subtitle glee 04x16
TRANSCRIPT
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1
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(crying)
Emma, stop, stop, stop.
2
00:00:06,915 --> 00:00:09,900
Emma's left the building.
3
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:14,688
She say anything about me?
4
00:00:14,706 --> 00:00:17,708
- No, why would she?
- Because I kissed her.
5
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,879
(school bell ringing)
ARTIE: Mr. Shue, Finn,
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thank you for agreeing
to this sit-down.
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7
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We've all noticed the tension
between you ever since Finn
8
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,503
admitted he kissed
Miss Pillsbury.
9
00:00:29,537 --> 00:00:31,055
Sorry I'm late.
Huge line up at the Lima Bean,
10
00:00:31,089 --> 00:00:34,374
but here are the lattes that
Mr. Shue made me get everybody.
11
00:00:34,393 --> 00:00:37,678
Um, I asked for two pumps
of mocha, Finn.
12
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00:00:37,712 --> 00:00:40,314
I taste three. Take 'em back.
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All of them.
14
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I'm sorry, Mr. Shue, but all
I did was pick up the vests.
15
00:00:45,404 --> 00:00:47,321
- I didn't...
- What's most upsetting is you actually think
16
00:00:47,355 --> 00:00:48,722
these vests are clean,
17
00:00:48,740 --> 00:00:52,660
that it's okay
to turn in subpar work.
18
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00:00:52,694 --> 00:00:54,361
No surprise.
Finn has been acting
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00:00:54,396 --> 00:00:56,063
like he's losing his mind.
20
00:00:56,081 --> 00:00:57,731
Great job, Ryder!
See that, guys?
21
00:00:57,749 --> 00:01:00,234
Prowess on the football field
and a terrific singing voice
22
00:01:00,252 --> 00:01:03,170
- are not mutually exclusive.
- I can't take it anymore!
23
00:01:03,205 --> 00:01:05,673
Okay, it's bad enough you're
treating me like your lackey,
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24
00:01:05,707 --> 00:01:08,092
but I'm not gonna sit here
while you fake-compliment Ryder
25
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just to hurt me!
26
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(school bell ringing) You're feuding.
And it needs to stop.
27
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Seriously. It's like
Hatfields and McCoys in here.
28
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So epic musical feuds
is our theme.
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And for the first time in Glee
Club history, we are giving you
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our fearless leaders,
an assignment.
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You two will explore
and resolve your differences
32
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by performing a song together
33
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inspired
by a classic musical rivalry.
34
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- Guys...
- Regionals are coming up,
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35
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Mr. Shue, and if we're gonna
have any chance of winning,
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we need both of you.
37
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On the same page and
on the same team.
38
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Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
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(sighs)
40
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False alarm.
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41
00:01:53,788 --> 00:01:55,756
Thank God. I'm so happy.
42
00:01:55,790 --> 00:01:57,424
I'm so glad
this is all over with.
43
00:01:57,458 --> 00:02:00,761
Thank you
for taking me here today.
44
00:02:00,795 --> 00:02:02,462
All right,
I'm gonna go to class.
45
00:02:02,481 --> 00:02:05,232
Whoa, hey. That's it?
46
00:02:05,267 --> 00:02:07,234
That's all you have
to say about this?
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47
00:02:07,269 --> 00:02:10,137
Well, the doctor gave me the
all-clear. What else is there?
48
00:02:10,155 --> 00:02:13,324
Rachel, you can't just blow past
this like nothing ever happened.
49
00:02:14,826 --> 00:02:16,810
This is a wake-up call.
This is an opportunity
50
00:02:16,828 --> 00:02:18,812
for you to take a hard look
at the choices
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that you're making,
where your life is heading.
52
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00:02:22,284 --> 00:02:24,668
Starting with Donkey Face.
53
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Hey, I'm Dallas.
What's your name?
54
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Uh, Gunnar.
55
00:02:37,966 --> 00:02:38,933
(chuckles) Dude, relax.
56
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I've seen you here
the past few weeks.
57
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Look around.
We're not exactly alone.
58
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00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,858
Look, this isn't a
real thing for me, okay?
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It's... I need it
for my tuition, you know?
60
00:02:51,813 --> 00:02:55,950
Hey, man, I'm sure everyone
has a legit reason to be here.
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Speaking of.
We'll talk about it.
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("How to be a Heartbreaker" by
Marina and the Diamonds plays)
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Rule number one
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Is that you gotta have fun
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But, baby, when you're done
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You gotta be
the first to run
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Rule number two
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Just don't get
attached to...
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Somebody you could lose
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70
00:03:35,857 --> 00:03:39,410
So le-let me tell you
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This is how
to be a heartbreaker
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Boys... they like
a little danger
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We'll get him falling
for a stranger, a player
74
00:03:50,205 --> 00:03:53,841
Singing "I lo-lo-love you"
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At least I think I do.
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76
00:03:55,877 --> 00:03:59,847
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
77
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Ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
78
00:04:02,717 --> 00:04:04,768
'Cause I lo-lo-love you
79
00:04:06,554 --> 00:04:14,445
Girls... we do
whatever it will take
80
00:04:14,479 --> 00:04:17,898
'Cause girls don't want
81
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We don't want our hearts
to break... in two
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82
00:04:24,789 --> 00:04:28,459
So it's better to be fake
83
00:04:28,493 --> 00:04:34,331
Can't risk losing
in love again, babe
84
00:04:40,255 --> 00:04:44,624
This is how
to be a heartbreaker
85
00:04:44,643 --> 00:04:47,127
Boys... they like
a little danger
86
00:04:47,145 --> 00:04:51,932
We'll get him falling
for a stranger, a player
87
00:04:51,966 --> 00:04:54,935
Singing "I lo-lo-love you"
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88
00:04:54,969 --> 00:04:57,905
How to be a heartbreaker
89
00:04:57,939 --> 00:05:01,275
Boys... they like the look
of danger
90
00:05:01,309 --> 00:05:05,746
We'll get him falling
for a stranger, a player
91
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:07,314
Singing I lo-lo-love you
92
00:05:07,332 --> 00:05:09,416
At least I think I do
93
00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:13,253
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
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94
00:05:13,288 --> 00:05:16,240
Ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
95
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Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
96
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'Cause I lo-lo-love you.
97
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At least I think I do.
98
00:05:26,301 --> 00:05:28,702
You know
we only take cash, right?
99
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(bell ringing)
100
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00:05:36,511 --> 00:05:38,862
Young Burt Reynolds,
may I gently remind you
101
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that on Wednesday, December 5,
you joined the Cheerios!
102
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But you've been conspicuously
absent from practice
103
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since Thursday, December 6.
104
00:05:47,489 --> 00:05:49,840
We've told you,
we only joined for a day
105
00:05:49,874 --> 00:05:51,625
when we thought
Glee Club was disbanding.
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106
00:05:51,659 --> 00:05:54,461
And yet you signed
this legally binding contract
107
00:05:54,496 --> 00:05:59,967
that clearly states
on page 43, paragraph 7C-9:
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"Blaine Devon Anderson will
provide said Cheerios! duty
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00:06:03,171 --> 00:06:05,789
"at any and all pep rallies,
assemblies, town meetings,
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00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,475
"state fairs, concerts,
television programs,
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00:06:08,510 --> 00:06:10,177
"motion pictures, video games,
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Republican national
conventions..."
113
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,147
I never signed that.
114
00:06:13,181 --> 00:06:16,850
Well, that's funny, because
your signature says you did.
115
00:06:17,902 --> 00:06:19,737
- That's a forgery.
- And you can't prove that.
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I probably could.
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00:06:20,855 --> 00:06:23,157
Cheerios! Regionals
is fast approaching,
118
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and I need a shiny,
sexually non-threatening gay
119
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,994
to hoist up some
of the most gorgeous girls
120
00:06:27,028 --> 00:06:28,529
in America over his head,
121
00:06:28,563 --> 00:06:31,331
have a bird's-eye view
of their baby oven,
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00:06:31,366 --> 00:06:33,333
and not be even remotely
interested.
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123
00:06:33,368 --> 00:06:34,835
And that would be you.
124
00:06:34,869 --> 00:06:37,904
Thank you, but I'm just
too busy with Glee Club
125
00:06:37,922 --> 00:06:39,506
and Student Council.
126
00:06:39,541 --> 00:06:41,842
If you need me back,
I guess I could do it.
127
00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:43,610
Why are you even here?
128
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You called me out of class.
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129
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,163
You're dismissed.
130
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Go find a new boyfriend.
131
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Maybe Lance Bass is available.
132
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,185
Or RuPaul.
133
00:06:51,219 --> 00:06:52,186
Suit up, soldier.
134
00:06:52,220 --> 00:06:53,687
I'll help you put it on.
135
00:06:53,721 --> 00:06:56,356
No, thank you, Becky. I'm-I'm
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not rejoining the Cheerios!
