summerguide- work in progress

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THE OFFICIAL GUIDE TO SUMMER MUSIC FESTIVALS 2015

Image via EDC Tumblr

Forget fall, brush off spring, and give winter the cold shoulder, because every betch knows that ‘tis the season to take molly. It’s the time of year dedicated to day drinking, scandalous outfit planning, and calling in sick. From Bonnaroo to Lollapalooza, summer 2015 has plenty in store. Start pretending you’re a hippie and grab the summer clothes from the back of your closet, because this festival season just might be better than the holidays. Although we’re super sad that we already missed Coachella, here are our 6 picks of the music festivals that anybody who’s anybody will be attending.

THIS SUMMER’S MUST-ATTEND MUSIC FESTIVALS

Electric Daisy Carnival � June 19-21 Las Vegas, NV Headliners: Alesso, Kaskade, Tiesto, Calvin Harris, Dada Life, Above & Beyond Firefly � June 18-21 � Dover, DE Headliners: Kings of Leon, The Killers, Morrissey, Snoop Dogg Lollapalooza � July 31-August 2 Chicago, IL Headliners: Paul McCartney, Metallica, Florence + The Machine, Sam Smith

Warped Tour � June 19-August 8 Across North America Headliners: Varies by city Moonrise Festival � August 8-9 Baltimore, MD Headliners: Bassnector, Dillon Francis, Above & Beyond, Cash Cash, Porter Robinson TomorrowWorld � September 25-27 Chattahoochee Hills, GA Headliners: All Gone Pete Tong, It’s a Trap!, ATL, Future House


�Fanny pack - Because the 90’s are always in style and it’s impossible to enjoy yourself while holding shit. �Metallic tattoos - Trust us, you will feel severely out of place if you don’t. �Hats - Bucket, snapback, floppy, whatever. If it blocks the sun you will be eternally grateful. �Supportive bikini tops - Because shirts are overrated and nip slips are unnecessary. �Selfie stick - It’s better than asking strangers to find the good lighting for you. Do it for the insta. �Portable phone charger - There’s nothing worse than killing your roll with the 5% blues. �Waterproof makeup - You will sweat, and you will be sprayed. By what, we can’t say, but it’s always good to give your face a firm shield. �SPF lip balm + sunscreen + bug spray - The only enemy fiercer than the burning sun is the biting mosquito. �Mini deodorant - Because other people smell bad enough, you don’t need to also. �Band-aids for blisters - No matter how comfy your neon kicks, you’re still going to get blisters. �Jewels + eyelash glue - This is your one chance to get blingy and be socially acceptable, and we suggest you take it. �Portable snacks - Fainting is only unsightly and embarrassing in front of thousands of people. �Kleenex packs - The port-a-potty will run out of toilet paper, and you will be laughing at all the losers in line. �A marker to identify your group - Whether it’s a whistle, bejeweled sign, or unsightly hand gesture, make sure you have something in place in order to find your friends. Just don’t lose your group. Don’t do it. �Cash - Two words: food trucks. �Baby powder - If you chafe, this is your holy water. �Durable phone case - You wouldn’t let your baby go on a roller coaster without a seatbelt on, would you? �Extra hair things - You don’t want to be asking a dirty stranger to borrow.

YOUR NOT-SO-AVERAGE FESTIVAL PACKING LIST By: Hannah Chubb


IS IT A SUMMER FLING, A FLOP OR FOREVER? (Answer: probably not forever.)

