ISSN 2284 – 6549 ISSN–L = 2284 – 6549

Editor-in-ChiEf: SIMONA MIHALCA

Editors: Mihnea SăvuleScu

nina MoSkowitz

RuxandRa SevaStin

andReea albuleScu

hannah blaga

Michela SeReni

elix Rae

ShaRon

caSiana conStantin

CovEr dEsign: andRada galan

dEsign: andRada galan

We reserve the right to select the submissions received before publishing.

contact:www.teen.artout.roteen@artout.ro

letteR FRoM the editoRSIMONA MIHALCA

INTERVIEW

alex PaScu (goodbyE to gravity) 6teodoRa ioniță (Ex-an thEos) 15

YOUR BODY IS A BATTLEGROUND

Right now, you aRe iMPeRFectly whole 27RuxANdRA SevAStIN

love iS Pain 31HANNAH BLAgA

addictive tendencieS 33eLIx RAe

deaR loveR 37NINA MOSkOwItz

oveRdoSe 41ANdReeA ALBuLeSCu

cheMicalS aRe ScatteRed ‘Round 44MICHeLA SeReNI

the vulneRability oF giRlS 49SHARON

a Peak in the Mind 53MIHNeA SAvuLeSu

youR body iS a battlegRound by delain 56CASIANA CONStANtIN

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LETTER FRoM the

editoR

youR body iS a battlegRound

Of all the battles going on in the world we pay the least attention to those happening inside us. Whether you look at it microscopically or on a global and maybe macro economical scale, there are many a fights you are not aware of. We invite you now and think about that, think about who you are, who you depend on. Think about your body and all it does for you, all the things it can do simultaneously in order to let you live a second more. And another. And another.

But what about the time when it malfunctions? You are faced with the limitations of your body.

You experience the difference between who you are and who you can be. You find yourself trapped. But then again, who are you? Are you the voice of reason, an electrical impulse in your brain, are you your body, the image others see of you, are you your emotions, chemical discharges in your brain?

For (almost) every affliction, there is something you can get: a pill, an injection, a treatment. You put your faith into any medicine, be it modern, be it alternative, be it traditional. And by doing so, you become a gear in a multi-billion system. The wheels go round and round and so do you.

This is not a number where we discuss medicine, as interesting as that might. Nor are we simply cynical about the industry. This is a number where we discuss about people, about their battles and how sometimes they happen on the battleground of their body. We discuss about their scars and bruises, their acceptance of their body, their wish to be more than it, their active minds and eager souls.

Your Body Is A Battleground!

Simona Mihalca Editor-in-Chief

INTERVIEW

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Goodbye to Gravity on launching their “Mantras of War” album

BY SIMONA MIHALCA TRANSLATION BY ELISA MAXIM

SM: What is the most daring, so to speak, thing in creating this album? How do you set your boundaries?

A.P.: I think the most daring project was the video we made for the song “Atonement” (link: http://bit.ly/1GfUDFx), but also our decision to mix it on SantoriniIsland, at Black Rock Studios.

S.M: You just launched your third single of the album “Mantras of War”. How do you choose your singles and what is their significance for you?

A.P.:‘The Day We Die’, the first single we launched, somehow encompasses the spirit of the album “Mantras of War” in one song.

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It has a fast pace, it’s aggressive and it has a catchy and, at the same time, epic refrain.

‘Shadow Puppets’ is a heavy song, on an even keel, which is slightly unconventional for us, but it had a large success when we sang it for the first time. So, we decided that would be one of the first singles we need to launch.

For me, ‘Atonement’ is the song that best describes the band’s evolution and, personally, it’s my favorite single from “Mantras of War”. ‘Atonement’ combines progressive fragments with a very catchy refrain – it is also very difficult to sing it live and we love challenges.

S.M: At the end of the month there will be the ‘Mantras of War’ launching concert which will have many special effects and many

special effects and many surprises. How did you decide upon this concept and what are your expectations from the audience?

A.P.: The concept of the concert came naturally – it’s a special event for us and we think fans deserve an extraordinary experience. It’s not just another concert. It’s celebrating three years of work at this new album and the event needs to look and sound as such. We want to do a great performance, of which people will remember for a long time to come. As for our expectations, we want many fans to come and, if they like what they see and hear, to support us by buying our album and merchandise.

S.M: A question you cannot get away with too soon. I have to mention that recently you announced that you signed with Universal Music Romania for this album. How important is, nowadays, to have a record company supporting you?

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“we want to do a gReat PeRFoRMance, oF which PeoPle will ReMeMbeR FoR a long tiMe to coMe. “

GTG: Our first album was produced by us. So we learnt what it means to produce and to digitally and physically distribute an album. It is not at all easy. That’s why we wanted the support of a professional team and we are pleased that Universal Music believed in us and offered us the chance to work with them.

S.M: GTG music is available on Deezer. What do you think about streaming websites? Do you think they are good for the (tn. music) industry?