136
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Oh, you most certainly are.
137
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,244
Or something very unfortunate
will most likely
138
00:07:00,278 --> 00:07:03,263
be happening to you
extremely soon.
139
00:07:03,281 --> 00:07:05,182
Are you threatening me?
140
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,450
Uh, yeah!
141
00:07:06,484 --> 00:07:08,285
Get moving, beeyatch!
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142
00:07:12,824 --> 00:07:16,877
Last questions:
Bear versus shark?
143
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KATIE:
Bear.
144
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,380
Onion rings versus
French fries?
145
00:07:20,415 --> 00:07:22,616
KATIE: French fries are
the world's best food.
146
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,485
There's nothing
you could put up
147
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00:07:24,519 --> 00:07:26,186
against French fries
that could win.
148
00:07:33,144 --> 00:07:34,261
I swear those are all
149
00:07:34,295 --> 00:07:36,096
the exact same answers
I would have given.
150
00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:37,314
KATIE:
Soul mates!
151
00:07:37,348 --> 00:07:39,633
I can't believe we've only
known each other for a week.
152
00:07:41,269 --> 00:07:44,655
And I'm so glad you can look
beyond my spelling mistakes.
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153
00:07:44,689 --> 00:07:45,772
(both chuckle)
154
00:07:45,806 --> 00:07:47,741
It feels like so much more
than that, though.
155
00:07:47,775 --> 00:07:50,143
I mean, in a week,
I feel like I've told you
156
00:07:50,161 --> 00:07:52,513
more than I've told to anyone
else in my entire life.
157
00:07:52,547 --> 00:07:54,481
Uh, yeah. No. Me, too.
158
00:07:54,499 --> 00:07:56,650
You even know
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about my Star Wars sheets.
159
00:07:56,668 --> 00:07:58,235
(Katie laughs)
160
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,270
Anything interesting
happening at school today?
161
00:08:02,123 --> 00:08:03,841
You could say that...
162
00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:04,875
Hello, poser.
163
00:08:06,494 --> 00:08:07,761
Say what?
164
00:08:07,795 --> 00:08:09,829
Say what a jerk-knuckle you are
for messing with my girl
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165
00:08:09,848 --> 00:08:12,099
and putting that big old
square head in her face.
166
00:08:12,133 --> 00:08:14,184
Marley likes Jake.
167
00:08:14,219 --> 00:08:16,603
And we in Glee Club
like that two-for-one combo.
168
00:08:16,638 --> 00:08:18,372
This is kind of none
of your business.
169
00:08:18,406 --> 00:08:20,190
Did you not notice that I'm
sitting on different sides
170
00:08:20,225 --> 00:08:21,841
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of the choir room.
He won't speak to her.
171
00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:23,277
Dude, back off.
172
00:08:23,311 --> 00:08:25,362
Who are you calling a dude?
I am no dude.
173
00:08:25,396 --> 00:08:28,649
- So what are you then?
- I am a proud black woman.
174
00:08:30,318 --> 00:08:31,902
No, you're a dude.
175
00:08:33,488 --> 00:08:35,272
He was way out of line.
176
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,791
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KATIE: Didn't you tell me it
was Feud Week in Glee Club?
177
00:08:37,825 --> 00:08:39,793
Well, get your aggression
out through song.
178
00:08:39,827 --> 00:08:41,128
Challenge him to a duel.
179
00:08:41,162 --> 00:08:44,298
Has anyone ever told you
you're kind of a genius?
180
00:08:44,332 --> 00:08:47,367
KATIE (chuckles):
Later, baby.
181
00:08:49,604 --> 00:08:50,554
(bell ringing)
182
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00:08:50,588 --> 00:08:51,838
(Will claps hands once)
183
00:08:51,872 --> 00:08:53,540
We need
to do something muscular,
184
00:08:53,558 --> 00:08:56,143
like Biggie versus Tupac.
Now, we know how that ended.
185
00:08:56,177 --> 00:09:00,647
Look, we don't need to do this
stupid assignment, Mr. Shue.
186
00:09:00,682 --> 00:09:02,649
Don't act like you're above
these kids, Finn.
187
00:09:02,684 --> 00:09:04,685
Not that long ago,
you were one of them.
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188
00:09:04,719 --> 00:09:06,303
We can just talk.
189
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,690
(chuckles) Unless you have
some stunning new revelation
190
00:09:09,724 --> 00:09:12,075
about why you kissed
my bride-to-be,
191
00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:15,362
I've already heard everything
you have to say.
192
00:09:15,396 --> 00:09:18,615
Besides, I don't think
you could take it.
193
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:22,402
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I can take it.
194
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:23,737
Okay.
195
00:09:28,126 --> 00:09:30,594
I put you in charge
of the Glee Club, Finn...
196
00:09:30,628 --> 00:09:33,547
not because you were
a national champion
197
00:09:33,581 --> 00:09:35,182
and not because
you were qualified
198
00:09:35,216 --> 00:09:36,750
with something
like a teaching degree,
199
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00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:38,585
or even a single college credit,
200
00:09:38,603 --> 00:09:39,853
for that matter.
201
00:09:39,887 --> 00:09:41,755
I gave you the Glee Club
because you were lost;
202
00:09:41,773 --> 00:09:43,757
You just got dumped
by your girlfriend;
203
00:09:43,775 --> 00:09:45,192
You flunked out of the army;
204
00:09:45,226 --> 00:09:48,261
And the real truth is
I just took pity on you.
205
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00:09:48,279 --> 00:09:50,297
Wow.
206
00:09:50,331 --> 00:09:52,599
Yeah. You wanted to talk.
207
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:54,267
Yeah, I did,
but I didn't think...
208
00:09:54,285 --> 00:09:56,403
So I put all this trust in you
209
00:09:56,437 --> 00:09:58,772
so that you can get back
on your feet,
210
00:09:58,790 --> 00:09:59,906
and what do you do?
211
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:02,776
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You betray me
in the worst way possible.
212
00:10:03,795 --> 00:10:05,862
You broke the code
of a brother, Finn.
213
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,799
I know that.
And I'm so sorry.
214
00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:10,550
Sorry's not gonna cut it.
215
00:10:10,585 --> 00:10:14,137
So start thinking of some
of the nastiest music feuds
216
00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:15,589
you can come up with
217
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00:10:15,623 --> 00:10:18,158
because we are doing
this assignment.
218
00:10:18,192 --> 00:10:20,844
And I'm gonna kick your ass.
219
00:10:31,437 --> 00:10:33,571
Well, well, well, I see
220
00:10:33,606 --> 00:10:35,490
that of Donkey Face's crap
is still here.
221
00:10:35,524 --> 00:10:37,075
And if Donkey Face's crap
is here,
222
00:10:37,109 --> 00:10:38,910
then that means that
he must be as well.
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223
00:10:38,944 --> 00:10:40,361
Lay off of it,
Santana, all right?
224
00:10:40,395 --> 00:10:42,897
I told you, he said
that he got a job
225
00:10:42,915 --> 00:10:44,499
as a cater waiter on the side,
226
00:10:44,533 --> 00:10:46,567
and he was embarrassed about it,
so he kept it a secret.
227
00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:48,586
Why? I mean, if he can
make that much cash
228
00:10:48,621 --> 00:10:50,905
slinging sweaty cold cuts
-
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229
00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:53,574
and room temp champagne,
then we should all apply there.
230
00:10:53,592 --> 00:10:55,543
Hey, look, he's just trying
to make it in New York
231
00:10:55,577 --> 00:10:57,411
the same way that you and I are.
232
00:10:57,429 --> 00:10:59,430
I don't why that is so hard
for you to understand.
233
00:10:59,465 --> 00:11:01,299
You keep trying
to bring him down.
234
00:11:03,418 --> 00:11:06,387
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Look, at this point it's less
about him than it is about you.
235
00:11:06,421 --> 00:11:08,056
I went to school
with Rachel Berry.
236
00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:11,059
Not the soggy mess of a woman
that stands before me today,
237
00:11:11,093 --> 00:11:13,611
going back and forth between
your flop high school ex
238
00:11:13,646 --> 00:11:16,597
and that terrifying
"waiter with a pager."
239
00:11:18,984 --> 00:11:21,035
You need to stop
and focus, Berry.
-
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240
00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:22,403
I think you're wrong about him.
241
00:11:22,437 --> 00:11:25,707
My psychic Mexican third eye
is never wrong.
242
00:11:25,741 --> 00:11:27,742
Am I wrong about you?
243
00:11:32,631 --> 00:11:35,616
BRODY:
Oh, so typical
244
00:11:35,634 --> 00:11:38,586
I'm the type
who will get so critical
245
00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:41,422
So let's make
-
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246
00:11:41,456 --> 00:11:42,924
Things physical
247
00:11:42,958 --> 00:11:45,626
I won't treat you
like you're oh, so typical
248
00:11:45,644 --> 00:11:47,645
(school bell rings)
249
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,480
(knocks on window) You!
