table of contents€¦ · dealing with fear and anxiety in challenging times 37 christiane neumann...

©Copyright2020TheSocietyofNLPTM 1

AstheworldwentintolockdowninabidtobeattheCovid-19pandemic,TheSocietyofNLP’sleadingTrainersandMasterTrainersinNeuro-LinguisticProgrammingmetviatheinternetconferencingappZoom.How,theyaskedoneanother,canwesharethegeniusresilience-buildingtoolsandtechniquesofNLPnow,inthemosteffectivewaypossible?

Theresultoftheirmeetingisthisbook,broughttoyoubyworld-leadinginnovatorsinNLPwhosharestrategieseveryonecanusetobuildresilience,quicklyandeasily,inthefaceofthepandemic.Pleasesharethisbookwitheveryoneyoucan;indoingso,youwillhelptosuperchargetheworldandhelpusallcomebackafterlockdownstronger,smarterandmoreresilientthanever.

Withthisbook,wesendyouourlove,prayersandbestwishestotheworld.Staysafe,stayhealthy,staystrong,andstayproductive!

Compiledanddesignedby:HingdranataNikolayEditor:JanePikett, www.the-editor.pro

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION 05 Dr.RichardBandler

07 JohnLaValle,MBA

PROTECTING GOOD FEELINGS 10 KathleenLaValle

HOW TO BUILD AND SELL YOUR ONLINE COURSE

14 Dr.Aleksander Šinigoj

MASTER YOUR OWN MIND 19 AlessandroMora

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR JOB AND YOUR CHILDREN – AT THE SAME TIME

23 AnneHelmerstuen

LEVERAGING YOUR FOCUS 27 CindyGalvin

FROM FACE TO FACE TO VIRTUAL 32 ChrisCummins

DEALING WITH FEAR AND ANXIETY IN CHALLENGING TIMES

37 ChristianeNeumann

STARTING OVER 43 DanielVelascoGarcia

WHO IS CARING FOR YOU? 48 GeoffRolls

CONTROLLING YOUR INNER VOICE 52 GeorgeCunningham

FOCUS ON WHAT’S IMPORTANT 54 HannuPirilä

InSTANT CONTROL 62 HingdranataNikolay

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE 66 JamesSeetoo

WRITE YOUR WAY TO FREEDOM 72 JohnG.Johnson

IS IT YOU OR THE MOUNTAIN 76 Dr.JuanAntonioPerez

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LAUGHING IN THE FAcE OF ANXIETY 80 JuneO’Driscoll

COVID-19: PASS THE PANDEMIC INTO THE PAST BEHIND YOU NOW

85 KalliopeBarlis

THREE FOR THRIVE 88 KayCooke

HOW TO STAY PRODUCTIVE AnD ACCOUNTABLE

96 ManuelaHjelseth

HOW TO STOP UNCONSCIOUSLY HITTING YOUR EMOTIONAL BRAKES AND START LIVING YOUR DREAMS

101 MarcoValerioRicci

GROW BY READING 104 MichelWozniak

TRUST YOURSELF! 108 NathaliedeMarcé

THE INTENTIONAL STRATEGY 112 OwenFitzpatrick

PUT YOUR FOCUS IN THE RIGHT PLACE 117 RobertaLiguori

MENTAL MASK 120 RocíoSuárez

BILATERAL BRAIN STIMULATION: BBS 124 SaulKentRoss,MBAPhD

STAYING PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY HEALTHY

129 TinaTaylor

SELLING FROM HOME 134 TomPhillips

WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING OFF? 138 UweBoehm

BIOHACK YOUR RESILIENCE TO STRESS 140 XavierPirlaLlorens

HOW TO LIGHTEN AND BRIGHTEN YOUR LIFE

147 YurinaShiraishi

©Copyright2020TheSocietyofNLPTM4

INTRODUCTION

5

Dr.RichardBandlerCo-creator

ofNLP

For50years,IhaveworkedtocreatewhatisnowcalledNeuro-LinguisticProgramming(NLP).Ihavedevelopedmanytechniquesthatsolveproblems,promotelearningandmakepeoplefunctionbetter.Ihavetrainedmorethan1millionstudents,forperiodsrangingfromthreehoursto35years.

Iamveryproudtodaytointroducethisbook,puttogetherbysomeofmytrainersinlightoftheCoronavirusandtheensuing“GRANDPAUSE”.

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Undertheirownpower,eachisusingthepracticalskillsofNLPtoanswersomeverybigneedsinourworldtoday:

HOWCANWEHANDLESTRESS,FEARANDANXIETY?HOWCANWESTAYPRODUCTIVE?HOWCANWESTAYHEALTHYANDFIT?HOWCANWESELLTHINGSFROMHOME?HOWCANWEPREPARETOMOVEASTHISPASSES?ANDEVENMORE!

Iamlikemanyofyou:house-bound,waitingforanswers.

Iamveryproudtoseemytrainersareprovidingsomeoftheanswersweneednow!

Remembermywords:

“CHANGETHEWAYYOUTHINK…ITWILLCHANGETHEWAYYOUFEEL,ANDTHEREFORECHANGEWHATYOUCANACTUALLYDO”

Readthisbookandlearntocopebetterduringthe“GrandPause”.Youcanusethistoteachothers.Thiswillallgoawayovertime,sogetsmarterandstrongerforitall.

SOHEREITIS...READON!

DR.RICHARDBANDLER

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JohnLaVallePresidentofTheSocietyofNLP™

Itisapleasuretoseesomanyofourtrainersinvolvedinthiswonderfulproject.

SocietyofNLP™TrainersandMasterTrainershavecoordinatedtheireffortsinputtingthisbooktogetherduringtheworldwideCovid-19dilemma.

Theyeachputintoprintsomeoftheirbestideastohelppeoplewhoarequarantinedincountriesworldwide;providingideas,strategiesandsuggestionsforkeepingupbeatandsmiling!

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Theauthorsofthisbookeachhavetheirownareasofexpertise;workingindifferentfieldswhereNLPisusedtohelppeopletoimproveandenjoytheirlives.

I'mproudofallourTrainersandMasterTrainers,andtherearemanymorethanthosewhohavecontributedtothisfinebook.

Tofindotherswhomaybeinyourcountry,pleasecheckthemoutathttps://NLPInstitutes.com

BeSafeandStayWell,

JohnLaVallePresidentofTheSocietyofNeuro-LinguisticProgramming™


The Tool Box

©Copyright2020 Kathleen La Valle10

01 PROTECTING GOOD FEELINGS

KathleenLaValle,USA

Whenmysonwaslittleand,asaMomcan,Iwouldseehewasgettingsick,I’dexplaintohim:“Youknowyouhavesoldiersthatprotectyouinsideandcanfightthegermsorillnesstryingtomakeyousick.”Helovedthisideaandhewouldtellmeindetailwhattheywerewearingoraboutthenewweaponstheyhad.Sometimes,hehireddragonsorothercreaturestojoinin.Itgottothepointwherehewouldcometomeandsay,“Mom,Ineedtogoliedownandhaveatalkwithmysoldiers.Idon’tfeelwell.”Hewouldgetchildhoodillnesses,buttheywerealwaysoverinhalfthetimeittookforhisfriendstorecoverfromthesamethings.

Pssst!Iwanttoletyouinonalittlesecret.Yourimmunesystemislisteninginoneverythingyousayorthink.Nowisthetimetobedeterminedtochoosewhatyouwantittohear.Limitnewsbroadcaststoonceortwiceaday,justforashorttimetofindoutaboutanyimportantchangestorestrictions.

Playyourimmunesystemmusicthatmakesyoufeelgood.Useyourneurologytorelax.Whenthingsgettobuildingupinside,takeamomenttoSTOP,takeadeepbreathandletitout,makingthesoundof“Ahhhhhhhhhhh…”outloud!Thisgoesdirectlytoyourneurologyandcoolsthingsdown.Repeatasnecessary.

©Copyright2020 Kathleen La Valle 11

Thisisnotatimeforwimpingout–sodothisfully.Makeitvibrateandfeelthatreverberationdownyourbody.

Ifyoudon’talreadymeditate,thisistheperfecttimetostart.I’mabouttoshowyousomethingyoucanpracticewhiledoingso.Ifyoualreadymeditate,thenyoucanaddthistoyourrepertoire.

1. Usethe“Ahhhhhhhhh”techniqueaboveforthreetofivedeepbreaths,lettingyoureyescloseduringtheprocess.Whenyoubegintofeelrelaxed,startslowingyourbreathingalittleandmethodicallydoasystemcheckfromyourheadtoyourtoes.Slowlysearchforanystressandmovethatpartofyourbodyslowlyuntilthestressletsgo.

2. Imaginewhatyourcontrolcenterlookslikeinyourbrain;nowit’stimetobewidelycreativeandfindthemonitorforyourimmunesystem!Followthepathtoyourimmunesystemandpicturewhatyourimmunecellsmightlooklike.Youcanstaybiologicaloryoucanmakethemcharacters,animals,sci-fiheroes,superheroesorfantasycreatures.Makesureyouknowtherearedifferenttypes.Somearewarriors,someareguardians,someproducethingstoprotectus.Imaginehowtheydotheirjobs.Dothisfullyingreatdetail!

3. Designwhattheyarewearingorcarryingastoolsandweapons.Maybetheyhavefantasticarmor.Themoredetailthebetter.

4. Thankthemfortheamazingjobtheydoforyoueachandeveryday.Nowit’stimefortheepicspeech-likethebattlecryinthemovieIndependenceDayorthefinalbattleinBraveheart.Ifyouhaven’tseenthosemovies,I’msureyoucancomeupwithsomethingepic!Encouragethemtoprotectyouandpromisetodoyourjobofprovidingthemwiththegoodfeelingstheyneedtodotheirjobbest.Keepthispromise.Laugh,Dance,Sing!

5. Begintobuildagoodfeelingofsomethingyoulovetodo;somethingthatbringsyoujoy.Feelwhatitfeelslikewhenyou’redoingthatactivity.Addsoundsandpicturesandsmellsandtastesthatbuildthefeelingstronglyinsideyou.Andnoticewherethefeelingstartsandwhereitebbsout.Makealoopfromtheebbpointtothebeginningagainandstartspinningthatgoodfeelingsothatasthefeelingbuildsandinsteadofitfadingawayitloopsbackandgetsstronger.

6. Makesureyouarespinningitinthedirectionthatmakesitstronger;youcantestitbyspinningitindifferentdirections

©Copyright2020 Kathleen La Valle12

untilyoufindthedirectionthatwitheachspinmakesitstrongerandstronger.

7. Spinitfasteruntiltherearesparksflyingoffit!Thentakethatspinofenergyandexpanditandmakeithorizontaluntilitislikeahulahooparoundyou.Letitglidearoundyouwhileitisspinningupanddownyourbody.Fromaboveyourheadallthewaydowntobelowyourfeet.Noticewhatevercolorsthereareandmakethemvibrant!Letitclearandcleanyou.

8. Thisgoodfeelingisnowspinningenergyaroundyou.Letitbecomemoreandmorethree-dimensionalsothatitbecomesaglobearoundyou.YoucanusethisGoodFeelingshieldtoprotectyou.Makesureyouprogramittokeepeverythingoutapartfromwhatyouchoosetoletin.Andknowthatanythingyouwanttosendoutgoeseasily.Youchoosethefilter.Takeyourtimeprogrammingitandpracticesendingoutagoodfeelingorasmile.Andwatchitstopnegativefeelingsfromothersorfromsituations.Theybounceoffandyouchooseyourinternalreactiontobemoreresponsiveinusefulways.

9. Begintodrawyourattentionawayfromtheshield.Letitdoitsthing.Payattentiontoyourbreathingandbegintoslowlybecomemoreawareoftheworldaroundyou,whateveryou’resitting,standingorlyingon;anysmellsaround,thetemperatureintheroom,anysoundsaroundyou.Dothisasslowlyasyoucanandmaintainthefeelingofrelaxingnow.Asyoubecomemoreaware,realizethatthefeelingofrelaxingnowbecomesawonderfulflowofenergy.

10. Whenyouareready,openyoureyesandnoticehowbrightthingsarelooking.Takeamomenttotakeonemoredeepbreathandsaythatword“Ahhhhhhhhhh…”again.Letittrailoff,knowingthatyouarefeedinggoodfeelingstoyourimmunesystemandFeelGood!

So,thereyouhaveit!YourownProtectionShieldmadefromgoodfeelingsandpluggedintoyourimmunesystem.So,feelgoodandcontinuetakinggoodcareofyourself.Thisisagreatthingtodorightbeforeyougotosleepatnight;itmayevenhelpyoutoavoidthechatterofallthatisgoingonandallowyoutodriftoffwithsomethingfuntodo.Firstthinginthemorningisanothergoodtimetodothis;startoffthedaybychargingyourimmunesystem!

©Copyright2020 Kathleen La Valle 13

Thissituationhasgivenusagreattimetotrynewthingsandlearnnewthings.Justremembertouseallyourskillstokeepyourmindpointedtowardsgoodthings.Thebadthingsexist;beingawaregivesyoutheopportunitytodosomethingaboutthem.ItdoesNOTmeantheyhavetotakeoveryourmindandbody.Noticetheword“your”.Itisyourmind,yourbrain.AimitandarmitwithgoodfeelingsandpracticeyourNLPskills.Thelanguagemodelsaresohelpfulinguidingyourthoughtsandreframingthethingsthatdonotappeartobepositive.Usethemtofindthepathtowhatyouwantandwhatyoudesire.

KathleenLaValleLicensedMasterTrainerofNLPandDHEⓇProgramDirectorofNLPSeminarsGroupInternationalwww.PureNLP.comandwww.NLPEternal.comklavalle@PureNLP.com

©Copyright2020 Dr.Aleksander S� inigoj 14

02 HOW TO BUILD AND SELL YOUR ONLINE COURSE

Dr.AleksanderŠinigoj,Slovenia

AChineseproverbsaysthatthebesttimetoplantatreewas20yearsago,andthesecond-besttimetodoitisnow.Thesameistrueforbuildingyouronlinecourse.

Maybeyou’reanentrepreneurwithabricks-and-mortarcoachingorconsultingbusinesswhichishighly

impactedbytheCoronavirusoutbreak,andyouwanttotransferyourbusinessonline.MaybeyoucomefromanotherindustryandyouareunemployedduetoCovid-19;youhaveknowledgeandexperiencethatyoucouldputintoonlinecourses,butyoudon’treallyknowhowtocreateaprogram.Maybeyoualreadyhaveanonlinecourse,oratleastyouhaveanideaofonethatwouldhelppeopleallaroundtheworld,butyoujustdon’tknowhowtosellit.

©Copyright2020Dr.Aleksander S� inigoj 15

Ifyoudon’thaveyourcoursereadytosellyet,nowisTHERIGHTTIMEtoputyourknowledgeandlifeexperienceintoit.Ifnotnow,when?Ican’timagineabettertime.

Weliveinaninformationage.DuetoCoronavirus,weareforcedtomoveourbusinesses100%online.Peopleareobligedtostayathomeandthey’reonlinemorethaneverbefore,lookingforallsortsofknowledge.Ifyoudon’tseizethisopportunitynow,whenpeoplearereadytolearnandbuyonline,you’llmissthechancetoco-createabetterworldandmaketheimpactyouwanttomake.

Inthischapter,youwilllearnfivecrucialstepstobuildingyouronlineprogram,asfollows:

1. Define your niche

Thereareliterallymillionsofnichesforonlinecourses.There’sahairdresserteachingpeoplehowtotakecareoftheirhairandsellingthemshampoosandconditioners.There’ssomeoneteachingpeopletodivedownto10meters.There’sarestaurantchefteachingpeopletopreparehealthymealsin30minutes.There’ssomeoneteachingschoolkidshowtolearnfromhome.There’ssomeoneteachingpeoplehowtotraintheirpets.Younameit!

Youcanchoosewhateveryoufindpeopleneedandwanttolearn.Buthere’sthecatch;youcanhavethebestonlinecourseever,butifnooneknowsaboutit,theycan’tbuyit.Yourjobistotargetyouraudienceandgivepeoplethechancetobuyyourcourse.

Whateveritisyouhavebeendoinguptonow,re-defineyourniche.Consideratleastthesethreethings:whatisyourpassion,researchwhatpeopleneedandsearchforonline,andwhatkindofknowledgeand/orexperienceyouhavetohelppeoplewithyourcourse.

Whatyougetincrosssectionismostlikelyyourniche.Chunkupanddowntopreciseyourexactniche.Forexample,let’ssayyou’reabeauticianwhosepassionisdoingmanicuresandyouareanexpertinaspecifictechniqueofmanicure.Maybeyoueveninventedanewtechnique.ByusingGoogleKeywords,youfindouttherearemillionsofsearchesabouthowtodoamanicure.Whenyouchunkdown,you


gofrom7.7billionpeopleintheworlddowntoagroupofpeoplecalledbeauticians.Frombeauticiansyouchunkdowntobeauticianswhospecializeinmanicures,andthenyouchunkdowntothetechniqueofmanicureinwhichyouareexpert.

Thebiggestmistakethatspeakers,trainersandcoachesmakeinthisareaisthattheyfallinlovewiththeirniche.Ifyoudon’tchoosetherightniche,thenextstepswon’tbringyoutheresultyoudesire.

Iencourageyoutotestthemarketbeforeyoutakefurthersteps;makesureyourcourseissomethingpeoplenotonlyneed,butalsowanttobuy.Therearethreewordsyouneedtoremember-Test,TestandTest!Chunkup,chunkdownandthentestyournicheuntilyoufindtheperfectmatch.

2. Structure the course

Onceyouhavepickedtherightniche,defineyouravatar;thepersonyourprogramwillhelp.Whataretheirproblems,challenges,desires,andgoals?Rememberthatyourcoursemustsolvethespecificproblemstheyhave.

Onceyouareclearaboutthis,itistimeforyoutostartbuildingthestructureofyourcourse.Avoidincludingeverythingyouknowaboutthesubject.Thatislikeowningarestaurantandservingpeoplefoodyouwouldliketoserve,insteadofaskingthemwhattheywanttoeat.

Whenyouarebuildingyourcourse,askyouravatarwhatproblemsheorshehasandusetheprogramtosolvethatproblem.Whenyouaresellingthecourse,youremphasismustbe80%strategyand20%mindset.Manytimes,whenyoudeliveritonlineoroffline,youmaydiscoverthatpeopleneedjusttheopposite,80%mindsetand20%strategy.Themagichappenswhenyouconvertmindsetintostrategyorintosomethingsolid.


3. Record and edit the course

Basedonthestructureofthecourse,youneedtocreateaplantorecordandtheneditit.Havingtherightstructureandplanarethekeystobuildingasuccessfulprogramandareimportantinensuringtheflowofthecourse.

Accompanyvideolessonswithworkbooks,PowerPointpresentations,quizzes,gamification,etc.,tomakeyourcourseevenmoreattractiveforyourstudents.Thechallengeisthatonly34%ofpeoplewhobuyanonlineprogramsuccessfullycompleteit.Youneedtocreateaflowandalinkbetweenlessonsormodulessothatpeoplestaymotivatedtocompletetheentirecourse.

4. Sell the course

Ifyouhaveclearlydefinedtherightniche,builtastructurethatsellsandusedyourplantorecordit,sellingthecoursewillbeeasy.

Whenyouarelaunchingtheprogram,therearemorestrategiestoconsider.Ifyourpersonalpresenceisrequiredonlineandyousupportthecoursewithsomeonlinecoaching,youmayhaveafewdifferentlaunches.Youmayalsoconsiderbuildinganevergreensalesprocess,wherepeoplecanjoinandbuyyourprogramanytime.

Regardlessofthesalesprocessyouchooseforsellingyouronlinecourse,youneedto:

#1 ExplainWHYpeopleneedyourhelpandWHYareyoutheonetohelpthem

#2 Definethestepsofthetransformationalprocess;HOWyouwillhelpthem

#3 ExplainindetailWHATtheywillgetfromyou(withallthebonuses)

#4 PresentsocialPROOF#5 CLOSEthesale


5. Automate the sales process

Exchangingtimeformoneymeansthatyourimpact-andyourincome- islimited.Ifyouarenotservingpeoplewhenyousleep,ifyouarenothelpingpeoplewhenyouarenotworking,youarenotonlyleavingmoneyonthetable,butalsonotfullyutilizingtheopportunitiesthatarenowavailable.

Yourgoalistoautomatethewholesalesprocess;frompeopleclickingonyouradvert,todownloadingyourleadmagnetorjoininganevergreenwebinar,tobuyingyourcourseonlineandlearningfromit.

Allthisneedstohappenautomatically,whenyousleepandwhenyoudream.Thetechnologyhasbeenavailableforalongtime.Rememberthatyouwillbeservingandhelpingpeoplewhenyouareonholiday,whenyouarewithyourfamily,andmakinganimpactevenwhenyouarenotpresent.

Dr.AleksanderŠinigojNLPMasterTrainerSlovenia

©Copyright2020 Alessandro Mora 19

03 MASTER YOUR OWN MIND SixeasystepstochangenegativethoughtsandgetridofanxietyAlessandroMora,Italy

Manypeoplestrugglewhiletryingtohandletheirthoughts.Thisisespeciallytruebeforeimportantevents(exams,interviews,meetings,exhibitions,sportsmatches,etc.)orsituationsfilledwithuncertainty(likethisparticularperiodoftime),wherethemindrunswildlyandtheinternaldialogue(mindchatter)freaksout,buildingastateofanxiety.

Whatisanxiety?Haveyoueverwonderedwhatthatactuallymeans?

Anxietycomesfromapredictableanddefinedprocesswherewebuildacertaintypeofanticipationaroundafuturesituation.Haveyouevernoticedit?

Someyearsago,duringatrainingcourse,Dr.RichardBandlersaidtous:“Ifyoudonottakecontrolofyourthinkingprocesses,youwillbeattheirmercy.”Amentothat,becauseemotionsdonot‘happen’toyou;theyaresimplyneurochemicalprocessesthatareaconsequenceofwhatweimagineorsaytoourselves(theyareinfluencedalsobyscents,flavors,soundsandmore,butIwillfocusonthefirsttwofornow).

©Copyright2020 Alessandro Mora20

Haveyoueverwonderedwhytherearesomeparticularmomentswhenpeoplefeelanxious?

Well,Ihaveanotherquestionforyou:“Whataretheydoingtocreatethatanxiety?Whataretheyimagining?Whataretheysayingtothemselves?”

Thepointisthis:anxietydoesnothappentoyou,itiscreatedbyyou.How?Itiscreatedinsideyourmindbysimplyanticipatingapossiblefuturethatmayormaynotactuallyhappen.Andinordertocreatethisanxiety,peopleneedtobeimaginingtheirfuturegoingcompletelywrong,e.g.,“I’llmisstheshot”,“theprofessorwillaskaquestionIdonotknowtheanswerto”,“ifthissituationdoesn’tendsoonI’lllosemyjob,mymoney,mycareer…”

Andthisisjustthebeginning,becausetheinternalvoicegetslouderandstronger:

“WhatifI’mnotgoodenough?”

“IfherejectsmeI’llhavethrowneightmonthsofmylifeaway”

“IfIfailtodayIwillnothaveanyotherchanceinthisfield”

“Iwon’tsurvivelikethisforanothermonth”

Peoplecanactlikepsychicswithacrystalballwhentheirmindmoviesgocrazyandtheirinnervoicetellsthemthingslike:“Todaywillbebad”,“Iknowthatclientwillneverbuy”,“Wewillneverwinintheseconditions”.

Nowtheanxietyisfullydeveloped,andsuchfeelingsfillthemindandbody.Iseepeoplewhohavealltheskillstodosomething,orhavetheanswertoaquestion,buttheirbrainissostucktheycan'tdoanything.Ihaveseenalotofsmartandmotivatedpeopleliterallygettinglostandnotbeingabletofindasimple,obvioussolutionthat’sthereinfrontofthem.

Maybeitishappeningrightnow,whenyouthinkabouthowtogetoutofthissituationthatiscreatinguncertainty.

Well,Iamdeeplyconvincedthatpeoplehavealltheresourcestheyneedtocreateachange,buttherearesomeemotionalstatesandstatesofmindwithoutresources.

©Copyright2020 Alessandro Mora 21

Whenyouenterthatstatewhereyourepeatyourself,"Idon'tknow...Ican't...I'museless...Ican'tdoit...It'snotforme...I'veneverbeengoodat..."andyoukeeprepeatingitlikeaspell,wellthat'sjustwhatitbecomes:aspellthatturnsagainstyou.Itreleasessubstancesinyourbrainthatpreventyouthinkingclearlyandforceyoutostayinastatewheretherearenoanswersandnosolutions.

Stopdoingit!Takeresponsibilityforbreakingthisstate.

Sohowtodoit?Hereismyquickformulainsixsimplesteps:

Firstthingtodo:Shutup!Stopthat!Stoooooooop!That'senough!Thereisnopointintellingyourselfthisnonsense!Quotingmyformervolleyballcoach:“Playingfastisdifferentthanplayinginarush!”Indeed,inarushthereisstressandyoudonothavecontrolofyourthoughts.Inthesesituations,youneedtostopandchoosehowtoact.

Ifyouareimaginingascenethatmakesyoufeelanxious,stopit!Shrinkunhelpfulmentalimagesasifyouwerewatchingthemonamobilephonescreen,switchthemtoblackandwhiteandpushtheirvisuallocationawayintothedistancesothatyoustruggletoseethem.

Ifyourinternaldialoguebothersyou,changeit!UsetheveryeffectivemantrafromDr.Bandlerandrepeatitinyourmind:“Shutthefuckup,shutthefuckup,shutthefuckup…”untilyoucannothearthatvoiceanymore.

Second:Move,changeyourposture,danceforawhile.Yourbodyandmindareconnected;whenyoumoveyourbodyyoualsomoveyourmind.

Third:Breathedeeply.Yourbrainneedsoxygen,sogiveittoit!Maybeit'salsotimetodrinkaglassofwater(sometimeswethinkpoorlybecausewearedehydrated).

Fourth:Smile.Onceagain,bodyandmindareconnectedandholdingevenafakesmilereleasessubstancesinyourbrainthathelpyouchangeyourstate.

Fifth:Ausefulthoughtthathasalwayshelpedmeis:"MaybeIwon'tbethefirstorthesmartest,butI'mnotthestupidesteither...andifsomeoneelsesucceeds,Icandoittoo."

©Copyright2020 Alessandro Mora22

Sixth:Afteryouhavestoppedtheunproductivestateofmindandemotion,learntouseyourinternalremotecontrolandswitchthechannel,soyougettochooseamovieyoulikeinsteadofascaryone.

Lookatthesituationfromanewperspectiveforamomentandfocusonpossiblesolutions.

Donotsufferinthesituation;instead,lookatwaystotakeactiontowardsasolution.

Basically,putyourselfinanewandgoodstateandfacethesituationwiththeawarenessthatthesolutionisthereinfrontofyou.

Iknowthatsometimesfearordiscomfortcanholdyoubackforafewmoments.Butrealizethatyoucanalwaysdosomethingtochangeit.Andyourimmunesystemisworkingatitsbestwhenyoucreateafeelingofcertaintyinyourbody.

Remember,thereareemotionalstatesandstatesofmindwithoutresources,butyouhavealltheresourcesyouneedtocreateachange,now.

AlessandroMoraMasterTrainerofNLPandPeakPerformanceCoachEkis-TheCoachingCompanyItaly

©Copyright2020 Anne Helmerstuen 23

04 HOW TO HANDLE YOUR JOB AND YOUR CHILDREN - AT THE SAME TIME StrategiesforworkingfromhomeAnneHelmerstuen,Norway

Manyofuswhoareluckytostillhaveajob,havetoworkfromhomeinthesepandemictimes.Atthesametime,thechildrenhaveto“work”fromhomeaswell.Howisitpossibletobalancethesechallengeswithouteverybodygettingfrustrated?

It’stimetofindeasysuggestionstotakechargeofyourlifeANDkeepyourchildren,yourbossandyourselfhappy(oratleastashappyaspossibleinthissituation).

YoucanusepracticalNLPtipsandcreateaplanforbothyourdayandyourstateofmind.Evenmoreimportant;youcanpickyourselfupwhenyou“fail”tofulfillyourplansandgoalsfortheday,because,ifyouarea“normal”person/parent,thishappens!

Thetipswhichfollowcanbeutilizedindifferentsituations;whenyouneedtoworkfromhomeforotherreasonsorwhenyourdailyroutinegetsdisturbed.

Jane,agoodfriendofmine,wasdeeplyfrustratedtheotherday,becauseshehadanimportantdeadlinecomingupandhadhertwochildrenagedthreeandfiveathomeaswell.Everytimeshetriedtositatherdesktostartworking,herchildrenwouldstartfighting.Eachtime,shewent

©Copyright2020 Anne Helmerstuen24

backtothekids,separatedthem,gotthemtoplaywithdifferenttoysandwentbacktoherdesktocontinueherjob.

Thesamethinghappenedseveraltimesandshefeltherirritationandfrustrationrising.Sheimaginedhermanagerbeingannoyedbecauseshecouldnotmeetherdeadline.Inherhead,sheheardhermanagersaying:“Inthesetimes,meetingourclientstandardsisevenmoreimportant,andweareveryluckytostillhaveclients.”EverytimeJanetalkedtoherchildren,hervoicekeptgettinghigherandsharper,andherbodylanguagebecamestiffer.Hereyeshardened,herbreathingwasfastandshort.Thechildrenpickedupherangrysignalsinaheartbeat.Theyreactedwithuncertaintyandevengotabitscared,whichmadethemcry.Thebadsituationwasnowatitspeak,andJanefeltlikeabadmom.Itwasaviciouscircle.

How Jane can avoid or break the vicious circle

1. Controlherownstateofmind2. Planherday

Controllingourstateofmindiseasywhenwearerelaxed,asourbrainisfocusingononethingonly.Thechallengeiswhenourbrainisfullofemotions,chaoticinnerdialogue,imaginingpicturesoffailingsituationsandotherpeoplesayingbadthings.

