the big sender's love

8/13/2019 The Big Sender's Love

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The Big Sender's Love

2008 Clay Gold


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The Big Senders Love

Sometimes it happens that we forget about the journey because we areoverwhelmed by the arriving.

Time and weather are with us continuously. Seconds and minutes and hours anddays and weeks dont really exist, its just that humans look for patterns ineverything and structure everything. We can run a commentary for our wholelife, in fact we do, its called thinking. We map everything. Age we are never as

young or as old as we say. We are more or less nine months older than we thinkwe are. We are an ongoing process, part of a timeless line, developing. A project.We make each other immortal. We are all the result of an act of love, a momentof delicious attraction. A gift of communication, the closest form ofcommunication availa!le !etween two humans. "hemistry. #ts all just namesand num!ers, !ut it all !egan long !efore language.

$ne successful mission among the millions attempted and failed.

The arrival can be so big, so full of its own little stories. A surprise longanticipated; a celebration and a heartache. A duality of expectation. Theadventure of the journey is gone, not as relevant and meaningful as it seemedon each passing dark or light day. The here and now is upon us. Heavily uponus.

saw your arrival through eyes blurred by the storm of labour. !ou appeared tous like a dark root dragged from a red sea, underneath, lifted, limp; thick redmud dripping from you. Andreas raised you high in near silence. Timecrashed. Then, your immature, miniature lungs filled for the first time and

your senses clicked on; you shuddered into life. A cry, a wriggle in the air and asafe landing on the island of your mother"s chest. And then those eyes.Shining pure black and white eyes, shyly opening, sensitive to the small amountof light in that darkened room. #irst light, for you. $ike an amnesiac finallyrescued from months trapped underground, in awe and also resentful of hersaviours in e%ual measures. The storm cleared.&$ook who"s here,' said, holding back tears, &look who"s come to see us.'

(obody heard me. )ama was fighting the effects of gas and air, the storm justbeginning to clear for her too. Andreas, the midwife, was busy, still in themiddle of his job. )adeleine the student was thinking about getting back tocollege and writing up what she had witnessed here. *ur friend the doctor whohad consistently refused to apply any e+ternal implement to the process of yourbirth, despite the begging from )ama, was already writing up her notes. wasoffered to cut the remaining stem, your lifeline for all those months you werecomfortably trapped. wanted to be sure that you were finished with it.veryone agreed that you were ready. So cut the cord with sharp, roundclinical scissors and you were alone, like the rest of us. Adrift. t had been a

long journey. A long and traumatic but safe arrival. And the beginning of mylife as well as yours.


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And you were not the first person had known and loved well before meetingthem for the first time. There are many journeys leading to your arrival that

would like to tell you about, beginning in -ussia and Spain twenty months andtwenty days before your birthday. )oving through Australia, /ermany,

ngland. (ot all of them physical journeys either.

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!our )ama was 12 years 3 months and 13 days old on the day you were born.She was born 45647689:5. was 59 years 7 months and 1 days. )ama"s dad was59 when she was born too. )y birthday is 176436893:. 1 7 3 8 9 3 :

the big sender's love

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