion, we’ve each spent more than 15,000 hours her. It can take a lot out of a person. And let’s not even start on homework. This country’s educational system, which is number one at being number 17, prides itself about preparing its youngest generation for a future of paying China back for the debt their par-ents have incurred. We do this by turning our schools into a simula-tion of a 19th century workplace – a theory that is complete, utter, and outright bunk because no one ever gets promoted, or gets a raise, or, for that matter, even

gets paid. So let’s throw that the-ory out of the window entirely. Students are more produc-tive workers when they are com-fortable in their own setting. As humans, we tend to favor the “customizable” over the “set-in-stone.” This basic fact is precisely why Millikan should become a pioneer in the educational sector and invest in the construction of a student patio for its most over-worked learners. “What?” says Anthony Mc-Donald, QUEST graduate and

avid oxygen-sucker. “A school patio or student lounge type thing? That’s the weirdest idea you’ve ever had, Daniel. Do it.” Students are already forming exploratory committees focused on making the project a reality. The proposed patio would be on the third floor of the 800 Building, on the rooftop of the structure’s second floor. Blue-prints currently include three pools, two jacuzzis, five barbeque pits, and comfortable seating for 40. The extra exposure to the sun would provide Vitamin D, which has been proven to help

those suffering from depression. The relaxing atmosphere would allow students to recuperate after a long day. Even a recent study from Fox News said making sure that students are more comfortable at school would increase test scores. And since Fox said it, that means it’s got to be at least 10 percent true. Teachers seem to support the idea as well. When asked about his feelings on having a lounge constructed directly outside his classroom, QUEST history

teacher Tim Mulve-hill support the idea. “Teachers to-day are particularly aware of the adverse effects that stress has on a student’s ability to achieve at a high

academic level,” Mulvehill said, while preparing lemonade, ap-plying sunscreen, wearing sun-glasses, setting up a lawn chair, and playing “Fever”, the new Black Keys song, from his ra-dio all in preparation for the new lounge that he will have direct access to. Mulvehill continued, “Re-search shows that allowing students time to tan during the school day increases their likeli-hood of being accepted into top tier universities. So I think that creating a student patio on the roof will help us better America’s future.”

Facebook Makes a ReturnJudging YouTrusty Sidekick

Social media has become an extremely addicting part

of many people’s lives, espe-cially adolescents. One of the first that started the obsession is Facebook. Since the site has become so wildly popular in the adult world as well, many teenag-ers now find it lame and spend their time on other sites. Since the people running Facebook are starting to notice these changes in their demo-graphic they have made a few adjustments to attract a young-er audience. They started with some small promises such as every time a girl gets 20 or more ‘likes’ on a mirror selfie, she will lose 15 pounds. For guys, their muscles would grow a whole inch every 20 likes per flexing selfie. Those worked for a while but it didn’t take long for kids to get tired of that, too, so more drastic changes had to be made. If a high school student posts a surprise selfie with their teacher, an automatic 50 followers are added to their ac-count, and an extra 10 if you get sent out of class. After a survey Facebook they came to the conclusion that followers are extremely important to one’s ego. As a result, they made a deal with their customers that every month of using the site, a random 30 will be added to their profile. They won’t know their new followers but what harm could they really do? Another new feature for reactivating your account or starting a new one, is that you’ll have the ability to block all your annoying relatives that comment on all your pictures without them knowing. Never be embarrassed by your fam-ily’s comments like “put some clothes on, girl!” again. If any of these perks spark your interest remember to sign up or reactivate your account as soon as possible. With the way things are going, more great offers are in store soon.

“A school patio or student lounge type thing? That’s the weirdest idea you’ve ever had,

Daniel. Do it.”Anthony McDonald, QUEST graduate

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? I just don’t know.

An Overworked StudentGrade 12

Hey Tori

It’s me again, your secret lover. I absolutely adore what you do with the paper. Your articles are amazing. I wish I could be there while you write them and stay late editing the pages. Sometimes I’m outside the 800 Building waiting for you to leave. I always have flowers but it seems like I’m never able to catch up with you. I know we’ll be together someday. Hopefully it’s really soon.

Your Secret AdmirerGrade 9

Great Stories

I really loved your article about the biggest world issues such as The Illuminati, OH WAIT, YOU DIDN’T WRITE ABOUT IT. You people are constantly writing about things that don’t matter: homecoming, sports games, something with ASB. WHAT ABOUT CHI-NA’S NUCLEAR MISSILES AND THE NSA? You seriously need to change what you’re publishing before calling your-self a newspaper.

