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Accardi-by-the-Sea is a small village in theWestlands by the coast of the Great Sea, nearBorphee Harbor. Accardi's most famous geographicfeature is the nearby Razor Gorge, a deadly chasmcarved by a branch of the Borphee River. Becausemost enchanters prefer the quiet of a town such asAccardi over the hustle and bustle of a larger city,Accardi has become a center of the magic industry.The Accardi Guild of Enchanters is one of the mostinfluential in the entire land, and has given rise tosuch famous magic-users as the Wizard of Frobozzand Belboz.

Mumboz Agrippa was, at one point, a foreman forthe Frobozz Magic Cave Company. Heavilyinvolved with the hollowing of an ancient volcano inthe Eastlands, his job was related to the safety factorsinvolved in constructing caverns over very weak rockstrata. He also authored the book Construction of theEmpire.

Queen Alexis was, according to the Legend ofWishbringer, the wife of Anatinus, and Queen ofMisty Island in ancient days. The legend tells thatQueen Alexis' daughter, cursed by fate and prophecy,was born blind. To ease her heavy heart, Alexiskidnapped the peasant girl Morning-Star, and raisedher as the Princess. When Morning-Star came of age,Alexis' awful envy caused her make six tough Love-Quests to the knights seeking to marry Morning-Star,and eventually to decree that her daughter "mustremain unmarried and virgin all her days." This Edictcaused Morning-Star's heart to harden into the magicstone Wishbringer.

Amathrodonis was a terrible giant who terrorizedAccardi-By-The-Sea for many centuries. He wasfinally vanquished by Belboz the Necromancer in952 GUE, when the enchanter used showypyrotechnical magic to destroy the giant.

The Amulet of Aggthora was a legendary jewelrenowned for its powers of augury. In the year 957the Amulet was in the possession of Belboz, and isknown to have glowed when near his location. Thisproperty of the Amulet was crucial in the defeat ofJeearr.

King Anatinus: According to the legend ofWishbringer, the platypus Anatinus was once theKing of Misty Island, and husband to Queen Alexis.Anatinus is best-noted for his decree that anyoneclaiming the hand of his daughter must fulfill a Love-

Quest of Alexis' choosing. This decreed led to thedeath of six young knights.

It is also known that a King Anatinus, presumably adescendant of the original King, reigned on the islandduring the time of The Evil One. Princess Tasmania,the king's daughter, was twice rescued from dangersby a human postal worker. The most important eventof the reign of this Anatinus was his generous awardto the postal worker who saved his daughter. Bybestowing the human with a wizard's hat, Anatinushelped him to bring about the downfall of The EvilOne in the nearby village of Festeron.

Antharia, the Island Province, is 959 square bloits ofbeautiful land right in the middle of the Great Sea.The weather in Antharia is picture-perfect, except foran occasional hurricane in late summer. Tourists toAntharia bring in a remarkable business. No trip iscomplete without a visit to the shipbuilding factoriesof South Anthar, the marble mines in the PeltoidValley, the port of Marba, and the Bella Quease.Mid-spring in Antharia brings the Marble Pageant,followed in the summer by shark-wrestling in theFlathead Stadium.

Antharia became a part of the Great UndergroundEmpire in 665, when the forces of Duncanthraxvanquished the Antharian Armada at the famousbattle of Fort Griffspotter. Up to that time the island-nation of Antharia was the world's premier seapower, and this victory gave Duncanthrax undisputedcontrol of the Great Sea, and put the superb ship-building facilities of Antharia at his disposal. Theconquest of Antharia also gave the kingdom access toAntharia's famed granola mines. Unfortunately, noone in Quendor liked granola.

For many years now Antharia has been ruled by acouncil of four "Elders" - one from the ShipbuildingGuild, one from the Granola Miners Guild, one fromthe Marble Cutters Guild, and one from a popularwaterfront pub called "Emu's". Spenseweed is theofficial flower of Antharia, and the island's motto is"Hieya wizka," which translates to "Hello sailor."The capital of Antharia is Anthar.

Antharia University, Ralph Waldo Flathead's almamater, is known for an academic programspecializing in obscure degrees such as Doctor ofIdyllic Poetry, Doctor of Excellent Elegies, andDoctor of Octameter Odes. This University ispossibly one of the elite Moss-League colleges, butour research team is not yet positive about this.

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Antharian Cave Witches live in dark holes high inthe mountains of Antharia. These witches, usuallyvery antisocial, can sometimes be summoned bycoughing.

The Aragain Brothers Circus employs a trainer ofreal, live grues. Obviously, this Circus is a bigpurchaser of Grue Protection Kits from the FrobozzMagic Grue Accessories Company.

The Aragain Falls is the most breathtaking andawesome waterfall in the known lands. It lies at theend of the Frigid River, where it flows from itsunderground source near Flood Control Damn #3.The Falls were a favorite honeymoon spot during the8th and 9th centuries, often called the HoneymoonCapital of the GUE. The Falls are quite dangerousand, despite a warning buoy, many adventurers raftoff the falls to their deaths.

Aragain Village: Please see the entry on Flatheadia.

Ardis was a member of the Guild of Poets in 966. Hegave a speech to the Final Conclave of enchantersabout the failure of magical rhyming and spellingaids.

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Saint Balhu, the patron saint of circus performers,has a holiday in his honor on 11 Arch of each year.

Barbel of Gurth, son of Delbor, was an arbiter anddiplomat from the tenth century. His greatest skillswere arbitrating and speaking in tongues, but he alsoinvented the GOLMAC spell. He held two positionsof authority: President of the Gurth ArbitersCongress, and Guildmaster of the Gurth City chapterof the Enchanters' Guild, a position he attained in933. With his authority, he was able to restore highenchantment dues.

Barbel was a noted critic of his fellow Enchanters.He is most remembered for proclaiming that, "WhenI was a boy, I was told that any Enchanter couldbecome a Guildmaster. Now I'm beginning to believeit." Barbel was also quoted in the 957 issue ofPopular Enchanting as stating that, "There's too muchshowing-off, too much one-upmanship between thechapters, and no cooperation." This comment cameafter the 115th Convention of Enchanters andSorcerers of the same year.

Incidentally, Barbel of Gurth's Double Fanuccihandicap is 42.

Barsap: Appointed Royal Magician in 875 GUE byIdwit Oogle Flathead, Barsap, whose greatest skillsare juggling and creative accounting, first performedbefore royalty in 850 GUE. The last book he readwas "Magic with Mirrors." His favorite saying is,"The hardest trick is making it look easy," and hisDouble Fanucci handicap is 19. Barsap's Guildmembership was revoked for dues evasion in 960, alittle before he reached his untimely end.

His fate is a matter of some controversy. Somesources hold that he was turned into a newt in 972,but as it is commonly believed that the Age of Magicended in 966, this seems a bit unlikely. The truth willprobably never be known.

Boswell Barwell, the official biographer of theFlatheads, is the author of such notable works asMumberthrax: The Man Behind the Legend, and TheLives of the Twelve Flatheads, which was publishedin 804 GUE by the Frobozz Magic BiographyPublishing Company. Excerpts from Barwell'sfamous book were published in the Flathead Calendarof 883 GUE.

Giant bat: This large monster is quite a nuisance toadventurers. Found in several caverns in theEastlands, these giant bats seem to amuse themselveschiefly by grabbing a person, flying away, anddepositing them elsewhere, thoroughly lost.

Nanny Beeble was the governess to the TwelveFlatheads when they were children. Her vividmemories of the experience include the fact thatmany of the children had teams of slaves exclusivelyto move their larger building blocks.

Belboz, born in 757 GUE during the reign ofMumberthrax Flathead, was the eldest of six brothersall left orphaned near the Aragain Falls. The guardianuncle of the siblings, a cave digger by trade, tried toget young Belboz interested in construction work, butthe child talked and read only about magic.Eventually the uncle relented and sent Belboz toBorphee Harbor, where he was tutored by a mastermagician for 20 years. According to Belboz himself,his magical training was little understood by hisfamily. In an interview on his 200th birthday, Belbozstated, "My uncle thought thaumaturgy was acommunicable fish disease, and fancied I sat on adock for 20 years telling carp to open wide and say'ah'."

Belboz's initial training was followed by a 30-yearapprenticeship in the Accardi Chapter of the Guild of

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Enchanters, after which he became a full-fledgedEnchanter in 820 GUE. He decided to spend his timetraveling south to Gurth and Mithicus, where hepioneered research on anti-caking additives to magicpotions. His success in perfecting dozens of spells,notably the LOBAL spell ("sharpen hearing") and theCONBAK spell ("build strong bodies 12 differentways") brought him interprovincial fame, andheralded his advancement to Sorcerer after a mere 25years.

Unlike his peers, Belboz criticized the decadence ofthe royal family and foretold the collapse of the GreatUnderground Empire. Most fellow Sorcerers thoughtBelboz's warnings were shrill or foolish, but when theEmpire did collapse in 883, Belboz said "I told youso." Belboz then returned to Accardi where, in 910, atthe age of 153, he became Guildmaster of theAccardi Chapter. Perhaps his greatest success -certainly his most publicized - came in 952, when hedestroyed the evil giant Amathrodonis. Later thatyear he became the kingdomwide Secretary of theGuild of Enchanters, a post which he held for twoterms.

With a life expectancy of 175 years, almost threetimes that of a layperson, most Sorcerers retire fromthe Guild and become Magicians Emeritus orConjuration Consultants long before they becomebicentenarians. At the age of 200, Belboz was theoldest member of the Circle of Enchanters, and wasthe oldest guildmaster ever. During that time-periodspeculation ran rampant as to whether the masterSorcerer had any plans to retire. During his 200thbirthday interview, he told reporters to "Ask meabout my retirement again when I turn 300."

Unfortunately for Belboz fans, that opportunitywould never present itself. In 957 the famed Jeearrincident led Belboz to completely rethink his futurecareer in magic. He became involved in a series ofdangerous exploratory experiments to look intodangers posed by the existence of Jeearr.Undertaking these experiments alone to shield theCircle of Enchanters from the perils involved, Belbozeventually succumbed to the powers of Jeearr, andwas kidnapped by Jeearr as part of his plan to gainworld domination. Luckily for Belboz, the sameEnchanter who defeated Krill was able to findJeearr's lair, destroy the evil demon, and save the lifeof Belboz. After this incident, Belboz decided that histime in the spotlight had come to an end, and heretired to the peace and quiet of an Enchanters'Retreat in the Flathead Mountains. He was not heardfrom again until 966, when he played a minor role inthe events leading up to the end of the Age of Magic.

Bella Quease is a very famous glass-bottom boat,perhaps the only one in all of Quendor, that isstationed in Antharia. It frequently takes tourists on atrip around the island, and sometimes to the Eastlandsor Westlands. According to many, no trip to Anthariais complete without such a cruise on the BellaQuease, or at least the purchase of souvenirs fromsaid cruise.

Belwit the Flat, the second king of the FlatheadDynasty, ruled the kingdom from Egreth Castleduring the years 688 - 701 GUE. Belwit's reign isnoted mainly for the minting of the first zorkmid,bearing his likeness, in 699 GUE.

Berknip was a necromancer of the seventh, eighth,ninth, and tenth centuries who led a life designed toconfound all attempts at explanation. Born in 662, hislife paused temporarily in 750, only to be resumedagain in 841. He was survived in 750 GUE by sevenchildren and 39 grandchildren, but he has since out-relived them all. Berknip is an odd man, inexplicablyafraid of swords and powdered milk. His greatestskill is assisting historical biographers, and hishobbies include making and collecting antiques.Being a vegetarian, he is noted for his adaptation ofthe NITFOL spell for raw oysters and crispy wholefish. This man's Double Fanucci handicap isunmeasurable, due to his odd life, and his favoritesaying is "No one weeps for a necromancer."

Berzio: In 769 GUE he was an obscure, little-knownthaumaturge who had lived for years in his own self-made workshop, often going for days without food,drink, or sleep, but in that year he made a discoverythat would change the world. He created the meansby which magical Presence could be transferred froma scroll to a special impregnated paper by use of asimple spell, which he named after his dog, Gnusto.Berzio quickly gained a reputation as a greatthaumaturge, and was honored by being the source ofthe name of the first magic potion, the BERZIOpotion.

Bizboz was a 5th century GUE student of the mysticarts who thoroughly examined ancient writings onsuch mystic subjects as Thaumaturgy. He wrote whatbecame the seminal work in Thaumaturgy, "On thePresence of Incredibly Weird Stuff Going On," in473 GUE, in which he claimed to have discovered"for-the-most-part Natural Rules" by which this"Weird Stuff" is ordered. This work was ridiculed bythe leading scholars of the time, leading to Bizboz'sremoval from the faculty at Galepath University, and,

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eventually, to his tragic suicide in 475 GUE.However, his work encouraged others in the pursuitof magical knowledge.

Zorbius Blattus, greatest of the modern philo-sophers, was a popular debunker of Brogmoidism,and other strange religious sects. For instance, he isfond of asking, "If a giant Brogmoid were holding upthe world, where would he stand?"

The bloit is the Empire's most common unit formeasuring distances. The bloit is defined as thedistance the king's favorite pet runs in an hour. As thediscerning reader can tell from this definition, thelength of the bloit changes dramatically from ruler toruler. (Rarely more dramatically than in 619 GUE,when Bozbo IV -- who adored his windcat -- died,and was succeeded by Mumbo II -- who was equallyenamored of his very, very ancient turtle.)

Land is usually measured in square bloits. It ispossible to convert bloits to miles, using themeasurements of Fublio Valley by Boswell Barwelland Froboz Mumbar. According to this conversionone bloit is approximately 3,529 feet, or two-thirds ofa mile. However it is important to note that this bloit-length may not correspond with other bloit-lengthsgiven in this book.

Bloodhound: Lord Dimwit Flathead kept a kennelfull of royal bloodhounds of immense size. It is quiteprobable that the bloodhound was the basis of LordDimwit's measurement of the bloit.

Bloodworms live in shallow underground pools ofwater and are often mistaken for mossy boulders.Their pointy, retractable fangs can extend up to 32inches during an attack. They are repelled by thesmell of boiled chives; always carry some ifventuring near known bloodworm spawning ground.One such spawning ground is the Miznia Jungle,where the local variety of bloodworm have pairs offangs that measure in at an astounding three feet.

Winifred Booblort ran the Flatheadia CastlePreservation Society in 883 GUE.

The Boot Patrol was the police organization em-ployed by The Evil One in Witchville. Headed bySergeant MacGuffin, the Boot Patrol was literally agroup of very large, living boots that arrested curfewviolators.

The Bor River joins with the Phee River to form theBorphee River in the Westlands. At the confluence of

the Phee and the Bor lies the ruins of the ancient city-state of Pheebor.

Borphbelly stew is a popular lunchtime meal in theprovince of Fenshire. Made from fox, fowl, andearthworm, proper preparation mandates thesimultaneous addition of the ingredients to a boilingcookpot.

Borphee, a large industrial city in the Westlands, isthe capital of the Greater Borphee Province. A totalof 1,107,810 people live in this huge province, andthe city of Borphee itself is the largest in all ofFrobozz. In fact, Borphee Harbor is the busiest porton the Flathead Ocean. This is only one of the severalgeographic features that help make Borphee thesingle most accessible vacation spot in the world.From anywhere in the Borphee River valley, travelby ferry is easy and inexpensive. By land, the CoastRoad connects Borphee with the ancient cities to thenorth as well as the populous southlands.

Thanks to the nearby ocean, Borphee has a verymoderate climate. The rainy season lasts most of thewinter, and summers tend to be humid. During thefirst week in autumn, Borphee is the site of theDouble Fanucci Championships, an annual eventsince 691 GUE. In late spring, G.U.E. Tech holdstheir annual Spelling Bee, which is free and open tothe public. Every winter, the hills of Borphee comealive with the sounds of the most dreadful singers inthe land. This event, aptly named The From Bad toWorst Songfest, happens to coincide to the time ofyear when most hillside residents schedule tripsabroad. On the official first day of summer,thousands gather at the Borphee Harbor for theG.U.E. Festival of Small Ships.

Greater Borphee, nicknamed the Industrial Province,encompasses 754 square bloits. Government in thisregion is quite a baffling system. The city of Borpheeitself is run by an elected mayor, while the provinceis administered by a staff of part-time volunteermanagers, whose decisions are ratified at least threetimes a year, but not more than every other week, bya series of local forums. Those who purport to knowsay that these forums have resulted in GreaterBorphee County Penal Codes, the recitation of whichcould bore a listener to death.

Those who are not busy volunteering for the localgovernment are probably involved in one ofBorphee's fine educational institutions. BorpheeBusiness School and G.U.E. Tech both have excel-lent reputations. In fact, many G.U.E. Tech graduateshave gone on to start their own magic companies,

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thus contributing to Borphee's standing as the centerof the spell scroll, potion, and infotater industries. Inthe 9th century GUE, Spellbound and UnitedThaumaturgy both had extensive facilities inBorphee, and by 947 GUE FrobozzCo Internationalhad relocated its massive headquarters to Borphee aswell. The prominence of the magic industry inBorphee is undoubtedly related to the fact that thecity is home to the Great Meeting Hall of theEnchanters' Guild, the site of the Final Conclave in966 GUE.

The recorded history of Borphee goes back toapproximately 400 years before the time ofEntharion, when Borphee, along with Pheebor, wasone of the great city-states that lay near the BorpheeRiver. Borphee defeated Pheebor in a massive battlethat was caused by a feud over the naming of what isnow called the Borphee River.

Recorders of meaningless historical facts might beinterested in the following:• A Borphee baker makes Frobolli Cakes by

flinging bits of dough into a hot oven.• The flower of Borphee is the compass rose.• The Borphee motto ("Borphee - fixum rixa poo

nastik.") translates to "Borphee - better than youthink."

Borphee Business School is known as the almamater of the most successful businessman of all time,John D. Flathead.

Borphee Metropolitan Opera and BalletCompanies: These are the most prestigiousorganizations of their kind in the world.

The Borphee River, formed by the joining of therivers Phee and Bor, flows from near the ruins ofPheebor to the Great Sea near Borphee Harbor.Travel by ferry from anywhere in the Borphee RiverValley is easy and inexpensive, helping to makeBorphee probably the single most accessible vacationspot in the Empire.

Over a thousand years ago the Borphee River wascalled the One River, until the outcome of a warbetween Borphee and Pheebor helped to give us thepresent name.

Saint Bovus, the patron saint of those who designfine slate patios, has a holiday in his honor on 6Augur of each year. Due to a slight mix-upconcerning the etymological origin of the name"Bovus," the 883 edition of the Flathead Calendarwas responsible for giving the impression that Bovus

was the patron saint of those who raise meat animals,a role that actually belongs to Saint Wiskus.

Bozbarbo Village is an underground settlement inthe Westlands, near Egreth and Bozbarland, by thewestern branch of the Second Great UndergroundHighway.

Bozbo I was the fifth king of the Entharion Dynasty.He came to the throne in 423 GUE, after Zilbo I, andwas succeeded by Zilbo II in 429 GUE.

Bozbo II was the eighth king of the EntharionDynasty. He came to the throne in 477 GUE, afterHarmonious Fzort, and was succeeded by ThaddiumFzort in 481 GUE.

Bozbo III was the eleventh king of the EntharionDynasty. He came to the throne in 569 GUE, afterMumbo I, and was succeeded by Bozbo IV in 575GUE.

Bozbo IV was the twelfth king of the EntharionDynasty. He came to the throne in 575, after BozboIII, and was succeeded by Mumbo II in 619. Thechange in rulers made for a profound readjustementof the bloit system of measurement, when Mumbo IIchose a turtle as the standard of measurement, ratherthan a windcat, Bozbo IV's animal of choice.

Brogmoids: In rare cases, these squat creatures canachieve the intelligence level of a three-year-oldhuman. Domesticated brogmoids are tame and caneven be taught to perform simple tasks. In the wild,they can be seen in huge packs sorting through rockpiles looking for edible rocks. From this fact it is notdifficult to see why brogmoids live considerablylonger in captivity.

The tenets of Brogmoidism, a religion originating inthe fourth century GUE, state that a Great Brogmoidsupports the world upon his shoulders, and that thisGreat Brogmoid keeps us from falling into the GreatVoid. Nowadays this belief is commonly ridiculed,and has lost most of its adherents, but nevertheless itis quite true. In 883 GUE the first Dungeon Masterexplored the depths of the Eastland's caverns andactually came out on the bottom of the earth to gazeupon a brogmoid that was tremendous beyonddescription. A rough estimate puts this GreatBrogmoid at a zillion times larger than any brogmoidever seen before. Its mere shoulder hairs were likemighty trees.

On the same day as this remarkable discovery, CurseDay 883, the first Dungeon Master also hiked to the

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top of Mount Foobia and discovered the foot ofanother Great Brogmoid. Apparently, not only does abrogmoid hold up the world, but upon the world isstanding another brogmoid, which can only bepresumed to support yet another world.

Chroniclers of history have always been puzzled bythe fact that the Brogmoid Hypothesis hastraditionally been given less credit than the so-calledTurtle Theory, and the Troll Postulate, both of whichwere the subject of some research by LeonardoFlathead.

Burfle is a game of chance played mainly in theBozbarland Casino.

Marcus Bzart-Foodle, a very rich nobleman fromGurth, was the first husband of Lucrezia Flathead.Bzart-Foodle died at a ripe old age after Lucreziaover-excited his weak heart.

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A Camel is a desert animal.

The Caves of Vision are the source of crystal oflegendary quality. Crystal from the Caves of Visionis used by the Frobozz Magic Equipment Companyto make crystal balls, or magic monitors.

Cerberus was the three-headed dog guarding thegates of Hades, but in recent years he has beenemployed as the guardian of the tomb of the TwelveFlatheads.

Chaos is the cat of the owner of Festeron's Ye OldeMagick Shoppe. This cat, all black save a white spoton its forehead, was kidnapped by The Evil One as apart of her plan to control Wishbringer, the Stone ofDreams. To do this, The Evil One turned Chaos intoa stone sculpture, and the only way to bring the catback to life was to insert Wishbringer into thesculpture's forehead. A heroic Festeron postalemployee accomplished this task, managed to resistThe Evil One, and returned Chaos to its rightfulowner.

Chess is an ancient game of warfare, played on acheckered field of 64 squares. The noted architectZylo Pickthorn used the chessboard as the basis forhis Rockville Estates construction plan. It is alsoknown that Lord Dimwit Flathead had a magical life-size chess set that could be accessed by donning amagic robe.

Chocolate Truffles grow only between the roots ofoak trees. Dark brown when fresh, they decomposerapidly once exposed to air. Truffles were a favoriteof the kings of the Flathead Dynasty, particularlyLord Dimwit Flathead the Excessive, who orderedthe excavation of entire forests to indulge hisbottomless appetite. Chocolate truffles have beenfound mainly in the Westlands, in forests near GurthCity and Thriff.

Christmas Tree Monster: Vast herds of theseluminous vegetables roam freely amid the glacialvalleys of the south. Residents fear the autumnmigrations, in which the trees cheerfully trampleeverything in their path. Christmas tree monsters arerepelled by caterpillars, but nobody can explain why.The most recent sighting of these creatures was in966 GUE, when a horde of 69,105 of the creaturesdescended on Thriff village. For a few days thevillage was protected by magic glyphs designed bythe enchanter Orkan, but then a nearby volcaniceruption caused the entire horde to burn to death.

Coast Road: There are actually two such roads in theGreat Underground Empire. The first one, inAntharia, is a very famous and well-traveledthoroughfare, just north of Anthar. It leads into thecapital and passes by famous Flathead Stadium onthe western coast of Antharia. The Coast Road in theWestlands connects Borphee with the ancient cities tothe north as well as Gurth and Mithicus to the south.

