THE 2013 STORY OF HERCULES AND THE NEMEAN LIONBy David KennedyEbookitized by Charles Gillingham

David Shearer, the cowardly weakling who had become Prime Minister of Wellington after John Key was banished, lived in the mighty mansion of Tawa, whose great walls had been built by the Hobos. When Mr. Hercules arrived at Tawa, and told David Shearer of Apollo’s message, the Prime Minister was delighted. “I’ll make sure you work hard, sonny boy!” Said David, rubbing his hands with glee, “Although I doubt you will make it through all the tasks, for your first job is…” David paused and pulled out his iPad to check.“Ah, there we go, Safari,

www.twelvelabours.com... Home… Oooohh. Ouch.”Mr. Hercules was getting impatient. “Is something wrong?” he asked politely. Without looking up, David Shearer chuckled.“Nothing wrong with me!” he said mischievously, “but maybe you have a problem. You’re first task will be to bring me the body of the Trentham Lion.” Mr. Hercules shivered at the name, for the Trentham Lion had fallen from the moon, and was now terrorizing the land, especially the unfortunate school, HIBS. Its body was stronger than tungsten carbide itself. Many soldiers have tried to kill the beast, but sadly, bullets and artillery just

bounce off the Lions hide. “It will be done, Prime Minister”And so Mr. Hercules set off, carrying his GPS, a pistol, and a lightsaber.“Ahem!” David Shearer coughed.“What?!” said Mr. Hercules, with an annoyed look on his face.“It’s the lightsaber” replied David, “they haven’t been invented yet till 2930, so you have to take the sword”.Mr. Hercules groaned. “Aww…” After many days of hitchhiking, Mr. Hercules finally reached Trentham, ignoring the half torn billboards that say ‘BEWARE THE LION’. He wondered where the Lion would be, when suddenly there was a scream

from a year 7 boy. Mr. Hercules rushed over to the voice, which was at the bottom of D block in HIBS. The cornered boy was waiting the inevitable with the Lion just above him, snarling. Mr. Hercules’ reflexes took over, releasing a deadly hail of bullets at the Lion, which harmlessly bounced off. Mr. Hercules had to do something, so he yelled a couple of insults he had learned from his Dad.“Hey Lion! Yo Mamma so ugly, her hair on her chest is fluffier than a Lions mane! Wait a minute… that’s not really an insult to you, is it…” SMACK! The Lion had pounced while Mr. Hercules was distracted, who was now on the other side of A block. Mr. Hercules knew now that

the Lion was pretty much indestructible on the outside, so he thought he might try hitting him on the inside. BAM! An idea hit him. Or, to be precise, the Lions paw hit him. Mr. Hercules had to act fast. Summoning all of his voice, he roared.“Roar!!!!!!!!”The Trentham Lion stopped, with a muzzled look on his muzzle (excuse the terrible pun please). He must have thought it was a contest so he shouted back.“RRRRROOOOOAAAA…” the Lion was cut off by Mr. Hercules’ sword, or, actually, his throat was cut off. The Lion fell to the ground, dead. Mr. Hercules smiled. Suddenly he felt a

little tug on his shirt. He turned around. It was the little year 7 whom he had rescued.“He-hello Sir, could I please…”“Have my autograph?” replied Mr. Hercules, “Sure!”“No Sir,” said the boy, “An autograph would be nice, but could you please write a story about this adventure and give it to me? It’s for my reading log.”Mr. Hercules grinned “sure! What’s your name, little fella?”“David Kennedy Sir and I think the people who read this story will enjoy it”. And you did, didn’t you?

THE END