THE BIG WAVE IS COMING: FINDING MYSELF IN THE CORNER OF ‘EXPERTS’Richard P. Moral, Jr.- Ph.D-Educational Management

I always allow myself to some intricate and long winding journey: a journey which is usually tricky and slippery. My dream is to become a doctor in Filipino Language, I did not imagine, never in my wild dreams to become a doctor in Educational Management. I want to be an expert in language specifically in Filipino, Philippine Literature and Language Education: these are my fuel in travelling a long distance, ambiguous dream.

In it, my passion towards writing and love of literature defines my study. I usually ‘fight’ just to cater my interest. But in every journey to become an expert, there are trials and humps that could hinder our earnest desire, our lofty aims and serene expectations.

The First Big Wave: Hindering Factor in my Dissertation One of the factors that will hinder my study is in the context of language. I can say

that I am an expert or at least good in the context of Filipino language. So I can write essentially and more expressively in Filipino rather than in English. Writing in English is burden in my part because I have only limited access or superficial interpretations of ideas written in this language. I am a product of Filipino culture with Filipino values that appreciate language into the very soul of my ideas, but this limitation will allow me to do better and persevere in this ‘elusive quest’ in language.

Last week I already bought 5 English novel books just to harness my English capacity and to elevate just a little bit. I know I can do it. I know I can.

The Second Wave: I cannot take it anymoreSecond in the list is the quality of my study. In my experience, I cannot take

mediocrity in research, I want quality, I want standard, but these thoughts really connected in my First Wave of Hindering Factor: the Language. Also, time could affect quality. As a full-fledged teachers with six loads every day plus a 6 six units part time job, time is very elusive for me. I could no longer review and read a lot because my work consumes most of my 24 hours.

I dream that I could be picked to become a school head or TIC in the remote areas or mountainous place just to practice what I have learn in the Ph.D. Really, there is a big impact in your research if you already in the position, because it follows strong linkage and connection in the higher ups.

Just Another Dream

I am now finding my place in the term ‘experts.’ The corner which I dreamed of, a dream that could elevate my name, I may not really expert in my study, a small tiny piece of my dissertation, but after all, managing the resources and looking to my inner strength, to my enormous ambitions, to my credible and outstanding teachers, to my life’s fuel, to my burning desire to write, to impart knowledge, to create change in the Department of Education, for the love of language and literature- with these driving force, I know I can. Really can!