The Best Of The Little Black Blog

Janine’s Words Of Wisdom

Volume I

CONTENTS

EVERYBODY HURTS 03

WATCH OUT FOR THE DREAM STEALERS 06

STEP INTO YOUR OWN SPOTLIGHT! 08

ARE YOU PREPARED TO WALK THE TALK? 10

THE SUM OF ALL FEARS: WHY I AM... 12

THROUGH VULNERABILITY COMES STRENGTH 15

COLD COMFORT 18

THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING 20

PRIVATE ENEMY NUMBER ONE 22

CHANGE IS COMING - ARE YOU READY? 24

DEAR NEW BUSINESS ME... 26

WELCOME TO CRAZYTOWN: POPULATION TBA 29

EVERYBODY HURTS

‘“People are always afraid of anything different. They are afraid of change,” says Sensai. “It is the same everywhere.”’-

Sandy Fussell, Shaolin Tiger

Today’s blog is, I will admit with honesty, a bit of a rant.

But it is I think a justified one – and also one that I think there will be a lot of fellow feeling about. And maybe some dissension.

I am going to be extremely frank. There is constant media coverage and debate on work/life balance at present – and it’s true – now, more than ever, we are struggling with the challenges that managing modern life present. But if you look at it through the eyes of the press, it is appearing to be an issue that is affecting only half of the world’s population – women.

And this simply isn’t true.

The ongoing images in the media are those of working mums juggling phones and laptops, power dressed and severely pinned up hair, with bubs on hips and a look of weary resignation.

In this weekend’s paper alone, there were a total of four - four - articles talking as to how hard it is for women to juggle home and work, the guilt of being back at work with a new baby, or small children, and the supremacy of the male breadwinner.

Come on people – let’s get some balance on this debate.

The reality is that we all want choice.Whether you are male or female, I think the debate about balance is the same and the choice to do what you want, when you want is one that affects everyone – whether it be about work, family or whatever it may be you are truly passionate about.

The reality is this. We are all trying to do our best one way or another, and we don’t need the media telling us what we should be feeling – and more to the point, making out it’s only a woman’s feeling. Let me tell you, my better half misses his children desperately when he has to work long hours – which he does frequently. He would love more flexibility to be able to pick them up from school, to watch them training at rugby and netball; and even to go in to see them collect their rewards mid-way through the day – which always seems to be the time the school sets, which in itself shows a lack of understanding of what working parents – parents, not mothers – are facing.

But there are problems that are exclusive to women, and these are the ones that need to be addressed – not the stereotypes of women struggling to ‘keep it all together’.

The big issues are that choices for some of us are taken away due to cost of child care, availability of child care, lack of flexible working conditions and sadly, and incredibly for 2013, women still earning only 83.5 cents to every dollar our male counterparts receive.

The stats don’t stack up in our favour still.

A survey by the Australian Bureau of Statistics in late 2012 of 357,500 working women with a child under two revealed 18.8 per cent faced discrimination in the workplace and 29.3 per cent left the workforce permanently while pregnant or after having their child.

Of those who did return to work, one in four said it was to ‘keep their employers happy’.

To save costs, grandparents were the preferred child minding option for 87,900 parents (42.8 per cent) compared to 57,700 (28.1 per cent) who utilised long day care.

The research showed 31,200 women felt they received negative comments from their manager or colleagues, 22,900 said they missed out on a promotion, 10,100 reported their duties were changed without consultation, 4,500 were demoted and 1,200 said their hours were changed without consultation.

These statistics are not just bad news for both women and men who are trying to be changemakers and leaders. They are frightening and disturbing.

This is not the way it should be.

But because life has to happen on a day to day basis, I, along with so many other women I know from all walks of life, are quite simply getting on with it with their beautiful husbands and partners.We are willing to help each other out when needed and at the same time we want and are actively trying to bring about change.

Journalists; hear this. We – and I say we and mean women and men of worth – want balanced discussion and an understanding that men need balance and support too. Politicians – we want this on the agenda, particularly the need for greater childcare provision and funding; and people – we want your voices.