A.P.: The ways in which people consume music are changing at an incredible pace. Any way through which the artist can be paid for his work is beneficial, especially in a downgrading industry like music industry. I am part of the “old guard”. I buy CDs and vinyl records,

but recently I signed up for an ac-count on Apple Music. I under-stand and recognize the advantag-es of streaming. Personally, I prefer the charm of traditional listening, experience which includes, in my view, giving a flick-through to a booklet or admiring an LP cover.

S.M: At the end of last year, you launched a video for the acoustic version of the song “Back to Life”. What taking part in an acoustic concert meant for you and how much would you like to repeat the experience?

A.P.: Honestly, it was extremely hard for us to adapt our songs for acoustic versions. At the same time, it was an interesting experience in which we brought the musicality of GTG songs to the fore. It was a suc-cessful concert and, why not, we’ll probably repeat this experiment at some point.

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S.M: While many bands and many people from the audience cannot conceive of the idea of a free entry concert or that of the first album given for free on your website, you are an exception. Does that mean you trust your audience more?

A.P.: I am not a great fan of free entry concerts. Unfortunately, lately there is an abundance of

concerts, especially during summer, with free entry and the public already thinks this is normal. After long discussions, we decided to offer free entry hoping we will gather more people for this launching. We did the same when we launched our first album at Silver Church, where fans bought an impressive number of CDs and merchandise. Surely, again we encourage fans now to buy the album at the concert so as to

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sustain the band’s efforts because that’s the only way we can go further towards the level we wish to achieve.

S.M: Already at your second album, with sufficient live experience, I would like to ask you if you are still nervous when you go up on the stage.

A.P.: Personally, I was never nervous (in the sense of stage fright) before performing. That does not mean we do not feel an immense joy during concerts. Being on stage and receiving the public’s energy is, I think, the most beautiful thing a musician can experience.

S.M: You had the chance to sing abroad. What do you think you learnt from this experience and how did it change you?

A.P: Firstly, I saw what is the level we need to achieve and, secondly,

the warm welcoming of the audience abroad strengthened our faith that what we do is a ‘competitive’ product on the European market.

S.M: What would be the dream destinations for your next tours?

A.P.: Any place where there is a PA, a stage, lights and many eager metalheads.

S.M: Several bands began to organize their own festivals. How would a Goodbye to Gravity festival look like?

A.P.: Definitely, the headliner would be IRON MAIDEN. As for the rest, there would be a mixture of bands, from alternative to black metal.

S.M: What are the concerts you took part in and you liked most? Is there something you will see in the following period that will stir you?

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A.P.: As a Maiden fan, obviously, the most beautiful memories I have are from their concerts. At some point in the future, I would like to see Tool and Ghost.

S.M: Is there in your playlist a guilty pleasure which might surprise us?

A.P.: Lady Gaga’s first album.

S.M: What are your favorite movies and books?

A.P.: Oh, complicated. I don’t think I have a favorite movie, but as series are concerned, definitely Breaking Bad is my favorite. All-time favorites at books, uh, that’s again a tough question which I don’t really know the answer to. I can only tell you that recently I enjoyed Gillian Flynn’s ‘Gone Girl’.

S.M: Who is the last person you asked for an autograph or a picture?

A.P.: In 2008, I got autographs from Judas Priest members on my bass guitar, but, unfortunately, I don’t have it anymore. I prefer having a pleasant conversation with a ‘star’ I have the chance to meet to asking for a picture or a signature.

S.M: Thank you!

A.P.: We also thank you and we are waiting for you at the launching concert.

(Facebook event here: https://www.facebook.com/events/739803732809828/)

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Jurnal ROCKby Simona Mihalca

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S.M.: Hello. It’s a pleasure to be talking to you. When did you first start playing an instrument? When did you know that you wanted to do this professionally?

T.I.: The first time I ever lay my hands on a musical instrument I was around 12 years old. At first (believe it or not) I was really interested in playing the bass, but my family considered it too manly for my skinny hands and bought me a guitar instead. :) It wasn’t until 2 years later that a friend of my brother’s randomly left an old Yamaha keyboard at his rehearsal studio, and I happened to be ill at home with too much time to spare. Since then, I’ve forgotten all about guitar and bass and have focused all of my energy and passion on the keys.

As for your second question, I don’t think there was ever a moment when I decided that I wanted to do it professionally. Of course I set myself targets and wished to play at a certain level, but mostly I went with the flow and was offered great opportunities that took me where i am today.

S.M: Who were your biggest musical influences?

T.I: Now that I think about it, very rarely have I combined my tastes in bands and genres with what I actually play. When I first started playing I was influenced by artists like Tuomas Holopainen (Nightwish), Amy Lee (Evanescence), The Rev (Avenged Sevenfold), and I remember being very into those bands at the time. It is obvious that their style has left its particular mark on the way I play today, but I like to believe that I have my own unique touch. :D

On a low scale, I was mostly influenced by my piano teacher, Alin Maghiar, with whom I have never played any kind of metal whatsoever.

