the great wen - 3

7/30/2019 The Great Wen - 3

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A d v e n t u r e r F u c k l e y M c d i v o t t e l l s e F F r A P e

c k - n e c k i n g e r A b o u t h i s d Ay A n d o t h e r s t u F F

akey wakey could be nytime ndbrekk ie nyth ing. As n dventurer one ssim il tes into ones g i ven environsnd d pts cont inu lly. Th t s id, if

Im t home I h ve k edg eree. Im usu-lly up t f i ve to jig cross Hyd e P rk

with Y oung D og Tr y f or bollock blueing d ip in th e Serpent ine. Th enits b ck f or b th, some b ng ers, th e f orement ioned k edg e nd big pot of

rosehip t six oclock pr ompt.T ime in London is either spent recu-

per ting from one expedition or pl n-ning th e next. As one might expect

from th e most tr velled m n in t own, m otion is in my bl ood betterth t th n blood in th e motion, s de r P w s e ver pr one to qu ip. F -ther w s C pt in of the North K ent St e m P ck et nd w ould some-times t k e me bo rd on tr ips. By th e time I w s ten Id b een s f rf eld s M rg te. I remember on vo y g es look ing out t isol ted tr d-ing posts nd m using th t when I gr ew older, Id st op t one to be t

p th b e yond its mists, w y into the interior.From th ose e rly d ys I n e ver look ed b ck, tr veling in e very d i-

rection outside the city. Fr om H tf ield in th e north t o Cro ydon in th e south. E st s f r s Bro dst irs, r ight thr ough to Ox en Ford nd e ven

t d be yond in th e wild nd w ick ed west.I w s consult nt t o the pl nning c ommitt ee of the much l uded

Ox en Ford H ighw y the newly constr ucted, 53 m ile ro d from Lon-don t o the west. Id tr veled th t w y, m ny y e rs e rlier, w ith th e

very f irst Ox en F ord settlers. Belie ve me, nd m y G usher ti be mywitness, it m y b e d ng erous now but th en it w s consider bly more so. On e of the m in r e sons th e ro d r uns s it does is down to trib lbound ries. Its sh pe dict ted by th e edg es of two tribes terr itories those of th e Atreb tes and th e C tu vell uni. As I sp e k m ny di lectsof both tr ibes l ng u g es I w s involved in n eg oti tions reg rd ing th e positioning of the route neg oti tions wh ich t ook o ver tw o ye rs of t ct, b rter, fr ustr tion, d ilig ence, d iplom cy nd hundr edweight of be ds. On e c n s y quite unequi voc lly howe ver, th t both p rties re not to be trusted especi lly the wily C tu vell uni.

Young D og Tr y h s been f ithf ul cohort on ll my expeditions.When in t own, on 2 oclocks dot well ccomp ny one nother onconstitution l to Holl nd P rk. Th ough f irm c omp nions, wh en w lk-ing we slip into our sep r te re veries Young D ogs of f t, l me f en-necs, m ine of f uture f inds. On e d y I dr e m of striking out (mists ndmi sm s perm itting) south-west be yond th e Ox en F ord nd d elving deep into Durotrig es terr itory, p erh ps t o f ind th e leg end ry W o d-ro d. T o unco ver th t long lost tr ck, le ding t o the port l of the oftdeliber ted upon T in R oute would be the icing on my m intc ke.

On e t k es te t thr ee lone. It c n be solit ry lif e both here nd onexpedition, wh ere e veryone from m n-on-point to t il-end Ch rlie willrely upon ones wile, g uile, pl ns nd pl in experience. T e nd p rk inon th e terr ce seems so f r from l if e in f orest, f en or pl in, wh ere f ourmissed m e ls c n m k e l me dog stew ent icing.

After th e Evening St nd rd cr ossword or noodle on th e iP d Illsometimes pootle into town f or d inn er t th e Venturers Club, wh ere one discusses the l test f inds, th eories, routes nd r umours with f ellow

w nderers o ver tot or tw o. I lik e to le ve t 11, s I kn ow Ill be home to YDT t 12. On e w lks of course. S ome s y th e citys un-s f e fter eight b ut Ill h ve none of it. No cutpurse c n eng ender th e f e r one f eels when cr eeping w y be yond Th e Ch ilterns, thr ough th e Durotrig es hilly l nds wh ere one senses scrutinising e yes in e very b itof undergrowth, wh ilst opp idum sign ls silently t o opp idum with e vil,unf thom ble curls of sm ok e.

Bef ore sleep t one, I pr y (noth ing el bor te, just th e C ity Pr yernd th e W ter Pr yer). I wr ite my di ry nd cl e n my t eeth with h w-

thorn trick le rned from the C tu vell uni. Th en I turn in thoughseldom t o sleep str ight w y d ue to thoughts of f orthoing j unts. Inth is c se its in M y, when I pl n t o f org e p ss g e directly south t o the Southern S e . A tr ip thr ough h e vywe lded, hostile l nd tow rds pl ce some c ll the Brightn ess. Wh t l iesund isco vered excites me now smuch s when I w s sh ver. Andthough Ill le ve my m rk on c r-togr ph ic h istory I w ould r ther b e remembered s n unf ettered spirit.On e who s w opportunity nd ex-citement in e very new horizon notm inly s th e m n wh o disco veredM idstone.