The only way forward is through a united approach. So the next time you see an image of a woman struggling with a briefcase and a baby in the Sunday supplements – just have a quick think – is there a possibility that her partner is in the background with a screaming toddler and another briefcase, trying to load the car and get them all where they are supposed to be on a Monday morning?

WATCH OUT FOR THE DREAM STEALERS

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.” - T. E. Lawrence

They are everywhere.

You know the ones.

They are the the sappers of positivity. The drainers. The ones that don’t add constructive thoughts to your business dreams, but instead actually steal them and snuff them out – or worse, steal them for themselves.

Unfortunately they are often closer than you think; friends, colleagues – even family members who tell you ‘you can’t’, ‘it won’t work’, ‘it isn’t safe’ – people who encourage you to play it safe because safety is, well, reassuring to them.

But what it means for you? No dreams achieved. Just a nagging feeling of thinking ‘what just happened here?’ and knowing that in the name of love, people have just stamped on your ambition and killed it cold.

I do believe that some of these dream stealers do genuinely want to protect you and really do think they have your best intentions at heart. But what about those jealous or purely negative dream stealers – the ones that quite simply don’t want to see you achieve? What about those who are actively hanging on to revel in your failure?

Dream stealers tend to comment without solicitation and most of the time negatively. They will subtly put doubt in your mind. They will attempt to erode your confidence in yourself – sometimes because they recognise the brilliance of what you have to share with the world and see an opportunity for themselves.

Are these the type of people to include in your ‘Circle of Excellence’?

I think not.

Have the courage to open your eyes – open them wide – and walk away from the dream stealers. And instead dream big.

Become aware of the comments that are being shared around you, and instead of listening, choose to block them out and not engage. Instead, find those people that will not only dream with you but will offer constructive advice, input, thought and insight to ensure you are moving forward in the right direction – in your direction.

How honoured did I feel when I received a personal message from Abigail Disney that said – “keep raising the bar Janine, keep raising the bar and go for it.” The daughter of a dreamer who has kept the dream alive – seeing what I wanted to do and encouraging me.

Remember, it’s YOUR dream.

“Shoot for the moon; even if you miss you’ll land among the stars. So aim high, aim higher than you ever thought you could because if it just wasn’t meant to be, you’ll still shine”.

Now that’s what I am talking about.

STEP INTO YOUR OWN SPOTLIGHT!

“Step follows step, Hope follows Courage, Set your face towards danger, Set your heart on victory.” - Gail Carson Levine, The Two Princesses of Bamarre

Often, instead of being centre stage in our own business productions, we find ourselves playing the supporting roles.

Building other people’s businesses; raising other people’s profiles; offering connections, introductions – giving much of our own time and expertise in order to drive sales and success for our friends and associates.

The trouble is, nobody gives out a Best Business Oscar for Putting Others Before Ourselves and Ultimately Not Doing As Well As We Could As A Result.

It’s an admirable quality to help and to mentor other business women and men of worth. But to do that truly effectively, and from a place of strength, you need to own your own achievements first.

You need to stop hiding in the wings, and step into the achievement spotlight.

Start promoting yourself. Don’t be afraid to emphasise your strengths, what you add in terms of value – and most importantly your point of difference. In an authentic, realistic way, tell the world what makes you unique. Use what sets you apart as an effective marketing tool.

Social media is the 21st century weapon of choice of screen stars – let it help you to shine equally as brightly.

The business landscape is rapidly evolving and you need to make sure that you are evolving with it. Don’t be afraid to self-promote, because when it comes down to it, who knows your message best? You. And much as it is important to be there for those who will be there for you as your business grows, it’s time to slap on the greasepaint and get ready to step into your own spotlight. You need to be the leading lady. It’s your time to walk the red carpet of success.

Whatever you do, don’t think of this as selfish. There is nothing wrong with making your own profile, or your own brand, as strong as you possibly can. Because it is only when you are operating from that position of leadership that you can truly give to other people. It is in fact the opposite of selfish to want to achieve your goals – it is self-care. And those in your life who don’t understand this perhaps shouldn’t be a part of your personal production. Make sure you bear this in mind when you are doing your final cast list.