SOMEONE WHO IS PAYING ATTENTIONGrade 11

What are You Even Doing?

You call those boxes gray? The colors are different every time you publish. How have your gray boxes not matched each other for the past six is-sues? Do you people even care about what you’re publishing or are you blind? It takes liter-ally five seconds to fix the gray boxes but you still can’t do it! I have a graphic design blog on Tumblr and I own Pho-toshop. I know what I’m doing. You people don’t.

COMPASS StudentGrade 12

APRIL 2323 PAGE 3

By No.Trusty Sidekick

Taurus (April 20-May 21) Control-loving Taurus, be

very careful how you act. Your love of control is going to get you in a lot of trouble soon. How? By being the ever-irritating control freak. Stay away from all social activity until next school year and save everyone from being annoyed. Gemini (May 21-June 21) Talkative, education-loving Gemini, you are a bad combi-nation of not knowing when to hush up and being a know-it-all. Please. Stay away from any kind of socialization until next school

year, so you’ll have some friends when you come back. Cancer (June 21-July 23) Emotional Cancer, it appears that you wish we could all just get along like we used to in middle school. You want to bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles so we can all be happy, but you can’t. You don’t even go here. Leo (July 23-August 23) Protective Leo, you can take your passcode off your phone now. No one is trying to read your texts. Please refrain from social in-teraction this summer to ensure trustworthy relationships when you return to school in the fall. Virgo (August 23-Septem-ber 23) Cool, calm, artsy Virgo,

you are not a hipster. Put your organic, locally-grown, coffee down and stay home all summer away from your “misunderstood” Tumblr page. Libra (September 23-Oc-tober 23) Justice-seeking Libra, you don’t always need to mediate arguments. Mind your business and avoid social interaction until next school year. Scorpio (October 23-Novm-ber 22) Passionate Scorpio, low-er your voice; it’s never that se-rious. Unless you can tone down your passion, stay away from so-cial interaction until next school year. Sagittarius (November 22-December 22) Happy, absent-

minded Sagittarius, we tried to tell your fortune, but you zoned out. Don’t do that to your friends too. Hello, are you paying atten-tion? Stay away from all social-ization. Capricorn (December 22-January 20) Driven, dull Cap-ricorn. You suck most of the fun out of the room. Just stay home. Aquarius (January 20-Feb-ruary 18) Stubborn, emotionless, generous Aquarius, sometimes you do not care at all. Literally, you do not care. When others bring this to your attention, you are too stubborn to listen and that makes everyone uncomfortable. Avoid social interaction for the next 10 years.

Pisces (February 18-March 20) Energetic, sensitive Pisces, you are constantly at a 10 and you need to be at a 4 or lower. Calm down. Stop crying and calm down. Your friends are run-ning away from you. Aries (March 20-April 20) Commanding, courageous Ar-ies, this summer no one is going to take orders from you so either be like the rest of your peers or don’t leave your home this sum-mer. You’re not the leader, so you can definitely chill. Take things as they come and don’t be afraid to not be in everyone’s business. Your friends love you, that is for sure, but only when you’re not being bossy. Shhh...

JROTC to Return to MillikanBy Hoopla!Fantastic Five

The JROTC program became defunct due to lack of funds

several years ago. However in the 2014-2015 school year, the JROTC program will be revived at Millikan High School and it will be here to stay. With a few tweaks. JROTC, or Junior Reserve Officers’ Training Corps, is a federal program for high schools that is sponsored by the United States Armed Forces. Students who join JROTC learn leader-ship, citizenship, patriotism for the US, oral and written skills, and basic military skills. However, space will be lim-ited. Only 14 students can partic-ipate in JROTC next year. Each student will be evaluated by their grades, attendance record, and behavioral status. Students also have to be able to stand straight with good posture and able to

run at least 3:50 mile time (for both males and females) and run an extreme obstacle course also known as Extreme Baton. For example, throughout the school, the participant runs from the 100 Building and goes through every other building in numerical order and passes the baton to their group member for new students to join. The 800 Building will be the toughest, as students will have to scale the Building, and zip-line to the 900 building to reach the finish line. Returning students will be evaluated by their pre-vious rank, behavioral status in previous classes, and grades. However, returning students don’t have to do the mile, but in-stead do the obstacle course. There will be a new rank that will be implied in JROTC for each school that has the pro-gram. The new rank will be Su-preme General. This rank will be held by one student in each state

of the US. The student will be chosen for their leadership skills, how well the student can follow or-ders, and how well the student can work with others. Selec-tion will begin the first week of school of the 2015 year in Wash-ington, D.C. New drills will be imple-mented in JROTC. The students will train once a week with a retired veteran soldier and train like an actual soldier. This is op-tional for students who want a career in the military and don’t have to take part in this activity. Exercises include extreme military running around the school to Heartwell Park, com-bat training with other students, and anything that includes car-diovascular exercises. “I would consider joining JROTC again if the program returned,” said Fluffy, a former JROTC student who wanted his name to be anonymous.