S.M: How did you join An Theos?

T.I: It was pure luck that our vocalist (Florin) and manager (Dorel) happened to be part of the crowd at a local concert where I played with my former band (Between Colors).

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They were looking for a keyboard player at that moment and saw me playing that night. A couple of days later, Florin contacted me online and “proposed” in an unrefusable way, describing the band and its promising plans, which made me think “why the hell not?”.

S.M: How did you manage being so involved in musical projects while in high school?

T.I: Well, I believe that there is always enough time to do what you love if you really want to. My band mates are the very best examples, as many of them have one or two jobs, families to support, bills to pay and still keep it going. Apart from this, (and this is coming from a very diligent student) I really think that high school is a very big joke and that there would’ve never been a better moment to invest so much time and energy into music. Seriously. I consider it one of the most undemanding and unsatisfying educational institutions. High school teens with no hobbies are some of the saddest people I’ve ever seen.

S.M: How important would you say education is to you, whether musical or not?

T.I: Education has always been my number one priority, whether musical or simply school related. Right now I am focusing very much on this matter because this last year is going to be crucial for me, as I want to continue my further education at a top university abroad.

S.M: How do you think that playing internationally has changed you? How would you describe the experience?

T.I: One word: INCREDIBLE. Not really. Meeting so many diverse and talented people, with an unusual level of creativity and open-mindedness, from whom I can only learn (be it good or weird things) is an unique experience on its own. Every time it ’s different. You see, when you play abroad no one knows you.

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“ As we sing only in our mother tongue, it is incredibly impressive to see a big crowd of people who don’t get a word but still feel the energy that you transmit, returning the positivity back to you

like a high-speed boomerang.”

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Who you are, what your age is, who your friends are. That is the moment when I can truly be myself, as pure and unconstrained as I can be. As we sing only in our mother tongue, it is incredibly impressive to see a big crowd of people who don’t get a word but still feel the energy that you transmit, returning the positivity back to you like a high-speed boomerang. It’s amazing. The whole thing is 100 times more intense than what I get to feel every day. The experience of playing internationally was so powerful for me that it has changed me and helped me develop in so many ways. Every time we return home to our day-to-day lives I get so depressed. XD

S.M: What would you say were the hardest things you had to overcome to get where you are?

T.I: Stage fright. :) That’s it. For a very long time I simply couldn’t enjoy anything that happened on stage. I felt so little, and so overwhelmed by the people in front of me that everything I knew rushed from my

mind, leaving a huge and frightening blank space. Now that I’ve overcome this almost entirely, I feel like I can truly start to develop as an artist and to enjoy what I do together with my band mates and, of course, the public

S.M: How do you feel meeting fans and people who come to your shows?

T.I: I believe that this is just as important as actually playing. Many bands are obliged by contracts to meet with their fans for a few hours but I consider it crucial in order to create a strong bond that goes beyond the music you play or how big your name is. I have had the chance to meet Romanian as well as international bands outside the stage, down in the backstage.No matter how much I used to like a band before, if they didn’t respect or interact with the people around them (the staff, the sound engineer, the open-act bands, the fans, etc), they meant almost nothing to me.I get incredibly excited when I come off the stage and meet so many new people who have so much to share,

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or when I see people that usually come to our gigs and have become so familiar that they make me feel like home every single time we play in Bucharest.

S.M: What is the best show you have ever played and what made it so? What about the best show(s) you have attended?

T.I: Wow! That’s a tough one.It’s impossible to pick only one show,

but some of the best were at Kavar-na Rock Fest- Bulgaria (which came as a big surprise for all of us. From organisational matters to how well the public interacted with us, the concert was an absolute blast, and so was the whole festival.), Malpa-ga Folk&Metal Fest- Italy (amazing people and organisation- serious-ly: everyone there was so authen-tic they only drank wine), Sam-hain Fest, Brno- Czech Republic

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We played on the same stage with our friends from Cruadalach- amazing people and great musicians- the whole thing was so intense I could barely stand on my feet- “why would rock stars ever use drugs when they get all this overwhelmingly beautiful energy?” I kept asking myself, Rock’n Park- Arenele Romane, Bucuresti (amazing crowd, we were all speechless :) )

I think one of the best shows I’ve ever been to was The Ocean in Club Fabrica (I’ve loved the band for so long, but seeing them live would’ve never been such a big thing if they weren’t so dedicated to their music and the show). I was also very impressed by Gojira at Rockstadt Extreme Fest 2013, Rammstein at Sonisphere Festival + Rock the City, Apocalyptica- Romanian Rock Meeting and Korn.

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(I would describe them as progressive death metal, although they go through plenty of genres throughout their albums), so you can imagine that anything alike suits me (play me some Opeth or Gojira and I’m yours ).However, I’ve recently started to be more into hardcore than before (and I’ve noticed that the style has increased in popularity lately) , and I would never say no to some good

S.M: Who was the last person you asked for an autograph (or photo)?