Lights. Camera. Action.

ARE YOU PREPARED TO WALK THE TALK?

“I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk.“ – Tony Robbins

Remember when you were at school, and there was always that one friend who seemed absolutely wonderful, but was actually undermining you on a constant basis behind your back? You probably defended them to the death, until one day it hit home that they really were a bad egg, so to speak, and so you sought out other friends – people of worth who would catch you when you fell – rather than secretly sawing through the rungs of your ladder.

Sadly I still see, on a daily basis, this same schoolyard mindset prevalent in the corporate community. I see the ladder kickers and the not-so-secret whisperers.

It is the mindset of undermining each other. And it frightens me, because in this day and age – when collaborative thinking should be key not only to success, but to personal growth – business women and men are still thinking ‘this is my dance space – and if you step on my toes, or I perceive that you are stepping on my toes, then I will step back. Harder.’

This is not the path forward. People who are still operating like this – as if we were still stuck in the ‘greed is good’ message of the 80s – are not only acting with dishonesty, they are doing themselves a huge disservice. This is a path of mistrust, and lack of transparency, and belittling – and often it is a pre-emptive strike out of fear that someone else may achieve something in the same sphere and take away from their own success.

My message is simple.

Do not let people who are unwilling to walk the talk – to truly support your endeavours – into your circles of influence and guidance.

Seek out those women and men of worth who truly want to work with you in an honest and collaborative way. Who realise the power of sharing ideas. Of coming together. Of connecting and sharing – and value-adding to each other’s businesses through the power of plural perspectives.

It takes strength of character and an ability to put aside petty fears of ‘but they may do better than me’. And that is exactly why you should hold onto and nurture those who have that innate ability to see the bigger picture, to visualise shared success.

Don’t be the person passing notes behind your best friend’s back.

Be the person who finds the note, rips it up and says ‘That’s not the way things work.’

Strength. Honesty. Authenticity. Clarity. Collaboration. Walking the Talk.

Great words to take into 2013. And your business future.

THE SUM OF ALL FEARS: WHY I AM ONE

TOUGH MUDDER!

As I sat in a long hot bath on Sunday afternoon, complete with candles (thank you hubby), soaking my battered body back to some semblance of normality, I reflected on what I had undergone the day before.

Contemplating the cut and bruised knees and elbows I had inflicted upon myself, and going over all the fears I had experienced, I realised just what I had achieved – and learned. You may be wondering what on earth I had done. Been in a car accident? Been mugged? On the contrary. I had voluntarily – voluntarily – completed a 20 kilometre training course created by British Special Forces soldiers.

It’s called Tough Mudder. It is the hardest obstacle course in the world. And it made me understand that I am indeed, one tough mother.

Permit me to share the Seven Steps To Enlightment of the Extremely Muddy Samurai…

PREPARATION:

The training was critical and whilst I will admit I was not as fit as I wanted to be after badly rolling my ankle and tearing ligaments only 6 weeks ago, whether it be Tough Mudder, a new business venture, a presentation – the key is prepare, prepare, prepare. Saturday’s challenge was the biggest reminder to me of this as I struggled through ankle pain, calf cramps, hauling my body over 9 foot tall Berlin walls, and of course the running of 20 kilometres. The old saw of prior preparation prevents poor performance definitely rang true on this occasion – and surely this is the same for business plans.

COMMITMENT:

Commitment to any decision you make is essential. Anyone can say “Yeah I’ll do it”, “Yes, give me that job”; but the real challenge is in true ownership and commitment to the decision you initially make. Believe me, there were a few times in the run-up and absolutely during the race that my commitment was challenged – but what kept me going is the commitment I had made to my team mates and most importantly to myself. I was not going to let either party down.

TEAMWORK:

I discovered camaraderie on a level that I have never experienced before. Imagine running up to a 9 foot skate ramp style wall as fast as you can and jumping, hand held out – trusting that someone would grab you and haul you up and not let you fall. Or overcoming my absolutely overwhelming fear of being underground by vocalising it – being vulnerable – and my team member supporting me as I crawled through tunnels in the dark.