Luckily, you can work on getting a pleasant and productive day. this is how:

1. Takecontrolofyourownstateofmind:• Makesureyouarerelaxedandhavetimetotakeafewminutestofocusonyourself

• Decidehowyouwanttofeelduringabusydayathome:Ø Whatdoesthatlooklikeandsoundlike,nowwhenyou

areinthatstate;o Yoursurroundings

©Copyright2020 Anne Helmerstuen 25

o Yourchildreno AndYOU

Ø Whatdoesthatfeellike,beinginthatstateo Whichtriggers(anchors)supportyourwanted

state;whatlooks,soundsandfeelsgood–tohelpyouenhanceandrememberyourgoal/thisstate.Itcouldbeapicture,musicoraspecifickinesthetictouchsomewhereonyourbody.Anythingthatsupportsyourgoal.

• Whenyou“lose”yourstate(andyouwillsometimesJ):Ø Beawarethatyoutemporarily“lost”it,andacceptitØ Takeadeepbreathandgotoadifferentplace/roomØ Rememberyourtriggers(anchors)see/hear/feelit,and

reinstallyourdesiredstateagainØ ContinuebreathingJØ Repeatasmanytimesasneeded

2. Planyourday:• Aheadoftime,makearealisticplanforwhatyouwanttoachievejob-wise:

Ø Underrateratherthanoverrate• Aheadoftime,makeplansforyourchildren:

Ø Preparemealswherepossibleo Bothmainmealsandsnacks

Ø PreparegamesØ Preparetoys

o Findthetoysthathavebeenfurthestbackintheclosetandbeenforgottenforawhile–theywillseemlikenewtoys

o Hideawaysometoyssoyouhave‘new’oneswhenyouneedthem.AtChristmasorbirthdays,whenachildgetsnumerousgifts,youcanevenhidethemawayforanotherday(thisworksonlywithsmallerchildrenJ).

• Havebreaksoften:Ø Spendthesebreakswithyourchildren

o Eatyourmealstogether

©Copyright2020 Anne Helmerstuen26

o Gooutifpossible-exerciseandmovementaregoodforeverybody

• Setuprealisticdecisionsaheadaboutwhenandhowyourchildrencandisturbyou:

Ø Informyourchildrenabouttherules–thisisyourdecisionandnottobenegotiated.YOUaretheboss(acaringboss)withafirmandsmilingvoice(rememberyourstate).Sticktoyourdecision

Ø Explaintheagendafortheday,includingmany“rewards”,likedoingsomethingtogetherinthebreaks

Ø Encourageandcomplimentthechildren• Makeafilminsideyourheadwhereyouseeyourselfdoingthestrategiesabovewhileworkingathomeandplayingwiththechildren:

Ø Makesureyouseethefilmfromanangle,asa“flyonthewall”whereyouarecalmandhandlingyourownstateandthenthechildren

Ø Runthefilmseveraltimes• Andveryimportant:Benicetoyourself

Janegotbacktomeaftertryingouthernewstrategies.Shetoldmethatherbiggestchallengewaschangingherbeliefthatagoodmotheralwayssaidyesandneverraisedhervoice.However,whenshefocusedontheobviousoutcomeforthechildren,Janefoundanotherandbetterwayofreframingherbelief;acalmmotherwithclearandconsequentdirectionshasextraenergyforfuninthebreaks.Sometimes,therewerestillsomeissuesofcourse,butmostly,shewasabletohandleherself,andthereforedealwithbothherjobandherchildren.

Janerecommendsthesestrategies,butyouaretheonlyonetodecideifthisissomethingforyou.

AnneHelmerstuenNLPTraineratTrainYourBrain.noNorway

©Copyright2020 Cindy Galvin 27

05 LEVERAGING YOUR FOCUSHowsuccessfulleadersfindsolutionsindifficulttimesandyoucantoo

CindyGalvin,UnitedKingdom

How do you view problems?

Allbusinessesfacechallenges,buthowyouassesthemwillmakeabigdifferencebetweenfindingsolutionsmorequicklyandfeelingstuckinfearorworry.

Whenyouhaveanissuethatneedsresolving,doyouinstinctivelyfocusondetailsordoyoustepbackandthinkabouthowitfitsintothebiggerpicture?

Ifyouthinkabouthowtheissuerelatestothecompany’sgoals,you’rechunkingup,inNLPterms,becauseyou’vebroadenedyourperspectivefromspecificstoageneralideaorconcept.

Let’ssayyoursalesteamhasfailedtomeettargetthepasttwoquartersandoperatingprofitshavebeenaffected.Bychunkingup,youmightseesalesrevenuesaspartofthecompany’scashfloworbusinessstrategy.Thinkingthiswayremovesyoufromanyemotionassociatedwiththepoorperformanceandgivesyourmindthefreedomtothinkcreativelyandbrainstorm.

©Copyright2020 Cindy Galvin28

Atthispoint,youcanchunklaterallytolookforsimilaritiesorexamplesofotherthingsyou’veexperiencedorlearned.Thisiswhereyourmindcanfreeassociatebylinkingtogetherthingsthatwouldnormallyhavenorelationtoeachother.

Forexample,youthink‘strategy’andyourmindshootsbacktothesummercampyouattendedasachild.Yourememberreturningoneyeartofindallthesleepingdormsmovedclosertothelake,andhowyou’dheardyearslaterthatthecamphadsignificantlyhikeditsfees.Hmmm…maybemovingthesalesteamtooneofthecompany’slesscostlylocationscouldbeanoption.

Ifyoufocusondetailslikehowproductionschedulescouldbetweakedorwhetheryouneedtoreducethesalesteam,you’rechunkingdown.Thisisparticularlyvaluablewhentheoutcomehasbeendecidedandyouneedtoknowexactlywhatstepsarerequiredtoachieveit.

Here’sanotherwayofunderstandinghowchunkingworks.Thinkaboutasailboat.Youmightseeitasamodeoftransportationormovement(chunkingup)orsimilartoridingabicycleorskateboarding(chunkinglaterally).Thinkingaboutthesail,rudder,engineandmastwouldbechunkingdown.

Allformsofchunkingarevaluable;it’sknowingwhentousetheminthemosteffectivewaytogettheinformationyouneed.

Inmyexperience,managerswhostayfocusedondetailscanlosesightoftheforestforthetrees,toquotetheoldsaying;whilemanagerswhofocusonlyonthebigpicturecangetlostinabstracts.Thosewhoareadeptatusingallformsofchunkingwilltypicallyrisetoseniorleadershippositionsbecausethey’reseenasvisionariesandcreatives,whileequallycomfortableworkingwithdetails.They’reofteneffectivecommunicatorsandnegotiators.

A tool that’s useful anywhere, anytime

I’dbeenworkingwithaseniormanagementteamonimprovingcommunicationsandsolvingsometrustissueswhenoneofthe


managers,namedDavid,pulledmeasideandaskedifcouldworkwithhimonapersonalissue.That’snotmyusualareaofcoaching,butIwantedtoseeifIcouldhelphim,soIaskedhimwhatwasgoingon.

Davidsaidhe’dbeenhavingadifficulttimetryingtobalancehiscareerandfamilylife.Hisfamilywasn’thappy,andhisworkwassufferingbecausehewasdistractedandwasn’tsleepingwell.

Afteraskinghimafewquestions,twothingsbecameclear:• Davidwasfocusingsolelyonthedetails–abusytravelschedulemeanttimeapartfromhisfamily;he’dmissedmostofhischildren’sschooleventsoverthepastyear,andhewastiredanddistractedmostofthetime.

• Hebelievedhisworkandfamilylifeweremutuallyexclusive;muchofhisunhappinesswasbasedinthefeelingthatheneededtochooseoneovertheother.Hewantedmyhelpwithhowtodecidewhattodo.

InhisbookUsingYourBrainforaChange,Dr.RichardBandlerdescribesabeliefas,“acommandtothenervoussystem”.Bybelievinghecouldn’tkeephiscareerandhisfamily,Davidwassendingsignalstohisbodythatkepthimstressed,whichisnotagoodstatetobeinwhenmakingdecisionsofanykind.

Byfocusingonthedetails,Davidwasstuck.Thiswaswhereaskingtherightquestionscouldshifthisfocusfromdetailstogeneralconcepts.

Iaskedhimtoseparatethetwoissuesandanswerquestionssuchas,“What’simportantinyourlife?Whatareyourultimatedesiresandgoals?Whatdoyougetfromhavingboth?Whatwouldn’tyouhaveifyoudidn’thaveboth?”

Bychunkingup,hefocusedonwhatfamilyandcareermeanttohimandsawtheyweren’tmutuallyexclusive.Infact,bothmatchedvaluesthatwereimportanttohim:satisfaction,asenseofaccomplishmentandofgivingback,andprideinachievements.Helovedhisfamilyandenjoyedwatchinghischildrengrowup;helovedthecompanionshipofhiswifeandthememoriestheyhadtogether.

Hiscareerallowedhimtoprovideahomeforhisfamilyandenablehischildrentoattendgoodschools.Hecouldtakethemonfamilyvacations,whichmadeeveryonehappyandcreatedgoodmemories.

©Copyright2020 Cindy Galvin30

HeaskedhiswifethequestionsI’daskedhim,andtheyeventuallyrealizedtheysharedsimilarlifegoals.Shetoohadfocusedonallthethingsthatweren’tworking,sotheshiftinperspectiveallowedherbrainthefreedomtothinkdifferently.

Atthispoint,theycouldstartchunkingdowntofigureoutexactlyhowtheycouldfindtherightbalance.

Helping with negotiations

Chunkingisalsohelpfulinbusinessnegotiations.

IworkedwithaCOOwho’dspenteightmonthsnegotiatingthebuy-outofasmallcompanythatwouldgivehisbusinessaccesstonewmarketsandanimmediateboosttothebottomline.Iwascalledinafterthedealstalledaftereightmonthsofnegotiating.

Whennegotiationsstall,it’sessentialthatbothpartiesreflectonwhatthedealmeansforthem.What’stheultimateendgoalandobjective?Bothpartiesneedtotalkthisthroughandcontinuechunkingupuntiltheygettothepointwherethey’reinagreement.

Afterthis,thereshouldbearenewedenthusiasmforgettingthecontractsignedbecausebothpartiesclearlyseeandagreewhat’satstakeandwhatthey’llbothgetoutofit.Nowtheycanresumehashingoutthedetails.Andwhentalksstallagain,theprocessrepeats.

TheCOOgotmarketshareandacashinfusion,whiletheownersofthesmallercompanygotsupporttoredesigntheirproducts,anexpansivemarketingcampaign,andtheknowledgethattheycouldcomfortablyretireseveralyearslater.

How you can do thisThefollowingquestionsareguidestohelpyoubeginwithchunking,andI’msureyou’llthinkofothersthatarejustrightforyoursituation.

Chunkingup• Whatareweultimatelytryingtoachieve?


• Whatpurposedoesthishave?• What’sthegoalorvision?

Chunkingdown• Exactlywhatdoweneedtodotoachievethegoal?• Whatspecificallydoyoudowiththis?• Whatstepsneedtobecompletedeachdaytoachieveourtarget?

Chunkinglaterally• What’ssimilar?• Whatisthisanexampleof?• Whatdoesthisremindmeof?

Nowthatyou’velearnedaboutthechunkingprocess,andhowyoucanuseitinanysituation,noticehowmuchfunyoucanhaveandhowmanymoreideasyou’rethinkingofbyswitchingyourfocus.

CindyGalvinClinicalhypnotherapist,NLPtrainer,authorwww.cindygalvin.com UnitedKingdom

©Copyright2020 Chris Cummins32

06 FROM FACE TO FACE TO VIRTUALSmallthingsthatcanmakeabigdifferencewhenwebegintousemoretechnologytoworkwithourcustomersChrisCummins,UnitedKingdom

Why

IrealizedwhyvirtualtechnologywassoimportantthemomentIarrivedbackfromatriptotheUStofindallourcustomerswerepostponingappointmentsduetoCovid-19.

Toputthingsintocontext,werunaglobalcorporatetrainingorganizationandourcustomersincludesomeofthelargestcorporationsintheworld.Wehavemorethan100businesscoachesandabaseintheUKwherewe’vejustinvestedinanewtrainingsuite.

Facetofacetrainingingroupandonetoonesettingshasbeenourlifefor

thepast13years.Thiscurrentsituation,ifweallowitto,couldmakethingsverydifficultforus.

However,“everyadversity,everyfailure,everyheartachecarrieswithittheseedofanequalorgreaterbenefit”,sosaidNapoleonHill,andoverthepastfouryearswehaveincreasedtheamountofvirtualtrainingwedo.Therearegoodreasonsforthis,whichinclude:

1. Customersdon’tneedtospendmoneyonflights,hotelsandfeedingtheirteams

2. Customerscaninvestthemoneythey’vesavedonevenmoreanddifferenttraining

3. Wecanconductmoreworkshopsinthesameamountoftime

©Copyright2020 Chris Cummins 33

4. Wecanspendmoretimerunningthebusinessandlesstimetravelling

Thesessionscanberecorded,delegatescanthenreviewthetrainingatanytime.

When/Where

Now,morethanever,isthetimetobegintoknowhowtousevirtualtechnologieslikeZoom,AdobeConnect,MicrosoftTeamsandotherplatforms.Themoreyouembracethetechnologynow,theeasieritwillbetokeepandgrowyourcustomerbaseoncethissituationisover.

Who

Overthepastmonth,90%ofourcustomershavebecomeconvincedthat,ratherthanleavingtheirleadership,salesandmarketingteamsidleathome,theywillbenefitfromhavingvirtualtrainingtoensurethattheirmindsarereadyforwhentheygobacktomeetingcustomersfacetoface.

We’redoingmoretrainingthanusual,becauseourcustomers’customersarealsoathomewonderinghowthey’regoingtokeeptheirbusinessesgoing.So,we’veveryquicklyputVirtualResilienceworkshopstogether,invitingguestspeakerstogivepeopleideasonhowtobestrongandresourcefulatthistime.

How

Therefollowsastep-by-stepguidetoconvertingyourtrainingandcoachingprogramstovirtualsessionsthatareengaging,informativeandwillhaveyourcustomerswantingmore.


• Decidewhichoftheproducts/programs/interventionsthatyounormallydofacetofacecouldbe,withalittleadjustment,convertedtovirtualsessions.Forexample,weruntwo-daycoachingworkshopsandhavedistilledthemainelementsoftheprogramintotwo90-minuteonlinesessions

• Reviewyourcalendarandtheprogramsyouhadalreadybooked,anddecidewhichofthesecouldbecarriedoutvirtually

• Connectwiththecustomerswhoalreadyhavetimebookedwithyou;offeranalternative“virtualsession”andsellthebenefitsversuspostponement

• Makesureyou’vewrittenthetrainingprogramsyou’replanningtouseoverthecomingmonths

• Advertisethatyou’redoingthisonyourwebsiteandmedialikeLinkedIn,Instagram,Twitter,Facebook-whereveryourcustomerbaseis

• Contactallyourcustomersandletthemknowthatyou’renow,fortheforeseeablefuture,offeringvirtualprograms.Theyareallathome,sonowisthebesttimetocontactthem

• Becomeproficientindifferentvirtualplatforms.Inthreeweeks,ourbusinesshasbecomeexpertinZoom,AdobeConnectandMicrosoftTeams.Thisconvincescustomersthatwecanrunvirtualsessionsfortheirteams.WehaveacustomerwhoonlyusesSkype;weconvincedthemtorunaZoomsessionfor40oftheirsalesmanagersfromacrossEuropeandtheylovedit

• Getthesessionsinyourdiaryandstartrunningthem

Thenext‘how’ishowtomakeyourvirtualtrainingsessionsasclosetothephysicalexperienceaspossible…

Making the Virtual Training/Coaching Experience as Close to The Classroom Environment as Possible

Planyourenvironment- Firstofall,thinkabouttheenvironment.Chooseaquietplacewithoutanybackgroundnoise.Infact,whynothavemusicplayingwhenyourdelegatescomeintoyourtrainingsession?Ithelpstorelaxthemandmakethemfeelwelcome

©Copyright2020 Chris Cummins 35

- Thinkaboutyourbackgroundandremoveanythingthatmaydistractthepeopleyouaretalkingto.Ifyoucanuseavirtualbackgroundwithsomechangeablepositivequotesitcanbeinspiring(thisfunctionalityisavailableonZoom)

- Makesureyouarelitfromthefronttoavoidbeingashadowonthescreen

- Havewhateveryouneed(trainingmaterialsetc.)withinreach,toavoidmovingoff-screen

- Haveaglassofwaterhandy

Planyourtechnology- Ensureyouhaveplentyoftimetocheckyouhaveagoodinternetconnection,yourwebcamisworking,allyourpresentationmaterialsarereadyandavailabletoshareonthescreen

- Turnoffyourphone,emailandnotifications,andclearyourdesk.Thiswillhelpyoutomaintain100%focusontheinteraction

Planyourself!- Makesureyouhaveplentyoftimetoensureyouaresittingcomfortably.Thinkaboutwhatyouwillwear.Youareoncamera,whichmeansbusinessasusual!

- Getyourselfintotherightframeofmind- Andpractice,practice,practice- Getusedtoyourselfbeingoncameraandspeaking- Trydifferentfacialexpressions

EnergyYouraudiencecansenseyourenergylevelthroughyourtoneofvoice,sotheirenergylevelandinterestwillmirroryours.Speakwithenthusiasmandsmile,justasifyouwereinthesameroom.Gesturingalsohelpstomaintainenergy.

VaryyourvoiceUseavarietyofvolumes,pitchesandrhythmstomaintainengagement.

PauseUseofsilenceismucheasierwhenyouareinthesameroom.Itcanfeelmoreuncomfortableinavirtualenvironment.Resisttheurgetojumpin,givetimetoallowthinkingandtimetorespond.

UseclearlanguageOften,bodylanguageandgestureshelppeoplefillinanygapsinunderstanding.Inthevirtualspace,youneedtopaymoreattentionto


theprecisionofyourlanguagetoensurethattheintendedinformationisreceivedbyeachandeverydelegate.

LookintothecameraLookstraightintoyourcamera,notthescreen.Itisamazingthedifferencethismakesinholdingtheirattention.

ChrisCumminsJointManagingDirectorofOTDNLPMasterTrainerforBusinessUnitedKingdom

©Copyright2020 Christiane Neumann 37

07 DEALING WITH FEAR AND ANXIETY IN CHALLENGING TIMESACovid-19storywithpracticaltipstofeelbetterChristianeNeumann,LosAngeles

Lastnight,myfriendLisacalled.Shesoundednoticeablystressedwhileshetalkedabouthernewsituation.Duetotheextremelyreducedworkload,heremployercouldonlypayherfortwodaysperweekandtheremainingthreedayswouldbeunpaidtimeoff.Because shewasinthecountryonaworkvisa,shecouldnotapplyforfinancialassistancelikehercolleagues.Shewasveryfearfulaboutbeingunabletopayherrentandotherongoingexpenses,especiallybecausenobodycouldsayhowlongthesituationwouldlast.ThenLisastartedtotalkaboutallsortsofnegativeeffectsthatitcouldhave.Shebegantopaintaverydarkpictureinherhead,soItoldher“STOP”.

Iacknowledgedthatthesituationwaslookinggrim.Iaskedhertoputthatasideforasecondandtakeadeepbreath.Lisarepeatedthatshefeltafraidandanxiousasshedidnotknowhowthiswouldworkout.Tointerruptherwayofdescribingthesituation,Itoldhertocomplimentherselfforherhonestyandawareness.Itisquitenormaltoexperienceemotionsaboutunfamiliarsituations,especiallywhentheyinvolveuncertaintyandseemtobeoutofourcontrol.Beingawareofwhatisgoingoninsideisimportantbecauseitinfluences

©Copyright2020 Christiane Neumann38

whatwecando.So,acknowledgethefeelingsthatyouareexperiencing,becausewhenyouareawareofthem,youcandosomethingaboutthem.

Myapproachworked.Lisawassilentforamoment,thenaskedcuriously,“Okay,whatdoyousuggest?”Well,letmeexplain.When you are aware, now instead of simply reacting to what is going on inside, you can acknowledge that you might not be able to control what is going on in the world out there, but you can influence how you ‘respond’ in your internal world.Youhaveachoicetoreacttoa situationortorespondwithpurpose.Whichdoyouthinkwillbemore useful?Letmesharesomeinsightsandanexercise.Whenwegothroughchallengingtimes,itishelpfultobepreparedbyknowingsomecopingskillsinadvance.Let’scallthisour‘personalinternalemergencykit’.Especiallywhenpeoplehavebeenthroughbadexperiencesbefore,itiseasytogettriggeredbasedonrememberingthepastinsteadofthinkingclearly.So,whenweexperiencetoughorchallengingtimes–nosloppythinking!Itisimportanttopayattention!Forexample,withallthesensation-seekingnewsmedia,onecaneasilybepulledintoaholeofnegativityandhopelessness.Itiscrucialtobeawareofhowwefeelsothatwecancalibratetowhatmakesusfeelgoodorupset.Andwhenweknowthedifference,wehaveachoice.

Hereisanexample.Picksomethingyouarecurrentlyunsureorfearfulabout.Takeyourphoneoratimerandsetitto1minute.Thenstartthetimerandtalkaboutthetopicstartingwith“whatif”andmentionallthenegativeaspectsthatyoucanimagineaboutituntilthealarmrings,thenstop.OK,go!

Afterthis,moveyourbody-shakeoutyourarmsandwalkafewstepstogetridofthatcreatedenergy.Thensetthetimeragainto1minute.Nowstartagainwith“whatif”,butthistimetalkaboutyourtopiconlyinapositiveway,includingpossibleopportunitiesandgoodoutcomes.OK,go!

Didyounoticethedifference?Whenwespeak,wealsolistentoourspokenwordsandtheyaffecthowwefeel.Thinkingisaformofspeakingtoourselves;thewaywethinkcreatesfeelingsandthosefeelingsthenleadtowhatwedo,whichinturnalsoaffectswhatweachieve.


Easytoremember:Think Feel DoResults.

TheCovid-19pandemichasremindedusallhowimportantpersonalhygieneandhandwashingare.Somaybewecanconsidergood,clearthinkingasaformofinternalhygiene.Anditshouldbedoneoften,especiallywhenunpleasantstuffisgoingon.

Myfriendfinallylaughed.Thenwespokeaboutideasofwhatwecandoinchallengingtimeslikenow.

• Weallcravecertainty,sointimesofuncertainty,createyourowncertaintyinareaswhereyoucan.Forexample,setadailyroutine(writealist),dothingsyoulikeandcando,whicharefamiliarandgiveasenseof“normality”.

• Focusonwhatyoucandoandwhatisinyourcontrol.Remember,youcancontrolwhatyouthinkaboutandwhatyoufocuson.Payspecialattentiontoyourlanguage,becausewordscreatefeelings/emotions(rememberthe“whatif”exercise).

• Beeasyonyourself.Hey,it’sOKtohavemomentsoffearoranger.Itmattershowlongwestayinthosemoments.Bestnottohangouttheretoolong;theycanbecomesticky!

• Incaseyoufeeldown,askyourself“whatspecificallywouldmakemefeelbetterrightnowinthismoment?”andhavealistathandwith‘healthy’options.

• Acknowledgethesituationandconsidersolutions.HaveaplanAandaplanBforback-up.

• Beproactive,don’twaitforsomeoneelsetodoitorfixitforyou;researchforyourself,andfindoutaboutoptionsandopportunities.

• Connectwithotherpeople.Ifyoudon’tfindwhatyoulike,organizeasupportgrouporafunsocialgroupyourself(allpossibleonline).

• Reachouttootherpeoplewhomightbeabletohelp.Youmightbesurprisedhowmanypeoplearewillingtohelpwhenasked.Forexample,thischapterwaswrittenasaresultofgettingafewpeopletogethertodiscussideas,andsomeonesuggestedwritingthiscollaborativebook.

• Giveanothermeaningtothesituation;somethingwithapositivetone.RegardingCovid-19,Ihaveheardthingslike“atimeforreset”,“theopportunitytodothingsweneverhadtime


for”,“timetorefocusandsetnewgoals”,“timetoseethattheairiscleaner”andmanymorepositivethings.

• Payattentiontowhatyouwatchinthemediaandwhoyoulistento,asthatwillalsohaveaneffectonyourmind.Ifitbringsyoudown,changethechannel!

• Volunteerordosomethingniceforsomeoneelse.Itcanbeassimpleascallingsomeonetosayhelloor,whenyougotothestore,askinganeighboriftheyneedanything.Doingsomethingforothersusuallymakesusfeelgoodaswell!

• Whenwedon’tknowhowlongsomethingmightlast,itoftenhelpstoputamentaltimeframetoit.Thatgivesyouroomtoplananddecidewhatyoucandointhattime.Andthinkaboutit.Ifyousay,“ittakessoandsolong”,incasethesituationendsbeforethatimagineddeadline,youmostlikelywillbehappilysurprised.Ifyouputthedatetooshort,youcanreassessthesituationatthatlatertimewithmoreknowledgeandsetanewtimeframe.

Whiletalkingabouttheseideasandlookingattheoptions,Lisaappearedtorelaxabit;shestartedtojoininwithherownideas,namingpeopleshecouldconnectwithandreachoutto.Sheseemedtobeinterestedtohearmore.So,Iaddedthatnotonlyourthoughtsbutalsoourphysiologyandattitudehaveaninfluenceonhowwefeel.“Howisthat?”Lisawantedtoknow.“Well,let’sdoanotherquickexercisetobetterunderstandthis.”

Foramomentnow,shiftyourbodytoslouchforward,andlookdown.Whileinthisposition,thinkofsomethingsadandnoticehowitisquiteeasyinthatposition.Thendotheopposite,putyourshouldersback,straightenyourbodyandlookup–nowtrytofeelsadinthisposition.Notsoeasy,right?

Itisproventhatwhenwesmileorlaugh,wereleasepositivehormoneslikeDopamine,SerotoninandEndorphins,whichhelpourbraintofunctionbetter.Powerposes,likethevictoryposewithbotharmsliftedtowardthesky,alsohaveapositiveeffectonourmood.Thatisbiologicallyautomated.Calm,deepbreathingaffectsourheartfunctionandoxygenlevelinthebrain.Wecanmakeuseofallofthis.

Whenwecombineusefulthinkingwithpositiveattitudeandpostures,itispowerful.Wecanbuildpowerfulinternalstatesinwhichwethenfindbetterideasandsolutions.Soinsteadofdwellinginthenegative


aspectsofasituation,wecanfindwaystobetterdealwithwhatisgoingonbytakingcontrolofourinternalworldandgeneratemoreusefulstatesthatmakeusfeelbetter.

“Yes,Igetit,”saidLisa,“it’smucheasiertothinkwhenIamcalmer.ButhowcanIgenerateagoodstatewhenIamfeelingoverwhelmedwithallthat’sgoingon?”That’sagreatquestion.Awarenessisthekey.Noticewhatyouarenoticingandacknowledgewhenyouarestartingtofeeloverwhelmed.Insteadofpositivehormones,inanticipateddangerourbodyreleasesstresshormonestopreparefora‘fight-flight-freeze’reaction.Thosehormonescausethepre-frontalcortexinourbraintoshutdownandwecannotconvertinformationfastenoughtothinkclearly.Therefore,itismucheasiertostopthespiraldownwardrightatthebeginning,insteadoflaterwhenwearealreadyinautomated‘fight-flight-freeze’mode.Itisbesttobepreparedinadvance.Rememberthe‘personalinternalemergencykit’?

Hereisonemoreexercise,soyouhaveahelpfulresourceincasethingsgetemotionallytough:

Forthisexercise,itismostusefultostandupandcloseyoureyes.Tosetanicestartingpoint,withclosedeyesimaginethatyouareinyourmostfavoriteplace,whereyoufeelcalmandsecure.Breathedeeply,andfullyenjoybeinginthatwonderfulplaceforamoment.Thenthinkofsomethingthatyoulove.Itcouldbeaperson,apet-whateveritis,imagineitnowandallowyourselftofeeladeepsenseoflove.Letitwarmyourheartandeverycellinyourbody.Whenyoufeelthelovefullyandstrongly,takeyourthumbandanotherfingerandpressthemlightlytogether.Wecallthatanchoring.Youareanchoringagoodfeeling.Great!Note,themoresenses(seeing,hearing,feeling,smelling,tasting)youinvolve,thebettertheresult.

Thentakeanotherresourcefulfeeling.Forexample,‘accomplishment’.Somethingthatyouareproudof,thatyouworkedhardforandthatyouhaveachieved.Findsuchanexperienceandstepfullyintoit.Bethere.Howwereyoustanding,howwereyouholdingyourshouldersandyourhead,whatdidyousee,hearandfeel?Letyourselffullyexperiencethatmomentagainasifitisnow.Whenyouarefullyinthestate,lightlypressthesametwoanchorfingerstogetheragain.Dothisexercisewithseveralmoreresourcefulstates,e.g.,confidence,curiosity,humor,strength-whateveryouthinkwillbehelpfulforyou.Whenyouhaveanchoredseveralresourcestates,presstheanchor


fingersandfeelallthoseexperiencesagain,fully,strongly.Letyourbodybatheinthosefeelingsandeverycelltobefilledwiththosegoodmemories.Enjoythisforamoment,thencomebackinthehereandnowandopenyoureyes.

Therewassilence,thenIheardLisasay,“wow,thatwasamazing!”Hervoicesoundedstrongandmuchcalmernow.Shethankedmeforthehelpfulconversationandsaidinaconfidenttonethatshewouldmakegooduseofallofthisnow.Itoldher“youareverywelcome;feelfreetoshareit.”

ChristianeNeumannCoach and Licensed Trainer of NLPMind Wellness Coaching

LosAngeles

©Copyright2020 Daniel Velasco Garcia 43

08 STARTING OVER GenerativechangeDanielVelascoGarcía,México

Lifeiscomposedofelementswhichconnectwitheachotherintime;someoftheseelementsareexternal(context,surroundingsandpeopleweinteractwith)andsomeelementsareinternal(ourexperiences,strategies,beliefsandvalues).

Bynavigatingthrougheachoneoftheseelements,wealignourresourcestofaceeachnewdayandreactbettertochanges,crisisandunexpectedevents.

