nids love big eyes

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Nids Love Big EyesNids Love Big EyesNids Love Big EyesNids Love Big Eyes

By Claire Berry

All creatures weird and wonderful, And theyre talking about us


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Chapter One

Once upon a time there was a beautiful valley where all the animals

lived together in perfect peace and harmony.

Well, almost.

Since eating was the most important activity, virtually the only activity,

killings did happen, blood was spilled. Nature red in tooth and hoof, the

animals would nod when someones daughter was despatched by a hungry

leopard. That was the way things were and everyone accepted that if you

were in the wrong place at the right time for a hungry aardvark, it was your

tough luck. If one of your kids had his head bitten off by a newt, you simply

went out and made a few more and that was that. When the lion had eaten a

lifetimes worth of zebra, he in turn was eaten by the ants, who were eaten by

the aardvark and so on and so forth. There were rules of course, everyone

made a contribution and nobody took more than his fair share, and because

they were blessed to live in the most beautiful valley in the very centre of the

universe, the animals of Giggletree counted themselves the most fortunate of

beasts and lived each day as though it were their last.

Which for many of them, it was.

It was a good life for the animals, the sun came up and the moon went

down, plants burst out and babies were born. It became hot and rained every

day and after a while it became cold and dry and there was no food. Some of

the animals died, others ate things theyd never previously thought of. Then

at last delicate green shoots burst forth, followed by the babies, and round

and round it went in an endless reassuring loop that could be counted on

never to change. Occasionally there was something unusual like snow, and


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the time the giraffe was struck by lighting, but mostly, life went on very much

as normal, whatever that was.

Then the Nids arrived.

In the beginning, there werent many of them. The animals laughed,

some even felt sorry for them. They had no fur to keep them warm, except a

tiny patch on the head. Some were a sensible mahogany colour suited to the

scorching sun, while others were pale and pink. They were absolutely

useless at defending themselves. They had no hide,fur or carapace and

worse than that, no claws to speak of although some of the females had

talons with berry-red tips. Their bones were pliable and chewy and they

tasted a bit like chicken. Strangest of all, their teeth were hidden inside their

mouths, and from time to time they would bare them at each other and not

even fight. They were delicate and hapless and they succumbed to the

mosquitoes without a fight.

All the animals agreed that the Nids werent real animals although they

resembled the monkeys to an extraordinary degree. The monkeys were

anxious to retain their reputation and refused to believe they were even part of

the same genus, although all the evidence was there, two legs, head looking

forward, arms dangling.

Youre all related, said Uncle Lemon decisively in an attempt to put to

end to a squabble between the bush babies and gibbons that threatened to

turn ugly. Bush babies are prosimians, which means youre primates, but not

Nids. Gibbons are technically hominids of the lesser variety and you

baboons, Im afraid to say are definitely hominids. Youre all related, look at

your thumbs!


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Were not Nids, the baboons insisted, sitting on their hands.

Some of the animals were curious, friendly, hungry, foolhardy, they

looked through the windows of the Nids shelters. Lured by exotic smells they

nosed their way through the doors. When they got too close, a banga

sounded, loud enough to send an owl spinning into orbit. A while later, they

would fall over with a sigh, tongues dangling. The Nids took their bodies and

cut them open, tore off the skin and hung it up to dry. Sometimes they used

the skin to cover their own soft, defenceless hides or used them as floor

coverings for their homes. Sometimes they killed things and didnt even eat

them, and the body of someones mother was buzzed for days by vultures

and flies, until the ants carried it away and only bones were left. It was

barbaric, and nobody knew why it was happening, but everybody hoped it

would soon be over, that things would go back to normal.

Whatever that was.

Not all of the animals remembered the way things were, some had

only been born an hour or a day ago, but there was a general feeling that

things were better in the past and even better in the very distant past and that

the best times of all were when the world began.

Opposable thumbs, Uncle Lemon said. Thats our problem. Our

thumbs are fantastic for stripping the soft leaves off a branch or emptying a

tasty pumpkin, but not much use for anything else.

Who knew that thumbs would make such a difference? Who knew

that things would never be the same again?

XXX


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From the depths of the desert where gemsbok trudged across searing

sand, a spring bubbled up from a long dry riverbed and trickled feebly through

a sandblasted landscape of camel thorn and euphorbia, butter tree, and

butternut. The trickle of water met a fellow trickle and over the miles the

thousand trickles became a river that meandered and dawdled and dallied

until the ground began its long slow slope towards the sea, picking up speed,

swirling and foaming and boiling over boulders and rocks. Up and over it

went, eddying into a gorge ringed with corkwood and jackalberry, twittering

with butterflies, cackling with loeries and heaving with lichens and orchids.

The gentle green landscape of love grass and milkwood calmed the

river and with one last flirtation of a waterfall, it flowed into a basin, which

thousands of animal feet had stamped deep and wide over the years. From

this monstrous bath dish, it trickled out into the savannah, a thousand trickles

ribboning the horizon.

One day, Uncle Lemon reclined on a branch in his favourite fever tree,

sunning himself, feeling the warmth seep through his chromatophones,

stirring up his melanophores, melting his bones like honey from a hive. It was

a day as perfect as it was possible to be, the sun glowed and there was just

enough of a breeze across the river to cool his belly, which was comfortably

distended by the juicy grasshopper hed just finished. He felt slightly guilty

about eating the whole thing, hed meant to take just a bite and leave the rest

for later, but it was such a lovely day with the dappled light on the leaves, the

flurry of white butterflies and heaving of insects on the mossy forest floor. The

whole universe vibrated with thrumming, buzzing life.


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Suddenly he realised the thrumming was not the universe at all, but

something else, the quivering quaking, clanking of a monstrous vibrating

machine, rumbling over the rocks and crashing through trees. A massive

something darted through the trees, moving faster than any living creature

could imagine, a creature the size of an elephant, with no trunk, or legs or

even ears for that matte. Apart from the noise, there was the smell, even at a

distance it make the nose sting. A flock of weavers rose like a cloud from

their vast nest as the creature roared past the Big Baobab, sending springbok

skittering giddily into the bushes. It seemed to be heading along the river to

the waterhole where a few drowsy wildebeest raised their heads, beards

dripping. The creature slowed before the steep slope of the basin and

shuddered to a stop with a venomous hiss. An arm swung out, and the

strangest pink ape-like thing climbed out and jumped to the ground. Uncle

Lemon rubbed his eyes, perhaps he should not have eaten the grasshopper

after snacking on termites all morning. He blinked hard, he was surely seeing

things. There had never been Nids in the valley, one had heard the stories of

course, mostly wild rumour and innuendo, but here they were climbing out of

their horrible machine and standing around, making noises to each other,

baring their teeth and not even fighting.

One of the Nids, a very round, well-fed Nid, made a loud Nid noise and

they began to scurry around like ants before a storm, zithering this way and

that, fetching poles and planks from the creature, carrying them with their

opposable thumbs and dropping them on the ground underneath a huge

syringa tree. Uncle Lemon feared for the Nids if they dared to touch that tree,

it wasnt just any old syringa, it was The Syringa, the biggest syringa for miles


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around. It was Ingwe the leopards favourite tree, her home, her castle. She

was away in the Blue Mountains, hunting for donkeys, and had said she

would be gone for some time, which could mean anything from ten sunup-

downs to a whole summer. She always came back, Ingwe was indestructible.

The Nids were obviously not too bright, they seemed inordinately

interested in the tree, they touched it, looked up into its branches. One of

them picked up a branch of some sort that began a tremendous buzzing noise

that jangled the nerves. The Nid held the instrument against one of the

branches, and it fell to the ground as thought by some strange magic.

Uncle Lemon lurched into action. His eyes, like everything about him,

werent what they were and he hoped fervently that he really was seeing

things. He shimmied down the tree, which in chameleon terms meant two

steps forward, one step back, hand over hand, limbs creaking, vacillating over

every stilted step. The fastest he could go was a short scurry on flat ground

and it annoyed him that while the mind could soar like an eagle, the body

could do little but inch past the tortoise, who was also on his way to see what

the noise was all about. And not only was the mind yoked to the body, but

instinct trumped urgency, he paused to snap up a juicy fly, before hauling

himself painstakingly onto the Big Rock.

Kitiki, the meerkat, was already there with her little brother clinging to

her legs. The waterhole was deserted, animals huddled in the bushes and

watched as the Nid sliced through the tree like a hornbill through a banana.