Team work, collaboration, camaraderie – we all know these are critical to success but really, how many teams – in sporting or business endeavours – do feel truly united in a single cause? When you are all committed to the same end and you will support each other no matter what, the destination is achieved… and it’s so, so much more of an accomplishment.

COMMUNICATION:

We all know this is critical; we are told at home, at university, in our workplaces, in terms of relationships; but my goodness communication was key on the weekend as we had to work together to overcome obstacles, or support each other through the cramp, the electrocution (seriously), our general fears. Active communication and listening to each other with true care and compassion was essential.

RESILIENCE:

Well, that goes without saying. Determination, resilience, personal strength, fortitude – so many words are needed to describe what is physically and mentally necessary to get through the 20 kilometre course and 23 staggeringly difficult obstacles along the way. It was as though a lifetime’s lessons had been rolled into one incredibly muddy arena – and I had to make a decision whether or not I was resilient enough to learn those lessons and pass the exams – on the spot.

CELEBRATION:

The euphoria of getting over the finish line together – wow! I was absolutely knackered and fighting back the tears, as I am sure were my team mates – just look at the smiles in the picture. The adrenalin rush of completion, the open acknowledgement of achievement and the chance to celebrate. It has to be done and it should be done. Celebrate more and celebrate openly. If you achieve something amazing in life, don’t be scared to say ‘I am great!’ – because you know what, you are!

NO PAIN NO GAIN:

The receiving of the orange Tough Mudder headband is only given to those that finish and never before has the phrase ‘no pain no gain’ made more sense to me. But this is what life is about. Things that come easily are usually not worth the winning. If there is a struggle, whether physical or mental, it means that you have fought for something because you truly wanted it. Not because it was there; but because you were determined and driven and knew that the outcome was worth the battles.

IMPROVE, IMPROVE, IMPROVE:

Yes I could stop here – but you know what, I won’t. Why? Because I know I can do even better. I had to walk some of the way due to cramp; I couldn’t do the monkey bars; I didn’t run as fast as my team mates; and whilst I am celebrating I know that with more preparation I can do better next time. The same can always be said in business; yes we should celebrate our successes, and similarly learn from our failures, but everything, absolutely everything can be improved on and evolved. Nothing should stay static – the wheel keeps turning.

So whilst I am still sore and slightly gobsmacked that I did it, and still petrified about the 15 foot drop in to black, muddy water – you know what?

I will be there again in October.

THROUGH VULNERABILITY

COMES STRENGTH

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.

Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.

Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” - Brené Brown

We all know the ‘hard’ skills needed to be successful at work. The ones necessary to do our jobs as well as we can – and it doesn’t matter whether they have been learned through education, through mentorship or simply from doing. Leading. Managing a team. Being able to forecast trends. Budgeting. Meeting KPIs.

All invaluable.

I think perhaps there is a new kid on the block that is essential to success. And when I say ‘new kid’, it’s actually a skill that has been around for a very long time – we’ve just chosen to ignore it and in fact see it as a weakness in the business arena.

It’s a skill that takes courage and strength. A skill that when you allow it to be, becomes the most powerful part of your armour, instead of the chink that people expect it to be. It surprises others, it warms you to others, it takes people off guard.

It puts you in the moment, on the ball and in a position to create magic and genius.

It is a skill that, to totally generalise, our beautiful men very rarely show. It is a skill that as women, for whatever reason, we have forgotten, thrown out, or simply pushed away.

It’s vulnerability.

Scary, yes?

I agree. Vulnerability is scary and sometimes (if you allow it) uncomfortable. Even at times almost uncontrollable. But – and this is a very, very big but – it is also incredibly powerful.

We are almost ingrained with the concept that in business (and sometimes in life), vulnerability is a weakness, because it is sharing openly your thoughts and fears; it is allowing others to see your true self.

It is speaking your truth.

Imagine if instead of a weakness we thought of vulnerability as powerful.