Putin’s SmileBy MooOooOolia CoweyTrusty Sidekick

As the Olympics came to a close, Russian athletes

took home a total of 33 medals, the most from this Olympics. This good news was sure to bring a smile to Russian Presi-dent Vladimir Putin’s face. This would not be an un-common sight, as Putin is often photographed with a happy de-meanor. He is known as a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, and various sources say his grin is a trademark of his work as a Russian politician. “His good spirit and gentle nature can be seen on his face. Anyone who looks at him can see he radiates cheer,” says Kim Jong-un, North Korea’s supreme leader. “I only hope someday I can exemplify the joy he puts into his work and everyday life

to the extent he does.” Putin recently displayed his grin at the popular Rus-sian walk-a-thon charity event, Smiles for Miles, which do-nates money to underfunded dental organizations. Putin walked the mile route 12 times before he stated that his cheeks hurt too much to continue. Putin has often been criti-cized for not presenting himself as a more stoic, serious leader, but many people have stated Putin’s distinctive smile shows his approachable personality, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Putin has taken up mul-tiple new hobbies, including stand up comedy. Putin was even seen laugh-ing at a press conference when asked about technical difficul-ties during the Olympics, glee-fully saying, “No one is per-fect!”

What’s in the Stars for You this Spring?

Horses to Replace Golf Carts

CSO’S SADDLE UP to become more eco-friendly. All golf carts on campus will be replaced with horses for a faster way to get around campus. CSO’s will also be given authentic Word War I uniforms. Pictured above is Dr. Cornejo test riding Gilbert around the quad. As soon as the stables are built, horses will be in full force.

The Top Five

“The Top 5,” a new TV series, is coming to the

Millikan campus. Starting in April, the show will investigate what makes the top five highest perform-ing Global Education districts so successful by filming live action footage of Millikan’s students and teachers. In honor of our last publi-

cation, the Corydon has spent the remainder of our miniscule budget on Googplesoft Movie PaperTM (patent pending), to print gifs and full-length vid-eos. This revolu-tionary technology is experi-mental, but by pressing the play button above, you will be able to view the Corydon news report. Or nah.

BY HEISENBERG feat. DANIEL, THE EDITOR

BY ICKY VICKY EW EW

By Kenni RogersHenchwoman

Their goal is to get from point A to point B as smoothly as

possible. This could be an important skill to have in the event of a zombie apocalypse or un-caf-feinated teachers. For the Millikan parkour team, it took many years to cre-ate the most basic movements and refine them so that almost any obstacle could be overcome using a variety of techniques. Players built layer upon lay-er of armor on their bodies over the years, learning not to get hurt. They repeat things thousands of times and do not rush the pro-cess. “It was mostly trial and er-

ror, with a large amount of the latter,” says highest wall runner Luke Skywalker. “I joined the team because it was captivating to see someone move through an environment in ways we had not believed were possible. It was inspiring to witness the human body push the very limits of its capabilities,” he says. The crucial fundamentals that build a great traceur include: balance, precision, and plain old sweat- dripping dedication. Their indoor training ground is designed to grow in complex-ity and challenges as the traceurs grow in strength, skill, and confi-dence. They learn the basic skills of parkour such as: balancing, run-ning, jumping, tic tacs (jumping from one wall to another), land-

ing, rolling, climbing, cat leaps and swinging. “The days after your first session of parkour are hard. That unspeakable pain from walk-ing up the 800 Building stairs in the days following your first real hardcore session is unforget-table,” says fastest timer, Eerin Bitter. “I remember my quads feeling like they had been beat-en up by a gang of angry thugs with metal baseball bats for three weeks. But hey, hardcore park-our!” Parkour is no joke (unless you fall) and should be taken se-riously. Next time you see Milli-kan’s parkour team vaulting on the rails or cat leaping from one building to another, admire their hardcore skills.