250
00:11:49,515 --> 00:11:50,982
I know you're behind this.
251
00:11:51,016 --> 00:11:54,485
Sorry I yelled,
Gay Blaine, here.
-
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252
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,155
Oh, Cover Boy hair gel.
253
00:11:57,189 --> 00:11:58,306
This is really expensive.
254
00:11:58,324 --> 00:11:59,607
Thanks, Becky.
255
00:11:59,641 --> 00:12:01,442
It's cement.
256
00:12:01,476 --> 00:12:02,577
(thuds)
257
00:12:02,611 --> 00:12:04,245
And someone took out
30 credit cards
258
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,080
-
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and a house loan in my name.
259
00:12:06,115 --> 00:12:09,117
My identity's been stolen.
My parents' credit is ruined.
260
00:12:09,151 --> 00:12:10,668
Only for seven years.
261
00:12:10,703 --> 00:12:12,620
But that sign.
262
00:12:12,654 --> 00:12:13,955
That sign!
263
00:12:13,989 --> 00:12:15,990
(laughter)
264
00:12:19,328 --> 00:12:21,095
Come on.
-
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265
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:23,464
That's completely inexcusable.
266
00:12:23,498 --> 00:12:25,016
And it's not true.
267
00:12:25,050 --> 00:12:27,635
Not really... this officially
a feud between you and me.
268
00:12:27,669 --> 00:12:29,187
And there's only one way
to solve it.
269
00:12:29,221 --> 00:12:32,307
A sing-off featuring the music
of two feuding superstars?
270
00:12:32,341 --> 00:12:34,192
Oh, I read all about it
-
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271
00:12:34,226 --> 00:12:36,110
in WhoGivesACrap.biz.
272
00:12:36,145 --> 00:12:38,980
Fine. Nicki Minaj
versus Mariah Carey.
273
00:12:39,014 --> 00:12:40,315
I will sing Nicki,
274
00:12:40,349 --> 00:12:41,983
due to my Trinidad roots.
275
00:12:42,017 --> 00:12:43,451
And if you win the challenge,
276
00:12:43,485 --> 00:12:45,436
I'll tear up your
Cheerios! contract.
277
-
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00:12:45,471 --> 00:12:46,621
Fine, perfect.
278
00:12:46,655 --> 00:12:48,640
But that will never,
ever happen
279
00:12:48,691 --> 00:12:50,608
because you are looking
into the face of...
280
00:12:50,643 --> 00:12:52,259
Evil.
281
00:12:52,278 --> 00:12:53,995
I was going to say
high school cheerleading
282
00:12:54,029 --> 00:12:56,698
national champion,
but thank you.
-
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283
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,032
(school bell rings)
284
00:12:59,702 --> 00:13:01,619
(sighs)
285
00:13:01,654 --> 00:13:03,955
I don't think it's fair that
you're pissed at me about this.
286
00:13:03,989 --> 00:13:06,607
I didn't do anything.
287
00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:08,126
You let him kiss you.
288
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,211
What was I supposed to do?
289
00:13:10,245 --> 00:13:12,279
-
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It's not like he took
a running start.
290
00:13:12,298 --> 00:13:13,464
You're supposed
to not let him think
291
00:13:13,499 --> 00:13:14,949
that it was even a possibility.
292
00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:17,585
Fine, I'll own that.
293
00:13:19,004 --> 00:13:20,338
I haven't minded the fact
294
00:13:20,389 --> 00:13:21,639
that both of you are into me.
295
00:13:21,674 --> 00:13:23,474
And I certainly
-
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didn't discourage him,
296
00:13:23,509 --> 00:13:24,642
which wasn't fair to him
297
00:13:24,677 --> 00:13:26,177
or to you.
298
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:28,980
But are you telling me
that you've
299
00:13:29,014 --> 00:13:31,465
completely stopped flirting
with other girls?
300
00:13:31,483 --> 00:13:32,967
I would never do anything.
301
00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:35,236
So if some Cheerio you're
-
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uncontrollably flirting with
302
00:13:35,270 --> 00:13:36,971
suddenly decides to kiss you,
you're just gonna
303
00:13:36,989 --> 00:13:39,324
backflip out of the way
before her lips
304
00:13:39,358 --> 00:13:41,576
touch yours?
305
00:13:41,610 --> 00:13:43,144
(both laugh)
306
00:13:43,162 --> 00:13:45,663
So what are we even
talking about here?
307
00:13:45,698 --> 00:13:48,583
-
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Are you seriously worried that
I'm gonna leave you for Ryder?
308
00:13:49,618 --> 00:13:51,986
I don't know.
I mean, he kicked butt
309
00:13:52,004 --> 00:13:53,204
with all this
Valentine's Day stuff
310
00:13:53,255 --> 00:13:55,173
and he's like two inches taller
than what I am.
311
00:13:55,207 --> 00:13:56,424
(laughs):
I'm not.
312
00:13:56,458 --> 00:13:57,542
I won't.
-
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313
00:13:58,711 --> 00:14:01,512
I love you
and that means something to me.
314
00:14:01,547 --> 00:14:03,348
It's not just words.
315
00:14:03,382 --> 00:14:06,601
Well, are you afraid that
I'm gonna leave you for someone?
316
00:14:06,635 --> 00:14:08,519
Not as much anymore.
317
00:14:08,554 --> 00:14:10,888
Good.
318
00:14:10,939 --> 00:14:13,391
Because it's me and you
against the world.
-
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319
00:14:14,643 --> 00:14:15,860
Especially Ryder.
320
00:14:15,894 --> 00:14:18,112
I mean, I thought he was
a good dude, but...
321
00:14:18,147 --> 00:14:19,447
he's not a friend.
322
00:14:19,481 --> 00:14:20,948
You need to ice him out.
323
00:14:20,983 --> 00:14:22,283
I can't do that.
324
00:14:23,152 --> 00:14:25,036
I mean, you can stay mad at him
325
00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:27,622
-
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if you want, but I have
to be more forgiving.
326
00:14:27,656 --> 00:14:28,906
How can you do that to me?
327
00:14:28,957 --> 00:14:30,691
It's gonna tick me off
every time I see you
328
00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:32,577
talking to him.
Do you trust me?
329
00:14:32,628 --> 00:14:34,629
Do you believe that I love you?
330
00:14:34,663 --> 00:14:36,964
Yes, but...
331
00:14:36,999 --> 00:14:38,633
-
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Then it doesn't matter
who I talk to.
332
00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:41,052
Because no matter
where I am or what I'm doing,
333
00:14:41,086 --> 00:14:43,554
I'm with you.
334
00:14:48,594 --> 00:14:51,229
(school bell rings)
335
00:14:51,263 --> 00:14:55,933
(Elton John's "The Bitch Is Back" and
Madonna's "Dress You Up" mashup begins)
336
00:15:03,609 --> 00:15:05,576
I was justified
337
00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:07,245
-
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When I was five
338
00:15:07,279 --> 00:15:08,579
Raising Cain
339
00:15:08,614 --> 00:15:10,998
I spit in your eye
340
00:15:11,033 --> 00:15:12,233
Times are changing
341
00:15:12,251 --> 00:15:13,584
Now the poor get fat
342
00:15:13,619 --> 00:15:15,336
But the fever's
gonna catch you
343
00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:17,922
When the bitch gets back
-
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344
00:15:17,956 --> 00:15:20,291
I'm gonna dress you up in
my love
In my love
345
00:15:20,342 --> 00:15:21,959
All over, all over
346
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:24,345
All over your body
347
00:15:24,379 --> 00:15:26,914
Gonna dress you up
in my love
348
00:15:26,932 --> 00:15:30,518
All over your body,
all over your body
349
00:15:30,552 --> 00:15:33,420
Eat meat on a Friday,
-
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that's all right
350
00:15:33,439 --> 00:15:37,108
I even like steak
on a Saturday night
351
00:15:37,142 --> 00:15:39,944
I can bitch the best
at your social dues
352
00:15:39,978 --> 00:15:42,864
I get high in the evening,
sniffing pots of glue
353
00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:45,450
I'm gonna dress you up
in my love
354
00:15:45,484 --> 00:15:46,617
In my love
355
-
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00:15:46,652 --> 00:15:48,536
All over, all over
356
00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:49,537
The bitch is back
357
00:15:49,571 --> 00:15:50,872
Gonna dress you up
358
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,123
In my love
359
00:15:52,157 --> 00:15:54,959
In my love,
all over, all over
360
00:15:54,993 --> 00:15:56,110
From your head
down to your toes
361
00:15:56,128 --> 00:15:59,464
-
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I entertain
by picking brains
362
00:15:59,498 --> 00:16:01,448
My love I sell my soul
363
00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,617
By dropping names
364
00:16:03,635 --> 00:16:04,618
You don't like those,
my God
365
00:16:04,636 --> 00:16:06,337
In my love What's that
366
00:16:06,388 --> 00:16:07,955
Oh, it's full
of nasty habits
367
00:16:07,973 --> 00:16:10,475
-
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When the bitch gets back
368
00:16:10,509 --> 00:16:12,510
Oh, yeah
369
00:16:21,487 --> 00:16:23,821
Oh, I'll dress you up
370
00:16:23,856 --> 00:16:26,473
Dress you up in my love,
in my love
371
00:16:26,492 --> 00:16:27,575
All over, all over
372
00:16:27,609 --> 00:16:29,911
In my love
373
00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:31,579
Gonna dress you up
in my love
-
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374
00:16:31,613 --> 00:16:32,663
Gonna dress you up
in my love
375
00:16:32,698 --> 00:16:34,499
All over your body
376
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:35,500
Oh, whoa, oh, oh
377
00:16:35,534 --> 00:16:37,668
Gonna dress you up
in my love
378
00:16:37,703 --> 00:16:40,338
Dress you up in my love
379
00:16:40,372 --> 00:16:42,507
Gonna dress you up
in my love
-
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380
00:16:42,541 --> 00:16:44,425
Gonna dress
you up in my love
381
00:16:44,459 --> 00:16:46,327
In my love
382
00:16:46,345 --> 00:16:47,178
All over your body
383
00:16:47,212 --> 00:16:48,513
In my love
384
00:16:48,547 --> 00:16:51,098
Gonna dress you up
in my love
385
00:16:51,133 --> 00:16:53,684
The bitch is back
-
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386
00:16:56,638 --> 00:16:58,505
WILL:
Yeah!