Yes, vulnerability is openly sharing your thoughts; but aren’t those thoughts actually what you really think? Aren’t they attached to your value system? Couldn’t they quite possibly be opportunity to create a small ripple, a change of light, a change of thought in someone else’s thinking – maybe even trigger a new thought process?

We are too scared to share our feelings. This is a parlous state of affairs. What you think, what your intuition is telling you, and being able to articulate the two equals the chance to more easily move forward.

Imagine; what if by sharing our thoughts, our feelings, our worries and concerns we actually managed to open the door to change; to let others in, to gain support, to meet new people, to try new experiences, to develop a new way of thinking.

For me, this display of ‘vulnerability’ says I am in no way weak; this says I have power and strength.

Everyone experiences fear. And to be vulnerable – to openly share or to openly ask for help; to openly admit that which you don’t know or even that which you love with no knowledge of whether there will be reciprocity – is power.

Vulnerability embraces boundaries and trust. Being vulnerable does take courage. But I totally believe it is worth it on so many levels. To quiet the quickening mind, to share our thoughts, feelings and opinions honestly, to connect with others who have earned the right to hear our stories.

If you have the strength to show your true self within business, what an incredible gift and behavioural model this is to others. And that means embracing and allowing to be shown to the outside world your vulnerability.

Keep the hard skills, because without them, you don’t have a business. But allow yourself to be the one thing that is most necessary to succeed in the long run.

You.

COLD COMFORT

‘We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I do not want to” and “it is too difficult” that we forget to realise when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.’ - Pandora Poikilos, author of Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out.

I was fortunate enough to spend yesterday morning listening to someone truly inspirational – Gearoid Towey, the Irish Olympic athlete and Atlantic adventurer – talking about the ‘adventurer mindset’. This is a man who not only has repre-sented his country at the highest level of elite sport – for twelve years at Olympic level – but who also attempted to cross the Atlantic in a 23 foot rowing boat. His courage and enthusiasm and inner fire made me think about my own love of challenges (Tough Mudder definitely springs to mind!), but more importantly what it means when we don’t take chances.

What happens when we stay within The Comfort Zone?

What does being in a comfort zone mean to you? Does it mean that you are stable, and able to cope with day to day life without feeling overwhelmed? Maybe – but what it also means is a lack of ability, or perhaps a lack of opportunity, to evolve. It means staying static, not changing, not growing.

Imagine if the late Steve Jobs hadn’t gone back to Apple as its CEO. If he hadn’t invested in PiXAR. If he had been happy to say ‘well, I tried – and it didn’t work, so I will just stay where I think I may be comfortable.’

No iMac. No iPhone. No iPad. No visionary steering Apple to extraodinary heights.

Think of Instagram launching despite a declining market and against all advice. As Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said, Instagram was a company with “lots of buzz but no business model” – but it didn’t stop him from buying it for US$-1billion in September 2012. He recognised the potential of what its creators had seen from the start. And they only saw it because they were prepared to take a chance. They stepped a long way out of their comfort zone – or should that be #comfortzone?

There is no denying that stepping out of the safety of where you are most comfortable is scary as hell. It often means big ups and downs – a rollercoaster rather than a gentle turn on the merry-go-round. You will probably feel as though you are without a safety net much of the time, and that can be extremely confronting.

But just imagine the possibilities.

In business, and in life, there is no free ride. However, we get fantastic opportunities if we are lucky, and often we are too ‘comfy’ to recognise them for what they are. It is those people who are willing to challenge themselves, who make them-selves accountable for their own success, and ultimately their own happiness – who recognise that the need to reach that little bit further or higher – who end up with the biggest satisfaction.

See yourself as an adventurer – take the leap. You may stumble a little, admittedly – but ultimately?

You will fly.

THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING

“Unlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not lose his being in the society in which he lives. Man’s life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of his self.” - B. R. Ambedkar

I am, as most people who are aware of my business philosophy will realise, a massive fan of the collaborative approach when it comes to business. Without collaboration, and cooperation, and partnership, and mutual respect – what is there really? What point is there in being in business, apart from slogging away at the bottom line day after day?

