the 129 best

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The 129 Best

ThingsAnyone Ever Said

Apostolos Karanikolos

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No one thing is true. Its all true.

Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961) Americanauthor, 1954 Nobel Prize in literature

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Table of Contents

Introduction, 4Wit, 5Wisdom, 20Humor, 37

Index, 53Bushido Code, 57

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Introduction

Thank you for your interest in this book. Itreally contains the 129 best things anyone eversaid in the subjects of Wit-Wisdom-Humor.

This free book is a part of the bigger book withthe 529 best things anyone ever said.

For a small cost the bigger book is available athttp://en.Mr-Wit.eu

In the end of the book youll find the authorsindex and the Bushido code.

Apostolos KaranikolosJanuary 26, 2009
http://en.mr-wit.eu/

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Chapter1 - Wit

>> Wit: the ability to use words and ideasin a clever, amusing and imaginative way.

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-1-

There will be a time when youll believethat everything is finished. That will be the

beginning.Louis lAmour (1908-1988) American writer

-2-

In every phenomenon the beginningremains always the most notable moment.

Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer

-3-

I saw the angel in the marble and carveduntil I set him free.

Michelangelo (1475-1564) Italian sculptor

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-4-

We are each of us angels with only onewing, and we can only fly by embracing

one another.

Luciano de Crescenzo (1928- ) Italian writer

-5-

Absence diminishes mediocre loves andincreases great ones, as the wind

extinguishes candles and fans fires.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)French writer

-6-

Ignorance is the night of the mind, but anight without moon and without stars.

Confucius (551-479 bC) Chinese philosopher

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-7-

The truth is a living thing. This living thingis what you actually are.

Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986) Indianphilosopher

-8-

The opposite of a correct statement is afalse statement. But the opposite of aprofound truth may well be another

profound truth.

Niels Bohr (1885-1962) Danish physicist, 1922

Nobel Prize in physics

-9-

A dead thing can go with the stream, but

only a living thing can go against it.

Gilbert K. Chesterton (1874-1936) Englishwriter

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-13-

One never goes so far as when one doesntknow where one is going.

Johan Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) Germandramatist

-14-

Whatever you do will be insignificant, butit is most important that you do it.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian leader

-15-Laughter is the closest distance betweentwo people.

Victor Borge (1909-2000) Danish pianist

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-16-

I have always thought that every womanshould marry, and no man.

Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) British politician

-17-

You do not inherit the earth of yourancestors, you borrow it from your

children.

Antoine de Saint Exupery (1900-1944) Frenchnovelist

-18-

Having children makes you no more aparent than having a piano makes you a

pianist.

Michael Levine (1954- ) American writer

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-12-

-19-

He knows nothing and thinks he knowseverything. That points clearly to a

political career.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish

playwright, 1925 Nobel Prize in literature

-20-

Each person is guilty for all the good hedidn't do.

Voltaire (1694-1778) French writer

-21-

A diamond with a flaw is worth more thana pebble without imperfections.

Chinese proverb

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-22-

If you think you are too small to make adifference, try sleeping in a closed room

with a mosquito.

14th Dalai Lama (1935- ) head of state of Tibet,

1989 Nobel peace Prize

-23-

Think like a man of action, act like a man

of thought.

Henri L. Bergson (1859-1941) Frenchphilosopher, 1927 Nobel Prize in literature

-24-

Lead me, follow me or get out of my way.

George S. Patton (1885-1945) Americangeneral

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-25-

Do not go where the path may lead, goinstead where there is no path and leave a

trail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American

poet

-26-

Experience is not what happens to a man;

it is what a man does with what happensto him.

Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) British writer

-27-

The trouble with the world is that thestupid are cocksure and the intelligent are

full of doubt.

Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) Britishphilosopher, 1950 Nobel Prize in literature

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-28-

We dont stop playing because we get old;we get old because we stop playing.

Nana (age 103)

-29-

It is not because things are difficult thatwe do not dare; it is because we do not

dare that they are difficult.

Seneca the elder (54 bC-39) Roman orator

-30-

Either write something worth reading or dosomething worth writing.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American

diplomat

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-31-

Keep a green tree in your heart, andperhaps a songbird will come.