387
00:16:58,524 --> 00:17:00,358
Wow, guys, that was incredible.
388
00:17:00,392 --> 00:17:02,009
What inspired that mashup?
389
00:17:02,027 --> 00:17:03,510
I mean, the thing was feuds
so we just...
390
00:17:03,529 --> 00:17:05,512
So Unique demanded mediation.
391
00:17:05,531 --> 00:17:08,616
Might I suggest doing an
Elton John/Madonna mashup?
-
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392
00:17:08,650 --> 00:17:10,401
Madonna finally forgave
Elton John for calling her
393
00:17:10,452 --> 00:17:11,452
"a fairground stripper"
394
00:17:11,486 --> 00:17:13,354
and saying that
her career was over,
395
00:17:13,372 --> 00:17:15,623
but their decade-long
feud was epic.
396
00:17:15,657 --> 00:17:18,292
Unique is, was, and ever
shall be Madonna.
397
00:17:18,327 --> 00:17:19,293
(laughs)
-
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398
00:17:19,328 --> 00:17:21,546
He can try
to be Sir Elton, but...
399
00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:23,014
you ain't got it.
400
00:17:23,048 --> 00:17:25,466
Well, the awesome things
about feuds is
401
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,552
that once all the anger
has gotten out,
402
00:17:27,586 --> 00:17:30,054
you can shake on it and
let bygones be bygones.
403
00:17:30,088 --> 00:17:33,040
-
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Unique would happily shake
Ryder's hand, but first...
404
00:17:33,058 --> 00:17:34,559
say I'm a girl.
405
00:17:35,594 --> 00:17:37,595
(quiet laugh)
406
00:17:37,646 --> 00:17:40,264
Look, I'm just
so confused, okay?
407
00:17:40,315 --> 00:17:42,233
Yesterday you're dressed
as a boy; today you're a girl.
408
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:43,651
What-what bathroom
do you use?
409
-
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00:17:43,685 --> 00:17:44,986
I mean, make up your mind.
410
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,404
It doesn't matter what you see.
411
00:17:46,438 --> 00:17:48,606
You don't get to decide for me.
412
00:17:51,693 --> 00:17:54,561
You are a douchebag, dude.
413
00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:56,998
I mean, in this room we can
be whatever we want to be.
414
00:17:59,952 --> 00:18:02,236
(school bell rings)
415
00:18:02,254 --> 00:18:03,504
SUE:
-
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Becky, it's no secret
416
00:18:03,538 --> 00:18:06,591
(sniffs) you are
Nicki Minaj's biggest fan.
417
00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:07,942
Minaj!
418
00:18:07,976 --> 00:18:09,510
Inside voice, Becky.
419
00:18:09,544 --> 00:18:11,128
I need your expert advice.
420
00:18:11,163 --> 00:18:12,263
Now I've got wigs in every shade
421
00:18:12,297 --> 00:18:13,514
of Jell-O,
-
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422
00:18:13,548 --> 00:18:15,516
and costumes
from Lima's Circus Museum,
423
00:18:15,550 --> 00:18:17,902
but if I am going
to win this feud...
424
00:18:17,936 --> 00:18:20,304
and I must win this feud...
425
00:18:20,355 --> 00:18:24,108
I can't just be a mere mirage
of Minaj, no.
426
00:18:24,142 --> 00:18:26,611
I must become her.
427
00:18:26,645 --> 00:18:29,280
Easy, Coach.
Practice your Minaj face.
-
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428
00:18:29,314 --> 00:18:31,598
I think you said,
"Practice your Minaj face."
429
00:18:31,617 --> 00:18:33,200
Excellent.
430
00:18:41,493 --> 00:18:44,111
Great, moving on.
Most important...
431
00:18:44,129 --> 00:18:45,630
I'm one step ahead
of you, Becky.
432
00:18:45,664 --> 00:18:48,466
It's time to perfect my Nicki-
Minaj-where-the-hell-did-that...
433
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,384
-
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come-from-cuckoo-
for-Cocoa-Puffs...
434
00:18:50,419 --> 00:18:52,553
crazy-pants threat.
435
00:18:52,587 --> 00:18:53,554
(school bell rings)
436
00:18:53,588 --> 00:18:55,589
I'm not putting up
with Your Highness.
437
00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,977
It's off with your head.
438
00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:01,896
Don't you call me a gangster.
What?
439
00:19:01,930 --> 00:19:03,630
-
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Every time you patronize me,
440
00:19:03,649 --> 00:19:06,067
I will take it back.
441
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:06,901
Leave me alone.
442
00:19:06,935 --> 00:19:08,569
I will knock you out.
443
00:19:10,439 --> 00:19:11,856
Getting there, Coach.
444
00:19:14,325 --> 00:19:16,651
BRODY: Five, six,
seven, eight.
445
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:18,977
Two, four,
-
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446
00:19:18,995 --> 00:19:20,979
six...
447
00:19:20,997 --> 00:19:23,281
Come on, guys, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, please.
448
00:19:23,315 --> 00:19:25,667
This is not gonna cut it
with Cassie, okay?
449
00:19:25,701 --> 00:19:27,285
Let's do it from the top.
450
00:19:27,319 --> 00:19:28,820
Just don't get
too close, girls.
451
00:19:28,838 --> 00:19:29,754
Unless you're immune
-
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452
00:19:29,789 --> 00:19:31,756
to the herps.
453
00:19:31,791 --> 00:19:34,317
Take five.
454
00:19:34,362 --> 00:19:36,196
How did you get in here?
455
00:19:36,230 --> 00:19:37,814
Don't apply logic to Lopez.
456
00:19:37,865 --> 00:19:39,199
And if what I just saw
is any indication,
457
00:19:39,233 --> 00:19:40,984
I can get in here
any time I want.
458
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00:19:41,035 --> 00:19:43,119
I've got moves your
mannequin ass couldn't handle.
459
00:19:43,154 --> 00:19:45,071
Do you know what
your problem is, Santana?
460
00:19:45,105 --> 00:19:46,990
You're loud and you're rude,
461
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:49,159
and you think
that attitude equals talent.
462
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:51,711
Another thing I am:
A hardcore friend.
463
00:19:51,746 --> 00:19:53,997
Rachel and Kurt are my family,
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464
00:19:54,048 --> 00:19:55,382
and I can smell
your sketchiness from here.
465
00:19:55,416 --> 00:19:57,050
So let me tell you
how it's gonna be.
466
00:19:57,084 --> 00:19:59,386
You're gonna move out
of our apartment tonight
467
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:02,756
or I can dig a little deeper
and destroy you.
468
00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:03,790
You're all talk and no proof.
469
00:20:03,808 --> 00:20:04,791
Don't need proof.
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470
00:20:04,809 --> 00:20:06,426
I know exactly what you are.
471
00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:09,012
Yo, fly girls, can
I get some backup?
472
00:20:09,063 --> 00:20:10,847
If you're any kind of dancer,
this one should be
473
00:20:10,898 --> 00:20:12,899
in your bones.