The Coconut of Quendor: For many yearshistorians, though reluctant to dismiss the Coconutoutright, regarded its historical existence as dubiousat best. Orkan of Thriff has suggested that if all the"Shards of The One True Coconut" and "Vials of TheBlessed Milk" were gathered in one place, theywould form a stack nine bloits high. Orkan andGustar Woomax, the leading chronicler of Coconutlore, was one of the privileged few who were on handin 966 GUE when the existence of the Coconut wasactually verified. For years the Coconut had been inthe possession of a group of Implementors on theEthereal Plane of Atrii. In 966 an ur-grue, whosemotives are not entirely understood, stole theCoconut and secreted it deep under the MithicusMountains. An obscure peasant was able to recoverthe Coconut, which was then used to store the sum ofall human knowledge from the Age of Magic. It isbelieved that the shell of the Coconut is imperviousto the passage of time, and thus the knowledge ofMagic will survive the Age of Science, and berediscovered by generations in the distant future.

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Compass Rose: The stem of this rare annual alwaysdroops in the direction of the prevailing wind. It is aproven fact that the compass rose can indeed controlthe wind. This is hotly denied by the Guild ofMeteorologists, who harvested the species to thebrink of extinction in the Rose Riots of 811 GUE.The only known surviving bush of the species issomewhere in the Fields of Frotzen. This species ofrose is often confused with another type of compassrose, a stone or metallic carving depicting all of thecardinal directions like a compass. These "roses"often have magical properties, and are usually foundin remote underground caverns.

Giant Corbies are carrion birds with sharp eye-sightand sharper beaks. Their color vision is so welldeveloped, they can spot a yellow grotch in ahayfield from 200 bloits away. Corbies prefer thetaste of dead, rotting flesh, but have been known tofeast on live, running adventurers. However, it is nowknown that corbies are intensely afraid of certaincolors. Anybody garbed in the appropriate color willbe safe from the threat that is present in places suchas the Fields of Frotzen, where packs of corbies arealways seen circling low in the skies.

"Corky" Crisp was once the chief of the FesteronPostal Service. Crisp was an ugly man with a harshtemper. When Festeron was transformed intoWitchville by The Evil One, Crisp was put to worktorturing The Evil One's prisoners. It is known that"Corky" was romantically involved with Violet Voss,the town librarian.

Cruel Puppet: Few creatures are more despised thanthe cruel puppet. It attacks by twisting itself intounflattering caricatures of its opponents,accompanied by jeers, rude noises and shockingaccusations. Staunch monarchs have been reduced totears by these merciless shapeshifters. Residents ofGurth City have been warned away from the forest tothe north, a known home to cruel puppets.

Cubes of Foundation: When the foundations of theworld were laid down, the elemental powers andforces were symbolized during the making by small,white cubes. The cubes and the forces were mergedin a way that our knowledge no longer comprehends.When the making was done, the cubes were hiddenaway so that their powers could not be tamperedwith.

Unfortunately, in the year 966, the evil "shadow" ofthe Head of the Circle of Enchanters gained access toseveral of these cubes. Almost immediately he wasable to affect great changes in the workings of magic.

In order to seize control of the universe, he was ableto trick the Head of the Circle to unknowingly gatherthese cubes from all corners of the known world, andbeyond. This shadow-being then attempted to meldall of the cubes into one, in order to give him powerover the forces of the universe. The Head of theCircle was able to prevent this from taking place, buthe was unable to prevent the alteration of the cubes insuch a way that destroyed the fabric of magic.

It is hoped that no future generations will choose togain control over the Cubes of Foundation. The firstsuch attempt, described already, brought an end tothe entire Age of Magic. The next attempt might leadto the destruction of the entire universe as we knowit.

Curse Day is the anniversary of the death of LordDimwit Flathead the Excessive on the 14th ofMumberbur. On that date in 779 GUE the greatwizard Megaboz cast a mighty Curse. This Cursekilled the Twelve Flatheads and eventually, in 883GUE, brought about the collapse of the Empire andthe destruction of Flatheadia. The Curse Day of 883GUE marks the last day of the reign of WurbFlathead, and the beginning of the influence of thefirst Dungeon Master.

A Cyclops is a one-eyed giant. Although fairly rarein the Great Underground Empire, they presentedquite a problem when encountered. The averagecyclops would quite willingly devour an averagehuman, and love every bit of it. So much of anuisance were cyclops, that quite often one could findadvertisements in Popular Enchanting posted bypeople looking for enchanters for cyclops eradicationwork. Throughout the years only two methods ofavoiding a cyclops have proven effective. One couldeither feed it something other than oneself, or trick itinto believing that you are Odysseus, its race'sancient nemesis. One of the few cyclops specimensfound in the wild was one that had taken residence inthe Great Underground Empire in the Eastlands afterthe fall of the Empire.

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Davmar was the great Thaumaturge who discoveredthat the power of magic spells could be stored onpaper. This breakthrough, storing Incantation onspecil Presence-imbued paper, eventually led to thewidespread use of magic. Davmar, working in theearly years of the reign of King MumberthraxFlathead, was also known for spending six years ofhis life as a zucchini farmer, despite the fact that he

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was allergic to zucchinis, and could not eat themhimself!

Delbor was advisor to Lord Dimwit Flathead, andfather of Barbel of Gurth.

A Demon is an evil spirit of great power. The Wizardof Frobozz had imprisoned a demon inside a magicsphere, but the second Dungeon Master made itpossible for the demon to escape and kill the Wizardof Frobozz. An obscure historical legend tells thatKing Duncanthrax was a demon who assumed humanform, although little credence is given to this notion.One of history's most famous demons is the evilbeing Jeearr, who came close to gaining control overthe entire world in 957 GUE.

The Diablo Massacre occurred at the Zorbel Pass in666 GUE when the invading armies of KingDuncanthrax met a native militia of trollish warriors.The invaders were outnumbered but well-armed; thenatives were equipped only with wooden clubs and alarge piece of very strong garlic. Military historiansconsider the routing of the native militia as a keymoment in the conquering of the Eastlands.

Dimithio of Borphee, known as The CheerfulSorceror, was the founder of the Borphee Enchanters'Guild. A student of Yooman, the Musician Mage,Dimithio was tremendously well-read and good-natured, despised only by Holnac the Cynic. Dimithiowas also a great animal lover, and he adapted theNITFOL spell for egg-laying mammals. His greatestskill was fireworks displays, and he was often quotedas saying, "Magic doesn't have to be great to beuseful, nor does magic have to be useful to be great."His Double Fanucci handicap was 127.

Dinbar was a 5th century GUE student of the mysticarts who thoroughly examined ancient writings onsuch mystic subjects as Thaumaturgy.

Lake Dinge is a frozen lake in the Gray Mountains.Those who purport to know say that skating on theslanted frozen surface of Lake Dinge is anexhilarating experience.

Discipline Crabs are small, moral crustaceans foundin cellars, fallout shelters, and other subterraneanlairs. These brooding curmudgeons are deeplyoffended by the slightest intrusion; if cornered, theyemploy their razor-edged pincers with righteousefficiency. Discipline crabs live in nests made ofrandom bits of ocean debris, and are fond of jewelrysuch as gold crowns. These creatures need to stick

close to the water, and the only known discipline crablair is in Grubbo-by-the-Sea.

Dornbeast: Smart adventurers run the other waywhen they hear "Hurumph," the battle cry of thedeadly dornbeast. This monster should be avoided atall costs - its 69 sensitive eyes can paralyze anunwary explorer with a single glare. (Range: aboutthree feet for young beastling to about 20 feet forfull-grown dorns.) Captured victims quickly losetheir strength and are plastered with round, stickysecretions that never come off. Dorns usually live incrags and shadows near cliff bases. Known dorn lairsinclude the cliffs near Egreth, and a lighthouse nearGrubbo-by-the-Sea.

Harv Dornfrob wrote the famous novel The SeventyYear Snidgel.

Double Fanucci: For a partial description of thisfamous card game, see Appendix C.

A Dragon is a monster, a large, winged reptile thatbreathes out fire and smoke. Apparently fairlycommon in the old days, the species encountered alittle problem in the form of Dimwit Flathead, whotook it into his head to hold a feast on the meat of 300slaughtered dragons. Since that event, there has beenonly one reported dragon-sighting, underground inthe Eastlands in 948 GUE. An ancient tale, theLegend of Wishbringer, tells of a dragon calledThermofax that had an appetite for careless knights.Although quite intelligent, dragons are alsonotoriously naive, this being clearly demonstrated bythe fact that the dragon found in 948 was killed whenit was startled by its own reflection.

Dryads, also known as tree sprites, are beautiful andshy. Many never leave the shade of the tree they wereborn under. If coaxed, dryads can reveal the locationof forest treasures. They are only dangerous in largenumbers, and then only if threatened. Angereddryads have been known to crush attackers undertons of rose petals.

Duncanthrax the Bellicose, the first king of theFlathead Dynasty, took the throne from Zilbo IIIduring a palace revolt on the last day of 659 GUE. Heexpanded the kingdom by conquering Antharia andmost of the Eastlands. He also moved the capitalfrom Largoneth to Egreth.

Historians disagree about Duncanthrax's life prior to659. A petition signed by palace guards in 657,asking for an increase in the mosquito nettingallotment, bears a signature that looks suspiciously

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like "Duncanthrax." Some historians insist thatDuncanthrax was general of the Royal Militia. Onelegend even suggests that Duncanthrax was a demonwho assumed human form. Another legend describeshim as a former rope salesman.

Key events in the reign of Duncanthrax are the battleof Fort Griffspotter in 665, which gave Quendorcomplete control over the mighty Antharian navy,and the Diablo Massacre of 666, the decisive battle inthe conquest of the Eastlands. As Duncanthrax'sinvasion swept across the new lands in the east, hemade a startling discover: huge caverns and tunnels,populated by gnomes, trolls, and other magical races.Even as Duncanthrax conquered this region, hisimagination was inspired by this natural undergroundformation. If these caverns and tunnels were possiblein nature, so might they be formed by humans!Duncanthrax realized that by burrowing into theground he could increase the size of his empirefivefold or even tenfold! Founding the FrobozzMagic Construction Company to carry out hisproject, he became responsible for what his great-great-grandson, Dimwit Flathead, would call theGreat Underground Empire. By the time of his deathin 688, Duncanthrax ruled virtually all territory in theknown world, above and below ground.

Dungeon Master: There were in fact two of thesemysterious people who inhabited the caverns in theEastlands in the ninth and tenth centuries GUE.These Dungeon Masters were, in a manner ofspeaking, the successors to the throne of the GreatUnderground Empire after its collapse in 883.

The first Dungeon Master was the descendant of aservant from the court of Lord Dimwit Flathead. Thatservant, present on the day that Megaboz cursed thekingdom, was able to save a piece of parchment thatcontained hints on how to stop the Curse. Theparchment became a family heirloom, eventuallymaking its way into the hands of the person whowould become the first Dungeon Master.

On 14 Mumberbur 883, that man, in an attempt toforestall the Curse, came face to face with Megabozhimself. Despite his efforts, the Curse was fulfilledand the Empire was destroyed. However, for reasonsthat are not entirely understood, Megaboz felt itnecessary that someone be left as a guardian orinheritor of the vast underground territory. Megabozthus made the would-be Curse-buster into the firstDungeon Master, giving him total control over theEastland caverns, not to mention powerful magicalabilities, and half the wealth of the kingdom.

As the years passed and the underground cavernsbecame the stuff of legend, the existence of theDungeon Master was forgotten. In 948 a braveadventurer dared to enter the caverns near the formersite of Flatheadia. Vanquishing a thief, manymonsters, and the Wizard of Frobozz, this adventurereventually found his way to the home of the DungeonMaster himself, who, unbeknownst to the adventurer,had been following him and guiding him on hisquest. Apparently the first Dungeon Master grew oldand weary of his powers, and had chosen this youngadventurer as his successor.

Thus began the reign of the second Dungeon Master,which presumably lasted until the end of the Age ofMagic in 966. It is interesting to note that thecircumstances of the arrival of the second DungeonMaster exactly match the old legend of Zork, a talethat was once considered to be nothing more than afolk-myth.

Dust Bunnies burrow in obscure corners and underfurniture, and defend their territory by multiplying.Due to the nature of dust bunnies, they multiplyactually by dividing themselves in half. They canclog a passageway in seconds, filling the air withdark, suffocating particles. Static electricity andlemon-scented sprays are their only natural enemies.To date the only known dust bunny lair is in alighthouse near Grubbo-by-the-Sea.

E

The Eastlands comprise those provinces which lieon the eastern shore of the Great Sea, such asFlatheadia, and the Fublio Valley.

Egreth Castle served as the seat of royal power fromthe reign of Duncanthrax (who moved the capitalfrom Largoneth in 660 GUE) through the reign ofDimwit (who moved the capital to Flatheadia in 771GUE). Egreth was, and still is, reputed to be the mostdangerous locale in the kingdom. Protected fromhostile invaders from the sea by Fort Griffspotter,Egreth also happened to be the major sight in theWestlands of the vast tunneling project implementedby Duncanthrax to move the Empire underground. Inthe caverns near Egreth can be found the famousGlass Maze, Bozbarland, and the Great UndergroundHighway #2.

It is of slight historical interest to note that Egrethwas best remembered in the magical community forthe famed Coal-Walkers of Egreth, a troupe who used

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magical aid to protect themselves while carrying outtheir stunts.

Eldritch Vapors dwell in cemeteries, moors, andother locales where fog will hide their evershiftingforms. Two areas known to be frequented by eldritchvapors are the Festeron Cemetery and the marsh tothe south of Grubbo-by-the-Sea. Gleeful andmischievous, the vapors enjoy snatching away thepossessions of those foolish enough to wander intotheir realm. Visitors without possessions arethemselves snatched away.

Elves are a mysterious race of magical humanoids. Itis reasonable to assume that elves are natives of theEastlands, but none have ever been encounteredthere. The only definitely known elvish relic is amagical sword found in the Eastlands that glowswhen evil is nearby. However, rumors about elvesabound. One Accardi weapons shop also claims tosell swords of elvish make. The authenticity of theseclaims have not been verified.

The Enchanters' Guild can trace its roots to thereign of Entharion, over 900 years ago. It was in thatera that scholars penned the first writings on themystic subject of magic. Throughout the centuriesthe advancement of Thaumaturgy suffered manysetbacks. (See Appendix D on Magic) One of thesesetbacks, King Duncanthrax's Unnatural Acts,indirectly led to the foundation of the Enchanters'Guild.

When the ban on magic decreed by Duncanthrax wasloosened towards the end of the seventh century, thegreat thaumaturge Vilboz was able to form alegitimate organization to aid the scientific approachto the study of magic. This organization was the firstchapter of the Guild of Enchanters, founded in thetiny hamlet of Accardi-By-The-Sea. Since that day,additional chapters have usually been located insimilar small villages, since the bustle of city lifeinterferes with an Enchanter's work ("Excuse me, Ilocked my keys in my house. Could you pleaserezrov my door?").

From the earliest days of the Guild, Enchanters havebeen bound by a series of governing tenets. The firsttenet states that Enchanters may never use theirtalents to aid evil. The second points out that anEnchanter's duty is to the Guild and to the Kingdom,not to the individual. Lesser tenets include rules forconducting votes at meetings, guidelines for passingdishes at Guild banquets, and penalties for revealingthe Guild's secret handshake.

Thanks to the spread of the Guild, use of magic bylay people became more prevalent. One such layperson made a mistake that caused the devastatingEndless Fire of 773 GUE. To ensure that suchmistakes would never happen again, Lord DimwitFlathead issued a series of edicts that entrusted all useof magic to the various Guilds of Enchanters, thuspreventing magic use by the common person. TheseGuilds, whose elders comprised the so-called Circleof Enchanters, was empowered to form schools forthe training of new Enchanters.

This official sanctioning of the Guilds led to theformation of numerous other chapters, withmembership in various Guilds in excess of 2000 bythe year 800. Only one example is Dimithio, whosingle-handedly founded an Enchanters' Guild in thehuge metropolis of Borphee. By this time the oldchapters in Thriff and Accardi had become highlyinfluential, and helped to bring stability to the landfollowing the turbulence created by the collapse ofthe Great Underground Empire in 883.

However, when the tenth century rolled around theGuild began to face some problems. Although it wasunderwriting many philanthropic foundations andrunning many accredited thaumaturgical universities,not everybody was pleased with the way things weregoing. For instance, the 115th Convention ofEnchanters and Sorcerors in 957 GUE was plaguedwith pranks and magical oneupmanship betweenvarious chapters. Barbel of Gurth, a Guildmaster andelder member of the Circle of Enchanters,commented that he was "disgusted" with the state ofaffairs in the Enchanters' Guild.

Many complained of a lack of communicationbetween the chapters, while some junior enchantersgrumbled about "leadership stagnation." Thesecomplaints were directed at Barbel, who had been aGuildmaster since 933, and Belboz, who had led theCircle of Enchanters since 952, and had been aGuildmaster for 47 years. These people felt that thelifetime appointment of Guildmasters was far toolong.

However, the year 957 saw events that manyinterpreted as a rebirth for the Guild. One juniorguildmaster, who had defeated Krill only a few yearsbefore, rescued Belboz from the clutches of thedemon Jeearr, and became the new Head of theCircle. Unfortunately, this period of rebirth wasshort-lived. In 966 the new Head of the Circle set inmotion a chain of events that brought about the endof the Guild, and the end of the Age of Magic. Asthese events were unfolding, a Final Conclave of the

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Guild of Enchanters in Borphee acted to preserve thesum of all knowledge of the Guilds forever in thefamed Coconut of Quendor. Thus, although theEnchanters' Guild has come to an end in this Age,another age after the fall of Science will be able tomake use of their powers.

The Enchanters' Retreat is an old stone structureperched high in the Flathead Mountains. Forgenerations, retired (or even burnt-out) enchantershave gone there to breathe the clean mountain air,watch the stars, and rest from their exertions. Theappointments are simple, the fare in unsophisticated,and those there are always content. After the defeatof Jeearr in 957, the famous mage Belboz himselfsought refuge in the Retreat.

The Encyclopedia Frobozzica, a publication of theFrobozz Magic Encyclopedia Company, is the finestof its kind in the known world. All entries aremeticulously compiled by the Frobozz MagicEncyclopedia Research Company, the illustrationsare faithfully reproduced by the Frobozz Encyc-lopedia Illustration Company, and the facts are alldouble, triple, and quadruple-checked by the FrobozzMagic Encyclopedia Accuracy and VerificationCompany. No library should be without one! Weheartily congratulate you on your purchase of thislatest edition of the Encyclopedia Frobozzica. Earliereditions are perfect, but not as perfect as this, thedefinitive collection of the knowledge of the Age ofMagic.

The Endless Fire destroyed the city of Mareilon in773 GUE, after raging for 4 weeks. It was later foundout that the fire had been started by a civil servant on18 Estuary, who thought he was casting theZEMDOR spell ("turn original into triplicate") butwho, instead, cast the ZIMBOR spell ("turn onereally big city into lots of tiny, little ashes"). The Fireled Lord Dimwit Flathead (the Excessive) to issue aseries of 5,521 edicts over the following few weeks,which had the effect of severely limiting access tomagic, and, incidentally, lawyers. Henceforth, allmagic was entrusted to the various Guilds ofEnchanters.

Entharion the Wise united many warring tribes,including the rival city-states of Galepath andMareilon, thus forming the kingdom of Quendor. Asthe first king of Quendor, Entharion built the castleLargoneth, near the ancient cities of Galepath andMareilon, and ruled over a kingdom which was littlemore than what is currently the province of Frobozz.According to earlier, erroneous entries in theEncyclopedia Frobozzica, Entharion and his

legendary blade Grueslayer eradicated grues from theface of the world. Unfortunately for manyadventurers, this is not true. Our current calendardates from the first year of Entharion's reign, whichended in 41 GUE. He was succeeded by Mysterionthe Brave.

The Ethereal Plane of Atrii is an alternate plane ofexistence that has specific locations that coincidewith the same locations in the real world. However,the geometry and very nature of space in the EtherealPlane is different in an indescribable way. Those whohave mastered transcendental physics can easily jumpback and forth from the Ethereal Plane to the realworld via magic curtains called Dimension Doors, orthrough the use of a Scroll of Gating. Thesetranscendental voyagers report that solid objects fromthe Ethereal Plane appear only as vague outlines inour world, and vice versa. The Plane of Atrii, homeof the Implementors, is also the way of Orkan ofThriff was so easily able to transport his entire villageanywhere he desired in our world. It has beendiscovered that a transcendental traveler, uponmagically entering the Plane of Atrii, can easilyreturn to the real world via magic curtains speciallydesigned to provide a one-way trip.

The Evil One is the sorceress responsible for themagical transformation of the Antharian village ofFesteron into the dismal nightmare known asWitchville. It is known that The Evil One and otherslike her sought Wishbringer, the Stone of Dreams,known to be in possession of the proprietor of thelocal Magick Shoppe, who also happened to be TheEvil One's sister. In order to gain control of theStone, The Evil One kidnapped her sister's cat,Chaos, and held her ransom. Thanks to the braveryand cunning of a local postal service employee, TheEvil One's plan was foiled. The cat Chaos wasreturned to its rightful owner, Witchville wastransformed back into Festeron, and Wishbringer waskept out of the hands of The Evil One forever.

F

Fanucci: For a partial description of this famousgame, see Appendix C.

Feeb is a derogatory term often used byImplementors, among others, to describe aparticularly stupid and dense individual.

Lord Feepness was the voice of sanity andmoderation among Lord Dimwit's advisors. Threeexamples clearly prove this point. In 777 GUE

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Dimwit planned to build a Royal Museum under 2miles of mountain and surrounded by 500 feet ofsteel. Historical evidence suggests that Feepnessdeterred Dimwit from this extreme plan, but was lesssuccessful in other matters.

When Dimwit conceived of a massive undergroundflood control dam with thousands of gates, LordFeepness asked the king, "Wouldn't that be just a tadexcessive?" These words of wisdom were ignored,and the history books say nothing more of LordFeepness until the 14th of Mumberbur, 789 GUE. Onthis day, hours before Dimwit died, the kingconceived of a plan to construct a new continent,whose outline and contours would be a giganticreproduction of his own visage. However, the empiresimply did not have enough money to build it, andLord Feepness pointed out that raising the tax ratefrom 98% to 100% simply would not be a wisepolitical move.

Fenshire is a swampy region which stretches east ofthe Flathead Mountains to the edge of the world. Thesummer castle of the Flatheads was located in aremote section of Fenshire.

Barbazzo Fernap: Please see the entry under Jesters.

Festeron is a small village on the east coast ofAntharia. A quiet town, Festeron is intensely proudof its history, dedicating statues and minting coins inthe memory of its founding fathers and militaryheroes. Previously noted only for its exemplarypostal service, Festeron found its way into the annalsof history sometime during the tenth century duringthe reign of The Evil One. This mysterious sorceressmagically transformed the innocent town of Festeroninto an evil, hideous place called Witchville, whereevery normal person or place became a twisted andwicked version of itself. Luckily for Festeron, TheEvil One was vanquished by an employee of theaforementioned postal service, and everything wasreturned to normal.

Fibbsbozza is a leading manufacturer of magicscrolls and potions.

The Fields of Frotzen, fertile farmland in the heartof Gurth province, produce an annual bounty of grainand are frequently referred to as the Breadbasket ofQuendor. These Fields are home to packs of giantcorbies, and the last known specimen of the compassrose grows there. The area surrounding the Fields isprone to frequent storms, which makes travel in thearea very difficult. The location that is equivalent toFrotzen in the Ethereal Plane of Atrii is the home of

the Implementors. Those that are obsessed with triviamight like to know that the distance betweensignposts in Frotzen is 120 bloits.