He’s the one who you stick around, drag to social gatherings, and advertise in all of your snap chat stories. If you could, you’d spend every day with him. But when your friends curiously pose the question: “So, what, are you guys dating?” you don’t exactly need Patti Stanger’s dating advice to know you’re probably kidding yourself. Because here’s the thing about summer: it’s drenched with noncommittal. That’s why people love it so much. However, that gets a little complicated when a guy steps into the picture. As we all know, people love to label things. Nerds, jocks, hipsters, gay, straight, the girls who eat their feelings. So of course they want to label a relationship. To be clear: the definition of “fling” is different for everyone and isn’t always a negative. Even so, it makes it easier to go on with your relationship if you yourself have come to terms with how you define it. So, is it a fling? If you only hang out at parties, concerts, or bars…he’s a fling. He’s constantly inviting you out, and the drinks are always on him. At first you think it’s sweet, until daylight comes around and you never hear from him again. If you never see him in the sunlight, either you’ve been swapping spit with a vampire, or he’s a fling. If you avoid talking future plans…he’s a fling. You don’t need Miss Cleo’s crystal ball to know there’s no future. If you don’t know his friends…he’s a fling. It’s not that he openly refuses to introduce you, but the subject never seems to come up. Or he doesn’t have any friends. We’re not sure which is worse. If you avoid letting him see you get emotional…he’s a fling. Even in this wonderful little world we call summer, bad things can happen. When “shit hits the fan,” you avoid telling him about it. It’s not that you’re embarrassed, the thought just never occurs. Your mindset is “He wouldn't care, it’s not his problem.” If he talks about other girls…he’s a fling. Sometimes it’s clear things have become too casual when he brings up the hot waitress at his favorite restaurant. Often times, a fling will come to you for advice on how to get a girl, without knowing it might affect you it a not-so-nice way. If he doesn’t treat you with respect… you get the picture. By: Mallory Arnold


How To Sweat-Proof Your Summer Look

We all have a love-hate-borderline-worshipping relationship with the summer sun. Who can complain about beach days, tanning, and an opportunity to wear basically nothing? But as the temperatures rise, makeup begins to melt. It took some research, but there are definitely ways to make it to 3pm without transforming into a raccoon. And we’re here to tell you what they are. Use a toner � If you have oily or combination skin, using a toner with salicylic acid after washing your face will clean your pores without drying out your skin too much, helping you minimize or reduce breakouts and clogged pores. Moisturize with SPF � Need I say it? Cancer isn’t chic. Most moisturizers will offer some SPF protection, so be sure to lather on some form of sunscreen to keep your skin from becoming leather. Use a primer � A BB cream will also work well as a lighter cover. The primer will bind your foundation to your skin, sealing in your look. You can also use a primer on your eyelids if you’re using eye shadow. Set with mineral powder � Get rid of shine by dusting mineral powder over your foundation. This will give you a finished look, and help to absorb any excess moisture on your skin. Finish using a makeup setting spray � A setting spray is the finishing touch that will lock in your look. It will prevent makeup from fading, melting, or creasing, even after a few hours in heat. Use waterproof mascara and eyeliner � You don’t need to splurge on mascara, just buy the waterproof variety of your favorite brand. It will stay in place all day without streaking. Carry blotting papers � If all else fails, blotting papers will be your best friends this summer. They erase any extra shine while leaving your makeup in place. So go forth, betches, and enjoy your summer looks, without the shine of sweat. By: Annie Rubin


Bikini Waxes Are The Least Fun A Girl Has Naked Summer: the season of sunglasses, sundresses and sex in the sun. Do you know what all of those have in common? They are all made much less attractive when excess body hair is involved. Every girl knows by her 15th birthday that waxing is the best and the worst pain of being a woman in the western world. It’s like losing those last couple of pounds, or getting ready for the bar: it fucking sucks until you get the final product, then nothing (and I mean, not even that guy ignoring your text) can bring you down. Why do we do it? No one knows. Not even your mom. Especially not the guy you’re hooking up with, because he actually really enjoys your body in the state it was in when you were a child. He’s not about to explain why and you’re not about to ask. But really, why waxing as oppose to shaving? There are other, less terrifying ways to rid your body of the absolutely useless hair. But all betches know everything but waxing is a waste of time. It lasts longer, it makes us as smooth as we were straight out of the womb, and tbh, the adrenaline from ripping little hairs out of our body beats our venti Americano any day. Your expectation is that you have a waxist who also happens to be your BFF. The reality? You only had a ten-minute break from work and you found the closest salon. The wax is hot as hell. The staggering pain that comes from millions of your hairs being pulled out of your body ALL AT ONCE makes you want to transport your body to that weird 3-dimensional wonderland Matthew McConaughey ends up at in that fucked up space movie. The weirdest part is that you smile through your tightlipped grimace, thank the wax lady for basically ruining your day and then pay her a ridiculous amount for her services. Ugh, I need a drink just thinking about it. Like they always say: no risk, no reward. You got rid of that soul patch you’ve been rocking as protection from the winter cold and you are good to go. Every post-wax betch has considered wearing their bodysuit sans pants to the bar, Miley style. And why wouldn’t you? The WORLD has to appreciate the new clean beauty In short – waxes suck the MOST, but we adore them. If you haven’t taken this risk, and you’ve never reaped this reward, you are not a true betch. Report back when you have lost your wax-inity. Happy bikini (wax) season! By: Meghan Collie