The branches tumbled to the ground with a sickening crash, letting in a

stream of sunlight that made the crocodiles blink. Nobody knew what to think.

I cant look, Kitiki said, putting her hands over her eyes.


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I dont want to be here when Ingwe gets back, said Kitiki. That trees

been in her family for generations. Someone needs to tell her, someone has

to go and find her, prepare her gently, you know. Its such a shock to lose

your home like that.

She hoped Uncle Lemon would ask for a volunteer so that she could

go on her big adventure, the one she was so anxious to experience before it

was too late. Shed heard all about the Blue Mountains, they were full of Nids

in bright clothes sliding over very cold ice with long shoes tied to their feet,

going nowhere in particular. According to Ingwe, they climbed up the highest

peak, slid down and climbed up again, slid down and climbed up again, all

day long, up and down going nowhere. Mighty strange, the animals thought,

but they had long since given up trying to figure out what the Nids with their

extraordinary thumbs were up to.

Marilyn appeared from the shadows like a phantom. Shes my

mother, Ill find her.

Nobody has to go, Uncle Lemon insisted, she always comes back,

nobody has to go.

Marilyn pretended not to hear, and as he watched her spotty rump slink

into the bushes he wondered what use it was to be the Leader when nobody

listened, and saying something twice was no use at all.

Since none of the animals had a sensible Plan B at hand, the most

they could do was closely monitor any other dcor changes the Nids might

have in mind.

Days went by, and still Ingwe did not return. The animals were kept

awake day and night with the banging and hammering of the Nids and the


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infernal buzzing of the tree slicer. Their noxious elephant went up and down

the hills, fetching sticks to build their shelter. It wasnt any ordinary shelter like

the monkeys would build, it was bigger than anything they had ever seen, with

a platform all the way around and a long walkway of wood that led to another

platform which stretched out, oh horrors over the watering hole, where the

animals went to mingle and chat, and for some of the more sneaky ones,

snatch a meal.

The noise and lack of sleep made the animals snappish and irritable.

The nocturnals foraged bleary-eyed during the heat of the day and were

picked off like plums by the cheetah. The bush babies woke up ten times a

day, taking off expectantly through the trees before they realised the sun was

still up. It played havoc with the digestion, and worse than that was the arrival

of a number of new animals to the territory, refugees displaced by the Nids

activities. The Eastern lions were forced to move into Big Willies territory and

a vicious fight was as sure at nuts were delicious. Nobody was in the mood

for the usual levity and jollity, and with no opposable thumbs and in some

cases no thumbs at all, the animals were powerless to do anything but watch

and wait.

One day, Jane, decided to lighten things up and have a little fun with

the Nids. She was once was a pet in a Nid house, shed eaten Nid food and

been dressed in Nid skins by small Nid children before she made herself so

objectionable theyd dumped her on the side of the road. Jane was an

invaluable fount of wisdom on Nid related oddities. Some of the things she

said were so outlandish, so impossible to reconcile with logic and reason that


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the animals listened politely, their heads reeling. Shed thought up most of

their names and was universally considered an expert on all of Nid.

She didnt seem the least bit frightened of them, she swung languidly

from tree to tree right at the edge of where the Nids were banging and

hammering, and as she reached the last of the trees, pretended to lose her

grip and she scrambled and somersaulted through the branches before

landing on her feet in front of them with a flourish. To the surprise of the

animals watching, the Nids didnt pick up the banga sticks and blast a red

flower in her chest. They put their hands on their hips and moved their

shoulders around, baring their teeth, without fighting.

Jane made the most of it, swinging up and down on the platform,

pulling faces and making rude noises with parts of her body. Astonishingly,

the Nids did nothing but bare their teeth and not fight. One of them held a

small black box to his face, which made the clicking sound of a cricket.

Someone threw a banana at her, she caught it expertly and scuttled into the

bushes to eat it in private.

Her antics succeeded in restoring some of the humour in the valley but,

on balance, they were not happy, not happy at all. Uncle Lemon was

continually pressed to hold gatherings for some special interest group or the

other, all complaining bitterly.

They can see my babies bathing, griped the hippo. All our privacy is

gone.

I have to go all the way around the acacia trees to get to my cousin

Freds place, Handbag the rhino grumbled. My bunions have been

particularly troublesome and this Nid home is right in the middle of my


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favourite shortcut. The other path is full of pebbles and my shins are full of

cuts and scratches, not to mention the flies.

You can mention flies, said Uncle Lemon, flicking his tongue. It was

almost time to eat, there was a glut of midges and unsuspecting baby flies

would be trying their wings in a minute or two. If he did not move fast, hed

miss out on the bounty.

I really think I had better go and look for Ingwe and Marilyn, said

Kitike in a small concerned voice.

Dont you have kittens to look after? Uncle Lemon said, and it gave

him a pang when she dropped her head meekly and walked despondently

away. He sighed, it seemed that there was always one lone individual who

had to defy her species, break out of the chains of her genus. He didnt know

why it was like that, but he knew they didnt last that long. Standing out from

the herd was not a useful survival strategy in the owl eat mouse world in

which they lived.

The monkeys were despatched to spy on the Nids, who seemed to find

the antics of their relatives adorable. They returned each day with outlandish

stories that could barely be believed. The other animals decided enhancing a

story for dramatic effect was a monkey.

They hold this up to their faces and drink whats inside, Jane

explained, turning over an object shed purloined with her opposable thumbs.

She put the object on the ground, and the animals gathered around to

examine it. It was hard on the outside, but inside was something like water.

She picked up a rock and smacked it against the object and it shattered into


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pieces, spilling a liquid onto the ground that stung the eyes, and smelled of

fermented apples.

The Nids do fight, weve seen them said one of the monkeys, his

eyes stretched to their whites by what hed seen, But they dont bare their

teeth and put on much of a display, theyre sneaky that way. After theyve

been fighting, they cuddle together and slap each other on the back, and then

they howl. Then they fall over and in the morning, they wake up very slowly

and howl again.

There was only one Nid who looked as though she might be female,

who seemed to be the mate of the small round Nid. Perhaps that was why

they howled like that and fought with one another, the animals mused.

Nid behaviour was both baffling and entertaining. They set sticks on

fire, put them in their mouths, and seemed quite happy like that. They were

very fond of water and washed themselves all over every single day in

waterholes they built inside their houses. They grew no food and never

seemed to forage but their giant machines brought them an endless supply of

fruits, some of which the animals had never seen before. They tossed these

out at the monkeys, and soon the inevitable happened. The word went

around that titbits were to be had, and the invasion began.

An old aunt arrived with her son, and his cousin and brother and soon

there were so many arriving daily to entertain the Nids with cute antics and

partake of the bounty, that the platform became perilously crowded. After a

while the Nids seemed to tire of the game and instead of throwing out treats,

began to throw rocks. The monkeys quickly learned what to do and threw the

rocks back at the Nids, and soon once again, the dreadful banga noise was


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heard across the valley and that was the end of the monkeys spy activities.

Also the end of the old aunt, but at least some of the Nids had the grace to eat

her.

Pisi, the hyena swore that they made rain come out of the grass. She

was adamant that, while doing important investigative spy work on the

container outside the Nids house, she had seen with her own two eyes real

actual rain coming upwards out of the grass. It didnt seem possible, even for

the Nids, who seemed to make excellent use of their opposable thumbs.

One morning, Todi the bush baby, rooting under a cushion bush to

feed the cravings of the wrigglings she had in her belly that would soon be

endlessly hungry babies, she heard a sound like an antelope being strangled.

It was Ingwe, the tall speckled queen of the forest stepped gingerly from the

shadows on aching paws. One of her ears was ripped into tatters and her tail

had a strange kink in it. Her head hung low as she stumbled towards the Big

Rock, putting one weary paw and then another onto the ledge and heaving

herself up.

She had a fight with a Big Willie, said Marilyn coming up beside Todi.

Showed him whos king of the beasts, thats my mom.

Hey, said the mom, staring at the sky where her tree used to be,

panting heavily, her powerful shoulders heaving. What the , my tree, who

took my tree?

She leapt around and faced the animals narrowing her eyes

menacingly.

Wheres my tree, if someones taken it I want it back, right this instant.


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Oh Ingwe, Kitiki said in a tiny voice, we wanted to warn you, the Nids

came and cut it down.

