The Kirk | November 2019 1

Change teaches us dependence on God. Without it, we think we are god. It saddens me to think that God may be calling me from this church. There was a time when many Christians became confused about their sense of “call” and saw it as a word primarily meant for pastors and missionaries. It’s important to rethink that term. When we read Scripture more carefully, we realize that every Christian is commissioned to follow Christ. Jesus tells us this through the Great Commission in Matthew 28:19: “Go ye into all the world and make disciples of all nations.” This means that all of our work, our careers, and our skills fit into the large context of this Great Commission. We are either called “to” something or called “from” something as we serve God. It’s important to work hard at “learning” in order to have the greatest freedom later in “doing.” It takes time for every minister in every church or situation to learn any skill that will open the doorway to necessary changes that need to be made. We must take that time—for me it’s been five years.

That’s the meaning of call “to” a position. Then, there is the being called “from” a position. I understood my call “to” this community in part consisted of dissolving dysfunctional patterns of communication by a handful of members who have caused other called pastors to leave. I now find myself caught in that same dysfunction. I have been on a five-year learning curve on how to help move this church forward from these unhealthy dynamics. How did I approach my call? By working together with our elders to develop healthy aspects of ministry through the committee process. All was going well as our finances exceeded expectations, children’s programs grew, as well as the music program. And, the Session agreed with my vision for a Youth and Young Family Director position to be hired. The building has major upgrades and renovations. Solar energy is installed. A new roof has been put on the Hart Building, and one is scheduled for Wilson Hall. I felt my calling here was confirmed by this progress and the leadership of the Session. In addition to programmatic progress and changes in our buildings, together we presented a vision that could change our trajectory from running off pastors, to growing in outreach and mission. My intention was to change leadership concepts from a team-lead structure, where the loudest and meanest voices ruled, to a Session-led structure with committee support and Session-led decisions. Over these past few years we have succeeded. We now have a Session that makes decisions that affect the church’s future vision for growth and proclamation. I also have a vision for who we hire as staff. My vision includes hiring a Youth and Family Director who would have the potential to become an Associate Pastor and then would be able to fall next in line as your Head of Staff. Because we have a very vocal few who react against installed ministers and interim pastors, my hope is that this new approach would help us to move smoothly toward long-term ministry and pastoral support. I thought we found someone the first time we tried a couple of years ago. But, it didn’t work out; and he had to be fired. This firing upset the “few.” I believe this is when the meanness toward me really became obvious. People were willing to believe the gossip that a handful of folks manufactured toward this firing. This is where the cracks of leadership began to show. Two active elders tried to split the church with a letter-writing campaign encouraging people to withhold their pledging. They weren’t successful. The Personnel Committee was even more committed to my vision and looked again and found another candidate who received Session approval. This position was approved and a person identified. The plan was to bring on the person in the summer of 2019 and allow him time to get acclimated. After Easter of 2020, I would take my four-month spiritual leave; and he would take all pastoral responsibilities until my return. That never occurred. My plan now is to present Session a few options that would allow me to continue my call here if it is their will. Following past experiences with destroying pastors, the mean actions and people are protected with anonymity. This silence empowers those few in a way that is unintended. Their action, letters, and identity are never made available in any general way by the leadership. Most of the congregation never knows of the rancor and venom that is being spread. The committees, session, and presbytery all seem afraid of a confrontation. It might make matters worse. I know it is not in the nature of most congregants to write letters of support even though they will always outnumber the protestors, but most of the congregation is unaware until final decisions are made. The result is the Pastor is left to defend against slander alone. This must change if this culture is ever to change.