The Final Conclave: The year 966 saw the failure ofthe very fabric of Magic. The reasons leading to theend of the Age of Magic make a very confusing tale.It seems that every time an enchanter casts a spell, ashadow of that enchanter is created. The morepowerful the enchanter, the more powerful thisshadow becomes. In 966 the leader of the Circle ofEnchanters, who vanquished Krill and Jeearr, was avery powerful enchanter indeed, and his shadow hadtaken a real form.

This Shadow had a dream: to hold sway over all ofthe world. To accomplish this goal he needed theCubes of Foundation, which he could only obtainwith the assistance of his human counterpart. Whenthe Shadow began to tamper with the force of Magicvia the few Cubes already in his possession, the Headof the Circle was unwittingly drawn into theShadow's game. The unreliability of Magic caused bythe Shadow lead to an emergency Conclave ofEnchanters to discuss the situation.

This Conclave, held on 14 August 966 in Guild Hallat Borphee, was attended by every guildmaster andmajor enchanter, including Orkan, Gustar Woomax,and Y'Gael. Several laypeople, such as Sneffle,Hoobly, Gzornenplatz, and Ardic, were also presentto discuss the failure of Magic. The course of thisdiscussion was interrupted when the Shadow of theHead of the Circle enterred the Hall and turnedeveryone except his human counterpart into variousamphibious creatures. This sent the Head of theCircle venturing out into the world to seek someanswers.

Meanwhile, the newly-created newts and toads wereable to continue their discussion. They quicklyrealized that the Age of Magic was coming to a close.The sorceress Y'Gael suggested using the Coconut ofQuendor as a container in which to preserve all of theknowledge of Magic for a later Age. A local peasantwas soon sent on the dangerous task of finding theCoconut.

The Head of the Circle managed to recover most ofthe Cubes of Foundation, which eventually led him tothe stronghold of his Shadow. Before this conflictwith the Shadow, the Coconut of Quendor was found,and the Enchanters at the Conclave, who had usedtheir powers to return to human form, were able tostore the knowledge of the Age of Magic inside theCoconut. Meanwhile the Head of the Circle had

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finally encountered his evil double. In this finalconflict the Cubes of Foundation were destroyed, andthis drew the Age of Magic to a close.

Fisha is a small wand producer in Foozle,specializing in Wands of Inanimation. Their wandstend to have a very limited life.

A Flamingo is a common garden animal.

Abraham Flathead, a great statesman from anunknown time period, is best noted for his famousquote, "A home that's cut in half usually falls over."

Babe Flathead (748 - 789 GUE): Often called theflattest of the Flatheads, Babe, the youngest of thetwelve, was born with an aptitude for sport. Hedemonstrated his dexterity and coordination early on,throwing baby blocks at his older siblings withimpressive speed and accuracy.

As a youth, he was always captain of the LittleLeague teams, thanks in part to pressure applied byhis uncle, Mayor Fiorello Flathead. Even as ateenager, he was something of a lady's man and aparty animal, and his older brother Dimwit wouldfrequently have to bail the Babe out of jail followingone infraction or another. By all accounts, Babe andDimwit, despite their 25-year age difference, wereclosest of all the Flathead siblings.

When he reached college age, Babe selected MithicusProvince University from amongst many eagersuitors. At MPU, Babe was a 43-letter man, leadinghis team to championships in every existing collegesport and several non-existent ones as well. (Manyexperts feel that Babe's teams would have won thesechampionships even if every competing school hadNOT had their QCAA memberships revoked.)

Throughout the Babe's professional sports career, heexcelled in everything he tried: bocce, tag-teamkayaking, full-court furbish. There was only oneexception. Try as he might, Babe could not masterDouble Fanucci. Even the unexplaineddisappearances of the 339 leading Double Fanucciplayers failed to get Babe into the championships.Fanucci experts believe that Babe's difficulty with thegame could be traced to one weakness: his failure toremember that three undertrumps after an opponent'sdiscard of a Trebled Fromp is an indefensible gambit.

By 782 GUE, the Babe was such a phenomenaldrawing card that Dimwit constructed the kingdom'slargest sporting arena, Flathead Stadium, in hishonor. It was there, during the shark-wrestling semi-

finals in 789 GUE, that the youngest of the TwelveFlatheads met his end.

Barbawit Flathead was the tenth king of theFlathead Dynasty. He came to the throne afterDuncwit, and was succeeded by Idwit Oogle. Hereigned from Flatheadia in the years 843-845.

Lord Dimwit Flathead the Excessive, the great-great-grandson of King Duncanthrax, ruled the GreatUnderground Empire from 770 GUE to 789 GUE. Hewas the seventh king of the Flathead Dynasty,coming to the throne after Mumberthrax, and beforeLoowit. Born in 723 GUE, Dimwit wasMumberthrax's firstborn, and grew up as heir to thethrone of Quendor. A tad spoiled, little Dimwit wasfond of torturing his nannies in the Egreth castledungeon.

Dimwit spent most of his early adulthood vacationing(with 40,000 attendants) in the sparsely populatedEastlands across the Great Sea. Dimwit despised theoutdoors, and he was petrified of rain, which puddledembarrassingly on his level pate. He soon becameenthralled by the underground caverns in those areas,an interest that was to change the course of theKingdom.

When Mumberthrax felt death's icy hand in 770GUE, Dimwit began his reign. Described by BoswellBarwell as "vibrant," Dimwit has also been portrayedas "the single worst ruler the Empire ever produced."(The Great Underground Empire: A History, byFroboz Mumbar) Dimwit moved the capital ofQuendor from Egreth in the Westlands to Aragain inthe Eastlands on 14 Jam 771. Aragain, a smallvillage, was transformed and renamed Flatheadia.Another indication of Dimwit's vanity was hisrenaming of the Great Sea to the Flathead Ocean.Dimwit also decreed that Quendor be called "TheGreat Underground Empire." These names are nowused interchangeably.

Lord Dimwit's vanity was surpassed only by hisoutrageous sense of proportion. For example, hiscoronation took 13 years to plan (and therefore tookplace two-thirds of the way through his reign), lastedan additional year and a half, and cost 12 times theEmpire's GNP. This incredible ceremony quicklyearned him the nickname Lord Dimwit Flathead theExcessive. More evidence of his excessiveness camein 783 when, on a whim, he ordered the erection ofFlood Control Dam #3, an underground projectwhose uselessness (it never rains underground!) andits cost (37 million zorkmids!) did not diminish its

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magnificence. He also had huge granola smeltersbuilt near the Antharian Granola Mines of Plumbat.

Dimwit also developed an incredible urge for oddcandies. He commissioned the Frobozz Magic CandyCompany to make him candied grasshoppers,chocolate ants, and worms glacee. His love for thesewas only surpassed by his desire for rare chocolatetruffles. In order to indulge his bottomless appetite,he ordered the excavation of entire forests where thetruffles grew. Another of Lord Dimwit'saccomplishments was the creation of the RoyalMuseum to house the crown jewels. Built in 776GUE and dedicated the next year, this Museum hadincredibly tight security that actually showed restrainton the part of the king. He had originally planned tobuild the museum under two miles of mountain, andsurround it with 500 feet of steel. This rare momentof self-control was probably due in some part to thesound advice of one of his chief advisors, LordFeepness. His other advisor, Delbor of Gurth, wasprobably too frightened to give his opinion in thematter.

Some bitter chroniclers have described Dimwit'scastle at Flatheadia as his biggest folly. It covered8600 square bloits, and housed, at one time, over90% of the empire's population. At this point,discerning readers will have noted that all ofDimwit's acts seemed to have been to gratify his ego.This, however, is not true. When the Endless Fire of773 destroyed the city of Mareilon, Lord DimwitFlathead issued over the following few weeks a seriesof 5,521 edicts severely limiting access to magic,and, incidentally, lawyers. These edicts resulted inthe blossoming of the highly successful institutions ofthe Guilds of Enchanters.

Lord Dimwit gave all of his underground projects tothe Frobozz Magic Cave Company, chiefly becausehis brother, John D. Flathead, was President ofFrobozzCo International, the Magic Cave Company'sparent company. Another of Dimwit's projects thatinvolved the Cave Company was his plan to quenchand then hollow out a mighty volcano nearFlatheadia. Dimwit was fond of this idea, andpersonally reviewed the plans at each stage.

After the volcano project was finished, the kingconceived of two more stupendous projects. Thesecond idea, never to be realized, was the creation ofa new continent in the center of the Flathead Ocean.The outline and contours of the new continent wouldhave been a gigantic reproduction of his own visage.Fortunately for mapmakers, Dimwit passed away in789 before he could accomplish his final goal. Not

surprisingly, his vanity would bring about the end ofhis Empire, and his life.

In 789 Dimwit ordered the defoliation of 1400 squarebloits of lush forest in the Fublio Valley to erect anine-bloit-high statue of himself, lending credence tothe Royal motto, "A truly great ruler is larger thanlife." One resident of Fublio Valley was notimpressed. The matter came to a head at a banquetthrown by Dimwit to celebrate his new statue. Thisbanquet, a minor affair that used 300 dragons to feeda few thousand guests, saw the conception of the lasttwo royal proposals of Dimwit's reign. Wishing tohave a dedication for his statue, he suggested givingeveryone in the Kingdom a year off, and invitingthem to Fublio Valley. The second main topic ofdiscussion at the banquet was Dimwit's idea for anew continent. The empire simply did not haveenough money to build it, and Lord Feepness, thevoice of sanity in the realm, pointed out that raisingthe tax rate from 98% to 100% simply would not be awise political move. Lord Dimwit, never satisfied,proposed adopting everyone in the Kingdom andtelling them that he'd cut off their allowances.

Just at that moment, the great mage Megabozappeared amidst a cloud of smoke. Furious at thestatue darkening his home of Fublio Valley, hecursed Dimwit's life, family, and Empire. In only afew moments, Lord Dimwit and his eleven siblingscame to a sudden death, thus ending one of the mostcolorful chapters in the history of Quendor. The courtmagicians were able to postpone the other effects ofMegaboz's Curse for quite some time. Ninety-fouryears later, on 14 Mumberbur 883, in the reign ofWurb Flathead, the Empire came to an end.Flatheadia was destroyed, and the age of the FlatheadDynasty was over.

Duncwit Flathead was the ninth king of the FlatheadDynasty. He came to the throne after Loowit, andwas succeeded by Barbawit. He reigned fromFlatheadia in the years 813-843.

Elvis Flathead was a hit singer who lived during theninth century GUE. He is best known for his hitsongs, "Love Is Blind," and "Hellhound," as in "Youain't nothing but a - ." His first concert was in 841GUE.

Ernie Flathead was the manager of numerous coalmines in the Great Underground Empire, mostnotably Coal Mine #502, located close to the GreatUnderground Highway #2, near Egreth. He mostlikely lived during the reign of King Duncanthrax inthe seventh century GUE.

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Fiorello Flathead: This man, alive in the 8th centuryGUE, was the brother of King Mumberthrax. Fiorellois not an example of an honest, moral citizen. This isbest shown by the pressure he exerted on the coachesof various Little League athletic teams in order toensure that his nephew, Babe Flathead, was alwayscaptain of the team. It is also known that Flatheadattained the office of Mayor, although it is uncertainin which city he did so.

Frank Lloyd Flathead (741 - 789 GUE): Aschildren, all the Flathead siblings adored playing withblocks. (Nanny Beeble, governess to the children,recalls that many had teams of slaves whoseexclusive job it was to move the larger blocks.)However, only Frank Lloyd drew plans beforebuilding.

Frank Lloyd got his big break at the tender age of 17,when his father, King Mumberthrax, commissionedhim to design a new wing for Castle Egreth. Theresulting wing was breathtakingly impressive. AsFrank Lloyd himself wrote, "the conjunction of spaceand time seems to interface in a pre-subjectedinstantiation of the underrepresented whole." FrankLloyd became, overnight, the hottest architect in theKingdom. (The fact that the new wing of Egrethcollapsed two years later, killing over 4,000 royalguests, was credited to a miscalculation on thestonemason's part. He was summarily executed.)

His reputation established, Frank Lloyd designedvirtually every important Quendorian building duringhis three decades as Official Court Architect. Hisdesigns ranged from his vacation chalet in the GrayMountains to the Great Meeting Hall of theEnchanters' Guild in Borphee, but Frank Lloyd is bestknown for his most ambitious work: the 400-storyFrobozzCo Building in Flatheadia.

Overlooking exaggerations such as "on a clear dayyou can see the FrobozzCo Building from anywherein the world," it is still the most ambitious buildingever designed or built. A FrobozzCo Buildingaddress is most prestigious, and Frank Lloyd himselfhad a penthouse office, until a slight case ofacrophobia forced him to relocate to a nineteenth-story office with a pleasant southern exposure.

The carcinogenic chemicals used in the eighthcentury to create blueprints finally took their toll onFrank Lloyd, and he died in 789 GUE.

Idwit Oogle Flathead was the eleventh king of theFlathead Dynasty, and father of Wurb Flathead. Idwit

came to the throne after Barbawit, and reigned fromFlatheadia in the years 845-881, when he wassucceeded by his son.

J. Pierpont Flathead (730 - 789 GUE): As a child, J.Pierpont demonstrated both the flair for capitalismand the resourcefulness which would make him themost successful banker in all of Quendor. Theenterprising eight-year-old opened a lemonade standin the center of Egreth Village, using the royal militiato force citizens to buy the lemonade. At spearpoint,most people were willing to pay little J. Pierpont'sexorbitant price of 300 zorkmids per glass. Ice wasextra.

He also used the militia to quash the other lemonadestands in the city, and later to shut off all otherbeverage sources as well. As the prices at hislemonade stand soared into quadruple digits, J.Pierpoint quickly realized the benefits of monopolies.In 749, at the age of nineteen, J. Pierpont became aclerk at the Bank of Zork. Six weeks later, followinga rash of disappearances of his successive bosses, J.Pierpont became the youngest Chairman of the Boardin the bank's history, a testament to his financialacumen.

As Chairman, he used his royal connections toeliminate all competing banks, increasing the Bank ofZork's market share from 99.2% to 100%. (He waslater able to increase this number to 131% byencouraging customers to deposit their money severaltimes.) He also supervised the installation of thelatest magic-based security techniques to guard thebank's vault and deposit box areas. For unknownreasons, J. Pierpont hired exclusively gnomes to fillhis teller and security positions.

J. Pierpont Flathead served as the Chairman of theBoard until his odd disappearance in 789 GUE, whenhe entered one of the bank's vaults and never re-emerged. Although gone, he is not forgotten;reproductions of his portrait still hang in everybranch of the Bank of Zork.

Johann Sebastian Flathead (728 - 789 GUE): In732 GUE, the Frobozz Philharmonic Orchestra wasformed. Because of the woeful lack of orchestralmusic in existence, the FPO usually settled forplaying baroque versions of old folk tunes andpopular dance numbers. Seven years later, the FPOperformed their first symphony. The piece wasnotable because of the age of its author, a precociouseleven-year-old named Johann Sebastian Flathead.

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As he matured, Johann's symphonies increased inlength, while his audiences mysteriously decreased insize. (No reasonable postulation has been made toexplain Johann's lack of popularity. It is the belief ofthis author that the short attention span of the generalpublic precluded it from sitting still for the whole ofone of his symphonies.) His Symphony #981, the so-called Infinite Symphony, contained over 60,000movements; over the course of its only performace,several members of the orchestra retired and werereplaced by their children or grandchildren.

Dimwit recognized a kindred spirit in his youngerbrother, and appointed him official court composer in771. Later that year, he wrote his famous "FlatheadiaOverture for Rack and Pendulum" to celebrate thededication of Dimwit's new dungeon. He spent hislatter years composing music for ever more grandioseinstruments, such as his Concerto for Woodwindsand Waterfalls. Johann was killed in 789 when amishap occurred during a rehearsal of his Minuet forViolin and Volcano.

John D. Flathead (725 - 789 GUE): KingDuncanthrax formed the Frobozz Magic ConstructionCompany in 667 GUE to enlarge the undergroundcaverns of the Eastlands. Affiliated companies, suchas the Frobozz Magic Dirt Disposal Company, andthe Frobozz Magic Underground Sewer InstallationCompany, soon followed. The next year, FrobozzCoInternational was formed as a parent company for theburgeoning subsidiaries.

By 743, there were more than 17,000 subsidiaries ofFrobozzCo. That same year, a young entrepreneurnamed John D. Flathead graduated from thevenerable Borphee Business School. At age 22, JohnD. founded Flathead Industries. FI's business wasinventing other companies, which it would then sellto FrobozzCo. Within three years, FI had an annualincome of 80,000,000 zorkmids. Eventually, theconglomerate decided to buy FI, renaming it theFrobozz Magic Company Company. John D. becameone of FrobozzCo's 39,000 vice-presidents.

It didn't take John D. long to parlay his businessacumen and royal connections into the chairmanshipof FrobozzCo. Years of heady growth followed.When John D.'s older brother Dimwit became king,FrobozzCo received every contract for Dimwit'sincredible projects. Hundreds of new subsidiarieswere formed daily; in 781 a huge 400-storyheadquarters opened in Flatheadia.

John D.'s long-time goal was for FrobozzCo tocontrol every single zorkmid of commerce in the

Great Underground Empire. The lone holdout, asmall rutabaga farm in Mithicus, finally sold out toFrobozzCo in 789. John D. never heard the news,however. He disappeared, along with a hugeentourage, while touring the factories of the FrobozzMagic Snowmaking Equipment Company in theGray Mountains.

John D. Flathead II - X were all descendants of theoriginal John D., and were, like him, all chairmen ofFrobozzCo International at one time or another. Theonly specific date we have on file is that John D. Xtook over the Chairmanship of the Board from hisfather on the first of February, 948.

John Paul Flathead (738 - 789 GUE): All theFlathead aunts and uncles predicted early on thatJohn Paul would find his destiny at sea. He lovedboats so much that the royal carpenters were orderedto produce a flotilla of 1,400 vessels for his bathtub.(His bathtub had to be consequently enlarged; a largeinland sea resulted.)

From an early age, John Paul suffered from aninferiority complex derived from being the second"John" among the Flathead children. (In hisautobiography, Mumberthrax explains that when henamed John Paul he "simply forgot about John D.")This complex made John Paul determined to becomea world-famous seafaring adventurer.

At sea, his feats ranged from the courageous (he wasthe first person to traverse the Great Sea in a one-manship) to the curious (he set a new record for the mostcircumnavigations of Antharia on a raft towed bygroupers).

In 766 GUE, at the age of 28, John Paul joined theroyal navy; by 771, he was the ranking admiral; by773, every ship in the navy had been sunk or lost atsea. John Paul retired shortly thereafter.

He spent his latter days touring the Flathead Ocean,collecting curious and unusual pets from all cornersof the world. Among the most interesting: a largeblue toad named "Otto" who was known for hisextraordinary appetite and his curmudgeonlypersonality.

John Paul died in 789 GUE, during a vacation inGrubbo-by-the-Sea, when his old nemesis, the greatwhite jellyfish, finally caught up with him.

Leonardo Flathead (731 - 789): Little notice wastaken of Leonardo Flathead as a child. He was shyand quiet, and quite overshadowed by his aggressive

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older brothers. It wasn't until his arrival at GalepathUniversity that his genius blossomed and the worldbegan to take notice.

While at the University, Leonardo wrote severalmajor treatises which revolutionized scientificthought. The most famous of these disproved thehoary myth that the world sits on the back of a giantturtle, proving instead that the world actually rests onthe head of an enormous troll.

After his University days were over, Leonardo turnedfrom science to art. He became the most famouspainter in the land: noblemen from every provincewere escorted to his studio by Dimwit's personalmilitia to have their portraits painted.

Unfortunately, during his later years Leonardobecame quite senile, and his painting styledeteriorated. He took to flinging paint at his canvasesin much the same way that a Borphee baker flingsbits of dough into a hot oven to make Frobolli Cakes.His studio became caked with layer upon layer ofsplattered paint. It was during this period that hisfamous incomplete work, "Obstructed View ofFjord," was lost.

Leonardo made a final, feeble attempt to recapturehis former greatness by moving to other media besidepaint, but these efforts led to his tragic end. In 789,while working on a large statue intended for theharbor of Antharia, he suffered a fatal plunge into avat of molten granola.

Leo "The Lip" Flathead: A renowned card-shark.

Loowit Flathead was the eighth king of the FlatheadDynasty. He came to the throne after Dimwit, andwas succeeded by Duncwit. He reigned fromFlatheadia in the years 789-813.

Lucrezia Flathead (735 - 789): Of all the TwelveFlatheads, it is most difficult to separate history fromlegend when studying Lucrezia, the only sister toeleven aggressive brothers. Showing a total lack ofunderstanding for her delicate position, detractorshave cruelly tried to claim that Lucrezia had a warpedmind. At the tender age of sixteen, Lucrezia marrieda very rich but very old nobleman from Gurth,Marcus Bzart-Foodle. Ten-and-a-half months later,he died in bed with his bride. Afterward, Bzart-Foodle's doctor could not recall whether he hadwarned Lucrezia to avoid over-exciting her husband'sweak heart.

Lucrezia's second husband, a wealthy land baronfrom Mareilon named Oddzoe Glorb III, was founddead just five weeks after the wedding, his bodymangled by hellhounds. It was quite understandablethat Lucrezia had her multi-volume hellhoundtraining manual removed from the house at once; thesight of it must have brought back tragic memories.

Five days later, Lucrezia sought consolation in a thirdmarriage, to the Governor of Antharia, HiraxMumbleton. Only two days after that, Antharia waswithout a governor. Hirax had been discovered in hisoffice, smothered under a ton of raw granola. Hissobbing widow immediately cancelled delivery of herdaily truckloads of granola, in order to avoid anysimilar tragedies. After her next fifteen husbands, allwealthy lords, died in their wedding nights, royalinsiders reported that she was so distraught by hertragic string of bad luck that she was becomingdangerously suicidal. Elder brother Dimwit wasfinally forced into action, and had her locked up in acell in the dungeon for her own safety. Shelanguished in that cell for the remaining fifteen yearsof her life. During this period, some 1,800 prisonguards were mysteriously poisoned. Some legendssay that her own death, in 789, was self-induced.

Mumberthrax Flathead the Insignificant, the sixthking of the Flathead Dynasty, ruled the kingdomfrom Egreth Castle during the years 755-770.Historians note that Mumberthrax's reign wassignificant for exactly thirteen, and only thirteen,reasons. The first reason was his royal decree thatmade Double Fanucci the National Sport of Quendor.As for the other reasons, Boswell Barwell writes that"Mumberthrax's place in history was secured by theone thing at which Flatheads tended to excel:procreation." Mumberthrax was the father of thefamed Twelve Flatheads.

O'Flathead, the great humorist, would have quiteprobably gotten a chuckle out of the Double Fanuccirule suspending the game when one player leads bymore than 1241 points. The irony involved in playingso long without a decision is the same type of humorO'Flathead was noted for.

Oliver Wendell Flathead, a great jurist, handeddown his decisions from the bench of the court inFlatheadia.

Phloid Flathead was the fifth king of the FlatheadDynasty. He came to the throne after Timberthrax,and was succeeded by Mumberthrax. He reignedfrom Egreth Castle in the years 738-755.

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Ralph Waldo Flathead (737 - 789): An unspokenFlathead family motto was "quantity over quality,"and no one demonstrated that tenet better than RalphWaldo. During his 40-plus years of putting pen toparchment, he wrote 912 novels, 4,000 short stories,and an incredible 87,000 sonnets. His essays havenever been successfully counted.

