Top Safety Top Safety Top Safety Concerns: Concerns: Concerns: What Parents Can What Parents Can Do To Protect Do To Protect Children and Youth Children and Youth

October 2008 Issue 2, Volume 17

The Child AdvocateThe Child Advocate

Understanding the WASL... What are Washington’s standards for student learning? What are the new graduation requirements?

This workshop does NOT include how to pre-pare for the WASLs, what questions are on the tests, or how to boost your child’s score.

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Communicating and Socializing Online 3

Preventing Identity Theft 4

Back to School Safety Reminders 5

School Violence Protection 6

Teen Safety Issues 7

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a Washington State PTA parent involvement magazine

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Call today 1-800-562-3804 to schedule your workshop!

The Child Advocate is published online every month from September through June by the Washington State PTA, 2003 65th Avenue West, Tacoma, WA 98466-6215, (253) 565-2153 or toll free: (800) 562-3804 (Statewide), Fax: (253) 565-7753, Email: wapta@wastatepta.org, Website: www.wastatepta.org. Contributors are welcome. Call the State PTA office for guidelines. Whenever PTA is used it also refers to PTSA. PTA is a registered trademark of the National Congress of Parents and Teachers.

Laura Bay, Washington State PTA President Bill Williams, Washington State PTA Executive Director

Karen Fisker-Andersen, Editor

WSPTA’s Legislative Platform for 2008-2009

Building Successful Partnerships

Hear the compelling evidence that parent involvement programs bring to schools and student learning and learn about the components of building a successful parent/family involvement program.

Call 1-800-562-3804 to schedule a workshop!

Contents

Parent to Parent:

Success for Every Child

D elegates at the Washington State PTA 30th Annual Legislative As-sembly held October 3-4, at the SeaTac Marriott Hotel selected the Washington State PTA’s top five priority issues, which make up the priority legislation platform for Washington State PTA. The top five issues include: Basic Education Funding Strengthening Math and Science Cur-

riculum and Education Washington State Assessment System

Improvements Support State Board of Education

Core 24 Framework Support Rational Approaches to

Teacher Compensation These issues will receive most of the WSPTA’s focus. After considering what needs to be next steps in moving these priority issues forward, then action is taken to accomplish this. For example, we may create a task force to help mobi-lize our members in support of this issue. We may also seek partners to work on developing legislation to be proposed.

To sign up for updates on the status of PTA supported bills, go to: http://www.wastatepta.org/Programs/Legislation/listservs/grassroots.htm.

Editor’s Note: The information in this article was edited from an online publication available through the Washington State Attor-ney General’s office. For a complete copy of this informative publi-cation go to http://www.atg.wa.gov/InternetSafety.aspx.

T he internet provides valuable opportunities for students to gain access to information like never before. By using the follow-ing guidelines when using email, a blog, or on a social networking site, you can help your young person stay safe and make good deci-sions in this media: • Maintain anonymity to protect your identity. Create a nickname.

Don’t include your real name, phone number, where you work, or detailed location information in your email address, during com-munications in chat rooms or emails, or on your social network-ing site. Don't reveal any information that gives away your age such as your birth date or year of graduation. Make sure your name is not exposed by your e-mail service on e-mail messages you send. (Your real name displays by default on many e-mail services, so whoever you e-mail can see your full name as well as your e-mail address. If this is the case, then either switch services to one that doesn't do this or inquire about how to change this.)

• Be smart about choosing pictures to display or send. Make sure your photos reflect what you want to say about yourself. Pro-

vocative pictures may attract the wrong people. Make sure that your images do not contain identifying information such as nearby landmarks or a T-shirt with your school or company logo.

• If a person becomes abusive, report it. If an individual asks you for a loan or any financial information, it is virtually always a scam and you should report it. Never share passwords, social security numbers, credit card information, and the like. If anyone (even someone you know) behaves threateningly or asks lots of personal questions, report the problem.

• Be cautious about meeting someone you know only through e-mail in person. Everything someone tells you about himself and his motivation for meeting you may be true - or completely false.

• More specific guidelines for online activities include:

Sending and receiving e-mail If you don't know the sender, delete the message; if you do

know the sender, double-check that an attachment or link is safe to open. If your friend doesn’t remember sending you the attachment, delete the message.

Don't be fooled by phishing. Be very skeptical if you receive an e-mail that looks like it is from your bank, broker, or other trusted company but asks you to verify or re-enter sensitive personal or fi-nancial information through e-mail, a website they direct you to, or a phone number they provide. It is quite likely a scam.

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Communicating and Communicating and Communicating and Socializing Online Socializing Online Socializing Online

Blogging Make sure the blogging site you use has clear privacy and secu-

rity policies, and outlines how the site will respond to reports of abuse. The site should also offer site monitors and tools to help protect your safety, such as a way to control who has permission to see your blog, the ability to block harassing users and to turn on or off comments.