The KirkNovember 2019

The Kirk, November 2, 2019. What has happened over these past 11 months has communicated to me that I am no longer the one called “to” help this church move forward, and I feel called “from” this church into retirement. As I have observed, the reactions of a few and the impact that their letter writing has had on others leads me to feel I am not the leader this church needs. I want to remove myself for the sake of this community. Let me explain places of conflict that have led me to this decision. Becky is a great healer and brought this trait to the Music Department as a volunteer. She worked with all the music people and the division that existed there and seemed to bring unity. For that, we can be thankful; it seemed we were moving forward. But as we have seen recently, old patterns have returned. I am being slandered by some in the Music Department for following FPC’s Personnel Manual. Individuals are saying: “Dennis’ unwillingness to both remove himself from a meeting that addressed his financial relationship with the church or to allow discussion about concerns voiced by the congregation.” “He is complicit in creating a financial and ethical mess,” “Not sure we can build up the trust necessary to work through these issues.” What they are asking for is an apology; but what they are wanting is submission to their will. This all began when I foolishly accepted a loan the church offered for housing when I first arrived. I accepted the loan and have paid annual interest on it every year. “Some people” suggested I pay that loan off before I sell my house. I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to do that without getting a part-time job. So, I looked at my earned vacation time and thought it would be a positive gesture to cash out all my earned vacation days and apply that toward my loan. This would not have impacted the annual budget at all. I thought things were on schedule for me to take my fifth-year Spiritual leave. Due to my interpretation of FPC’s Personnel Manual regarding vacation policy pay out to the minister, I made a request to pay down my housing loan from the church and that is when the bottom fell out and the meanness, slander, and accusations grew in this poison of meanness. My request for vacation payout came after five years of very meaningful work. For various reasons, it was my choice not to take the time away from the church. Payout for vacation was meant to be a five -year mid-point in my calling here. The Personnel Committee agreed with my interpretation of FPC’s Personnel Policy, which was in place before I arrived. In November of 2018, the Personnel Committee sent my payout request to the Finance Committee for payout—not to give me cash, but to pay down my loan from the church. No budget money was being asked for, just a pay down on my church loan. The Finance Committee said that couldn’t be done due to California law and that it needed to be paid out in salary all at once. Much to my dismay this caused a flurry of “parking lot” talk, accusations, and slander that has now divided the congregation into those who want an apology from me for asking for this payout and for not leaving an August Congregational Meeting as Moderator. I have been asked to apologize for not taking vacation; to apologize for requesting a pay-out for unused days; to apologize for not leaving the last Congregational Meeting and allowing it to be hi-jacked

by a few who don’t understand Presbyterian Polity. All this I interpret to mean that I must submit to them or else they will continue to make my time here miserable. This is how my calling has changed. My vision for this church isn’t leading us out of its meanness from a few. My calling here has been forced to change just as things in life change. I truly thought I could get rid of the cancer of “mean.” But it is back or at least it’s not quiet. This is why it is important for me to stay grounded in my understanding for my call from here. I feel I have failed you but, hopefully, not God. If things don’t change through the leadership of this church and our Presbytery, my plan is to retire. Throughout my time here some passions have been constant for me. I have always felt a love for pastoral ministry, preaching, and community involvement. But it has been through this upheaval and bitterness by a few that I have learned about some strong, mean spirited, and character assassination letters that my style of leadership and guidance for the future of this church is not respected. There are a few who are willing to continue this division, which I believe will only hurt the church the longer I stay. My time here as Pastor has been one step along my journey of understanding and trusting how God works in my life and through this church. I have used my tenure at FPC to help foster growth and understanding in Scripture, through our programs, staff, church, and Presbytery as we all serve to proclaim the gospel. But now I believe I may be called “from” here into retirement as your needs and your Session’s leadership and Presbytery continue to separate from my vision. I will sell my house and pay off my church loan as quickly as possible. Hopefully, you will take certain risks that God is calling you to take by dealing with this meanness. All things happen for the good. Sometimes there is disorientation, distrust, and deception. And then, we watch God reorient us on a different level. That experience becomes a resource for our next step of faith. I believe God has led us to where we are, and we have grown increasingly confident in stepping into the unknown and in trusting God for the outcome. Becky and I look for our next step as we pray you will look for yours. And so, let us seek God’s confidence as we move through this transition and seek understanding of God’s call to lead us from here to where He wants us to be. If the negative culture in this church can be reversed, I am “all in” with my continued, dedicated service to this church. However, if leaders and members are not willing to confront this self-destructive behavior, I, too, must follow preceding pastors and terminate my employment at FPCSLO.

Respectfully, Dennis

2 The Kirk | November 2019

COMING UPBROWN BAG Friday, November 1, the FPCSLO Brown Bag Concert welcomes Bellissima Handbells. Bellissima creator Rebecca Hendricks and her duet partner, Judy Zaretzka, will perform a variety of works at noon in Wilson Hall.

MUSIC SCHEDULE FOR FALLRehearsals every Wednesday, 5:15 p.m. Handbell Choir6:15 p.m. Praise Singers7:30 p.m. Chancel Choir

STEWARDSHIP DINNERYou are invited to the Stewardship Dinner on Friday, November 8, 2019. The catered dinner will be at no cost to you as a generous donor has funded the dinner. The social hour starts at 5:30 p.m., and dinner will be served around 6 p.m. The Budget and Finance Committee will present the FPC Five-Year Plan and invite your inputs to the plan.