Ralph Waldo spent eleven years at AnthariaUniversity, collecting a chestful of degress, includingthree doctorates: Doctor of Idyllic Poetry, Doctor ofExcellent Elegies, and Doctor of Octameter Odes. Hewas very proud of his academic accomplishments,and always signed his name "Ralph Waldo Flathead,D.I.P., D.E.E., D.O.O."

Fresh out of college and flush with the enthusiasm ofyouth, Ralph Waldo wrote a series of lengthy essayswhich he hoped would uplift the human spirit. Sadlyand inexplicably, these essays lifted little more thanthe profits of the Frobozz Magic Writing PaperCompany. The essays from this period include "Onthe Benefits of Keeping Ears Clean" and "WhyDoorknobs are Necessary." Also during this period,he wrote "On the Discoloration of Roadside Slush,"but the manuscript was lost before it could bepublished, leaving Ralph Waldo disconsolate foryears.

During his middle years, Ralph Waldo spent nearlyhalf a decade living in the granola mines of Antharia.It was during this period that he wrote his longestwork, a 60,000-verse epic about the varieties of mossthat one finds in granola mines. Toward the end ofhis life, Ralph Waldo specialized in exploring relatedthemes, as brilliantly demonstrated by the foursonnets found by his deathbed:• Sonnet #87,177 "Ode to a Tiny Moist Avocado

Pit"• Sonnet #87,178 "Ode to Another Tiny Moist

Avocado Pit"• Sonnet #87,179 "Ode to Two Tiny Moist

Avocado Pits"• Sonnet #87,180 "Ode to Two Still-Tiny-But-

Less-Moist Avocado Pits"

Ralph Waldo died in 789 GUE. An autopsy revealedthat the cause of death was an overdose of avocados.

Thomas Alva Flathead (730 - 789): Many havemastered the magical arts; few applied them to thecreation of practical devices as masterfully as thegreat inventor Thomas Alva Flathead.

His brilliance was evident even in childhood. ThomasAlva, the sixth son in his family, was constantly

tormented by his siblings: no sooner would he get atoy to play with than some older brother wouldsnatch it away. Thomas Alva quickly remedied thesituation by inventing powerful steel traps which, atfirst glance, looked exactly like toy boats or stuffeddornbeasts.

As an adult, Thomas Alva produced a seeminglyendless stream of inventions from his laboratory,Froblo Park. His most useful inventions include themagic room spinner and the magic compressor, buthe is probably best-known as the inventor of thebattery-powered brass lantern.

Thomas Alva also made a number of breakthroughsin the area of personally-ingested magic. His mostfamous invention in this area was a yellowish-greenpotion which allowed humans to talk to plants.

All of these inventions were marketed by FrobozzCoInternational, providing Thomas Alva with generousroyalties. But he spurned wealth, living in a smallroom behind his laboratory and sleeping on anunfinished wooden board. Thomas Alva died in 789GUE from a severe case of splinters.

Timberthrax Flathead was the fourth king of theFlathead Dynasty. He came to the throne afterFrobwit, and was succeeded by Phloid. He reignedfrom Egreth Castle in the years 727-738.

T. J. "Stonewall" Flathead (726 - 789) received hiscelebrated nickname while serving as a Squire in theRoyal Army during the famous Battle of TheStonewall in 747 GUE. The Stonewall was astrategically vital locale, commanding the two mostimportant caverns of the Eastlands. When reportsarrived that rebellious natives had captured TheStonewall, T.J. Flathead and his garrison wereassigned the mission of retaking it.

After a battle lasting seven weeks, during which T.J.'smen suffered a casualty rate of nearly 75%, thegarrison stormed The Stonewall. Once in commandof it, they discovered that the reports had beenerroneous: The Stonewall was completelyundefended, and the supposedly rebellious nativeswere actually all vacationing in the Gray Mountains.Nevertheless, T.J.'s tactics and strategies during thebattle were brilliant, and he would henceforth beknown as Stonewall Flathead.

Stonewall rose quickly through the ranks, and in 755GUE he became General of the Royal Army. Duringhis 34 years in command, he squelched threeprovincial rebellions and over 12,000 tax riots.

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Fortunately, his unlimited conscription powershelped mitigate the 98% casualty rate his armysuffered during these difficult battles.

Stonewall died in 789 GUE during the Battle ofRagweed Gulch, when he was accidentally shot byone of his own men.

Ursula Flathead: The Miss Miznia of 878 GUE hasbeen called the "Sex Goddess of the GreatUnderground Empire." The editors would be hard-pressed to disagree with the phrase, especiallyconsidering a series of posters showing Ursula in asuggestive pose, wearing minimal cover.

Vanna Flathead is one of few members of theFlathead family who could be called a sissy. Hername has become a part of the vernacular due toDouble Fanucci players who invoke her name tomock their opponent's impotence.

Wurb Flathead, son of Idwit Oogle Flathead, wasthe twelfth and final king in the Flathead dynasty.Born on Oracle 3rd, he assumed the throne in 881,and his reign came to an abrupt end on the 14th ofMumberbur, 883, when the Curse of Megaboz,delayed for 94 years, finally succeeded in destroyingthe reign of the Flatheads.

Wurb has been given bad press by those who feel thathis remarkable feeble-mindedness was responsiblefor the fall of the Empire. The truth of the matter isthat Dimwit Flathead's bad policies caused Megabozto cast his Curse, while Wurb did his best to fight offhis inevitable downfall. His most notable act as kingwas to offer one half of the wealth of the kingdom toanyone who could forestall the Curse. When this didnothing to prevent the Empire's downfall, Wurb losthis throne and moved somewhere else.

Flatheadia was the capital of the Great UndergroundEmpire from 770 GUE, when Lord Dimwit Flatheadbuilt his castle there, to the fall of the Empire in 883.(The former seat of royal government was Egreth, inthe Westlands. Dimwit's love of the Eastlands hasalways been given as the main motive behind thecapital's relocation.) Before 770, Flatheadia had beencalled Aragain. In a surprisingly short amount oftime, that small village was transformed andrenamed, quickly becoming the center of civilizationas it was then known.

At its peak, the castle at Flatheadia housed 90% ofthe Empire's population. The nearby village-turned-metropolis was home to the Underground RevenueService, the Postal Service, and various temples and

courts of law. The dominating feature of theFlatheadia landscape after 781 was the 400-storyFrobozzCo World Headquarters Building, designedby Frank Lloyd Flathead. Much like Egreth, itscounterpart in the Westlands, Flatheadia was thefocus of all new underground tunneling and exploringin the area.

It is a well-known historical fact that splendor neverlasts, and this was indeed the case with Flatheadia.The population of Flatheadia steadily declined afterDimwit's death in 789, due to fears of the Curse ofMegaboz. These fears became reality when, in 883,the Curse that had been postponed 94 yearssucceeded in destroying the Empire, and Flatheadiaalong with it. All that remains of Flatheadia today is asimple white house.

Twelve Flatheads: As every student of historyknows, the Twelve Flatheads were the greater part ofthe Thirteen Significant Accomplishments of KingMumberthrax the Insignificant. In the immortalwords of Boswell Barwell, the royal biographer:"Mumberthrax's place in history was secured by theone thing at which the Flatheads tended to excel:procreation. He sired twelve amazing children;twelve offspring who would transform the kingdom.As these magnificent siblings grew in notoriety, astheir vast achievements became legendary, theybecame known as The Twelve Flatheads." The firstof the twelve, Dimwit, was born in 723, 25 yearsbefore the birth of the youngest, Babe. All of thetwelve were killed on 14 Mumberbur 789 as a resultof the Curse of Megaboz. Although several of thetwelve bodies were never recovered, an undergroundcrypt in the Eastlands is advertised as holding themortal remains of the Twelve. This archaeologicaldilemma has never been adequately solved, but it iscommonly believed that the crypt merely holdsaccurate models of the heads of the Flatheads.Falsehood-in-advertising charges are currently beinginvestigated against the author of the following signover the crypt: "Here lie the Flatheads, whose headswere placed on poles by the keeper of the Dungeonfor amazing untastefulness." More information oneach of the Twelve can be found in the followingspecific entries: Dimwit, John D., T.J. "Stonewall",Johann Sebastian, J. Pierpont, Thomas Alva,Leonardo, Lucrezia, Ralph Waldo, John Paul, FrankLloyd, and Babe Flathead.

Flathead Fjord: The beautiful Flathead Fjord is anocean inlet which divides the great mountains of theEastlands into two ranges: the Gray Mountains, onthe north side of the fjord, and the FlatheadMountains, south of the fjord. Leonardo Flathead

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love to paint near the Fjord in his later years, and it ishere that he worked on his famous incomplete work,"Obstructed View of Fjord."

Flathead Mountains: This towering range in theEastlands runs north to south, forming the easternborder of the Frigid River Valley. Beyond themountains, the Fenshire Swamp extends to the edgeof the world. Near the southern end of the range, theZorbel Pass permits passage to the Fublio Valley. Ifmountain climbing turns you on, the FlatheadMountains offer one of the best challenges anywhere.

The Flathead Ocean divides the world into theEastlands and the Westlands. It was called the GreatSea until the time of Dimwit Flathead, and it is stillknown by its earlier name in many parts of the land.This Ocean has a very unusual feature - its westernshore basks in the sunlight, while its eastern shorelies far underground.

Flathead Stadium, located just to the north ofAnthar, is supposedly large enough to hold everyman, woman, and child in Quendor. The Stadium isoften referred to as "The House That Babe Built," atribute to Babe Flathead's popularity as a gateattraction. In fact Dimwit Flathead ordered theconstruction of the stadium in 782 in Babe's honor.From that year onward a whole range of sportingevents were held in the stadium, including DoubleFanucci tournaments, dragonfights, and shark-wrestling, which led to Babe's death in 789. Thistragedy did not prevent the continuation of shark-wrestling every weekend during the summer.

Flathead, the urban planner, helped design the plansfor The Evil One to transform Festeron intoWitchville.

Flood Control Dam #3 is a staggering engineeringfeat that must be seen to be believed. It wasconstructed in year 783 of the Great UndergroundEmpire to harness the mighty Frigid River. This workwas supported by a grant of 37 million zorkmidsfrom the local omnipotent tyrant of the era, LordDimwit Flathead the Excessive. This impressivestructure is composed of 370,000 cubic feet ofconcrete, is 256 feet tall at the center, and 193 feetwide at the top. The lake created behind the dam hasa volume of 1.7 billion cubic feet, an area of 12million square feet, and a shore line of 36 thousandfeet. A popular legend indicates that Lord Dimwithad originally intended to name the dam FCD #2, anentirely random designation, since there were noother such dams in existence.

Prince Foo was the last ruler of Pheebor and ownerof the Phee Helm, about 400 years before the reign ofEntharion. When Foo was beheaded by someone hecalled an "eastern fop" from Borphee, the gloriousage of Pheebor ended, and Borphee rose to theprominence it now enjoys.

Saint Foobus of Galepath, a legendary man said tohave power over lowly insects, has a holiday in hishonor on 4 Oracle of each year. One of the mostobscure spots in the Great Underground Empire is acleverly hidden shrine to Foobus, deep undergroundin the Eastlands. This shrine holds a statue of thesaint carved out of the wall of the cave. The sculptorof the statue obviously spent a lot more time on thestatue than the saint deserved. It is now known thatFoobus achieved his powers over insects with the aidof a magical elixir deadly to humans.

Jezbar Foolion wrote a history of Duncanthrax'sascent to power called The New Year's Revolt.

Lester Foozilbarmumboz is noted for his well-readbook, G.U.E. on Nine Zorkmids A Day, published in873. This book is the source of many population anddistance figures quoted in this Encyclopedia.

Forburn the Wily, Double Fanucci champion, raisedthe level of play in Double Fanucci championshipsthe moment he was dealt his cards. With a handicapof only 0.01, his greatest skill was drawing TrebledFromps.

Forburn never formally studied magic, but won aspell book from an unsuspecting G.U.E. Tech studentin a 902 GUE Fanucci match. Bringing new meaningto the word "chiseler" wherever he went, his mostfamous saying was, "The Encyclopedia Frobozzicacalls Double Fanucci a 'game played with cards.' Idon't play games; I don't play anything."

People acquainted with Double Fanucci know thatthere is a 79 point play named after Forburn himself,called the Forburn Chisel.

Fort Griffspotter once guarded the lands nearEgreth Castle from attack by sea. The Fort wasequipped with parade grounds, barracks, an armory,and remarkable cast-iron cannon emplacements. In665 the forces of Duncanthrax vanquished theAntharian Armada at the famous battle of FortGriffspotter. This battle gave Duncanthraxundisputed control over the Great Sea.

The Four Fantastic Flies of Famathria, each biggerand more succulent than the last, is a legend

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fabricated by a race of toad creatures who once livedsomewhere beyond the oceans of the world. Seafarersreports that these toads were ugly, cantankerous, andeternally hungry. Like most legends, the tale of theFour Flies has its roots in fact. Four Flies matchingthat description were known to exist in the Eastlandsin 883 GUE, but were eaten by Otto the Toad.

A Fox is a common animal.

The Frigid River has the most severe currents anddangerous rapids known to man, and is without adoubt the mightiest river in the Great UndergroundEmpire. It forms at the spill-off of Flood ControlDam #3, pours over Aragain Falls, and finallyempties into the Great Sea at the southern end of theFrigid River Valley. The total length, from dam toriver delta, is over 150 bloits. On the first day ofsummer in the days of the Empire, crowds lined thebanks of the Frigid River for a spectacular sight: theannual opening of the floodgates of FCD #3.

The Frigid River Valley, a province of the GreatUnderground Empire with a population of 98,330,encompasses the 15,322 square bloits which form therunoff basin of the Frigid River. Considered thebackwater of the Great Underground Empire, thisprovince is difficult to get to, has very unpredictableweather, and has virtually no local government tospeak of. However, this province is notable for theFlathead Mountains, the Aragain Falls, the RoyalMuseum, Flood Control Dam #3, and the location ofFlatheadia, the former capital of the Empire.

Lorissa Frob wrote a book called Wouldn't It Be FunTo Live Underground?

Frobar is the most loyal and hard-working memberof the Accardi Guild of Enchanters. However, he issomewhat dull and lacks imaginations. He will mostlikely never become head of the Circle of Enchanters.

Frobizzan Moss is the official flower of the GrayMountains Province.

Uncle Frobizzmus is the author of a history of thefall of the Great Underground Empire called So YouWant To Sack an Empire.

Froblo Park was the laboratory of Thomas AlvaFlathead, located near Flatheadia Castle in theEastlands. It was here that he invented a seeminlyendless stream of devices, including a magic roomspinner, a magic compressor, a magic shape-changer,and a battery-powered brass lantern.

Frobolli Cakes are a popular Borphee dessert madeby flinging bits of dough into a hot oven.

Frobozz, an ancient province in the northern part ofthe Westlands, is the site of many historic settlementssuch as Galepath, Mareilon, and the CastleLargoneth. This province of Frobozz correspondsroughly to the Kingdom of Quendor during the reignof Entharion. After the downfall of the kingdom in883, the entire area came to be referred to as the Landof Frobozz, after its largest province.

J.B. Frobozz: Although history tells us thatFrobozzCo has its origins in a company formed byKing Duncanthrax, it is popularly believed that it wasreally founded by a J.B. Frobozz, whose motto was"Sell Good Magical Aids."

FrobozzCo International is a vast conglomerate ofthousands upon thousands of companies. It can traceits origin to the Frobozz Magic Cave Company,which was formed at the behest of King Duncanthraxin 668 GUE. (Please see entry on J.B. Frobozz)Affiliated companies, such as the Frobozz Magic DirtDisposal Company, and the Frobozz MagicUnderground Sewer Installation Company, soonfollowed. The same year, FrobozzCo Internationalwas formed as a parent company for the burgeoningsubsidiaries. By 743, there were more than 17,000subsidiaries.

That same year, a young entrepreneur named John D.Flathead graduated from the venerable BorpheeBusiness School. John D. founded FlatheadIndustries to invent other companies, which it wouldthen sell to FrobozzCo. Within three years, FlatheadIndustries had an annual income of 80 millionzorkmids. Eventually, the conglomerate decided tobuy FI, renaming it the Frobozz Magic CompanyCompany.

Once John D. became one of FrobozzCo's 39,000vice-presidents he was quickly able to becomeChairman of the Board, as eventually would ninegenerations of his descendants. When John D.'s olderbrother Dimwit became king, FrobozzCo receivedevery contract for Dimwit's incredible projects.Hundreds of new subsidiaries were formed daily; inthe year 778 18,000 additional companies wereformed or taken over. FrobozzCo, whose companymotto is "You name it, we do it," was able toproclaim that it produced everything from aardvarksto zwieback. John D. Flathead's long-time goal wasfor FrobozzCo to control every single zorkmid ofcommerce in the Great Underground Empire. Thiswas realized in 789 when the lone holdout, a small

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rutabaga farm in Mithicus, finally sold out toFrobozzCo.

This financial explosion led to the construction by theMagic Cave Company of a huge 400-story companyheadquarters in Flatheadia in the year 781. Thisbuilding, designed by Frank Lloyd Flathead, waseasily the tallest, most impressive building in all ofQuendor. However, it would not stand forever. In 883the Curse of Megaboz destroyed Flatheadia, forcingFrobozzCo to relocate their headquarters to Borphee.

It is interesting to note that the first Dungeon Master,who indirectly caused the destruction of theFlatheadia headquarters, was rewarded by Megabozwith a controlling share of FrobozzCo's stock.Despite this puzzling political situation FrobozzCothrived right up through the end of the Age of Magic.In fact the company made a killing in the fall of 966by issuing a Special Crisis Edition of their MagicCatalog to convince people that even at a time whenmagic was failing, FrobozzCo wouldn't fail them. Inthis catalog they proclaimed the official FrobozzCobusiness philosophy: "Sell good magical aids at areasonable profit, treat your customers like superenchanters, and they'll always come back for more."

Frobwit the Flatter was the third king of theFlathead Dynasty, ruling the kingdom from EgrethCastle during the years 701-727 GUE. Frobwit'sreign is noted mainly for a flourishing of theThaumaturgic science. During this period the firstreliable magic wand was produced.

Fromps are a suit of cards in the game of DoubleFanucci.

Froon: Legends of this magical kingdom date backbefore the reign of Entharion the Wise (0-41 GUE).Froon was the setting for a series of belovedchildren's books by L. Frank Fzort, and later becamea successful movie musical starring Judy Garlic.

In the year 966 a humble peasant-turned-adventurerdiscovered that there is truth behind the Froonlegend. This adventurer had the odd experience ofbeing transported by a tornado to Froon, a placewhere apparently no one is taller than two feet. Quiteby accident the adventurer won the gratitude of thenatives by killing the Heeled One, a boot who hadtormented the people of Froon for over 300 years.For accomplishing this feet, Grope, Mayor of theCity of Froon, offered the adventurer one of three ofthe keys to the Kingdom of Froon. These sparsedetails are all that is known of this strange, hiddenland.

Frostham is the capital of the Gray MountainsProvince.

Quizbo Frotzwit was the Managing Foreman of theRockville Estates.

Fublio Valley was once a richly verdant area at thesouthern tip of the Flathead Mountains that wasdefoliated in the eighth century. In the year 789, LordDimwit Flathead ordered the destruction of 1,400square bloits, or 400,000 acres, of Fublio Valleyforest to make way for an immense nine-bloit-highstatue of himself. Only recently has the area begun toreturn to normal because of this.

Fublio Valley is also noted for a rock quarry, and thefact that for some odd reason it has always been afavorite spot for wizards (such as Megaboz, Gumbozand Korboz) who enjoy a hermitic lifestyle. Thesewizards have used the Valley as a site to practicetheir magical/religious rituals involving stone cairns.Fublio Valley was also probably the home of thepainter Frobesius Fublius.

Frobesius Fublius was a painter who specialized inrebuses. A mysterious figure, he reputedly lived nearZorbel Pass and vanished toward the end of theeighth century. Recent historians have speculated thatFublius and the enchanter Megaboz were one and thesame. Both lived near Zorbel and vanished in thesame time period. Even more compelling is thediscovery that Fublius' rebuses revealed facts aboutMegaboz that only Megaboz himself could haveknown.

Fungus: A class of saprophytic parasitical plantswhich lack chlorophyll and are frequently found inthe less hygienic cavities of brogmoids.

Furbish: A professional athletic sports game playedby Babe Flathead.

Harmonious Fzort was the seventh king of theEntharion Dynasty, reigning from Largoneth in theyears 451-477. He came to the throne after Zilbo II,and was succeeded by Bozbo II.

L. Frank Fzort: The author of a series of belovedchildren's books set in the magical kingdom of Froon.

Thaddium Fzort was the ninth king of the EntharionDynasty, reigning from Largoneth in the years 481-545. Thaddium was also the one-time owner of theCrocodile's Tear. He came to the throne after BozboII, and was succeeded by Mumbo I.

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S. Fzortbar drew the blueprints to the RockvilleEstates in the year 880 GUE.

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Gabber Tumper is a corrupt and simplified form ofDouble Fanucci, popular in taverns, and frequentlyplayed for stakes.

Galepath was one of the ancient cities united byEntharion the Wise to form the Kingdom of Quendor.Galepath is the site of Galepath University, one of theprestigious Moss-League colleges. In the fifthcentury the scholar Bizboz was on the faculty atGalepath University, and Leonardo Flathead himselfwould attend the University in the eighth century.

Judy Garlic: Star of several movie musicals,including a successful production based on L. FrankFzort's tales of the kingdom of Froon.

Glass Maze: Duncanthrax built the Glass Maze on awhim, to amuse his friends, and torture his enemies.A labyrinth of 27 cubicles, it is full of devilish pitfallsand is located underground near his castle, Egreth,just off the western branch of the Great UndergroundHighway. Since the abandonment of Egreth, the mazelies unused. It is said that there are secret controlsthat change the position of the walls, ceilings, andfloors, or that a sufficient magical force could to thesame thing, but only once, in the struggle to thwartthe demon Jeearr, has such a thing been recorded.

The entrance to the Glass Maze was a magnificentHall, graced with a wonderful statue of KingDuncanthrax himself. The base of this statue wasengraved with the words: "I, Duncanthrax, King ofQuendor and all its subjugated outlands, invite you tosample the delights of my Glass Labyrinth."

The Gloop is the chief unit of liquid measurement inthe Great Underground Empire, named for the soundthat liquid makes when being poured from a glasscontainer. The holding capacity of flasks, vials,beakers, and the like are measured in gloops.

Oddzoe Glorb III, a wealthy land baron fromMareilon, was the second husband of LucreziaFlathead. He was found dead five weeks after thewedding, his body mangled by hellhounds.

Fried Glurz is a popular and delicious dinner dish.

A Gnome is a type of dwarf who dwellsunderground, guarding its treasures. Occasionallythese gnomes were employed by agencies such as theBank of Zork, the Great Underground Highway TollSystem, and Bozbarland. Gnomes make efficientworkers, due to their stubbornness and will-power.

Goobar was a construction worker for the RockvilleEstates.

Granola Riots: The granola mines in northernAntharia once supplied seemingly limitless quantitiesof granola. Since the Granola Riots of 16 Estuary 865GUE, the causes of which are not clearly known, theoutput of the mines has fallen sharply.

The Gray Mountains refer to both a mountain rangeand a province. Lying in the far northern part of theeastlands, the Gray Mountains are a harshenvironment, but a mecca for winter sportsenthusiasts, who use the Great UndergroundHighway system to flock to the ski resort calledGrayslopes.