T.I: Mike Portnoy, I think.

S.M: What or, more importantly, who are you currently listening to? Any guilty pleasures?

T.I: My all-time favourite band is Between The Buried And Me22

post-rock like God is an Astronaut or Maybeshewill.

At a local level I really recommend bands like Negative Core Project, Dirty Shirt, White Walls, Dark Fusion, Gray Matters and, why not, Alternosfera.

I don’t know if it’s a guilty pleasure really, but I enjoy some electronic music, whether it’s ProdigyPendulum or We Butter The Bread With Butter. At the moment I’m really looking forward to the Enter Shikari concert.

S.M: What is the most recent book you’ve read?

T.I: Codul Rutier :) [e.n: Road Code] But my favourite book is the Millennium Trilogy by Steve Larsson (although it’s no longer a trilogy as a fourth book is on the market right now-written by David Lagercrantz but I’m yet to read it). Also, anything written by Linwood Barclay.

S.M: If you could have a luncheon with any three people (real or fictitious/from any time period/dead or alive), which three people would you choose and why?

T.I: Lisbeth Salander- main character of the Millennium Trilogy (I love her).Agatha Christie- I’m just so damn curious to find out how she managed to write so many books.Quentin Tarantino- His movies are so great and fucked up and it would be super weird to have a cool, casual conversation with him. Plus I heard he’s funny.

S.M: What is your idea of fun? If given a chance to skip work for a day, how would you spend the entire day?

T.I: Can I make that day one week? I cannot hike in only one day :D

S.M: What are some of things you would like to achieve in the future?

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T.I: Well, I believe that ‘professional and musical success’ is an obvious answer to this question but, apart from that, I really hope to become a stronger and independent person, to find a peaceful balance and, at the same time, maintain my thirst for adventure and boldness. I wish to travel a lot, which I’m sure will provide me with plenty of experience that will teach me lessons I cannot even think about right now.

Also, I wish to be happy.

I think that’s all.

S.M: Thank you very much.

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Your Bodyis a

Battleground

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Right Now, You aRe impeRfectlY whole

by Ruxandra Sevastin

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I was born and raised in a family where women’s right means much more than someone’s ideologies. As time went by I had the chance to see that a woman’s body can often become a battleground for different reasons, reasons that are religious ones although sexual pleasure is involved.

We are led to believe that we live in a perfect harmony were women and men stand equal rights from every point of view. Yet like a desert mirage as we get closer to life, the further it seems to retreat from our view.

In our society, unfortunately being a woman is a battle that often ends in tears, disappoints and depending of the area sometimes deadly. Most of us will be stuck in this moment for a long period.

I had the chance to meet girls and women whose adulation for her male is like a holy word took out from the

Bible that cannot be ignored. I met women with bad black bruises and were scared every time a male passed by but they were still convinced that he is the answer, the best option for them.

To think that he is the only one who can provide you protection from something or someone is a response born from fear. Believing that your life depends on him is also extremely wrong and not true. I asked myself, why are women most likely to think like this? Extremism and bad interpretation of the Holy Bible or other book that guide us to understand God’s work can create a state of anxiety. Sadly our perceptions about reality is not far from the Middle East one. There as in our cases women are thought to believe and fear their husband, father or brother because he is The Man and he can do whatever he wants with her body even with her life.

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In our country male employers think women shouldn’t have equal rights and often treat them badly even ask for sexual favors. It’s known that some employers will offer you a big salary if you accept to have a sexual relationship with them. Women who suffer from mental disabilities and their families can’t afford taking care of them are send to spend their miserable life in streets, in filthy institutions with bad doctors and nurses or used to provide sex for money.

A few weeks ago I found an NOG in our country that was founded by a mother and her son and their primary activity is to save girls that are selling their bodies for money. Mrs. X walks all day around the city and when she notice a girl that is waiting for a client drives towards her, talks to her from her car so their identity remains protected and later that day offers to give her a ride somewhere. That somewhere is the way to a new life, to new chances. It’s a home. It’s a home.

It’s a home far away from the streets. They are helped to go back to school, get a job, make friends and most important not to feel ashamed and disgusted by their past life. Although we have smartphones and wi-fi connection, fast cars and everything we want, women in my country are still afraid to talk about their rights not to mention demanding their sexual rights. For those men a woman’s body is known as “The money-maker”, “The younger the better”.

Instead of focusing in making projects on how to make more money, how to teach children video games, we should teach them how to respect their mothers and sisters, we should teach women as well to take control of their lives and stop thinking that men are the supreme race and can do whatever they want with their bodies.When you walk in a park, travel by bus or go to a party it’s impossible not to see a male acting weird with his girlfriend because

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his mother told him it’s OK to act mean sometimes or even slap her so she will not raise her voice. This kind of mentality is wrong for both sides, it’s destructive and costs millions of innocent girls and women.

Feminists are constantly in bad relations because they stand against domestic violence. Women’s bodies are the ultimate battleground on which feminists fight wars for gaining rights but as I said before our society finds easier to subjugate or ignore women right rather than help them.