SLO BOATSSAVE THE DATE!SLO BOATS-EPIPHANY DINNER-FRIDAY, JANUARY 10SLO Boats is a fellowship group that meets 4-5 times a year. At the Epiphany dinner, all participating choose the activities and 2-4 people take over the responsibility of planning the activity. (Some past activities include: attending the Oklahoma performance and dinner; visiting SLO Lighthouse, including lunch; walking through the Elfin Forest and, eating lunch; Melodrama; having a Potluck and listening to The Bald Spots; and preparing and serving lunch for Prado.)Please join us in January! Details will be made in the December Kirk and by email. If you want more information please sign up on the white slip in your weekly bulletin or contact Pam Rodewald (805) 215-2396 or psrmony@mac.com.

BOOK BROWSERSBook Browsers will meet Tuesday, November 5 to discuss Empire of the Summer Moon by S.C. Gwynne, at 7 p.m. in the library. Looking ahead, we will discuss Educated by Tara Westover on December 3. If you have any questions, please contact Diane Shervem at 805-543-1473 or dshervem@charter.net.

WORSHIPMy personal thanks to those who attended the “Festival of Worship” and especially those who turned in the questionnaire. You were asked to check the things you liked. Following are the results:The plan for next fall is to 1.) Extend the single services one more Sunday and 2.) Have the Festival on September 13. A great way to kick off the fall programs.Again, thanks for all you do.

Bob Gordon, Chair of Worship

FESTIVAL OF WORSHIP QUESTIONAIRETABULATION

Questionnaires returned 34First service 22Second service 12

Marked as likedSharing time 11Piano 14Organ 19Anthem 15Sermon 32Special Music 34

The worship committee is seeking the followingWe are going to have a training session for readers/ liturgists. Our search is for those folks who would like to be liturgists in worship or readers for special services like the Christmas Eve lessons and carols service. The training will be Saturday November 16 at 10 AM in the sanctuary. If this is of interest to you please come and investigate. For questions or to sign jup please contact Bob Gordon at 805-541-1532 or sloflwrs4u@aol.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!To the following seniors (over 85) who have birthdays in November. Lou Pippin – November 10 Lou Shevlin – November 14 Jo McRee – November 29

And to everyone else who has an November birthday.

Our church records may be incomplete. If we have overlooked someone, please contact the church office.

3 The Kirk | November 2019

CONGREGATION CARE CORNERCongregational Care Corner for November -

Please pray for our church family, especially for the Rev. Dennis Falasco as he guides our congregation,

For our elders and deacons as they lead us,

For Jen Rabenaldt and those who help with our Youth and Children’s Ministries,

For Joel Drenckpohl and the Front Porch Ministry,

For those of our church family who are undergoing treatments for various health issues,

For our church’s senior citizens, especially those who are confined to their homes or care centers: Gladys Brannum, John Evans, Barbara Frank, Jean Honeyman, Lorna Hudson, Starr Jenkins, Ralph Nunley, Joy Reed, Idabelle Shields, John Stechman, Richard Wiens, and Barbara Wines.

For Lionel Beyer as well as family and friends of Linda Beyer who passed away in September,

For the women and men who do so much to support the countless ministries, missions and activities of our church,

For members, friends and family serving in the military Nic Beem – stationed at Vandenberg Drew Descary – stationed in Gulfport, MS Laura Kraemer – Navy Medical School in Maryland Michael Poe - stationed in Meridian, MS Joseph Sall (son of Anne Ramirez)– stationed in Carlisle, PA. Travis Hatakeyama (grandson of Luensers) – stationed in N. Carolina Brendan Humphrey (grandson of Leila) –on the Carl Vinson - Navy Aircraft Carrier Sean Gillson (grandson of Barbara and Gene) – stationed on Whidbey Island R. Brooks Anderson (grandson of Dorothy Truesdale) – stationed in Groton, CT Chris King (grandson of Lois Morgan) – stationed in CO Juan Martin Chavez (grandson of Susan and Craig Updegrove) – stationed in Minot, ND

For all of us as we serve God wherever He calls us.

CHILDREN'S EDWhat a great time we’ve had with our programs this fall. There will be lots going on and even more coming up. Thank you for your continued support. I know I appreciate it and so do the kids!