Check out what your friends write about you in their blogs. They may be giving out your address or real name, indicate the school you both go to or perhaps they have a photo of you on their site with a caption indicating who you are. Any of these actions may enable someone to find you. Check the comments friends leave on your blog to make sure they don't give away personal details.

Periodically review who has access to your site and make changes if necessary. Friends change over time and once trusted peo-ple may become less trusted.

Social networking Use caution when signing up on a social networking service

Carefully consider the “questions” that sites themselves ask users to complete in the registration process. Accepting the services defaults may expose more information than you intended. Understand what is required information, and what is optional.

Legitimate advertisers pay to have their ads posted on the sites; disreputable advertisers often create fake user profiles and blog sites for their marketing campaigns. These run the gamut of legal to en-tirely illegal ‘offers’. Some splog ads appear as ‘comments’ that get spammed onto social networking sites. These may include links to offensive sites or sites that place malware on your computer.

I dentity theft is a serious crime that occurs when an individ-ual’s personal information is stolen. Eighteen to twenty-nine year-olds are particularly at risk because they are less likely to check their credit and are more likely to apply for credit cards without reading the fine print or considering the source.

Reduce the risk of identity theft

First, follow the guidelines for online communication mentioned in the previous article.

Next, everyone above the age of 14 needs to actively monitor his or her credit history. The easiest way to get these reports is through AnnualCreditReport.com, a service created by three credit institutions specifically to help consumers get free annual reports.

If your identity has been stolen, contact your bank(s) and other financial institutions immediately. Contact local law enforcement and file a report, as well as your insurance company. Freeze your credit with the three credit reporting companies.

If you are a victim of identity theft, go to the FTC’s Identity Theft website to get information about additional steps to take.

4 a Washington State PTA parent involvement magazine

Chat, discussion boards, and forums These can be a great way to share ideas and hobbies or chat

with people with similar interests that you would otherwise never meet. However, like any site where users share information, these forums can be abused for a full range of crime including data mining for criminal intent, social engineering ploys, scams, and so forth.

Online quizzes and surveys Quiz and survey companies are for-profit businesses. Because

consumer information is a commodity, you should assume that infor-mation you enter in quizzes and surveys is being sold. Some quizzes and your answers get displayed on your social networking sites, which is something to consider carefully if your site is publicly viewable as your answers may expose personal information to a criminal.

Online dating

The first rule of thumb is to trust your instincts when interact-ing with a potential date. Select your online dating service carefully. Look for an established, popular site with plenty of members and a philosophy that matches your own.

Use the e-mail system provided by the dating service rather than your own e-mail address to maintain your privacy.

Check to see if a potential date has a good reputation among other daters on the service.

Be realistic. Read the profiles of others with skepticism. As you correspond or talk on the phone, ask questions, seek direct answers, and note any inconsistencies. Look for danger signs such as a display of anger, an attempt to control you, disrespectful comments, or any physically threatening or unwelcome behavior.

Editor’s Note: The information in this article was edited from an online publication available through the Washington State Attor-ney General’s office. For a complete copy of this informative publica-tion go to http://www.atg.wa.gov/InternetSafety.aspx.

Preventing Identity Theft Preventing Identity Theft Preventing Identity Theft

W hether your students walk to school, ride the bus or ride their bicycles, they need regular reminders on how to stay safe going to and from school. Following are some tips to help you keep your kids safe. Pedestrian Safety

There should be safe walking routes already established by your children’s school. Make sure your students follow the safest route from your house to the school. If possible, coordinate the children on your block so they all walk together to and from school. It not only makes it more enjoyable for the kids, it makes it safer as well.

Remind your children to always use crosswalks and to look both directions before crossing the street—even if they have a green light to walk. Make sure your student makes eye contact with drivers who are waiting at the intersection. If the driver seems distracted or doesn’t appear to be aware that there are pedestrians present, teach your children to be patient and make sure the driver sees them.

Encourage your students to wear outer cloth-ing that is bright or has reflective markings. This helps drivers see pedestrians on those gray, rainy days when there is limited visibility.

Students should also be aware of their sur-roundings. They should never take shortcuts through alleys, parking lots or through the woods. Also encourage them to be cautious of vehicles, such as a van, that pull up and park on the street just ahead of where they are walking.

Finally, all papers need to be securely placed in book bags or backpacks, so they don’t get blown into the street and into the path of an approaching car. Bicycle Safety

If your children’s school permits students to ride their bikes to school, make sure your students know that they need to wear their helmets at all times when they are riding (not just when you are looking.)