I am a believer in partnerships. In the give and take of business relationships – and yes, the incorporation of friendship within said business models. Some people scoff at me for this, and say that it leads to grief; I say that if you can’t enjoy the journey, what is the end point about?

But I admit there are times when despite all the collaboration and partnerships and mutual work, it comes down to one thing; you. If you aren’t tough enough, and savvy enough, and have enough chutzpah and smarts and business acumen to see the lay of the land – then all the collaboration in the world is not enough to make your business succeed.

Sometimes what is needed is a collaboration with yourself. And to work alone; even if it means alienating some people who are used to you constantly propping them up.

You need to ensure that you are not just giving out ideas and intelligence to others, but are investing strategically in your own growth at the same time – and in fact concentrating on it. Don’t be so caught up in being helpful and partnering for performance with your colleagues that you neglect your own business. Make sure that the focus is firmly on yourself.

Don’t be afraid to be selfish. You can rest assured that everyone else is thinking of one thing first and foremost – themselves. You need to ensure that your own business doesn’t suffer out of respect for other people.

Does this sound harsh? Perhaps. But you have a business goal. You have set your mind to succeed. This doesn’t mean trampling on the fingers of those who are helping you on your journey; what it does mean is making sure that your own digits are safely out of the stiletto zone.

Sometimes there is only one hand clapping – but it still makes a sound. A big sound. Because the hand that is clapping is yours; and there’s only one, because the other fist is punching the air.

Don’t be afraid of being lonely occasionally in business. Those who you support, and who are genuine in their commitment, will support you back. And those who drop off?

I bet they can’t clap properly anyway.

Trust in yourself. Do your own thing. Be the best you can be. And thrive.

And give yourself a clap!

PRIVATE ENEMY NUMBER ONE

‘But I do nothing upon myself, yet I am my own executioner’ – John Donne

I’d like you to think of a part of the safety demonstration that flight attendants must always perform at the start of each and every flight you go on (at least I hope that this happens on each and every flight, for your sake).

‘In the case of an emergency, oxygen masks will drop from a compartment above your heads. Fit the mask to yourself first, and then assist others’.

If we had our children or loved ones with us, who were incapacitated or unable to help themselves in some way, I ask you this; how many of us would obey the flight attendants’ instructions?

I am almost prepared to bet my life (and my own oxygen mask) that the answer is ‘none’.

The reason? We are, through a culture of learning to put others before ourselves – whether in our personal lives or our business lives – often guilty of being our own worst enemies. It may not be conscious, and it may not be intentional, but my goodness we are so very good at it.

Which means, when we look in the mirror, often we don’t like what we see – either physically or metaphysically.

We are so used to being responsible for the needs of others. For our families; our partners; our staff. We are used to looking after problems both at home and at work. To making sure that budgets balance – whether that be on a micro level or a macro. We run households, corporate divisions, corporations themselves, our own businesses. We look after the development and growth of our children, our work colleagues, our up and coming protegees - and usually as a result, the person who gets shoved to the background and left to not develop or grow is us.

And in many ways, it is our own fault.

How often do you find yourself so tired that the keys to the car end up in the fridge, and the milk somewhere completely unexpected? I bet you have, like me, walked into the supermarket with a specific list – and walked out again an hour later without having purchased a thing on said list and yet having spent a few hundred dollars. Either that or just not being able to face it at all because your brain is screaming ‘enough!’

Maybe you have started losing your temper unexpectedly and without provocation. Or you are not giving your best work – and you know it.

These are all signs of self-sabotage through giving too much to others and not being kind enough to ourselves.

And because it is self-sabotage, we are the ones who need to fix it.

There is time when we need to say ‘enough now’. This is not being selfish; this is called self-care. And we have to be responsible for ourselves and take action when things get to this stage, because we do everyone in our lives – in business and personally – a disservice when we refuse to admit that we are pushing ourselves to the limit.

Take a break. Recharge the batteries. Oxygenate your brain! It may be for half an hour – it may be for a week. But don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first. Because in the end a little TLC will benefit everyone in your life.