474
00:20:15,069 --> 00:20:17,136
(Paula Abdul's
"Coldhearted Snake" begins)
475
00:20:22,076 --> 00:20:24,611
He's a coldhearted snake
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476
00:20:24,645 --> 00:20:25,445
Girl
477
00:20:25,479 --> 00:20:27,647
Look into his eyes
478
00:20:27,665 --> 00:20:30,951
Uh-oh, girl, don't play
the fool now
479
00:20:30,985 --> 00:20:32,702
You're the one
giving up the love
480
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:34,704
Any time he needs it
481
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,623
But you turn your back
-
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482
00:20:36,657 --> 00:20:38,792
And then he's off
and running with the crowd
483
00:20:38,826 --> 00:20:40,877
You're the one to sacrifice
484
00:20:40,928 --> 00:20:43,113
Anything to please him
485
00:20:43,164 --> 00:20:45,115
Do you really think he thinks
about you when he's out
486
00:20:45,166 --> 00:20:47,734
He's a coldhearted snake
487
00:20:47,736 --> 00:20:49,402
Girl, look into his eyes
488
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00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:51,237
Uh-oh
489
00:20:51,255 --> 00:20:52,839
He's been telling lies
490
00:20:52,873 --> 00:20:53,840
He's a lover boy
491
00:20:53,874 --> 00:20:55,508
At play, girl
492
00:20:55,543 --> 00:20:57,093
He don't play by rules
493
00:20:57,128 --> 00:20:59,078
Oh-oh, uh-oh
494
00:20:59,096 --> 00:21:01,514
Girl, don't play
the fool now
-
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495
00:21:01,549 --> 00:21:03,600
It was only late last night
496
00:21:03,634 --> 00:21:05,602
He was out there sneakin'
497
00:21:05,636 --> 00:21:09,422
Then he called to check that
you were waitin' by the phone
498
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,057
All the world's
a candy store
499
00:21:11,091 --> 00:21:12,943
He's been trick or treatin'
500
00:21:12,977 --> 00:21:15,445
When it comes to true love,
girl, with him
-
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501
00:21:15,479 --> 00:21:16,947
There's no one home
502
00:21:16,981 --> 00:21:18,565
He's a coldhearted snake
503
00:21:18,599 --> 00:21:21,234
Girl, look into his eyes
504
00:21:21,268 --> 00:21:24,621
Uh-oh, he's been
telling lies
505
00:21:24,655 --> 00:21:26,239
He's a lover boy at play
506
00:21:26,273 --> 00:21:28,208
Girl, he don't play by rules
507
-
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00:21:28,242 --> 00:21:33,797
Oh-oh, uh-oh, girl,
don't play the fool now
508
00:21:33,831 --> 00:21:38,251
You can find
somebody better, girl
509
00:21:38,285 --> 00:21:41,454
He's c-cold as ice
510
00:21:41,472 --> 00:21:43,807
As cold as ice
511
00:21:47,094 --> 00:21:50,930
He's cold as ice
512
00:21:50,964 --> 00:21:54,150
He's cold as ice
513
00:21:54,185 --> 00:21:56,135
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Stay away from him, girl
514
00:21:56,153 --> 00:21:58,154
C-C-Coldhearted
515
00:21:58,189 --> 00:22:00,156
Ooh, ah, ah
516
00:22:00,191 --> 00:22:03,810
C-C-C-Coldhearted snake
517
00:22:03,828 --> 00:22:05,996
He's a coldhearted snake
518
00:22:06,030 --> 00:22:07,781
Look into his eyes
519
00:22:07,815 --> 00:22:09,616
Uh-oh
520
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00:22:09,650 --> 00:22:11,001
He's been telling lies
521
00:22:11,035 --> 00:22:13,787
He's a lover boy at play
522
00:22:13,821 --> 00:22:15,505
He don't play by rules
523
00:22:15,539 --> 00:22:17,841
Oh, uh-oh
524
00:22:17,875 --> 00:22:19,843
Girl, don't play the fool,
no
525
00:22:19,877 --> 00:22:21,828
Coldhearted snake
526
00:22:21,846 --> 00:22:23,963
Look into his eyes
-
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527
00:22:23,997 --> 00:22:25,632
Uh-oh
528
00:22:25,666 --> 00:22:29,669
Oh, oh, oh,
he's a coldhearted snake.
529
00:22:30,888 --> 00:22:32,222
Pack your bags.
530
00:22:36,193 --> 00:22:37,193
In the '90s,
531
00:22:37,228 --> 00:22:38,478
the media pitted two
532
00:22:38,512 --> 00:22:39,512
of America's hottest
music groups
-
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533
00:22:39,530 --> 00:22:41,197
against one another
534
00:22:41,232 --> 00:22:43,850
in an epic clash
for pop culture supremacy.
535
00:22:43,868 --> 00:22:45,151
And just so y'all know,
536
00:22:45,185 --> 00:22:46,202
we'll be joining
this performance
537
00:22:46,237 --> 00:22:48,455
because we
are basically Switzerland,
538
00:22:48,489 --> 00:22:50,490
and we support all parties
that are involved.
-
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539
00:22:50,524 --> 00:22:51,458
Thank you.
540
00:22:51,492 --> 00:22:54,026
Whatever. Begin, please.
541
00:22:54,045 --> 00:22:56,746
(NSYNC's "Bye, Bye, Bye" begins)
542
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,168
Hey, hey
543
00:23:02,202 --> 00:23:03,202
Bye, bye, bye
544
00:23:03,220 --> 00:23:04,854
Bye, bye
545
00:23:04,889 --> 00:23:06,890
-
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(screaming)
546
00:23:06,924 --> 00:23:08,558
Oh, oh
547
00:23:08,592 --> 00:23:11,728
I'm doing this tonight
548
00:23:11,762 --> 00:23:14,647
You're probably
gonna start a fight
549
00:23:14,682 --> 00:23:16,683
So now it's time to leave
550
00:23:16,717 --> 00:23:18,651
And make it alone
551
00:23:18,686 --> 00:23:22,188
I know that
I can't take no more
-
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552
00:23:22,222 --> 00:23:24,557
It ain't no lie
553
00:23:24,575 --> 00:23:27,193
I want to see you
out that door
554
00:23:27,227 --> 00:23:28,528
Baby, bye, bye, bye
555
00:23:28,562 --> 00:23:31,230
You are
556
00:23:31,248 --> 00:23:33,166
My fire
557
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:38,588
My one desire
558
-
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00:23:38,622 --> 00:23:40,907
Believe
559
00:23:40,925 --> 00:23:44,010
When I say
560
00:23:44,044 --> 00:23:49,081
I want it that way
561
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:51,618
Bye, bye, don't want
to be a fool for you
562
00:23:51,652 --> 00:23:55,188
Just another player
in your game for two
563
00:23:55,222 --> 00:23:58,090
It might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie
564
-
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00:23:58,109 --> 00:24:00,259
Baby, bye, bye, bye
Tell me why
565
00:24:00,277 --> 00:24:03,062
Ain't nothing
but a heartache
566
00:24:03,096 --> 00:24:05,115
Tell me why
567
00:24:05,149 --> 00:24:09,068
Ain't nothing but a mistake
568
00:24:09,102 --> 00:24:10,453
Tell me why
569
00:24:10,488 --> 00:24:14,624
I never want to hear you say
570
00:24:14,658 --> 00:24:19,129
-
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I want it that way
571
00:24:19,163 --> 00:24:21,581
You are
572
00:24:21,615 --> 00:24:24,250
My fire
573
00:24:24,284 --> 00:24:26,252
You are
574
00:24:26,286 --> 00:24:30,140
You are, you are, you are
575
00:24:32,793 --> 00:24:34,894
Don't want to hear you say
576
00:24:34,929 --> 00:24:38,898
Bye, bye, bye Ain't
nothing but a heartache
-
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577
00:24:38,933 --> 00:24:40,600
Make it tough
578
00:24:40,634 --> 00:24:43,153
Ain't nothing but a...
579
00:24:43,187 --> 00:24:45,155
Ain't no lie, bye, bye
580
00:24:45,189 --> 00:24:48,274
Don't want to be a fool
for you
You are my fire
581
00:24:48,308 --> 00:24:51,644
Just another player in your
game for two
Tell me why
582
00:24:51,662 --> 00:24:53,163
You may hate me
-
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I want it that way
583
00:24:53,197 --> 00:24:54,247
But it ain't no lie
584
00:24:54,281 --> 00:24:55,648
Baby, bye, bye, bye
585
00:24:55,666 --> 00:24:58,168
Don't really want
to make it tough
586
00:24:58,202 --> 00:25:00,486
I just want to tell you that
I had enough
One desire
587
00:25:00,504 --> 00:25:02,455
Tell me why
It might sound crazy
588
-
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00:25:02,489 --> 00:25:06,009
But it ain't no lie, baby, bye,
bye, bye
I want it that way
589
00:25:06,043 --> 00:25:07,844
Bye, bye.