Chinese proverb

-32-

Truthful words are not beautiful, beautifulwords are not truthful. Good words are not

convincing, convincing words are not good.

Lao-Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher,founder of Taoism

-33-

More than polite is rude.

Japanese proverb

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-17-

-34-

Dont let one cloud obliterate the wholesky.

Anais Nin (1903-1977) French writer

-35-

The eye sees only what the mind isprepared to comprehend.

Henri L. Bergson (1859-1941) Frenchphilosopher, 1927 Nobel Prize in literature

-36-

Beauty is the wisdom of women. Wisdom isthe beauty of men.

Chinese proverb

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-37-

The center of every man's existence is adream.

G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English writer

-38-

When you reach the top, keep climbing.

Zen proverb

-39-

When you are born, you cry and the worldis happy. When you die, you are happy and

the world is crying.

Tibetan proverb

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-40-

The sharpest sword is a word spoken inwrath.

Gautama Buddha (568-488 bC) founder ofBuddhism

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Chapter2- Wisdom

>> Wisdom: the ability, developed throughexperience, insight and reflection, to

discern truth and exercise good judgment.

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-41-

The beginning of wisdom is the awarenessof our ignorance.

Cleobulus (circa 560 bC) one of the 7 sages ofGreece

-42-

There are no big things. Only small thingswith big love.

Mother Teresa (1910-1997) Albanian nun, 1979Nobel peace Prize

-43-

Believe and act like it is impossible to fail.

Charles Kettering (1876-1958) Americaninventor

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-22-

-44-

It is impossible to speak in such a way thatyou cannot be misunderstood.

Karl Popper (1902-1994) Austrian philosopher

-45-

The greatest truths cannot be put inwords.

Lao-Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher-founder of Taoism

-46-

All truth passes through three stages.First, it is ridiculed, second it is violentlyopposed, and third, it is accepted as self-

evident.

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) Germanphilosopher

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-23-

-47-

No one thing is true. Its all true.

Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961) Americanauthor, 1954 Nobel Prize in literature

-48-

Do not look where you fell, but where youslipped.

African proverb

-49-

For the things we have to learn before wecan do them, we learn by doing them.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

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-24-

-50-

If you want to be happy, be.

Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian writer

-51-

The greatest gain is to give to others; thegreatest loss is to greedily receive without

gratitude.


-52-

The true measure of a man is how hetreats someone who can do him absolutely

no good.

Ann Landers (1918-2002) American advicecolumnist

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-25-

-53-

Man is born to live and not to prepare tolive.

Boris Pasternak (1890-1960) Russian poet

-54-

A single conversation with a wise man isbetter than ten years of study.

Chinese proverb

-55-

We judge ourselves by what we feelcapable of doing, while others judge us by

what we have done.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)American poet

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-56-

Man is not the sum of what he has already,but rather the sum of what he does not yet

have, of what he could have.

Jean Paul Sartre (1905-1980) French

philosopher

-57-

The limits of my language are the limits of

my mind. All I know is what I have wordsfor.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrianphilosopher

-58-

Those who have knowledge, dont predict.Those who predict dont have knowledge.

Lao Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher,founder of Taoism

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-27-

-59-

Facts do not cease to exist because theyare ignored.

Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) British writer

-60-

There is no king who has not had a slaveamong his ancestors, and no slave who has

not had a king among his.

Helen Keller (1880-1968) American deaf-blindeducator

-61-

The world is the totality of facts, not of

things.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrianphilosopher

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-28-

-62-

If you do the small jobs well, the big onestend to take care of themselves.

Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) Americanbusinessman

-63-

Bring your desires down to your presentmeans. Increase them only when your

increased means permit.


-64-

In protecting oneself, others are protected.In protecting others, oneself is protected.

Gautama Buddha (568-488 bC) founder of

Buddhism

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-29-

-65-

We do not smile because something goodhas happened; rather something good

happens because we smile.

Japanese proverb

-66-

They can because they think they can.

Virgil (70-19 bC) Roman poet

-67-

The rainbow would be even more beautifulif the show was not for free.