The Gray Mountains Province, whose capital isFrostham, is noted for several tourist attractions: thehot springs that warm the underground caverns in theregion, Grayslopes, and the frozen surfaces of LakeDinge and Mirror Lake, near a vacation chaletdesigned by Frank Lloyd Flathead. The 18,370inhabitants of the province are ruled from Frosthamby a tyrannical governor who is chosen once a monthby lottery. At 13,441 square bloits, the GrayMountains Province is larger than Antharia andBorphee Provinces put together.

The "Fire and Ice Province" has chosen the FrobizzanMoss for its official flower, and its motto, "Mekiezimbuz," translates to "Maybe tomorrow."

Great Sea: Please see the entry on the FlatheadOcean.

The Great Underground Empire: Formerly knownas Quendor, the Great Underground Empire reachedits height under King Duncanthrax, began decliningunder the excessive rule of Dimwit Flathead, andfinally fell in 883 GUE. The area is now called theLand of Frobozz, after its largest province.

Many centuries ago Entharion the Wise united thewarring city-states of Galepath and Mareilon,forming the Kingdom of Quendor. As the first kingof a long dynasty, Entharion ruled from CastleLargoneth over a kingdom which was little more thanwhat is currently the province of Frobozz. Our

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current calendar dates from the first year ofEntharion's reign.

Little is known about the early years of the kindgom,save that it was ruled by a string of obscure rulerswho did little to merit history's recognition.Eventually the war-like nature of the early city-stateswas forgotten, and they all united for good under thebrown and gold flag of Quendor.

Centuries later, in 659, the kingdom of Quendor wasstill relatively small, encompassing seven-and-a-halfprovinces on the western shore of the Great Sea, anagrarian land whose major products were rope andmosquito netting. It was the thirty-first year of thereign of Zilbo III, the last king of the EntharionDynasty, which abruptly came to an end with theascension of Duncathrax to the throne of Quendor onthe final day of 659.

After removing Zilbo, Duncanthrax quicklydeveloped a reputation for cruelty, bloodthirstinessand aggressiveness, thus earning himself thenickname "The Bellicose King." He raised atremendous army and began a systematic conquest ofthe neighboring kingdoms. Within three years,Duncanthrax ruled an empire that controlled virtuallyall the land between the Great Sea and the KovalliDesert. It was during this period that the new kingmoved the seat of power from Largoneth to Egreth.

In 665, the forces of Duncanthrax vanquished theAntharian Armada at the famous battle of FortGriffspotter. The island-nation of Antharia was, at thetime, the world's premier sea power, and this victorygave Duncanthrax undisputed control of the GreatSea and put the superb ship-building facilities ofAntharia at his disposal. After this stunning victory,the Bellicose King turned his attention to the vastdomain of the Eastlands. In 666 he swept across theterritory with a large invading force, dealing thenatives a key defeat with the Diablo Massacre at theZorbel Pass.

As he absorbed the new territory into the kingdom,Duncanthrax made a startling discovery: hugecaverns and tunnels existed in the Eastlands. Theseunderground realms inspired Duncanthrax'simagination; he soon realized that by burrowing intothe ground he could increase the size of his empirefivefold or even tenfold! He put this plan into motionin 668 with the creation of the Frobozz MagicConstruction Company. The natural caverns in theeastern lands were expanded tremendously, and newcaverns and passages were dug in the western lands,chiefly in the vicinity of Duncanthrax's castle, Egreth.

By the time of his death in 688, Duncanthrax ruledvirtually all territory in the known world, above andbelow ground.

After Duncanthrax, the throne was occupied by along series of his descendants. These wereunspectacular rulers, who took on the surnameFlathead, for obscure reasons not necessarily relatedto the planar shape of their pates. During this periodthere was very little change in the Empire, as theconquered kingdoms were assimilated into Quendorand the frantic pace of tunneling gradually abated.

The beginning of the end for the immense kingdomcame during the reign of Lord Dimwit Flatheadduring the eighth century. During his colorful reign,Dimwit became the first to call Quendor "The GreatUnderground Empire," a designation now popularlypreferred to Quendor. He also renamed the Great Sea"the Flathead Ocean." Preferring the Eastlands, hemoved the Empire's capital to Egreth (in theWestlands) to Flatheadia (in the Eastlands). In a rawact of excessiveness, Dimwit ordered the constructionof a nine-bloit-high statue of himself, an act thatangered the powerful mage Megaboz, and eventuallyled to the destruction of his empire. (Please see theentries on Lord Dimwit Flathead and Megaboz.)

The rulers following Dimwit did their best to upholdhis tradition of excessiveness. The high level oftaxation continued, although the money wasincreasingly spent not on massive constructionprojects but on extravagant parties and long vacationtrips for members of the Royal Family.

During the feeble-minded reign of Wurb Flathead in883, after countless years of decadence andovertaxation, the Great Underground Empire wasdestroyed by the great Curse of Megaboz. Theunderground caverns fell into disuse, coming underthe power of the first Dungeon Master; the RoyalTreasury was sacked, and everyone movedsomewhere else.

The Great Underground Highway is a system oftoll roads stretching throughout both the Eastland andWestland provinces. The standard Highway toll isone zorkmid, but tolls can run as high as Zm 3depending on your point of departure. Toll gates areusually manned by hired gnomes. To date at leastfour branches of the GUH are known to exist:Number 2, near Egreth, goes from Bozbarland to theGlass Maze; Number 90 runs from the White CliffsBeach to Port Foozle; Number 95 spans an immensedistance from Flatheadia to Fublio Valley; and one

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branch even extends all the way to the GrayMountains.

Great Void: The infinite empty space that surroundsthe world. It is one of the major tenets of Brog-moidism that the Great Brogmoid "saveth us fromplunging into the Great Void." One of the majordiscoveries of the year 883 was the fact that the GreatVoid is not entirely empty. Other worlds do indeedexist below and above this one, supported by apresumably infinite string of Brogmoids. Those whohave attempted to jump off the bottom of the worldhave reportedly fallen to a new, wondrous worldwhere purple forests surround lakes of molten rock,volcanoes belch green-blue smoke into the sky, andenormous slug-shaped creatures, a bloit long, engagein fierce combat. This other world is most likely thesame bizarre place visited by the Head of the Circleof Enchanters. In the year 966 he found a strangeenviron filled with living rocks that devoured metalfor nourishment.

Great White Jellyfish: This incredible monster wasthe nemesis of John Paul Flathead, and wasresponsible for his death near Grubbo-by-the-Sea in789 GUE.

Grope is the Mayor of the City of Froon.

A Grouper is a large fish found in warm seas such asthe Flathead Ocean. Groupers will willingly eatalmost anything. One obscure fact of vague historicalinterest is that John Paul Flathead set a record for themost circumnavigations of Antharia on a raft towedby groupers. Of slightly more importance is the factthat a grouper nest on the bed of the Flathead Oceanwas a hiding place for one of the Cubes ofFoundation.

Grubbo-by-the-Sea is a village on the coast of theWestlands, near Gurth, Mithicus and Mizniaprovinces. The Broken Lantern, a pub in Grubbo, isnoted for its fine parrot stew and morgia root pie,along with other local delicacies. Grubbo isessentially a decrepit village, inhabited by banditsand swarming with rat-ants and discipline crabs.However, when the Coconut of Quendor wasdiscovered in 966, Grubbo was the departure pointfor a vessel carrying the Coconut to its gloriousdestiny.

The Grue is a sinister, lurking presence in the darkplaces of the earth. Its favorite diet is eitheradventurers or enchanters, but its insatiable appetiteis tempered by its horrible fear of light. No grueshave ever been seen by the light of day, and only a

few have been observed in their underground lairs.Of those who have seen grues, few ever survivedtheir fearsome jaws to tell the tale. Grues have sharpclaws and fangs, and an uncontrollable tendency toslaver and gurgle. They are certainly the most evil-tempered of all creatures; to say they are touchy is adangerous understatement. "Sour as a grue" is acommon expression, even among themselves.

In former days it was believed that all grues wereeradicated from the face of the world during the timeof Entharion, many by his own hand, and hislegendary blade Grueslayer. It is now known thatuncountable hordes of grues escaped the blade ofEntharion and lurked in the bottomless pits of theunderground, until they were accidentally released in883 by a peasant who would eventually become thefirst Dungeon Master. At this time the grues quicklyspread to every part of the Great UndergroundEmpire, including passages underneath Festeron,Antharia. It is there that a Festeron postal workerstumbled into the nesting place of a family of grues.A close call on the part of this postal workerdemonstrated that only the mother-instincts of afemale grue are strong enough to overcome a grue'sfear of light.

Grues play a minor role in the tale of the demonJeearr. During his control of the area surroundingEgreth Castle, Jeearr was using infernal machines tobreed mutated grues that were not afraid of light.Luckily for mankind, these grues were never releasedinto the world at large.

An interesting historical footnote concerning grues isthe fact that one grue lair was, for many eons, theresting place of one of the Cubes of Foundation. Inorder to recover this cube, in 966 the Head of theCircle of Enchanters was forced to temporarily turnhimself into a grue as a part of a quest that wouldeventually result in the end of the Age of Magic.

Grueslayer was the legendary blade of Entharion theWise. With this sword he single-handedly slew manyravenous grues. Although the blade itself is long lost,the Sheath of Grueslayer survived at least until 966,when it was seen on sale in an Accardi weaponsshop. The Sheath, as probably with the Blade as well,had magical powers: he who wears it is blessed withwondrous powers of recuperation. If the bladeGrueslayer were to resurface, it would definitelyworth at least half the wealth of the kingdom ofQuendor.

Guard Lizards are creatures whose exact natureremains a mystery. They appear to be nothing more

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than the head of a lizard attached to a door, but theyare quite alive and will bite the hand of anyone whoreaches for the door they are attached to. The onlyway to pass a guard lizard is to feed it something itlikes, such as insects. It will go to sleep, and appearto be just another stuffed lizard.

The Guardians of Zork are a military order ofancient lineage.

G.U.E. Tech is the most prestigious engineeringschool in the land. Located in Borphee, the newest ofthe Moss-League Colleges produces the youngEnchanters of tomorrow. Students in the School ofEnchantment either take classes in well-knownEnchanter Hall or go through a 12 week "Learn-at-Home" course. According to recent statistics, over70% of GUE Tech graduates find careers in magic-related guilds. Many even go on to start their ownmagic companies, and have become an identifiablesubculture known as "Yuppies," or "YoungUnderground Professionals."

G.U.E. Tech's resident researchers have always beenon the cutting edge of magic technology. In 957 theuniversity's Spell Science Lab was heavily involvedin research with highly GNUSTO-receptive paperwhich it hoped would be sensitive enough to alloweven the most ancient and mighty spell to be copied.The results of this research were never revealed.

G.U.E. Tech is also well-known for its MDL degreein Paper Shuffling, which is advertised as a programthat could lead its graduates to really big zorkmids.

In late spring, G.U.E. Tech holds its annual SpellingBee, which is free and open to the public.

Gumboz: A very obscure hermit enchanter who livedin a small shack in Fublio Valley. Apparently he hada very sick sense of humore, as he protected hisvaluables with a spell that would cause anybodyincapable of halting the magic to starve to death.

Gurth City is the capital of Gurth Province. Nestledin between mountains, a forest, and the Fields ofFrotzen, Gurth City is noted mainly for massivemarkets, where one can find anything from spellscrolls to fish cakes stuffed with morgia root.Research has shown that the best lodging in GurthCity is at the King Zilbo Hotel.

Gurth Province, which lies to the north of Mizniaand Mithicus, is chiefly woods and farmland. TheFields of Frotzen, in central Gurth, are known as theBreadbasket of Quendor. The capital of the province

is Gurth City, home of the King Zilbo Hotel, and alocal branch of Ye Olde Magick Shoppe. This magicshop carried, at one time, one of the few remainingrelics from the city of Phee, the Hourglass of Phee,which is known to give control over time itself bymanipulating it in the proper location in Phee. Gurthis known for its fine artisans, and Gurth City is thesite of the Gurth City Crafts Fair, held every weekendduring the spring. Since the weather is absolutelywonderful most of the year, Gurth is a popularvacation spot, and in fact its nickname, along withMithicus, is the Vacation Province. Gurth andMithicus combined have a population of 2,883,190,and together encompass 21,545 suare bloits. Thesetwo provinces are governed by an informal board of13,000 citizens that meets three times each day.

The forest to the north of Gurth city is a knownhideout of hellhounds and cruel puppets, but thosewilling to brave those dangers may be able to answerone riddle, and discover the Pool of Eternal Youth.

A Guttersnipe is a dangerous bird of prey seen onlyin the marshes near Grubbo-by-the-Sea. This bird hasa needle-sharp beak that is up to a foot in length, thatit can use with deadly accuracy once it has found avictim.

Gzornenplatz, a tall, gruff man, was a member ofthe Guild of Huntsmen in 966. He gave a speech tothe Final Conclave of Enchanters detailing the failureof the FRIPPLE spell. This spell protected towns andvillages from wild beasts, but when it failed, largetroops of rat-ants encroached upon humansettlements.

H

Hades, the Land of the Dead, is the central focus ofan ancient religion deep underground in theEastlands. The tenets of this religion state thattrespassers in the temple and breakers of thecommandments will be sent to the Land of the Dead.Adventurers in the region have described Hades as adesolation, with one corner filled with a pile ofmangled bodies, the last remains of less fortunateadventurers. These lost souls cry with thousands ofvoices lamenting a hideous fate. The gateway toHades, inscribed with the words "Abandon everyhope all ye who enter here!" was once guarded byevil spirits and wraithes. However, the adventurerwho would become the Second Dungeon Master usedthe power of the local religion to call upon anunearthly force to exorcise the spirits, allowinganyone free access to the Land of the Dead.

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Helfax was a magician-philosopher, well-known forhis opinions on the Implementor legend. Heproclaimed that, "A creation of this kind is morallyand logically indefensible, and the [Implementor]theory is colossal claptrap and kludgery."

Helistar is an old and powerful member of the Circleof Enchanters. Although a skilled and experiencedmagic user, she is humorless to the point of beinggrim. Despite this personality flaw, Helistar was themost likely candidate to become the next Guildmasterof the Circle, until the Jeearr incident.

Hellhound: When you spot a hellhound, run in theother direction as fast as you can! Hellhounds arefast, fierce, and capable of devouring a human 12times their size in 3.5 seconds. They normally inhabitburnt-out or enchanted woods and rarely venturebeyond their turf, even in pursuit of prey. Hellhoundsare known to inhabit forests near Egreth and Gurth,and they are kept by the Prevaricons and Veritassi,who keep them fed with unwanted visitors. WhenFesteron was transformed into Witchville by The EvilOne, a poodle named Alexis became a ravenoushellhound.

Holnac the Cynic is the only person known todespise Dimithio of Borphee.

Saint Honko, the patron saint of people who playvery odd musical instruments, has a holiday in hishonor on 31 Mage of each year.

Hoobly was a member of the Guild of Brewers in966. He gave a speech to the Final Conclave ofEnchanters detailing the failure of the magic thatbrews beer. One of the more volatile speakers at theConclave, his pronouncement that without magicthere could be no beer gave rise to a great concern.Some present that day even went as far as to callEnchanters "traitors."

Hungus: Part sheep, part hippopotamus, the hungusbuilds its nest in jungle swamps such as the MizniaJungle and other hot, squishy places. Normally docileand eager to avoid conflict or activity of any kind, thehungus is fiercely clannish, and will instantly chargeat anything that dares to threaten its kin.

I

International Business Magic is trying to transferthe "safety net" properties of GNUSTO to a new spellthat would work on magic potions.

The Implementors are the subject of much religiousand philosophical discussion. Ancient legends tell ofthe creation of the world by these Implementors, whodirected the running of great engines which producedthis world and others strange and wondrous, as a testor puzzle for others of their kind. These legends goon to state that these beings stand ready to aid thoseentrapped within their creation. It is known that theImplementors are a race of minor deities who dwellon the Ethereal Planes of Atrii. Implementors do notdiscourage the legends that the world was created bythem as a plaything, but the idea has been hotlycriticized by the magician-philosopher Helfax, whosays "A creation of this kind is morally and logicallyindefensible, and the theory is colossal claptrap andkludgery."

Despite these remarks, worship of the Implementorshas become quite common. Four Implementors inparticular, Dave Lebling, Marc Blank, BrainMoriarty, and Steve Meretzky, also known as TheBearded Oracle of Yonkers, are all extremely well-loved by the populous. In fact, another part of thelegend calls the four Implementors mysterious magiwho live in the lands beyond the borders of theworld. All that is specifically known about thesedeities is that their ample free time is spent on costlyluncheons where gossip and sweet nectars flowfreely.

In 966 GUE it was discovered that the Implementorswere once in possession of the fabled Coconut ofQuendor, until it was stolen by an Ur-Grue. This factgives added credence to the Legend of Wishbringer,that tells of a knight slain by the Implementors insearch of that Coconut.

Infocom is a leading manufacturer of magic scrollsand potions. One of their most popular products wasthe Home Sorceror's How-To Library, Volume Oneof which was the Build-Your-Own Medieval Villageset. This set has been advertised in the PopularEnchanting magazine.

Infotaters, which popular legend says were inventedby Entharion the Wise, are the best way to store dataever discovered. Borphee Infotaters, Inc. is a chiefproducer of infotaters, including the "Field Guide tothe Creatures of Frobozz."

Inquisition: Please see the article on the Inquisitionin Appendix E on religions.

J

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J.C. Zorkmids, a shopping mall, often has salesassociated with Dimwit Flathead's birthday.

Jeearr: The ancient and evil force called Jeearr oncespread pestilence and terror across many lands. Onlythe combined magic of many kings and wizardsstopped him, even as he was preparing his finalassault. He was imprisoned in the void beyond ourworld. His jailors warned future generations that hisexile might not be permanent; this warning wasproved to be accurate when Jeearr returned to theWestlands in 957 GUE.

The first indications of Jeearr's return can be found inthe diary of the mage Belboz. He wrote in hisnotebook that the demon Jeearr's power couldendanger the Circle and possibly the entire kingdom.Without consulting any others, Belboz decided toconduct some dangerous experiments, operatingalone to shield the Circle from the perils involved.

These experiments left Belboz open to the power ofJeearr. This monstrous creature used Belboz's bodyas a host, intertwining himself throughout Belboz'smind. In visual terms Jeearr could be described as agiant spider with millions of legs, feasting on thebody and spirit of Belboz. It was in this patheticcondition that Belboz was forced by Jeearr to leavethe Council Hall in Accardi and travel to Egreth,where he would become the physical embodiment ofthe demon as he furthered his plans.

Fortunately for the world, the same Enchanter whodefeated Krill found Jeearr's lair and exorcised himfrom the body of Belboz. At this point the demonbecame a wispy translucent shape that warned theEnchanter in a deep voice of the inevitability of hisepoch of evil, a reign of terror that would last athousand thousand years. Jeearr claimed that he hadstolen all of the knowledge and secrets of Belboz andwas ready to put them to use. His plan was foiledwhen the VARDIK spell prevented him fromentering the body of the Enchanter. Without a host tofeed on, Jeearr could not survive. Thanks to thecleverness of the Enchanter, Jeearr was left withoutsuch a host, and is gone for all eternity.

Jesters employ physical, verbal, and magical tricker,usually for the entertainment of king and court in thedays of the Empire. The last Royal Jester, the favoriteof Lord Wurb Flathead, Barbazzo Fernap is nowknown to have been one of several identities assumedby the mage Megaboz to ensure the success of hisCurse to overthrow the Empire.

Jewel of Jerrimore: The legend of the accursedJewel of Jerrimore can trace its origins to the thirdcentury Before Entharion in the northlands ofFrobozz. This jewel, which in most versions of thelegend is a star sapphire, is said to have been cursedby the Mage of Jerrimore as he lay upon hisdeathbed. As he sickened, this powerful but twistedwizard became convinced that his enemies hadpoisoned him to gain possession of his greatesttreasure, the Jewel of Jerrimore. With his dyingbreath, he loosed a great and evil curse upon theJewel and all who would possess it.

After the Mage's death, each of his heirs tookpossesion of the jewel; each held it jealously,mistrusting any who might look upon it; each becameobsessed with the greed and treachery they perceivedaround them; and each came to early and horribledeaths. Thus grew the legend of the cursed Jewel.Although the legends vary, all versions say that theJewel travelled through many lands, always leaving awake of misery and death, and became lost for manyyears in an iron mine near the Flathead Fjord. Theentrance to the iron mine is marked by a warning ofinevitable death to anyone who takes the Jewel.

In the year 883 a daring adventurer entered the ironmine to take the sapphire, using it as part of acomplex plot that would eventually result in the fallof the Great Underground Empire. The final fate ofthe Jewel is not known.

K

Kaluzniacki, the inventor of the NONAV spell, wasresponsible for the modernization of navigation viamagical aids.

Kobolds are very capable fighters. If attacked, theywill fight back; if not attacked, they will fight backanyway. They look very similar to the less aggressivepaskalds, but can be easily identified because theirmiddle toe is slightly shorter than the toes that flankit. Kobolds live in small tribes in caverns or in verydark forests.

Korboz: A moderately famous hermit enchanter wholived in a hovel in Fublio Valley. Apparently Korboz'ego far excelled his reputation, as a sign outside histiny shack proclaimed: "Korboz the Magnificent."

The Kovalli Desert lies beyond the mountains thatformed the western boundary of ancient Quendor. Itis an uncrossable wasteland believed to stretch to theedge of the world.

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Krill was a powerful warlock who plotted tooverthrow the Circle of Enchanters and enslave thekingdom. He almost achieved his goal, but wasbanished to another plane of existence by a youngEnchanter in the 940s. Krill, a master magician,always wore black. His yellow eyes were the onlyvisible part of his body. He launched his evil planfrom the castle Largoneth, where he and hismisshapen followers built a huge, primitive temple toa demon. Krill would regularly engage in humansacrifice to this demon, and it is possible that thisdemon was the source of his immense powers.Whatever the source of his magic, it now seems thathe was too powerful for his own good. The mageBelboz knew that a powerful Enchanter would easilybe detected and destroyed by Krill, so the Guild ofEnchanters sent a novice to vanquish their foe. Krill,in his arrogance, overlooked the source of hiseventual downfall.

L

Lake Flathead is a large and handsome lake that liesunderground, entirely within the caverns near theformer location of the royal castle at Flatheadia. Tothe west of the lake lay the Royal Zoo; to the southwas the Great Underground Desert, to the north wasthe Frobozz Philharmonic Orchestra Hall; and to theeast was the Great Underground Savannah. The lakecould be crossed via a magnificent royal vessel thatnever left that lake.

Largoneth Castle was built by Entharion the Wiseback in the misty times at the dawn of the Kingdomof Quendor. It served as the capital of the kingdomfor the duration of the Entharion Dynasty, up to 660GUE. Located on the coast of Frobozz, at the westernshore of the Great Sea, Largoneth is near the LonelyMountain, a local village, and the Old Lingolf House.As it was the seat of power in Quendor for almostseven centuries, the Castle is full of items ofhistorical interest. It has a remarkable library andportrait gallery, and it is magically connected to otherparts of the kingdom. The dungeon at Largoneth wasthe holding place of the Unseen Terror for manyyears.

After the capital was moved to Egreth by KingDuncanthrax in 660, Largoneth stood deserted formany years, until the evil warlock Krill assumedresidence there. Krill and his minions planned to useLargoneth as a base from which to assume worldcontrol. During this period Krill made severalstructural changes in the castle and used magic to

ruin its once-beautiful appearance. Krill's controlover Largoneth ended in the tenth century, when anovice magician defeated at his stronghold in thecastle.

Lenko Cavern is located in North-South City,somewhere in the Great Underground Empire.

