the healing circle

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The Healing Circle

Trauma Recovery GroupsTrueSelf Transitions Enod Gray, LCSW, CSAT-S, CGP2630 Fountain View, Suite 225 www.trueselftransitions.com 713-781-7272 Houston, TX 77057

http://www.trueselftransitions.com/

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The Cells RememberEverything that happens to us from the womb on is stored in the body. Our bodies have marvelous mechanisms for survival. They do not allow us to consciously remember trauma UNTIL WE ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO DO SO. “…traumatic memories, in effect, stay “stuck” in the brain’s nether regions-the nonverbal, nonconscious, subcortical regions (amygdala, thalamus, hippocampus, hypothalamus, and brain stem, where they’re not accessible to the frontal lobes-the understanding, thinking, reasoning parts of the brain.” …Bessel van der Kolk “The Body Keeps the Score”

TrueSelf Transitions

TrueSelf Transitions 3

Therefore, clients do not understand WHY they feel and behave the ways they do. I’ve seen many highly educated and successful men and women behaving in ways that do not make sense. It doesn’t make sense to them either. They can’t know what they don’t know, because trauma resides in the part of the brain that is reactive (flight, fight, freeze) rather than thinking and active. We, as clinicians, need to be open to many modalities, as well as individual talk therapy, to gently open the doors of discovery to this trauma.


Recovery is not just about:Getting and keeping clean and sober

White knuckling it

Getting your relationship fixed

Feeling OK again

Staying off the computer It is much more.Detaching It’s about Transformation.Going to church and meetings

Knowing why you became an addict

Confronting your abusers

Being honest


to undergo a change in form, appearance, or character; become transformed. –noun

Physics . to change into another form of energy. __verb

To change in condition, nature, or character; convert. __verb

This is a process that is ongoing and progressive—we all go through it and either “grow”, “stay stagnant” or “regress”. Our responsibility, as therapists and healers, is to assist clients to grow, change and move forward in a positive and healthy way. This is but one of the ways—through trauma groups.

TRANSFORMATION: A process meaning

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/energy

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nature


Why Trauma Work?Help clients gain an understanding of the origins of their addiction.

Make connection with coping mechanism(s) begun in childhood.

Identify patterns of abuse and how they affect adult behaviors.

Empower clients to “drive the bus.”

Identify inner children to be nurtured/parented by the adult client.

Embrace broken off parts of themselves.

Facilitate Transformation process.

Encourage and teach brain reintegration by living within the “Window of Tolerance” or “Recovery Zone.”

Confront abusers and let go of past hurts, thus enabling clients to know their True Selves.


Why Address Trauma In Group?

•Shame reduction by courageously sharing painful experiences

•Provides opportunity to experience authentic connection with others.

•Permission to identify and honor feelings long ignored

•Support and encouragement

•Non judgmental acceptance of others with same issues

•Hearing others’ stories may bring up memories that relate to one’s own journey

•Help given by other group members in identifying unconscious roadblocks to transformation.

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•Sense of accomplishment in mutual goal of healing

•Learning how others overcome pain in difficult situations.

•Opportunity for bonding with group rather than looking to therapist for answers.

•Facilitates reintegration of brain functioning.

•Develops empathy for others’ suffering.

•Safe container for deep grief work.

•Opportunity to cross-talk.

•And, finally, a spiritual experience of being in Sacred Space.

Why Address Trauma In Group? (continued)



Tips for Therapists in Preparing to Do a Group

If possible, choose group members from your own individual clients. You will already have established a relationship.If someone is referred for group, interview and screen them at least twice to get a feel for whether they will be a good fit.If still in doubt about readiness for group, see them individually until you are sure they are ready. Better to wait than to have to pull them from group.Get written consent to communicate with their other therapist(s). Set clear and precise guidelines and have clients sign copy to agree to abide by the guidelines.


Readiness for Trauma Work In GroupCriteria The Bottom Line for

TherapistAcceptance of

powerlessness over addiction (Explain.)

Attendance at 12 step meetings (at least 2/wk.)

6-10 ind. sessions minimum

6 months clean/sober (SA)Commitment to sobrietyAppropriateness for group

(see next slide)Trust your own inner self

as therapist!

The way you put your group together will determine ability of group to bond, grow, self realize, feel, confront and feel safe. You are the conductor and your group represents the individual instruments. How well will they harmonize?


Hints That a Client May Be Either Inappropriate for Group or Not Yet Ready to Do Group Work

• Demands constant attention• Has trouble with confidentiality• Untreated clinical mental health conditions • Unable to accept the differences of others • Profound personality disorder• Unstable mood• Inability to be honest• A sexual offender (unless it is a group of offenders) You are responsible for determining the makeup of

your group! **Alternate therapies may be called for such as EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, Individual Therapy, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Transformational Breathing, another type of group, etc.


1. Confidentiality – in order to maintain a sense of safety for people to open up, please keep the names of the members of the group and what is said inside group confidential. 2. Socializing outside of group is encouraged, but please do not discuss group issues outside of group (including the waiting room) as this would take away from the group process.3. The group fee is $60 per week. You may choose to fill out a charge authorization form so that your Visa or Mastercard may be debited each month. If you choose to pay with a check or cash, please have your payment ready at the beginning of the first group of the month.4. Please be respectful of each group member’s right to have a chance to speak and do not interrupt him or her. After someone has spoken, after getting the permission of the group member, the floor is open for comments or questions.