In addition to wearing helmets, parents should establish other safety rules for their young bicyclists as well; such as: ride with traffic and take advantage of bicycle lanes or paths; know and obey the rules of the road; signal and look before turning; ride in single file lines when in a group; wear appropriate clothing and footwear; don’t ride at night; don’t ‘stunt ride’ (let go of handlebars, ride too fast, ride with two people, and do other tricks.); and don’t ride while listening with earphones.

Finally, invest in a bike that is in good working order and purchase a good stowing system that will allow your students to strap their book bags to the back of the bicycles. This will allow them to keep both hands on the handlebars and will help prevent them from losing their balance while wearing a heavy backpack.

The Child Advocate, October 2008 5

Back-to-School Safety Reminders Tips to keep your kids safer to and from school

School Bus Safety Students who ride the school bus need to pay special attention

to some specific safety rules: • While waiting for the school bus, students should remember to

arrive at the bus stop with plenty of time to spare. Instruct them to stand well away from the curb while waiting.

• When the bus arrives, riders should form a single file line, without pushing. If a student drops her backpack or other item while get-ting on or off the bus, instruct the student to tell the bus driver, so he knows the student is retrieving that item.

• Once on board, students should find their seats quickly and keep the aisles clear.

• To exit the bus, students should be reminded to use the handrail and keep any loose straps (such as drawstrings, backpack straps) tucked in so they don’t get caught in the bus door when it closes.

• To cross the street in front of the bus, instruct students walk far enough in front of the bus that they can see the driver as they cross.

• Finally, remind students of the pedestrian safety tips previously mentioned in this article to keep them safe walking to and from the bus stop.

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B ullying directly affects an estimated 30% of our children. It is by far the most prevalent form of school violence in our nation’s schools. There are many forms of bullying, including: physical bul-lying (hitting, pushing, threatening another individual with harm); relational bullying (teasing, name-calling, starting and spreading untrue rumors, intentionally isolating another individual); and cy-berbullying (sending harassing email and text messages, spreading false stories on social networking sites or chat rooms). The scars left on an individual as a result of bullying are both physical and emotional and can lead to depression and even suicide.

Even if your child has not personally been a victim of bully-ing, most children have at some point witnessed it. There are many things that parents can share with their children to empower them—whether they are victims or witnesses of bullying. How to Empower Your Student Against Bullying • The most important thing for parents to do is to help their

children minimize the risk of being bullied. Help your chil-dren understand the places where most bullying takes place—in the bathroom, in hallways when there isn’t a teacher in sight, on unsupervised areas of the playground. Teach them to stay away from the school bullies.

• Students should seek friends out for their loyalty and kind-

ness, rather than popularity and looks. Students who desire popularity are more likely to be either victimized or manipulated by relational bullying. Teach your children to not spread gossip about others and to think twice about being friends with someone who does. • Help your students develop hob-bies and interests that they enjoy. This will build your child’s sense of identity and make him more confident and less likely to be an easy target for a bully. • Teach your children the impor-tance of inclusion, tolerance, and learn-ing how to resolve their problems with-out hitting or using disrespectful lan-guage. This needs to start at home at an early age. They should not even associate with individuals who belittle others, or say or do other mean-spirited things to other students. • If your child witnesses a bullying

incident, he needs to speak up and tell the bully to stop, and then report the incident to a teacher or principal.

• If your child is a victim of a bullying incident, the best re-sponse is to ignore the bully, or to tell him to stop. He should not fight back, since many times the bully intentionally seeks his victims as children smaller and weaker than himself. Stu-dents should always report bullying to their classroom teacher (if the bullying takes place in the classroom), or school princi-pal (if the bullying takes place anywhere else.) Reporting an incident takes courage, but it’s necessary. If your child has been a victim of bullying in the past, then practice role-playing different scenarios with him to help him prepare for what he can do. Keep a written record of a bullying incident once it is reported to the school. If you see a pattern, along with an absence of improvement in the situation, you may need to take your records to the principal and insist that some action, such as removing the problem child from the school, takes place. Schools need to enforce their anti-bullying policies. Your child deserves to be safe and to feel safe at school!

• If your student suddenly is uncharacteristically apprehensive about going to school, or seems to withdraw from friends and activities, or experiences a drop in grades or shows physical signs of abuse, ask your child if he is being bullied at school. Keep the lines of communication open so he feels that he can come to you when he’s afraid.

School Violence Prevention:School Violence Prevention: What Parents Can do About BullyingWhat Parents Can do About Bullying

a Washington State PTA parent involvement magazine

Teen Safety Issues:

Peer Pressure, Dating Safety, Depression & Eating Disorders

T he pressures our teenagers face are too numerous to cover in this small article, but we’ve briefly highlighted a few problem areas that challenge many teenagers today.