„You can be both the holder of pain and the healer of it. Right now, you

are imperfectly whole.”

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It’s so painful, loving you. Did you know that? Living everyday with the fear of ending up unwanted, that

I’ve opened up like the mid-summer morning sky, thinking that maybe someone will shut

the door tight. I clutch on to you as the sand clutches on to the roaring tide. In

my painful way of loving I’d give you everything I’d have

but it still wouldn’t seem enough. Somehow love is joy - love is pain and that pain is something beautiful because you have someone besides you, to care for you when

everything collapses.

LOVE IS PAIN

I am difficult love, but that’s only because I love you and when I love hell and heaven

unleash from within my soul. Maybe I’m too attached, but I’ve never devoured a love like this

before. We do love differently, of this I am sure and you honestly can’t imagine the depths of my

feelings (I sometimes think that you may not understand them).

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Maybe one day, you’ll understand me and if not, I could never blame you. I am a shrivelled flower that

needs warmth continuously to bloom again since my layers have been

ripped apart for years but somehow I still stand tall

and somehow not everyone would devote time to save a shrivelled flower, but rather

buy a new one all bloomed and beautiful. For me, love is the only thing I have left

and without it... I wouldn’t be myself.

My body was a battle field.One for where all my lovers

foughtTill I remained empty and

coldLike the silence after the end

of starry-night gunshots.

Hannah Blaga

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Addictive Tendencies

by Elix Rae

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Scars, dark circles, bruises, scratches, unidentified marks all over your body. You look at the mirror and finally recognize the person standing in front of you. Your insides lie on the ground, out in the open. All these years you spent trying to feel some kind of relief, trying to escape reality, they are here in front of you. There’s blood, despair and regret scattered everywhere. It’s such a mess.

Even though you hate what you’re seeing, even though it makes you want to throw up and cry, you have to face your past, because all you ever did will always stay in you.

When people talk about addictions, the first things that come to mind are drugs, alcohol, tabac. However there are so much more things you can get addicted to : internet, sex, violence, and so on. Most of the time people do not really remember when they crossed the limit between their regular use and the addiction. It just kind of happened.

Then, they found themselves stuck behind barriers, not able to escape this place.

At first, you might try it for fun, because you’re curious, you think you have nothing left to lose. It brings you a new kind of happiness and content. But soon enough you find yourself in too deep, and you don’t even realize it. It becomes a habit, and eventually you won’t belong to yourself anymore. You forget the real world, you can’t concentrate anymore, and you can only think about the object of your supposedly liberating happiness.

Everybody is different. Some people get easily addicted, some others do not. The solution would to know yourself and be responsible. But is life supposed to be that simple ?Every bit of action and decisions that you take will leave a mark in the inside and sometimes even on the outside of your body.

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“ Every bit of action and decisions that you take will leave a mark in the inside and sometimes even on the outside of your body.”

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When you take a decision, you usually decide something knowing how it can affect you, because you’re supposed to know a minimum about yourself. If you’re afraid of heights, you won’t go on a roof just for fun. If you know you get easily influenced or attached to something, you should not make the first step towards this it.

Though I believe people make their own choices knowing how it can affect them, and are responsible for their actions, sometimes it is not that simple. If someone took drugs, or spent the whole day on the internet forgetting about the outside world, something must have pushed them there, something they weren’t able to control.Sometimes, because of the wrong circumstances, people make bad choices, and have to deal with them. Though someday you may regret your actions, you also have to learn to live with them and move on. Your body will always be a constant reminder of your past tendencies, and it is something you have to accept, despite all the things it has been through and all the choices you have made.

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Dear Lover,

by Nina Moskowitz

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Dear Lover,

I write a lot. There are words scribbled on my palms, my arms. Jotted in notebooks, textbooks, scribbled in the corners of novels I have read and reread. Words on the walls, on the floor, the ceiling. The words don’t stop, the feelings don’t stop.

But you knew that.

Do not expect me to be like Rowling. I do not gracefully compose masterpieces written in a cafe with light streaming through the window. I do not slowly let ideas come to me, and once it is all finished, bask in the beauty that is my work.

Expect me to be like Van Gogh. I will be...brilliant. A work of art in my own right. But I will not do so with grace, nor composure. My work will explode into existence, under influence of music, and love, and everything crazy. My work will bloom after being watered by tears at one in the morning, and will die from the fire I create in a fury.

I will be a whirlwind of an artist. A mad scientist. The type of person you cannot begin to think to handle, but can merely admire from a safe distance, where you are in no danger of being hit by shrapnel.

Lover, you need to understand something:

The best work is created in chaos. In pain, in anger, in mad, crazy, stupid love. The masterpieces of this world were manufactured under chaos of life and death, anguish and suffering. Some people try to fool themselves and say it is otherwise. Life lives for good love, sweet love. Life lives for hand-holding, and sweet kisses, and light touches. But fire makes a bigger reaction than water. Good things, sweet things; they all have their place in this world. But they are not passionate. They are not life on fire. And lover, if you know me, I crave the heat.