My tree? Ingwe roared, What Nids? This is a Nid-free zone, how did

Nids get in here and cut down my tree and put up that grotesque display?

Now Im cross, now Im furious, now Im really really mad.

She leapt from the rock and began to walk along the path that skirted

the water hole and led to the dip where the water was shallow enough for a

crossing to the other side with minimal wetting of feet.

No, no, Kitiki cried, running alongside her. Theyll catch you, and ...

youll be a coat.

A pair of shoes, a passing crocodile remarked with a shiver.

Come back, lets talk about it, Uncle Lemon said, hopping behind, but

Ingwe would not listen, she paused briefly to investigate an intriguing scent on

a wild mango tree and continued along the path as if she was in no hurry at

all.

It had been a long journey and shed been longing to sit in her tree with

its perfect view of the waterhole, up above the other animals. Call the lion the

king of the beasts, she scoffed, she was empress supreme when she sat in

her tree. The blood pounded in her brain at the thought that her beautiful tree

was now gone.

One of the Nids saw her coming and froze, the hammering stopped

and an eerie silence echoed over the valley. The Nids stood motionless,

paralysed; even the frogs stopped in mid-croak. Ingwe paused to nibble on a

flea on her ankle and continued her saunter up the path.


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Ingwe strolled up to the Nids who stood rigid with fear. She bunched

up the muscles in her neck, took a breath from the very depths of her lungs

and gave a spine-chilling growl. Fine hairs stood up on necks all over the

valley.

Whos in charge here, she roared, I want to speak to the person

whos responsible for this this vandalism. Without a by your leave, you

people have cut down my tree and I want it back, you hear me, exactly where

it was right now.

She stepped relentlessly forward and the Nids shrunk back, each trying

to manoeuvre himself behind the other. It was too easy, she thought, they did

nothing but stand there rooted to the earth, staring at her with their round

strange eyes. Not one of them tried to break away and run for it so that the

game could commence. They just stared as though that alone would strike

fear in the heart of the empress supreme. They offered no challenge at all,

and to be honest, she didnt think they looked particularly tasty, but having

made her stand, she had to carry through no matter what.

Cluck the guinea fowl in a vain attempt to distract them leapt into the

air and ran across the veld, bouncing through the glass clucking and bouncing

and hopping from one leg to the other.

Me, me, here, here, catch me, she said, leaping and flapping, Im

delicious, tender and tasty. You hang me in a tree for a few days, with

marinade, nothing too pungent, rosemary and kooboo berry leaves. Catch

me. Shes stringy and tough, she runs around all day. Me, me, catch me.


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A loud banga echoed across the valley, sending the springbok

scudding into the bushes. A thrill of terror ran through the animals, especially

those who had never heard the sound before.

Ingwe leapt back, her claws scrambling in the dust, her feet twisted

beneath her. She tried to leap forward, but a bloom of blood now dashed the

front of her chest. She stretched out her neck, gave an agonised cry, then her

tail swung and graceful arc and she lay herself gently on the ground.

Oh no, Todi said, covering her belly with her hands, feeling the little

kicks and twitches of her soon-to-be offspring.

Mom! Marilyn cried, rushing forward, but Uncle Lemon stepped in her

way, lifting a long green finger.

Marilyn, listen to me, we dont need another death. This is nature red

in tooth and hoof, we cant confront them directly.

One of the Nids nudged Ingwes prone body with his foot. He crouched

down next to her, and pulled up her lip to show the perilous fangs. Another

picked up her kinked tail and they dragged her into their shelter. Before long

her lovely glossy spotted coat hung dripping from a tree.

After Ingwes death, a strange ennui settled over the animals. Life

carried on as almost normal, but there was a simmering anxiety that would not

go away. Everyone was too depressed to come up with a Plan B.

Stick your head in the sand, was the ostrichs advice, works for us.

XXX

One day, the Nids filed out of their structure, climbed into their

elephant, it rumbled up the hill and an eerie silence descended on the valley.

It never came back.


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At first the animals were suspicious. Why would the Nid build a

splendid structure and not live in it? It made no sense. They resisted the

impulse to take a closer look at the Nid house and drank from the water hole

with an anxious eye up on the platform. The tension eased slowly, some of

the bonhomie returned, but it was too good to last and everyone knew it.

Next to the Nid structure was a piece of wood with Nid lettering on it.

Towel, who was the only animal who could read, circled it and squinted at the

letters.

Giggletree Lodge, he said.

Giggletree Lodge, asked Uncle Lemon, what does it mean?

Giggletree plus Lodge, said Towel, who didnt know what it meant

either.

XXX

Pisi the hyena was about to take a stroll around the Nids deserted

structure where an enticing smell of delicious Nid debris wafted across the

river, when she heard a familiar vibration. Down the hill came one of the Nids

infernal machines, although this one was less an elephant than a giant

caterpillar. It roared past the Baobab Tree, belching black fumes into the

weavers nest and came to a screeching halt in front of the Nid structure. Pisi

realised with horror that not only were the Nids back, but they had brought

others, lots of others, a line of Nids streamed out of the caterpillar. They

looked like the usual Nids except they all had black hair and each one carried

a little black box against his chest, which he held to his face, and the clicking

sound it made seemed to be a source of great satisfaction to them, because

they faced each other with these boxes held up to their eyes, and clicked,


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they opened their mouths wide showing tiny teeth, and clicked, they made

gurgling sounds and slapped each other on the arm or back and clicked

again. After a few minutes of this, they filed into the Nid shelter, disappearing

from sight.

Well thats just great, grumbled Pisi, more Nids, just what we need.

Even if we pick them off one by one, there seems to be an endless supply

where they came from.

Unless youve got a plan B, young lady, theres nothing to do but sit

and wait, Xammi the lion snarled.

Pisi rounded on him, jaws snapping.

You big bad lion you, king of the beasts, she spat, why dont you do

something. Go and eat one of them for instance, but no, you get your

lionesses to do all the work so you dont mess up your mane.

Oh right, when theres the risk of losing a major limb, its we boys that

have to go out there while you chickens park on your fat bums at home.

Chickens? Pisi shrieked.

Alright you two, said Uncle Lemon, there will be no eating of Nids.

The sudden Nid influx was a worry and nerves were drawn taut as the

skin of a gecko after a post rainstorm bug buffet.

In the late afternoon, as the sun dipped over the horizon unleashing

streaks of purple, gold and pink, the Nids filed out of the structure along the

walkway and onto the platform that stretched out over the waterhole. They

wore body skins of flowery colours and they gabbled at each other, waving

their arms and baring their teeth.


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Handbag decided at that moment to saunter down to the water for a

drink. Apart from her bunions, shed had a mouthful too many fermented

custard berries, and her head was pounding in a low thrum. She picked her

way delicately down the hill, her bulk swaying from side to side.

Ow, ow, sharp thorn, she muttered peering myopically through the

bush.

Something strange happened to the Nids when she came into sight.

They leapt to their feet with excited cries, flung the black boxes against their

eyes and clicked like the crickets at the annual dung beetle ball match.

Oh relax, said Handbag looking up to see what the commotion was all

about, its just me having a drink.

She was pleased that the Nids had noticed her extraordinary beauty,

sadly a little depleted now, but still quite magnificent for her age. She turned

her photogenic side towards where they were standing, and a great ooh

sounded. She turned to the other side, which quite frankly she did think of as

her best profile, it put her magnificent curving horn on full display. The

clicking from the Nids was positively desperate.

A group of blesbok clustered at the water hole, and despite their

attractive markings, and delicate curving horns, the Nids didnt even look at

them. One of the warthogs slipped into the water and rolled over onto her

back with her legs sticking adorably into the air, but the Nids didnt look at her

either.

Suddenly there was another outbreak of excitement amongst the Nids.

Crunchy, one of the elephants appeared and they turned away from Handbag


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and began clicking at Crunchy. He filled his trunk and poured a stream of

cool water onto his back, waving his ears and closing his eyes in bliss.

After a few minutes of elephant excitement, the Nids calmed down,

their excited cries were muted. They turned as one to watch something in the

grass, a large buffalo nosed his way through the trees, his horns crashing

away the branches in his path. It was Yatsi and he paused for a moment to

shake his monstrous head from side to side, which set up another round of

excitement amongst the Nids.

A red-billed oxpecker perched on Yatsis neck and drilled his beak into

the thick skin.