(screaming)
590
00:25:16,325 --> 00:25:19,243
Well, the love on the stage
is obvious.
591
00:25:19,277 --> 00:25:21,779
You two bros need
to just hug it out.
592
00:25:21,797 --> 00:25:24,799
I'm in.
593
00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:26,834
What do you say, Mr. Shue?
-
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594
00:25:29,922 --> 00:25:31,923
(exhales)
595
00:25:32,925 --> 00:25:34,792
I-I want to, Finn.
596
00:25:34,810 --> 00:25:36,811
I-I really do, I just...
597
00:25:38,180 --> 00:25:39,430
I can't.
598
00:25:44,770 --> 00:25:46,654
Fine. Cool.
599
00:25:46,689 --> 00:25:50,108
There's nothing I can do or say
to win back your trust.
600
-
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00:25:50,142 --> 00:25:52,143
I get it.
601
00:25:54,312 --> 00:25:56,664
For whatever it's worth, thanks.
602
00:25:56,699 --> 00:25:59,200
For everything.
603
00:26:01,837 --> 00:26:03,821
(sighs)
604
00:26:07,710 --> 00:26:09,677
Guess who just got a job
605
00:26:09,712 --> 00:26:12,130
tending bar
at the Coyote Ugly saloon
606
00:26:12,164 --> 00:26:14,098
down on First Street?
-
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607
00:26:14,133 --> 00:26:15,600
Hopefully it bodes better
for me
608
00:26:15,634 --> 00:26:17,668
than any of the has-beens
who starred in that movie.
609
00:26:17,686 --> 00:26:19,337
Santana, if you'd just take
a seat, please
610
00:26:19,371 --> 00:26:21,606
and join us for a little
family loft conversation.
611
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,191
Creepy,
612
00:26:23,225 --> 00:26:25,143
-
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but okay.
613
00:26:25,177 --> 00:26:27,311
We just got off the phone
614
00:26:27,345 --> 00:26:28,696
with Brody.
615
00:26:28,731 --> 00:26:30,631
Did you confront him
616
00:26:30,666 --> 00:26:33,284
at NYADA with a
Paula Abdul song?
617
00:26:33,318 --> 00:26:34,202
You can't just
618
00:26:34,236 --> 00:26:35,686
march on in there
-
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619
00:26:35,704 --> 00:26:37,288
and like, act all crazy, okay?
620
00:26:37,322 --> 00:26:38,706
We go to school there.
621
00:26:38,741 --> 00:26:41,392
That was the best performance
that place has seen in years.
622
00:26:44,246 --> 00:26:46,364
We want you to move out.
623
00:26:46,398 --> 00:26:49,133
You're joking.
624
00:26:49,168 --> 00:26:50,118
We're not.
625
00:26:50,152 --> 00:26:51,335
-
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(sirens wailing in distance)
626
00:26:51,370 --> 00:26:53,337
Olsen twins,
let me tell you something.
627
00:26:53,371 --> 00:26:55,223
I have known you both
for years,
628
00:26:55,257 --> 00:26:57,308
and I don't like either of you
90% of the time.
629
00:26:57,342 --> 00:27:00,044
In fact, your wide-eyed,
Keane painting approach of life
630
00:27:00,062 --> 00:27:03,848
makes my teeth hurt
and my breasts ache with rage,
-
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631
00:27:03,882 --> 00:27:06,234
but you know what,
I have love for you.
632
00:27:07,219 --> 00:27:08,719
You're my family,
633
00:27:08,737 --> 00:27:10,188
and I haven't lied to you
in months.
634
00:27:10,222 --> 00:27:12,023
I'm smarter about other people
than the both of you.
635
00:27:12,057 --> 00:27:13,324
You have to trust me.
636
00:27:13,358 --> 00:27:15,860
Santana, you're making Brody
feel uncomfortable, okay?
-
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637
00:27:15,894 --> 00:27:18,329
And he was here first,
so you either lay off of it
638
00:27:18,363 --> 00:27:19,396
or you move out.
639
00:27:21,617 --> 00:27:23,668
Fine.
640
00:27:23,702 --> 00:27:25,036
That's fine.
641
00:27:25,070 --> 00:27:26,904
You know what, I don't...
I don't mind going.
642
00:27:26,922 --> 00:27:29,006
I ran into Lena Dunham
-
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643
00:27:29,041 --> 00:27:30,708
at Barney's,
644
00:27:30,742 --> 00:27:33,094
and she told me
that I could crash with her
645
00:27:33,128 --> 00:27:35,096
if I ever needed to,
so that's cool
646
00:27:35,130 --> 00:27:36,848
'cause she has
two Golden Globes.
647
00:27:36,882 --> 00:27:39,250
Oh, you know what,
and another thing.
648
00:27:39,268 --> 00:27:42,120
I have what Access Hollywood
-
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calls street smarts.
649
00:27:43,772 --> 00:27:45,422
I'm right about plastic man.
650
00:27:57,386 --> 00:27:59,220
I'm pretty sure
she just stole my comforter.
651
00:27:59,254 --> 00:28:00,304
Bitch took my pillow.
652
00:28:03,976 --> 00:28:07,212
Enough about me
and my sad, boring stories.
653
00:28:07,246 --> 00:28:08,179
(chuckles)
654
00:28:10,232 --> 00:28:13,268
I killed it,
-
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but we're still feuding.
655
00:28:13,319 --> 00:28:15,704
I just can't in good conscience
call him a woman.
656
00:28:15,738 --> 00:28:17,772
I respect his choices...
657
00:28:17,823 --> 00:28:19,891
But what's true is true:
I could put on a bunny suit
658
00:28:19,909 --> 00:28:22,193
and hop around school
giving out chocolate eggs.
659
00:28:25,414 --> 00:28:26,498
(chuckles)
660
00:28:29,702 --> 00:28:31,620
-
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Yeah, totally.
661
00:28:31,671 --> 00:28:33,772
KATIE:
Can you prove it?
662
00:28:33,806 --> 00:28:35,757
I mean, if someone were to say
that we aren't friends
663
00:28:35,791 --> 00:28:37,809
because we haven't even met
in person...
664
00:28:39,779 --> 00:28:42,013
Pissed off.
665
00:28:42,048 --> 00:28:45,016
KATIE: Well, this Wade/Unique
guy believes he's a girl.
666
-
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00:28:45,051 --> 00:28:46,685
He doesn't need any proof.
667
00:28:46,719 --> 00:28:48,603
It's his truth.
668
00:28:51,307 --> 00:28:55,977
How are you so smart
and so hot at the same time?
669
00:28:56,028 --> 00:28:57,529
(laughs)
670
00:28:57,563 --> 00:29:01,900
KATIE: Send me another shirtless
pic when you get the chance.
671
00:29:06,739 --> 00:29:08,439
Wow.
672
00:29:08,457 --> 00:29:10,441
-
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(Mariah Carey's "I Still
Believe" begins) Oh
673
00:29:10,459 --> 00:29:13,328
Yeah
674
00:29:13,379 --> 00:29:15,130
Mmm
675
00:29:15,164 --> 00:29:18,166
You look in my eyes
676
00:29:18,217 --> 00:29:20,719
And I get emotional
677
00:29:20,753 --> 00:29:22,003
Inside
678
00:29:22,054 --> 00:29:23,722
I know it's crazy
-
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679
00:29:23,756 --> 00:29:24,956
But you still can touch
680
00:29:24,974 --> 00:29:26,808
My heart
681
00:29:26,842 --> 00:29:28,309
And after all this time
682
00:29:28,344 --> 00:29:30,461
You'd think that I
683
00:29:30,479 --> 00:29:32,130
Wouldn't feel the same
684
00:29:32,148 --> 00:29:34,349
But time melts into nothing
685
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,468
And nothing's changed
-
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686
00:29:37,486 --> 00:29:40,188
I still believe
687
00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:43,307
That someday you and me
688
00:29:43,325 --> 00:29:45,193
Will find ourselves
689
00:29:45,244 --> 00:29:47,746
In love again
690
00:29:47,780 --> 00:29:50,498
Oh, baby, yeah
I still believe
691
00:29:50,533 --> 00:29:53,201
Baby, I do
Someday you and me
-
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692
00:29:53,252 --> 00:29:56,037
Just give me one more try
693
00:29:56,088 --> 00:29:57,505
In love again.