Especially you.

And the person you see in the mirror may just look like your friend again, and not someone you could cheerfully throw a punch at.

CHANGE IS COMING - ARE YOU READY?

The business landscape has changed forever. We are no longer living in the era of the industrial revolution where factories need to stay open 24/7 with the male as the main breadwinner whilst women stayed at home. Economic changes, dynamic family structures, globalisation and the digital revolution have changed society forever.

Increasing numbers of women are entering higher education than ever before, more women are entering and staying in the workforce – either corporately or setting up their own ventures – and women are becoming increasingly wealthy.

And whilst the business statistics referencing the numbers of women in senior positions and at CEO level isn’t at all encouraging, I believe change is happening and will happen organically due to the demands of society.

Leaders and organisations have to be ready for the changes that are happening and I am not sure they are. An evolution is needed in corporates and businesses to enable equity in the workforce and at home.

Here’s what I think needs to change:

• Emotional intelligence will need to be combined with economic intelligence.• There will be an increasing need to care for human capital as much as financial capital.• Leaders will need to be quick thinkers, decision makers and yet open to change and flexible.• To keep up with the speed of change it will be impossible to get everything right first time – leaders

will need to have a willingness to not get perfection immediately but to allow perfection to evolve, keeping it real.

• Leadership will be more about collaboration and less about hierarchy and position.• Leaders will need to be willing to share, to mentor others, to guide and to take a step back.• They will need to adopt a more honest and open approach – to be honest there is no room for hiding

behind the desk in the corner office or a title anymore.• They will need to create leaders in others and leadership around them.• AND FOR ME , this mean leaders will need to have an inner confidence, a self belief and ability to

trust themselves.

Does a traditional masculine approach to business and leadership fit these needs being demanded of organisations and leaders?

We have to start getting in touch with our uniqueness as women, tapping in to the unique feminine leadership that we all have, trusting it and working in collaboration with each other as women and with men to achieve our own goals and success.

It’s about a collaboration, a combination and an acceptance of feminine and masculine leadership.

I have had the pleasure of meeting, interviewing, working with and reading about some incredible people. Their secrets of success and how they have evolved within the changing landscape will be shared in my next blog.

But for now remember:

“A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

DEAR NEW BUSINESS ME...

WITH LOVE FROM ME

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.” - C JoyBell C

Dear New Business Me,

You are doing so well. And I am really proud of you. You are successful, and a leader, and really forging a path in terms of showing what a change maker in the business arena should do. Well done you (or me?).

But what could you have done along the way if only you had had these guidelines from yourself to help you! I apologise that I didn’t have the experience that we have now. But hindsight is of course 20/20. However, in case time travel becomes a possibility… here are your top 8 tips to yourself for making success happen with, if not ease, then some grace and perhaps a bit less stress!

1. Success is a mindset. Never forget this. Throughout the years you will experience the good, the bad and the downright ugly in terms of business and what you can expect from those involved in it; but through it all self belief, a positive attitude, seeing the opportunity to learn – and having a mindset for success – that will be key.

2. Be courageous in everything you do. Have the courage to stand in your own spotlight; to use your voice, to ask for help and to be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to be different, and to challenge the status quo – because it is through the challenge that change happens.

3. Understand what makes up your value system and own it. Live it. WORK it. Your value system is unique to you and it is your responsibility to take ownership. There are times when it will be challenged or when you will give in to others’ values – and you will look back and kick yourself, and wish you had trusted your intuition. That intuition, that gut feeling? Don’t ever mistrust it. It is a key part of you, and you should learn that it is one of your best assets. Ignore it at your peril.

4. Be persistent through the good and the bad. Persistence will be the extra oomph where others may crumble. Wasn’t it Thomas Edison who said ‘genius is ninety nine percent perspiration, one percent inspiration’? He was right. It is hard work which gets you where you want to go. Inspiration and dreams are absolutely essential to making your story happen – but unless you are prepared to dedicate yourself to that story, it will never jump off the page and into real life.