Youre one of the Big Five, he said.

Is that some sort of club? Yatsi asked.

Theyre the animals the Nids really like, I heard it from Jane. Out of all

the millions of animals, youre in the top five.

I see, said Yatsi, delighted that at last his unique qualities were being

appreciated.

Their interest in the hippos was desultory at best, the zebras barely

registered a flurry of clicks and the crocodiles were completely ignored. Then

along came Ingwes lovely daughter Marilyn, slipping out of her tree and

slithering down the rocks towards the water, her dazzling skin rippling with

each step. The Nids made the sound of a low moan and the clicking began.

Big Five? Xammi the lion said, tossing his tawny mane. Ill give

them Big Five.

He strolled up to the Big Rock and heaved himself up. He could see

himself reflected in the water and he had to admit he cut a fine figure. His


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ears were a little bitten around the edges, and his nose was, well, large. He

had to admit hed put on a few pounds, that his waistline sagged, but he did

think the extra bulk added a certain gravitas to his bearing. He was

undoubtedly what he was, the king of the beasts and worthy, yes worthy of

the adulation of even these pathetic pink creatures. He loosened his neck,

stretched his back legs, and bunched up the muscles so that they rippled to

rigid, threatening attention. He threw his black-tipped mane out of his eyes,

drew a deep breath and roared a mighty magnificent lion roar that frightened

the snakes right out of their skins and sent every creature in a two mile radius

skittering into the undergrowth.

The Nids forgot Handbag, they forgot the elephant, they forgot the

buffalo and the bird, and even Ingwes lovely daughter. The king of the

beasts roared and the sound shook the trees, the stones, the rocks and the

composure of the giraffe, who pitched forward into the water on her nose.

Lordy, said Uncle Lemon, watching him preen and pose. This is not

good. Not good at all.

XXX

It got worse.

It was all about the big five as far as the Nids were concerned, they

barely glanced at the jackals, completely ignored the springbok, despite their

charming leaping and bouncing, and didnt even raise their heads when the

aardvark came bustling out of her hole with her cherubic baby clinging to her

back. It was a poor state of affairs to say the least.

Xammi had his nose so far up in the air he was constantly tripping over

the gerbils.


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Watch where youre going klutzy, they cried as he came running

along with his mane streaming out behind him.

Out of my way, peons, he said contemptuously. Youre not even in

the top five thousand.

The elephants roped their kids into the show, little Macauley was

herded into the water and sponged off, whether he needed it or not.

The zebras seethed with resentment at all the attention the rhinos were

getting.

Were also odd-toed ungulates but you dont see the Nids falling over

themselves to click their boxes at us, they snapped.

One day, Pisi was walking along the path to the waterhole, keeping an

eye out for any hooves or ears or other Xammi leftovers when she came to a

strange structure blocking the road. It was a boom of some sort, and next to it

was an officious little newt.

Stop, the newt said, where are you going?

Where am I going? Pisi said, barely able to suppress a giggle that

bubbled up through her lips. Youre asking me, Pisi, queen of the hyena

where I am going?

Thats right. This is a restricted area between sunrise and sunset.

Youre not allowed.

She thought about biting his head off, it wouldnt be difficult, but shed

done it once, eaten one of them and they really did taste like chicken, but with

millions of little bones, shed been picking them out of her teeth for weeks.

A restricted area, therefore some come in and others not, she

scoffed.


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Exactly, said the newt. We cant have all these non-big-five riff raff

passing through the big five zone, dropping orange peels and making the

place look untidy. Youre getting in the way.

I see, Pisi said. And how to you suppose I am supposed to get a

drink then.

You have to go back the way you came until the path forks. Take a

left at the neem tree, follow the path between the sneezewoods and if you

meet any of your relatives or other Non-Big Fives, tell them not to try and

sneak past, Im taking names.

Thats really funny, Pisi said with a malicious smirk, and she lunged

for the newt, jaws snapping. She caught his tail, but it came off in her mouth

and the rest of him scurried up a slippery rock, and into a crevasse.

Youre not allowed in there, he squeaked, Its a restricted VIP area.

Its the regulations, its compulsory.

I, Pisi, queen of the hyena do not accept Nid notions of what is

beautiful and what is not worthy of their regard. We all live here, whether

weve got big moist eyes and a cute fur coat. Now excuse me, Im going to

have a drink.

She stepped delicately over his carefully constructed barrier and

continued down the road. When he was sure she was gone, the newt

slithered down the rock and as he returned to his post, he saw his boom

disappearing into the forest in the jaws of an otter.

It got worse.

Yatsi became so insufferable the oxpecker refused to peck his ticks.


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See if I care, Yatsi said, tossing his horns, but late at night the

animals saw him in the caterpillar bushes, frantically scratching his

inaccessible itches.

The elephant churned up the water so such a degree with photogenic

trunk action that some of the animals moved upstream, which put pressure on

those upstream to move even further upstream. The impala found hippos

shuffling around their doorstep, making noise all night while they were trying

to sleep.

Youre just jealous, Handbag told the aardvark, when they

complained that the stamping and posing was compacting the ground and

making it difficult for them to burrow.

Youre just jealous, said Xammi when Kitiki pointed out that the huge

creature with their many windows in which the Nids had arrived, had been

joined by another one and another one, and that the few visitors had turned

into a crowd, jostling each other for space on the platform and spilling onto the

grass that sloped down to the water hole. Nobody was getting much sleep.

Something had to be done.

Its time we had a meeting, said Uncle Lemon.

Meeting, said the impala to the hares.

Meeting, said the termites to the jackal.

It had been a long time since thered been a meeting. When the Nids

had first arrived and the first banga was heard in the valley, thered been a

meeting. It had not gone well, Uncle Lemon recalled. The lions tried to boss

everyone around. The herbivores didnt come because the lions were there,

and the butterfly bats boycotted because they were in a dispute with the


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lizards over a piece of prime territory. The elephants had become all huffy

over some insignificant slight and started pulling down trees, and the meeting

had degenerated into chaotic shouting and threats. When nobody was

looking, the honey badger swallowed the termite queen. At this, the ants

marched angrily back to their nest, decrying the lack of discipline.

Everybody knew that this meeting was important, that things in the

valley had changed and that they had to adapt or perish. If they were lucky

and if they came up with a decent strategy, the might fight back.

The meeting was held at the water hole after the coppery sun had slid

into the desert and the mosquitoes had driven the Nids into their shelter. As a

precaution, everybody acted natural so that if anybody was watching, all they

would see would be thirsty animals slurping water between the weeping

willows and green hair trees.

Uncle Lemon sat on the highest spot on the big rock, a spot that befit

his role as leader of the animals. Nobody remembered how he came to be

leader, if leader was the right word. He was not even close to being the

biggest animal there. He was small and green, except when he was black, or

a dullish brown, and for his species he was relatively ancient, but his authority

was absolute, everybody listened to him, even if they didnt exactly obey.

Order order, he said, pleased at the excellent turn out, the critical

nature of the proceedings had been effectively communicated down the line.

Thanks for coming everybody, we all know why were here. The Nids are

taking over our valley, if theres one thing we can do, its to stand together and

come up with a plan for getting rid of them.

Its a crisis, said the hippos, they watch us bathing and everything.


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Theyre not looking at you, Xammi sniffed, shaking his mane out of

his eyes.

Weve got to drink the muddy water downstream, moaned the jackals,

who were at seven thousand something on the list, apparently..

Youre just jealous, honey, Handbag smirked.

What about the rats? the rats said.

What about the rats? Uncle Lemon sighed.

Vermin, thats what they call us. They dont even know us; look how

clean our hands are. We do nothing but clean ourselves all day long. How

can they call us dirty?

They call us ugly, the warthogs chortled, Imagine that?

Were tasty, the antelope said. They saut us with onions.

Order, order, Uncle Lemon said.

It was happening all over again, everyone with a petty gripe, bickering

about status and rank and perception. Who cared about pecking order when

they were facing the greatest crisis of their lives.

We have a common enemy, said Uncle Lemon, lets have a bit of

discipline. You, you with the nose, put down that beetle and listen. And you,

smelly one, stop that thing you do with your leg.

I cant help it, the polecat whimpered.

Stop looking at my kids like that, the mongoose said to the eagle.

I havent done anything the eagle replied innocently, although he was

drooling onto his chest feathers, just admiring your lovely succulent children.