I want intense love, love that sets off smoke alarms.

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I want to make love, and make art, to paint a picture of the world that is more than most people can handle.

My goal is to make people uncomfortable. I want their skin to itch, for their hearts to race, for their fingers to have an urge to grab another body. I want to make them know love like they’ve never known it before. People do not understand that life is not manufactured for us; we manufacture it. And while we can sit around and wait for someone to do it all for us, I prefer to go out and make my art on my own terms.

You find me beautiful. I am not. I am crazy and mad and I burn those that touch me. I leave a mark on their bodies, their souls, which is irrevocable. And you are in the line of fire to get burned very badly. I have told you before that this is no game that the life I lead is one that will make yours very difficult.

But if you’ve chosen to stay, you need to know what you are getting into.

You act like it’s a game. This is not charades. It is Russian roulette without the gun, and if you keep this up, you are going to get shot. No kisses will save you then.

Lover, your hands are a gateway drug. They alone are my muse, and they create worlds out of nothing but the swirls on your fingertips. I am a bomb. I go off and leave nothing but ashes behind. Yet for some reason, you have yet to burn, and I think that says something.

But lover, you need to understand that life isn’t always between option A or B. The choice isn’t always black or white, yes or no. When someone asks for art, they have nothing in mind. All they want is something beautiful to be proud of..

I am your art. You need to let me blow up and out, into shards of glass and pops of colour. You need to let me explode into bits of glitter and drops of fire.

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You need to let me become my own work of art, because it is not for you to decide how I turn out.

There is more than one right answer. More often than not, there is no right answer at all. And because I am wild, because I am dynamite in your hands, you need to understand that I am human, and especially flawed, like you. I will lose my mind over why you didn’t make the bed in the morning, or the fact that the garbage bin was never fully closed. I will be upset that you didn’t hang your jacket nicely, or you left the toothpaste cap open.

And I promise you, lover, each and every time, I will come back. When the dust settles, and the ash has stopped moving around, the fire will have left behind a new addition to the mural that is me. To the mural that is us.

I am a whirlwind of an artist. I am raw, and I am crazy, and I thrive off of love and passion, hate and fury.

I will make you punch a wall, but after that I will kiss the knuckles that hurt. My love is strong, and its force is so great it will knock you down.

Please do not be afraid to get up. Do not be afraid to come back. To come home. To me.

I will be here. Always. When the ash has settled, I will be here.

Dear lover.I love you.

Yours,A Flame

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Your Bodyis a Battleground

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Overdose

by Andreea Albulescu

OverdoseGive me an overdose of happiness,

Let me drown in pleasure,Take away my nothingness -

This little secret is my treasure.Standing still, with my dream realised

I wished I could freeze the time!For my senses - paralysed

Like a dream in which you’re mine.Fill my glass with dripping poison,

A drug that only kills,Bring the cup that makes my creamson

Dreams turn into silent whips.And the fog before my eyes

Almost make the shadows real.Wish you saw my heart - it fliesAway with all that I could feelGive me an overdose of loveSo I’ll remember its scent -

A hand that now feels like a gloveHolds my soul, which bends.

Too afraid of the reality,I close my eyes and dream

Of sweet serendipity,My overdose of steam...

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“Our bOdy is ind eed a battlegrOund: but we can transfOrm it frOm a passive blOOdstained grOund tO a field Of resistance and a p lace

Of riOt.”

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cheMicalS aRe ScatteRed ‘Round

by Michela Sereni

In the current society, our body and minds seem to become smaller and smaller, up to the point we’re boiled down to gears of an invisible industry. Human beings are considered a physical entity and are seen as a part of the capitalism texture by now. Not individuals any more, but animals that are little more than a continuum in everyday society of the bigger, international and almost world wide multinational corporations market. Treating people as if they were products, or calculating their worth based on how productive (money-wisely) they are is a subtle and daily tactic that our lifestyle uses in every moment. It is the very core of the pecuniary exchange that everything (and everyone) can be sold for a

certain quantity of silver/gold: this boundary has been pushed as far as possible. “Every aspect of our lives is subordinated to the worst excesses of the drive to make profit [...]our real needs will only ever come a poor second to the requirements of profit” (What Is Capitalism?).