Netherlands Antilles proverb

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-30-

-68-

To be deeply loved gives you strength, tolove deeply gives you courage.


-69-

Courage is the first of human qualitiesbecause it is the quality that guarantees

the others.


-70-

First learn the meaning of what you say,and then speak.

Epictetus (55-135) Greek philosopher

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-31-

-71-

Raise your sail one foot and you get tenfeet of wind.

Chinese proverb

-72-

No one could make a greater mistake thanhe who did nothing because he could do

only a little.

Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish politician

-73-

In all things success depends on previouspreparation, and without such previouspreparation there is sure to be failure.

Confucius (551-479 bC) Chinese philosopher

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-32-

-74-

An advice is as good as the person thatgives it.

Francisco Goya (1746-1828) Spanish painter

-75-

We need to be the change we wish to seein the world.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian politicalleader

-76-

Everything that irritates us about otherscan lead us to an understanding of

ourselves.

Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) Swisspsychiatrist

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-33-

-77-

When the pupil is ready to learn, a teacherwill appear.

Zen proverb

-78-

You can discover more about a person inan hour of play than in a year of

conversation.

Plato (427-347 bC) Greek philosopher

-79-

Except our own thoughts, there is nothingabsolutely in our power.

Rene Descartes (1596-1650) French

philosopher

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-34-

-80-

There is strong shadow where there ismuch light.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) Germandramatist

-81-

Nothing is so firmly believed as what isleast known.

Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) French writer

-82-

At the center of your being you have theanswer; you know who you are and you

know what you want.


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-83-

We promise according to our hopes andperform according to our fears.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)French author

-84-

Fear cannot be without hope nor hopewithout fear.

Baruch Spinoza (1632-1677) Dutch philosopher

-85-

There is no way to happiness. Happiness isthe way.


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-86-

Practice yourself, for heaven's sake, inlittle things; and thence proceed to

greater.

Epictetus (55-135) Greek philosopher

-87-

We should give as we would receive,cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation.

Seneca the elder (54 bC 39) Roman orator

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Chapter3- Humor

>> Humor: the ability or quality of

people, objects or situations to evokeemotions or entertainment to other

people.

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-88-

In the beginning the Universe was created.This has made a lot of people very angryand been widely regarded as a bad move.

Douglas Adams (1952-2001) English writer

-89-

Only those who attempt the absurd...willachieve the impossible. I think...I think it'sin my basement...Let me go upstairs and

check.

Maurits Escher (1898-1972) Dutch artist

-90-

Your work is good and original. But thepart that is good is not original and the

part that is original is not good.

Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer

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-39-

-91-

If everything is under control, you aregoing too slowly.

Mario Andretti (1940- ) American racecar driver

-92-

Dont gamble; take all your savings andbuy some good stock and hold it till it goes

up, then sell it. If it doesnt go up, dontbuy it.

Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist

-93-

If you find yourself in a fair fight, youdidnt plan it properly.

Nick Lappos Chief R&D pilot

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-94-

If money doesnt make you happy give itback.

Jules Renard (1864-1910) French writer

-95-

There is no human problem which couldnot be solved if people would simply do as

I advise.

Gore Vidal (1925- ) American novelist

-96-

Presidents Nixon motto was: if twowrongs dont make a right, try three.

Norman Cousins (1915-1990) American politicaljournalist

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-41-

-97-

It is even harder for the average ape tobelieve that he has descended from man.

George S. Patton (1885-1945) AmericanGeneral

-98-

Show me a sane man and I will cure him.

Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist

-99-

I hate advice unless I'm giving it.

Jack Nicholson (1937- ) American actor

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-100-

I never lend books, because nobody everreturns them. The only books I have in mylibrary are the ones other people lent me.

Anatole France (1844-1924) French writer

-101-

One day I went to the dentist. He said SayAaah. I said Why? He said My dogs

died.

Tim Vine (1967- ) British comedian

-102-

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and Isaid I want a second opinion. He said okay,

youre ugly too.

Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) Americanactor

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-43-

-103-

Of course theres a lot of knowledge inuniversities: the freshmen bring a little in;

the seniors dont take much away, soknowledge sort of accumulates.