Group Guidelines


5. Please make every effort to be on time. If you are going to be over 15 minutes late, or if you must miss due to illness or an emergency, please call and leave a message with a brief explanation that may be shared with the group. You may leave a voice mail message at 713-781-7272.6. Please understand that you are responsible for your fee even if you have to miss group.7. Please bring your workbook to group each time you come. You are responsible for doing the homework assignment and for bringing it with you.8. Please refrain from making judgments, or giving

opinions or advice unless it is requested by the group member or elicited by the therapist.

I understand and agree to abide by the group guidelines:____________________________________________Date__________________


Differences Between Groups Males Suffering from Compulsive Sexual Behavior

Partners

Group 1: Facing the Shadow

Complete the first seven tasks of recovery through completion of book.

“Life Balance” Check ins

Group 1: Facing Complex PTSD (Trauma 101)

Write incidents and feelings. Write how your core values

were violated by behavior of addict and associated losses.

Write how YOU violated your own core values by your unhealthy response to the addict’s behavior and personal losses.

“Life Balance” Check ins

TrueSelf Transitions, 15

Life Balance Check In

PhysicalEmotionalSpiritualSobrietyAffirmation

* Assists in reintegrating the brain.


Use of Mindfulness to Enhance Therapeutic Relationship

From Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. in his book, The Mindful Therapist

•Presence•Attunement- how we focus our attention on others and take their essence into our own inner world.•Resonance- the coupling of two autonomous entities into a functional whole.

i.e. lovingkindness•Trust***And in order to be able to do this, the therapist has to do his/her own work. It is helpful also, if at all possible, to DO everything you ask your clients to do.


Roles of the Therapist/Healer in group

•protector•creator of safe space (sacred space)•observer• moderator• teacher• role model• presence• guide• conductor• timekeeper• encourager• learner


Group 2: Childhood Issues Recognizing and Resolving Trauma

The Hero’s Journey: The Return of the Goddess:Finding One’s True Self Finding One’s True Self1. Genogram2. Safe Place3. Having Feelings How did parent/caregivers

handle feelings? What “tribal rule” applied to feelings?

4. The elephant in the living roomArt Exercise: What did your parents portray to the world?/ What were things REALLY like?They said THIS, but they did THAT.

5. Sexual Development6. Boundaries7. What is Abuse?

8. Covert Abuse/Neglect9. Body Memories and the

ChakraSystem.

10.Spiritual Development11.School

achievements/successes12.Coping Strategies/ Roles in

the Family-Letter to the Coping Strategy.

13.Naming Our Wounded Children.

14.Journaling and Nurturing Inner ChildrenExercise: Communicate with inner child through writing with non-dominant hand.


Group 2: Childhood Issues (Continued)

15.Making and keeping a Gratitude List16.Breaking the Rules:

List all the tribal rules (spoken and unspoken) from your childhood and write the ones you will now break as a adult.

17.Laying the banner down and picking up your own. (Art therapy)18.Preparation for graduation.

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Confronting Your Childhood CaregiversWrite two letters—one to your mother and the other to your father. First, although you may have to think long and hard to find something, thank them for the things (though they may be few) they did for you. Then….carefully look over and then check the needs you had as a child that were not met. Using your list of unmet needs, tell each parent about the needs you had that did not get met. Use specific incidents and let yourself use ANY words you need to use to get it all out. •To be validated•Positive attention•To observe healthy boundaries•To question•Privacy•To know that I am precious•Guidance •To play and laugh•To know my limits•To be fully accepted •To be allowed to take care of my own needs•To get information about my sexuality at age appropriate levels•To know, accept, and express my feelings•To exercise•To be guided in having boundaries set and to be allowed to accept the consequences of crossing those boundaries.


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•To protect myself and to be protected•To have someone to talk to•To have role models of healthy intimate relationships •To practice spirituality •To give and receive loving non-sexual physical affection.•To be taught how to handle money •To be allowed to have an opinion•To be encouraged •To be a carefree child who is not held responsible for adult problems.•To be taught a moral code of behavior•To be taught about a Higher Power•To be allowed and encouraged to have friends •To be told the truth about what is going on around me in an age appropriate way.•Other_____________________________________________________After you are finished talking about your needs, finish this statement:“As a result of not getting these needs met, I ………………………………………………..”



Graduation Ritual1) Bring wrapped toy for someone else in the group.

2) Bring separate letters to mother and father.

3) Bring completed forms detailing what you want to leave behind and what you want to keep.

4) Burn feelings/behaviors you want to leave behind and read Proclamation.

5) Chair work: Read letters to parents.

6) Experiential work: Dancing into Consciousness. (Optional)

7) Exchange of gifts and celebrate Being.

8) Let the children come out and play.


ReferencesCarnes, Patrick. Facing the Shadow. Carefree, AZ: Gentle Path Press, 2005.

Levine, Peter A. In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books, 2010.

Siegel, Daniel J. The Mindful Therapist. New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Co., 2010

van der Kolk, Bessel A. The Body Keeps the Score: Memory and the Evolving Psychobiology of Post Traumatic Stress. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 1994, 1(5), pp. 253-265.

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