694
00:29:57,540 --> 00:30:01,092
(Nicki Minaj's
"Super Bass" begins)
695
00:30:01,127 --> 00:30:03,928
Oh, yeah
696
00:30:03,963 --> 00:30:05,830
Oh
697
00:30:05,848 --> 00:30:08,349
This one is for the boys
with the booming system
698
-
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00:30:08,384 --> 00:30:10,018
Top down,
AC with the cooling system
699
00:30:10,052 --> 00:30:12,270
When he come up in the club,
he be blazing up
700
00:30:12,304 --> 00:30:14,389
He got stacks on deck
like he saving up
701
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,224
And he ill, he real,
he might got a deal
702
00:30:16,275 --> 00:30:18,359
He pop bottles and he got
the right kind of bill
703
00:30:18,394 --> 00:30:20,061
He cold, he dope,
-
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he might be broke
704
00:30:20,112 --> 00:30:21,529
He always in the air,
but he never fly coach
705
00:30:21,564 --> 00:30:24,182
He a total freaking trip,
trip, sailor of the ship, ship
706
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,784
When he make it drip, drip,
kiss him on the lip, lip
707
00:30:25,818 --> 00:30:27,351
That's the kind of dude
I was looking for
708
00:30:27,369 --> 00:30:29,404
And yes, you'll get slapped
if you looking, ho
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709
00:30:29,455 --> 00:30:31,456
I said, "Excuse me,
you're a hell of a guy "
710
00:30:31,490 --> 00:30:32,874
"I mean, my-my-my-my,
you're like pelican fly
711
00:30:32,908 --> 00:30:35,410
"I mean, you're so shy
and I'm loving your tie
712
00:30:35,461 --> 00:30:37,796
You're like slicker than the
guy with the thing on his eye"
713
00:30:37,830 --> 00:30:39,297
Oh, yes, I did, yes, I did
714
00:30:39,331 --> 00:30:41,049
Somebody please tell him
-
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who the hell I is
715
00:30:41,083 --> 00:30:42,533
I am Nicki Minaj,
I mack them dudes up
716
00:30:42,551 --> 00:30:44,535
Back coupes up,
chuck the deuce up
717
00:30:44,553 --> 00:30:47,422
Boy, you got my heartbeat
runnin' away
718
00:30:47,473 --> 00:30:50,975
Beatin' like a drum
and it's coming your way
719
00:30:51,010 --> 00:30:52,877
Can't you hear the boom
720
-
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00:30:52,895 --> 00:30:54,979
Badoom, boom, boom, badoom,
boom bass
721
00:30:55,014 --> 00:30:57,048
That's the super bass,
boom, badoom, boom
722
00:30:57,066 --> 00:30:59,884
Boom, badoom, boom bass,
that's the super bass
723
00:30:59,902 --> 00:31:02,487
This heartbeat runnin' away
724
00:31:02,521 --> 00:31:06,491
Don't you hear that heartbeat
comin' your way?
725
00:31:06,525 --> 00:31:08,159
Oh, it feel like boom,
badoom, boom
-
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726
00:31:08,194 --> 00:31:10,445
Boom, badoom, boom bass
I still believe
727
00:31:10,496 --> 00:31:12,280
Can't you hear that boom,
badoom, boom
728
00:31:12,331 --> 00:31:13,564
Boom, badoom, boom bass?
729
00:31:13,582 --> 00:31:18,486
Don't you know
that I still believe
730
00:31:18,521 --> 00:31:20,939
That someday you and me
731
00:31:20,973 --> 00:31:22,574
Can't you hear
-
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that boom, badoom, boom
732
00:31:22,608 --> 00:31:24,141
Boom, badoom, boom bass?
733
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,244
Will love again
734
00:31:26,278 --> 00:31:29,313
Boom, badoom, boom,
boom, badoom, boom bass
735
00:31:29,331 --> 00:31:30,281
That's the super bass
736
00:31:30,315 --> 00:31:34,118
I had a dream
737
00:31:34,152 --> 00:31:36,337
That one day you and me
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738
00:31:36,372 --> 00:31:38,339
Boom, boom, boom, boom,
badoom, boom
739
00:31:38,374 --> 00:31:39,457
Boom, badoom, boom bass
740
00:31:39,491 --> 00:31:41,342
Will love again
741
00:31:41,377 --> 00:31:43,928
Boom, badoom, boom,
boom, badoom, boom bass
742
00:31:43,963 --> 00:31:45,496
Yeah,
that's that super bass.
743
00:31:45,514 --> 00:31:47,182
(applause)
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744
00:31:49,852 --> 00:31:52,604
And that, ladies, gays,
and in-betweeners,
745
00:31:52,638 --> 00:31:53,521
and hag for life,
746
00:31:53,556 --> 00:31:54,839
is how it's done.
747
00:31:54,857 --> 00:31:56,274
Impressive, Sue, both of you.
748
00:31:56,308 --> 00:31:58,142
But Coach Sylvester used like,
749
00:31:58,176 --> 00:31:59,844
feathers and a black light,
750
00:31:59,879 --> 00:32:02,113
-
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- and she brought in the Cheerios.
- Yeah, that's not fair.
751
00:32:02,147 --> 00:32:04,315
Yes, but nobody ever said
life is fair, Tina.
752
00:32:04,349 --> 00:32:05,867
So, William,
753
00:32:05,901 --> 00:32:07,936
though it's shockingly clear
who the winner is,
754
00:32:07,970 --> 00:32:09,520
would you do the honors,
755
00:32:09,538 --> 00:32:11,372
and unlike that interminably
long voting montage
756
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00:32:11,407 --> 00:32:12,790
at the end of Lincoln,
757
00:32:12,825 --> 00:32:14,125
let's make this fast.
758
00:32:14,159 --> 00:32:17,212
Show of hands for
Blaine as Mariah.
759
00:32:17,246 --> 00:32:18,379
Thank you, Tina.
760
00:32:18,414 --> 00:32:19,530
Come on.
761
00:32:19,548 --> 00:32:20,364
Noted.
762
00:32:20,382 --> 00:32:23,034
All in favor of Sue as Nicki?
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763
00:32:23,052 --> 00:32:24,802
(chuckles)
764
00:32:24,837 --> 00:32:27,805
Well, I hope you're ready
for some form-fitting polyester,
765
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:29,007
gay Clark Kent
766
00:32:29,041 --> 00:32:30,475
from season one of Smallville,
767
00:32:30,509 --> 00:32:32,477
because it looks like
you're going to be the bottom
768
00:32:32,511 --> 00:32:36,397
of my Cheerios pyramid
after all.
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769
00:32:39,518 --> 00:32:41,519
(school bell ringing)
770
00:32:53,565 --> 00:32:55,950
So you really are leaving?
771
00:32:57,069 --> 00:32:58,336
(sighs)
772
00:32:58,370 --> 00:32:59,454
Yeah.
773
00:33:02,407 --> 00:33:04,842
I just wanted to thank you
for everything
774
00:33:04,877 --> 00:33:06,761
you did for me.
775
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00:33:12,417 --> 00:33:13,584
Thank you.
776
00:33:16,254 --> 00:33:17,221
So...
777
00:33:17,255 --> 00:33:18,523
what's next for you?
778
00:33:18,557 --> 00:33:20,108
I don't know.
779
00:33:20,142 --> 00:33:21,425
Probably a lot of long hours
780
00:33:21,443 --> 00:33:22,927
of figuring out
what's next for me.
781
00:33:28,450 --> 00:33:29,450
MARLEY:
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Um...
782
00:33:30,986 --> 00:33:32,287
Can I speak freely?
783
00:33:32,321 --> 00:33:35,773
Yeah, sure, I'm not your
commanding officer or anything.
784
00:33:35,791 --> 00:33:37,075
Say whatever you want.
785
00:33:37,109 --> 00:33:40,378
Dude, you really need
to grow a pair.
786
00:33:40,412 --> 00:33:43,131
Maybe you should go back
to not speaking so freely.
787
00:33:43,165 --> 00:33:44,299
-
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I know that
788
00:33:44,333 --> 00:33:46,134
you're feeling bad about
yourself right now.
789
00:33:46,168 --> 00:33:48,252
And I also know
how just one kiss
790
00:33:48,286 --> 00:33:50,221
can get you into
a whole lot of trouble.
791
00:33:50,255 --> 00:33:51,556
Believe me.
792
00:33:51,590 --> 00:33:55,259
But if Mr. Shue doesn't want you
around anymore, forget him.
793
-
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00:33:55,293 --> 00:33:57,428
Don't let him define you.
794
00:33:57,462 --> 00:33:59,814
Problem is, he does define me.
795
00:33:59,848 --> 00:34:03,267
The four years I spent
in this Glee Club
796
00:34:03,301 --> 00:34:04,936
defines me.
797
00:34:04,970 --> 00:34:06,738
This whole freakin' school
defines me,
798
00:34:06,772 --> 00:34:08,156
and without it, I am...
799
00:34:08,190 --> 00:34:10,441
-
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I just feel... lost.
800
00:34:10,475 --> 00:34:11,492
So...