The unexpected

Ifyouaskedmewhereisthemagicoflife,Iwouldsaythatitliesintheunexpectedandextraordinarythingsthatitofferstous:sometimesverylovelysurprisesandsomeothersnotsolovely.

Theunexpectedissomethingwhichpumpsemotionintoourlives.Otherwise,ifthingswerealwaysthesame,everythingwouldbesofamiliar,predictableandrepeatedthatwewouldgetbored.Thegreatsuccessassociatedtosuspensestoriesandmovies,ortosurpriseparties,isduetotheemotionsthattheyignite.

Ofcourse,wemustadmitthatsometimestheunexpectedcanbeverydifferenttowhatwewouldlike

©Copyright2020 Daniel Velasco Garcia44

orwhatwewouldpreferinamomentofchange.Thatiswhyitturnsouttobeveryimportanttobeabletobereadytostartoverinnewcontexts.

Acceptit!Everythingchanges:people,circumstances,technology,ideas…EVERYTHING!So,oncewehaveaquickwaytolearntoadjusttothosechanges,itwillbemucheasierandrewardingtostartover.

We have… what?

Let’sthinkoftheearlyyearsinschool:ourpeers,ourteachers(goodandbad,niceandnot-sonice)thebuildings,classroomsandcorridorswhichweresomuchapartofthisearlypartoflife.Aplacewelearned,playedandpretendedtobeafireman,adoctor,apoliceofficer;aplacewherewegrewanddevelopedoutsidethehomeenvironment.

Inthatnewenvironment,welearnedtosolveproblemsandfacenewsituations.Thismadeusdevelopnewabilitiesandcreatestrategiestomakedecisionsandachievegoals–thingsaseasyascountingusingourfingers.

Duringsportsactivities,youmustmakeuseofthepersonalexperiencesandstrategiesthatyouhavedevelopedinordertoapplytheminbasketball,volleyballoranyothercontest.Thatishowyougainsecurityandself-confidence.Itisalsohowyousolidifyexperiencesintoideasandbeliefs,whicharestrengthenedwithineverymatchthatiswon,ormodifiedandadjustedwitheverymatchthatislost.

Andonceschoolisover,yougettounderstandthatyouhavelearnedmuchmorethannumbersandthealphabet.Youhavelearnedabouttheresponsibilityofaccomplishingagoal,howtoobtaingoodgradesfromyoureffort,tounderstandandacceptyourpeers’differences,perseverancetoacquirenewknowledge,strengthtoachieveindividualandteamgoals.Youhaveevenlearnedaboutsolidarityandlovingothers,likewhenyouplayedatbeingafireman.

Inotherwords:youbuildandcrystallizeyourvalues.


And how does he do it?

Oneday,Martin,atopexecutiveandformercoachingclientwithwhomI hadnohadcontactforalmostthreeyears,calledme.Afteradeepbreath,hebegantotalk…

“Idon’tknowwhattodo!Afterworkingforalongtimeinthefinancialworld,Igotbored.IresignedasadirectorofacompanyIdesignedandsetupsomebusinesseswhichdidn’twork.Ilostalotofmoneyandmyex-businesspartner(andnowex-friend)cheatedme.Iamalmostbankrupt.Imessedup!Canyouhelpme?”

SinceIknowMartin,itwascleartomethat:• Hisdecisionwasnotarandomone• Hiscircumstanceshadchanged(sodidhispartner)• Hisoutcomewasnotsatisfactory;hedidnothavetotalcontrol• Hehadafailingbusiness

WhatMartinhaddonewasstartwithanewideawhichhehadbeenponderingabout,andwhichhedidnotfeelsureabout,buthedidnotSEECLEARLYtherightpath.

Therefore,Itoldhim:NOWisthemomenttodosomething;youareinthemiddleofanimportantchangecausedbythiscrisis,soIwillaskyoutouseyourimaginationandmakeamovieinyourheadbeforeyouanswermyquestions.Youmaycloseyoureyesornot;theimportantthingisthatyouconsidertheanswers-donotsharethemwithmeyet,justwatchthemovie.

Iasked:Whereareyouworkinginthisnewproject?Visualizepeopleandplaces.Doyouknowthemall?Maybesomeofthosepeoplearenewclients,newsuppliersormaybenewemployees;considerallthepossibilities.Whenyouthinkaboutthisplace,imagineeverythingintheenvironment;thefacilities,theequipment,thematerialsandresources.

ThenIasked:Basedonyourexperience,whicharethestrategiesyoucanuse?Whatnewlearningwillyouhaveandapply?Howareyougoingtouseyourpersonalhistorytodealwiththisnewsituation?IwantyoutoSEEallpossibilities.

©Copyright2020 Daniel Velasco Garcia46

Wheneveryouconfrontanewchallenge,itisimportanttofeelsecurityandself-confidence.Inthisway,yourattitudetowardsthenewsituationwillallowyoutohavebetteremotionalcontrol,keepfaithinyourself,andkeepthenecessarymotivationtogoon.ThatiswhyItoldMartin:Thinkofallthepositivebeliefsyouhaveaboutyourself,considerallyouknow,allyoucandoandallyoucanachieve.Bringtoyourconsciousnessthereasonsyouhavetobelieveeverythingwillbeokay.

ThenItoldhim:Nowconcentrateevenmoreonthefollowing-theoutcomethatyouwillhaveonceyouhavemadeit.Observethatsatisfactionorfun;everythingyouknowyoucanhaveandwhyallthisisworthy.Andagain,seeallthepossibilities,becauseyouwillmakeit.

Finally,IaskedhimtosharehisanswersasIaskedallthequestionsagaintwoormoretimes,startingatthebeginninganduntiltheendinthesameorder.

Theoutcome?Tohaveadifferentperspectiveofthesituation,sinceyouseealltheelementsinandaroundthis“newlife”,thisnewbusiness.

Believeme,thesequestionsaremagicandtheiranswersvery,verypowerful.Theyillustratethemeansbywhichyoucannavigatethroughthedifferentaspectsthatconfigureyourlife,byaskingquestionsthatexploretheelementsassociatedtothenewcondition.

These are the steps

Youaregoingtoask(orsuggest)thepersonto:• Lookthrough(see,hearandfeel)thewholecontext:place,people

andtimewhenandwherethechangewillhappen.• Considertheactions,knowledgeandstrategieswithwhichthe

personisgoingtodealwiththechange.• Rememberallthepositivebeliefsassociatedtothechange;the

beliefsthatstrengthenself-confidence,securityanddetermination.

• Experience(see,hearandfeel)allthebenefitsthepersonwillobtain,oncetheyachievethechangeinasatisfactoryway.


Finally,askthesesamequestionswiththemovietwo,eventhreetimesmore,inordertokeepnavigatingthroughtheelementsofthisnewreasontogetaheadinlife.

But what if I am not in crisis?

Keepinmindthefactthatachangedoesnotneedtobedramatic,painfulandspectacular.Sometimes,itisabigdealforsomepeopletochangetheframeoftheirspectacles.Thisexercisewillhelpyoutoconsiderthemanyelementsassociatedtoanewcondition,coveringveryimportantissuesbecausethatchangewillhaveaneffectonyourself,yourfamilyandyourjob.

Alittlechangewillmakechangesinyourenvironmenttoo;gettingmarried,startinganewbusiness,decidingonamajoratuniversity,howtoinvestyourmoney,aplaceoractivitiesforvacations…Considerthatwhenyouanswerthesequestions,youwillbetakingintoaccountelementsthatcouldbeunobserved,becausetheyareso“obvious”.However,nomatterhowobvioustheymayseem,theycouldhaveabigimpactinthosenewconditions.

Byansweringthesequestions,youwillfindouthoweasyitistoSTARTOVER.

PS.Whenyouareflowinginlifeanditselements,youmayevenfindthatthischangeisnotthemostconvenientactiontotake,becauseyourdecisionnowismoreconsistentandsolid,sinceyouarenowembracingyourwholeself.

DanielVelascoGarcíaTrainerintheNLPInternationalSocietyMasterinOrganizationalDevelopment

©Copyright2020 Geoff Rolls48

09 WHO IS CARING FOR YOU?

GeoffRolls,UnitedKingdom

Probablylikemanyofyou,Ihavebeenfortunatetohavetravelledtomanydifferentplacesaroundthewordbyplane.Theonethingyouknowwillhappenshortlybeforetake-offisademonstrationbythecabincrew(orviavideo)demonstratingemergencyprocedures.

Often,Inotethatregulartravelersdon’talwaysseemtopaycloseattentiontothis.I’vealwaysbeenagoodpassengerandmadesureIpaidattention,andthisensuresI’mready.In

thesedemonstrations,thesewords,orwordslikethem,aresaid:“Shouldthecabinexperiencesuddenpressureloss,staycalmandlistenforinstructionsfromthecabincrew.Oxygenmaskswilldropdownaboveyourseat.Placethemaskoveryourmouthandnose.Pullthestraptotightenit.Ifyouaretravellingwithchildren,makesurethatyourownmaskisonfirstbeforehelpingyourchildren.”

It'saverygoodideathatyouwanttohelpotherpeopleattimesofgreatuncertainty,andensureyoulookafteryourselffirst.So,withthatinmind,haveyounoticedwhathappenstoyouasyoubreathe?Breatheoutonamirrorandyoucanseeabuild-upofcondensationthathasjustleftyourbody.Ifthisisjustoneout-breath,imaginehowmuchwaterwelosedailythroughbreathing,aswellasthroughthenaturalprocessesofperspirationandexcretion.Wealwaystalkonan

©Copyright2020 Geoff Rolls 49

out-breath,too.Ourhydrationismassivelyimportanttoouroverallwellbeing.

Whilstthereiswaterpresentinmanyfoods,thebodyisn’tabletomakeuseofituntilithasmadeitswaythroughthedigestivetract,andthenonlywhenitisfullyseparatedfromthewastematerialre-integratedintothebodyinthelargeintestine.Whenwedrinkwater,receptorsinthemouthrecognizeitandareabletomakeuseofthiswonderfulresourceimmediately.Iwonder,howmuchwaterdoyoudrinkdaily?

Weknowthatscientistsrecognizetheaveragehumanbodyismadeupofanythingbetween50%-65%water,muchofitinbloodplasma(about20%ofthebody’stotal.)Accordingtoastudypublishedin1945andstillwidelyquoted,thepercentageofwaterinthehumanheartandbrainis73%,thelungs83%,musclesandkidneys79%,theskin64%andthebonesaround31%.Weknowthatwateristheprimarybuildingblockofcellswithinthehumanbody.Watercanactasaninsulator,regulatingourbodytemperature.Itisalsoneededtometabolizeproteinsandcarbohydratesusedasfood.Itistheprimarycomponentofsalivausedtoaidinswallowingfood.Italsolubricatesjoints.Itactsasashockabsorberforthebrain,thespinalcordandtheorgans.It’salsousedtoflushwasteandtoxinsfromthebody.Itcarriesoxygenandnutrientsallthewayaroundthebody.Anditistheprincipalsolventwithinthebody,dissolvingminerals,nutrientsandsolublevitamins.Allinall,it’sveryimportant!

Peoplebegintofeelthirstywhentheyhavealreadylost2%-3%oftheirbody’swater.Beingdehydratedbyjust2%impairsourperformanceinmentaltasksandourphysicalcoordination.It’sreallysimpletokeephydrated.Whilstthereissomedifferentadviceoutthere,tokeepyourselfhydratedyouneedtoconsumeabout2liters(approx.68fl.oz.)ofstillwaterdaily.Recognizethatthemorehydratedyouare,themoreyoucanget“intotheflow.”

Whilstinitiallyyoumayvisitthebathroomalittlemoreoften,veryquicklyyourbodywillbecomeaccustomedtoitsnew,morehydratedstatus.

Thereareotherthingsyoucandotobeinabetterpositiontohelpyoutohelpothers.Here’sonewhichcanbedoneatanytimeanywhere;itjustrequiresyoutothinkaboutit.Haveyoueverseen

©Copyright2020 Geoff Rolls50

someonewhoseemstobehavingachallengingtimeholdingtheirheadintheirhands?It’sinteresting,asthey’renotdoingitbyaccident.Thepointstheyholdperformafantasticfunction;whenheldinaparticularway,theyhelptogetresourcetothefrontofthebrain,whichinastateoffight/flight/freezeisseverelylacking.

Theneuro-vascularholdingpoints-knownalsoastheBennettreflexes-arebelievedtoaffectthecirculationofthevascularsystemofvariousorgansandglandstoimprovemanyconditions.Whensomeoneisholdingtheirforeheadinaspecificway,theyareabletoinfluencethebrain’sabilitytocalmdownandgetbacktotheoppositeofthefight/flight/freezeresponse–‘restanddigest’.Inthestateofrestanddigest,wearebestabletouseallourresourcesasahumanbeing.Thewaywedothisisasfollows:

• Findapointhalf-wayacrossyoureyebrow• Measurehalf-waybetweenyoureyebrowandyourhairline

(orforthefolliclychallenged,whereitwouldhavebeen!)• Holdwithtwofingers,withnomorepressurethanyouwould

useoveraclosedeye• Keepholdingthisononeside,thendothesameontheother

side,againwithtwofingers,whilestillholdingthefirstside.• Relax,breatheabdominallyandmaybeyou’llbegintonoticea

lightpulsefromyourfingertips• Sometimes,youwillnoticethanthispulseisslightlydifferent

ononesidetotheother• Lightlyholdthesepointsforabout30seconds,oruntilyou

feelthetwopulsessynchronizing(ifyou’reabletodothat)• Beforeyouletgo,takeadeepbreathin,thenletgovery

gentlyonanout-breath,brushingagainsttheskinasyourelease

Payattentiontohowmuchcalmeryoufeelnow.Usethistechniqueagain,particularlyifthereissomethingyouareconsideringdoing,thatpreviouslyhasbeenstressfulforyoutoconsider.Thistime,asyouholdthepoints,seeyourselfdoingwhateveritisthatyouneedtodoeasilyandsafely.Again,holdingthesepointsuntilthepulsesynchronizes,allowthebrainandthebodytoseehowyou’regoingtodotheactivity.Runthefilminyourmind,faraheadenoughthatyouareabletocompletetheactivityandlearnbyhowyou’vedoneitthisway.Thistechniqueisusefulanytimeyouhaveanactivityto

©Copyright2020 Geoff Rolls 51

complete;it’sjustthatbyusingtheholdingpoints,ifthereisapotentiallystressfulelementtoanyofit,youcanensureyourbrainstaysinthestateofrestanddigest,whileyouperformtheactivityofseeingyourselfdoingit.Byusingthebody’sownabilitiesnowtopracticestayinginastateofrestanddigest,themindismorecapableofthinkingabouthowtodoit.

Thekeythingtorememberaboutanyofthesetechniquesisthatyouaretakingresponsibilityforstayinginamoreproductivestate,whichinturnensuresyouhavethelargestrangeofbehaviorsavailabletoyouatanytime.

Alwaysattachyourownmaskfirst,beforehelpingothers–lookafteryourself!

GeoffRollsLicensedTrainerNLPwww.headintobalance.comSurrey,UnitedKingdom

©Copyright2020 George Cunningham52

10 CONTROLLING YOUR INNER VOICEAsimplewaytochangeyourinnervoiceGeorgeCunningham,UnitedKingdom

Overtheyears,I’vehadsometerribleargumentswithpeople-andsomeofthemreallyhappened!

Howmanytimeshaveyoure-livedanargumentinyourhead?Perhapsyourehearsewhatyou’llsaytosomeonethenexttimeyouseethem.Ormaybeyou’vereadsomethingthat’smadeyouupset,angryoranxious.

Whenwereadtexts,emails,lettersoreventhenews,weuseaninnervoicetocreatemeaning.Whichvoiceweuseoftendependsonwhoiswriting.Sometimes,thatvoiceisniceandfriendly,makingusfeelhappy;sometimesit’sseriousandpanicky,makingusfeelanxious.Atothertimesthevoicemightbeangryorscathing,makingusfeelupset.

Howwoulditbeifyoucouldgetcontrolofthisinnervoiceandchangeit?

Thegreatnewsisthatit’spossibletogaincontrolofthisinnervoice,quicklyandeasily.Whetherit’sreadingthenewsheadlinesoratextfromanex,changingtheinnervoicecanbesimpleandfuntodo.

Manyyearsago,ononeofmyfirstNLPPractitionercourses,aladykeptreceivingtextsthatseemedtoupsether(oneofherchildrenwasillathomethatday).

©Copyright2020 George Cunningham 53

Whenwepausedforacoffeebreak,IaskedherifeverythingwasOK.Shetoldmethetextswerefromherex-husband,whoshewaspursuingforchildmaintenancepayments.Sheproducedherphoneandbeganreadingaloud.

NowIunderstoodwhyshewasupset.Itwasn’tthewordsthathaddoneit,shewasreadingthetextinhisangryvoice.IaskedifImayreadthetexttoherinstead.

ImimickedthesilkyaristocraticvoiceofBritishcomedyactorLesliePhillips(youmayknowhimasthevoiceoftheSortingHatintheHarryPotterfilms).Istarted,“Helllloooo,scrounger…Whothef#@*kdoyouthinkyouare…Youwanthowmuch…”

Shestartedlaughingloudly,alongwiththerestofthegroup.Ireturnedherphone,andshechangedherex’snameto‘LesliePhillips’thensetthethemefromthefilmCarryOnLovingashisringtone.IaskedifImayaltersomethingelse,andfortherestofthemorningweweretreatedtoLesliePhillips’catchphrase“Ding!Dong!”everytimeshereceivedatextfromherex.

Ofcourse,wecanusemanyothervoicestosimilareffect.I’msureyou’veheardsomeonespeakingafterinhalinghelium.ImaginehowPeppaPigorMickeyMousewouldsoundsqueakingDarthVader’ssinisterline,“Iamyourfather…”

So,overthecomingdays,simplyexperiment,andifyouarefeelinganxiousorangry,replacethatinnervoicewithyourfavoritecartooncharacterorcomedyactor.

Enjoytheresults,andremember,it’syourinnervoiceandyoucanchangeit.Youcandothiswhenyoureadthenews,rememberanargumentorthinkaboutdifficultpeople.

GeorgeCunninghamNLPLiverpoolLtdUnitedKingdomwww.nlpliverpool.com

©Copyright2020 Hannu Pirilä 54

11 FOCUS ON WHAT’S IMPORTANTHowtogetontherighttrackandliveahappierlifeHannuPirilä,Finland

Instressfultimes,itissoeasytogetcaughtupwithallthenegativenewsaroundusandletittakeholdofourfocus.Butfocusingonnegativenewswillnotbringyoupeaceofmind,norwillithelpyousolveyourproblems.

Whatyouneedtodoinstressfultimesisfocusonthingsthatareimportanttoyou.Thatway,youwillgivebetterinstructionstoyourbrainandtakecontrolofyourownlife.

Severalyearsago,Iwascontactedbyamotheroftwoyoungchildren

whoworkedasaCEOandwasaco-ownerinasmallfamilybusiness.

Shetoldmeinhermessagethatherlifewas"unmanageable”.Thismanifestedasinsomniaanddifficultyinrelaxing.Shewantedhelpinsleepingbetterandgettingridofpanicattacksinsituationswhereshefeltthatthe"houseofcardswilltumble”.Inourmeeting,shetoldmethatshehadn'tsleptwellforseveralyears.

Aftertalkingwithherforawhile,Idecidedtogethertomapoutherhierarchyofvalues.Afterthesurvey,sherealizedthatshedidn'tspendmuchtimeatallonthethingsthatweremostimportanttoher.Thisinsightandacoupleoffurtherexercisesmadeherlookatherlifeinawholenewway.Sheleftthemeetinganevidentlychangedperson.

Anotherclient,awell-knownrockmusician,approachedmewithadifferentkindofdistress.Hefeltthathehadachievedprettymucheverythinghewantedinhislife.Hehadfameandfortune–thethings


thatpracticallyeveryrockmusicianwanted.Yethehadstartedtofeelmoreandmoredissatisfiedwithhislife.Hewasconfusedanddidn’tknowwhattodo.

Oneofthefirstthingswedidwasdefinehishierarchyofvalues.Hewasblownawaybythefindings.Hesaidthiswasoneofthemostremarkablethingshehadexperiencedinhislife.Hiswordswhenheleftourmeeting:“Whywasn’tIawareofthis?Thesethingsshouldbetaughttoeveryoneatschool!”

The Importance of Goals and Values

Indifficulttimes,insteadoffocusingonlimitations,askyourself:“WhatdoIwantmylifetobewhenallthisisover?”And:“WhatcanIdorightnowthattakesmetowardswhatIwantandwhatisimportanttome?”

Inotherwords,youneedtodefinewhatyouwantandwhatisimportanttoyou.Whatwedefineasimportantareourvalues.Throughourvalues,andespeciallythroughthehierarchyofourvalues,wealsoprioritizeouractionsandbehaviors.

Itisimportanttorealizethatourvalueschange.Iftheychangeveryoften,ourlifewillprobablybeverycomplicated.Yetintimesofmajorchangeorcrisisinourlives,itisgood,sometimesevennecessary,thatwemakechangestoourvaluesystem.Thesearealsothetimesyouneedtobemoreawareofyourvalues,sothatyoucanemergebetterandstrongerthanyouwerebefore.

Goalsandobjectivesguideouractions.Whenyourgoalsandobjectivesarebasedonwhatistrulyimportanttoyou,yousharpenyourfocusandgiveyourbrainbetterinstructionsaboutwhattodo.

TheCoronaviruspandemicwillpass.Therealdifferencecomeswhenyouobserveyourlifeonalongertimeframe.Takingcareofyourselfandyourlovedonesisimportant.Andsoislifeoncethepandemicisover.


Values and The Hierarchy of Values

Anotherpracticalbenefitofknowingyourvaluesystemisthatwhenyouareawareofwhatisimportanttoyou,itismucheasiertomakedecisionsinyourlife.Often,whenweagonizeoveradecision,justaskingourselves,“whatisimportanttomeinthismatter?”allowsthedecisiontospringupbyitself.

So,let'sgettothebottomofwhat'simportanttoyouinyourlifeandprioritizethosethings!

“Knowingwhatyourvaluesareisexcellent,becausehappinesscomesfromlivingyourvalueseverysingleday,regardlessofhowcloseorfarawayyourgoalsmayseemtobe.”PaulMcKenna(1)

Exercise, Part 1

Askyourself:“Whatisimportanttomeinmylife?”

Sitdownforawhileandthinkaboutit.Writedownthethingsthatareimportanttoyouinyourlife.Thesecouldbethingslikefamily,friends,love,work,money,subsistence,freedom,independence,safety,happiness,success,honesty,sincerity,hobbies,etc.

Theaboveisalistofthingsthatsomepeoplemightfindofvalue.Whatisimportantisthatyouformyourownlistspecificallyofthingsthatareimportanttoyou.

So,spendafewminutesreflectingandwritingdownwhatisimportanttoyou.Trytolistmaybe4-8values.Iftherearemorethan10ofthemattheoutset,thinkagain;ifeverythingisimportant,thennothingisimportant.

Afteryouhavecompletedyourlist,takeafewminutes’break.Goandhaveaglassofwater,forexample.That’salwaysgoodforyou.ThenreturnanddoPart2oftheexercise:


Exercise, Part 2

Takealookateachvalueyouhavewrittendown.Takingeachinturn,askyourselfwhatisimportanttoyouineach.Searchinsideyourself,andwhenyougetananswerfrominsideyourself,askinturnwhatisimportanttoyouinthat(whateveryouranswerwas).Thenaskwhatisimportanttoyouinthat.Keepaskingthesequestionsuntilyoucan’tfindanymoreanswers,oryougetthesameanswer.

Forexample,ifyouhavelisted“happiness”asoneofyourvalues,askyourself,whatisitthat’simportanttoyouabouthappiness?Ifyouransweris,“feelinggood”,thenaskyourselfwhatisimportanttoyouabout“feelinggood”.Andwhateveryouranswertothatis,askyourselfwhatisimportantaboutthat.

Afteryouhavegonethroughyourwholelist,askyourselfifanyofyouranswersisavaluethatshouldbeonyourlist.Didyouperhapselicitnewvaluesthroughthequestioning?Ifyoudid,andyouthinktheyareimportanttoyou,addthemtoyourlist.

Often,ifourvaluesappeartobebasedonthingslikesecurity,wemightfindsomekindofavoidanceofinsecuritydrivingthatthought.

Whetherourfocusisonwhatwewanttoavoid,orwhatwewanttomovetowards,itisofgreatimportancetoourmentalstate.Soif,behindourvalues,liestheneedtoavoidsomething,weprobablyunconsciouslyexperiencebadfeelingsandareunconsciouslymovingtowardsthingsthatweactuallywanttoavoid.

Thepointisthis:Themorethattherearethingswewanttoavoidbehindourvalues,themoreweexperiencebadfeelings.Bybecomingawareofthesethings,youhavealreadytakenyourfirststeptowardsfixingthem.Itisextremelydifficult,ifnotimpossible,tofixsomethingwedon’tknowneedsfixing.

Therefore,itiscriticalthatyougothroughyourvaluescarefullyandreflectuponwhatisimportanttoyouabouteachvalue-andthatyouareextremelyhonestwithyourself.


Havingcoachednumerousclients,Icansaythatmostpeoplearenotawareoftheirvalues,particularlytheirhierarchyofvalues.Whenyouknowwhatisimportanttoyou,youconsciouslypaymoreattentiontothoseimportantthings.Andwhenyoustarttoworkmoreandmoreonthethingsthatareimportanttoyou,youbegintonoticethatyourdaysincludemoreandmorethingsthatbringyoupleasure,happiness–andsuccess.

So,let’sdelveintoyourhierarchyofvalues...

Exercise, Part 3

Takealookatyourfinalizedlistofvaluesnowandcomparethetwovaluesatthetopofthelistagainsteachother,asking:“Whichoneismoreimportanttome,this[thefirstvalueonthelist]orthis[thesecondvalueonthelist]?”

Forexample,ifthefirstvalueonyourlistis‘happiness’andthesecondvalueis‘love’,youwouldaskyourself:“Whichismoreimportanttome,happinessorlove?”

Iftheanswertothequestioniscrystalclear,youcanacceptitasitis.If,however,youhaveanydoubt,oryouponderbetweenthem,youcanask:“IfIhadthis[thefirstvalueonthelist]butIwouldnothavethis[thesecondvalueonthelist]wouldthatworkforme?Ontheotherhand,ifIhadthis[thesecondvalueonthelist]butIwouldn’thavethis[thefirstvalueonthelist],wouldthatworkforme?”

Asanexample,ifyouhad‘happiness’asthefirstvalueonyourlistand‘love’asthesecondvalue,youwouldaskyourself:“IfIwashappy,butIwouldnothaveloveinmylife,wouldthatworkforme?Whatwouldmylifefeellike?Ontheotherhand,ifIhadlovebutIwouldnotbehappy,wouldthatworkforme?Wouldmylifeworkforme?”

Anotherwaytomakeadecisionistoask:“CouldIgiveuphappinessforlove?”Or“CouldIgiveuploveforhappiness?”


Noticethatwhenyouaskthesequestions,itisextremelyimportantthatyouasktheminbothways.

Iunderstandthatchoosingamoreimportantvalueoutoftwoimportantvaluescanbechallenging.Itcanhelptopayattentiontoyourfeelingsratheryourreasoning.Somehow,yourunconsciousmindwillcommunicatetoyou,oftenthroughthesensationsofyourbody.So,trustyourfeelingsandmakeyourchoice.

Whicheverofthetwovaluesfeelsmoreimportanttoyou,chooseitforthenextcomparison.

Next,takethemoreimportantvaluefromthepreviouscomparisonandcompareitwiththenextvalueonyourlistbyaskingagain:“Whichismoreimportanttome,this[the‘winner’ofthepreviousvaluecomparison]orthis[thethirdvalueonyourlist]?”

Let’sassumehere,forthesakeofexample,thatfromthefirstcomparisonyoufelthappinesstobemoreimportantandthethirdvalueonyourlistis“friends.”Thistimeyouwillask:“Whichismoreimportanttome,happinessorfriends?”

Ifneeded,utilizethesamequestioninglayoutagain:“IfIwerehappy,butIwouldnothavefriends,wouldthatworkforme?Ontheotherhand,ifIhadfriendsbutIwouldnotbehappy,wouldthatworkforme?Wouldthatworkinmylife?”Oryoucanalsousethiswording:“CouldIgiveuphappinessforfriends?Or,ontheotherhand,couldIgiveupfriendsforhappiness?”

Whicheverfromthesetwovaluesfeelsmoreimportanttoyou,choosethatagaintothenextcomparison.

Next,comparethemoreimportantvalueofthepreviouspairtothenextvalueonyourlistbyaskingagain:"Whichismoreimportanttome,this[themoreimportantvalueofthepreviousreferencepair]orthis[thefourthvalueinthelist]?"

Inotherwords,youalwayschoosethemoreimportantvaluefromyourcomparisonandcompareittothenextvalueonthelist.Continuethiswayuntilyoureachtheendofthelist.Thevaluethat‘wins’thelastcomparisonisyourmostimportantvalueandthereforenumberonevalueonyourhierarchyofvalues.So,writeit


downanddrawalineoveritonthelistsothatyouwillnolongerincludeitinthefollowingcomparisons.

Thengobacktothelistandgothroughitinthesamewayfortheremainingvalues.Gothroughtherestofyouroriginallistofvaluesandalwayswritedownthe‘winner’valueoftheroundtoyourhierarchylistanddrawalineoveritonyouroriginallist.Whenthereisonlyonecomparablepairleftonyourlist,thelasttwo‘places’foryourvaluehierarchywillbesolvedforyou.

Itisworthrememberingthatevenifyou'veputyourvaluesinahierarchy,whichmeansthatsomevaluesaremoreimportanttoyouthanothers,allyourvaluesarestillimportanttoyou.Thehierarchyofvaluesisimportant,becauseifwecannotmakeadistinctionbetweenthem,itisdifficulttomakedecisions.Whenyouknowwhatyourmostimportantvaluesare,theywillguideyourlifemoreclearlyinthedirectionyoureallywanttogo.