Concerning this, many great minds, among which the one of Vandana Shiva, felt the need to express themselves. Shiva is an Indian activist and thinker that has been focusing on enviornment-related subjects for most of her life (enough to be nominated “Environmental Hero” by Times, in 2003): the topics she covers are simplified when written down, because in

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reality she touches an almost endless amount of subjects. She’s a professional GMOs fighter, who does not only believe they’re harmful for our Planet, but for our humanity as well, since they’re strictly connected. In fact, from the way our mother land is being treated, an external observer could easily read a lot regarding our hearts and the respect we hold one another. We’re led to believe we’re not creatures that come from and will return to the soil: this lie creates a gap. “No matter what problem you look at, every ecological problem comes from this illusion that we are separate from nature. Overcoming the separation is a longing much deeper than the recent rise of ecological awareness. The healing is coming from reclaiming our oneness with the web of life, with the universe itself” (YesMagazine). In this, Shiva puts together social battles against The Big Grey Factories and interest in the effects that

these ‘anti-green’ deals have on integrity or morality. Cause-effect relations on the poorer classes’ lives and psychology are taken in consideration too: “This cycle of high cost seeds and rising chemical requirements is the debt trap, from which the farmers see no escape, and which drives these farmers of the cotton belt to suicide. There is a cause for each and every farmer taking his own life, he is not driven to it by correlation. And the cause is a high cost monopoly system with no alternative“ (SeedsOftruth).

While trying to spread one of the many branches of her hydra-headed message, she walks around the Globe, and I stumbled upon her at a Philosophy Festival in North Italy. Here she challenged Italians with her talks on what she defines as ‘seed freedom’ (Declaration of Seed Freedom).

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"

"CHEMICAL WARFARE IS

GOINGON-SPRAYING

OF ROUNDUP TO KILL EVERYTHING

GREEN(...)"

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This idea starts from the rejection of seed patents: these are, to her, a form of ‘biopiracy’; they are myths of yearly corporations “inventions”. However, these supposedly new and shiny products are nothing but a manufactured presentation of pre-existent knowledge (especially indigenous), stolen from various cultures, over which the money giants have now control. The activist compares this behavior to “robbing life of its integrity and self-organization“ (Seed Freedom), giving to the act itself a dark, negative, love-for-life-centered connotation.It is another key point to Vandana’s discourse that biodiversity is rooted deeply inside the natural cycle, and that the seed holds within an high number possibilities: differences are a consequence of evolution, opposed to a forced sameness. “Life is self-organi z e d . S e l f -o r g a n i z e d s ystems evolve in diversity [ . . . ] Uniformity is constructed from the outside.

It is coercive. So a farm of only Roundup Ready soya is actually a battlefield. Chemical warfare is going on—spraying of Roundup to kill everything green” (Saving Seeds Is a Political Act). Modifying it in order to destroy this innate ability is to commit a crime against the Earth, which, the public seems to forget, is the origin of our health and eating habits.

“In the past few years we’ve become cautious when it comes to what we eat: we have to be careful. But food should not be dangerous or a potential enemy to us: it is our source of life, physically” (I paraphrase, struggling to create a full sentence from the one-worded notes I took that afternoon). Our body is indeed a battleground: but we can transform it from a passive bloodstained ground to a field of resistance and a place of riot.

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The VulnerabiliTy of Girls

by Sharon

I constantly feel a deep sense of insecurity over the quality of my post and its content. I worry that my English skills are not good enough; my vocabulary not remarkable, my phrases not worthy of being published. I worry that I will be criticized for my work, and I let my insecurity swallow me whole.

No one has ever taught me how to deal with self-doubt. I had to learn from early on that I have to fight every sin-gle negative thought I have about myself, or use them to spur me on towards a better tomorrow. I had witnessed first-hand about how I was seen less because of my gen-der, and I promised myselfthat I will not be treated in such a derogatory manner ever again by constantly

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by Sharon

constantly improving myself and showing my capabilities to people who doubt them.

Even so, I am not free of my lingering lack of confidence. However hard I work, however much effort I put into every single project of mine, I still cannot rid myself of my insecurities. I had learnt to live with them, but they will always be there.

And I want other girls to know that, truly, it is okay.

The media has long portrayed the vulnerability of girls as a sign of weakness, that we need an external source of support to keep us whole. Corporations take this opportunity to market beauty products, on the front that without putting on such products we will be seen as less; less pretty, less attractive, less appealing.

Some people of the opposite gender have also criticized such vulnerability as a sign of unprofessionalism. A recent example, as I quote from Nobel laureate Tim Hunt, remarked that “Let me tell you my trouble with girls… when you criticize them, they cry.” Even intelligent females working in highly-respected fields are not barred from such a negative perception of vulnerability and insecurity. And that is a shame.

So what if we cry? Crying is not a sign that we are less intelligent, or less competent, or less skilled than other people. So what if we are brave enough (ironically) to exhibit our vulnerability? This does not make us less able, and it should never be a reason for our criticism.

Showing your insecurity and vulnerability is okay, but we should remember to respond

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respond to such feelings. Turn these feelings into a personal motivation, or use them as a reminder for you to improve yourself constantly. Make them a reason for you to want to continually progress, instead of allowing them to envelope you and grabbing you further away from the finish line.

It is impossible for someone to not be insecure. As much as we want to convince ourselves that we are good enough, there will always be a voice at the back of our heads reminding us of our past failures or present obstacles. Shaking off such feelings will be great in the short-term, but in my personal

opinion, it is much better if we are able to embrace them in the long-term.