This year at Wednesdays at the Rock we are enjoying music, art, science, service, and free time. The kids are continuing to learn about being good friends and neighbors and what that means here and beyond our walls. We have made new friends and enjoyed staying connected to “old” friends. You are invited to come to spend time with us at any time. We would like to encourage you to invite any kids you know to join us not only on Wednesdays, but also on Sunday as well. We are building a great community and are excited to be sharing with other churches.

Sunday School - 9 a.m. - kids are excused after the Passing of the Peace to attend Sunday SchoolChildren’s Church - 10 a.m.Sunday School - 11:15 a.m. - Kids are excused after the Anthem to attend Sunday SchoolSkilled Nursery Care - available 8:30 a.m. - 12:15 p.m.

Wednesdays at the Rock Every Wednesday 4:30 p.m. - 7 p.m.Nursery - 5th Grade

4 The Kirk | November 2019

YOUTH Our Youth are the best! We have really been having fun getting to know each other, our leaders, and our church family. We are working towards being more involved in the life of the church. We encourage you to talk to us when you see us, and thank you for always welcoming us and supporting our programs and, sometimes , goofy ideas. New faces are always welcome. So, if you know any 6th through 12th grade students, send them our way. We’ve been learning all about worship and what the different elements of worship mean to our church. You will probably be seeing more of us up front in the near future, so we would like to thank you in advance for your support.Sundays - All Youth 6th - 12th WelcomePower Hour (Sunday School) - 10 a.m.Youth Group 6 p.m. - 8 p.m.

ADULT EDBACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!The Adult Ed class titled "I'm dead, now what?" has returned through November 13, with dinner at 5:45 p.m. and the class immediatley following.

FINDING JOY IN CREATIVE LIVINGA class led by Jim Seeber at 10 a.m. Sunday mornings. "Everyday Life", is where the joy is rooted. We must get past the (boring) routinization of daily life to discover where our joy can be. This series will attempt to stir us to each explore our potential for creative living in our lives.

AWAITING THE ALREADYPlease join us for a study hearing the stories we have heard over the years. This time, we will look at the Gospel writers for guidance. More importantly, you will be equipped to enter this season fully prepared to receive Christ in a fresh, new way! We will begin November 17 and continue for four more sessions. We will have books available for you to have, but it is not necessary to have a book to join us! Please sign-up in the courtyard between services on November 3 and 10.

PRESBYTERIAN WOMENCelebrating the Ten Commandments with a new perspective is ahead for us in November when we look at The Word that you shall not use the name of God in vain. How do you feel when someone uses your name in a negative way? What does your name mean to you or others? We will have a great time sharing and studying this lesson with Rev. Eugenia Gamble leading the way. Our shipment to Kayenta was sent with all the love and passion that the women of this church shared in their contribution of products needed for the Navajo people. Three large and three smaller boxes are heading to Kayenta, Arizona, in time for the celebration of the birth of Christ. THANK YOU ALL!Another mission project is ahead of us with the collection of the annual Thank offering. This is a nation wide offering to help all the Presbyterian churches outreach needs. There are 18 projects, from Synods across the USA and 6 international programs working to provide medical aid, improving facilities, prevention of trafficking, cancer treatments for needy women, lunch program for children in need, providing 10 actual beds per month for disadvantaged children who have had to sleep on the floor, support to families struggling to pay for essential household services, help to build relationship and to build ADA compliant facilities. Based on Jeremiah 29:12-13: “Then when you call upon me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.Watch for the notices in the Peak and Sunday announcements. We will place special envelopes in the pew pockets. One more thing, do you seek solitude? Articles in the current issue of the Horizon Magazine have several helpful ideas. We are all too busy and need to think about ways to spend or capture quite time for ourselves and not feel guilty.YOU ARE ALLOWED. To take time for stillness, reflection, meditation, prayer, to think through things, and be still. We are too busy always processing and procrastinating. Be more thoughtful and caring. Develop a deeper connection to God and be more mindful. These are the many ideas of ways these articles try to help you to "Be Still and Listen." In addition, they have wonderful ideas for each Bible lesson we study each month. And, when you subscribe you get the Horizon Bible Study Book, which we use every year for FREE saving you $10.