Itisalsoworthrecognizingthatourvaluescanchangeveryquicklyandquiteradically.Ifyouexperiencearadicaleventinyourlife,orevenachieveasignificantgoal,yourvaluescanbetransformedintoadifferentsetofvaluesinaflash.Forexample,peoplewhohavesurvivedaseriousaccidentoftenrecreatetheirvaluesandlivesinaverydifferentform.Similarly,oncewehaveachievedamajorgoal,anewgoalanditsassociatedvaluemaythenfillourfocus.

“Themostimportantchoiceyoumakeiswhatyouchoosetomakeimportant.”MichaelNeill(2)

Whenyoukeepyourfocusonthethingsyouwant,andyouwanttomovetowards,fourgoodthingshappeninyourmind:1. Youbegintogetideasthatwillenableyoutogetwhat

youwant.2. Youbegintodiscoveravarietyofresourcesthatwillhelpyou

getwhatyouwant.3. Yourmotivationforwhatyouwantismaintainedand

evenincreased.4. Youbegintounconsciouslydevelopfeaturesinyourselfthat

enableyoutogetwhatyouwant.

Unfortunately,approximatelythesameappliestothereverseifourattentionisonthingswedonotwant,orwewanttoavoid.Inthis


case,wewillonlygetmoreofwhatwedonotwantand,inaddition,feelbadfeelings.

So,yourfocusisofgreatimportance.Whenyoukeepyourthoughtsonwhatisimportanttoyou,youareonyourwaytofulfillthem.

Theyoungentrepreneur-motherthatItoldyouaboutatthebeginningofthischaptersentmeamessagethedayafterourmeeting,saying:“Thankyouverymuchforyesterday!IhadareallypeacefulfeelingandIsleptincrediblywelllastnight.Wow,whatafeeling!”So,forthefirsttimeinseveralyearsshehadsleptwell.

Ifounditpivotalthat,bybecomingawareofherownhierarchyofvalues,shewasabletorealizenewthingsinherlifeandnoticenewalternativesthathelpedhertomakenewandbetterchoices.

Aboutsixmonthsafterwemet,shesentmeanemailtosaythatherlifehadnowawholenewdesign,andthatshewasenjoyingherlifeinawholenewway.

Asformymusicianclient,hestartedtocontemplatehislifeinanewway.Afteraboutayear,heheldapressconference:hewasgoingtoquithisbandafter16yearsandgoforasyetunknownadventures.

Ihadseveralmeetingswithhimalongtheway,inwhichweexploredseveralNLPtechniquesandexercises.Althoughallwereveryhelpfulandinsightful,onlyafewhadthesameimpactasbecomingawareofhishierarchyofvalues.

1)PaulMcKenna:ChangeYourLifeinSevenDays,page126-127,BantamPress,20042)MichaelNeill:YouCanHaveWhatYouWant,page211,HayHouse,2009

Hannu Pirilä Coach, Trainer & Consultant Flow Mentaalivalmennus https://mentaalivalmennus.fi http://hannupirila.com

©Copyright2020 Hingdranata Nikolay62

12 INSTANT CONTROLTellyourbrainwhattodo,oritwilldoyou!HingdranataNikolay,Indonesia

Who is in charge?

Inmostsituations,whenyouletyourbraintakechargeautomatically,itwillrunonautopilot;justasyoudothingseveryday.Youwakeup,gotoworkorstayhome,doyourjobs,sleep,etc.What’swrongwiththat?Nothing!

Nothing,exceptwhenthingsarenotthewaytheyusedtobe.Likerightnow!Youarenotabletodothingsasyouusuallydo-well,exceptifyouusuallydonothing!

Youcannotdoyourjobthewayyouusuallydoit,youcannotsellthewayyouusuallysell,youcannotdobusinessasyouusuallydoit.Attheendoftheday,youcannotseetheresult,asyouusually(inmostcases)seeiteasily!So,youareeitherbusycomplaining,frustrating,runningbackandforthlikeachickenwho’slostitshead,ormaybe–maybe-thinkingofideashowtosolveit.

But,here’sabut…Whatyouseeandhearonthenews,onsocialmedia,messagesonyourphoneallcrippleyou!Youlostit!Theworldhasgonemad!Youcannothelpit!Everysecond,youwanttocheckalltheupdates!Youneedtosurvive!

MyGod!Youcannotdowhatyouusuallydo,youcannotdowhatyouwanttodo,youcannotenjoywhatyouwanttoenjoy!And,yes,there’s

©Copyright2020 Hingdranata Nikolay 63

anand:theysayit’sgoingtotakesometime,andtheydon’tevenknowwhenitwillbeover.And,yes,there’smore:theybringyoumorebadnewseverysecond!

Rightnow,youareincharge!Evenifyouwanttothinkofanidea,yourbrainhacksyourday.Itdrivesyourhandtowardsthatbuttontoupdateeveryminuteoftheday,itfloodsyourbodywithinsecuritiesandblocksyourthinkingability!

It’s time to take back control!

Youknowyouneedtostopandthink!Youknowyouneedtotakecontrolofyourselfandproducesomething!Anything!Youknowyoudon’tliketobefrustratedorstressed!Buthow?

Goodquestion.Ifyoudon’ttakecontrolinanysituation,directyourthinkingandactonpurpose,yourbrainalreadyhasitsownautomaticsystem.Andinasituationlikethis,fear,angerandsadnessaremostlywelcomeinyourbrain.It’snormalbrainbehavior,becauseitwantstotakecareofyourwellbeing.Andifitdoesn’thaveanynewinstructions,itknowswhattodo–let’sbestressful!

So,if(that’sabigIF)youreallywanttothinkandfindideas,youneedtotakecontrol!Tellyourbraintostopit!Andthink!Youcannotexpectyourbraintothinkofideaswhenitrunsonemotionmode!How,yousay?

Even Theresia can do it!

Iputtogetherthisstrategy,whichistriedandtestedonmyclients,especiallyforwhenthevirussituationbecameincreasinglyfrustrating.Oneofthemajorbanksinmycountryhasappliedthisstrategytoitsstaffmembersandreportedhowithelpsthemtostartthedaywell,keepsthemproductive,andassistsindealingwithanxieties.

Myeldestdaughter,Theresia,washavingproblemsconcentratingwhenIintroducedthisstrategytoher.Youknowteenagers,howfloods

©Copyright2020 Hingdranata Nikolay64

ofinformationfromsocialmediagetintotheirbrainswithnostopbutton.Sheexperiencedinstantfocusafterpracticingthistechnique.Now,everytimesheisanxiousorfeelsanykindofdisturbanceinthemind,shejustdoestheexerciseandtakescontrolback!

Let’s Do it!

Readytotakecontrol?Herearethesteps!

1. TakethreedeepbreathsTakethelongestin-breathyoucan,holdyourbreathfor3-5seconds,thentakethelongestout-breathyoucan.Repeatthreetimesminimum(upto4-5timesisokay).Thiswillnotjusthelpyourelax;itwillalsoincreaseyourheartratevariability(HRV),whichwillincreaseyourcognitivefunction.

2. Takea‘SuperHero’poseStandstraight,pushyourchestforward,standakimbo(handsonwaist),chinup,andholdfor2-3minutes.Thisinstantlyrearrangesthechemicalsinyourbodyandreducestheamountofcortisolfloodingyourbodyinastressfulsituation.

3. ClosethefirsttwostepsabovewithamantraThismantraisasentenceyoucanuseasananchor.Youcanusewisewords,afavoritequote,afavoritephraserelevanttowhatyouwanttodo.Makeitshort,sayfourorfivewords.Sayitasyoumeanit.Sayitasyougiveyourselfadvice.

4. Giveyourselfaspecificinstruction.Saythreethingsyouwilldoafterthis.Yourinstructionmustbespecific,e.g.,1.Turnonthelaptop,2.Dothereport,3.Calltheboss.Yourbrainneedsspecificinstructions,otherwiseitwillgetbacktoitsautomaticmodeagain!

©Copyright2020 Hingdranata Nikolay 65

Use It Anywhere, Anytime!

Youcanusethisatthestartofyourday,thebeginningofyourshift,orwhenyoufeeluneasy.Notjustduringthisvirussituation,butanytimeafterthishasallpassed!

Someofmyclientsreportthatthistakeseffectforthelengthoftimetheyneedtofinishatask,from90-120minutes.

Ifyourbrainsomehowtriestoremindyouagain(withagoodintention,ofcourse!)ofallthedangeranduncertaintiesoutside,dotheexerciseagain.Rememberthattheinformationwillalwaysbefloodingyoureyesandears.So,doitwheneveryouneedit.

HingdranataNikolayCEOofNLPIndonesia®.LicensedMasterTrainerofNeuro-LinguisticProgrammingwww.nlpindonesia.com

©Copyright2020 James Seetoo66

13 KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE MovingforwardthroughtimesoftroubleJamesSeetoo,USA

Intimesofturmoil,there’sinevitablyalotofuncertainty,andtheresultinganxietycanbeoverwhelming.Theconstantdrumbeatofbadnewscanbeoverwhelming,andthesirencallofdisastercanfixaperson’sattentioninawaythatcrowdsoutanythingelse,creatingafeedbackloopofbadimages,badmessagesandbadfeelingswhichspiralsoutofcontrol.

There’sanoldsayinginjournalism,“ifitbleeds,itleads”,whichreferstothefactthatpeopleareinevitablydrawntosensationalismandbadnews-farmoresothanfromgoodnews.Howmanyofyouhavebeendrivingalongahighwaywhenallofasudden,everycarslowsdown,brakelightsflashing,andtrafficgrindstoacrawl?Yourfirstthoughtisverylikelytobethatthere’sanaccidentahead,whichnaturallymakesalotofsense.

Forthosewhohavebeendrivingforawhile,yoursecondthoughtisverylikelytobetheaccidentisontheothersideofthehighwayandeveryoneisslowingdowntohavealookatthecrash.ThisphenomenoncanbeseeninoneoftheNLPMetaProgramsknownasmovingtowardspleasureandawayfrompain.

Andsincethemajorityofpeoplewilldomoretoavoidpainthantogainpleasure,thismechanismaccountsforthatcravingtoseeandhear

©Copyright2020 James Seetoo 67

badnewsinordertobeabletoavoidpain,evenifyou’renotinanareawhereyouarepersonallyinjeopardy.

Afterall,forewarnedisforearmed,isn’tit?

Ofcourse,concentratingonwhatyouwanttoavoidtakesupthebandwidththatyouwereprobablyusingtomovetowardsyourgoal,andknowingaproblemexistsisthefirststeptotakingcontrolofit.Ifyou’removingawayfromsomething,it’smuchbettertoalsobemovingtowardssomethingelse–somethingbetter.

Ratherthanfeedingintoadestructivefeedbackloopofwatchingnewsthatmakesyoufeelbad,listeningtonewsthatdrivesaless-thanoptimalinternaldialogueandamplifyinganxietyandotherbadfeelingswhichmovethroughyourbody,takingonalifeofitsown,thefirstthingtodois-Stop!

Beforeyoubegintoreset,re-evaluateandbuildnewstrategies,thefirstthingtodoisstopfeedingthebeastoftheoldonethatisn’tworkingforyou.So,stopanddissociatefromwhat’sgoingonandevaluateyourcurrentsituation.Ifyou’resick,orcaringforsomeonewhoissick,yourstrategywillbedifferenttoifyou’reworkingfromhomeoroutofajobduetothecurrentsituation.

So,asyoubegintodissociatefromthesituationandturndownthevolumeonthedrumbeatofbadnews,youcanbegintochangeyourperspectiveandreallydeterminewhatthesituationisforyouandyourfamily.

Therearethingsthatareunderyourcontrol,suchaswhatyoulookat,whatyoulistento,andhowyoufeel.Andtherearethingsthatyoucan’tcontrol,suchasthespreadofanepidemicoryouremployershuttingdown.It’sintheconflationofthetwocategories(thingsyoucontrolandthingsyoudon’t)thatcanleadtofeelingsofhelplessness,despair,pessimismandanxiety.

Asafirststep,startlistingthethingsthatyouhavecontrolover,suchaswhatyou’rewatchingandwhatyou’relisteningto.Thenyoucandetermine-isittrue,isitrelevantand,mostimportantly,isitrelevantforyou,becausethisisthebeginningofanewstrategy.Afterall,strategieshavetoadaptassituationschange,butchangingshort-termstrategiesdoesn’tmeanlong-termstrategiesandtheirgoalshavetobethrownout;adversityisanopportunitytore-thinkwhat


we’vebeendoingandgenerateingeniousnewsolutionstodealwithchangingconditions.

Thenmakealistofthingsthataren’tinyourcontrol,suchasworkconditions.Youmightbeexperiencinganxietyoverworksituations,andwhileit’snatural,it’sjustan“awayfrom”strategy.Sonowisthetimetotakeaninventoryofyourskillsandseehowtheycanserveyouinthecurrentconditions.Youcantaketheopportunitytoaddtoyourskillsetandtakeyourselfwhereyouwanttogo.

Remember,themapisnottheterritory;sowecantaketheopportunitytoexplorewhatelsewecanputonourmapinordernotonlytonavigatethetroubledwaterswefindourselvesin,butalsofindnewwaystoworktowardsourultimatedestination.

Thisisnottosaythatyoushouldignorewhatisgoingon,andofcoursetakeallnecessaryprecautionstopreserveyourselfthroughthecurrentsituation.Yetorientingyourselftowardswhatwillhappenafterwardswillgiveyouapathwayforward.

Becausewhenyoumaketheimportantdecisiontotaketheopportunitytoaskyourself“whatcomesnext?”youcanbegintocreatesomethingtomoveforwardtowards,ratherthanjustwaitingforsomethingtohappentoyou.Let’stryalittlethoughtexperiment…

Imagineyou’restandingonapaththroughabeautifulfieldwiththesunshiningdown,warmagainstyourskin.Andnoticethatwhat’sinfrontofyouonthispathisyourfuture,andbehindyou,withthepathcurvingslightly,isyourpast.

Noticethattherearethingsinthepastthatyouremember–thingsthatheldyouback,andwhenyouhavethatfeelingofbeingheldback,thatfeelingyounoticeisjustamemory;it’sjustathought–somethingthathappenedinthepast.Andyoucanseethosethingsbehindyouandthat’swheretheybelong,inthepast,somethingthathappened,andthebestthingaboutthepastisthatit’soverandnowyouhavetheopportunitytodosomethingelse,somethingdifferent,somethingfun,somethinggreat.

Becausethosefeelingsarejustsomethingyouwerethinkingwithoutrememberingthatyouwerethinking.They’reoldmemoriesthataretheretoteachyoualessonthatyou’velearnedandarenolonger


appropriate.Afterall,whenyouwerethreeyearsoldyouweren’tallowedtocrossthestreetbyyourselfbecauseitwasn’tappropriate,butifyouwerestilldoingthesamethingnow,youwouldrealizethatit’sjustsomethingthatyouusedtodoandnowknowbetter.

Justrealizingthatwhenthesememoriescomeupinasituation,that’salltheyare–justamemory.Andifthey’reappropriateyoucanusethemappropriately,andwhenthey’renottheycanfadebacktowheretheybelong–inthepast.

Likethosememories,thecurrentsituationwillalsobethereonedaysoon,andfeelingsofhelplessnessandofpowerlessnessarealsojustthoughtsthatcanbemovedandputintherightplace.Taketheopportunitytotrythatonforsize;thinkaboutthecurrentsituationandmakeapictureofitbehindyou,inthepast.Andonceyou’vedonethat,thinkaboutthosethingsthatyouhavecontroloverandnoticewheretheysitonyourtimeline.

Whenyoulookinfrontofyoutothefuture,youcanseeyourselfconcentratingonwhatyouhavecontrolover-especiallyhowyou’remakingyourselffeelinthecurrentsituation.Whenyoushiftyourfocustowhatyoucontrol,noticethat-nomatterhowfarforwardyoulook-howeasilyyoucanreachoutandbringthatpictureofyouhavingwhatyouwantclosertowhereitiswithinreach.

Whenyou’recomfortablewithyournewfocus,imagineyourselfinthefuturelookingbackatyourselfinthepresent.Noticehowitfeelstohavegonepastyoursituationnowandlookattheworldthroughtheeyesoftheyouwhohastakencontrolofyourlife.

Lookbackatyourselfinthepresentandnoticethestepsthatyoutooktogettowhereyouarenow–inthefuturewhereyouhavenotonlytakencontrol,buthavealsotakenactiontocontinuetomoveforward,despiteobstaclesintheway.Eachoneofthesestepshasledtowhereyouareinthisfuture,andnowthatyouknowhowtogettowhereyouwanttogoasyoutakebackcontroloveryourlife.

Asyoulookatthesesteps,isthereanythingmissingthatwouldmakeiteasierforyoutogettowhereyouarenow?Openyourselftoallthewaysofgettingwhatyouwant.Andbyallowingyourselftobuildnewstrategies,putthosestepsinplaceandonceyou’resatisfiedthatthestepsmakesensetoyou,imagineyourselfpullingoutapenandapieceofpaperfromyourpocketandwritedownthestepsyoutook


togettowhereyouarenow.Includealltheencouragementyouwanttogiveyourpastselftomoveforwardwithconfidenceandassurancethatyou’removingtowhereyouaremeanttobe.

Onceyou’vewrittenthesteps,imagineyourselfinthepresentlookingatyourfutureselfandreachintoyourpocket.Noticethatthenoteyourfutureselfwrotetoyouisinyourhandandreadit,knowingthiscomesfromyourfutureselfwhohasalreadyachievedwhatyouwantandmatchthemessagetothestepsyouseeinfrontofyou.

Becauseyou’venowmappedoutagreatfutureforyourself,youcanseethefirststepyoucantakeandthenthenextandthenext–allthewhilebeingconfidentthatyou’vealreadydoneitinthefuturesoallyouhavetodoistakethestepstogetthere.

Now,walkforwardtojoinyourselfinthefuture,takingthestepslaidoutbeforeyou,walkingthepathtowardsyourfutureandnoticehoweasyitistobeconfidentinjusttakingthestepsthatyoualreadyknowarelaidoutforyou.

Andonceyou’vejoinedyourselfinthefuture,noticethefeelingofconfidenceandassurancethatyou’vedevelopedjustbymovingforward,buildingmomentumintakingthestepstoyourfuturetoknowthatyoucanusethesestepstoachievewhateveryouwantwithconfidenceandsurety.

Andbecauseofthis,suddenlytheshort-termobstaclesbecomelessimportant,knowingthatanythingintheshorttermisonlyanotherstepinyourprocessofgettingtoyourfuturestepsallbysimplytakingthefirststepforward.

Now,lockinthatfeelingofconfidenceandnotice,justlikebefore,thefeelingspinninginyourbody,thecolorofthatfeelingand,whenyousaythatcolortoyourself,makeitbrighterandmorevividtothepointwhereyoucanseetheworldthroughthatcolor’sfilter.Noticehowyoucanmovethroughtheworldwithconfidence,knowingthatinanysituationandthatyouaremeetingitwithconfidenceandassurance.

Youcanusethisinanysituation,especiallynowtofocusyourselfonthosethingsyoucontrol,becauseafter,ifyou’rereadingthis,itmeansthatyoubelievethereisafutureandbypreparingforitnow


you’llhaveawayforwardwithsomethingmuchbetterthan‘normal’tosomethinggreat.Whenanobstaclepresentsitself,itcanseeminsurmountable.Yet,ashistorytellsus,thistooshallpass,andwhenitdoes,havingastrategyforwhathappensafterit’soverwillkeepyoumovingforward,regardlessofwhatcomesyourway.

Forafreeself-hypnosisrecordingtokeepyoumovingforward,gotowww.jc2consulting.com.

JamesSeetooTrainer,Consultant,Coach,BestSellingAuthorJC2Consulting,www.jc2consulting.com

©Copyright2020 John G. Johnson72

14 WRITE YOUR WAY TO FREEDOM HowtouseexpressivewritingtoclearyourmindoffearsandanxietiesJohnG.Johnson,USA

"Itwasthebestoftimes;itwastheworstoftimes!"(theopeningphraseinCharlesDickens’ATaleofTwoCities) .Thepresentworldwidepandemicmakesthelatterhalfofthatphraseseemappropriate–certainlyforsome.Wearetold,orordered,to"shelterinplace. It's for our safety."Forhowlong?That'sunspecified;tobedeterminedatalatertime.So,wenowhave'free-time'onourhands.But,asthesayinggoes,nothingisfree.There'salwaysapricetopay."Andsomeofusaredoingjustthat.Theroutinelyfocusedmindhasnowbecome

unfocused,everydaypatternshavebeeninterrupted.Thishasallowedthereal virusofthemind-fearsandanxieties-totakeholdandspread,infectingourwellbeing.

Feelingsandemotions,whenunexpressed,stressesthebodyandthemind.Itmakesusunproductiveandsusceptibletoevenmoreunwantedweaknesses.For example,acompromisedimmunesystem,irritability,lackofself-control,unclearthoughts,andmore.Those who are restrained, trapped by their angst, might feel that there's either no hope, a limited solution, or none at all. Butrestassured,creativeoutletsdoexist...literallyinyourhands.

OneofthepillarsofNLPisthis:"Humans already have all the resources to affect change."Adheringtothisbeliefallowscreativeideasandstrategiestoflow.Ifyouareabletowrite(a pen and paper)

©Copyright2020 John G. Johnson 73

thenyouliterallyhavethesolutiontoyourproblem/challenges.Writinghaslongbeenusedtofindsolutionstoproblems,ignitethecreativespark,clarifythinkingandcrystallizegoals.Psychologistsarenowconfirmingwhatwritershavelongknown,whichisthatthesimpleactofwritingisnotonlycathartic-meaningonehasanoutlettorelease,expressandstoretheirfearsandfrustrations-it'salsotherapeutic,asitassistsinboostingphysicalandpsychologicalhealth.

Varioustypesofstrategicwritingmethodsexist,somesimple,otherselaborate.ExpressiveWritingisonesuchmethod;whencombinedwithaspectsofNLP,it'spowerfulandeasytoputtouse.Thistypeofwritingisbestdonethetime-tested,old-fashionedway...(withapenandpaperinsteadofthecomputer).

Part One

Toolsandskillsneeded:Stopwatch/timer,penandpaper,positiveattitude.

STEPONE:

A. Findalocation.Makeitaregularplacethatyouwilldedicatetowriting.

B. Setthetimerto5minutes.

STEPTWO:

Identifyandassociateintoadisturbingemotionalexperience,orfrustration.

STEPTHREE:

A. Startthetimer.B. Then write about this deep emotional experience, or frustration.

It's important you write - non-stop- for five minutes. DO NOT liftthe pen, self-censor or edit as you write. There is no need to beconcerned with the logic of what you are writing. In fact themore illogical your writing seems the better; this means you areaccessing the deeper parts of your mind. This is good.

©Copyright2020 John G. Johnson74

STEPFOUR:

A. Stop writing when the five-minute timer rings.B. Breathe IN for a count of four; HOLD the breath for a count of

four; then EXHALE on a count of six (four, four six). Do this forthree rounds.

C. Notice the sensations in your body and thoughts in relationto what you wrote about.

Part Two

Gothroughthepreviousstepsinthesameway-except- for steps three and four

STEPTHREE:A. Startthetimer.B. This time write about the same experience, but from the third

person perspective; this simply means using pronouns (I, you,he, she, it, they). This helps to you to put distance between you andthe issue in question, and allows you to see the same situationfrom a different point of view- a new perspective, which cratesoptions and choices. As the saying goes, "I need some space, somebreathing room to think - differently..."

C. Writeaboutthisdeepemotionalexperience,orfrustration.It'simportantyouwrite-non-stop-for5minutes.DONOTliftthepen,self-censororeditasyouwrite.Thereisnoneedtobeconcernedwiththelogicofwhatyouarewriting.

STEPFOUR:A. Stopwritingwhenthe5-minutetimerrings.B. Breathe IN for a count of four; HOLD the breath for a count of four;

then EXHALE on a count of six (four, four six). Do this for threerounds.

C. Noticethesensationsinyourbodyandthoughtsinrelationto whatyouwroteabout.

D. Ask yourself this question, reflect and write down your answers:What insights, meaning or benefits did I discover that can assistme in living the life I deserve?

©Copyright2020 John G. Johnson 75

The steps outlined are a great way to re-center yourself; it clears away the metaphorical; debris in the mind that consumes unnecessary energy, a resource that can be useful elsewhere, such as building the life you deserve.

Anotetoseasonedandaspiringwritersharboringunhealthybeliefsaboutcreativity;themethodpresentedisonewaytotapintoit.Theworkyou'vegeneratedcanbeusedasastartingpointforcraftingastorybornfromyouruncertainties.Allyouneedtodois,asscreenwritingguruRobertMcKeesays,"storyfy"itbyapplyingtheprinciplesofstorytelling.Youalsohaveotheroptionsforuncoveringstoryprompts.Searchyourworkforaword,phrase,sentence,orparagraphthatlightsasparkofintrigueorinspiration.

Somelife-alteringeventswecan'tcontrol.Butwhatwecancontrolishowresilientandcreativeweareandthepositivemeaningswecanminefromthemomentinordertobereadyforopportunitiesawaitingus,beggingtobeseized.So"theworstoftimes"canbethe"bestoftimes".Theresourcestoinfluencechangearealreadywithinyou!

JohnG.JohnsonLicensedNLPTrainerwww.NLPSuccessByDesign.com"DiscoverYourStrengths.Transformyour-Self"

©Copyright2020 Dr.Juan Antonio Perez76

15 IS IT YOU OR THE MOUNTAIN?

Dr.JuanAntonioPerez,Venezuela

BeforeIwas15yearsold,Ihadlivedin13cities.Myfatherwasanofficerinthemilitary,somovingandstartingoverandoverwasnormalforme.Helpingtopackeverythinginboxes,markingthemout,watchingpeopleenteringmyhousetotakeeverythingaway,longridesinthecaroronairplanes–itwasallnormal.Newhouse,newbedroom,newschool,makenewfriendsinandoutoftheclassroom,newteammatesinthebasketballandsoccerteam…Iwasveryfortunatethatthesethingswereeasyforme.Iwasn’tshy-quitetheopposite!

Istartedconversationswithoutoverthinking,mysportsskillswerefairlygoodsocoachesandteammatesopeneduptomeeasily.Sincerely,Ididn’tknowwhatfear,self-doubtorlowself-esteemwere.UntilImovedtoacitycalledCaracas.Ihadbeenbornthere,movingawaybeforemyfirstbirthday.It’sabeautifulcity!Majestic!30Calmostallyearinthemiddleofahugevalley.Infrontofmyhousewasthemountain,namedbytheIndiansbeforeChristopherColumbusarrivedGuarairaRepano.ItsnamereflectsthefactthatitislikeagiantwavebetweenCaracasandtheCaribbean.Peoplelovetoclimbthis2,200-metermountain,soonedayIaskedmymothertotakemethereandpickmeupagainfourhourslater(that’sthetimepeopleusuallyneedtoclimbit).Iarrived,lookedatthismassivewaveofgrassandtreesandheardthewindblow.Istartedontheroute,walkingalongthepathofazig-zaggingsandyroad.

©Copyright2020 Dr.Juan Antonio Perez 77

Then,Idiscoveredthatafterwalkingfor45minutes,Ilookedupandstartedtofeelasensationofhopelessnessbuilding.Theairgetsthinner,yourthighsandcalvesbegintoburn,andyourealizethewindhasstopped.Youaredrenchedinsweat.Yourbodyandyourmindaresendingyouamessage:STOP!YOUCANNOTGOON!

Forthefirsttimeinmylife,Ifeltsomanybadfeelingsatthesametime;sadness,fear,loneliness.So,yougoback,andonthewayyourmindisacompletenightmareofcatastrophicscenarios,eachoneworsethanthelast.WhenIcamedown,theoldwomanwhosoldwateratthefootofthemountaingazedatmeand-believemewhenyoureadthis-sheknewIhadfailed!Iaskedherforthreebottlesofwater,andwhenshegavethemtome,itseemedshewasreadingmymind.“Whyareyoumadatthemountain?”shesaid.

- Isaid:“Thisf***ingmountainbeatmeup.”- Shesaid:“Themountaindidnothing;shehasnotchangedsincethe

beginningoftime.Whenyoudecidetoreturn,shewillbethesame,Idon’tknowifyouwillbe.”

Atthatmoment,thosewordsdidn’tmakemuchsense;Iwastrappedinsidemymind,theonlythingIcouldthinkofwashowbadthatmountainmademefeel.Ifeltmiserable,re-livingthepointatwhichIrealizedIwashelpless,lonelyandbeatenbyagiantstillwave…Astillwave?ASTILLWAVE?Waitaminute,let’sbackuptothewordstheoldladysaid:“Whenyoudecidetoreturn,shewillbethesame,Idon’tknowifyouwillbe.”

Wowwwww,that’swhenithitmelikeyourgrandmother’sslapwhenyouuseacurseword!Isaid,waitaminute,itistruethemountainwillnotchange,soIhaveto!

Youdon’talwayshavethecompetencetocompleteanewtask.Maybeyouhavetheconfidencetostartthough,andbybuildingtheskillsrequiredforthistask,yourconfidenceandcompetencebegintoblossom.Asthishappens,youbegintofeelempoweredandreadyforthechallenge.

So,youaskyourself-whatdoIneedtodosothatIcanclimbthismountain?Iwenttospeaktosomepeopleinmybuildingwhoregularlyclimbedtothetop,andtheyexplainedtheirstrategiestome.Ididn’tstoptherethough,becausethatwouldhavebeenliketakingaparachute

©Copyright2020 Dr.Juan Antonio Perez78

classonline.Instead,rememberedateacherwho,afterexplainingsomething,alwayssetanexercisetoensureyoulearneditforreal.

So,Ibegantoexercisemore,eatdifferently,sleepmoreandgotothemountainthreetimesaweek.Andsuddenlyithappened!IreachedtheTOP.Theviewwasincredible,thepeaceandthesensationofaccomplishingthisgoalwassomagnificentthatIstillgetgoosebumps.WhenIcamedown,theoldladyknewfromthelookonmyfacethatIhaddoneit!Iboughtmorewater,andshetoldme:

- “Doyourememberhowyoufeltthefirsttimebecauseofthemountain?”