The Lonely Mountain is a solitary peak to the westof Largoneth Castle. It is quite tall, and its summitoften lies shrouded in low-hanging clouds. However,in olden days, mariners had named it SignalMountain, for its odd glistening white peak reflectedthe pale moonlight, providing an unmistakablelandmark on unclouded nights.

Longnir was once the Guildmaster of the Guild ofCartographers.

Lucksuckers feed on good fortune. Part physicalentity, part mental phenomenon, the sucker'sappearance is based on the laws of probability, andmay change without warning. Good luck charms arethe only effective weapons known to work againstthese creatures. Without several such charms, the beststrategy is to run!

M

Sergeant MacGuffin is the chief of the FesteronPolice. Festeron's finest is noted for his love ofchocolate and his tendency to fall asleep on duty.When Festeron was transformed to Witchville by TheEvil One, MacGuffin became the head of the dreadedBoot Patrol that arrested curfew violators.

Magicland is a leading manufacturer of magic scrollsand potions.

Marba is a port in Antharia. The 20-bloit conveyorbelt at Marba is a famous tourist attraction.

Mareilon was one of the ancient cities united byEntharion the Wise to form the Kingdom of Quendor.Mareilon was destroyed in 773 GUE when the so-called Endless Fire was started. This fire burnedMareilon for 4 weeks after a civil servant whothought he was casting ZEMDOR ("turn original intotriplicate") instead cast ZIMBOR ("turn one reallybig city into lots of tiny, little ashes"). Thedestruction of Mareilon caused Lord DimwitFlathead (the Excessive) to issue a series of 5,521edicts over the following few weeks, which had theeffect of severely limiting access to magic, andincidentally, lawyers.

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Megaboz was a mysterious, powerful wizard wholived a hermit's life in Fublio Valley. His unassumingshack was adorned with wall hangings and poems.He was one of the few enchanters whose talentmeasured up to his ego. According to one of histapestries, we should "Forget the rest; Megaboz is thebest." Megaboz and his ego wrote themselves into thehistory books in 789 GUE when he appeared in themidst of Lord Dimwit Flathead's banquet hall,surrounded by a ball of smoke. Survivors of theoccasion remember the gaunt, bearded man fuming inanger at "the statue [of Lord Dimwit] that nowdarkens [his home of] Fublio." Unaware orunimpressed with Dimwit's importance, heproclaimed that "No man, be he peasant or king,crosses Megaboz the Magnificent," and proceeded tocurse Dimwit's life, his family, and his Empire.Dimwit and his siblings all died instantaneously, butthe court magicians managed to postpone the rest ofthe Curse for 94 years.

The story of Megaboz does not end here, however.When he disappeared in a ball of fire, he wasassumed dead. It is now known that he took the guiseof a Royal Jester in the court of Wurb Flathead, 94years later, and also magically assumed the identityof the famous painter Frobesius Fublius. Oddlyenough, Megaboz, in the guise of the jester, chose toassist one of the people who attempted to halt theCurse in 883 GUE. This unnamed individual was thedescendant of a servant of Lord Dimwit who hadmanaged to come across a parchment that hinted athow to stop the Curse. The servant of Wurb Flatheadused the parchment, now a family heirloom, toattempt to halt the Curse. Megaboz, whose motivesare extremely unclear, provided assistance to thisservant, who successfully found the items necessaryto stop the Curse. However, Megaboz had the lastlaugh.

His Curse was apparently much more complicatedthan had been assumed; the Empire was destroyedanyway, and Flatheadia along with it. However,Megaboz awarded the unknown servant with half theriches of the kingdom, and awesome magical powers.This servant assumed control of the GreatUnderground Empire, and became known as theDungeon Master. To this day it is not clear whyMegaboz chose to aid someone who was attemptingto halt his Curse, nor is it known why this individualwas rewarded by Megaboz for his actions. In anycase, Megaboz was responsible for the downfall of akingdom that had survived for over 800 years, sincethe age of Entharion the Wise.

Wilbar Memboob co-authored The Granola Riotswith Gustar Woomax.

Mines of Mendon: Although the location of thesemines is a mystery, it is an Antharian legend that onebrave knight who sought the hand of PrincessMorning-Star entered the mines to slay a grue but,lost without a lamp, the knight himself was soondevoured.

Minx: Irresistably cuddle, the minx shares all themost ingratiating characteristics of kittens, koalabears, and piglets. Minxes are highly prized for theirability to find and root out chocolate truffles from theground, and will eagerly devour them if given theopportunity. It is well known that some peasanthunters in the Thriff area keep minxes as pets,although they do not always treat them as well asthey deserve.

Mirror Lake is a legendary spot in the GrayMountains that few have visited since the fall of theEmpire. While not all aspects of this frictionlessfrozen "lake" are fully known, it is believed that thelake has certain powers, not the least of which is itsability to reveal the true magical nature of certainobjects. Frank Lloyd Flathead's chalet lies some-where to the west.

Misty Island lies on a lake near the eastern coast ofAntharia, a brief trip from Festeron. Misty Island isthe site of the platypus kingdom of Anatinus, whosecastle lies nestled among the cliffs of that island.

A Mithican Chameleon's skin is said to be able toimitate any color the eye can see... and more.

Mithicus is a small, mountainous provincesandwiched between Gurth and Miznia in theWestlands. This province is well-known for its fineartisans, and is a popular vacation spot. The MithicusMountains separate Quendor from Kovalli, and arehome to a thriving settlement of platypi. Theprovinces of Gurth and Mithicus are governed jointlyfrom Gurth City by an informal board of 13,000citizens that meets three times each day to settledisputes and ratify the provincial budget. Researchhas shown that the best place for lodging in Mithicusis the No-Frill Inn.

Mithicus Province University, Babe Flathead's almamater, is probably a Moss-League college, but isbetter known for athletic prominence in the QuendorCollegiate Athletic Association.

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Miznia is a chiefly jungle province, located at thesouthern fringe of the Westlands. The capital of thisprovince is Mizniaport. A noted tourist attraction inMiznia is the Miznia Jungle Skyway. Built in 882,this skyway flies over the Miznia Jungle. This jungleis a dangerous breeding ground of hellhounds,crocodiles, and hungi. The Miznia Jungle was formany years the resting place of Y'Syska's Crocodile'sTear.

Mizniaport is the capital of Miznia Province. Nearthe Miznia Jungle and the Great Sea, Mizniaport isnoted for its fashion boutiques, a Skyway touristroute, and former unicorn stables.

Monkey Grinder: Avoid this nightmare at any cost!Spawn of a carnival necromancer, the monkeygrinder can blast minds to jelly with its powerfulSense Organ. These creatures seem to have powerfulcontrol over energy and space, allowing them tocome and go as they please. Extremely arrogant,monkey grinders will not hesitate to destroy a lowlypeasant with the help of its Sense Organ and a magichurdy-gurdy. Deceptively eloquent in both mannerand speech, these loathsome creatures actuallypossess little intelligence, and suffer an illiteracy rateof 103%. This stupidity is, in fact, their Achilles'Heel. By tricking the creature into thinking it isreceiving a gift, one could actually give it a one-wayportal to the Planes of TransInfinite Splendor,banishing it forever.

Morgia Root: It is a rare enchanter who does notcarry morgia root to gnaw on during a long journey.The mint-flavored juice improves stamina, slakesthirst, and conceals bad breath. In domesticapplications, morgia root is often baked into pies, andmakes an excellent platypus stuffing. This root growsonly in the Westlands, and specifically in theplatypus kingdom of the Mithicus Mountains. Themorgia is the official flower of Gurth and Mithicus,where a tavern in Grubbo-by-the-Sea serves exquisitemorgia root pie. An entry in an earlier edition of thisEncyclopedia describes morgia as a beautiful andexotic plant that is well-known for its susceptibilityto magic spells.

Morning-Star, according to the legend ofWishbringer, was a daughter of a peasant home onMisty Island. Queen Alexis, jealous of Morning-Star's beauty, caused her home to burn. Morning-Star's parents were killed, and she was raised asAlexis' daughter. As Morning-Star grew up, QueenAlexis vowed in secret that none could have herhand, and gave all of Morning-Star's suitors difficultLove-Quests to fulfill. After the death of six suitors,

the Edict of Alexis decreed that Morning-Star mustdie a virgin. The legend states that the heart ofMorning-Star hardened, turned to stone and becamethe magic stone Wishbringer.

Moss League: The league of distinguished collegesfor Yuppies, or Young Underground Professionals.Galepath University and GUE Tech are both MossLeague Schools.

Moss of Mareilon: First classified in 843 GUE byThwack of Mareilon, this soft, pale fungus thrives inunderground tunnels and public toilets. Whensqueezed, the moss releases an invisible cloud ofspores which improve the dexterity of laboratory ratsand certain humans. Its effects on other species isuncertain. Moss of Mareilon can be found in thecellar of the Broken Lantern in Grubbo-by-the-Sea,in the underground stomach of the Crocodile Idol,and in caverns in the Mithicus Mountains, to nameonly a few locations.

Mount Matter-Horn is described in the Legend ofWishbringer as a mountain peak close to the spirits inthe sky. A knight, seeking the hand of Morning-Star,attempted to climb the Mount to seek advice from thespirits, but instead fell to his death.

As the names of mountains are changed throughoutthe ages, it is not now specifically known which peakwas formerly known as Matter-Horn, but in recentyears scientists have speculated that this peak, asdescribed in the Legend, would be as large as MountFoobia, and is very likely the place where the GreatBrogmoid standing on our world would place hisother foot.

Froboz Mumbar is the author of the well-knownbook, The Great Underground Empire: A History,published in 896 GUE. This book is the source ofmany historical details quoted by this Encyclopedia.

Hirax Mumbleton, the Governor of Antharia, wasthe third husband of Lucrezia Flathead. He died twodays after the wedding, smothered under a ton of rawgranola.

Mumbo I was the tenth king of the EntharionDynasty. He came to the throne in 545 GUE, afterThaddium Fzort, and was succeeded by Bozbo III in569 GUE.

Mumbo II was the thirteenth king of the EntharionDynasty. He came to the throne in 619 GUE, afterBozbo IV, and was succeeded by Zilbo III in 628GUE. Mumbo II's favorite pet was a turtle.

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Mysterion the Brave was the second king of theEntharion Dynasty. He came to the throne in 41GUE, after the death of Entharion, and wassucceeded by Zylon the Aged in 55 GUE.

N

Nabiz are mostly mouth, which is mostly teeth. Theyinstinctively sense their enemy's weakest point whenattacking. Contrary to folklore, they cannot fly, butthey can leap tremendous distances. Nabiz arerepulsed by the color blue, which explains that color'spopularity in adventurers' garb.

Nate was the owner of a discount scroll houselocated at 308 Besnap Road, in Borphee. For what it'sworth, Nate's scroll house advertised in the well-known magazine Popular Enchanting in the year 957.

Lord Nimbus is mentioned in the Legend ofWishbringer as being an unsympathetic and violentGod of Rain who caused the death of one of thesuitors of Morning-Star.

North-South City is located underground nearLenko Cavern somewhere in the Great UndergroundEmpire.

Nymphs are small, spritelike creatures that areemployed for all various sorts of labor throughout theGreat Underground Empire. Many different types ofnymphs exist: guard nymphs employed atBozbarland, warning nymphs employed by certainEnchanters' Guilds, serving nymphs, and evendancing nymphs. Nymph labor is so valuable thatnymph referral services have been created to assistshort-handed employers.

O

An Ogre is a hideous giant that resides in dark cavesfilled with fur. It is known that ogres reside in theFlathead Mountains, and it is also known that someogres are acutely allergic to ragweed.

The Old Lingolf House is a monument near theLonely Mountain and Largoneth.

Orcs: Once a fearsome race of warriors, the Orcswere civilized by their fondness for magically-created computerized adventure games. Although asmall segment (the Hi-Res Orcs) enjoy graphic

adventures, the vast majority (the Orcs of Zork)prefer interactive fiction.

Orkan of Thriff was a mage with a large bear-likeappearance. He was the Guildmaster of Thriff'senchanters for several years in the tenth centuryGUE, and he was responsible for the frequent movingof the village of Thriff in order to find a morebenevolent climate for his terrible hayfever. Heaccomplished this feat by gating Thriff to anotherlocation via the Ethereal Plane of Atrii. This is onlyone example of his pride in himself and his disdainfor the commoners.

Orkan kept a diary which tells of his departure for theFinal Conclave in Borphee. His diary records hishope that Y'Gael was wrong in her belief that the Ageof Magic was ending. Eye-witnesses of the Conclavereport that Orkan was very skeptical of Y'Gael's planto store their knowledge in the Coconut of Quendor,due to the difficulties involved in actually locatingthe Coconut.

It is of slight interest to note that Orkan only usedspellbooks bound in Cheveaux Mithican leather.

Otto: Please see the entry under "Toads."

Ozmar was a renown historian who wrote a historyof magic in 821 GUE. Ozmar's words would be useda century later, in 927 GUE, by Gustar Woomax, inhis "A Brief History of Magic." For moreinformation, please see Appendix D on magic.

P

A Palimpsest is a very powerful tool of magic. Oneof the best known examples of a palimpsest, dealingwith transcendental physics, is a Scroll of Gating thattakes the caster to the Ethereal Plane of Atrii. Thispalimpsest, although not as robust as a DimensionDoor, is one of the very few known ways to contactthe Implementors, and is extremely powerful indead.

Paskalds are similar to kobolds, except they are lessaggressive and their middle toe is of equal length tothe toes that flank it.

Peggleboz, a popular game of jumping pegs, isnamed after its creator, Gustav Peggleboz (399 - 456GUE).

Peltoid Valley is the site of huge marble mines inAntharia.

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A Phase Blade is a tool useful to those who travel inthe Ethereal Plane of Atrii. This blade can be used tocut through particular routes of travel on that Plane,but in this Plane of existence a phase blade isvirtually useless, and appears as nothing more than avague outline.

The Phee River joins with the Bor River to form theBorphee River in the Westlands. At the confluence ofthe Phee and the Bor lies the ruins of the ancient city-state of Pheebor. The Phee River is spanned by oneof Zeno's magic bridges.

Pheebor: Ruins of this ancient city are still visible atthe confluence of the rivers Phee and Bor. Foundedwell over a thousand years ago, this city started outmerely as a collection of huts in a forest clearing, andgradually grew over the years until it was amagnificent city with mighty aqueducts and beautifulmarble and stone spires. The beginning of the end forthis great city-state came when a controversy arosebetween Pheebor and its sister city Borphee over thenaming of what is now called the Borphee River. Thepopulation of Pheebor reasoned that they controlledthe source of the One River, so they deserved theright to name it. Unsurprisingly, the citizens ofBorphee disagreed. About 400 years before the reignof Entharion the conflict was resolved by a massivebattle between the forces of the two cities. Pheeborwas vanquished when a young knight from Borpheebeheaded Prince Foo, Pheebor's ruler. All that is leftnow of the great city-state are ruins.

The Pheehelm once belonged to Prince Foo, ruler ofPheebor circa 400 BE. This ancient relic was lostwhen Prince Foo was killed, only to be recoveredover 1300 years later by a humble peasant. Thosewho have seen the Helm report that it is a dazzlingtreasure, so heavily crusted with jewels it is hard tosee the precious metals underneath. Wearers of thePheehelm are granted the wisdom of kings, and thepower to see the unseeable.

The Phee Hourglass is a relic of the ancient city-state that it is named after. This beautiful miniaturehourglass, wrought of brass and crystal, and filledwith fine, white sand, has been sold for 1000zorkmids, but its true value is incalculable. It wasonce thought that the Hourglass would remainforever a mystery, part of a greater, unknowableMagick. However, in the year 966 GUE a humblepeasant-turned-adventurer discovered that with theHourglass you could travel in time, back to the daysof the founding of Pheebor, and forward to the FinalConflagration.

Phlog is an alcoholic beverage frequently indulged inby enchanters in celebratory moods.

Zylo Pickthorn was an architect of the ninth century,well-known for his underground condominiumcomplexes. Pickthorn is an avid enthusiast ofjousting, chess, and tiddlywinks, and has been knownto incorporate some or all of these themes into hisdesigns.

The Plane of TransInfinite Splendor is a magicalrealm where unicorns enjoy a carefree existence freefrom the cruelty of man. The following is acompletely trivial fact related to the Planes ofSplendor: In 966 a humble peasant became the firstperson in recorded history to defeat a monkeygrinder. He did so by magically banishing the grinderto the Planes of Splendor, where the unicornspresumably kept him in captivity for all eternity.

The Platypus is a small, aquatic, intelligent, egg-laying mammal with webbed feet and a bill like aduck's. It is a well-kept secret that in two separatelocations, groups of platypi have clustered togetherinto kingdoms governed from magnificent castles.These two platypi kingdoms can be found in theMithicus Mountains, and on Misty Island in Antharia.Historical trivia tells us that these platypi played anindirect role in the respective defeats of The EvilOne, and a monstrous Ur-Grue. Generally the platypiremain separate from mankind, but occasionally aplatypus tale enters the lore of man. To this day it isnot known if the Legend of Wishbringer concernshumans or platypi.

Plumbat is the site of enormous granola smelters inAntharia near the granola mines of that island.

The Polar Gumffbeast is a creature, possiblymythical, said to live in the extreme northlands ofQuendor.

Pollibar is the prized pet parrot of Belboz, the greatmage. The parrot is a native of the jungles of Miznia,but was brought to live with Belboz in Accardi.

Popular Enchanting was the most widely circulatedmagazine among enchanters, featuring editorials,interviews, book reviews and advertisements. Themagazine's standard cost was 3 Zm, but was priced at5 Zm for sale outside of Frobozz.

Port Foozle, which lies nine bloits west ofFlatheadia, is the primary seaport of the Frigid RiverValley, and is a common departure point for ships to

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Antharia. Hard times hit Port Foozle in 883 GUEwhen the panic concerning Curse Day grew. Thewharfs and the world-famous Port Foozle Casinowere deserted. Foozle became the center of a lunaticreligious fringe called the Inquisition (See AppendixE), which understandably led to Port Foozle's declinein popularity. Incidentally, chroniclers of magicremember Foozle as the home of the Fisha wandcompany.

Potions are the most accessible form of magic for themasses, since they are simply drunk like water. Nolessons in complicated spellcasting are required.These liquids and powders are of great interest,although their limitations (you can only use themonce) have prevented them from supplanting scrollsas the primary method of magical Incantation.Discovered several years after Berzio created theGNUSTO spell, the first of these potions, whichobviates the need for food and drink, was named afterBerzio himself. A partial list of potions can be foundin Appendix D.

The Prevaricons, who dwell underground near PortFoozle, have two interesting quirks: They always lie,and they feed unwelcome visitors to ravenoushellhounds.

Priggin: A Master Bookbinder and authorized dealerof CHEVEAUX leather binding. Priggin's dealershipwas based in Miznia, and advertised in the well-known magazine Popular Enchanting, in the year957.

Psychic Storms of Gomar: The Frobozz MagicMagic Equipment Catalog refers to this unknownplace in a vague manner. The Catalog states that noteven the Psychic Storms of Gomar can deflect aFrobozzCo flying carpet from its course.

A Pterodactyl is a flying reptile having wings of skinwith a span of up to 20 feet. Sometimes these beastsare targets for archers, which is unfortunate because,as seen in 966 GUE, they can be beneficial tohumans. In that year a humble peasant found apterodactyl that could be summoned by a whistle, andwould agree to fly the peasant anywhere on three, butonly three occasions. This beast, along withpresumably its entire race, was intelligent and couldcommunicate telepathically. However, it wasincredibly afraid of wild monsters. Pterodactyl are,on the whole, rather rare. The only other knownsighting was in 883 GUE, when a pack of the beastswere seen taking nest on the top of the statue ofDimwit Flathead in Fublio Valley.

Q

Q: Temperature in the Great Underground Empire ismeasured in degrees Q. It is believed that thetemperature at which water freezes is 57 degrees Q.

Saint Quakko, the patron saint of people who aren'tsure of things, may or may not have a holiday in hishonor on 25 Jelly of each year.

Quendor: Please see the entry on the GreatUnderground Empire.

Quilbozza Beach, just south of Port Foozle, isconsidered the nicest beachfront in the Eastlands, ifnot all of Quendor.

Quizbo was a construction worker for the RockvilleEstates.

R

Ragweed is a variety of weed known to produceviolent allergic reactions in some ogres. The onlyragweed plants reported have been in the Eastlands,specifically found in Ragweed Gulch.

The Ragweed Gulch was the site of a famous battlein 789 GUE, notable for the death of T.J. "Stonewall"Flathead, when he was accidentally shot by one of hisown men on 14 Mumberbur.

Rat-ants are vicious, fierce creatures that, oddlyenough, have the characteristics of both a rat and anant. When magic began to fail in 966 packs of thesecreatures headed into human towns and villages,most notably Grubbo-by-the-Sea.

Razor Gorge is a famous chasm, spanned by aremarkable bridge, between Accardi and the localEnchanters' Guild Hall.

A Rebus is an illustration whose component picturesspell out a word or words, usually through theaddition and subtraction of sounds or letters. Themost famous creator of rebi was Frobesius Fublius,whose works were on display in Flatheadia Castle.

Red Herring: These common fish patrol the darkrecesses of freshwater pools and streams, but ahandful of granola brings them racing to the surface,a fact known by every rural schoolboy. The old adageabout red herrings being "good brain food" has noscientific basis.

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A Roc is a legendary bird of prey of tremendous sizeand strength. Rocs are known to live in the Eastlands,both underground and high in the FlatheadMountains. They are fiercely protective of theiryoung. A word to the wise: if you are captured by aroc and brought to its nest, do not threaten its egg!

Rockville Estates was an upscale housing complexplanned by the Frobozz Magic ConstructionCompany for a piece of prime cavern space on theGreat Underground Highway near Flatheadia. It wasadvertised as "The new, prestigious address for thediscriminating Young Underground Professional."Occupancy of its 64 units began in spring 881 GUE.The Rockville Estates was designed by the renownedarchitect, Zylo Pickthorn, and the Managing Foremanfor the project was Quizbo Frotzwit.

A Rooster is a common barnyard animal.

The Rose Riots of 811 GUE were the result ofrumors that the compass rose can actually control thewind. These rumors were hotly denied by the Guildof Meteorologists, who harvested the species to thebrink of extinction during these Rose Riots.

Rotgrub: Less than an inch long, the rotgrub lieswaiting in food. Once ingested, the rotgrub headsstraight for its victim's brain and begins feeding.Rotgrub death is excruciatingly painful and lastsyears before a welcome demise. They are totallyimpervious to all forms of magic, and, even worse,smell like very old cheese.

I.Q. Roundhead wrote ten volumes discussing theengravings in the caves of the Great UndergroundEmpire, and concluded only that the ancientinhabitants of those caverns were very strangepeople.

The Royal Museum, built by Lord Dimwit Flatheadin 776 GUE, and dedicated by him the followingyear, houses the crown jewels, a technology display,and a famous royal puzzle in the form of a sandstoneand marble maze. The technology display containsitems generously provided by FrobozzCo Inter-national, such as a Temporizer, Pressurizer, andRoom-Spinner. It is of slight historical interest thatthe adventurer who would eventually become thesecond Dungeon Master used the Royal Museum'sTemporizer to travel back in time to 776 GUE tosteal one of the crown jewels. This resulted in adramatic increase in security measures by DimwitFlathead. He had originally intended that the museumbe built under 2 miles of mountain and surrounded by

500 feet of steel, but had to settle for a less excessiveconstruction plan. The theft of his royal ring no doubtled to a greater eccentric excessiveness on his part.

S

Scrystone: A magical grey orb fashioned out ofblack and white hemispheres. This sphere grantsvisions of things yet to be to those who are giftedenough to understand them.