Abbott Lawrence Lowell (1856-1943) Americaneducator

-104-

Basically my first wife was very immature.Id be at home in the bath and shed come

in and sink my boats.

Woody Allen (1935- ) American film director

-105-

I drink no more than a sponge.

Francois Rabelais (1492-1553) French writer

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-106-

I am not sincere, not even when I say I amnot.

Jules Renard (1864-1910) French writer

-107-

I have enough money for the rest of mylife, unless I buy something.

Jackie Mason (1931- ) American comedian

-108-

I have nothing, owe a great deal, and therest I leave to the poor.

Francois Rabelais (1492-1553) French writer

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-45-

-109-

I hate housework! You make the beds, youdo the dishes - and six months later you

have to start all over again.

Joan Rivers (1933- ) American comedian

-110-

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comedian

-111-

When I was kidnapped, my parentssnapped into action. They rented out my

room.

Woody Allen (1935- ) American film director

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-112-

Look alive. Here comes a buzzard.

Walt Kelly (1913-1977) American cartoonist

-113-

It was wonderful to work for WolfgangPauli. You could ask him anything. You

didnt have to wonder if your question was

stupid, since he believed that all questionswere stupid.

Victor Frederick Weisskopf (1908- ) Americanbiologist

-114-My life has no purpose, no direction, noaim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I

cant figure it out. What am I doing right?

Charles Schulz (1922-2000) Americancartoonist

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-47-

-115-

I was x years old in the year x^2.

Augustus De Morgan (1806-1871) Britishmathematician, when asked for his age

-116-

I was so ugly when I was born; the doctorslapped my mother.

Henny Youngman (1906-1998) Americancomedian

-117-

Are you going to come along quietly, or amI going to have to use ear plugs?

Terence Alan Milligan (1918-2002) Irishcomedian

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-48-

-118-

Fill whats empty, empty whats full, andscratch where it itches.

The Duchess of Windsor when asked what is thesecret of a long and happy life

-119-

The Mexicans gave the Spaniards malaria,and the Spaniards gave the Mexicans

smallpox, whooping cough, diphtheria, andsyphilis. The Spaniards believed it was

better to give than to receive.

Will Cuppy (1884-1949) American humorist

-120-

A computer once beat me at chess, but itwas no match for me at kick boxing.

Emo Philips (1956- ) American entertainer

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-49-

-121-

Its so simple to be wise. Just think ofsomething stupid to say and then don't say

it.

Sam Levenson (1911-1980) American humorist

-122-

My grandfather always said, "Don't watchyour money; watch your health". So one

day while I was watching my health,someone stole my money. It was my

grandfather.

Jackie Mason (1931- ) American comedian

-123-

Andrew Lloyd Weber gave to music whatBombarder Harris gave to gardening.

Miles Kingston (1941- ) British music critic

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-124-

Women and Cats will do as they please.Men and dogs had better get used to it.

Robert Heinlein (1907-1988) American sciencefiction writer

-125-

When I turned two I was really anxious,because Id doubled my age in a year. I

thought, if this keeps up, by the time Imsix Ill be ninety.

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

-126-

I told my mother-in-law that my housewas her house and she said: Get the hell

out of my property.

Joan Rivers (1933- ) American comedienne

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-127-

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats lookdown to us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill (1874-1965) Britishstatesman, 1953 Nobel Prize in literature

-128-

I do not object when people look at theirwatches when I speak, but I have seriousobjections when they shake them to make

sure they are working.

Lord Birkett (1883-1962) British judge

-129-

Christmas at my house is always at leastsix or seven times more pleasant than

anywhere else. We start drinking early.And while everyone else is seeing only oneSanta Claus, well be seeing six or seven.