- Isaid:“Yes!”- Shethensaid:“Doyounowunderstandthatthe

mountainisstillthesame?”- Me:“Yes,themountainisandwillbethesame,yetIgrewintothe

personwhowasabletoreachthetop.”

Duringthecourseofyourlife,youwillencounterdifferentkindsofmountains;theywillbehidingunderaboss,say,orhealthissues,economicproblems,yourkids,yourpartner,almostanything.

Ibetyoucandothissimpleandpowerfulexercise,whichwillallowyoutoalwaysjumpwithaparachute:

1. Thinkofasituationthatmakesyoufeelbadoruncertain

2. Nowrememberthenameofthefirstpersonyoukissedonthelips…

3. Closeyoureyesandtakeadeeeeeeepbreaththroughyournoseandgentlyletitoutthroughyourmouth.Imagineyouareatahugecinema,inthebackrow.Smileandrememberthesituationthatmadeyoufeelbadoruncertain.Sinceit’samovie,travelthreemonthsafterithasendedand,lookingatyourself,askthis:“WhatdidIlearnfromthis?”

4. Repeatthisthreetimes,takingallthetimeintheworlduntilyoufeelwonderfulabouttheansweryouhaveandtrulyunderstandit.

5. RememberthemovieBacktotheFuture?Ifyoudon’t,goandseeit,enjoyit,andthencomeback…

6. Nowimagineyouhavetheopportunitytogotothepast,beforeabadsituationhappenedtoyou!It’slikegoingbackandtalkingtoayoungerversionofyourself,showingyoutheskillsyoulackedsoyoucannowovercomethatobstacle.Nowyouhavethe

©Copyright2020 Dr.Juan Antonio Perez 79

opportunity,becauseyournervoussystemdoesn’tknowthedifferencebetweenthepastofthefuturewhenyouvisualize.So,thinkofthreeskillsthatyouneedtolearnaboutthesituationyouthoughtofatnumber1.

7. Nowcloseyoureyes(afterreadingtheinstructionbelow!),takeadeepbreathandgobackintime,onedaybeforethissituation;seeyourselfinthemovie,noticethatitispaused,andputinsideyourmindthethreeskillsthatyouwillneedtoencounterthesituationasyouwouldwish.Feelthethreeskillsandpushtheplaybutton!Seeyourselfinthissituation,hearyourselfwiththesethreeskills,noticeyourbodyposture,thetoneofyourvoice,andsmileasyouenjoywhatyouexperience.

8. Repeatnumber7threetimes-andenjoyyourself

Duringyourlife,youwillfaceobstacles.Ifyourememberareallydifficultgoalthatyouaccomplished,youknowyoufacedchallenges,yetyouovercamethem.Thinkaboutothergoalsthatyousetforyourselfandabandoned,forwhateverreason.Youalsoencounteredobstaclesthen,sowhatwasthedifference?

Whenyouabandonedthosegoals,youmadethoseobstaclesintoexcuses.

Yetallthegoalsthatyouhaveaccomplishedalsohadobstacles–ormountains-andyoulearnedwhatyouneededtolearn,andyouCLIMBEDTHEM!

Dr.JuanAntonioPerezwww.vivirpnl.com

©Copyright2020 June O’Driscoll 80

16 LAUGHING IN THE FACE OF ANXIETY EasywaystochangeunwantedfeelingsJuneO’Driscoll,UnitedKingdom

Whenweexperienceachangeinthewaywenormallyliveourlives,forsomethismaycauseanxietyorstress.Otherscarryonregardless,adaptingtothenew,ever-changingworld.Neitherbehavioriswrong,itillustratesthatashumanbeingsweareunique.

So,whatisanxiety?Itisafeelingofunease,suchasaworryorafear,thatcanbemildorsevere.Themainpointhereisthatitisafeeling,whichmeansitcanbechanged.Weallexperiencemanyothertypesoffeeling,suchas:

• Hesitation• Determination• Curiosity• Excitement• Fun• Laughter

Therefore,aneasysolutionistoexchangetheoldnegativefeelingof‘anxiety’tooneofourmoreuseful,positivefeelings.

Wearegoingtolookatafewsmallchangesyoucanmakewhichchangeyourperceptioninorderforyoutofeeldifferently.Thiswillnotonlybeusefulnow,itwillalsobeusefulwhenwegobacktoournewnormalwayoflife.Thinkingfurthertothefuture,theseusefulstrategiescanbeusedwithfamilymembers,inbusiness,inschoolsorwithanyonewhowantstofeelinabetterstate.


Foranumberofyears,I'veworkedasavolunteerforacharitableorganizationcalledAnxietyUK.Anunfortunatename,butawell-meaningcharity.Ihaveseenmanyclientsfromallwalksoflifewithfeelingsofanxietyandstress.Afteroursessions,thosesameclientsleavewithasmileontheirfaceandanewwayofthinking.Theoldprogramstheyusedtorunhavebeenchangedandtheynowthinkdifferently.

Ayoungladycametoseemeandtoldmeshehad‘anxiety’.Asshesaidtheword‘anxiety’shestartedtobreathedifferently,sweatandrubherhandstogethernervously.Theactualword‘anxiety’hadtriggeredoffallthesesymptoms.Wehadn'tevengottothepointoffindingoutwhatspecificallyshewasanxiousabout.

So,Iaskedhertothinkofthefunniestwordthatsheknew,onethatwouldmakeherlaugh.Shethoughtforawhile,andthenshesaid‘discombobulated’andasshesaidtheword,shestartedlaughing.Itoldherfromnowontheword‘anxiety’,oranyformoftheword,nolongerexistedinhervocabulary.Thenewwordwasnow‘discombobulated’,anditwastobeusedalsowhentalkingaboutanypastevents.Shelaughedagain.Toheightenherlaughingstate,Ikeptaskingherquestionslike:

“Whenwasthelasttimeyoudiscombobulated?”

“Whatwasyourbiggestdiscombobulation?”

“Howoftendoyoudiscombobulate?”

Witheveryanswer,theyoungladykeptlaughingandgiggling,herbodylanguagegotmorerelaxedandshestartedswingingherfeet.Eachtimeshelaughed,Ilightlytouchedheronthearmtoanchorthegoodfeeling.ThiswassothatIcouldbringbackthegoodfeeling(firetheanchor),atanytimetogetherbacktothatgoodfeeling.Shewasnowinthepleasantstateof‘discombobulation’,whichwasmuchbetterthantheoldstateofanxiousness.

Thiswasthestartofoursessionandagreatplacetostart.Shethentoldmethatshefelt‘discombobulated’whenthinkingaboutgettingonatrain.Irepeatedbacktoherinahumorousvoice,“soyoufeltdiscombobulatedwhenthinkingaboutgettingonatrain?”Asshestartedtolaughagain,Ilightlytouchedherarmtobringbackthegoodfeelings(firedtheanchor).Iaskedhertonoticewhichwaythefeelings


werespinningwhentheyweregettingbetter.Thentospinthosefeelingsevenfastertoheightenthegoodfeelingsallthroughherbody.WhenIthenaskedhertotrytothinkaboutgettingonatrainagain,Ilightlytouchedherarm(firedtheanchor).Shepaused,thenlaughedasshewasnowunabletobringbacktheoldwayofthinking.Thethoughtpatternhadbeeninterruptedandtheold‘discombobulated’feelingshadbeenexchangedwithnewfeelingsoflaughter.

Shethentoldmethatshehadmanyothernegativethoughtsthatcouldtrigger‘discombobulation’.Iaskedherwhatwouldhappeniftheycouldn’t?Shethoughtforawhileandsaidthatwouldbegood.Igaveherapieceofpaperandaskedhertodrawalinedownthecenter.Iaskedhertotitletheleft-handcolumn‘negativethoughts’andtheright-handcolumn‘positivethoughts’.Ithenaskedhertowritedownanegativethoughtontheleftcolumn,reframethemeaningtothreepositivethoughtsandwritethemintheright-handcolumn,likethis:

NegativethoughtsPeoplealwayslookatme

PositivethoughtsTheymightthinkIlookfriendlyIt’snicetobenoticedTheymaybestaringintospace

Shehadnowstartedtoreframehernegativethoughts.Shenowhadthetoolstocontinuetogeneratepositivethoughtsandtomakegoodfeelings.

So,nowovertoyou,herearetwoeasyexercisesyoucandotochangethewayyouthink,whichwillchangethewayyoufeel…

Exercise 1 – Change the Word

1. Thinkofawordthatmakesyoulaugh[theclient’swordwas‘discombobulated’]

2. Deletetheword‘anxiety’fromyourvocabularyandreplaceitwithyournewword.

3. Nowanswerthefollowingquestionsoutloudandonlyuseyournewwordtoanswer.Eachtimeyouanswerthequestionandlaugh,pressyourmiddlefingerandthumbtogetherlightly[thiswillanchorthegoodfeelings]:


o Whenwasthelasttimeyouwere[‘discombobulated’]?o Whatwasthefirstthingyounoticedwhenyouwere

[‘discombobulating’]?o Whatwereyousayingtoyourselfwhenyouwere[‘discombobulating’]?o Does[‘discombobulating’]giveyouatasteinyourmouth?o Whatdoyousmellwhenyouare[‘discombobulating’]?o Whendidyouhaveyourbiggest[‘discombobulation’]?

4. Asyouaregettingthesegoodfeelings,noticewhichwaytheyaremoving–clockwise/anticlockwiseorforward/backwards.

5. Whicheverwaythefeelingsaremovingwhichmakesitevenbetter,spinthefeelingsallthroughyourbodyandpressyourmiddlefingerandthumbtogetherlightly.Thiswillheightenthegoodfeelingsevenmore.

6. Nowreleaseyourmiddlefingerandthumbandstopspeakingoutloud.7. Thinkaboutsomethingentirelydifferent,likeapinkelephantwitha

bluetutu!8. Nowtestthegoodfeelingsbypressingyourmiddlefingerandthumb

togetheragain.9. Youcangothroughthisexerciseandanchorgoodfeelingsonthethumb

andfingerasmanytimesasyouwant.

Congratulations,youhavestartedtheprocessofchangingyourself!Letyourfamilyandfriendsknowaboutyournewword.Whenyourlovedonesalsousethenewword,itspreadsthefun!

Exercise 2 – Reframe Negative Words

Changingthemeaningofthethoughtfromnegativetopositivechangesthewayyoufeelforthebetter.

NegativethoughtsPeoplearelaughingatme

PositivethoughtsTheymaybelaughingwiththeirfriendsTheymaynotevenseemeIt’snicethatImakepeoplehappy


NegativethoughtsI’vebeenlaidoffworkfortwomonths

PositivethoughtsIcanstartanewhobbyI’llbeabletoseemoreofmyfamilyIcandomoregardening,whichIenjoy

1. Getapieceofpaperoranotepadanddrawalinedownthecentersothatyouhavetwocolumns.

2. Headtheleftcolumn‘Negativethoughts’andtherightcolumn‘Positivethoughts’

3. Writedownanegativethoughtyouhaveintheleftcolumn.4. Writedownanothermeaningforthatthoughtthatispositive.5. Dothisthreetimes.6. Readthenegativethoughtoutloudinafunnyvoice(e.g.,MickeyMouse)

7. Readthepositivethoughtsoutinaconfidentvoice(e.g.,yourfavoritesuperhero)

8. Repeatsteps3-6withanynegativethoughts9. Themoreyoupracticethis,theeasieritwillbeforyoutogeneratepositivethoughts.

Asmentionedearlier,thesestrategiescanalsobeusedwith:

Schools Examnerves,presentationskills,motivation

Business Attendinginterviews,motivatingstaff,returningtowork

Family Relatebetterassiblings,parents,step-parentsetc.

Iwonderwhereelseyouwillusethestrategies?Havesomefunwiththem!

JuneO’DriscollLicensedMasterTrainerofNLPThoughtitudewww.thoughtitude.co.ukUnitedKingdom

©Copyright2020 Kalliope Barlis 85

17 COVID-19: PASS THE PANDEMIC INTO THE PAST BEHIND YOU NOW

KalliopeBarlis,USA

Thereisnotimelikethistimeinthehistoryofhumankind.Andnobettertimethannowtostartplanningforyourfuture.

Thetruthis,youcanplaywithtimeinsideyourmind.Youcanorganizetimewheneverandhoweveryouwant,givingyoumorecontrolofhowyoufeelemotionally,becauseduringthispresentmoment,thefuturemovesintothepastateverymomentnow.Youcanmoveanythingintothepastbehindyou,toopenyourfutureandseewhatyouwanttohavehappeninstead.

Sometimeago,Iansweredaphonecall,andmyfriendopenedtheconversationbysaying,“Mymotherdied”.Suddenly,Ispiraledintodeepsadnessforthelossofafriend’slife,knowinghowmuchI’dmissher.ButwhenIasked,“When?”myfriendresponded,“Threemonthsago”.Andjustasquicklyasthesadnesshadsettledin,itwasinstantlythrustouttobereplacedbyrelieffortheendofhersuffering-andmine,too.

Becausemyfriendhadsaid,“threemonthsago”,mybrainautomaticallyplacedtheeventandallthefeelingsconnectedtoitinthepast.Mythoughts,mymemoryofhismother,wentfromfeelingbadtofeelingbetter.Threemonthshadgonebyintheinstanthesaid,“threemonthsago”.ItwasthenIfullyunderstoodhowthefuturemovesintothepresentmomentandthepresentmomentmovesintothepast,constantly.

©Copyright2020 Kalliope Barlis86

Withthis‘Aha’moment,Irealizedthatyoucanmaketimepassintothepastjustbystrategicallythinkingabouttimemethodically.Inoneskillset,there’sawaytochangehowyoufeelinthepresentmomentaboutwhatyouthinkmayhappeninthefuture,eventhoughithasn’thappened.Thisiscalled‘worry’.It’sallaboutchangingyourperceptionofeventsintimetofeelbetternow.

Weareallinthemidstofthisglobalpandemic,butyoudonothavetotakeitonandjustdowhatyouneedtodo.Instead,youcanfeelbettersothatyoucanbemoreproductiveandthinkmoresuccessfully,becausethereisnobettertimethannowtoplanforyourfuture-withallthetimeyouhave.

Let’stakeamomenttothinkstrategicallyabouttimetofeelbetter:

1. Gobacktoapastmomentjustbeforeachallengingeventwhereyoufeltcalmand/orfocusedand/orclear.

2. Whilefeelingcalmand/orfocusedand/orclear,lookatthechallengingevent.Howdoyoufeelwhilelookingatthechallengingeventnow?[peopleoftenrespondtothisquestionbysayingtheyfeelthesamecalm,focusandclaritywhentheyfaceitwiththesefeelings].

3. Now,gotomomentsafterthispandemicisoverandlifereturnstonormal,whereyoumaintainthiscalmand/orfocusedand/orclearfeeling.Howdoyoufeelwhilefacingtheeventafterit’sallover?

4. Bringyourattentiontothepresentmomentnow,feelcalmand/orfocusedand/orclearaboutplanningforyourfuture.

AlthoughthisskillisofferedforcontrollinghowyoufeelduringtheCovid-19pandemic,itistimelessandcanbeusedforanychallengingevent.

Everyoneintheworldisexperiencingtheeffectsofthepandemic.HereinNewYorkCity,peoplearewaitingonlonglinestobuyfood,soap,masksandbleach,andstoresaresoldoutoftoiletpaper.Yes,peopleallaroundtheworldaremakingsuretheirassesareclean,asifthat’swherethevirusenters—someoneforgottotellthemitcomesinthroughtheotherend!Theworldwassoldoutoftoiletpaperbeforemasks!

©Copyright2020 Kalliope Barlis 87

Atsomepointintime,youknowthisisgoingtobeover.We’llbeabletolookbackatthistimeandsay:“Rememberwhenweusedtojokethatsomepeopleshouldbecagedbecausetheyweren’tkeepingtheirdistancefromotherstopreventthevirusfromspreading?”“Rememberwhenwecouldn’tholdhandsorkiss?”“Rememberwhenwecouldn’tcleanourassesbecausesomeonetookthetoiletpaper?!”

Nowisthetimetocleanupyourmindandstartplanningforthefuture,becausethisislikenoothertimeinhistory-tovalueyourlifemorethanever.Thereareopportunitieseverywhere,showingupinnewanddifferentwayscomparedtothetimebeforethisbegan.

Thistooshallpassintothepast.Thinksmart.Feelbetterandplanforyourfuturesoyou’rereadyforitwhenitcomes,now.

KalliopeLicensedMasterTrainerofNLP®InternationalBest-sellingAuthorofPhobiaReliefandPlayGolfBetterSeriesNLP.NYC—BuildingYourBestTrainingInternationalwww.NLP.nycwww.Kalliope.nycInstagram:#Kalliope.nycYouTube&Twitter:KalliopeNYC

CopyrightKalliopeBarlis

©Copyright2020 Kay Cooke88

18 THREE FOR THRIVE

KayCooke,UnitedKingdom

Intheseturbulenttimes,it’svitalthatweallrememberthatweareinchargeofcreating,drivingandmaintainingourmindsandbodies.So,let’stakecareofourneu rologicalwellbeingwitharenewedsenseofimportanceandsomesimpleskillsthatboostourabilitytoThrive-onpurpose,withpurposeandforapurpose!

Newandnovel!Whenthebrainwantstostayin(predictable)statesofstress,abio-hackisrequiredtoboostwellbeing.SometimesyouhavetoBREAKTHROUGHstressandteachyourbrainnewpatternsforThrive.Youcaninfluenceyourbody-mind–here’show…

We’regoingtoexplorefunwaystoboostTHREEneurochemicalsthatareessentialforwellbeing:Endorphins,Oxytocin,Serotonin.

©Copyright2020 Kay Cooke 89

Thrive Tip #1

BoostyournaturalstateofwellbeingwithafocusonEndorphins.

Endorphinsarechemicalsproducedbythebodytorelievestressandpain.Theyworksimilarlytoaclassofdrugscalledopioids,whichrelievepainandcanproduceafeelingofeuphoria.Endorphinsareoftenreferredtoas‘nature’shigh’.Ifyouareanathlete,youmayhaveexperiencedwhatisknownasthe‘runners’high’.Importantly,endorphinshelpyoufeelgood,andweallneedsomeofthatrightnow!Promoteyourbrain’spharmaceuticalcapabilitiesthroughwalking,dancing,exerciseandlaughter.

Musicmakesmoods!Enhancetheenvironmentalinfluenceinyourhomebychoosingbackgroundmusicthatsoothesorstimulates.Youchoose!

Getcreative!1. Foottaporwalkindanceormusicalrhythm.2. Walkupanddownthestairstodifferentgenresofmusic(takecare

andholdthehandrailwiththefast-pacedbeats!).3. Takeawalk(orrun)usingdifferentfootpatterns,forexample,the

Fibonaccisequence(1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34).

Whetheryouhavechildrenathomeornot,checkoutthemind-expandinglearningopportunitiesoffoottappingorwalkingtotheFibonaccibeat;estimatetheanglesoffootprintpatternsandexplorethelowerbodybiomechanicsofchangingfootprintangles.AndgoogletheimagesofFibonacci’samazingnaturalpowerandbeauty.

Laughterisagifttoothers!1. Takeadailydoseofaudio-visual(e.g.,amovieorTVseries)that

leavesyoulaughing.Orlistentohumorouspodcastsduringlunch.2. Findanddustoffthatoldjokebookanddiveintoshare

somehumor.


3. Deliberatelymismatch/mis-wearyourclothes,especiallyforthoseZoomteammeetings!

Thrive Tip #2

BoostyournaturalstateofwellbeingwithafocusontheneuropeptidecalledOxytocin.

Oxytocinisoftenreferredtoasthe‘hughormone’thatisinabundancefromthemomentwe’reborn,whenmothersandnewbornbabiesarefloodedwiththis‘trust’and‘safety’feelingthatoxytocinprovides(natureisverysmart).

UntilCovid-19lockdown,abio-hackforboostingoxytocinwouldhaveincludedskintouche.g.,handholding,hugs,massage,butrightnow,there’slittlechanceofthistypeofintimacy.

Actually,theplanetisinadesperatehug-deficitrightnow.We’reunderstrictinstructionstoavoidphysicalcontactwithallotherhumans.Thesearetimesofseparation,evenwithinfamilyhomeswe’reallkeepingourdistance.

So,whatcanwedotoboostthisneurochemicalthatissoessentialforsocialbonding,helpingustofeelconnected,trustingandsafe?

Whole-bodylisteningWhetheryou’retalkingtosomeonefacetoface,overthegardenfenceorthroughsocialmedia,givingyourfull,undividedattentionisagiftforbothparties.Thisboostsamind-bodysensationwhereyoufeelapowerfulenergeticplug-intootherhumans.YouneedtotuneupALLyoursensesto

bepresentwithandfortheotherperson,withyourownwholebeing.Itmaytakeabitofpracticetoletgoofthoughtsthattrytoconvinceyouthatyourinsideworldismorevalidthanwhat’soccurringontheoutside,buttryit.Andfeelthedifference.Whateveryoupracticeyougetgoodat!


ComefindmeCheckouttheworkofneuroscientistJillBolteTaylorwho,uponregainingconsciousnessafterastroke,observedthatthewords,actionsandbehaviorsofthosearoundherappearedsomewhatsuperficial.Everyonewasfunctional,butdetached.Shedescribesfeelingtrappedinsidehermindandwantedtoplead:‘I’minhere,comefindme…’Youcandothatforsomeone(gofindthem…)bytakingoffyourcriticallens,youranalyticalthoughtsandjudgementsandsimplybeingpresentwiththewonderfulspecimenofahumanbeingwhoisstayingaliverightinfrontofyou.

One-waytoThriveWhenyougivesomethingunconditionally,withoutanyneedforaresponse,youboostoxytocin.Callitlove.Itwon’tworkifyouneedaresponseofanykindfromtheotherperson.Thegiftcanbe:

• Physicale.g.,abloomfromthegarden,aspecialmeal,aheartfeltgesture.

• Verbale.g.,acompliment,agiggle,asmile.• Practicale.g.,householdchores,runningafragrantbath

forsomeone.

Boostyourneurochemistryofconnectiontoandwithotherswhenyoudothingswithouttheneedforrecognition.Makecooperationandgivingyournewbestfriend!

PettingallowedPettingpetsisawonderfulwaytohelpyourmind-bodyrelaxintocalmness.Yourrelationshipwithyourpetisagoodbarometerofyourownstressaswellasprovidingyouwitharesetopportunity.Petsmirrorourmoodsandpettingthemsoothesstresslevelsinbothpartiesbyloweringcortisolandbloodpressurewhileboostingoxytocin.

Getcreative!1. Drawanddisplayacolorfulposterthatsaysthankyoutoessential

front-lineworkersduringthispandemic;includethebinmenanddeliveryguys.

2. Makeanddisplayamontage(orPowerPoint)ofphotosthatbringbackhappymemoriesoftimessharedwithlovedones.Celebratethesefeelings.


3. Useyourphonetosendshortvideooraudioclipstopeopleyoumissbecauseyou’redistancedatthemoment.Letthemknow-unexpectedly-they’reinyourmindandheart.

4. Makelavendercookiesandpotpourrioratomizelavenderessentialoilbecausephytochemicalsinlavenderinhibitstress.

Heartsforart’ssake1. Draw,paintorcolorheartshapesonstones,onpaper,on

anything!Youaresettingyoursub-consciousmindtorememberfeelinglove.Kidsdothisnaturally–whendidyoustop?!

2. Visualizeyourheartasahomeforyourlovedoneswhereyoukeepthemcozy,warmandwrappedupinyourlove.

3. Makeupagamewithyourkidswhereyourolladiceanddescribethesensationsoffeelingloveinthatnumberofwords.Forexample,rollingthenumber3wouldleadtodescribingsomesensationsofloveinthreewords,suchaswarm,rising,pink.

4. Drawabodyoutlineandcolorthebodypartswherethesensationsoflovearefeltandhowtheymovearound.

ThriveTip#3

BoostyournaturalstateofwellbeingwithafocusonSerotonin,whichisoftenreferredtoasthe‘happinessmolecule’.

Serotoninisessentialforself-esteemandfeelingcalm;itisalsoamoodstabilizerthathelpsusfeelincontrolofself-regulatingmood.Doyouknowthat90%ofthebody’sserotoninisstoredinthegut?Takingcareofyourguthealthisanimportantpartoffeelinggood.


Simplewaystoboostserotoninincluderelaxation,deepbreathing,meditation,exerciseanddiet(tryptophan-richfoods)andcacao(orchocolatewith85%+cacao).

LockdownlightenupAsyoureyesperceivelightitboostsmoodasserotoninlevelsnaturallyrise;whenyougettotuneinandtuneup,onpurpose,yougettoenhancethiscircuitry.Weknowthebenefitstowellbeingofbeingimmersedinnature;nowtakeyourattentiontolookingatsunlightreflectionsbouncingfromrivers,lakes,theocean,waxyleavesorotherreflective

surfaces.Can’tgetoutside?Takeaglassofwaterandplaceitnearawindoworanyreflectivesurface(manypeoplesuspend‘lightcatchers’intheirwindowsandwatchthemesmerizing‘fairies’danceacrosstheroom).Pleasebecarefulandwiseaboutplacinganythingthatmagnifiesthesun’spowerasasourceoffirestarting!Thisisanactivityforyoutodo,withclearintentionandpreciseattention.

FireupMovementfiresupserotoninneurons.Anymovement-itdoesn’thavetobeclassedasexercise.Routinehouseworkchoresmovethesesignalsthroughyourbodyandnovelchores,e.g.,clearingoutacupboard,willboostdopaminerewardcircuitstoo.

YoulittlestarIimagineserotoninasatrilliongoldenstars,bottledandreadyforzoomingaroundthebody.Visualizethisifyouwill-atrilliongoldenstarsfillingyourwholebeing.Eachandeverycellandfiberofyourwholeanatomyglistening,shimmeringandshiningwithgoldenstars.

StarbreatheAsyourmind’seyeallowsyoutoimagineyourselffilledwiththisgoldendelight,allowasingledeepbreath(sodeepitfeelslikeyourbellyisexpanding)tosuckinALLthegoldenstarsfromthroughoutyourwholebeing.Holdtheminthatspacejustbelowyourdiaphragmandlistenforthemsingingindelightastheyaremomentarilyreunited.Thenwithaslowandfulloutbreath,returnthestarstowheretheywerestationed.Repeatthisbreathingexerciseuntilitbecomes


effortlessandyoufeelthesensationsofchange.Whenyoucandothis,youarereadytozingoutthestarsbeyondyourphysicalbodyintothespacearoundyou.Whatatreatforyouandforthosearoundyou!

SuperstarsHavethefamilyformacirclearoundoneperson.ThatpersoniscalledtheSuperStar.OnceSuperStarisreadytowhooshouttheirstarbreathintothespacearoundthem(usingalongsustainedout-breath),theothersclosetheireyes,opentheirhandsandwaituntiltheyfeelthetinglingsensationthatletsthemknowthey’vereceivedthe‘sharedstars’.Kidsloveto‘feel’thereachoftheirsiblings’starbreath.

KidsgetcreativeIfyourkidsarestuckindoors,whynotmakeanindoorgarden?Allyouneedis:• Alargeplatetocontainthe‘garden’• Asmallmirrorortinfoiltorepresentreflectionsfromwater• Somesoil,stonesorsandtorepresenttheterrain(oruse

somethingoutofdatefromthepantry,likelentils,coffeeetc.)• Eitherrealplantcuttings,orartificialvegetation-PlayDoh,

plasticine,cardboard,pipecleanersarestartingpoints,butyouareonlylimitedbyyourimagination!

PS.Measuringtheshadowandlightwouldbeacoolmath/physicsexperiment.


Forart’ssakeDraw,paintorcolorgoldensunshinepatternsonstones,onpaper,onanything!Youaresettingyoursub-consciousmindtorememberthepowerofthesun.Nowondertheancientsworshippedit!

PS…

• FACT!Yourbodyandmindisoneprettyamazingsystemthatcommunicateswithinitselfandalsowiththeoutsideworld.

• FACT!Sensoryexperiencestimulateselectro-chemicalsignalsthatcascadethroughoutyournervoussystem.

• FACT!YourbodyandmindinStressisdepletedandrevertstoknown(safe)patternsoffamiliarity.

• FACT!YourbodyandmindinTHRIVEisfilledwithamazingcapabilitiesandpotentials.

DotakecareofyourneurologicalwellbeingwitharenewedsenseofimportanceandpracticethesesimpleskillstoboostyourThriveDrives,onpurpose,withpurposeandforapurpose!MakeyourpurposetoThrive!

KayCookeCoach,Trainer&Authorwww.the-me-group.com

©Copyright2020 Manuela Hjelseth96

19 HOW TO STAY PRODUCTIVE AND ACCOUNTABLE EasyexercisestomanageandkeepyourselfactivementallyandreadyforchangeManuelaHjelseth,Norway

Inthisbooktherearemanyusefulexercisesshowingyouhowyoucanmanageyourstate,changenegativethoughtsandreleaseanxiety.Whenyouareinagoodstate,youcanmoreeasilytakeactionandmaintainactivityinareasofyourlifethatareimportant.

Forexample,maybeyouarethinkingaboutyourjobsituationrightnow.

Asanemployee,perhapsyoufeelthatyouhavenocontroloveryoursituation;andtosomedegree,you

don’t.Noonecancontrolnaturaldisastersthataffecttheeconomy,diseasesthatarespreadingworldwide,orfinancialcrisesduetobadmanagementbyworldleaders.STOPfocusingonwhatyoucannotcontrolandCHOOSEtofocusonwhatyouCANDO.

Thinkaboutthreeyearsfromnow;whenyoulookbackatthismomentinyourlife,youwanttobehappywiththedecisionsyoumadenow.Youwanttofeelproudthatyoutookchargeofyouractionstobuildmomentumand,ultimately,results.