At the end of the day, we are all humans. As much as we strive to accomplish things to the best of our ability, some are just beyond our reach. Are we allowed to feel sad? Are we allowed to feel disappointed and heartbroken? Absolutely. Does this mean that we are weaker than people who don’t?

Absolutely not.

“Turn these feelings into a personal motivation, or use them as a reminder for you to improve yourself constantly.”

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A Peek in the Mind

by Mihnea Savulescu

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It’s amazing what your own body can do at times. Feeling distress, people have managed to lift cars, boulders weighting hundreds of kilograms, ran hundreds of miles or survived grievious injuries. And then, there’s your mind, the most interesting part of your body. The one that thinks, feels, creates and makes everything make sense… If you’re lucky, that is. For you see, the brain, as marvelous as it is, sometimes just likes to take your life by its throat and torture it for all its duration, not even ending it. Depression, anxiety… Things which you must cope with in order to do… What?Since it also keeps you from having any motivation whatsoever, at any point. It becomes a chore to be able to get out of bed, you dread interacting with people and feel anxiety whenever something even remotely gets you out of your comfort zone.

And thus, life slowly becomes a grind, you just pass through it without any will to actually live.

But wait, there’s more! It starts taking away your energy, it saps your remaining will until you basically become just an empty shell. And you feel like a burden to those around you, not telling anyone who can actually help with what you’re going through because you feel abnormal. You don’t want them to know because you think they’d judge and even if they wouldn’t, you think they would just consider you a dead weight, a person that won’t just “feel better” or “be more cheerful”. And thus, isolation becomes a new home, loneliness a friend and pain something kept deep inside your mind, emerging only when alone… And when you’re alone, well, that’s where the fun starts,

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as you start questioning wether you should even be alive, the feelings start getting worse and worse and you just want it all to end.

Still, there are people who understand what’s happening, and they are willing to help you pull through, bringing a bit of love and hope to an else desolate pallace of nothingness that is your soul. And those feelings start fighting the depression and anxiety that have made a home out of your mind, eventually giving you small breaks from them. But the fear remains, as a shadow deep within, with the knowledge that it can return at any moment whatsoever. You might even think you’ve beaten it fully, not being there for a year or even more, and then… It hits again, same as before, the cycle begins anew. Painfully, you drag yourself across life like this, showing people a mask instead of what’s truly behind it, a true peek in the mind…

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“And you feel like a burden to those around you, not telling anyone who can actually help with what you’re going through because you feel

abnormal.”

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Your Body Is A Battleground bY DelaiN

caSiana conStantin

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Although I don’t always listen to metal music I could say this song has a nice musical background and I am also impressed by the feminine voice. This song is about the relationship with our body and mind. The way we perceive it can determine our feelings about this.

The introduction states that imperfection is what defines the relationship: our bodies always interfere with temporary afflictions and infections (both mental and physical), these are not things to be ashamed of. Imperfection, says the band, is the reason people develop addictions, which is a theory I agree with: our imperfections (physical and mental, again), our toxic families or relationships, I guess these are most common causes.

Bipolar people and people with mental disorders are most likely to inject drugs (such as heroine and ketamine), in their minds they protect them from the outside-hating world, when they just increase their imperfections.

Me and the band recommend to “take action”, any little change (such as reading this) is welcomed. When they switch to pills (the band probably means methadone, the substitute of heroine) feelings never change for this individuals, everyday feels the same, they can’t sense the same pleasure as the first times they injected the modified opium, now all they do is kill the pain produced by lacking the actual drug.

The band is nicely supporting the addicts saying that for any disorder or hesitation there could be something more than an injection to adjust: they say they will “write a letter” for every head, heart and monster under the bed that is threatening their minds. I especially like this part, art must be the most supportive way, especially for an addict, someone who lacks self-esteem. All of us are at least a little social insecure, art is also a miracle in my life to me.

Your body is a battleground - here we come to the title that attracted me to write this. This is true, our brain - the actual battleground is where “chemicals are scattered” - all this chemicals put a mark in our amygdala*, our neuro-history, that is why we should at least try to be more careful about the food we eat and the drugs we take.

I especially like the end, which attacks directly the user’s paradox: the addicts are always haters of the system, they hate giving money to corporations, maybe to the extinct of being scared of the conspiracies going around in the recent years, but as we already know that doesn’t stop the gangs and big mafias to turn the body into an industry: they take profit of the “lack of drugs” feeling (which is induced: taking drugs accustoms you to bigger production of serotonin and dopamine while not taking drugs leads to a feeling of lacking this substances which expresses as depression and high irritability; they can never remember the state of mind they had before starting drugs, the normal state) and make you a consumer: someone the “anarchists” addicts hate, but someone they became.I hope this small interpretation of mine brings a smile to one’s face or even help people being more careful of their bodies and implicitly their minds.

*amygdala = a ganglion of the limbic system adjoining the temporal lobe of the

brain and involved in emotions of fear, aggression, affection and addiction

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