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I told you all to eat before the meeting, Uncle Lemon snapped. This

is not the time for base, animal appetites. How are we going to get rid of

these crowds, these infernal Nids?

We need to separate them and pick them off one by one, said

Dingding the cheetah, they dont seem to run very fast.

An ambush, the baboons said, banging their chests to be heard

above the hubbub. We lure them into the bushes and twist their heads off.

I can run into their house and poke them in the leg, said the warthog

helpfully.

We cant risk a direct attack, those banga sticks are dangerous Uncle

Lemon said. We have to be more devious and subversive. We need a

something with bite. We need to make it inconvenient for the Nids to be here,

or at least unpleasant or boring.

They put nets over their beds, the mosquitos whined, we havent had

a decent meal in weeks.

Well just eat their house up, the termites said. In fact, weve made a

start already.

Theyre here to see the big five, cackled the hadedah. If they dont

see the big five, theyll go away and everything will go back to normal.

The animals fell silent.

Thats it! You clever bird, you, Uncle Lemon cried. The big five must

hide.

Youre just jealous, honey said Handbag. Take a good look at

yourself, youre positively green.


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Oops, said the eagle, hunching his shoulders guiltily, between his lips

was the end of a furry tail, a furry baby mongoose tail. Sorry, maam, he

mumbled. Slip of the ah, tongue.

With a shriek of rage, the mother mongoose threw herself at the eagle,

fangs flashing, claws ripping, feathers drifting off in all directions.

Now stop that, Uncle Lemon said.

Nobody was listening. Xammi grinned lasciviously at Pajama, who

took off running as fast as she could and in all the excitement, the porcupine

shot a quiver of quills at the bat eared fox, which hit the oribi in the rump.

Ow, ow, why are you picking on me? she cried, taking off into the

night.

Uncle Lemon sighed. It never worked, trying to bring them all together.

That was the problem, there was no solidarity, no sacrifice for the good of the

whole. It was every jackal, rodent and pigeon for himself.

The meeting reassembled after a fashion following much argument,

status display, mock charges and bouncing around by the springbok. The

animals looked accusingly at the big five, who shifted uncomfortably.

I must admit Im getting a little sick of those silly things around me all

the time, said Marilyn, I mean, you dont want them to see you when youre

having a bad spot day, its a strain.

The kids want their own mini waterholes, the elephants complained,

its getting a bit much.

Well, alright, said Handbag, I still maintain its jealousy, but Im

getting a little fed up with them too, how do you propose that we, um, larger

animals hide when we see a Nid?


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Good question, Uncle Lemon said, thinking hard. Anyone got an

idea?

Its easy, said the baboons, turn around and show them your bum.

The baboons turned around and showed off their shiny, cherry-red

bums to the hilarity of the rest of the animals.

Handbag batted her eyelashes.

Its alright for them, but my bum isnt really my best feature, I do have

my pride, you know.

Thatll be the signal, said Uncle Lemon, when I shout show bums,

everybody turns and shows their bum to the Nids. Have you got it?

They had it and whats more, it sounded as thought it might be fun too.

It was a bold plan, but just audacious enough to stand a chance. It was

against their natural instinct when cornered to turn their back on an aggressor,

but it was becoming clear that the Nids werent really animals, or if they were,

had removed themselves so far from the other animals, there was no instinct

left. All they could do was adopt devious Nid thinking and hope for the best

The plan secured, the diurnal animals went to bed and the nocturnal

animals went foraging with a lightness of spirit they hadnt felt for some time.

XXX

The next day, as the sun peeped shyly over the horizon streaking the

sky in swirls of pink and peony, the animals took up their positions at the

watering hole. The non-big-five animals were thrilled to be able to drink

wherever they wanted and they frolicked and skittered with the joy at the

unaccustomed surprise. The mood was so infectious that Uncle Lemon

worried they might not be able to keep straight faces.


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Towel hovered over the Nids house. It didnt look that big from where

he was, a speck surrounded by wilderness. He counted himself lucky he

could see things from many angles, it made it easier to fathom the big picture,

a talent that had saved his life many times. All the other animals were rooted

to the ground, trapped while he aloft in the crisp blue morning was quite

certain there was no better place in the world to be.

He tilted a wing and began a long steady swoop towards the grassy

roof of the structure and as he hovered overhead, he saw the Nids filing out,

one by one, walking in their funny walk. He swooped over them, and one of

the Nids looked up. He could not resist twirling to show off before diving

towards the water, skimming up a mouthful, and soaring up into the limitness

sky, the sign that Uncle Lemon, sitting on the Big Rock, was waiting for.

OK, everybody, said Uncle Lemon, theyre coming, we wait until we

hear the first click then on three.

They waited, tension mounting, the hyenas couldnt stop laughing, and

since they were non-big-five animals, Uncle Lemon moved them further up hill

and put the zebras on the other side to round out the tableau. The Nids milled

aimlessly around the platform, baring their teeth at each other, yammering,

spitting, putting burning sticks in their mouths and blowing out streams of

smoke.

Handbag, ever the drama queen, sauntered down to the water until her

toes squelched in the mud and took a long, slow drink. The Nids turned to

watch her, one of them pointed, they all turned to look, black boxes were

raised, a click was heard.

One, said Uncle Lemon.


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The animals waited, the Nids clicked.

Whats after one, Uncle Lemon whispered to Kitiki.

Two four, Kitiki said.

Two Four go, said Uncle Lemon.

The animals stopped whatever they were doing, drinking, scratching

their fleas or regurgitating food for their children. They turned their faces

away from the Nids, and all the Nids could see from the platform were furry,

stripy, wrinkled and saggy bottoms.

The Nids looked at each other, scratched their heads, gabbled a bit,

the black boxes dangled silently around their necks. One of the Nids shuffled

across to the other side of the platform, and they all shuffled after him. The

animals shuffled in the opposite direction. The Nids shuffled back to the other

side of the platform, but all they could or ever would see were bottoms.

After a while, the small round Nid with the shiny head, came out and

saw what was going on. The Nids began to shout loudly at him, complaining

and waving their arms. The round Nid put his hands on his hips and looked at

the animals

Now see here you, he shouted, turn around.

He picked up a stone and threw it in the general direction of the

wildebeest, but they didnt even twitch.

Although they were dying to cavort away and laugh, all the animals

kept to their roles, except for Xammi. He had never to his knowledge agreed

to hide or show his bum. He climbed on a rock and posed, his magnificent

mane falling over his shoulders. A flurry of clicking came from the Nids.


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Thwack! A large rock plunked into the water next to where Xammi

preened.

Who threw that, he roared, brushing droplets off his glossy coat.

Get back into line and show your bum, the baboons growled, showing

fearsome curving teeth.

Youre just jealous, Xammi hissed, but he looked from the Nids sitting

high on their platform to the animals who knew where he liked to snooze in

the hot afternoons and pragmatically turned and showed his elegant rump to

the puzzled watchers.

Some of the animals enjoyed the game so much, they began to make

rude noises with the lower parts of their bodies, but Uncle Lemon put a stop to

that.

Lets not behave like Nids please, he said firmly.

XXX

After many days of turning the other cheek, the morning came when

they saw the Nids carrying their belongings out of the house and putting them

in the caterpillars. In and out they went with their innumerable bags and

boxes. The caterpillars started their earth shattering noise and a cheer went

up when they began to move, following each other up the hill, past the Big

Baobab and the camelthorn with the hovering weavers, past the marula trees

until they were out of sight.

It wasnt over yet. New Nids arrived, but the animals knew it was

important to keep up the pressure. If they werent hiding in the trees or under

the water, they were showing their bums to the Nids on the platform. The

small round Nid brought in smaller Nid machines, about the size of a medium


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hippo, that were able to drive through the bush and over rocks, but they made

so much noise, the animals could hear them for miles and quietly disappear

into the undergrowth.

The click of the black boxes was heard less and less, and before long,

there were no more caterpillars, no more Nids in bright colours. Only two

Nids remained, the short round pink Nid and his short round pink female, and

they began to shout at each other and throw things.

One day the small round Nid climbed into his small elephant machine

and instead of turning around and going up the road as he usually did, he

travelled along the edge of the watering hole, to where the animals who had

already drank their fill stood, ruminating. They heard the dreadful noise, and

froze, looking, waiting. Suddenly the creature burst out at them, and send

them chargine down the slope towards the water hole. The animals in front of

them were pushed into the deeper water, and there was a screaming melee of

animals coming and going, until some of them managed to make it to the

bank and scramble out of the way.