©Copyright2020 Manuela Hjelseth 97

Implementsomeeasyspecifictasksinthischapterandyouwillbeableto:

- Beclearaboutwhatyourcontributionsreallyaretoateam(andcompany)

- Beabletocommunicatethevalueyouareaddingtoateam(andcompany)

- Highlightthespecificabilitiesyoubringtoateam- Communicateyourspecificstrengthsthatareofvalueinyourjob

Thisstrategysetsthedirectionofyourthoughtsandfeelings;inturnsupportingyourproductivebehavior.ToquoteDr.RichardBandler:“Whenyouchangethewayyouthink,itchangesthewayyoufeelandthereforeitchangeswhatyoucando.”

Bykeepingyourselfaccountableandproductiverightnow,inascenariowhereyoumightneedtoapplyforajobagain,youwon’tbeunprepared,unclearofyourvalueorcompetence,uncertainofwhattosayorfeelingstressedoutfrombeingcaughtoff-guard.Youcertainlydonotwanttobeperceivedassomeonewhoisuninterested,disengagedorwithoutinitiativebecauseyoudidn’tdoanythingwhileyouwereathome.

Thequestionsthatfollowcanbeusedinanycontextwhereyouwanttocommunicateyourvalueorrelevanceinapreciseway.Theymayworkwellforsomeonewhoislaidofftemporarily,aswellasforthosewhoareunemployed,inwhateverroleorsector.

Forthepastyear,Ihavegiventhesequestionstomorethan350job-seekers.Irememberonepersoninparticularwho,whenImether,wasfeelingpowerless,stressedout,unsureofhervalue,worriedaboutherfinancialsituationandwithnocleargoal.Hercommunicationwasvagueandherapproachtopotentialemployerssignaledlackofconfidence.Shefeltunabletoact,whichagainledhertodonothing,untilshestartedtoanswersomespecificquestionsthatmadehertakeactionandfinallygettheresultshewasaimingat.

Thesesimpleyetpowerfulquestionswillhelpyoutostayproductiveandcontrolyourownbehavior,makingsureyouarereadytodowhatYOUCANDONOW.


First, start by asking yourself empowering questions that lead to action

• Whatdoyoudowhilewaitingathome?Whatelsecanyoudo?• Whatcanyoudowiththeresourcesyouhaveavailablerightnow?• Whatareyougoingtodoassoonasyoucan?• Wheredoyoufocusandwheredoyounot?(Onwhatyoucan’t

controlandinfluence-oronwhatyoucan?)• Whatcanyouimprovewhilebeing“onhold”?(Howcanyou

improveyourcompetence?Whatonlinecoursescanyouattend?Whatnewskillscanyoulearn?)

• Howdoyouthinkaboutyoursituation?Couldtherebeotherperspectivestoyoursituationthatyouhaven’tdiscoveredyet?

• Whatskillsdoyouhavethataretransferableintootherindustries?Identifyandmakeaspecificlist.

• Whoinyournetworkcanprovideknowledgeorinformationabouttheskillswhichwillbeneededinyourindustryinfuture?Whenyouknowthis,whichonewillyoustartstudying/learningfirst,whichoneisthesecond,third…?

• Whichofyourstrengthsarevaluableinyourposition/company?Makealistofwhattheyare,howtheyarevaluableandinwhatwaytheycontributetotheendresults.

• Howareyoualreadyusingyourskillstosupportyourself?• Whatvaluedoyouaddtoyourteamandcompany?Bespecific.• Whereandwhatdoyoucontribute,specifically?• Whatabilities/competencedoyouhavethataddvaluetotheteam?• Whatmotivatesyouinyourjob?Whatmotivatesyoutoworkfora

particularcompany?(Whatistherelationshipbetweenyouandthecompanythatmotivatesyou?)

• Contactyourboss,askyourcolleagues,spouse,familyandfriends-inwhichareacanyouimprove?Beopentofeedback-theymaypointoutthingsyoudon’tlike!Ifthereisaconsistencyinthefeedback,changethewayyoucommunicateand/orbehavior.Remember,“thequalityofyourcommunicationisintheresponseyouget.”So,ifyoucommunicateand/orbehaveinawaythatisn’tproductive-dosomethingelse.Ifunsure,askpeoplearoundyouforsuggestions.

©Copyright2020 Manuela Hjelseth 99

• Ifyourcompanyhastochoosebetweenkeepingyouoracolleague,whyshouldtheykeepyou(ratherthantheotherperson)?Bespecificinyouanswer.

Writedowntheanswersasyougodownthelist.Bespecific.Ifyouranswertothelastquestionwas,“becauseIhavemoreseniority”,itistoovagueand,frankly,ofnoimportance.Senioritydoesn’talwaysequalcompetence(evenifweliketobelieveitdoes).IinviteyoutoreallyreflectonWHYthecompanyshouldchoosetokeepyou.Writedownyouruniquecontributions,specifically.

Example:“Iamcuriousandapeopleperson,whichmeansthatIkeepmyselfuptodatewithinmyfieldandIcontributetoapositiveandhealthyworkingenvironmentbysharingmycompetencewithmycolleagues.”

“Iamgoal-oriented,whichmeansthatIfocusonthetarget;Iamsolution-orientedandproactive.”

“Ihave10yearsofexperiencewithinprogramminginmypresentcompany.ThisbringsvaluetoourcustomersbecauseIhaveabroadknowledgeofwhatworksandwhatdoesn’t,whichmakesprojectscost-effective.”

Onceyouaredone,writedownthreeareasinwhichyoucanstarttoimproveyourcommunicationskills.Definespecificelementsyouwanttolearnmoreabout.

Forexample:- Non-verbalcommunication(only7%ofyourcommunicationis

basedonwords)- Howtoaskopenandclosedquestions(what,how,which,when,

who,where,whomaresomeexamplesofopenquestionsandyes/noareclosedquestions)

- Practicevaryingyourvoice,rhythm,andpace,makingpausesandspeakingclearly

NowitistimetoupdateyourCV.Makesuretolistyourprofile/keyqualificationswithbothcompetenceandpersonalskillsandexperiencesfirst.Thenlistyouremploymenthistory,followedbyyoureducation,computerskillsandthelanguagesyouspeak.Therearesomegreattemplatesonline.ReviseyourLinkedInprofileifyouhave


one.Updateanydocumentthatisneeded–prepareyourself.Ifyouneedtoseekanotherjob,youareready!

Finally,weareallhumanbeings.Reachingouttocolleagues,customersandemployeesshowsthatyoucareaboutthem.Beproactiveinmaintainingyourrelationships;thiswillpayoffinthelongrunanditmakesyoufeelgoodinside.

Seeyourselfthreeyearsfromnow,lookingbacktothismoment.Whatdoyouwanttosee,hearandfeelaboutyourselfandyouractionsnow?Howdoyouwanttorememberwhatyoudonow,thatinthefuturewillmakeyouproud,knowingthatasyouareproductivenow,youwillbeinthefuturetoo?

Askingyourselfgoodquestionsisusefulinallareasandsituations.Athletes,teachers,parents,leaders,peopleinsalesandserviceprofessionsallaskquestionstomakesuretheykeepenhancingtheirperformance,thuskeepingthemselvesproductive.

Theonlyquestionnowis,whendoyoustarttakingaction–rightnowortomorrowmorning?ACTIONisthekeywordtoproductivity!

ManuelaHjelsethNLPTrainerandLeadershipTrainerTrainYourBrain.noNorway

©Copyright2020 Marco Valerio Ricci 101

20 HOW TO STOP UNCONSCIOUSLY HITTING YOUR EMOTIONAL BRAKES AND START LIVING YOUR DREAMS

MarcoValerioRicci,Italy

Inthesetimesoffearforourhealthandtheeconomy,wehaveanunprecedentedopportunity:tostoplivingothers’livesandstartbuildingandlivingourown.

Weneedtomakethischangeinourthinkingandapproachtolifebecauseofthesensationswhicharisefromalackofcontroloverourlives.

Manyofmyclientsaskmehowthisispossible,howcanIbesopositiveallthetime?Myansweris,actuallyI’mnotthatpositiveasaperson,that’swhyIhadtocreateaPositiveLifeStylesothatIcouldbecomeabletoconstantlyandconsistentlymanagemyownstate.

IntermsofLifeStyle,Imeanarealstyleoflifebasedontheunderstandingsthatcomefrom23yearsofstudyingNLP,18ofthemwithDr.RichardBandler.Thisstyleoflifeisfoundedoncongruenceandeffectivethinking.

Weareonapathofchangeinwhichwecanchoosethedirectionwewanttogo.ThisiswhyIfindithardtounderstandwhysomanypeoplearecomplaining.Beforelockdown,mostofthecomplaintswereaboutnotlivingthelifetheywanted,nothavingthetimetodowhattheywantedandsoon.Well,nowtheyhaveplentyofslowtime…yet

©Copyright2020 Marco Valerio Ricci102

theyarecomplainingbecausetheycan’tdowhattheyusedtodo,asifthatwasthelifetheywanted.Thisisanabsurdstrategy!

Health,wellbeingandwealthallaretheconsequencesofourabilitiestoeffectivelyrespondtointernalandexternalinputs.Theinternalonescomefromexperiences,beliefs,personalandcollectivehypnosis,culture,self-talk,habitsandsoon.Inotherwords,theyaretheendresultsofourinternalprocessesandrepresentations.

Theexternalonesareeasiertospot;theyaretheeventsandtheinputswereceivefromtheoutsideworld.Thenagain,alltheinputsthatcomefromtheoutsideareprocessedontheinside.So,Iwilloftentellaclient:“Focusontheinnerworld,becauseit’stherethatyoucanwinthegame!”

TohelpyoucreatepossibilitiesforaPositiveLifeStyleinyourownlife,I’vecreatedaprocessthatIusewhenImentorpeopleincreatingthepersontheywanttobecomethroughNLP.It’sarealNLPCoachingSessionthatyoucanfollownow,writingdowneachanswerasyougoalong.Thisprocessistheresultofworkingempiricallywiththousandsofpeoplefacetoface;helpingtoovercomeunconsciousobstaclesontheroadtowardslivingyourfulfillinglife.

Thepurposeoftheexerciseistohelpyoubetterdefineyourlifegoal.Todothis,Iwillguideyouthroughamentalpaththatwillmakeyouworkontheinformationthatisunconsciouslyembeddedinyourmind-bodysystem;thevalues,emotionsandbeliefsresultingfromancestralconditioningthatnoothersystemknowntodayallowsyoutoeradicate.

Icallthiskindthe"quantumpropulsiontarget".

Iaskyoutodefinethegoalyouwanttoworkoninadvance,andthen,whileansweringthequestions,focusonwhatyouhavesetyourself.

Youcanusethissessiontoreachyourgoalsineveryareaofyourlife:inSport,inBusiness,inRelationships.Foreachgoalorarea,completethespacefollowingthecolon:- Iam:- Imust:- Imustnot:- Idonotwant:

©Copyright2020 Marco Valerio Ricci 103

- Iwant:- Icannot:- Ican:- Onegoalis:- Havinggoalsmeans:- Iamavictimof:- Iamanexecutionerof:

Nowanswereachofthesequestionswithreferencetowhatyouwroteabove.Pleaseapplyquestion1toalltheanswersbeforemovingontothesecondanddothesamebeforestartingwiththethirdandsoon.

Questions

1. Whosaysthat?2. Isthistrue?3. WhatwouldIlikeinsteadofthis?4. WhatdoIhavetodotogenerateit?5. WhatamImissing?6. WhatresourcesdoIhave?

Nowenterastateofdeeprelaxationorself-hypnosis;askyourinnermentorstoplanthepathtopaveyourwaytowardsrealizingyouraim.

Bringwithyoutheresourcesandawarenessthathaveemergedduringtheexerciseandstartwiththerighttoolstoachieveyourgoal.

MarcoValerioRicciLicensedNLPMasterTrainer&CoachAccademiadeiCoachwww.AccademiaDeiCoach.com

©Copyright2020 Michel Wozniak104

21 GROW BY READINGUsingyourfreetimecleverlyandcreatively

MichelWozniak,Switzerland

WHY

Areyourshelvesfilledwithunreadbooksthatyoubought,thinking:“Thisbooklooksgreat,I’llbuyitandI’lldefinitelyreaditSOMETIME…”

Familiar,right?Howmanyyearsagodidyoubuythem?Oursocietyproducesmorewrittentextsthanatanyothertimeinhistory.Yetpollsshowthatpeoplereadlesseveryyear.Thereasonsgivenbypeopleare,amongothers:1.It’stoolongandinefficient,2.Idon’thavetime,3.Theprocessofreadingisunpleasant.

Well,apandemickillsargumentnumber2.Whatif,withtwosimpletricks,youcouldalsokillarguments1and3?

Booksareknowledge,andknowledgeisnecessaryforanykindofsuccess.Booksarealsoanamazingsourceofpleasureandoneofthebestnaturalde-stressors.

©Copyright2020 Michel Wozniak 105

WHEN/WHERE

OnceyouhavethetwolittletricksI’mabouttogiveyou,you’llnoticethatyoucanusethemwheneverandwhereveryouareexposedtoanythingtoread.Simpletricks-sonomoreexcuses!

WHO

Speedreadingtendstointereststudentswhoareoverwhelmedwithinformation,projectmanagersandbusinessowners.Butmoreandmoreemployeesseemtobeattractedbyreading,whichdenotesachangeinthinking,achangeinsociety.

HOW

Trick1:Rememberingwhatyoujustread

WhenIwasinprimaryschoolandIhadtoreadatext,veryoften,attheendofthetext,IwouldtellmyteacherthatIcouldn’trememberwhatIhadjustread.Hewouldtellme:“Soreaditagainmoreslowly,inordertoconcentratebetter.”

Ikeptapplyinghisadvice,eventhoughIfeltitbecamemorecounter-productiveeverytime.Then,agedabout35,IdecidedtoanalyzethestrategyusingthetoolsofNLP.Fourmonthslater,IwontheBronzemedalattheWorldSpeedReadingChampionshipsinSingapore!IguessitlookslikeNLPstrategiesactuallywork,evenfortheverybadreaderthatIwas.

Youdon’trememberstuffbecauseyourminddriftedawayintootherthoughts,right?Youreyesgothroughthetext,butyourmindiswanderingtoyournextholiday.

Doesyourminddriftawaywhenit’soverwhelmedbytheamountofinformation,orwhenit’sdeeplybored?You’reright,itwanderswhen

©Copyright2020 Michel Wozniak106

it’sdeeplybored.Youreadtooslow!Andit’sreallyannoyingforthebrainto…receive…information…too…slow…

Sotricknumber1isthis:Sincenotrememberingisoneofthebiggestreasonsgivenfornotreading,wheneveryouseethatyourmindiswanderingandisnotconcentrating,readagain,butalittlebitfaster.Ifforwhateverreasonyoufeeloverwhelmed,thenslowdownalittlebit.Letyourbrainandyourfeelingsbecomethe“cruisecontrol”ofyourreading.Yourbrainknowsbestthespeedtochoose.Ifyou’resick,you’llreadmuchslower.Ifyoujustlistenedtoarapidmusic,you’llveryprobablyreadfasterforawhile.

Trick2:Delegatethingsyou’renotgoodat

Thislookslikeabusinesstrick.Butit’snot(only).Experienceitforyourself.

Findapartner.Standfacetoface,at3ft.distance.

Firsttest:Askyourpartnertoimaginea2ft.widecircleinfrontofthem,rightbetweenthetwoofyou,andaskthemtooutlinethecirclewiththeireyes;sotheireyesdoacircularmove,veryslowly–takingatleast10secondstocompleteonecircle.Observetheireyes.Dotheyreallydrawaperfectcircle?Isthemovesmoothorisitjerky?You’llprobablynoticethatalthoughtheyfeeltheyaredoingaperfectcircle,themoveisactuallyjerky,andtheeyesdeviatealotfromthedesiredtrajectory.

Secondtest:Now,intheairwithyourfinger,drawa2ft.widecirclebetweenthetwoofyouandyouaskyourpartnertofollowyourfinger.Lookattheireyesfollowingyourfingerinthecircle.Moveslowly.Whatdoyousee?Yes,theireyemovementsarePERFECT!100%smooth,cleanandneat.

Whyisthis?Thehumanbrainisnotwiredtogenerateaneyemovement.It’swiredtofolloweitherprayorpredator.Yeah,we’restillgeneticallythere…That’swhychildrenautomaticallyusetheirfingerwhentheylearnreading.Andwhatdothecleveradultstellthem?“Don’tdothat,onlybabiesdothat!”Butit’sthesameforusasadults.WhenyougothroughacomplexExcelspreadsheet,youuseyourfingertomakesureyouareintherightplace.Imaginetheeffortrequiredbythebraintoafixacleanimagewheneyemovementsarecompletelyjerky.It’sliketryingtotakeaphotowhenyou’reshivering.It’svery

©Copyright2020 Michel Wozniak 107

hard.Andyourbrainneedstofixacleanimagefourtosixtimesperline!You’reexhaustingyourbrainjustwiththoseeyemovements.

Sotricknumber2:Delegatethemotiontoapartofyourbodythatwillmasterit-yourhand.Useyourfingeroraguide(apen,apencil,achopstick…)andgothrougheachlinewithyourguideinasmooth,linearmovement.Yourbrainwillbeabletofixtheimagewheneveritneedsbecausethere’snojerkiness.Haveyoureyesfollowtheguide.

Thistakesabitofatraining,becausewehavebeentaughttodoitdifferently.Doitconsistently,andyou’llstopthecommonawkwardfeelinginreadingthatisactuallyduetothediscomfortfeltbythebrainandtheeyeswhenyourequirethemtodosomethingtheyarenotwiredto.You’llreleasealargespanofbrainresourcefortheactualtaskofreading,aresourcethatwon’tbewastedanymoreintheun-usefultaskofmovingtheeyes.That’sastrategy,that’sNLP!Keepthemovementoftheguidesmoothandlinear!

WHAT/WHEN/WHERE ELSE

Youmaygeneralizethatideaofdelegatingwhatyou’renotgoodat.That’sclearlyaskillusefulforeachandeveryfieldofyourlife.Youcanapplythattosomanythingsotherthanreading.Theonlylimitisthesky!Bewiseandthinkonpurposeinsteadofjustrememberinghowyou’vebeentaughttodothingssinceyouwereachild.Besmartandreadmore!

MichelWozniakTrainerinEfficientMindStrategiesSwitzerland

©Copyright2020 Nathalie de Marcé 108

22 TRUST YOURSELF!ConnectingwithyourgreaterSelfNathaliedeMarcé,Mexico

Why

Withoutdoubt,theonlypersonwhowillbethereforyoufortherestofyourlifeisyou.Rightnow,youarefacedwithasituationwhereyouhavetospendmuchmoretimewithyourselfthaneverbefore.It’sthebestpossibleopportunitytofinallydevelopwhatwecommonlycall‘self-esteem’.Ifyoulearnhowtoreallytrustyourselfbeforelisteningtoalltheinformationaboutwhatisgoingon,ifyoutrulygettoreconnectwithyourownself,youcanbecomemuchmorepowerful,andwhenallofthisisover,you’llfeelrenewed,readytofacewhateverisnext!

When/Where

What’sthefirstthingyoudowhenyouwakeup?Mostpeoplepickuptheirphone,tablet,etc.andcheckthenewstheymissedwhiletheywereasleep.Nowadays,everythingisCoronathis,Coronathat,sothefirstthingthey’redoingisreconnectingwiththeenergyofthepandemic!Wehavetokeepinformed,butweareexposedalldaytoendlessinformation,ormis-information,sowhyrush?Whydon’tyoutaketimetoconnectwithyourself,makesureyouhaveallyourshieldsup,feelstrong,confidentandpositivebeforeyoudiveintowhateveryouhavetofacethatday?


WhoIstartedtestingthisstrategywithmyself.IhadthegoodfortuneofbeingataseminarinOrlandowithDr.RichardBandlerandKathleenandJohnLaVallewhentheCoronavirusexplosionstarted.Ibenefitedfromtheirexampleofkeepingpositiveandfocusedonhavinggoodfeelings.Iwasinabubble,protectedfromthecrazinessthatwasgoingonintheworld.Wewerekeepingourselvessafe,takingalltheprecautionsnecessary,butnotfallingintothetemptationofover-exposingourselvestothenews.

WhenIarrivedbackhomeinMexico,IfoundmykidsfeelinganxiousbecausetheywerehearingallsortsofthingsaboutthepandemicwhileIwasaway.Inaddition,theirschoolhadcancelledclasses.Kidsfollowexampleonhowtoactinanynewsituation:Iexplainedtothemtheimportanceofstayingpositive,offirstconnectingwiththemselves,tolistentothatsmallvoiceontheinsidethatissometimescalled‘intuition’.Themostimportantthingwasthatweweretogetherandwell.Wejusthadtokeepourselvessafe.

Thenextday,whilewalkingthedogwithmykids,aneighboryelledfromthedistance:“It’stheendoftheworld!”Istoppedherrightthereandtoldherthatsheshouldn’tsaysuchthings,especiallynotinfrontofkids!Peoplesaystupidthingswithoutthinking.Obviously,thissituationwillpass,butwhatyoudotoyourselfisgoingtolast!Howyoutrainyourselftothinkabout,andreactto,whatishappeningisgoingtodeterminehowyouaregoingtothinkfromnowon.

Thisisthefirsttimeinmylifethatacircumstanceofthisnaturewithglobalreachhashappened.AsIseeit,it’sanevolution.Revolutionmeanstheopportunitytore-evolve.Weareevolvingasaspecies.Weeithervibrateatahigherfrequencyofthoughtorletourselvesgetdrainedbynegativity.

Iwasverysurprisedtobecontactedbymanyclientswhowereexperiencinganxietyandevenpanicattacks.ThishadNOTHINGtodowiththevirus;thesepeoplewereharmingthemselveswithoutrageousthoughtsandimagesthatwereonlyintheirimagination.So,Idecidedtosharethisantidote.Soon,mykids’friendswereusingthis,asweretheirparents,theirteachersandmystudentswithamazingresults.AndnowI’mhappytosharethisverysimpleyetpowerfultechniquewithyou.


How

• Thefirstthingyoudowhenyouwakeup(perhapsaftergoingtothebathroom),isconnectwithyourself.

• Youcanstayinbedwithyoureyesclosed,orifyouprefer,lookatyourselfinthemirrorandsay‘hello’.

• Takethetimetothankyourselfforbeingthereforyou.• Recognizethreedifferentqualitiesyouareproudtohave.Youcan

saysomethinglike:“Hello[sayyourname]Thankyousomuchforbeinghereforme!Ilovethatyouarebright,positiveandhealthy”.

• Tellyourselfthatyoutrustyou!• ConnectwithyourHigherSelf.Regardlessofyourbeliefs,thereisa

partinyouthatknowshowtokeepyousafe,physicallyandmentally.Imaginethatthispartofyouliveswithinandismadeofgoldenlight.

• Imaginethatthelightinsideyougrowsstrongerfromtheinsideout.Youcanpictureyourselfbecomingashinysun,burningwiththeeternalenergyofLove.

• IfyouneedhelptoconnectwiththeenergyofLove,youcanthinkofanythingthatproducesloveinyourheart;yourlovedones,agoodmemory,yourpet.Itcanbeanything!Loveisthemostpowerfulfeeling.AsIunderstandit,thereareonlytwokindsoffeelings:LoveandFear.Theycannotco-existatthesametimeinsideyou.Youareeitherconnectedtooneortheother.MAKESUREYOUARECONNECTEDTOLOVEFIRST!

• Nowthatyouarefeelingstrong,youcanreallytrustyourself!It’snotaneasythingtomaintain,somakeapactwithyourself:Youaregoingtobethebestpossibleversionofyourself.Nomatterwhathappensthroughouttheday,youaregoingtobethereforyou!

• Nowtherearethingsyoucancontrol,andthingsthatarecompletelyoutofyourcontrol.Whatyoucancontrolatalltimesisyourinternalstate.Remember,firstchooseLove-ineverysituation!

• Whenyouareinanaircraftandthesafetybriefingistakingplace,youaretoldthatthatintheunlikelycaseofade-pressurizationofthecabin,breathingmaskswilldropfromaboveyourseat.Youareinstructedtoputamaskonyourselffirst,andthenhelpothers.Thisisbecauseyouhavetobewellandstrongtobeabletocopewithwhatevercomesnext.


• Perhapsthroughouttheday,youloseyourpositivity,dependingonthenewsthatcomesyourway.Thisisnormal.Themostimportantthingishowlongitwilltakebeforeyoureconnectwithyourself,yourhigherSelf!

• Habitsarelikemuscles:Ifyoutrainthemdaily,theybecomestrong.Imaginewhatyourlifeisgoingtobelikenowthatyouhavetakentheopportunitytohaveabetter,stronger,lovingrelationshipwithyourself!Imaginehowthisisgoingtoimproveallyourrelationshipswithyourlovedones.Howeasyit’sgoingtobeforyoutotakebetter,brighterdecisions,focusingonwhatisreallyimportantinsteadoffallingintothetrapsomanypeoplehave,ofgivingmoreenergywhereitdoesn’tbelong.

Onelast,butveryimportantthing:Detoxyourselfasoftenasyoucanfromtheoverloadofinformation!Staypositiveandsafe.

What/When/Where else

ConnectingwithyourhigherSelfandreallytrustingyourselfisgoingtobringmanybenefitsforyouinotherareasofyourlifeaswell.Youareinfactboostingyourimmunesystem!Everycellinyourbodyislisteningtowhatyousayandthink.Ifyougivethe“instructions”tokeephealthyandtrusteverycell,youaregoingtokeepmentallyandphysicallystrong!Notonlythat,youaregoingtobeanexampleforthepeoplearoundyou,especiallykids.Youarealsogoingtoconnectwithyourcreativity,becauseyouarecreatingabetterworldthatisgoingtolastwhenallthisisover!

NathaliedeMarcéNLPTrainerandNLPCoachingTrainerNathaliedeMarcéTrainings

©Copyright2020 Owen Fitzpatrick112

23 THE INTENTIONAL STRATEGY SevenIntentionalPracticestostaysaneandbeproductiveOwenFitzpatrick,Ireland

OneofthethingsImostenjoywatchingRichardBandlerdowhenheisonstage,iswhenhedemonstratesthepowerofintentionalsuggestion.Heoftengivestheexampleofwakingupeachmorningataparticulartime.Eventhoughwehavealarmclocks,mostofusdon’tneedthembecausewetendtowakeupatexactlythetimewewant.Suchisthepowerofyourunconscious.Itoffersyoutheabilitytoprogramyourbraininmagical,wonderfulways.

Atpresent,therearemanydistractionsthatdotheirbesttostealourattention.Withtheambiguitywefaceindealingwithawholenewworld,wefindourselvestryingtounderstandhowbesttofocusandhowbesttothinkbetter.WhenRichardtalksaboutThinkingonPurposeinourrecentbooktogether,hearguesthatwespendtoomuchtimelivinginautomatedpatternsofrememberingorvisualizingthingsthataren’thelpful.Tome,thiscriticalinsighthasneverbeenmoreimportantthanitistoday.Wemustbecomefarmoreintentionalabouteverythingwedo.Ifwefailtodothis,ourbrainswillrunus,insteadofusrunningourbrains.

TheIntentionalStrategyisasetofactionsthatIhavefoundtobeimmenselyusefulinnotonlythinkingmoreonpurpose,butdoingmanythingsmoreonpurpose,andthusgettingsomuchmoreoutofthemomentsthatweexperience.Thereare7actionsinall,whichIhighlyrecommendpracticinginyourdailylife.Ifyouwanttouseyourbrainbetterandsmarterandmore,thiswillhelp.Havingreceived

©Copyright2020 Owen Fitzpatrick 113

feedbackfromclientsandstudentswhohavecompletedthem,therealpowerappearstobeinthesimplicityofapplicationaswellasthemagnitudeofimpactintheireverydayrealities.

The7Intentionalactionsinclude:IntentionalTaskingIntentionalPracticeIntentionalReadingIntentionalWritingIntentionalFocusingIntentionalSpeakingIntentionalPlanning

Intentional Tasking

Intentionaltaskingistheprocessofengaginginaneverydayactionthatyoudo,butwithanintention.So,forexample,whenyoucookfood,youcanimagineyouaremakingthefoodhealthierandtastierwithyourenergy.Whenyoutakeashower,youcanimaginethewaterwashinganynegativefeelingsaway.Thesehabitualtasksthatyouengageincreatetheirownhypnoticexperience.Youcanthereforeutilizethatexperienceanddeliverself-hypnoticsuggestionswhileyoudothem.Thishelpsyoutotrainyourbraintopracticethinkingthetypeofthoughtsthatyouwanttothink,nevermindalsohelpingyouasthesuggestionsaredesignedto.

Quicktip:AskyourselfWhateverydaytasksdoyoudo?Whatpositivesuggestioncanyougiveyourselfasyoudothem?

Intentional Practice

Manypeopleunderstandthe10,000-hourruleasthediscoverythatyoucanbecomegreatatanythingifyouspend10,000hourspracticingit.ThisisoftenassociatedwithauthorMalcomGladwellandhisbookOutliers.Thetruth,however,isthatitisnotsimplypracticethatisrequired,butdeliberateorintentionalpractice.Intentionalpractice


meansdeliberatelypracticingdifferentaspectsofaskillsothatyoucanbecomegoodatit.TakeNLP-thereisabigdifferencebetweentalkingaboutanddoingsomeNLP;practicinglanguagepatternsoranchoringoroneofthetechniquesoverandoveragaintoimprove.Whenyoupracticewiththefocusandintentiontogetbetter,youarefarmorelikelytoachieveit.Ofcourse,thisworksmoreeffectivelyforskillsthatdon’trequireluckortherightcircumstancestooccurtoperformsuccessfully.

Quicktip:AskyourselfWhatspecificaspectofthisskilldoyouwanttoimprove?Howmuchtimecanyouspendjustpracticingthat?

Intentional Reading

Manypeoplestruggletostayfocusedwhenreading.Inpreparationforepisodesofmypodcast,ChangingMindswithOwenFitzpatrick,Igetthroughalotofbooksquickly.Ihavebeenasked‘how?’quiteafewtimes.MymainsecretisIntentionalReading.BeforeIreadabook,IamveryclearaboutexactlywhatIwanttolearnorgetfromit.Ispendtimethinkingthisthroughandgettingabsoluteclarityfirstandforemost.Questionsdeterminewhereyourattentiongoes.So,whenIhaveacleargoalforthebookthatIamreading,IfindmyselfgettinglessdistractedandIgetsomuchmoreoutofit.