Hardcore Free-Running Ramkour!

By Catniss EvergreenGood Samaritan

With rising numbers of re-ferrals and student disobe-

dience, the administration has found a solution. Four students from each SLC will be chosen to fight in Milli-kan’s first ever Hunger Games. Twenty-four participants from six SLCs will compete, but only one winner will receive the ultimate prize: no homework for the rest of the school year and a

guarantee that he or she will pass all classes that year, regardless of test scores. In addition, the winner’s SLC will take the title of the best SLC in the school. What is Millikan’s Hunger Games? It’s a hardcore paint-ball competition that may last up to a few days. Unlike regular paintball competitions, there will be much more space to spread out or to team up. This game is designed to last

up to a week; however, if you get hungry you better be tough or crafty because the only food

will be out in the open, and who knows who might be watching? If you can’t get food or if you injure yourself, you can for-

feit, but that will make you look bad. Everyone will survive Milli-kan’s Hunger Games. However, the condition they will be in is another story. The chosen contestants will have a hectic week leading up to the fight. They will be swamped with homework, they must find so-

lutions to overlapping extracur-riculars, and manage social life issues like they have never expe-rienced.

The lucky 24 will feel the in-tensity increase as the week pro-gresses, ending with the paintball war. “I’m definitely going to win,” says MIT tribute Oscar Salinas, “I love paintball, and I love not having homework. I’m up for it.” “On the one hand,” says Alli-son Davis, COMPASS tribute, “I don’t understand the logic behind this. On the other hand, you gotta do what you gotta do to pass your classes.”

May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor

By Daniel, The EditorFantastic Five

Millikan’s cycling team is gaining steam. They’re

going full steam ahead so watch where you tread. The bike paths are theirs. Get in their way? No one dares. Their opponents croaked like toads and were left with holes in their tires and to the sound of a taunting choir of shame. How lame. CAMS’s team lost like overachieving clowns on uni-cycles, and Renaissance should get off their bikes and go back to shopping at Michael’s. Millikan puts pedals to the street making mincemeat out of all the fake athletes who can’t bring heat. You can’t convince me that I’m exaggerating or being dis-ingenuous. I’m listening to Wu Tang on a train while I’m pen-ning this. Wilson can stop brag-ging about popping wheelies; Poly’s excuse for a cycling team is slower than Sprint 3G. Excuse me, let me stop my-self before someone’s feelings get too hurt. My rhymes are mad decent, but not as good as Earl Sweatshirt. The star of our team prowls on his prey like a vulture. No chip on his shoulder but a lot of pride to bolster. He likes to win his way, no more no less. Allow

me to present to you a quote from team captain Sean Suarez: “So yes, we’re pretty good for next week’s race,” stated Suarez with a smug grin on his face. “I can’t imagine a time when we weren’t first place! We turn other teams into a state-wide dis-grace.” The plot thickens like a pot of hot chickens as Millikan takes the battle to the mad fast hills of Seattle. That’s right, the riding Rams have risen – a crowd fa-vorite like Justin Bieber locked up in state prison. The Seattle event is the big-gest in the nation and our extreme team is going to make the com-petition a nuclear wasteland. If you caught that one verse, yes I’m about that DOOM game, remember all caps when you spell the man’s name. Another top Ram cyclist is Justin Pumilia, if you don’t know him you best get familiar! He finished his last race in first place, with none of the stragglers keeping up with his pace. Darrian Talamantes has curly hair like Hades; Eddie Tor-res rides a Trek bike and gets all of the ladies. Millikan’s cyclists are on track to get 48 trophies, and now I’m done rhyming so don’t beg me to rap more, please.

Millikan’s Cycling Team Is off the Chain

By PinkmanFantastic Five

A team that not many notice will soon be heading to

CIF. That team is the hide and seek team. When asked how he thinks the hide and seek team will per-form at CIF, QUEST senior Kyle Edaro states, “That exists?” While no one knows who the coach is or where the team practices, they’re on the road to CIF.

Geanette McAdams, team captain states, “Practice is fairly difficult because we have to keep track of everyone when they’re spread around the school. Team members also assume they’re being tricked out of their hiding spot so asking to speak to them is difficult.” Another common struggle the team faces is competing against other schools, since the only other schools that compete are those with students who peo-ple don’t notice, like CAMS and Lakewood.

Millikan Hide and Seek Team Rises to Victory

PAGE 4 APRIL 2323