5. Find your tribe. Don’t try to fit in with others simply because you think you should. You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself most closely with. So make the most of those people. Find like-minded thinkers, believers and dreamers. Work together. Collaborate. Support each other. Make the journey fun as well as hard work. It will be so much more enjoyable and far more possible.

6. Look after yourself! You will forget this at times, I know, especially in the early stages, when you are trying to get things up and running. True success is a reflection of total vitality. Allow yourself the time to celebrate every little stage and each small achievement, to dream, to create, to rest and above all to think.

7. View learning and study as an investment. Learn continuously. Keep your eyes and ears open to everything around you. Recognise the gifts that are presented to you – to us – every day. See the value in the people you meet. Question them. Question their wealth of knowledge. Take in every available resource. Never ever lose sight of your goals – to know as much as you can about your business, your industry, your world.

8. Above all else – Plan. When you have made a plan, make another plan. And then have a contingency plan. Above all – be prepared to make those plans fluid. Five year plans – they are fantastic. But they cannot be rigid. You will find your life, in business and generally, will change at a quick fire pace. You need to be prepared for this. Planning in advance is only going to be to your advantage. You need to be able to flow and change according to circumstances though, and be willing to suit circumstances.

Enjoy the business ride, dear Me.

I know I did.

And do.

WELCOME TO CRAZYTOWN:

“What I love most about this crazy life is the adventure of it” – Juliette Binoche

I was reading a chapter of Sheryl Sandberg’s fabulous book, Lean In, last night, and she was commenting on the pressures of having it all – and saying, quite rightly that this is an impossibility. It reinforced a comment at the Sydney LBD dinner the other night, where someone said ‘welcome to Crazytown’. It has made me reflect just how hard we are on ourselves in terms of what we are ‘supposed’ to achieve.

A clean house. Perfectly behaved children. The ideal relationship. And all this whilst being a business superwoman.

Sorry, but that just doesn’t fly with me.

My house is generally speaking, a bit – well, untidy. As the working week goes on – and to be quite frank, as most women with their own businesses or trying to scale the corporate ladder would know, the working week is 7 days – it gets messier. I have an ironing pile that is a close imitation of Mount Vesuvius just before it took out Pompeii. Last week, I cheerfully admit to forgetting to give my children their school lunches. On Friday night, my kids and my husband copped a very loud (and fairly long) stream of ‘not happy’ as something work-related went pearshaped.

And that’s just home stuff. As for work…

The sad thing is, that this is all, when it comes down to it, fairly trivial stuff. But the pressure to be the best of the best in every area of our lives is something that we, as women in the twenty first century, can’t seem to shake. And even sadder, we tend to put it on each other by not being prepared to say “it just doesn’t matter”.

This needs to stop. And it needs to stop now, because nobody is Superwoman. No woman has an ideal life. And no woman should be expected to.

We need to start embracing our perceived ‘weaknesses’ and realise that being vulnerable, and human, is not a bad thing. Being able to say ‘this is nuts’ is OK. It doesn’t make you less of a person. It makes you real.

I am happy to say ‘my house is untidy’. Because is it impacting on my happiness? Is it impacting on my children’s ability to enjoy life? When it comes down to it, will my partner care?

No. Because if I am not worrying about appearing as the perfect woman, then I am not stressed. I am not constantly cross, and worrying about what others think of me. I am more relaxed, and fun, and interested in what is going on around me. I am more able to deal with work challenges (which are also not the end of the world – even though they might feel like it at the time!).

We need to reinforce to each other as women how amazing we are – because it’s simply not happening enough. We need to say ‘men aren’t expected to deal with this, and they generally aren’t reinforcing this stereotype, so why are we?’

Say hello to Crazytown – but rather than seeing it as a bad place to be, see it as a place of refuge. Everyone is entitled to be a bit out of control.

Because that’s real life – so choose that. Not an unrealistic fantasy. Now, where did I put my iron… ha!

All material is copyright Janine M Garner and LBDG 2012 and 2013 and may not be reproduced without express

permission of the author.

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