The Nid machine circled around and came to a juddering halt. The Nid

poked his round head through a hole in the side of the creature, and in his

hand was the banga stick of the animals nightmares. He held it to his

shoulder and fired and down went a wildebeest calf, banga, and Pajamas

cousin kicked and screamed. The wildebeest fled back into the water and

decided to stay there huddling for protection against the hippo that sunk in the

muddy water to their eyeballs. The Nid and his machine roared off after a

group of antelope who scattered into the hills. It jounced over a boulder,

crashing through branches and leapt into the air so that its four round feet


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were off the ground. The animals wondered if it would fly like a bird, in which

case the Nids were far cleverer than they looked, but it bounced back to earth

with a crash like any other creature and as it did so, the crust of ground that

covered an intricate mole burrow system gave way from the weight and the it

fell into a gigantic hole, turning onto side like a tortoise in a high wind. The

execrable noise sputtered and died.

The animals heard a groan, a creak as the arm of the creature opened,

and the head of the small round Nid appeared. He looked around, blinking.

Marilyn stood at the edge of the toad trees waiting her chance. She sidled as

far forward as she dared, flattened herself against the ground, inching forward

until she ran out of cover and sprinted as fast as she could up to the Nid

machine, flattening herself against it. The Nid tried to climb out of the wreck

holding the banga stick in front of him. Marilyn could see the back of his shiny

head, pink ears sticking out and a circle of sparse hair. In a bound, she curled

her arm around his throat. She could feel the beating pulsing veins in his

head and neck, smell the stink of fear. She knew and he knew that with a

swipe she could cut his head right off.

Dont make a move, she growled into his shell-like ear.

The Nids eyes bulged so much, they looked about to pop right out of

his head.

Did you say something? he whispered, trying to turn his head, but

Marilyn increased the pressure on his neck until he gagged. His pink face

turned a livid red, and a nauseating sheen of sweat made him slippery in her

grasp.

Dont eat him, Uncle Lemon cried.


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Aw, just a nibble, said Marilyn, licking his neck and spitting the taste

out.

The Nids throat made a strangled shriek.

Are animals talking? he spluttered. What is this? Am I hearing

animals talk?

Marilyn smiled enigmatically and with a swipe from her paw, extracted

him from the machine like a tortoise from its shell. He flopped onto the

ground like a dying fish. Marilyn snatched up the banga stick in her jaws and

flung it to Crunchy who caught it with his trunk and smashed it against a tree.

Within seconds, the monkeys had swarmed all over the Nids machine,

crawling inside to emerge with strange treats, some of which didnt look

especially edible. The other animals formed a circle around the Nid and

looked at him closely. Liquid seemed to be coming out of his eyes and he

panted as though hed been running. A pungent smell rose from his skin and

he shook and blubbered, and covered his eyes with both of his pink hands.

He uncovered them and covered them again as though he were hoping it

would all disappear. The animals were dumbfounded.

Well, what are we going to do with him? said Marilyn, positioning

herself within leaping distance of the trembling Nid.

Are you animals speaking? the Nid cried. Am I going completely

crazy or what is this?

We always speak, said Uncle Lemon.

Youre a chameleon, the Nid cried, chameleons dont speak.


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On the contrary, my species has a long tradition of eloquence. Who

do you think taught you Nids to speak, you didnt think it up by yourselves you

know.

This isnt happening, the Nid said, shaking his head. Im in a dream,

its that cheap whisky, too much television, maybe something I ate. Maybe Im

asleep? Thats it, its a dream, Im going to wake up in a few minutes and

laugh. Its stress, theres no business, no visitors.

Well sir, said Uncle Lemon patiently, if you look around you, it most

certainly is happening, you are here and so are we, and some of us wouldnt

mind a little snack, if you know what I mean. The question is what are we

going to do with you?

Youre not going to eat me, I own you, the Nid said, throwing back his

shoulders and pushing out his chest. I paid for this whole valley and

everything in it, and that means you. All of you. Every last ant.

You own us? the ants said, barely able to suppress their giggles.

This started the monkeys off and once the hyena started, it became a free for

all.

Marilyn circled the puffed up creature, bunched up her muscles and

leapt, knocking him onto his back, she lay on him with her full crushing weight,

her spotted muzzle inches from his streaming face.

You smell funny but youve got lots of meat on you, Im going to hoist

you up in my tree and live off you for a few days.

The Nid had turned from red to a very disturbing white and he

struggled to breathe with the huge weight of Marilyn, who was chunkier than


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she looked. She got up, but not without breathing into his face to show she

meant business.

The Nids mouth went rubbery, In that case, if someone will be kind

enough to point me the way home, Id be glad to

Not so fast, said Marilyn, rising to her feet and stretching her toes.

Your people killed my mom.

Youve kept us awake for weeks, said the hippos moving menacingly

forward.

You called us ugly, said the warthogs, horns bristling.

You bangad my cousin, Pajama cried.

The Nid turned this way and that, but all he could see was wave upon

wave of angry talking creatures and a chorus of complainants.

Hes leaking water, chortled Handbag, how revolting.

Its a dream, please let me wake up, the Nid begged, and his legs

seemed to give way. He fell to his knees, with his hands held tightly together.

Oh thats pathetic, said Marilyn. Now, Ive completely lost my

appetite.

Please dont kill me, the Nid cried, running his hand over the dome of

his head. I wont say anything, I mean about the talking and stuff. Nobody

would believe me anyway. Ill keep it quiet, please just let me go.

Wed like to think youre learned your lesson, said Uncle Lemon.

I have, said the Nid, nodding his head like a parrot. I really have. Ill

just pack up and leave, if thats alright with you. I mean, my business is

ruined already and now Ive got animals that talk.

Promise you wont come back? said Kitiki.


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Promise, said the Nid.

And if you do? said Xammi, licking his lips, Ill have your liver with a

little wild onion.

Ill rip out your heart, mince it into little pieces and not even eat it, said

Pisi, snapping her jaws.

Ill just be moving along then, the Nid said, and as he sidled away, he

bared his teeth.

The animals gasped and instinctively bared their own teeth, bristling for

a fight. The Nid quickly closed his mouth and backed away slowly.

Wait a minute, said Marilyn. Before you go, lets have those skins

you use to cover yourselves, they may belong to our relatives.

The Nid put a hand against his chest.

They arent skins, theyre polyester, they are made in a factory.

The animals looked at each other, but nobody knew what polyester

was, or a factory for that matter.

Marilyn was implacable. I dont care where they come from hand

them over

The Nid hesitated, but Marilyn fitted her jaws to his leg, and he quickly

took off the skins that covered him until all he had was one last piece of white

fabric which he clung to with shaking hands.

You can keep those, said Marilyn with a contemptuous flip of her

paw.

The Nids body was pink all over and globular, vaguely hippo-like in

appearance, its flesh-folds soft and defenceless. They werent half as scary

without their tools. He sidled towards the road, and the animals let him go.


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Although some of them were quite hungry from all the activity, they knew that

eating the Nid would bring bad fortune onto their heads and besides it was

obvious they werent really animals, although they had some uncannily

animal-like behaviours. As he ran, he stopped to look behind him, like a

klipspringer did and which is how they became everyones favourite easy

meal.

XXX

The next day, so early in the morning the birds werent even chirping,

the small round Nid and his small round female hurriedly carried their

belongings out of the house and put them inside their machine, and made

their way for the last time up the road. At the entrance, they stopped, the Nid

got out and next to the sign that said Giggletree plus Lodge, he put up another

sign. He got back into his creature and continued up the road past the Big

Baobab, past the marula trees and the weavers settled down into the tree with

a weary sigh, hoping it would be the last time they were so rudely awoken.

Towel, swooped up and squinted at the sign.

For sale, he said.

What does that mean? asked Uncle Lemon.

For plus sale, Towel said, shrugging. It means exactly that, and

nothing else.

It doesnt matter what it means, the Nids are gone, Kitiki cried,

theyve gone forever, and theyre never coming back.

For plus sale, it worried Uncle Lemon, there was something ominous

about it although he didnt understand what it meant. He brushed it to the

back of his mind. The sun shone in an iridescent sky and the grasshoppers


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were so plentiful he could reach right out and snatch one without moving more

than one or two muscles. He did just that, and as he bit its head off, and as

he crunched it between his jaws, he thought how wonderful it was to be alive,

to be a chameleon sitting on a tree in the most beautiful valley in the world,

and how glad he was that things had finally gone back to normal.