The Sea Lion is a deadly creature known to inhabitthe Sea of Mithicus.

Sea of Mithicus: This sea is known to be a greatplace to scuba dive, but at your own risk. The sealions in the area can be quite dangerous.

Sea Serpents are a rare breed of dangerous aquaticpredators. It is known that the Wizard of Frobozzactually kept a baby sea serpent as a pet.

The Shadowland, also known as the Land ofShadows, is a barren area of rolling hills, south ofFlatheadia and deep underground. It lies near thepoint where the Great Sea's eastern shore dipsunderground, and has frequent patches of quicksandas a result.

Giant Slugs are essentially immense versions of thetiny garden slugs we all know and love. One giantslug encountered in the ruins of a lighthouse nearGrubbo-by-the-Sea was as long as a human is tall.These slugs defend themselves by spraying theirattacker with vile ichors.

Snarfem, a two-player game of removing pebbles,originated in Mithicus and comes from an ancientMithican word meaning "to collect pebbles or smallstones." The purpose of snarfem is to remove thecorrect amount of pebbles during each turn that willforce the opponent to take the last pebble.

Sneffle was a member of the Guild of Bakers in 966.He gave a speech to the Final Conclave of enchantersdetailing the failure of the GLOTH spell. Sneffle,dependent on magic, was overwhelmed by theprospect of a world where the pastries have to behandmade.

A Snow Wight is a vicious monster that hides insnowdrifts waiting for a victim. Armed with long,sharp teeth and claws, a wight is quite a menace, andany poorly-equipped adventurer is advised to stay

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away from one. The only recent snow wight sightingshave been in the southern mountains near Thriff.

Spenseweed: There has been much controversyabout the true nature of this plant. "The Lore andLegends of Quendor" has this to say: "The healingvirtues of this common roadside plant are welldocumented. Although it is safe to eat, spenseweed ismost effective when applied directly to wounds as asalve." This publication also advises us to "avoid thecheap commercial preparations, which may containartificial coloring and preservatives." A plantmatching this description has been found in theWestlands, growing among the ruins of Pheebor, andnear the village of Grubbo-by-the-Sea.

However, early editions of the EncyclopediaFrobozzica call spenseweed "a deep-rooting under-water plant." Once established, it can usually only beremoved by using certain spells of wilting. The 883GUE edition of this publication stated that themisconception of spenseweed as a roadside weed isgrossly inaccurate. Spenseweed of the underwatervariety has been seen flourishing in the western edgeof the Great Sea, and in a fish tank in Flatheadia. Thetruth about spenseweed is not yet known, although itis suspected that the underwater spenseweed mightsimply be another name for the morgia plant.

Giant Spiders are dangerous creatures sometimesfound in abandoned buildings. They are identical totheir smaller cousins in every respect except for theirtendency to feed on careless peasants.

Squids are bottom-dwelling aquatic creatures.

The Stonewall was the sight of the Battle of TheStonewall in 747 GUE. According to militaryhistorians, The Stonewall was a strategically vitallocale, commanding the two most important cavernsof the Eastlands. T.J. "Stonewall" Flathead earned hisnickname and his reputation at the Battle of TheStonewall. When reports arrived that rebelliousnatives had captured The Stonewall, T.J. and hisgarrison were assigned the mission of retaking it.After a battle lasting seven weeks, during which T.J.'smen suffered a casualty rate of nearly 75%, thegarrison stormed The Stonewall.

Once in command of it, they discovered that thereports had been erroneous: The Stonewall wascompletely undefended, and the supposedlyrebellious natives were actually all vacationing in theGray Mountains. Nevertheless, T.J. Flathead's tacticsand strategies during the "battle" were considered

brilliant, and he would henceforth be known asStonewall Flathead.

Surmin: From their malodorous breath to their lice-ridden fur, surmins are utterly repulsive creatures. Ifthey get close enough, they can bore their victims todeath by reciting Greater Borphee County PenalCodes.

T

Princess Tasmania is the daughter of the platypusKing Anatinus of Misty Island. Tasmania, muchbeloved by her people, was twice rescued by a heroicemployee of the Festeron Postal Service. This hero,also responsible for the defeat of The Evil Ove, savedTasmania after she had both fallen in a pit and beencaptured by "Corky" Crisp, a henchman of The EvilOne. The story of the rescue of Tasmania will live inplatypus legend forever.

Temporal Travel Technology, though in existencefor many centuries, is still considered to beexperimental by the magic industry. Several govern-ment agencies are currently looking into its potentiallong-term effects.

As this is written, magic companies are usingtemporal travel to deliver products before they areordered, and there is also a time travel spell calledGOLMAC. Also, the ancient Hourglass of Pheeallows travel backwards and forwards in time,although only in Phee itself. It is also known thatanother hourglass of time travel is mysticallyconnected to one of the Cubes of Foundation. Thishourglass allows travel to the early days of an age-oldcastle in the Eastlands. Another time travel spell isGIRGOL, which stops time but allows the caster tomove about as normal for a brief amount of "time."

The Thaumaturgical Institute produced the firstreliable Hyperbolic Incantation Concentrator (magicwand) in 723 GUE.

Thriff: The strange wandering village of Thriff has,at one time or another, been located in most of theprovinces of the Westlands. Rumor has it that Orkan,Guildmaster of Thriff's enchanters, constantly movesthe town in an attempt to find a more benevolentclimate for his terrible hayfever. In 966 Thriff waslocated just south of the Miznia jungle, and Orkanhad recorded in his diary that he moved the village onJuly 26 by gating it through the Ethereal Plane ofAtrii, because he hated the northern climes they werein previously. Here the village probably remained

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forever, because eighteen days later the FinalConclave of enchanters, of which Orkan was one,helped to bring the Age of Magic to a close, thusputting an end to Thriff's wanderings.

Thwack of Mareilon classified the Moss ofMareilon in 843 GUE.

Toads: A race of these creatures live somewherebeyond the oceans of the world. Seafarers report thatthese toads are ugly, cantankerous, and eternallyhungry. The only specimen of these of these toadsever brought back to civilization was a pet of JohnPaul Flathead. This toad, named Otto, was not onlyugly, but bright blue and as large as a small shack. In883 Otto had the good fortune to eat the FourFantastic Flies of Famathria, the objects of utmostculinary lust among his species.

Cardinal Toolbox was the spiritual guide of theThriff religious community in the year 966 GUE. Themost important event during his time as Cardinal wasthe invasion of the Christmas tree monsters. Toolboxwent for days during this dangerous time without anysleep, leading a silent prayer vigil in hopes that themonsters would be destroyed by mightier powers.

The Tower of Bozbar, an ancient game of unknownorigin, consists of three pegs and a pile of weights.The goal is to move the pile from one peg to another,moving one weight at a time, with the constraint thatno weight can ever be placed atop a smaller weight.Many people say that the Tower of Bozbar is asuperb method of mental relaxation.

The Treaty of Znurg, signed on 5 Jam 474 GUE,ended the Zucchini Wars.

A Troll is a large, stupid monster that lives under-ground, in caves, or under bridges. One of the fewspecimens of a troll found in the wild was one thathad taken residence in the Great UndergroundEmpire in the Eastlands after the fall of the Empire.The Evil One also used a troll to guard the entranceto Witchville. Readers acquainted with the writingsof Leonardo Flathead will undoubtedly be aware ofhis major treatise proving that the world actually restson the head of an enormous troll, rather than the backof a giant turtle.

The Tunnels of Love are a favorite among theKingdom's honeymooners, located a stone's throwfrom Aragain Falls. The Tunnels are well-known fortheir vast honeycomb of passageways, and coupleshave been known to raise entire families just trying tofind their rooms. In 873, the only year on record,

rates ranged from Zm 2 for a room to Zm 10 for aHoneymoon Suite.

Turtles: In the Great Underground Empire turtlescan grow to enormous size and have incrediblelongevity. One such turtle, residing on the beach nearLargoneth, was once the favored pet of King MumboII. This turtle helped an enchanter defeat the WarlockKrill in the 940s, and was particularly proud of hisrainbowcolored shell, an enchantment cast on him inthe 860s.

The Twenty Treasures of Zork are a well-knownpart of the story of Zork. In 948 GUE a braveadventurer traveled through the tunnels of theEastland Underground, and on his way to becomingthe second Dungeon Master, one of his tasks to provehis worth was to acquire the Twenty Treasures. Thesetreasures were a jewel-encrusted egg, a clockworkcanary, a beautiful painting that was probably one ofthe lost works of Leonardo Flathead, a brass bauble, apot of gold, a platinum bar, an ivory torch, a goldcoffin, an Egyptian sceptre, a trunk of jewels, acrystal trident, a jade figurine, a sapphire bracelet, ahuge diamond, a bag of coins that were probablyzorkmids, a crystal skull, a jeweled scarab, a largeemerald, a silver chalice, and an ancient map. It is notquite clear whether the treasures were created by thefirst Dungeon Master, or were all relics of the GreatUnderground Empire.

U

Ugh: The unit of weight in the Great UndergroundEmpire. A 100-ugh weight is, for the normal person,quite heavy, and it is necessary to drop everything tocarry it.

U-Mart, a shopping mall, often has sales associatedwith Dimwit Flathead's birthday.

A Unicorn is a magical horselike animal with asingle horn in its forehead. Most unicorns have fledto the Plane of TransInfinite Splendor, where theyenjoy a carefree existence free from the cruelty ofman. The unhappy few left behind are eagerly soughtby zoos and private collectors. One such privatecollector in Mizniaport actually had his last unicornfreed by a peasant who was on a quest to recover theCoconut of Quendor.

Unicorns are sometimes used as combat mountsagainst their wills. It is also known that a royalprincess in the Eastlands of the Great Underground

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Empire was able to charm a unicorn so that she wasthe only one who could approach and ride it.

It is good luck to kiss a unicorn's horn, but woe toany fool who harms one.

The Unnatural Acts were written by King Duncan-thrax on 9 Dismembur 672 GUE. These acts providedstiff penalties for those convicted of selling"Unnatural or Supernatural substances." The moti-vation for this legislation lay in charlatans whoregularly fooled the gullible population into buyingpotions which claimed to do such things as "reversehair loss" and "draw Trebled Fromps in DoubleFanucci." The restrictions of the Unnatural Acts wereeventually loosened, allowing the foundation of thefirst chapter of the Guild of Enchanters by the greatthaumaturge Vilboz.

The Unseen Terror is a shapeless and formlessmanifestation of evil. Many centuries ago, this Terrorwas disturbed from millenia of sleep. It was sopowerful that it required the combined wisdom of allthe leading enchanters of that age to conquer it. Abook of legends found in the Largoneth Library tellshow these enchanters lured the Terror "to a recessdeep within the earth" by placing there a powerfulspell scroll. When it had reached the scroll, theenchanters trapped it there with a spell that encased itin the living rock. The Terror was so horrible thatnone would dare speak of it, and because of this,many years later this tale was considered to be quitefanciful. No other chroniclers of the age mention theTerror in any form.

However, in the 940s GUE, a novice enchanterexploring Largoneth with the intention of defeatingKrill found the location of the Terror's prisonunderneath the Largoneth dungeon. This enchantermanaged to retrieve the GUNCHO spell that hadlured the Terror underground, while still keeping theTerror entrapped. It is known that during the finalhours of the confrontation, Krill pondered the idea ofusing the Terror for his own purposes, but the plancame to naught.

Ur-Grue: Ur-grues are thought to be the shades offallen Implementors. Skilled in black sorcerory, theur-grue can envelop itself in a personal zone ofdarkness which neither lamp nor flame can penetrate.Sunlight is the only thing it fears. It is unwise even tospeak of this utterly evil entity.

What little we know about ur-grues is based on arandom encounter in the year 966. A humble peasantstumbled into the lair of this creature deep under the

Mithicus Mountains, and was able to discover that anur-grue is actually an Implementor (resemblingnothing more than an old man) who had assumedcontrol of the body of a grue, and was using it as hisguise. This particular ur-grue was noteworthy for histheft of the Coconut of Quendor from his formercompanions, the Implementors. Although his motivesare unclear, it is possible that this ur-grue hoped toseize control of the entire world.

V

The Veritassi, who dwell underground near PortFoozle, have two interesting quirks: They never lie,and they feed unwelcome visitors to ravenoushellhounds.

Vilboz a great thaumaturge, was the founder of thefirst and most famous of all Enchanters' Guilds, in thetiny hamlet of Accardi-by-the-Sea.

Violet Voss was the Curator of the Festeron FreePublic Library for several years in the tenth centuryGUE. Violet lived to see the transformation ofFesteron into Witchville by The Evil One. In fact,Violet was romantically involved with "Corky"Crisp, a servant of The Evil One.

W

The Westlands comprise those provinces which lieon the western shore of the Great Sea, such asBorphee, Gurth, Frobozz, etcetera.

The White Cliffs are remarkable underground cliffsnear the origin of the Frigid River at the FloodControl Dam #3. Next to the Cliffs is the scenicWhite Cliffs Beach. In the days of the GreatUnderground Empire, this area was home to a touristmotel called the Cliff House.

The Windcat is the fleetest land animal, and was thefavorite pet of Bozbo IV.

Wings of Icarus: The Legend of Wishbringer tells ofthese fabled wings that give the ability of flight totheir owner. The last person to fly with the Wingswas devoured by Thermofax, a dragon, and theWings have vanished.

Wishbringer: It should be made clear at the outsetthat it is not known whether the Legend ofWishbringer is a tale about humans or platypi.

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Ancient texts depict human figures, and yet the talesupposedly takes place in the Kingdom of MistyIsland, a known platypi home.

In the reign of King Anatinus of Misty Island, abeautiful peasant girl named Morning-Star was born.The legend of her beauty spread all throughout thekingdom, and Queen Alexis grew jealous. Alexiscaused the kidnapping of the beautiful child, who wasthen raised as the Princess of Misty Island. Morning-Star grew, and her beauty blossomed. At the arrivalof her seventeenth birthday, Anatinus decreed thatanyone desiring of her hand in marriage must fulfill aLove-Quest of the Queen's choosing, according to thecustom of the kingdom. Alexis, envious of the hordeof knights who descended on Morning-Star, devisedhorribly difficult quests that resulted in the death ofsix young suitors.

Alexis concluded that no one was fit to wed herdaughter, and declared, in the Edict of Alexis, thatMorning-Star must remain unmarried and virgin herentire life. The princess suffered through life as herbeauty faded away. Many kingdoms after, when thewhole incident had faded into legend, a scholarexploring Misty Island came across the tomb of theprincess. All that was left of her mortal remains washer heart, which, hard and shrunken in the grave, wasshining brightly with the stifled wishes of herlifetime.

This magic stone, said to grant seven wishes to itsbearer, passed through many hands, and eventuallycame into the possession of the proprietor ofFesteron's magic shop in the tenth century GUE. TheEvil One, desiring power over Wishbringer,magically turned the village of Festeron intoWitchville in order to capture the stone. The Festeronpostal employee who succeeded in defeating The EvilOne magically altered Wishbringer by transforming itinto one facet of a mysterious cat known as Chaos.Thus the stone Wishbringer, and all memory ofMorning-Star, passes into history.

The Wishyfoo, who live underground in the vicinityof Port Foozle, alternately tell the truth and tell a liewith every successive statement they make.Sometimes they start with a lie, sometimes with atruth, but they always alternate thereafter.

Saint Wiskus, the patron saint of all those who raisemeat animals, has a holiday in his honor on 6 Ottoburof each year. Due to a slight etymologicalmisunderstanding, the 883 edition of the FlatheadCalendar made a typographical error that is

responsible for a certain amount of popular confusionbetween Saint Wiskus and Saint Bovus.

Witchville: Please see the entry on Festeron.

The Wizard of Frobozz was once a member of theinfluential Accardi chapter of the Enchanters' Guild.This Wizard was a strange little man, usually wearinga long cloak, a high pointed hat with astrologicalsigns, and a long stringy beard. Once a court wizard,he was exiled by Dimwit Flathead after accidentallyturning Flathead's castle into a mountain of fudge.

This blunder on the part of the Wizard was probablycaused by his senility and his inability to utter a spellthat did not start with the letter F ("Fudge"). Almosttwo centuries after this incident, in the year 948, theadventurer who would eventually become the secondDungeon Master ordered a demon to kill the Wizard,thus bringing to a close the life of a confused andbefuddled soul who had confounded otheradventurers for years.

Gustar Woomax, known as the Chronicler of Magic,was the author of a great number of books in theninth and tenth centuries GUE. The fact that hisfavorite author was Bizboz probably inspired hiswriting on magic and history, which include A BriefHistory of Magic, Bizboz at Galepath, Mage versusArchmage, Revenge of the Dornbeasts, The GranolaRiots (co-authored by Wilbar Memboob), and TheCoconut of Quendor: Reality or Illusion? At least oneof these works, A Brief History of Magic, waspublished by Popular Enchanting, in the year 927GUE. (For a reprinting of this work, please seeAppendix D on magic.)

Born in Greater Borphee in 880 GUE, GustarWoomax attended G.U.E. Tech from 907 to 911GUE. His Double Fanucci handicap is 620, and hisfavorite saying is: "If history can teach us thedifference between good and bad magic, it can teachus anything."

Woomax was present at the Great Conclave ofGuildmasters in 966 GUE, when it was decided topreserve the knowledge of Magick in the Coconut ofQuendor. Despite his familiarity with Coconut lore,Woomax was skeptical of Y'Gael's plan involving theCoconut, due to the sheer improbability of the plan'ssuccess.

A Worm is a low form of ground-dwelling animallife.

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X

Y

Yellow grotch: These small creatures who prefer tolive in hayfields are one of the favorite prey of GiantCorbies.

Y'Gael was an Enchantress present at the finalConclave of Enchanters in Borphee in 966. When theGuildmaster departed on his quest, Y'Gael realizedthat the Age of Magic was coming to a close. Sheproposed storing all of the knowledge and heritage ofthe Age of Magic in the Coconut of Quendor. Whenan obscure peasant was sent to recover the Coconut,Y'Gael was able to assist the peasant in his quest byfollowing him via the Ethereal Planes of Atrii. Sheassumed the role of a shopkeeper in several cities inorder to keep track of his progress. It is nowspeculated that she might have assumed the role ofshopkeeper once before, in Festeron, Antharia, tocombat The Evil One, who might have been hersister. Once the anonymous peasant found theCoconut of Quendor, Y'Gael used her abilities toensure that, with the help of the Coconut, the Age ofMagic would never be forgotten.

Yiggam: The glassmaster of the Antharia Guild inthe year 966. A resident of the Peltoid Valley,Yiggam was commissioned by the Frobozz MagicEquipment Company to handblow beakers, tubes,and swizzle sticks.

The Yipple is a master of disguise, able to alter formto match its surroundings. If disturbed in the wild,some yipples may bite. They make wonderful pets,but should never be allowed to rest in the cookie jar ifguests are expected. Yipples are violently allergic tomany kinds of animal wastes.

Yooman, the Musician Mage, was the teacher ofDimithio of Borphee.

Y'Syska: An evil sorceress whose collection of gemsand minerals was without compare. At one time sheowned the Crocodile's Tear, which she protected byhiding it in the Miznia jungle. Survivors of the junglecame back to report that the Crocodile's Tear restedon a large idol. This idol, possibly a construction ofY'Syska, but more likely a remnant of a forgottenreligion, was in the shape of a Crocodile the size of asubway train. Anyone wishing to steal Y'Syska'sjewel would have to climb the idol without sliding

into its mouth, and becoming trapped. It is rumoredthat the same peasant who recovered the Coconut ofQuendor also successfully stole the Crocodile's Tear,but this is not a confirmed report. Y'Syska's final fatein unknown.

Z

Sybar Zeebin is the author of a history of the fall ofthe Great Underground Empire called The Dark Ageof Frobozz.

Zeke ran an underground appliance store that was anofficial outlet for all Frobozz Magic Appliances.Zeke's store was located just off Great UndergroundHighway # 2, near Egreth.

Zeno was a builder of magic bridges, who livedduring an unknown period. A moderately well-knownbridge built by Zeno is one that crosses the PheeRiver. This bridge confounds many travelers with theodd fact that when you attempt to cross it, you onlytravel half the distance you want to go, and hence younever get where you are going.

Zilbeetha: This is one of the oldest and dearestlegends in the annals of Quendor. Zilbeetha, abeautiful maiden, somehow angered an evil mage,and was placed under enchantment and turned into acrystal orb on the very day that she was to be wed.The heartbroken groom, who is always depictedholding a fragile bloom, sought help from thewizard's goodly twin. The good wizard turned thegroom to stone, that he might stay young until theday Zilbeetha was returned to him. The legend alsohas an ominous note; returning a false orb wouldresult in death.

In the year 883 this legend was revealed to be truefact, and was concluded on a happy note. Theadventurer who would eventually become the firstDungeon Master was able to find the orb of Zilbeethadeep underground in the Eastlands, and return it tothe groom's statue, near the Flathead Fjord. Theloving couple was finally reunited, and lived happilyever after.

Zilbo I was the fourth king of the Entharion Dynasty.He came to the throne in 398 GUE, after Zylon theAged, and was succeeded by Bozbo I in 423 GUE.

Zilbo II was the sixth king of the Entharion Dynasty.He came to the throne in 429 GUE, after Bozbo I,and was succeeded by Harmonious Fzort.

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Zilbo III was the fourteenth and final king of theEntharion Dynasty. He came to the throne in 628GUE, after Mumbo II, and was succeeded byDuncanthrax the Bellicose, the first king of theFlathead Dynasty, on the last day of 659 GUE. Littleis known about what became of Zilbo after 659.Some say he was killed during the palace revolt, orsimply died from too much reveling while celebratingthe upcoming New Year. There is evidence that hewas exiled to a Mithican villa, where he invented thecard game Double Fanucci.

Zorbel Pass: This wide pass through the FlatheadMountains, at the southern end of the range, connectsthe Fublio and Frigid River Valleys. The Zorbel Passwas the site of the Diablo Massacre in 666 GUE.

Zork is a classic folk myth about a treasure-huntingadventurer who became a master of magic. It hasbeen translated into novels, theatricals, giant wallmurals... almost every imaginable medium. Likemost myths, Zork has its basis in reality. In 948 anunknown adventurer near the former sight ofFlatheadia ventured underground, claimed theTwenty Treasures of Zork, defeated the Wizard ofFrobozz, and became the second Dungeon Master.

The Zorkmid was the unit of currency of the GreatUnderground Empire, and is still used in most partsof the kingdom today. The first zorkmid was mintedon Augur 16, 699 GUE, during the reign of Belwitthe Flat. This coin bore the likeness of Belwit, theyear, and the coin's value on the front, while on theback it had a picture of Egreth Castle, with the motto"In Frobs We Trust" stamped in two differentlanguages. Zorkmids of different denominations wereissued, including the 500 and 10,000 zm coins, andthe 100 zm bill. The largest issue was a 100,000 zmbill. Only one of these was ever printed, at therequest of J. Pierpont Flathead.

The Zucchini Wars, which devastated seven pro-vinces during the fifth century, were finally ended bythe Treaty of Znurg in 474 GUE.

Zurfs are a suit of cards in the game of DoubleFanucci.

Zylon the Aged was the third king of the EntharionDynasty. He ruled Quendor for the remarkably longperiod from 55 to 389 GUE.

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Appendix A - Numbering System

Today's system of numbering years started with thefirst year of Entharion's reign as king of Quendor,which marked the start of recorded history. However,legends and ancient tales lead historians to believethat highly advanced settlements existed on bothsides of the Great Sea around the fifth or sixthcentury Before Entharion, and that humanity began tomake its mark on the land as long as two millenniaago.