To help your young person avoid some of these pitfalls, stay connected and involved in their lives. Get to know their friends and the parents of their friends. Encourage your teens to pursue possible career interests and other activities they enjoy. Compliment them when they work hard at a difficult task, when they make a good choice, and when they have acted responsibly. Prepare your teens to be assertive by allowing them to express their opinions on various topics, even if they are different than your own.

The best defense against negative pressures is for your teens to know what they believe and how they want to live their lives. Put them in control of challenges that may come by discussing with them what you believe about drugs, sex, dating, peer pressure and other important issues, and why you believe what you do.

Peer Pressure Peers can have a positive influence as well as a negative influ-

ence on teens. To minimize the amount of negative peer pressure in your children’s lives, parents can help equip them with some simple refusal skills and practice these skills with them regularly. • Encourage your teen to use you as an excuse. “No, I can’t stay

longer. If I do, my parents will ground me for a month!” • Teach your teens to stand up for what they believe. “I really like

hanging out with you, but I don’t want to do that. It doesn’t feel right to me.” This idea also works when a teen feels pressured by their peers to under-perform at school, “I don’t like to do home-work any more than you, but I really want to get good enough grades so I can go to college and be a vet someday.”

• When all else fails, then flee. If your teen continues to refuse, but that refusal isn’t being honored, then your teen needs to know that they need to leave. Let them know that they can call you and you’ll pick them up at any time.

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Dating Safety Most importantly, teens need to see their parents

displaying a healthy relationship that’s free from violence, name-calling and unrealistic expectations.

In addition to being good role models, parents need to talk to their teens about what is acceptable behavior. Hitting, pushing, slapping, yelling, name-calling and be-ing controlling are all forms of abuse.

Young people who enter relationships for the first time may not know what to do if their partner becomes abusive or is overly controlling or jealous, and may hide this from their friends and family. They may blame them-selves for the abuse, or may not even realize that they are being abused.

Help your teens understand that if they witness abuse, they should contact the police. Also, if they are a victim of abuse, you want them to come to you for help—you care for them and love them unconditionally and will not blame them for the situation they are in. Depression

With all the pressures facing our teens—conflicts with peers, difficulties with schoolwork, the stress that comes with high stakes testing, unrealistic expectations regarding their appearance or body size, and uncertainty of the future—it’s no wonder that many teens are at risk of experiencing depression.

Some signs of depression might include: A dramatic change in a teens’ mood and behavior, withdrawal from friends and family, a tendency to sleep more (or less), a decline in grades, a loss of appetite, extended periods of crying or becoming increasingly an-gry, a decline in grooming habits, headaches and stomachaches.

When your teen seems to be depressed, take time to talk to them about what’s going on in their lives that is causing them to be so sad. Let them know that you love them and that you want them to be happy again. Talk to your family doctor about what you can do to help your teenager get though this bout of depression.

Occasionally, a child may state that he wants to die, may give away prized possessions, or write a suicide note. Parents need to pay attention to these signs and get some professional help for your teen as soon as possible.

Eating Disorders Individuals with eating disorders often hide their problems

from friends and family, but by paying attention to the symptoms of these disorders, parents can be better prepared to determine if their teens have problems. Some symptoms include: • Anorexics, characterized by severely limiting their intake of

food, experience weight loss; sudden change in food habits; ob-sessively keep track of the amount of calories consumed; throw food in the trash while pretending they have eaten it; hoard and hide food; exercise excessively; weigh themselves often; spend a lot of time in the kitchen preparing food for others; withdraw from friends and social events; make excuses for not eating with the family; and sometimes use diuretics or diet pills.

• Bulimics, characterized by binging and purging, may not show extreme weight fluctuations, but may consume a lot of food at one time and hide the wrappers; use laxatives or diuretics; spend time in the bathroom vomiting immediately following meals; and are often depressed and have low self-esteem.

If you suspect your young person has an eating disorder, your child will need professional help to get better.

The Child Advocate

Washington State PTA

2003 65th Avenue West Tacoma, WA 98466-6215

VISION: “Making every child’s potential a reality.”

MISSION: PTA is:

■ A powerful voice for all children, ■ A relevant resource for families and communities, and ■ A strong advocate for the education and well-being of every child.

The Washington State PTA accomplishes the mission of PTA by ■ Speaking on behalf of children and youth in the schools, in the

community, and before governmental bodies and other organizations that make decisions affecting children;

■ Supporting parents* in developing skills to raise, protect and advocate for their children; and

■ Encouraging parent* and community involvement.

* Parent may include adults who play an important role in a child’s family life since other adults (grandparents, aunts, uncles, or guardians) may carry the primary responsibility for a child’s health, welfare, education and safety.

Website: www.wastatepta.org Email: wapta@wastatepta.org

a Washington State PTA parent involvement publication

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Phone: (253) 565-2153 or 1-800-562-3804 Fax: (253) 565-7753