Surrender: Relationship Fundamentals Text: 1 Peter 3:8-12

Care and Bridging Pastor Dan Slagle

1.   Share any experiences you may have had when, before becoming a Christian yourself, you encountered Christians not “practicing the fundamentals”.

a.   How did that affect your view of Christians and Christianity in general? b.   How does reflecting on those experiences and examining your life now challenge or

convict you?

2.   Read 1 Peter 3:8-17. In these verses, Peter lays out the fundamental practices for everyone who follows Jesus Christ. Take time to complete Pastor Dan’s challenge and answer the question: “Am I practicing the fundamentals?”

a.   Do a ruthless examination of your heart, your attitude, your behavior. Ask your spouse, your kids, or someone who knows you well for an honest assessment.

b.   Share with the group what you found out and any follow up steps that might be needed. For example, is there anyone in need of encouragement or to whom you need to confess and ask forgiveness?

c.   Do you need to prepare yourself to respond to others in new ways?

3.   The apostle John wrote the Gospel of John as a testimony of who Jesus is and what he accomplished in his life. Read John 13:34-45 where John tells us of Jesus’ command to love one another.

a.   In what ways have you seen or experienced Christians faithfully live out these instructions?

b.   How would you describe the impact that their lives had on others?

4.   Pastor Dan pointed out that Christians often want to move to other things and often neglect the fundamentals of loving people. We are not the first believers to struggle with this. The ancient church in Corinth had been blessed with a tremendous outpouring of the various spiritual gifts. The problem is that they had become prideful. Read 1 Corinthians 13.

 

 

a.   How does Paul address this issue? b.   What does this mean for us?

5.   Read 1 John 4:7-12. Before we can love others the way that Christ loved us, we must first

received the love that Christ extends to us. Do you believe this to be true? That you are loved unconditionally? How does this encourage you and spur you to love others?

Challenge: Think through all the circles of people in your life: family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, other parents you know through the activities your children are involved in. Who is someone that the Lord is putting on your heart to show Christ-like love to? How can you or your group step up to love that person in a practical way? Prayer: Our Father, today, we praise You with our whole heart. We will be glad and rejoice in You; we will sing praises to Your Name. We cry out with a loud voice, “Thanks be to our God.” Thank You for loving us unconditionally. Father, You have asked us to continue to love one another, for love comes from You. Thank You, Jesus, for giving Your life for ours. We were not worthy, yet, You made us worthy to love and know You. Today, we desire to love You with all of our hearts, souls, strength and minds, and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Holy Spirit, because God loves us so much, help us to love our neighbor. We have never seen God, but if we love each other, we know that God will live in us and His love will be brought to full expression in us. In this time of reflection and repentance, help us to let go of any bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, help us to be kind to all people, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven us. Lord, forgive us for not loving and caring for all people. Forgive us for not loving You with our whole hearts. Forgive us for holding grudges and remembering old debts. Forgive us for judging others before getting to know them. Forgive us for being proud, impatient, stubborn, rebellious, or jealous. Please forgive us for not forgiving other people. Remind us to forgive others; and we shall be quick to forgive.

Father we know that we cannot do it on our own. Fill us with your Holy Spirit and love for others. Thank you for loving us and calling us your own. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

 

STUDY DEEPER

The Best Friends Are Born for Adversity A friend loves at all times and a brother (or sister) is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17) So few of these kinds of relationships seem to exist in the world, even within churches. People like to get together and have casual fun, but walk (or run) away if a situation or friendship gets too difficult or might cost us too much. I wonder if many of us have lost sense of what true friendship is meant to be. How might this Proverb come alive again in the life of the church? “And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God,” — like Proverbs 17:17 — “righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’” (1 Corinthians 1:30–31) These thirteen words of wisdom in Proverbs are fulfilled and personified in the crucified Friend of sinners. Maybe we would begin building these types of friendships if we were able to see each other and our relationships through the lens of Christ. Before we could ever be a good friend, we had to be rescued from our sin. The perfect friend and brother, Jesus Christ, had to save us before we could even begin to love others like he loved us. We become blood relatives of sorts — blood-bought family — through the death and resurrection of this perfect friend and brother. The family of God runs deeper than our physical families because we are connected not simply by the blood pumping through our veins, but by the blood of Christ spilled on the cross. Perfect Love Personified We need to begin defining true friendship and brotherly love not by conforming to cultural expectations, but by looking at the face of Jesus and being changed to look and love more like him (2 Corinthians 3:18). When we look at Jesus, we find a friend who loves when we are unlovable, and a brother willing to die for us, even when we didn’t deserve it. We find and experience a love utterly unlike what we normally find in ourselves, in our own hearts. We can be such fickle friends, distancing ourselves from difficult people and situations. If someone seems too immature, too demanding, or too inconvenient, we bail. We find excuses (legitimate ones of course!) to distance ourselves from these kinds of friends. Yet, Jesus — the perfect, holy Son of God — went and hung out among wicked sinners who were extremely immature, difficult, and even dangerous (they crucified him!).

 

 

Jesus didn’t condone their sin, but he didn’t run from them because of it, either. Instead, he kept entering into the messiness of sinners as a faithful friend, a friend who loved at all times, no matter what they did to him, to his very last breath. An Unshakeable Family The body of Christ desperately needs brothers and sisters born for adversity, and yet they are sadly lacking in many churches. Shouldn’t the church be a place that builds itself up in love no matter the cost (Ephesians 4:16)? Convenient love is not found anywhere in the footnotes. Shouldn’t the church be a place where the children of God, purchased by the blood of Christ, gladly care for each other’s physical, spiritual, and emotional needs? Our churches should be places where friends move toward pain, suffering, and hardship in love, not away from it in selfish fear. Christ never gave up on us, despite all our sin. Therefore, we cannot give up on difficult people too easily or hold bitter grudges. The gospel families in our churches must commit to walk through the deep pain and sorrows of life together, to be there when things are hard. And stay when things get harder. The love of Christ should control us, helping us endure even when we are sinned against, being willing to lay down our lives for the sake of others, even those who have hurt us. The Holy Spirit still does this kind of work today, if we will look to Christ as our example of faithful friendship and trust him with the risk of being inconvenienced or getting hurt. Follow Jesus into Messy Friendships Jesus left the glory of his Father to enter into our mess. He died on a cross for our sins to win a family of brothers and sisters who would be willing to live for the glory of God, who would love each other enough to die for each other. We need to learn to see every friendship through the lens of the work of Christ on our behalf. To see that at the cross there is more than enough grace to cover a multitude of sins committed against us. To see the cross of Christ as the depth of suffering a perfect Brother was willing to endure. We need to remember a true brother moves closer when times get harder, and never leaves or forsakes a friend, even when the trial lasts a lifetime. Friendships like these help us be real with each other, admitting our weaknesses and taking off the Christian masks of “doing okay.” We don’t need to clean ourselves or our circumstances up in order to belong. We simply need Jesus to belong. And instead of running from the church when

 

 

things get hard, we can be eager to lean in with brothers and sisters around us, those who are eager to bear our burdens regardless of how heavy or hurtful they may become. No one is okay on their own. We all need true blood-bought friends, brothers and sisters born for adversity. http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-best-friends-are-born-for-adversity