W.C. Fields (1880-1946) American comedian

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Index

AAdams, Douglas, 88Allen, Woody, 104-111Andretti, Mario, 91

Aristotle, 50-64-70

BBaba, Sathya Sai, 10Bergson, Henri L., 23-35Birkett, Lord, 128Bohr, Niels, 8Borge, Victor, 15Buddha, Gautama, 40-51-64-85Burke, Edmund, 72

CCarnegie, Dale, 62Carlyle, Thomas, 2Chesterton, G. K., 9-37Churchill, Winston, 127Cleobulus, 41Confucius, 6-73Cousins, Norman, 97Cuppy, Will, 119

D

Dalai Lama, 22Dangerfield, Rodney, 102Descartes, Rene, 79Disraeli, Benjamin, 16Duchess, of Windsor, 118

EEmerson, Ralph Waldo, 25Epictetus, 70-86

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Escher, Maurits, 89

FFields, W. C., 129France, Anatole, 100Franklin, Benjamin, 30

GGandhi, Mahatma, 14-75Goethe, Johan Wolfgang, 13-80Goya, Francisco, 74Guitry, Sacha, 12

HHeinlein, Robert, 124Hemingway, Ernest, 47Huxley, Aldous, 26-59

JJohnson, Samuel, 90Jung, Carl Gustav, 76-98

KKeller, Helen, 60Kelly, Walt, 112Kettering, Charles, 43Kingston, Miles, 123Krishnamurti, Jiddu, 7

LLAmour, Louis, 1Landers, Ann, 52Lao Tzu, 32-45-58-68-82Lappos, Nick, 93Levenson, Sam, 121Levine, Michael, 18Lewin, Kurt, 11

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Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth, 55Lowell, Abbott Lawrence, 103

MMarx, Groucho, 110Mason, Jackie, 107-11

Michelangelo, 3Milligan, Terence Allan, 117Montaigne, Michel de, 81Morgan, Augustus de, 115

NNana, 28Nicholson, Jack, 99Nin, Anais, 34

PPasternak, Boris, 53Patton, George S., 24-97Philips, Emo, 120Plato, 78Popper, Karl, 44Proverb, African, 48Proverb, Chinese, 21-31-36-54-71Proverb, Dutch Antilles, 67Proverb, Japanese, 33-65Proverb, Tibetan, 39Proverb, Zen, 38-77

RRabelais, Franois, 105-108Renard, Jules, 94-106Rivers, Joan, 109-126Rochefoucauld, Franois, 5-83Rogers, Will, 92Russell, Bertrand, 27

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SSaint-Exupery, Antoine de, 17Sartre, Jean Paul, 56Schopenhauer, Arthur, 46Schulz, Charles, 114Seneca (the elder), 87

Shaw, George Bernard, 19Spinoza, Baruch, 84

Teresa, Mother, 42Tolstoy, Leo, 50

VVidal, Gore, 95Vine, Tim, 101Virgil, 66Voltaire, 20

WWeisskopf, Victor Frederick, 113Wittgenstein, Ludwig, 57-61Wright, Steven, 125

YYoungman, Henny, 116

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The BushiDo code

Bushido, meaning Way of the Warrior,is a Japanese code of conduct and the wayof the samurai life, loosely analogous to theconcept of chivalry. It originates from thesamurai moral code and stresses frugality,loyalty, martial arts mastery and honour untodeath. Born of two main influences, the violentexistence of the Samurai was tempered by thewisdom and serenity of Confucianism andBuddism. Bushido developed between the 9th to12th centuries.

-1- I have no parents.The sky and the earth are my parents.

-2- I have no power.Honor is my power.

-3- I have no means.Discipline is my means.

-4- I have no magic power.The internal force is my magic.

-5- I have neither life nor death.The eternal is my life and my death.

-6- I have no body.Bravery is my body.

-7- I have no eyes.Lightning is my eyes.

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-8- I have no ears.Sensitivity is my ears.

-9- I have no parts.Swiftness is my parts.

-10- I have no goals.Opportunity is my goals.

-11- I have no miracles.Destiny is my miracle.

-12- I have no principles.Adaptability in all situations is my principle.

-13- I have no friends.The mind is my friend.

-14- I have no enemies.Ignorance is my enemy.

-15- I have no armor.Will and justice are my armor.

-16- I have no castle.The calmness of my mind is my castle.

-17- I have no sword.

The dream of my spirit is my sword.

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