Appendix B - Music

Classical Music

In 732 GUE the Frobozz Philharmonic Orchestrawas formed. Because of the woeful lack of orchestralmusic in existence, the FPO usually settled forplaying baroque versions of old folk tunes andpopular dance numbers. Seven years later, the FPOperformed their first symphony. The piece wasnotable because of the age of its author, a precociouseleven-year-old named Johann Sebastian Flathead.

As the years went by, the history of the FPO, and ofclassical music itself, became more and moreentwined with the life of Johann himself. The publicattendance of the FPO mysteriously declined asJohann's symphonies increased in length. Nowconsidered to be the definitive piece in classicalmusic, his Symphony #981, the so-called InfiniteSymphony, contained over 60,000 movements; overthe course of its only performance, several membersof the orchestra retired and were replaced by theirchildren or grandchildren.

Eventually, classical music moved out of the concerthall and into nature. Johann spent his later yearscomposing music for ever more grandioseinstruments, such as his Concerto for Woodwindsand Waterfalls. Johann was killed in 789 when amishap during a rehearsal of his Minuet for Violinand Volcano. Fatalities like this probably explain thegeneral decline in popularity of classical music.

Popular Music

Popular music reached its peak during the life ofElvis Flathead. For years following his first concertin 841, fans would flock to see "the King" sway backand forth to smash hits such as "You ain't nothing buta hellhound," and "Love Is Blind."

Naturally, Elvis imitators abound, and those aspiringstars who cannot sing quite as well as Elvis did canbe found in Borphee every winter, where the hillscome alive with the sounds of the most dreadfulsingers in the Kingdom. This event, aptly named TheFrom Bad to Worst Songfest, allows those trulyterrible singers to gain recognition while vying forthe much-coveted prize of a pair of 18K goldearplugs.

The following is a list of several holiday tunes likelyto be performed during that Songfest:

- Plover the River, and Frotz the Woods - Dornbeasts Roasting on an Open Fire - Winter Bozbarland - Dwaarnyn the Dark Nosed Ur-Grue - I'm Dreaming of a Black Cavern - Good King Flathead

Appendix C - Double Fanucci

This is where our comprehension of Double Fanuccibecomes a little vague. Doing certain plays withcertain cards can either cause you to gain or losepoints, or cause your opponent to gain or lose points.Clearly, some plays are to your advantage, whileothers can be quite detrimental. Over the years,Fanucci players have developed fond names forcertain of these plays, and a few of them are listedhere. Plays that are to a player's advantage aremarked as positive, and the number represents thenumber of points that the play is worth.

Full Foozle Progression + 4 Borphee Bluff + 10 Oddzio Gambit + 10 Zibble Ploy + 10 Fublian Gambit - 11 Frotzen Ploy + 12 Accardi Variation + 15 Golden Fromp Clause - 15 Unlimited Singleton Bids + 16 Balsawood Convention + 17 Zilbo Standard + 18 Porridge Variation - 20 Unrejuvenated Slamboozle + 22 Doubleton Duck + 21 Singleton in the 3rd Frame - 22 Inside Duo-Trick + 25 Royal Bid + 28 Shy Openers - 34 Egreth Convention + 35 Grand Slam Clause + 37 Festeron Feint + 41

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Segmented Shuffle + 42 Bloodworm Defense + 54 Zilbo's Half-Renege + 56 Fanuccimeister + 60 Frotz Factor + 64 Kovalli Hustle + 78 Forborn Chisel - 79 Antharian Attack - 81 Festeron Finesse + 95

It should be pointed out that to accurately describethe conditions necessary to execute these plays iscompletely out of the question. An updated edition ofthe Fanucci rule book is quite probably larger thaneven the Unabridged Version of this Encyclopedia.For now, all we can offer the reader are a few minorpoints.

• Fanucci players at the Port Foozle Casinotypically play with the Revised Miznian Rules,7th-Level Amendments, with the followingexceptions: No side-handling after anunderfunded discard, two draws after aSkybreaker, and an extra muttonation if theconditions of Rule 17.4.1.B are met.

• Other Fanucci house rules were adopted by theFanucci Casino Rebuilding Act of 817 GUE.

• By Rules Committee Amendment #493, thegame is suspended when one player's leadexceeds 1241, and the game must be replayed inits entirety, except during a Frotz Moon or in a6-player game where at least 3 players are ofMithican ancestry.

• Professional Fanucci players make use of ahandicapping system in which the better theplayer is, the lower his handicap number.Forburn the Wily, possibly the greatest Fanucciplayer of all time, had a handicap of a mere 0.01.Because this system of handicapping runscontrary to other systems, it is believed that aplayer's handicap is the number added to hisscore at the start of the game. Thus a poor playerwith a high handicap would start off with a highscore.

• Three undertrumps after an opponent's discard ofa Trebled Fromp is an indefensible gambit, andis the only known way to win at Double Fanucci.

Appendix D - Magic

[We are grateful to Popular Enchanting for theirpermission to reprint the following A Brief History ofMagic, written in 927 by Gustar Woomax.]

The history of magic can be broken down into fourdistinct periods: the Empirical Age, the ScientificAge, the Industrial Age, and the Age of Guilds. Eachof these will be explored in some depth in order togive the reader a sense of the course of events whichhas shaped the use of magic in today's society.

The Empirical Age

Primitive cultures had naturally assumed that thedisorderly nature of our world was due to suchsupernatural causes as magic. With the founding ofthe "natural" sciences, however, nature wasincreasingly viewed as being orderly. As the sciencesprogressed, the knowledge and lore of magic largelydisappeared. As early as the 5th century GUE (GreatUnderground Empire), however, such students of themystic arts as Bizboz and Dinbar thoroughlyexamined ancient writings on the subject. Bizbozhimself wrote what became the seminal work inThaumaturgy, "On the Presence of Incredibly WeirdStuff Going On," in 473 GUE, in which he claimed tohave discovered "for-the-most-part Natural Rules" bywhich this "Weird Stuff" is ordered.

This work was ridiculed by the leading scholars ofthe time, leading to Bizboz's removal from the facultyat the Galepath University, and, eventually, to histragic suicide in 475 GUE. His work, however,encouraged others in the pursuit of magicalknowledge, with mixed results. Charlatans, claimingto have created magical potions and powders,regularly fooled the gullible population into buyingpotions which claimed to do such things as "reversehair loss" and "draw Trebled Fromps in DoubleFanucci." Such appeals to public ignorance led KingDuncanthrax in 672 GUE to write the UnnaturalActs, which provided stiff penalties for thoseconvicted of selling "Unnatural or Supernaturalsubstances."

The Scientific Age

While the charlatans were at work, serious studentstook up the cause of magic, attempting to explain thenatural world as a by-product of the interrelatedworkings of the sciences of Physics, Medicine,Chemistry, Mathematics, and Thaumaturgy. Theirsuccess in demonstarting the so-called first principlesof Thaumaturgy, namely Presence, Incantation, andUnusual Effect, led to a loosening of the UnnaturalActs to allow what became known as ScientificThaumaturgy. During this period, the first chapter ofthe Guild of Enchanters was founded at the tinyhamlet of Accardi-by-the-Sea by the greatthaumaturge, Vilboz.

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During the reign of Frobwit the Flatter (701-727GUE), the art and science of Thaumaturgy flourished.The first reliably Incantation Device, known toscholars as the Hyperbolic Incantation Concentrator,was produced at the Thaumaturgical Institute in 723GUE. The long, thin, portable device, nicknamed the"magic wand" by the lay press, became an instantsensation among the populace, and gained a certainmeasure of respect for the fledging science.

A major advance in Thaumaturgy occurred whenDavmar, working in newly-crowned KingMumberthrax Flathead's laboratory, discovered ameans by which Incantation could be stored onspecial Presence-imbued paper. These so-calledscrolls were found, however, to be destroyed duringthe spells' Incantation. Nonetheless, scrolls soonreplaced the temperamental and poorly-understood"wand" as the primary means of Incantation.

The problem of imbuing Presence became a deterrentto the rapid growth of magical science. The creationof a single powerful scroll could take literally monthsfor even the most creative and productive thau-maturge. This roadblock prevented the widespreaduse of magic for generations.

The Industrial Age

The Industrial Age dawned in 769 GUE with adiscovery by a little-known thaumaturge namedBerzio. Berzio, working for years in his own self-made workshop and often going for days withoutfood, drink, or sleep, created the means by whichPresence could be transferred from a scroll to aspecially impregnated paper by use of a simple spell,which he named after his dog, Gnusto. This paper, inturn, held the Presence even after the Incantation hadbeen finished, solving the major problem in spellproduction. The euphoria which greeted thisdiscovery was tempered by the finding that verypowerful spells could not be transferred in this way.Nevertheless, spell "books," which were capable ofholding dozens of spells, were produced in greatnumber, leading to the founding of a new industry.

Another advance in Thaumaturgy occurred with thefinding that certain liquids and powders could beimbued with the magical Presence. Such potions areof great interest, although their limitations haveprevented them from supplanting scrolls as theprimary method of Incantation. The first of thesepotions, which obviates the need for food and drink,was given the name BERZIO, in honor of the greatthaumaturge.

The Age of Guilds

As the use of magic became more prevalent, so didthe problems inherent in its use. Since magic hadbecome available to people in all professions,conflicts arose. One famous issue involved thequestion of whether the plumber's FIZMO spell("cause stopped-up pipes to unclog") could be sold asa digestive aid by physicians. The issue came to ahead in the aftermath of the Endless Fire of 773GUE, so named because it burned for 4 weeks afterdestroying the city of Mareilon. It was later found tohave been started by a civil servant who thought hewas casting the ZEMDOR spell ("turn original intotriplicate") but who, instead, cast the ZIMBOR spell("turn one really big city into lots of tiny, littleashes").

This led Lord Dimwit Flathead (the Excessive) toissue a series of 5,521 edicts over the following fewweeks, which had the effect of severely limitingaccess to magic (and, incidentally, lawyers).Henceforth, all magic was entrusted to the variousGuilds of Enchanters, which by now existed in manysmall communities. Each Guild, whose elderscomprised the so-called Circle of Enchanters, wasempowered to form schools for the training of newEnchanters. This official sanctioning of the Guildsled to the formation of numerous other chapters, withmembership in the various Guilds in excess of 2,000by the year 800 GUE. Despite the fall of the GreatUnderground Empire in 883 under the feeble-mindedreign of Wurb Flathead, the Guild of Enchantersremains virtually unchanged in character today.

Today's Enchanter

Since the fall of the Empire, magic has again becomea mysterious art, practiced primarily by trainedSorcerers, although a few spells, such as UMBOZ("obviate need for dusting") and NERZO ("balancecheckbook"), have been approved for over-the-counter sale. Upon graduation from an accreditedThaumaturgical College, an Enchanter is given aspell book with a few spells, none of which has greatpower. As an Enchanter continued his or her studies,new spells may be obtained; these may be copied intoa spell book for use whenever the occasion warrants.

The Enchanter's job is not as easy as is commonlythought. An Enchanter must memorize a spell writtenin a spell book before casting it. (Spells on scrollsand those which have been permanently etched in thememory by training needn't be memorized.)Moreover, if an Enchanter needs to use a particular

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spell twice, it must be memorized twice, since theeffort of casting it makes it a jumble in one'smemory. In fact, even a night's sleep will make anEnchanter forget any memorized spells. But, in spiteof the rigors of spell casting, the personal rewards aregreat, and the job of Enchanter remains a popular andwell-respected vocation.

An Afterthought

The most fitting words regarding the history of magicwere written over a century ago by the renownedhistorian Ozmar in 821 GUE. He wrote: "The greatestirony is this: that the ancients of our kind were nearerto knowing the truth about Science than those whocalled themselves Scientists. Science has taught usmuch and given us new words for old mysteries. Butbeneath these words are mysteries, and beneath themmore mysteries. The pursuit of Magic has given thesemysteries meaning and provided for our people greatbenefits unrealized as yet by Science. One day,perhaps, a great union will be formed between Magicand Science, and the final mysteries will be solved."

Ozmar's optimistic predictions will not be realized inour time. In 966 GUE, the Age of Magic came to asudden and unexpected demise. At the climax of anintense struggle against an evil "twin", the Head ofthe Circle of Enchanters was forced to permanentlyalter/destroy the Cubes of Foundation upon which theforce of Magic depended. The Age of Magic came toa close, and the reign of Science began. However, theknowledge of magic was not lost forever. In the FinalConclave of Enchanters, Y'Gael was able to use theCoconut of Quendor to store the sum total of theknowledge of the Age of Magic. It is hoped that theCoconut, impervious to the passage of time, willoutlast the Age of Science and survive to an agewhen Magic can thrive again.

For a more complete understanding of the eventsleading up the end of the Age of Magic, please seethe following entries: Cubes of Foundation, Coconutof Quendor, Final Conclave, and Enchanters' Guild.

Spells and Potions

Our team of researchers has been able to compile apartial list of known magical spells and potions, listedbelow. The exact nature of many of these magicsremain unknown.

Spells

Spells marked with a * are so powerful that theycannot be GNUSTOed into a spellbook.

* aimfiz - teleport caster to someone's locationbayala - bodily deformationblorb - safelt protect a small object as though in a

strong boxblorple - explore object's mystic connectionscaskly - causes perfectioncleesh - change a creature into a small amphibianconbak - build strong bodies 12 different waysespnis - causes sleepexex - make things move with greater speedfaift - change appearance to look younger* filfre - display gratuitous fireworksfizmo - cause stopped-up pipes to unclogfoblub - glue audience to seatsfripple - erect a magic barrier around a townfrotz - cause object to give off lightfweep - turn caster into batgaspar - resurrect* girgol - stops timegloth - fold dough 83 timesgnusto - copies spells into a spellbook* golmac - travel temporallygondar - extinguish firegrigpo - ???* guncho - banish someone to another plane of

existenceimali - worsen eyesightizyuk - flyjindak - detects magickrebf - repair willful damage* kulcad - dispel a magic spelllesoch - cuase gust of windliskon - causes living things to shrinklobal - sharpen hearingmalyon - bring life to inanimate objectsmeef - wilt plantsmelbor - protect magic users from harm by evil

beingsmusdex - bodily deformationnerzo - balance checkbooknitfol - converse with beastsnonav - navigation and boat-guiding aidonkik - ???otsung - erase spell written in book with GNUSTOozmoo - circumvent deathpulver - dry liquidquelbo - ???rezrov - opens locked or enchanted objectsstegaw - turn eggs into ripe guanoswanzo - exorcise an inhabiting presencethrock - causes plants to growtinsot - freeze watertossio - turn granite to fettuciniumboz - obviate need for dustingvardik - mind shield

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vaxum - make a hostile creature your friendvezza - view futureyimfil - ???yomin - mind probe* yonk - augment the power of certain spellszifmia - magically summon a beingzemdor - turn original into triplicatezimbor - turn one really big city into lots of tiny, little

asheszooka - turn eggs into overripe cabbage

Potions

berzio - obviate need for food and drinkblort - see in dark placesfooble - increase muscular coordinationflaxo - exquisite tortureignatz - ???knalb - ???onbit - ???sirano - speak in poetryvilstu - obviate need for breathingwaldoe - ???

Appendix E - World Religions

There are many varied and unique religions in theGreat Underground Empire. Some of these areancient and obscure, while others are simply strangeand confusing. The following is a description of theknown systems of faith, followed by various ritualsof unknown origin.

Brogmoidism

The followers of the tenets of Brogmoidism believethat "Thou shalt worship the Great Brogmoid to thineutmost, for upon his shoulder rests the world -- thushe saveth us from plunging into the Great Void."Having originated sometime in the fourth century, thebelief had lost most of its adherents by the ninthcentury, when an adventurer was able to visit theunderside of the world, and actually witnessed theexistence of the Great Brogmoid. Apparently, asimilar Brogmoid stands on this world, supposedlysupporting a world above us. Unfortunately forBrogmoid faithful, the last known worship site, inFlatheadia, was destroyed in 883. Like manyreligions, Brogmoidism was exposed to muchridicule, particularly by Zorbius Blattus. For moredetails, please see the entry on Brogmoids.

The Accardi Town Temple

In the tenth century certain temples were used forprayer and certain other religious ceremonies. Allthat is known about these temples and the beliefs ofthe worshippers within is that those who intruded in asacriligious violation of the ceremonies would bekilled by priests bearing dangerous sacred ornaments.

Demonism

The followers of the evil Krill who assumed controlof Largoneth castle held religious ceremonies in ahuge primitive temple. Krill was known to use thealtar in the temple as a site for human sacrifice to ahideous statue that represents some unknown demon.

Implementors

A loyal cult has built up surrounding the ancientlegends telling of the creation of the world by theseImplementors, who supposedly created this worldand others like it as a test for others of their kind. TheImplementors, known to reside on the Ethereal Planeof Atrii, do not discourage these rumors that theworld was created by them as a plaything, but they donot seem to the overly creative types. On thecontrary, these minor deities spend all of their amplefree time on costly luncheons where gossip and sweetnectars flow freely. For more information, please seethe entry on the Implementors.

The Land of the Dead

This very strict religious sect centered near theformer location of Flatheadia possibly has its originsin a local religion already in existence beforeDuncanthrax's invasion of the Eastlands. The majortenets of this faith have been written down in a largeblack book, a sort of Bible, and engraved in the wallsof the underground caverns where worship tookplace. Followers of this religion seem to have beenvery restricted in what they were free to do. Forinstance, Commandment #12,592 strictly forbidsmerely speaking the words, "Hello Sailor."(Interestingly enough, that phrase is the motto ofAntharia. Some historians believe that Eastlandnatives, fearing Duncanthrax's Antharian-basedinvasion, wrote that particular commandment toprevent the natives from contacting the invaders.)

Punishment for this offense, and for trespassing in thetemple, the place of worship, was to be sent to theLand of the Dead for eternity. Conveniently enough,the Land of the Dead, also known as Hades, wasactually quite close to the temple itself, deepunderground. A horrible desolation filled withmangled bodies, Hades was once guarded by evil

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spirits and wraithes. A daring adventurer was able toperform a powerful ceremony involving certainnoises, lights, and prayers called upon an unearthlypower to exorcise the spirits.

Other tenets of this cult include the belief thatpraying would get rid of small insects, absent-mindedness and the picking up and dropping of smallobjects.

For more information, please see the entry on Hades.

Heaven, Saints, and Angels

If we look at several seemingly unrelated sites aroundthe world, it seems that the last few centuries of theAge of Magic might have seen the development of amonotheistic belief system.

The first indication of the existence of this religion isa fresco found in the Fenshire summer castle of theFlatheads. This fresco depicts the death ofDuncanthrax in an optimistic light: the first king ofthe Flathead Dynasty is shown rising to heavenaccompanied by a host of angels. This theme isrepeated in engravings that mark the tomb of theTwelve Flatheads.

Another aspect of this specific religion is thatparticularly holy men were elevated to the status ofSaint. Known examples are Saints Balhu, Foobus,Honko, Quakko, Bovus, and Wiskus, all patron saintsof various aspects of daily life. (See individualentries) Some of these saints were greatly admired bythe populace. Saint Foobus for instance had abeautiful shrine in his honor built deep underground.Complete with a stone statue of the saint, this shrinewas probably more than Foobus deserved.

Shrines like this were not the only site of worship forthe believers of this faith. At least two churchesexisted in the last century of the Age of Magic.However, the church in Festeron, Antharia, did nothave as faithful a congregation as the church inThriff. For example, when Thriff was threatened byChristmas Tree Monsters in 966 GUE, the churchwas filled day and night by believers engaged insilent prayer to their god.

Services at this church were performed at an altar andled by Cardinal Toolbox. The nature of the rankCardinal suggests that this religion was governed byan extensive hierarchy, with Cardinal being at orclose to the top of a pyramid of people dedicated toserving their god. It should be noted that the nature ofthis god is still not understood.

The Oracle of Bargth

Previous editions of this publication have describedthe Oracle of Bargth as a silly little legend. It is nowknown that deep underground, near the former site ofFlatheadia, lies an enormous serpent's head, with ahuge mouth hanging open in an expression ofinsatiable hungerh. The Oracle has four glowingeyes, and an enormous ruby in the center of itsforehead.

In earlier days this Oracle offered bits of wisdom tobelievers, and even today those who command thepower of Bargth can be transported to either FublioValley, Antharia, the Frigid River Delta, or the GrayMountains.

The Inquisition

The Inquisition was a crackpot religious sect thatbriefly flourished and died in 883 GUE. Centered inPort Foozle and several other sites around the world,the followers of this sect believed that the impendingdoom of the Curse of Megaboz was caused bywidespread sinning, and the only way to appease thegods was to execute every person in the Empire. Forobvious reasons, the Inquisition never enjoyed awidespread popularity. To this day it is not knownhow many people lost their lives to this horrible cult.Oddly enough, the vicious executioners in Foozle didallow the victims one final wish. If the wish could notbe granted, the person was beheaded. If the wishcould be granted, it was, and the person wassubsequently hanged.

Rodent/Serpent Worship

The ruins of an age-old castle in the Eastlands arehome to one of the strangest discoveries of our time.Deep inside this castle lies a ruined temple to aforgotten god. Black basalt pillars line the way to atall basalt idol in the form of a huge rodent. This idol,about twenty feet tall, has sharp fangs and one staringopalescent eye. Chroniclers of magic have noted thatthis crudely carved idol was the hiding place for oneof the Cubes of Foundation.

This idol might have also been the object of animalsacrifices fed to a temple snake. An interesting facetof this religion is that the temple snake was too wellfed. Its pride grew, and in declaring itself the greatestof snakes, it was forced to swallow its own tail inmimicry of the true master of serpents.

Unrelated Fragments

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There are many random relics and assorted historicalnotes that hint at the existence of complete religionsthat remain unknown to us. What follows is a list ofthese fragments.

1. The 883 GUE edition of this Encyclopedia, inthe entry on the Four Fantastic Flies ofFamathria, mentions a flyswatter as a ceremonialobject from circa 671 GUE.

2. Fublio Valley, home to dozens of enchanters, isthe site of a cairn, or rock pile, of mysteriousmagical or religious significance.

3. Lord Nimbus is the unsympathetic God of Raindescribed in the platypus Legend of Wishbringer.

4. Idolism: The Miznia Jungle in the Westlands isthe location of a stone idol, carved in the likenessof a giant crocodile. This monstrous idol isapproximately the size and shape of a subwaytrain, not counting the limbs and tail. The mawhangs wide open, its lower jaw touching theground to form an inclined walkway lined withrows of stone teeth. Attempting to traverse thiswalkway will cause the mouth to close, leavingthe victim inside the idol, without an exit. Thereare two possible explanations for the existence ofthe idol. It could have been a sacrificial tool to anancient god, or, according to an old legend, itcould have been built by the evil Y'Syska as atrap to guard the Crocodile's Tear, which restedon the idol until 966 GUE.

5. Flatheadia: None of the Flatheads wereparticularly religious, but that did not stopDimwit from building the largest chapel in all ofQuendor. Our researchers have not yet been ableto discover exactly what the faithful at thischapel were supposed to be worshipping.

6. Engravings - The peoples of the world tend to beillustrative by nature, and seem to prefer the useof art rather than writing to express ideas. Thisart takes the form of statues, frescoes, andparticularly engravings. These engravings can befound almost everywhere one chooses to look.The most famous example of wall carvings islocated underground in the Eastlands. It is therethat members of the cult of the Land of the Deadexpressed the major tenets of the cult via caveengravings. Engravings were also used to telltales, such as the carvings depicting the DungeonMaster, found near his underground realm. Thenoted scholar I. Q. Roundhead wrote tenvolumes discussing these and other caveengravings of the Great Underground Empire,and concluded only that the ancient inhabitantsof those caverns were very strange people.