talk like a boss: how to communicate assertively in the ......showcase your assertive communication...

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Talk Like a Boss: How to Communicate Assertively in the Job Search

Learning Objectives

01. The difference between assertive and aggressive communication

02. Why societal pressures make it harder for women to be assertive

03. Verbal, visual, and vocal methods of assertive communication

04. Examples of how to communicate assertively in your job search and in the workplace

Meet your hosts

Emilie AriesFounder & CEOBossedUp.com

Brandy WarwasJob Seeker Experience Indeed

The information presented in this webinar is provided as a courtesy, and any views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Indeed. It does not represent a forecast, prediction, or other indication of future market or economic performance, and should not be relied upon for such purposes. Indeed is not a career or legal advisor and does not guarantee job interviews or offers.

Is it assertive or aggressive?

AS-SER-TIVE/əˈsərtiv/being forthright about your wants and needs while still considering the rights, needs, and wants of others.

AG-GRES-SIVE/əˈgresiv/doing what is in your own best interest without regard for the rights, needs, feelings or desires of others.

© 2020 Bossed Up. All Rights Reserved

Benefits of Assertiveness

Draw healthy boundaries

Reduce anxiety

Display executive presence

Get more promotions

© 2020 Bossed Up. All Rights Reserved"Can an angry woman get ahead? Status conferral, gender, and expression of emotion in the workplace." Brescoll, Victoria L., and Eric Luis Uhlmann. (2008)

Why is assertiveness more difficult as a woman?

The Leadership Double-Bind“The mismatch between conventionally female qualities and the qualities thought necessary for leadership puts female leaders in a double bind.”

“How Women Manage the Gendered Norms of Leadership”, Harvard Business Review (Nov. 2018)


Intersectionality can be a helpful framework

RACEAGE

GENDE

R


Lead with intent, then content


+ Intent = why you’re asking what you’re asking

+ Content = what you’re asking

Can you hear the difference?


I'm not comfortable discussing salary at this early stage of the interview, as I want to make sure we're a good fit for each other first.

I want to make sure we're a good fit for each other first, so I'm not comfortable discussing salary at this early stage of the interview process just yet.

Can you hear the difference?


We may need the team to work overtime this week because I want to make sure we’re sticking to the deadline on this project.

I want to make sure we’re sticking to the deadline on this project, so we may need the team to work overtime this week.


Deciding whether to accept a job offer:As you can imagine, this is an important decision and I want to make it with care. Can you send me the details in writing and sync back with me at the end of the week to discuss?

More examples in the job search


Rescheduling an interview:I want to be sure to give you my full, undivided attention during our interview, and just learned I have a conflict at our scheduled time. Would you be available to reschedule for any other day this coming week?



Negotiating your compensation:I’m so excited to join your team and want to make this a long-term career move, as I’m confident I’ll be able to devote many years to this company. To do that, I’m looking for a starting salary of $72,000. Is that a number we could move forward on?



Asking questions during the interview:I want to make sure we’re on the same page about long-term growth potential. Can you tell me more about your vision for this department in the coming 2-5 years?


It’s almost always easier to speak up on behalf of someone else than yourself.+ Amplify to give credit

and pass the mic+ Call in and call out to

curb unconscious oppression

A note on allyship



Let’s talk style

+ Verbal (Words) - 7%+ Visual (Body) - 55%+ Vocal (Tone) - 38%

Communication beyond words


Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes, Mehrabian, Albert (1981).

Words

Body

Tone

+ Filler words → Pause, think, answer+ Qualifiers → “I think/feel…”+ Apology no → Gymnast’s finish

Verbal assertiveness


Visual assertiveness

© 2020 Bossed Up. All Rights ReservedPresence, Cuddy, Amy (2015)

Classic power poses

Vocal assertiveness


+ Up-speak → Declarative, declining tone

+ Vocal fry → Raise your tone + BREATHE!

“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.”-Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In


Showcase your assertive communication skills

+ List related skills: Leadership, constructive feedback, conflict management, problem solving

+ Show examples in your professional experience: Aligned stakeholders to develop a new intake process through active listening and consistent communications, despite conflicting interests, resulting in on-time project delivery and 20% increase in process adoption.

Assertiveness on your resume

+ Firm handshake+ Strong posture+ Good eye contact

(or looking at the camera)+ Respond with examples of

you giving firm, clear direction

Assertiveness in your interview

+ Set professional boundaries

+ Listen politely+ Make clear, detailed

requests+ Seek out opportunities

for collaboration

Assertiveness in the workplace

Let’s recap...

We’re all guilty of carrying unconscious gender bias


ASSERTIVE and

AGGRESSIVE are different


There are major benefits to being assertive…

being well-liked by everyone all the time isn’t one of them.


Willingness to be risk-tolerant is part of

being a boss!


Place screenshot here

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