Whatever that was.


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Chapter Two

One afternoon as the sun bathed the forest in a shimmering somnolent

haze, Maki the bush baby woke up and found he couldnt move. There was

nothing wrong with his body, but his sisters head pinned one hand to the floor

of the nest, the other one was trapped under Auntie Bertha, the cousins were

sprawled out over his stomach and Aunt Margarets daughter snored against

his leg. The twins were under mom, and dads arm curled around Uncle

Abners foot. It was the usual midday lovepile, and while he usually enjoyed

the closeness, the warmth of the leaf lined sanctuary in the fork of a bladder

nut tree, lately hed been feeling restless, a vague rumble of dissatisfaction

started somewhere in his belly and moved down his now numb legs. His feet

itched, the calloused soles magnetized by something he couldnt fathom. He

rubbed them together more than was strictly healthy for a bushbaby, and

sometimes he thought he heard someone in the distance echoing the sound.

He wasnt a baby any more; soon he would be sleeping in a nest he

would make himself, fighting for his place in the chain between leopard and

midge. No more playing the fool, wrestling, pouncing, tail-pulling and funny

walks. No more stretching and yawning and lolling in bed watching the sun

go down, no time for scratching and stroking and brushing each other up for

an evening of exciting grasshopper hunting. Life would be a non-stop round

of eating, smearing scent charms on trees, and keeping away from teeth and

sharp claws.

He couldnt wait.

On the other hand, being part of a crowd offered such benefits, comfort

in numbers, early warning systems, lookouts, spies. When he left the nest for


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the last time, he would travel alone, a scuttling snack for eagles and snakes.

And yet it was a small price to pay for glorious giddy freedom. Or was it?

Hed been pondering this question for some time, whether it was possible to

be safe and free at the same time, whether one could completely eliminate all

risk and still live a life worth living. Hed tried to talk to old Abner about it, on

the basis that he was grizzled and ancient and had seen a lot of life.

Youve got to understand, kid, its no good hanging around the house

trying to cling to the past, trying to be safe. If you have to make a choice

between freedom and security, well what do you want, a cage?

A cage! It was a Nid word that resonated with evil and foreboding.

Although few of the animals had ever seen one, mothers used the threat of a

cage as the most extreme of last-ditch punishments for unruly pups.

If you dont eat your ant larvae this instant, Im going to find a cage to

put you in, Makis own mother had said on more than a few occasions.

There were various descriptions of what a cage was, but the majority of

animals were still baffled. All they knew was that a cage was the worst thing

in the world to end up in, except being turned into a hat.

Anyway, kid, Old Abner continued, you can always be a vagabond

like me, best of both worlds. I come and go as I like, Ive got you and your

mom and all the rest of you for company when I want, but I can set out into

the blue yonder when my fancy takes me. Sure I havent passed on any of

my genes the way everyone else does, but hey theres though little critters in

the bush without me adding another few.

It sounded reasonable, and while one part of him longed to fly out to

The Yonder hed heard so much about, the rest of him was rooted to the nest,


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the shackles of the loved ones, the sinuous threads of familial duty. Paralysis

had set in. An animal alone was a sad thing, but wasnt that freedom taken to

its conclusion? No constraints. His sister was right, he spent too much time

thinking about things that werent important. He seemed to be driven by some

foolhardy itch that no amount of foot-rubbing could soothe.

A spark of sun flashed through the canopy of trees, the dazzle made

him dizzy. It was too early to be up and about, but he couldnt keep still. He

gingerly uncurled dads arm from Auntie Berthas foot so he could reach

around and push Jeannies head gently to one side, taking care not to put his

toes in Uncle Abners ears. With a bit of cunning maneuvering, he slid under

the cousins and free at last, crept to the edge of the nest and looked down the

trees to the forest floor, which seethed with creatures going about their

business. At that moment, a grasshopper with bad timing flew past, and Maki

snatched it out of the air, stared in disbelief at his good luck, and bit its head

off before it could slip away. As he munched, his eye was caught by the Nids

now-empty nest. It would be sturdy in a high wind and cozy and warm inside.

It had been many sunup-downs, and nobody had seen any Nids, vines

crept stealthily towards the abandoned shelter. There was always a chance

the Nids might return one day, but since most of the animals couldnt think

more than a sun or two forward or a moon or three back, it was less of an

immediate worry than finding a juicy tidbit for lunch. Not to mention an ideal

bachelor nest.

Before he set off he rubbed his cheek on a willow branch, and smeared

chest smell on a nearby rock so the others wouldnt worry when they woke up

and found him gone. He caught a whiff of some delicious, juicy, chewy gun,


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oozing out of a nearby acacia tree and his tummy set up an irresistible

rumble. He leapt onto the lowest branch and scampered up the tree,

scooping a nugget of gum on his way and stuffing it into his cheek. He

wadded an extra blob of the gum in his other cheek and as he swung himself

up into the canopy, he swooped and glided and chewed, hurling himself from

branch to branch, playing his favourite game of flinging himself into the air and

grabbing the next branch at the last split second. As he leapt and hurtled

through the trees, consumed in anticipation, he closed his eyes with the bliss

of the moment and sailed out where the next tree should have been, but

wasnt. For seconds he had the glorius feeling of flying out into space until

gravity intervened and he landed in a sickle bush with a crash bang splinter.

This at least prevented him from rolling down the hill and into the river.

Pain, Pain, he groaned, as he got up and looked around to see if

anyone had seen him bruised and battered, with twigs in his vanity. He ran

his teeth through the fur on his chest and neatened up his face with his feet.

He peeped through the branches and could immediately see a potential safety

problem. Once over the river, there were no trees, not even one, all the way

to the Nid shelter. There was a long expanse of the short very green grass

the Nids liked, and a bush or two where he might huddle, but the coverage

was inadequate to say the least. He would have to make a run for it or at

least a vigorous hop. Swing was his thing, swooping and gliding between the

trees. Hopping was for emergencies only.

The ground sloped sharply down to where the river was narrow enough

to jump in two or three mighty hops. He kept an eye on the sky, an

adolescent bushbaby out in the middle of the day would be a hard miss for a


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one-eyed eagle, or a cheetah with a limp. He clambered up the embankment

on the other side, it was steep and he had to balance on his tail so much it

began to feel quite raw. A cluster of mayflies rose up and buzzed his nose,

triggered a sneeze, and his plan to effortlessly bound to the top ended in a in

an undignified scrambling and clutching at weeds.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw it, something circling about his

head, the long slow confident sweep of a raptor, licking his beak and limbering

up his talons. The circling became faster, Maki felt dizzy, he could hear his

heart banging away in his ears. So much for freedom if you end up as eagle

chew. He heard the crack of a twig, and every hair on his body stood to

attention, but it was only a duck with a line of miniatures waddling towards the

water hole for a swim.

He looked up for the eagle but it was gone, a puffy cloud drifted over

the sun. He looked again and now it was plummeting, at dizzying speed

straight for the bush where he was huddling. Makis cry strangled in the back

of his throat. There was nothing to do but roll up his ears, put up his fists and

squeeze his eyes closed. There was an almighty flapping of wings, and

shattering of twigs, Maki felt the breath of his wing on his cheek, and then the

short shriek of a mouse as the bird lifted himself into the air. The cries of the

mouse grew softer as it was spirited away.

Maki let out a long slow lucky breath and tried to calm his trembling

limbs. He was starting to regret the impulse that drove him from the warmth

of the nest into this foolhardy adventure. He wished he were home, safe

cuddling with the others. But then again, he couldnt just stay huddled in the

reeds for the rest of his life, adventure was in his blood, he was a bushbaby


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not a crybaby. It was onward and forward, there was no going back. He took

a deep breath and leapt out of the bush, hopping as fast as was anatomically

possible over the prickly grass. He wondered if it was true what Jane had

said that the Nids made rain come out of the grass. He zigged and zagged to

confuse anything watching, trying not to look up at the sky. He heard a rustle

and turned in mid-hop, tripped on a rock and rolled the rest of the way into the

bush. A shower of berries rained onto his head.