Quicktip:AskyourselfWhatdoyouwanttolearninthisbook/article?

Intentional Writing

Oneofthebiggestmistakeswemakewhenweemailsomeone,orwriteablogorsocialmediapost,isthatwecommunicatewhatisinourheadratherthanthinkingaboutwhatwewanttheotherpersontoread.Intentionalwritingmeansgettingsuper-clearaboutexactlywhatyouwanttosayandthemessageyouwanttocommunicate.Withwriting,it

©Copyright2020 Owen Fitzpatrick 115

isalsoreallyimportantthatweconsidernotjusttheinformationthatwewanttheotherpersontoknow,butalsohowwewantthemtofeelandwhatwewantthemtodo.Whenyouwritewithintention,youconsider:

Whatdoyouwantthemtoknow?Whatemotionsdoyouwantthemtofeel?Whatdoyouwantthemtodo?

Quicktip:Asyouwrite,askyourselfHaveyouclearlyarticulatedwhatyouneedtoinordertosatisfythosethreequestions?

Intentional Focusing

Ourattentionisapreciouscommoditywhichisoftenstolenbythenewsmedia,socialmedia,otherpeopleandthemanydistractionsinourlife.Intentionalfocusingmeansdecidingwhereyouaregoingtoputyourattention.Irecommendcreatinganattentionbudget,whereyoudecidehowmuchattentioneachdayyouaregoingtogivetothenewsmediaorsocialmedia,forinstance.Youaretakingbackcontrolofwhereyourattentiongoes.Thisissoimportantandvaluablebecauseithelpsmassivelywithanxietyandstress.Whenyouaredecidingwheretoputyourattention,youarealsodecidingwhatkindofinputyouaretakingintoyourbrain.

Quicktip:AskyourselfWhereareyougoingtospendyourattentiontoday?

Intentional Speaking

JohnLaValletaughtmethevalueandpowerofWell-TargetedQuestions.I’llneverforgethimdoingaQ&Awithanaudience,whenheaskedpeoplewhatquestiontheywouldask.Thenhewouldaskthem‘Whatdoyouwanttoknow?’Therewasalwaysadisparity.Sooften,likeourwriting,ourspeakingisnotintentionalenough.Wespeakourthoughtsbeforewegetthemtogether.Intentionalspeakingmeans


gettingclearaboutexactlywhatyouwanttosayandhowtobestsayittootherstogetthedesiredresult.

Quicktip:Whenyouspeak,askyourselfWhatareyoutryingtosay?Whatresultdoyouwanttoget?

Intentional Planning

Althoughplanning,byitsverynature,hasanintention,IntentionalPlanningishowIdescribeplanningfromthepresenttothefutureandfromthefuturetothepast.Mostpeopletendtoplanbythinkingaboutwheretheywanttogetto,thentheyfigureoutwhat’sthefirststep,thesecondstepandsoon.ThoughIbelievethat’suseful,whatmostpeoplemissisworkingbackwardsaswellasforwards.BythisImeanthatwereverse-engineersuccessforourselves.Weimaginehavingsucceededinourgoalandthenweaskwhatneedstobethereinorderforustohavesucceeded.Wekeepdoingthatfurtherandfurtherbackuntilwearriveatthispointintimeagain.Thereareplentyofextrabitsofinformationwegetwhenweintentionallycombinebothapproaches.

Quicktip:AskyourselfWhatarethestepstoachieveyourgoal?Onceyouwillhavesucceeded,whatwillhavetohavehappenedforyoutosucceed?

Thisstrategyhasbeenagamechangerforme.Asyouhandlethecrisis,dealwithchallengesinworkandathomeandbuildthekindoflifeyoudesire,Iamverysureyouwillfindthese7actionsextremelypowerfulandtransformational.

OwenFitzpatrickwww.owenfitzpatrick.comwww.changingmindspodcast.com

©Copyright2020 Roberta Liguori 117

24 PUT YOUR FOCUS IN THE RIGHT PLACEThepowerofquestionstochangeyourmood

RobertaLiguori,Italy

Oneofthemostdifficultconceptstounderstandformostfirst-timeattendantsataNeuroLinguisticProgrammingseminaristhatexternalcircumstanceshaveaminimalimpactonourmood.Weareusedtothinkingthata“sad”occurrencemakesussadanda“happy”occurrencemakesushappy,asthougheithercontainsafixedemotionalpotentialinitself.

Theconsequenceofthiswayofthinkingisthatwecanbehappyonlyintheabsenceofproblems,becausea“problem”,byitsverydefinition,isahassle;somethingthatwedon'tnecessarilylike,butthatwemustface.Inthisway,weattributethecauseofourunhappinesstotheunfavorablecircumstancesthatwefacealongtheway–acomplicatedfamilysituation,adifficultrelationship,adisease,ajobwedon'tlike,ashortageofmoney,ourweight,etc.

Butthetruthis,responsibilityforhowwefeelisoursalone;ourmooddoesnotdependonwhathappenstous,butratheritdependsonthemeaningwegivetowhathappenstous.

Iknowitisdifficulttoacceptatfirst,butitistrue;andtheCalifornianpsychologistSonjaLyubomirskyprovedit.Lyubomirskyconductedastudyoverseveralyearsontwoverylargegroupsofold-agedpeople.Thefirstgroupstatedtheyhad,thusfar,livedahappylife,whilethesecondgroupreportedtheyhadbeenlivingamiserableandunhappyone.Theextraordinarydisclosureofthepsychologistwasthatthetwogroupshadlivedexactlythesameexperiencesduringthecourseof

©Copyright2020 Roberta Liguori118

theirlives–thesamenumberofgriefs,births,diseases,successes,defeats,andjoys.Theonlydifferencebetweenthemwasthat,whiletheunhappypeoplewastedalmosttwiceasmuchtimemullingoverthenegativeexperiencestheyhadbeenliving,thehappyoneskepttheirfocusoneverythingpositivetheyhad,processingthenegativeexperiencesbydrawinglessonsinwhichtolivetheirfutureinabetterway.

MeNTAL FOCUS

Mentalfocusisexactlythis–theplacewherewegivefocustoourthoughts.

Sometimesitseemstousthateverythingisgoingwrong,thatnothingisworkingwellandeverythingisagainstus.Insuchcases,wehaveactivatedourRAS(ReticularActivatingSystem)regardingtheunluckyaspectsofourlife,sothatourmindremovesthepositiveaspects.

TheRASisamechanismofourbrainthatallowsustogiveprioritytowhatwefocuson:whenwefocusononethinginparticular,itbecomesoursubjectiverealityandnothingelseexists.ThisiswhyitissoimportanttohavefullcontrolofourRAS,inordertoalwaysdirectandkeepourMentalFocusonthemostpositiveandusefulaspectsofeachsituation,preventingourmindfromerasingimportantaspectsofourexperience.

ButhowdowetargetourRAS?

Thatisveryeasy:byaskingourselves.

IfwewanttohaveourMentalFocusasourbestallyandnotasourenemy,wemustdevelopandtrainourabilitytoaskourselvesusefulquestionsineverysituation.

Forexample,let’slookatsomeUN-usefulquestionstoaskwhentryingtosolveaproblemwearefacing:

• Whydoeseverythinghappentome?• WhyamIsounlucky?• Whycan'tIeverdothis?

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Noticehowwrongthesequestionsare,fortworeasons:

1. Theycontaintheassumptionthateverythingbadhappenstoyou,thatyouareunlucky,andthatyouareincapable–allthesefactsarecertainlynotobjective,butsubjectiveinterpretationsofyoursadmind,influencedbyyournegativemood

2. Theyforceyoutofocusonthecauseoftheproblem,notonthesolution

So,thesequestionspointyourMentalFocustosomedefinitelyun-usefuldirections,dotheynot?

Instead,someusefulquestionstoovercomeanobstacleare:

• HowcanIturnthischallengeintoanopportunity?• Whatisgoodinthissituation?• HowcanIgetoutofthissituationinthebestway?• HowcanIlearnsomethingfromthissituation?• WhatistheadvantageofthissituationIcannotyetsee?

NotehowthesequestionsdirectyourMentalFocustowardssolvingtheproblem,towardsyourpersonalimprovementandgratitude!

Ifyouwanttoimprovethequalityofyourlife,improvethequalityofyourquestions.Becausethequestionisnotwhetheryouaregoingtohaveproblems–thequestionishowyouaregoingtodealwiththemwhentheyarise.Butwiththeabilitytoaskyourselftherightquestions,problemswillnolongerfrightenyou.

RobertaLiguoriLicensed Master Trainer of NLPMental Coach, Author, Ironman Triathletewww.robertaliguori.it

©Copyright2020 Rocıo Suárez 120

25 MENTAL MASKStrengtheningyouforaworldincrisis

RocíoSuárez,Colombia

Todayweareexperiencingoneofthemostseriousproblemswehavefacedasahumanrace,theCovid-19pandemic.Iwoulddaretosaythatthisgenerates,inallpeopleoftheworld,uncertainty,fear,anguish,depression,angerandmanymorenegativeemotions.Mostpeopleknowthatthesenegativeemotionsarethecauseofpeoplemakingbaddecisions.Andeventhoughweareatthebeginningofthepandemic,feartakesoverandpeopleendupbuyingtonsoftoiletpaper-somethingwhichisobviouslynotnecessary!

Andthisiswhatalwayshappens,ifyou'veheardthephrase"gettingstuckintheproblem…”

Whathappensinyourbrainwhenyouareafraid?Yourbrainproducesnumerousnegativeneurotransmitters,andtheyformanaxisthatgoestothehypothalamus,thentothepituitarygland,andfromtheretotheadrenalglands,wherecortisolisproduced.

Doyouknowwhatcortisolis?It'sthestresshormone.Andwhenthere'salotofcortisolinthebody,whathappens?Theimmunesystembecomesdepressed,makingyourbodysick.FearismakingyouevenmoresickthanCovid-19!Andthisbecomesaviciouscycle;cortisolcausesmorefear,andfearcausesmorecortisol.ThisiswhatIcall“thepaniccircle”.


“Thepaniccircle”andcortisolproducetunnelvision.Nowpeopleonlyfocusontheproblem;theycannotseeanyotherinformationoroptionsforasolutionaroundthem.Weknowpeoplecreaterealitythroughthoughtsandlanguage,butIaskyou:whenapersonisfacingaproblemliketheonewearefacingtoday,whatishisorherthinkingandlanguagelike?Itisverynegative,andinaddition,theinternaldialoguebecomesrepetitive,turningandgoingaroundthesameproblem,triggeringallkindsofcomplaints,criticisms,guilts,regrets,negativewordsandnegativeemotions.

Wehavetostopthatpaniccircleasfastaswecan,andstarttocreateacircleoflove,producingoxytocin,thehormoneoflove.Howdowedothat?WithFocusEffect.FocusEffectisaseriesofstepsyoucantaketokeepyouresponsibleforyourlifeandthecircumstancesinwhichyou'reliving.Byconsciouslyandvoluntarilydecidingwhatyoufocuson,whatitmeans,andwhatyou’regoingtodowhenyoufacethepandemic.Applyingthisyourselfcanchangeyourperceptionofrealityandhelpyougetwonderfulresults.

Focuseffect-firststep:Understandingthatinlifewealwayshaveproblems.Today,it’sCovid-19,yesterdayitwasinfluence,economiccrisis,lossofwork,death,divorce,andsoon.Tomorrowitcouldbeanothervirus,morelossofworkordeathsorseparations.Whatcomesafterthepandemiciscomplex-negativecircumstancesareinherentinthedevelopmentofmankind.

Thethingisnotthatproblemsarise.Problemshavealwaysexistedandwillalwaysexist.Theproblemisthatyouarenotprepared,thatyoudonothavethementalandemotionalresourcestolivethroughandovercomeproblems.Lookatthequarantine-manyweretakenbysurprise;wedidn’timaginethatsomethinglikethiscouldhappen.Anguishandfearinvadedpeople’slives,makingthemmakebadchoices.Iwonder,ifyouhadbeenpreparedforthiscrisis,thestorywouldhavebeendifferent,right?

Rememberthatgreatleadersaretheoneswhoanticipatethings.Thatdoesn’tmeanwewillpredictthefuture,becauseimaginingsomethinglikethiswasverydifficult,butyoucanprepareyourinnerstatetobestrongandfulloflove.


Focuseffect–secondstep:Beawarethattheplanetistellingusthatwemusthaltalmostallareasoflife;putonamask,useantibacterialwash,takecareoverhygiene,especiallyourhands,andstrengthenourimmunesystem.I’mthinkingthatnotonlyshouldweuseaphysicalmask,butalsoamentalmaskofcomplaints,guilt,resentmentandnegativethoughts.Anantibacterialthatcleansesourheartofvictimhoodandpessimisticthoughts.Acleansingofourintentionaboutwhatwearegoingtogivewithourhands,sothatwhatwegiveisgenerous,fulloflove.Andtostrengthennotonlyourphysicalimmunesystem,butourspiritualimmunesystem,whichistheonethatwillleadustotranscendence.

Focuseffect–thirdstep:Focusontheactionsyoudotocreatepositiveemotionsthatkeepyouhopefulonadailybasis.Thesearesuper-simpleactions,becauseallofuscantakeafewminutesadaytopauseinsidethisquarantinepause,peekoutthewindowandseethesky,receivethesunlight,breathedeeplyandconsciously.

Ifyou'regoingtohavelunch,taketimetobethankfulforwhatyouhaveonyourplate,tasteandenjoyitslowly,andprayifyouhavethatdisposition.Youcanalsotakeafewminutesaday,amongsteverything,tosmileatyourchild,talktoyourpartner,thinkaboutwhatyouwantyourdaytobe,inhaleandexhaledeeply,exercise,stretch,meditate,greetyourparentsorfriends.Simpleactionsliketheserechargeyouwithenergyandbuildpositiveemotions.

Youaregoingtobecomeawareoftheimportanceofspendingatleastfiveminutesadayonyourwellbeing,ensuringyoufocusonwhatmattersmost:You.Ibelieveallofushavefiveminutesadaytostopalongthewayandgenerateanemotionalstatethatworksbetter.Sometimes,wespendalldaycaringforourchildrenandeverydayjobs,anddon’tleavespaceforourselves.Wecantakeafewminutesatnight,inbed,tobethankfulordoashortmeditation.

Thetruthis,therearenoexcuses.Iassureyouthatthetimeisnow,butmaybeyou’reusingthistimetocomplainorengageinthoughtsoractionsthatdon’tsupportwellbeing.Takeadvantageofyourtime,investitbetter,becauseyoumaymissyearsandnotevenrealizeit.

Focuseffect–fourthstep:Theinvitationistobesimple.Wehaveniceclothes,butwehavenowheretoshowthemoff.Thesamegoesforthecaryouhaveorthemoneyinyourwallet.You'reenjoyingyour


home,withoutmake-upifyouareagirl,withoutshavingifyou’reaguy.I’msureyoudressupinsportswear,foodisalsobecominghealthyandsimple.It'simportantthatyourenergystaysthatway-simple.

Focuseffect–fifthstep:Focusonhowfundamentalitistobuildyourfuturefromhopeandlove.Whenyoubuildyourfuture,youaregoingtoanswerthesetwoimportantquestions:Whatareyougoingtohaveachievedineverycontextofyourlifewhenthishasfinished?Howstrongandlovingdoyouwanttobewhenallthishasfinished?

Focuseffect-sixthstep:Gratitude.Infinitegratitudeforwhoyouare,whatyoudoandwhatyouhave.Gratefulnessfromtheheartandcommittingyourselftoliveyourlifefrombiginnerstrengthandfromlove.Canyouimaginelivingthisexperiencefromgratitude?Don'tletlifeandcircumstanceliveyourlife,don'tbeafollowerofwhateveryonesays,itistimeforyoutoassumethepersonalpowerwithinyouandbecometheleaderofyourownlife.

Focuseffect-seventhstep:Theplanetispaused,butdon'tletyourlife,yourplans,yourgoalsbepaused.Loveyourlife,laughandenjoy.Thispandemicwillalsobeinthepastand,astheMasterofmasters,thegreatRichardBandlersays,“Thebestthingaboutthepastisthatithasalreadyhappened,andthebestofthefuturearetheinfinitepossibilitiesthatyoucancreatefromyourmindandfromyourheart.Justrememberthatthechangeisautomatic,butEvolutionisnot.Toevolveisnecessary,awareness,willandalotoflove”.

RocíoSuárezRocioSuarez.comFBandIG:RocioSuarezOficialMasterTrainerofNLP-MasterCoachMasterinCognitiveNeuroscienceColombia-SouthAmerica

©Copyright2020 Saul Kent Ross, MBA PhD124

26 BILATERAL BRAIN STIMULATION: BBSAsimpleandfasttechniquetoreduceoreveneliminatefeelingsofanxietyandoverwhelmSaulKentRossMBAPhD,Australia

READERNOTE–Asyoureadthis,someofthelanguageusedispurposefullynotintendedtobegrammaticalinthecommonsense

Let’sbegin...

Wouldn’titbegreattoquicklylearnasimplestrategythatcanbehighlyeffectiveatreducingoreliminatingfeelingsofstressfulanxietyoroverwhelminjustacoupleofminutes?

Thestrategyworksattheneurologicalleveldirectly,anditcouldn’tbeeasier,changinghowyoufeelinafewmoments.Thistechniqueisessentiallyabrainhack–andthedetailsoftheproblemdonotneedtoberesolvedtofeeldifferently.

Beforegettingintothegoodstuff,alittleunderstandingofwhatishappeningwhenweexperiencefeelingsofanxietyandoverwhelmwouldbeausefulplacetostart.Inordertofeelanemotion,weneedtothinkaboutsomethingthatstimulatestheemotionalcircuitinyourbrain.Thiscreatesaphysiologicalresponseinyourbodyfromtheneurochemicalrelease.Fromthisinitialtrigger,theneurochemicalssurgingaroundyourbodywillhaveaneffectthatlastsonlyaround90secondsbeforeitdissipates,accordingtoresearchfromneurologistDr.JBolteTaylor.

©Copyright2020 Saul Kent Ross, MBA PhD 125

Tokeepthefeelingsgoingformorethanthistime,thethoughts,thementalstorythatinitiallytriggeredtheemotion,needtobere-stimulated,replayed,looping,keepingtheemotionandfeelingsgoing.Evenfightingtheemotiondirectlycankeepitgoing.Interruptingthisloopedthinking,theinternaldialoguethat’skeepingthispresentneedstostop,allowingyoutofeelandthinkdifferently.

Thistechniquethatyouwillexperienceandlearntakesadvantageandutilizesanotheraspectofwhathappenswhenwefeelastrongemotion.Onehalfofourbrainbecomesover-stimulated;usuallytherighthemisphere,itbeingmoretheemotionalcenter,amongotherthings.

Additionally,thistechniquehelpstore-balanceandactivatebothhemispheres,increasingbloodflow,communicationandsynchronization.TheBBStechnique,throughutilizingphysicalmotion,stimulatesbothhemispheres;theleftsideofthebraincontrolsmotionintherightsideofthebody,andconverselytherighthemispheretheleft.

Let’sgettoit!!

Alittleset-upisrequired–andthenontotheevenbetterstuff.

Iwouldlikeyoustandupandtakeholdofasmallobjectthatcanbeheldeasilyinonehandandpassedtoyourotherhand.Iwouldsuggestsomethinglikeasmallwaterbottle,apen,maybeaball–fromnowonIwillrefertotheobjectasBOB,becausethissoundsfriendlyandbecauseIdon’tknowwhattheobjectis.

IwillaskyoutocontinuemovingBOB(theobject)fromyourlefthandtoyourighthandinfrontofyourbody,essentiallyatyourmidline–aroundtheheightofyourbellybutton/navel.

STARTING POSITION

• Holdingtheobjectinyourlefthand,handstogetheroutinfrontofyouataroundnavelheightorslightlyhigher,elbowsrelaxedandbentifyouwish.


THE MOTION

1. Thelefthandwillmovecomfortablytotheleft,leavingtherighthandinthestartingposition.

2. ThenyourlefthandreturnstothemidlineandyouexchangeBOB(theobject)toyourrighthand.

3. Leavingthelefthandinplace,therighthandmovestotheright.4. ThenrightbacktothecenterandexchangingBOB.5. Thismovementpatterncontinuesfordurationofthetechnique

(1-2minutes)

THE PACE

• Thewholemovementpatternisabout4seconds-essentiallywalkingorslowandeasybreathingpace.Thenrepeatedcontinuallyforthedurationofthetechnique.

• Ifyouaremusicallyinclined,around60beatsaminute,startinginthemiddle,movelefthandtotheleftoncountof1,backtocenterandexchangeon2,3righthandtoright,on4backcenterandexchangeandrepeat(1234=4seconds)

Nowthatyouhavetakenthetimetolearnalittleabouthowwethinkandfeel,alittlebitofknowledgeandunderstandinggoesalongwaytoenableyoutogetthebestfromthistechnique.Asyounowunderstandthemotionpattern,itreallyiseasytofeeldifferentlyveryquickly.

Nowforthefunpart!

Let’sbegin!

Forthepurposeoflearningthistechnique,Iwantyoutochoosesomethingthatmakesyoufeelanxiousonascaleof1-10;1beingsomethingthathaslittletonoeffectandgettingmoreintensewitheachhighernumber(choosesomethingnohigherthana5).Asyouthinkaboutthisnowyoustarttohaveaphysiologicalreaction,maybeyoucanstarttonoticeashiftinyourbreathing,yourheartstartstopoundalittle,sensationsinyourbody.

Iwantyoutosaythenumber.

©Copyright2020 Saul Kent Ross, MBA PhD 127

Canyounowfocusinonthatfeelingandincreaseitonemorenumber(forinstance,froma5toa6)

NowasyoubeginwithBOB(theobject)inthestartingposition,youcanstartthemotionpattern.Firsttotheleft.Thentothecenter,andexchangetoyourrighthand.Movingyourrighthandouttotheright,andbackagain.NoticingthesensationofholdingBOB(theobject)inyourhand.Left–CentreExchange–right–CentreExchange.Noticingyourbreathing...slowingasyoucontinue.Left,Centre,Right,Centre,Left…Continuingthismotion.Knowingthatyouareactivatingbothhemispheresofyourbrain.Synchronizing.Rebalancing.Feelingdifferently.AsyoucontinuetobreatheandpassBOBbackandforth.Continuingtofocusonthesensationsinyourhands,Andfocusingonjustbreathingrhythmically.Left234Left234Left234LeavingthosethoughtsbehindFeelingdifferentlyFeelingbetter,betterthanbeforeEachandeveryrepetition…

(continuefor90seconds-2minutesintotalforthewholetechnique)

Fantastic–andhowareyoufeeling?

Nowyouhaveexperiencedthistechnique,itcanbeusedanytimethatanxiousandoverwhelmingthoughtsandfeelingsariseandrebalanceyourself,takingcontrolandfeelingbetter.

Whenyoudothisforyourself,youalreadyhavetheknowledge,andyouhavetheskillofthemotionpattern–sotheactualtechniquethatyoucanuseisasfollows:


Bilateral Brain Stimulation (BBS)

1. Theanxietythatarises–whatlevelisitonascaleof1to10–numberit.

2. Takeanobjectinyourhands.3. Takeacalmingbreath.4. Startthemotionpattern.5. Countingtoyourself1,2,3,4-Movingataroundonemovement

persecond.6. Focusingonthesensationoftheobjectinyourhands.7. Slowingyourbreathtothepaceofyourhands.8. Dothisfor1-2minutes.9. Noticinghowmuchbetteryoufeel.

Thistechniqueisgreattoknowandcanbeeasilylearnedandtaught.

Oncemastered,neverforgotten,itcanbedonevirtuallyanywhere;youdon’thavetobestanding,youcanalsosit.

Howaboutteachingyourfamilymembersandfriends;thisevenworksgreatwithchildren.Theydon’tnecessarilyneedtoknowhowthemindworks(butevenwhenIwasyoungIwouldhavelikedtoknowthatstuff).Leadthemthroughtheprocesssotheycanexperienceit,learnit,anduseit.

Practicethisstrategywhenyouarenotatyourmostanxious–soyouknowexactlywhattodowhenyouenterasituationwhereyouwanttofeeldifferentlyquickly.

Thereisaspeciallyrecordedvideoleadingyouthroughthistechniqueonwww.saulkentross.comCopyright©2020SaulRossAllRightsReserved.Thisworkoranyportionthereofmaynotbereproduced,modifiedorusedinanymannerwhatsoeverwithouttheexpresswrittenpermissionoftheAuthorexceptfortheuseofbriefquotationsinabookreview.

SaulKentRossMBAPhDBusinessConsultant,CoachandTrainerwww.saulkentross.com

©Copyright2020 Tina Taylor 129

27 STAYING PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY HEALTHY UsingyourbrainpositivelyTinaTaylor,UnitedKingdom

AstheworldisbeingchallengedwithCovid-19;ourlivesareturnedupsidedown;whatwas“normal”forusjustacoupleofmonthsagoisnowanimpossibility.Itisimperativethatyouremaininapositiveframeofmindforyourphysicalandmentalwellbeing.Wefeelbetterwhenwehavecontrolandit’stimetofocusonyourhealthandwellbeing.

Icanimaginesomeofyoumaywanttoquestionthis;especiallywhenthemediaisfullofhowmanypeoplearedyingatthistime.Someofyoumaythink,‘howcanstayingpositivehelpmyphysicalhealth?’

Foryears,physicianshaveacceptedtheideaofpsychosomaticillnesses;believingthatstressisafactorinmanydiseasesincludingmigraine,ulcers,irritablebowelsyndrome,lowerbackpain,tensionheadaches,allergicreactionsandauto-immunedisorders.Infact,centuriesago,wheneverpeoplegotsickitwassaidthattheyhada‘dis-easeofthemind’,becauseourancestorsbelievedthatallillnessstartedinthemind.

Today,thehumanbrainisdescribedbysomepeopleasacomplexcomputersystem;weknowthatthebraincontrolsfunctionswithinthebodyand,muchlikeacomputer,itscansthebody,checkingforviruses.Whenithasdetectedsomethingthatneedsadjustment,therelevantadjustmentsaremade.Ifwecutourselves,forexample,our

©Copyright2020 Tina Taylor130

mindtakesovertheprocess;redbloodcellshelpcreatecollagen,whitefibersformthefoundationfornewtissue.Thewoundstartstofillinwithnewtissue.Newskinbeginstoformoverthistissueasthewoundheals.

Allthishappensunconsciously,withoutanythoughtoreffortonourpart.Sinceweknowthatthemindhasaprofoundphysiologicalandpsychologicaleffect,howcanweusethistostrengthentheimmunesystem?

Medicalpractitionersnowbelievethatstresssuppressestheimmunesystem.So,ifstresssuppressestheimmunesystem,canstateslikejoy,happiness,peaceofmindandrelaxationstrengthenit?Canthinkinghappythoughtsheal?

Aseverydrugonthemarkethasbeentestedagainstaplacebo,thereisahugeamountofclinicalevidencetosupporttheireffectiveness.Thisdataincludessomestartlingfactsabouttheplaceboeffect.Somestudiesshowthatplaceboswillworkaseffectivelyasdrugsaround40%ofthetime.

Theplaceboeffectdemonstratesthepowerthatcognitiveprocessessuchasbeliefandresponseexpectancyhaveinmobilizingyournaturalself-healingabilities.

Therearemanyexamplesofpeopleusingvisualizationandsimilarmethodstochangeamedicaldiagnosisandheal.Italldependsonthestoriesthatwetellourselvesandthebeliefsthatwehold.

Neurosciencerevealsthattheconsciousmindcontrolscognitivefunctionsforonly1%-5%ofthetime.Consequently,95%–99%ofourbehaviorsarederivedfromsubconsciousprograms.Hypnosistriggersarelaxationresponsethatisquantifiableandenablestherecipienttoaccesstheirunconsciousmindtoreprogramtheirbeliefsandbehaviors.

AsillustratedinthefilmTheMatrix,wehaveallbeenprogrammed!Whatwouldlifebelikeifwealltookthemovie’sredpillandgotoutoftheprogram?Justimaginewhatanempoweredlifewecouldlivewithoutthenegativemisperceptionsthatwehaveacquiredthroughoutourlives.Replacingourlimitingunconsciousprogramswithbehaviorsthatbetterreflectourwishesanddesireswouldleadtowardsamuchmorefulfillingandhappierlife.


So,thegoodnewsisthatthosedisempoweringsubconsciousprogramscaneasilybere-writtenandchangedusingNLP.TherefollowthreetechniquesthatIhavefoundbeneficialwhenworkingwithhealthandwellbeing.

Visual squash

1. Holdyourarmsoutfrontofyou,withspaceinbetweenandpalmsfacingupwards.

2. Ontheonehand,createavividrepresentationofyourselfthewayyouarenow,withallthebeliefs,thoughtsandfeelingsthatyouhave

3. Ontheotherhand,createavividrepresentationofhowyouwillbeonceyouhavegotthroughtheproblemsyouthoughtyouhad.Beveryclearabouthowyoubehave,whatyousayandhowyoufeel.Makethisextremelyclearanddesirable.

4. Lookatbothhands-thespacein-betweenrepresentsthestepsthatliebetweenthetworepresentations.

5. Asyoulookattheseimages,begintomakeaseriesofimages/moviesofthestepsthattakeyoufromhowyouarecurrentlytohowyouwillbe.Adjusteachpictureormovie,framebyframe,makingthenecessarychangesuntileachstepclearlyshowstheprocessyouaremaking.

6. Nowforthisnextstep,closeyoureyeswhilststilllookingattheimagesandstepsinfrontofyou.Asyourunconsciousbeginstomaketheadjustments,yourhandsbegintomoveslowlytowardseachotheruntiltheyoverlap.