SIX STEPS TO SKINNY WITHOUT STEPPING FOOT IN A GYM Before we get into how exactly you’re going to sweat out that freshman 15 this summer, it’s important to keep in mind that staying in shape this summer can be rewarding for both your mental and physical health. But mostly for your waistline, because no one actually goes to the beach to see a whale. 1. Be “Spiritual”

Teach yourself yoga. Yoga is a fantastic way to begin a workout because it prepares your body both mentally and physically. Stretching can make all the difference with flexibility and reducing muscle pain. Plus, you can easily do yoga at home, meaning no yoga class snobs critiquing your down dog.

2. Social Workouts

Try getting some of your guy friends to play a sport with you. They probably won’t, but it’s fun to pretend. Competition is always good motivation.

3. Go clubbing

Dancing with your besties at a club can actually be a great workout. But this is where a true test of your discipline comes into play. Remember, only vodka soda to keep calories down.

4. Try something new

Try something spontaneous like white water rafting or rock climbing. Just a few hours of white water rafting could burn over 300 calories per hour on average, and that pretty much involves just sitting in a raft.

5. Work out during commercials

No need to leave the house. Do as many crunches and push ups you can do before your show comes back on, or see if you can do wall sits while brushing your teeth every day. Try using that 2L of Diet Coke as a free weight instead of drinking it... no pain no gain, right?

6. Destination workouts Hiking works your glutes, quadriceps, hamstrings, calves, abdominals, obliques, and lower back. Go hiking with friends or on a date. You could rock some cute work out clothes, watch the sunset, and then insta it for all your worthy followers #fitlife.

By: Rachel Connell


FOUR POPTAILS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR SUMMER

Instead of the classic mixed drink, who says you can't kick it up a notch and get your buzz from popsicles? So don't be the boring friend who brings the six-pack of Coronas this summer.

French 75 • 12 oz. Of your favorite champagne • 4 oz. Of your favorite gin • 4 oz. Simple syrup (can be bought in stores or recipes found online) • 3 oz. Fresh squeezed lemon juice

Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Pour into popsicle molds and freeze.

Winesicles

• 1 cup sliced strawberries, ½ cup blueberries, ½ cup red raspberries • 1 bottle of your favorite fruity red wine • 1 cup lemon lime soda, 1 cup orange juice • 1 shot brandy

In a blender mix strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. In a bowl, whisk together the berry puree with all of the liquid ingredients. Pour into popsicle mold and freeze.

Tipsy Tequila Sunrise

• 2 cups pineapple juice • 1 pound pineapple: peeled and pureed • ¾ cup tequila (gold or silver) • ¼ cup grenadine

Mix all of the ingredients except the grenadine. Pour the mixture into the popsicle mold. Leave room at the top for one teaspoon of grenadine. Add the grenadine, freeze and enjoy.

Peach Sangria Poptail

• 1 cup white wine, 3 tablespoons Grand Marnier (or substitute with orange liqueur)

• 2/3 cup peach juice, 1 Tablespoon freshly squeezed lime juice • ¼ cup club soda • 1 and 1/3 cups diced peaches and strawberries Put diced fruit into popsicle molds. Mix all liquid ingredients together and pour over diced fruit. Freeze and get drunk!

By: Molly Krause

summerguide- work in progress

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