801
00:34:11,527 --> 00:34:13,761
After we lost Sectionals, I was
802
00:34:13,796 --> 00:34:15,079
terrified
803
00:34:15,114 --> 00:34:16,898
that everything was
just going to fall apart,
804
00:34:16,932 --> 00:34:18,315
but you fought
805
00:34:18,334 --> 00:34:20,001
to keep us together.
-
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806
00:34:20,035 --> 00:34:21,452
You're a natural leader, Finn.
807
00:34:21,486 --> 00:34:23,788
A teacher.
808
00:34:23,822 --> 00:34:26,090
You don't need
Mr. Shue's approval to be that.
809
00:34:26,125 --> 00:34:27,091
Yeah,
810
00:34:27,126 --> 00:34:28,159
but I do need a little thing
811
00:34:28,193 --> 00:34:29,160
called a teaching degree.
812
00:34:29,178 --> 00:34:30,962
-
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So...
813
00:34:31,964 --> 00:34:33,497
...go get one.
814
00:34:43,767 --> 00:34:45,768
(school bell ringing)
815
00:34:47,071 --> 00:34:48,488
(sighs)
816
00:34:48,522 --> 00:34:49,972
You gonna challenge
all three of us to a feud now?
817
00:34:49,990 --> 00:34:52,108
Look, I asked you guys here
for a truce.
818
00:34:53,494 --> 00:34:54,477
Okay, sometimes
-
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819
00:34:54,495 --> 00:34:55,862
I don't know how to fit in here.
820
00:34:57,047 --> 00:34:58,981
But kissing you, Marley...
821
00:34:58,999 --> 00:35:00,650
that was so out of line,
and I'm sorry.
822
00:35:00,684 --> 00:35:01,984
It's okay.
823
00:35:02,002 --> 00:35:04,954
It's not, but...
I'll never do it again.
824
00:35:06,924 --> 00:35:09,208
Look, friendship is about trust.
-
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825
00:35:09,259 --> 00:35:10,993
Okay? It's like
when we're playing football.
826
00:35:11,011 --> 00:35:13,346
Look, I fumbled
the ball this time,
827
00:35:13,380 --> 00:35:15,548
but you know I have good hands.
828
00:35:15,599 --> 00:35:16,683
I just made a mistake.
829
00:35:16,717 --> 00:35:18,017
You know
830
00:35:18,052 --> 00:35:19,385
if you give me the ball again,
831
-
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00:35:19,436 --> 00:35:20,553
I won't let you down.
832
00:35:25,275 --> 00:35:27,343
Yeah, but it might take
a little while.
833
00:35:27,361 --> 00:35:28,344
I take that.
834
00:35:28,362 --> 00:35:29,729
Thank you.
835
00:35:29,780 --> 00:35:30,730
(sighs)
836
00:35:30,781 --> 00:35:32,365
Unique...
837
00:35:32,399 --> 00:35:34,683
Look, I'm not gonna pretend
-
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like I understand everything
838
00:35:34,702 --> 00:35:35,785
that's going on with you.
839
00:35:35,819 --> 00:35:37,236
(sighs)
840
00:35:37,271 --> 00:35:39,021
But you have a truth,
841
00:35:39,039 --> 00:35:40,356
and as your friend,
842
00:35:40,391 --> 00:35:41,941
I need to support
that truth, so...
843
00:35:41,975 --> 00:35:43,493
you're a girl, dude.
-
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844
00:35:44,945 --> 00:35:47,063
Holy crap, did I mess that up?
845
00:35:47,097 --> 00:35:48,130
No, it's just...
846
00:35:49,516 --> 00:35:51,434
That day, after we sang...
847
00:35:51,468 --> 00:35:54,771
I decided to walk home
in all my Leslie Uggams glory,
848
00:35:54,805 --> 00:35:57,824
and a group of popular girls
came after me.
849
00:35:57,858 --> 00:35:58,941
GIRL 1: ...serious?
Look at this.
-
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850
00:35:58,975 --> 00:36:00,993
Are you a boy or a girl?
851
00:36:01,028 --> 00:36:03,279
Hey! Freak!
852
00:36:03,313 --> 00:36:05,147
Lady Freak!
853
00:36:05,165 --> 00:36:06,949
I got home before
they caught up to me,
854
00:36:06,983 --> 00:36:08,985
but I was so scared.
855
00:36:09,019 --> 00:36:10,653
I'm walking you home
from now on.
856
-
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00:36:10,671 --> 00:36:11,671
Yeah. Me, too.
857
00:36:11,705 --> 00:36:13,339
Me, three. KITTY: Me, four.
858
00:36:13,373 --> 00:36:15,324
And P.S., do those bitches
go to this school?
859
00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:16,826
'Cause if so,
I want their names
860
00:36:16,844 --> 00:36:18,327
so I can put Nair
in their shampoo bottles.
861
00:36:18,345 --> 00:36:20,329
- Wait a minute. We're friends?
- Look,
-
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862
00:36:20,347 --> 00:36:22,014
I don't know if it's 'cause
I've been dating Puckerman,
863
00:36:22,049 --> 00:36:24,434
which makes it really hard
to judge anyone...
864
00:36:24,468 --> 00:36:26,753
and I will deny it
outside in the real world...
865
00:36:26,787 --> 00:36:28,087
but, yes.
866
00:36:28,122 --> 00:36:29,088
We're friends.
867
00:36:29,123 --> 00:36:30,423
And we're in this together.
-
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868
00:36:30,457 --> 00:36:31,507
I'm a winner,
869
00:36:31,542 --> 00:36:32,642
and I want to win Regionals.
870
00:36:32,676 --> 00:36:34,009
So we need to cut the crap
871
00:36:34,027 --> 00:36:35,111
and the fighting
872
00:36:35,145 --> 00:36:36,512
and tighten up
so we can win this.
873
00:36:36,530 --> 00:36:39,031
Friendships are tested
like this all the time.
874
-
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00:36:39,066 --> 00:36:40,366
And the ones that are real
875
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:41,868
are the ones
that pass the test.
876
00:36:41,902 --> 00:36:43,786
Artie and Tina and Sam
and probably Brittany
877
00:36:43,821 --> 00:36:45,455
are all going to be gone
next year,
878
00:36:45,489 --> 00:36:46,773
and it's going to be up to us
879
00:36:46,807 --> 00:36:48,441
to keep up the Glee Club torch.
880
-
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00:36:48,475 --> 00:36:50,710
Not just winning
competitions, but...
881
00:36:50,744 --> 00:36:53,796
the legacy of being
the only place at this school...
882
00:36:53,831 --> 00:36:55,465
at any school...
883
00:36:55,499 --> 00:36:56,999
where the most special thing
you can be is yourself.
884
00:36:57,033 --> 00:36:58,801
Think we're up for it?
885
00:36:58,836 --> 00:36:59,869
Are you kidding?
886
-
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00:36:59,887 --> 00:37:01,838
This place ain't seen
nothing yet.
887
00:37:01,872 --> 00:37:03,306
Yeah!
Oh, yeah...
888
00:37:03,340 --> 00:37:06,041
(laughing)
889
00:37:06,059 --> 00:37:08,060
(school bell ringing)
890
00:37:08,095 --> 00:37:11,013
SUE:
You look absolutely
891
00:37:11,047 --> 00:37:12,047
adorable.
892
-
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00:37:12,065 --> 00:37:13,349
And just to show there's
893
00:37:13,383 --> 00:37:14,684
no animosity between us,
894
00:37:14,718 --> 00:37:16,051
I've decided to make
you and Becky
895
00:37:16,069 --> 00:37:17,987
my Cheerios!
Co-captains.
896
00:37:18,021 --> 00:37:19,405
Yes!
897
00:37:20,407 --> 00:37:22,057
I love you.
898
00:37:22,075 --> 00:37:23,359
-
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Thank you.
(Sue whistles)
899
00:37:23,393 --> 00:37:25,912
Let this be a life
lesson to you...
900
00:37:25,946 --> 00:37:28,397
one that you'll remember
20 years from now,
901
00:37:28,415 --> 00:37:29,899
when you're playing
"Uncle Nubbins"
902
00:37:29,933 --> 00:37:32,001
on The Suite Life of
Zack and Cody reboot...
903
00:37:32,035 --> 00:37:34,337
that the real world is nothing
like the Glee Club,
-
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904
00:37:34,371 --> 00:37:36,405
where you can join and rejoin,
905
00:37:36,423 --> 00:37:38,007
quit and requit
906
00:37:38,041 --> 00:37:39,675
whenever you're not crying
907
00:37:39,710 --> 00:37:41,377
or throwing confetti
at each other.
908
00:37:41,411 --> 00:37:43,830
Because in the real world,
there are commitments...
909
00:37:43,864 --> 00:37:46,065
and you're only as good
as your word.
-
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910
00:37:50,053 --> 00:37:51,938
Blaine Devon Anderson,
911
00:37:51,972 --> 00:37:54,557
do I have your word