The Nids shelter was enormous up close, the walls were hard and

rough to the touch, totally unsuitable for chewing. Some parts of it were

wood, but it would take too long to munch through, even if he could find a few

woodpeckers to help at such short notice. He heard a noise and this time he

was sure it really was a noise, one ear turned forward, the other backwards,

but all he heard were hippo babies wallowing and the hadedahs maniacal

call.

Just then, his tail was grabbed, he leapt around, it was Jane.

Youre much too tense, she grinned. She held out a handful of

shriveled fruit, Custard apples, try one.

I almost jumped out of my skin, Maki cried. He was embarrassed to

be so grateful to see a face that wasnt trying to kill him.

Whats a little boy like you doing out here. Planning on getting into the

Nids house, huh, huh? I saw you looking at it, wanting to get inside are you?

Just thought Id look around, said Maki, trying to look casual. Jane

was a notorious gossip; he didnt want Uncle Lemon finding out about his

expedition, never mind his mom. Im just curious thats all. By the way, how

does one, you know, get inside?


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Come with me, said Jane, and she scampered around the side of the

structure. Maki hopped behind her, keeping an eye peeled for slow moving

objects in the sky. Jane stopped and pointed at a wall of the Nids shelter.

This side of the shelter looked different, it was made of squares set into the

hard walls of the structure that glimmered when you looked at them at a

certain angle,

See there, said Jane, those little squares, theyre windows, you can

see through them to the other side. Some of them you can wind down with a

handle, like in their cars, but thats another story. This kind we have to break.

Maki was baffled.

Jane scoured the ground and picked up a rock, hefted it in her hand,

she looked at the windows, straightened her shoulders, tilted her head to one

side and the other, pulled back her arm, and flicked the rock at the wall, and

instead it bouncing back like a cracked nut would, there was a loud crash and

the rock disappeared into the shelter.

See, Jane continued, now theres a hole, Im too big to get through it,

but youre a little squirt, you climb in and once youre inside, Ill show you how

to make the hole bigger so I can get in.

Maki was not sure his legs would be able to move, he wasnt sure he

understood the concept of windows.

Listen sonnyboy, enough with the questions, climb through the hole,

and do what I tell you.

Jane helped Maki climb onto a ledge beneath the Nids windows. He

inspected the hole Jane had made with the rock, its edges were sharp as

cacti. He put one foot carefully through the hole and slid his body between


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the spikes, and as he extracted his other leg, his foot caught, and he fell

backwards off the ledge and onto the floor with a dull smack.

He pushed himself up, panting, his eyes adjusting to shapes in the

gloom that he could not recognize. Things loomed out of the walls, a herd of

animals coming straight at him, their eyes glassy, petrified to the wall, and oh

horrors, Ingwe the leopard, Ingwe the Terrible baring her horrific teeth. A herd

of buck surrounded her, mouths agape, a buffalo, a warthog bristling with

curly teeth, all mounted on wood and motionless, and Maki, who thought he

had seen the worst of the chamber of horrors, could not believe his eyes

when he saw the foot of an elephant, hacked off under the knee, standing in a

corner. He leapt away, shuddering.

Are you there? Jane called from the other side of the Nid wall.

Maki could not take his eyes off Ingwes head, he was fearful, yet

fascinated. Ingwe had been dead for almost a half summer, and yet she

looked as fierce and fresh as yesterday. It seemed the Nids had contrived a

method to make things live forever, he could only wonder at their motives.

Look for a hard thing that pokes out, said Jane from the other side of

the Nids wall.

Maki shook himself out of his torpor, and climbed back onto the ledge.

It was an amazing thing this window that didnt wind. It was there, but not

there, invisible but solid, and of course breakable. He looked for the hard

thing that poked out, and it struck him that opposable thumbs would have

been an advantage. Opening a window wasnt something a giraffe could do,

for instance. He took hold of a stick that was cold and hard and which

seemed to poke out in the way described and pushed against it.


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Push it up, sonnyboy, up, harder.

Maki pushed but it didnt move, he pulled it, swung on it, and still it

didnt move. He got underneath, bent his legs and pushed with his shoulders

and with a creak it began to move upwards until it clicked, and the window

swung out into the garden. He lost his balance and tumbled into a rosebush

with a crashing thud. He didnt try and get up immediately. He felt defeated,

every bone in his body ached and now he had thorns in his bum. Jane

yanked him out of the bush by the scruff of his neck and thrust him through

the window, setting him onto the floor of the Nids shelter.

Its every monkey for himself from this point, Jane cried, making a

beeline for the door. Maki took a look around the shelter, it was all so new

and wonderfully baffling. He was astonished how much stuff the Nids had, so

many things scattered around, they slept on platforms, covered with skins of

different colours. The waterhole was a revelation, he could not imagine how

they did it, a waterhole right inside the house, and according to Jane, they

washed themselves every day. If he hadnt seen it with his own eyes

He heard Jane before he saw her, she rifled through the Nids objects,

tossing powders and grains onto the floor.

This is the kitchen, this is where the real edibles are, the motherlode of

munchies is hidden in these cupboards. She reached into the back and

pulled out a stick which she put to her nose and inhaled.

Chocolate, Maki, look she cried. Its made of beans.

She peeled the skin off the stuffed it in her mouth and closed her eyes,

dribbling chocolate saliva onto her chest. It looked like a piece of stick

covered in mud.


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Makis ears picked up a strange sound, a squeak of some sort.

Help help, someone whimpered.

The voice came from the corner, some sort of box and inside it was a

small beige rodent. Suddenly Maki realized what the box was, the dreaded

cage, it was every bit as frightening as hed always feared, solid and cold and

small, impossible to escape. He peeked through the bars and huddled in a

nest of straw was a gerbil of uncertain health. He lay on his back panting, his

hairy feet facing the sky. He looked familiar to Maki, the markings on his face,

the fur on his feet. It was Suttee, a very thin, pale, Suttee, but Suttee

nevertheless.

We thought youd gone to the big sandpit in the sky, Maki cried, what

happened to you?

I dont know, Suttee gasped. I was just walking along, minding my

own business, somebody grabbed me and before I knew it I was in prison. I

havent done anything, Im innocent, I swear. I was framed, I tell you, its a

travesty.

He had rigged up an intricate series of pulleys with string and a hook

and survived by snagging dog pellets from a bowl on the floor. The bowl was

empty now, and had been empty for some time by the looks of Suttee.

Maki tried to work out how to open the cage since he now had

experience of Nid things that poked out. He pulled and twisted and tugged at

everything that poked until he found something that moved and made a hole

big enough to get his hand inside and he was able to gently lift the gerbil out

of the cage and place him on the floor.


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Thank you my child, Suttee said, I thought I was a goner for a minute

there. Havent eaten for a week, look at me, Im a shadow of myself, my hair

is falling out in chunks. He picked a piece of fluff off his chest and let it drift

to the floor. Thank you for saving me, youre a real hero.

Oh it was nothing, said Maki feeling a warm and comforting glow.

If its not too late, theres a budgie, maybe you can do something for

him.

Whats a budgie? Maki asked.

Its a bird, a very blue bird, said Suttee. The Nids like them. They

speak funny, but theyre good sorts mostly.

Oui, came a pitiful voice through the doorway.

The birds cage hung from the ceiling of a room surrounded on three

sides with Nid windows, and crammed with plants and trees in pots. Maki

swung up the branch of a sycamore tree and peered into the cage.

Well, hello, hello hello, said the bird, leaping up and flapping his

wings, looking amazingly cheerful under the circumstances. But it was all for

show, he faltered, stumbled, and keeled over on his side.

So glad youre here, he croaked through his dry beak. A drop to

drink, please, a morsel, an apple perhaps.

Maki had the cage door open in a flash. The bird was in a sorry state,

he flapped one wing feebly, and it was clear he had not used the limb in some

time. Maki filled a walnut shell with water and carried it back to the bird. He

watched as it dribbled into his gasping beak. He swallowed painfully, his

throat bobbing, at Maki adoringly.

So cool, so good, he murmured.


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Maki found an apple in the kitchen among the debris left by the

marauding Jane. When he returned, the bird had managed to wobble to his

feet, and he stood swaying, bobbing his head furiously.

Ah, my saviour, thank you. Allo, Iook how thin my legs are, I used to

be such a pretty boy.

Youre free now, Maki said. The Nids have gone, and theyre never

coming back.

The budgie bobbed his head, eyeing the apple, but made no move to

leave the ca

nids love big eyes

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