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t hreadS ?Lo ve clothes, h te f sh --th oughmy enduring d esigners h ve to be, Boss, Glut, H ess, Toss,B rm i, nd of course Arm ni.If someth ings well designedits timeless --I still we r sh irts Ibought o ver ye r g o.

o ilS ? Anyth ing by T urner -- th e big ships biscuit of Se sc pi n .

f ave word ? Lif e!

inSpiration ? W if e! ( very speci l p erson)

g uiding light ?My f m ily. N o m tter h ow im-port nt w ork seems, my w if e nd th e twins re e veryth ing.

Th e y c n r e lly ground y ou --tre ting you f or who you re, notwh t you re. I n e ver sk imp onth t pr ecious time we ll h ve tog ether. Its v ery import ntf or m e to g et it r ight th ird t ime round.

f ave h ol d eSt ?Summ ers in H ighg te. W inter,we sk i t Eps om or Box H ill

f ave all - time entertainer ?Lo ve ll the predom in ters;Gerv is, Forsyth, K ye, M iles,Gr een. B ut th e big d ddy h sto be Fe rnl e y-Wh ittingst ll --

just one big, eff ortless, m de f orTV, m ultit lenter --n ot to men-tion th ose cheeky g ood looks!( nd ctu lly couple of inchest ller th n you th ink h ed be,when y ou g et t o know h im inre l lif e.)

but luck ily I m de f ew k e ydecisions in my l if e th t took me somewhere I w nted to be.

h Ill ?Any h ill will do - but I only w lk up!

m uSic ?Anyth ing imp ctf ul - C old-pl y, U2, R diohe d. L o ve th tCr nb err ies one where she sings lik e donk e y - th e yre l-w ys pl ying it on Abs olute.

m ayor f or a d ay ... Id rch itect me ningf ul ndf in nc i lly snug environm entf or ll the t lented, young f ilm-m k ers we h ve in th is m zing city of ours -- someth ing th treson tes with re l sust in-bility. Id lso h ng ll tr ff ic

w rdens.

S tarbuckS or S laughterS ? St rbucks rocks.

n ext b ig t hing ? Diff to cryst l-b ll which w yth ings re trend ing. Th t s id,once the glitches re ironed,Virtu l De th TM will g o well

vir l.

f irSt l ondon m em ? Simply R ed t Tr e m e nd a scr ee ch with my f olks. Eight y e rs old.Blew me w y.

b uSy ?Im lw ys b usy -- but n ot in nine to f i ve w y. Ive g ot n ewide s buzzing r ound my h e d24/7. Th e y c n come t nytime --in th e b th, on th e loo, inthe m iddle of the night. Th tswhy I m k e sure Ive lw ys g otn intern round t o jot th em

down.

f ave tv perSonality ? R ms y, J m ie, Beeny, Mc-Cloudy -- ll gre ts, ll m stersof th e th ing g oing wr ong in th e m iddle nd th en g oing r ightg in t th e end.

f ave f Ilm ?Anyth ing w ith Br ig itte B rdot --bsolute leg end.

b ook ?Th e C tcher In Th e Rye --Ive ctu lly re d it 500 t imes. Th t

g u y! Th t g u y H olden is so me

N i N N i a N

Ninnian is Chief Visionary at hugely successful oduction com ny paTrONIzE -

specialists in making programmes where a chef/house enov to o ens/does u new est u nt/w eck,

things go wrong halfway through, and then come good in the end

. 0524

p apped outSide Ch iswicks H igh Ro d H ouse, where hed had one too m ny sh erberts, worse-f or-we r H ogie lurches tow rds ourlensm n wh ilst off ering t o perf orm n impr ompt u ( nd w e th ink procedur lly impossible ) oper tion w ith th e r ther w rp ed br ushperched in h is r ight h nd. Sp urn ing our eff orts t o f ind h im c b,we e ventu lly point h im in th e right d irection h ome. As I b id h imdieu nd w rn h im t o be w ry of f ootp ds in th e und erp ss, he

sudd enly exhibits n g it ted c oncern t ow rds h is gre t r i v l, th e polym th nd c o- rch itect of Ch iswick H ouse, Sir W ill I Am K ent , st gg ering off d own D e vonsh ire Ro d c lling out th tp rt icul r g entlem ns surn me shrilly into the n ight. tiS true . Green e yed temptr essFi-L y is set to star in

Re ynolds Pictures rem k e o the Mich el W innerrem k e of Wick ed L dy, longside Vic Venus,Ty B urn, T eddy W terc rrier nd Lone Roc.Runn ing title Im told is Wh i p, T i t n G i bb e t.

BEgUIlINg BEaUTY Bunny B unsen h ow thou dothbewitch. H ow th ose e yes entr nce, th t g eneroussmile enthr lls. Th t m nn er d oes so mesmerise nd th ose ttitudes tr nsf ix. Im s o c ptured o hyp-

notic, hexy siren of th e night!wwAnyone wishing t o sh re my ench ntm ent w ill

f ind B unny e very e vening except S und y c sting her spell downst irs t Cr owle ys, Frith Str eet.

f a n t a S t i c four piece , Gi v e Th is wired to tell me of th e shock st rtto their M rg te Ste mP ck et residency yester-d y. M ess g e re d: BADSTART TO TOUR STOp GRA-HAMY FELL OVERBOARD

STOp DROWNED STOp NOWTHREE PIECE STOp RE-AR-RANGING HARMONIES STOp SHOWMUSTGOON STOp Wh t bsolute top hole storm ing tr oopers!

b um p into H y p n o t i-c us in B e k Str ee t. G o to his sh ow. G o to his show.G o to hisshow. G o to his sh ow. G o to his show.G o to hisshow. G o to his sh ow. G oto his show.G o


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the great wen - 3

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