Dorothy Truesdale, PW Moderator

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FRONT PORCHThe Front Porch tee shirts say, “There is something about this place.” Some people say it cannot be explained; it has to be experienced. But all summer long, stories have been posted on Facebook as students try to explain what the “something” is. Here are a few quotes. Rose Goodwin, Landscape Architecture, writes: “The thing about Front Porch is it’s different from other places or groups in college. In your major or faith group, you come together because you all have something in common. At Front Porch, I have experienced different ideas and kinds of people from what I grew up with. It's been a growing experience for me to learn about others, and it has helped me become a more informed person.” Eddie Gutierrez, Biology, and Mechanical Engineering writes: “Through Front Porch, I got to build a family and a solid group to rely on. A home away from home. I didn’t realize how caring people could actually be.” As the school year gets into full swing, returning and new students alike are experiencing the “something” about Front Porch. Through Wednesday night dinners, Thursday hikes, Saturday worship, and fun activities like bunco and camping trips, students meet and form relationships with each other and experience the love of God in real time. Thank you for your continued support of this amazing college ministry right in our back yard. Contact Joel Drenckpohl or Dom Floyd at director@frontporchslo.org to arrange a visit or speak with Tad Miller or Susan Updegrove, current Front Porch Board members.

FROM YOUR DCEI just wanted to thank CE, Personnel, Pastor Falasco, and all of you who see the value in Christian Education, for your support of my continuing education. I just completed a course on "Polity, Mission and Programming," at Union Presbyterian Seminary in Virginia. I have one more class to complete and will then be a Certified Christian Educator through our denomination. This has been an amazing process, and I look forward to completing this program. I have learned a lot and have loved being able to implement a lot of what I have learned here at First Pres. It is always a joy to actually do and see the positive outcome of something you have worked hard to accomplish. I look forward to expanding what CE can do to reach even more of our community. I am especially looking forward to expanding our Adult Ed. programming. I am also looking into ways to bring Christian Ed. back into the forefront of our Presbytery. We have come a long way in the past couple of years, and I am proud to be a part of the growth and expansion of our programs. Feeling Blessed, Jen

A SPECIAL SHOUT OUTJeri and Michael Hocking have been a true blessing to our Youth Program. They have graciously volunteered to be leaders for this program, and we love having them around. Not only do they willingly share their wisdom and insight, but they have also brought music back to the Youth Program. Anyone who can get a room full of mostly boys to sing at this age, deserves recognition Their talents, of which there are many, have been such a blessing. So, when you see Jeri and Michael, say thank you! They are fairly new to our congregation and have jumped in with both feet. Their enthusiasm is contagious, and I for one am glad they landed in the Youth program. God sends certain people into our lives at a specific time for a good reason. Thank you God for sending Jeri and Michael our way!

6 The Kirk | November 2019

FALL FROLICWhat a fun event for all generations! Thank you, Dave, for opening your home and for all you do for us. We are blessed by your generosity and support of our programs.

ENDOWMENTCREATE A LASTING LEGACYManagement, Experience, and Leadership Skills Put to Work at FPCSLO Dorothy Truesdale joined the congregation at First Presbyterian, San Luis Obispo, with decades of experience managing a non-profit organization. To this day she uses her skills to help guide the First Presbyterian Church Endowment. Dorothy’s management skills were honed during the 30 years she was Executive Director of Camp Fire Girls covering San Luis Obispo and northern Santa Barbara Counties. During that time she joined our congregation in 1982, and was immediately recruited by longtime leader of Presbyterian Women (PW), Elaine Horton, to work on Bible Study and PW. Dorothy soon was put to work on the Church Finance Committee, now called The Budget and Finance Committee. And, as we might expect, Dorothy was a ruling Elder for three years each under the Revs. Barbara Haddon and Jim Blades. Church leadership was not over for Dorothy; she served as Asst. Church Treasurer for ten years while the Office of Church Treasurer was successively held by five members. Lastly, Dorothy joined the Endowment Sub-committee in 1990; a seat she holds today.Dorothy enjoys her work on the Endowment Sub-committee, including evaluating the income and use of allotted endowment funds, as well as the decisions to be carefully considered keeping the Endowment healthy. Her reward is realizing how the Endowment provides funding for First Presbyterian missions and programs. If you would like to consider a gift to any part of our Endowment Fund, please talk with a member of our church’s Endowment Committee: John Eichler, Bert Townsend, Dorothy Truesdale, Roger Verity, and Chair Virginia Walter.Even a modest gift will make a difference.NOTE: There is a vacancy on the Endowment Sub-committee. If you’d like to sample this rewarding work please speak with Virginia Walter, Chair.

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PO Box 591981 Marsh StreetSan Luis Obispo, CA93406tel: 805.543.5451email: churchoffice@fpcslo.orgweb: fpcslo.org

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