7. Nowbringyourhandstowardsyourbodyandbringthenewstateintoyourbody;asyoudothisbegintocreateanewfeelinginsidethatrepresentspositivity,goodhealthandsuccess.

8. Andspinthatgoodfeelingfasterandfaster,intensifyingitasyoudo.Nowtakethatfeelingandallowittospreadthroughoutyourwholebody.Asitspreads,itmergeswitheachandeverycell,eachandeverymuscle,everysinglepartofyouabsorbsthishealingfeeling.Healingmentallyandphysicallyasitmovesthroughyourentirebody.

©Copyright2020 Tina Taylor132

9. Nowisthetimeforyoutolookintothefutureanddecidewhatneedstohappenfirst,thensecond,thenthirduntilyoucompletethestepsneeded.

10. Andallthetimeyourunconsciousislisteningtoyou,andyourimmunesystemknowswhatneedstobedoneasyoucontinuespinningandintensifyingthisfeeling.

Self-Hypnosis Stress Buster

First,findacomfortableplacewhereyoucanrelaxundisturbed.Tellpeoplearoundyoutoleaveyoualonewhilstyoufocusthisway.Foryears,peoplehaveusedbreathingtechniquestoinducetrance;thisquickandeasyhypnosistechniqueisjustsuchabreathingtechnique:

1. Beginbysittingorlyingdownandfocusonyourbreathing.2. Breathedeeplyandslowly.3. Imaginefillingyourlungscompletely,theairreachingthebottom

ofyourlungs.4. Imaginebreathingoxygenintoallpartsofyourbody;

a. beginwithyourfeet,yourlegs,yourstomach,yourchest

b. yourhands,yourarmsc. yourshoulders,yourneckyourhead

5. Ifyouhaveanareaofyourbodythatissoreoraches,imaginebreathingintothatspotandrevitalizetheareawiththecleansingfreshoxygen.

6. Dothisforafewminuteseachday.Startbysettingthetimeronyourphoneforjust5minutesasareminderwhenyouhavecompletedtheexercise.Afterawhileyouwon’tneedthereminder.Thisisagreatstress-busteranditonlytakesafewminutes.

Energizing Relaxation

Asbefore,findacomfortableplacewhereyoucanrelaxundisturbed.Tellpeoplearoundyoutoleaveyoualonewhilstyoufocusthisway.


1. Sitorliedownandbeginwiththedeepslowbreathingfromthepreviousexercise.

2. Imaginearelaxingwaterfallofenergyeitherinfrontofyouorbehindyou(whicheverfeelsbesttoyou).

3. Thiswaterfallisflowingwithhealing,relaxingenergy.Itiscoolorwarmwater,orastreamofsoftrelaxingenergy.

4. Imaginehowitfeelsasyoustepintothisbeautifulflowingwaterfallofenergy.

5. Itflowsfromthetopofyourheadallthewaydownyourbody,flowingoveryourshoulders,yourback,yourstomach,yourlegs,allthewaydowntothebottomofyourfeetanddowntothecenteroftheearth.

6. Asitflowsoveryouithealsandenergizes.Itwashesawaynegativity,clearingyourmindandchangingyourfocus.

7. Yourunconsciousmindiscloseenoughtohear,nowimaginelettinggoofeverythingthatgotinyourway,makingwayforthathealingenergyandrenewedfocus.

Asbefore,youcansetatimer10minutesbeforeyoubeginyourexercise.Afterawhile,youwon’tneedthetimer.

Andtheretheyare.Threesimple,easytolearntechniquesthatyoucandoalmostanywhereandanytime.Useeachtechniqueasneededduringthistimeandbeyond.

TinaTaylorLicensedMasterTrainerofNLP,Author,CoachandMasterClinicalHypnotherapistICCHandNLPMasterClass

©Copyright2020 Tom Phillips134

28 SELLING FROM HOME

TomPhillips,UnitedKingdom

Unlessyouarelivinginoneofthefewcountriesthathasn’tgoneintolockdown,youmaybethinkingaboutgeneratingextraincomewhilstworkingfromhome.Ifyou’vebeenunfortunateenoughtoloseyourjob,thenyouwilldefinitelybethinkingabouthowyoucangenerateincome.

Therearepeoplesellingeverythingyoucanthinkof(andmanythingsyouneverrealizedexisted)rightnowontheinternet.Evenifyouthinkyoudon’thavethetechnicalknowledgetosetupawebsiteor

onlinestore,worrynot.Thereareplentyofpeopleouttheretohelpyouandthousandsofwebsitestohelpyoutogaintheknowledgeyouneed,notleastYouTube,whichhasmillionsofhoursofvideosdedicatedtothisonetopic.

Here are my top tips for selling from home.

1. Don’tdoitforthemoney.Thismayseemcounterintuitive,butifallyouwanttodoismakemoney,thentraintobeadoctor,lawyerorinvestmentbanker.Thoseareallwell-paidjobs.Focusinsteadonsomethingyouarepassionateabout.Yourpassionwillbeinfectiousforyourcustomersandhelpyouthoughsomeofthetoughertimesthatinevitablyarisewhenyouare

©Copyright2020 Tom Phillips 135

settingupabusiness,regardlessofwhetheritwillbeyourmainformofincomeorjustasidehustle.Thatsaid,yourpassiondoesneedtobesomethingyoucansell.Ifyourpassionisstayinginbed,youmightbeabletogetamattressmanufacturertosponsoryouforsleepingontheirmattresses.Thiswouldbeahighlyspecialized,verynicheproductareatomoveinto.

2. Becomeapainmanager.Onceyouhaveidentifiedwhatyouwanttosell,thinkabouttheproblemorchallengethatyourofferingfixesforyourcustomers.Which“pain”pointorpointsdoesiteaseforthem?Howdoesithelpthem?ThesequestionswillhelpyoutoidentifyyourUniqueSellingProposition(USP).Ifyoucan’tidentifyapainpoint(orpoints)thatyourproductorservicefixes,theninventsome!WhenJamesDysonlaunchedthefirstDysonvacuumcleaner,noonehadeventhoughtabouttheneedforabag-lessvacuum,yethereweareyearslaterandnearlyeveryonehatesthethoughtofhavingtochangetheirvacuumcleanerbag!

3. Fishwhereyourtypeoffishswims.Onceyouhaveidentifiedyourproductorserviceandthepainthesetakeawayfromyourcustomersorclients,youneedtoselltoamarketplacewhereyouridealtypeofcustomerhangsout.ObviousplaceswouldbeAmazonoreBay.Youneedtothinkaboutotherplaceswhereyouridealcustomergoes.Whichwebsitesdotheyvisit?IfyouwanttoselldesignerdogcollarsforFrenchpoodles,wheredopeoplewhobuyFrenchpoodlesgo?Whatotherservicesdotheyneed(e.g.,veterinaryservices?)Whichforumgroupsaretheyin?DotheybelongtoparticulartypesofFacebookorLinkedIngroups?Canyouadvertiseintheseplaces?Ifsuchplacesdon’texist,createthemandstartinvitingyouridealtypeofcustomertothem.

4. Alittlegenerositygoesalongway,butnottoofar.Atthestartofyourjourneyintoentrepreneurship,youmaybetemptedtogivestuffawayforfree.DONOTDOTHIS.Attheveryleast,youshouldbegettingemailaddressessothatyoucanstarttobuildadatabaseofclients.Ifyou’reofferingapromotionalitemsuchasaproductsampleoreBook,useittogaincontactdetailsforthepeoplewhosignup.Ifyoucanofferyourproductorserviceatadiscountedrate,thendothisinstead.Thetypesofpeoplewhowillinglysignupfor“freestuff”arethetypesofpeoplewho

©Copyright2020 Tom Phillips136

ultimatelydon’twanttopayforanything.Ifyoucanenticethetypeofcustomerwhoiswillingtoinvestsomeoftheirhard-earnedcashtobeginwith,thentheyarefarmorelikelytospendmorecashfurtherdownthelineandkeepcomingbackasyouproducenewproductsorservices.

5. Network,network,networkandnetworksomemore.Networksareacriticalpartofanybusiness’ssuccess.Telleveryoneyouknowaboutwhatyouareselling,wheretheycanbuyitandwhytheyshouldbuyit.Tellthesepeopletotelleveryonetheyknow.Ifyoutellyour50closestfamilyandfriendsaboutwhatyou’redoingandeachofthemtells10morepeople,youhaveapotentialaudienceof500peoplestraightaway.Ifthose500tell10each,youhave5,000andsoon.Socialmediaisgreatfornetworking.BuildapresenceonFacebook,LinkedIn,Instagram,YouTube,TikTok,Pinterestandmore.Ifyou’renotsurehowtodothis,asksomeone.Thereareplentyofexpertsoutthere.Somewillcharge,somewilloffertheiradviceforfreeviatheirownwebsites,forumsandgroups.

6. Itdoesn’thavetobeperfecttostart,butifitneverstartsitwillneverbeperfect.Onceyouhavebasicsinplace,getoutthereandstartmakingnoise!Youdon’tneedaperfectwebsiteormarketingcampaign.Theywillneverbeperfect.Nomatterhowgoodyouthinktheyare,therewillalwaysbesomeonewhodoesn’tlikeyourwebsiteorthinksyourmarketingcampaignsucks.Youcanrefinethingsasyouprogress,butifnooneknowswhatyouareselling,youwon’tgetanyfeedbackatall,goodorbad.MicrosoftandAmazonbothstartedingarages!

7. Getsupport.Nomanisanisland,sogethelpwhereveryoucan.Thiscouldbeyourpartner,afamilymemberorfriend,aprofessionalbusinesscoachifyoucanaffordone.Youwillneedsomeonetobounceideasoff.Someonetosharethesuccessandthefailureswith.Again,therearethousandsofgroupsonsocialmediathatyoucanjoinforsupport.

8. Makemistakes.Makethemquickly.Learnfastandmoveon.Itisinevitablethatyouwillmakemistakes.Everysuccessfulentrepreneurhasandcontinuestodoso.Whenyoumakea

©Copyright2020 Tom Phillips 137

mistake,lookforthelessoninit.Betteryet,learnfromthemistakesofothers.Youhaven’tgottimetomakeallthemistakesothershavemade,solearnfromtheirmistakesandavoidthemwherepossible.Remember,thereisnofailure,onlyfeedback.

9. Yesterday,yousaidtomorrow.Youridea,whateveritis,couldlaunchthenextAmazon,Microsoft,VirginorEasyJet.Itwon’t,however,doanyofthisunlessyougetitupandrunning.Thereareamillionpotentialentrepreneursouttherewithideasthatcouldchangetheworld.Theirideasstaylockedintheirheadsandtheworldneverchangesasaresult.Theworldwon’tchangeuntilitknowswhatyourideais,so,asanotherfairlysuccessfulbrandsays;“Justdoit!”

Goodluck!

TomPhillipsManagingDirectorwww.tlpdelivers.com

©Copyright2020 Uwe Boehm138

29 WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING OFF? Shiftinggears-someofthemanythingsIhavelearnedfromDr.RichardBandlerandKathleenandJohnLaValleUweBoehm,Germany

Atthistime,manypeopleareasking:“Oh,whatcanwedo?Themediaisbombardinguswithallkindsofthesamestuffoverandoveragain,andit’smostlyeitherscaryorworrisome.It’ssimplytoomuch.Whenisitgoingtobeover?”

Well,maybethat’snotthemostusefulquestion.Whatwouldhappenifyouaskedyourself:“WhatcanIdowiththetimethatIhavenow?”Yes,thingscanhappen,butathomeIamgenerallysafe.Icandothings.So,whatcanIdothat’suseful?

IfIcan’tdowhatInormallydo,whatcanIdonowthat’sdifferent?Forsomepeople,it’srelaxingforthefirsttimeinalongwhile.Forsomepeopleit’sgettinggoingandstartingaprojectthey’vethoughtaboutforyears.Whathaveyouputofffortoolongalready?Whatisstillonyourlist?Nowyoucanchoose!

WhenViktorFranklwasheldinaconcentrationcamp,whatkepthimgoingwasthethoughtofwhathewoulddoafteritwasover.Andifhewasabletoplanhisfuture,thereisnoexcuseforusnottodoit.Yes,therearethingstowatchoutfor,therearethingsweneedtobecautiousabout.Butwhenyouaredrivinginyourcar,youdon’tworryorscreamthewholetimebecauseofaslightriskthatsomebodymightcrashintoyou.Youwatchout,youarecalm,andyouknowwhereyouaregoing.

©Copyright2020 Uwe Boehm 139

Justthinkofacouplemonthsfromnow,whenyoulookbackatthiscrazytime.Insteadofspendingyourtimefocusedonthemedia,maybeyoustartedsomething.Lookatallthestepsyouwillhavehaddonebythennow.Someofthemmightbecomeclearalready.Someyouneedtotakeacloserlookat.Maybeyouneedtolearnathingortwo.Tryoutstuff,soyougetexperience.Maybeyoudecidedtoreadabook.Andmaybeanotherone.Maybeyousignedupforanonlinecourseortalkedtofriendsorcolleaguestoshareandtakeonideas.Seeyourselfholdingthisbookinyourhands,listeningtoaninspiringpodcastorwatchingawebinarthatteachesyousomethingnew.Youlearnedthemissingpieces.Youthrewoutthegarbage,youtidiedthehouse,rearrangedsomestuff.Lookatthenewthingsyouputin,theaccomplishmentsyouhaveachieved,puttheworryinginthepast.Holdyourbreathforamoment,letthisinvisiblewavepassandthenremembertotakeinthefreshairandsolvewhatneedstobesolved,soyoustayontherighttrack.Doesn’tthatmakeyoumorerelaxed?

Whenyoucomebacktothehereandnow,lookatallthestepsyouaccomplishedtowardsyourgoalinthefuture.Andasyoucanseeyourselfdoingthisvividlyandwithfun,youbecomesoconvincedthatyoucanfeelthatsensationofexcitementstartinginyourbody.Getgoing!Shiftgearsandhitthegaspedal.

ViktorFranklcreatedawholenewwaytohelppeople;hewasdoingthatfordecadesafterhewasfreedfromthecamp.Henotonlyreadbooks,hewrotethem-lotsofthem.

Think.Thinkaboutyourgoalandthenactaccordingly.

[email protected]

©Copyright2020 Xavier Pirla Llorens140

30 BIOHACK YOUR RESILIENCE TO STRESS BalanceyournervoussystemandincreaseyourwellnesswithbiohackingtechniquesXavierPirlaLlorens,Spain

Keep your body and mind in good shape

NLPisanincredibletoolthatallowsustomanageourbraininanamazingway.ThankstothegeniusofDr.RichardBandler,wehavewaystochoosewhatwethink,feelanddo.

Butisitalwaystrue?Sciencetellsusthatthereisalimitwherewecan’tcontrolourmindorouremotionsanymore-ourphysiology.

ThefatherofNLPoftensaysthatourmindislikeabusthatneedstobedriven;ifyoudon’tlearnhowtomanageyourbrain,itislikesittinginthelastrowofthebuswhilesomeoneelseisdrivingitforyou.

Butabusneedsawell-maintainedengine,properbrakesandsuitablefuel.Withoutproperservicing,ourbrainsimplycan’tcopewithsituations,nomatterhowmuchyouknowaboutNLP.

BiohackingandheartcoherencetechniqueshelpustomakethemostofourbrainsothatwecanusethemightypowerofNLP.Theyhelptoserviceourwholebodyand,especially,ourbrain.

©Copyright2020 Xavier Pirla Llorens 141

Ifyoufeelwithoutenergy,sufferanxietyorarenotabletosleepwell,focusorcontrolyourthoughts,youwillfindthisinformationveryhelpful.

Now, more than ever, your health counts!

Inmomentswhereuncertaintyiseverywhere,oryourlifesimplydemandsyougoanextramile,it’simportantnottoburnthemidnightoil,buttooptimizeyourbodysothatitcanthriveinanysituationandyoucangetthebestfromit.

Whetheryou’refacingtoughtimesnow,oryou’reoftenoverloadedwithwork,oryouwanttomakethemostofNLPtomanageyouremotionsandthoughts,youwillfindwhatyouareabouttolearnwillbehelpful.

the best do it, so why not you?

Nowadays,everyathletecontrolsthehealthoftheirnervoussystembecausetheyknowthatwithoutperfectbalance,itisimpossibletoachieveahigh-performancestate.

Airtrafficcontrollers,police,militarypersonnel,commercialpilotsandbiohackers(thosethatusetechnologytooptimizetheirlife)measuretheirHRV(HeartRateVariability),becauseitisoneofthebestwaystocontrolyourhealth.

AnexperimentwithhundredsofpoliceintheUSAshowedtheirheartrateroseafterinterveninginanepisodeofdomesticviolenceandremainedabnormallyhighforhoursafterwards.

Whentheylearnedsomeofthetoolsyouareabouttoexploreinthischapter,theymanagedtolowertheirheartrateandkeepitlow,increasingtheirperformanceandwellbeingwithoutmeditationsormindfulness.Thisisjustscience.


Understanding the mechanics of stress

Whyisitsoimportanttokeeptheheartratedown?Welcometothefascinatingworldofyournervoussystem!Onceyouunderstandhowitworks,youwillbereadytobalanceitand,therefore,tobalanceyourmind.

OnepartofyournervoussystemiscalledtheANS(AutonomicNervousSystem).Itisinchargeofcontrollingyourinternalorgans,especiallytheheartandlungs.Let’sreturntoouranalogyofthebus;theANShastwoparts-thebrakepedal(calledParasympatheticANS)andthegaspedal(calledSympatheticANS).

Inanidealworld,everytimeyoupressthebrake,youreleasethegaspedal,soyourdriveissmooth.Butimagineasituationwhereyoukeeppressingthegaswhilebraking.Whatkindofjourneywillyouexperience?It’sprobablygoingtobebumpyanduncomfortable.

Whenweareverystressed,theSNSkicksinandourheartraterisessowearereadytofaceadangeroussituation.Thousandsofyearsago,thatmadeperfectsense-youwerefacedbylion,soyouneededalotofenergytoescape.Oncetheliondisappeared,thePSNSsloweddowntheheartandyoucouldrest

NLPhelpsustounderstandthatwhenwekeepcreatingimageswithsoundsinourbrains,thedangernevercompletelydisappears.It’slikehavingthatlioninourheadalldaylong.Ourbrainreactstothosementalimagesasiftheyarereal,soourSympatheticpartneverdisengages,andthegaspedalisalwayson-evenwhenourbodytriestobrake.

HRV (Heart Rate Variability): the Key to inner peace

Manypeoplethinkthattheheartisasregularasametronome,buttherealityisverydifferent.IfourANSisproperlybalanced,thentheheartchangespaceeverytimeyouinhaleorexhale.


Why?BecauseinhalingcreatesaSympatheticresponsethatmakestheheartgofaster,andexhalingcreatestheoppositeeffect.So,thedeeperwebreathe,themoreourheartslowsdownorspeedsupwitheachbreath.ThisheartratedifferenceiscalledHeartRateVariabilityandisthekeytoourwellbeing.

Asmentionedearlier,whenwedon’thaveabalancednervoussystem,everythinggoeswrong.Insteadofhavingbigandsmoothspeedvariations(deepbreathing),theheartratechangeswithshortspeedvariations.Thegraphresemblesanearthquakepattern:

So,agoodwaytoknowhowwell-restedyouareistomeasureyourheart.AthletesmeasuretheirHRVeverymorning,sothattheycandecidehowmuchmoretheycanstresstheirbodywhentraining.Nowadays,almostanysmartwatch,smartbandorcellphonemeasuresHRV,makingiteasytounderstandyourlevelofstress.

Mind-Heart connection

Onlyafewpeopleknowthat80%ofallthecommunicationbetweenthebrainandtheheartisupwards.Thisdiscoverymadebyscientistschangesourperceptionoftheheartfrombeingjustapumptobeingabletodramaticallyaffectourbrainperformance.AlowHRVaffectsourbrainintwodifferentways:

1. Itaffectsourcortex(whereourhigherfunctionsare).

Low HRV High HRV


2. Itaffectsourthalamus(whereweorganizeourthoughts).

So,alowHRVcancreateanxiety,lackofcoherentthoughts,problemsmakingdecisionsandconfusion,amongotherthings.Italsoaffectsourabilitytogotosleepandrestdeeplyatnight.Thelessyourest,thelessyournervoussystemcanrecover,anditbecomesarecursiveloop.Ourheartissoimportantthat,withoutagoodHRV,itisverydifficultforustouseNLPeffectively,ordomeditationoranyrelaxingtechnique.

Biohack your resilience

Resilienceisthecapacitytoprepare,recoverandadaptinthefaceofstress,challengeoradversity.So,howtodoit?

Theclueisthateverysysteminthebodyneedsresttorecoverfromstress.Thisiswhatyoudoifyougotothegym;youstressyourmusclesuntiltheycan’tcopeanymoreandthenyouletthemrest.Butmusclesdon’tjustrest,theyadapttothelaststressingsession,sotheycancopebetterinthefuture.Youaremakingyourmusclesmoreresilient!

Thesamehappenswithournervoussystem.Ifyouletyourbodyrecoverfromastressfulsituation,itwillcopebetternexttime.Butinsteadofdoingthis,wekeepthinkingandthinkingabouttheproblemthatcreatesstressinus.

Then,nomatterhowstrongyouare,soonerorlateryouwillfaceawall:exhaustion.Youwillburnoutyourbody.

Thekeypointistoletyourbodyrecoverfromstress.Youcandothisinthreesimpleways:

1. Takeashortperiodofrestevery50minutes(ifyoucan,liedown;ithelpsthePSNS).

2. Haverestfulsleep(veryimportantforaproperrecovery).3. Takeperiodsof“holidaythinking”toletyourbrainandbodyrelax

fromstressors(1to15days).

It’scriticaltoreduceyourstresslevelsasfastaspossibleaftereverypeakofstress,asweareabouttodiscover.


10 Tips to biohack your inner balance

Usethesetoolstobalanceyournervoussystem:1. Breathingtechnique:Thethree5s.Breatheindeeplyfor

5secondsandoutfor5secondsfor5minutes.YouwillincreaseyourHRVautomatically.It’sveryimportanttodothisaftereverystresspeakandtodoitbeforebed.

2. Shifttoappreciation.FeelingsofloveandappreciationcreateaSympatheticresponse.So,now’sthemomenttouseyourNLPskillstocreateamentalimagewhereyoucanfeelalotofloveorbeappreciativeaboutsomething.Themorereal,thestrongerthefeeling!

3. Restdeeply.Avoidscreenexposurefor1hourbeforebed.Turnoffanylightorsoundinthebedroom,don’tdointenseexerciseatnightandpracticeyourHRVbreathingbeforefallingsleep.

4. Giveyourbrainabreak.Distractyourbrainbydeliberatelythinkingnice,relaxingthoughts.Yourbrainneedstorest!

5. Coldtherapy.Exposuretocoldtriggersavagalresponse(parasympathetic).Immerseyourfaceinreallycoldwaterordaretohaveacoldshower.Youwillnoticetherelaxationafterthefirstshock.

6. Apneas.Ifyouholdyourbreathforfewseconds(alwaysfeelingcomfortableandnotchoking!)youtriggeraparasympatheticresponse.

7. Immersion.SubmergingyourbodyinwaterautomaticallytriggersaPNSresponse,sohaveanicebath,Jacuzzioradipintheseaorswimmingpool.

8. Giveyourbrainhope.Oneofthemostpowerfulmentaltoolsistohopeforabetterfuture.ThatcoolsdowntheSNSandgivesyouasenseofinnerease.

9. Purpose.Oneofthemostbalancingexperiencescomeswhenyouunderstandyourpurposeinlife.Thinkhowyoucanserveothers,helptomakeabetterworld,etc.

10. Easyonthecaffeine.Caffeinecanhavebeneficialeffects,butitcanalsohidealackofproperrestandtriggertheSNSinexcess.Also,itcanaffectyoursleepquality.Ifyoufeeltiredinthemorning,lookathowyoucanrestbetterandreduceyourstressratherthanusingtoomuchcaffeine.


So,rememberthatifyouwantyourbustobedrivenlongdistancesortheslopegetstoosteep,youneedtohaveyourvehicleservicedandkeepyourengineingreatcondition.

Nowadays,it’smoreimportantthanevertobeabletoperformatyourpeaklevelandthesetoolswillhelpyoutodoit.Youjustneedtopractice!

XavierPirlaLlorensLicensedMasterTrainerofNLP&BiohackerSpain

©Copyright2020 Yurina Shiraishi 147

31 HOW TO LIGHTEN AND BRIGHTEN YOUR LIFEFivestepstomakeyousmileandfeelhappierYurinaShiraishi,Japan

2020hasbroughtwithitanunexpectedandunprecedentedworldwidecrisis.Thissituationcausesnotonlyphysicalandeconomicproblems,butalsoemotionalissueslikefear,anxiety,panic,depression,violenceandsuicide.

Andifwetrytoignoreorsuppressthoseemotionalsymptoms,thingscouldgetevenworse.

Coronavirusisnotvisibleortangible.Thatisoneofthereasonswhywearethreatened.Andourinnerstate,emotions,feelingsandthoughtsarealso

invisibleandintangible.Infact,themostimportantwayinwhichwecanchangeourlifeisbyapproachingourinnerstatesinsuchawaythatwecanstarttocreatemuchabetterandbrighterpresentandfuture.

I’mgoingtointroduceyoutofivestepstolightenandbrightenyourlifeandmakeithappier,healthierandmoresuccessfulthanevenbeforethissituationarose.

Thinkaboutthetimeswhenyoutravelsomewhereforaholiday.Youdecidewhereyouwanttogo,checkwhatyouneedtoprepare,andbooktransportandhotels.Andthemoreyouthinkaboutandimagine

©Copyright2020 Yurina Shiraishi148

yourholidayspecifically,withyourfivesenses,themoreyouwillbeexcited,won'tyou?Andthatmakesyourjourneymoreenjoyableandevensmoother.

ThisisasimilarprocesstothestepsIamabouttointroduce.Youstarttoknowwhatyoureallywant,checktheresourcesyouhaveandwhatyouneedtoprepare,makeincreasinglyvividimagesandthentakeactiontowardsyourgoal.

OneofmyNLPstudents,Ken,isacompanyexecutiveinhis50s.HeexperiencedthedisastrousearthquakeinJapanin2011,inwhichwelostmorethan15,000lives.Fortunately,Kenandhisfamilysurvived,buttheirbeautifulhousewassweptawaybyahugetsunami.Sincethen,theyhavestruggledandworkedsohardtorebuildtheirlifetogether.

Afewyearslater,theyhadtofaceanotherchallenge.Kenwasdiagnosedwithstage-4cancerandwastoldthatheonlyhadthreemonthstolive.Thefamilyweredevastatedandfelthelpless.Butthen,Ken’swifesuggestedhefindoutaboutNLP,becauseshethoughtitmighthelphiscondition.

IntheprocessoflearningandapplyingNLP,herememberedhischildhooddream.Hewantedtodosomethingtohelpotherstosolvetheirproblemsandhaveabetterlife.Actually,hehadalwaysbeensupportive,andmanypeopleaskedhimforhisadvice.Hesaidinanexcitedvoice,"Ihaveforgottenaboutmydreamforsolong,becauseIhavebeensobusywithmanythings,butnowIremembermydreamandIreallywanttodosomethingaboutit,ifIcanlive.IfIhadn’tdevelopedcancer,Iwouldn’thaverememberedthis.So,nowIamevengratefulthatthishappenedtome."

Fivemonthsafterthediagnosis,hewasstillalive.Infact,hiscancerhaddisappeared.

Nowheishealthyandmakinghisdreamcometrue.

©Copyright2020 Yurina Shiraishi 149

5 STEPS TO LIGHTEN AND BRIGHTEN YOUR LIFE 1. Becomemoreawareofyourself.

Juststarttobreathedeeply.Severalthoughtsmightoccur,justacceptandrelease.Focusonyourbreathingforawhileandnoticehowyoufeel.

2. Setyourgoalanddirection.Likeplanningaholiday,it’simportanttodecidewhereyou’regoing.Todothat,answerthequestionsbelow.Youranswersshouldbepositive.(e.g.,notbecomesick=>stayhealthy)- Whatdoyouwant?- Whatkindofpersondoyouwanttobe?- Whatwouldyouliketodo?- Whatisthebestandidealoutcomefromthissituation?

3. Listyourresources.Therearetwotypesofresources-internalandexternal.Listasmanyasyoucan.- Internal(e.g.strength,skill,technique,knowledge,experience,

physicalcondition)- External(e.g.friends,family,pets,supporters,money,

property,environment,country)

4. Makeanimageofyourbestoutcome.Applyingallyourresources,makeanimageofyourbestfuture.Whatwillyousee,hear,feel,smell,taste?Andthenmaketheimageevenbetter(e.g.,bigger,brighter,lighterandnicerfeelings,sounds,voices,smells,tastes)

5. TakeactionWhatcanyoudotogetclosertoyourgoalormovetowardsyourdesireddirection?EvenasmallstepisOK.Juststartdoingitandcelebratewhatyouhaveaccomplished.Keeppracticingthisprocessanditwilltakeyoutofarbetterplacesthanyoumightexpect.

Youcansharethesestepswithyourfamily,friendsandcolleagues,andexploreoneanother’sresources,goalsanddirections.

©Copyright2020 Yurina Shiraishi150

AsKen’sstoryshows,adifficulttimeisactuallyagreatopportunitytoknowyourselfbetter,realizewhatyoureallywantandtheresourcesyouhaveavailabletoyou,internallyandexternally.Thatcouldmakeyourdirectionclearerandhelpyoutomovetowardsyourgoalwithfaithandresolution.

Dr.RichardBandlersays:“Thereareallkindsofthingswecandointhisworldtomakeitabetterplace,butwemuststartwithourselves.”

Justimaginewhattheworldwillbelikewheneverybodystartsdoingthis!

Ihopethatwhenallthisisover,wecansay:“Itwasanunprecedentedchallenge,andwecreatedanunprecedented,beautifulworld!”

Andyoucangetstartednow!

Thankyou.

YurinaShiraishiTheSocietyofNLPTMcertifiedNLPMasterTrainerJapanInstagram:yurinash21Facebook:yurina.shiraishi.7

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