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A caring family and effective communications between parents and children are crucial to the healthy growth of youths, who face intense physical and mental changes in their adolescence. At the same time, they are also shaped by their surroundings in their daily lives. How should parents look after their children in their course of growth to maturity? In this issue, we are delighted to have Ms Chan Man Yee, Barbara, Founder of ‘Parenting Forum’, to share with us her experience.

Guard yourself before guarding your children

Parents nowadays spare no efforts in gleaning parenting skills in order to equip their children to stand out among their peers. The most important point, which is often ignored, is parents’ own motivation. ‘Parents are in a privileged position to protect their children as they possess one thing that experts, such as teachers, psychiatrists and social workers, never have — that is the power of parent-child relationship. Parents should treasure and manage well with this power in caring their children because they are the only ones who know what their children need’, said Barbara.

In order to protect their children, Barbara emphasized that parents should, first of all, manage their own psyche, ‘Like the pre-flight safety instructions for passengers, adults should first put on oxygen masks in an emergency before doing so for their children. Otherwise, if their parents faint, the children would be left unattended.’ The fundamental skill for parents is to release themselves from stressful lives and attain self-satisfaction. Only until then, they will be capable of protecting their children.

Making mistakes is unavoidable for children. Sometimes they even get into bigger and unimaginable troubles, and parents may lose their minds all out of a sudden. Barbara explained,’ when children get hurt, it is common for parents to get traumatized too. Parents should, first of all, admit their mental suffering. They should manage their mind, calm down, seek help to get them across and, thereafter, they will be able to accept their children’s fault and help them solve the problems.’ She reminded parents not to act blindly according to theories. If parents fail to snap out from confusion, professional advices are of no use in helping their children.

Master your ‘Rope of Love’, never be a ‘Helicopter’

While psychological and physical transformations get under way during adolescence, the most notable changes of teenagers are their urge for a self-identity and privacy. On one hand, they intend to distance themselves from their parents to demonstrate their independence. ‘On the other hand, they need their self-identity being recognized by people around them, especially their parents.’ Barbara explained with an example, ‘Why do youth gangs have such a close relationship among themselves? It is because they can attain self-identity and care from their peers. In fact, parents can do the same and foster even closer family ties with children during their adolescence.’

One thing that parents should bear in mind is that they should not always edify their children in their chats. ‘For instance, children would be eager to share with their parents the experience of witnessing a

friend being stopped by a police on the street. Parents should avoid taking the chance to lecture their children because they may actually be scared by the experience and need to express their feelings,’ said Barbara.

It is never easy for parents to strike a balance between ‘caring’ and ‘loosening the grip’. Barbara suggested,’ Show your care with trust.’ In recent years, a new term — ‘helicopter parents’ — was come up to describe parents who pay extremely close attention to their children’s daily lives. They try to show intensive care to their children but, in fact, they are overreaching themselves.’ Teenagers look for self-identity in the course of growing up; distrusting children is a big taboo which may spoil the parent-child relationship.’

Barbara agreed ‘trusting your children takes certain risks,’ yet as long as parents are confident enough, they should let children learn to make decisions on their own. She said, ‘When children leave their schools and start their career, parents cannot expect to get along with their children for their job interviews!’

How to sustain proper care to children? Barbara shared, ‘Weave a “rope of love” and master it carefully, like flying a kite. Let children fly as they wish while parents, on another end, guide them the way when necessary.’

Start your conversation with ‘Frank’ + ‘Heart’ when exploring youth drug abuse problem with children

News reports about youth drug abuse problems often worry parents over the hidden threats around their children. Yet, parents have no idea how to start a conversation with their children on drug-related topics. Barbara explained, ‘Be frank to your children, tell them your worries and they will feel it. Never solely rely on your observation, such as making a blind guess based on their appearance and behavior. In fact, teenagers consume a lot of energy everyday for their physical development. They are also engaged in a wide range of school and social activities nowadays. Teenagers are keen to gather with friends and can be easily tired out.’

Ms Barbara Chan is enthusiastic in propogating parent education in the community. She has been invited to deliver talks about parent-child relationship and parent education for local and overseas schools, churches, Government and non-government organisations. In 2008, she established ‘Parenting Forum’ – a non-governmental organisation which aims at encouraging parents to learn parenting skills through seminars, courses and parent-child activities, so as to be better equipped to fight against challenges.

Mr Lee Yuen Tai, Chairman of Direction Association for the Handicapped (second right) and Mr Thomas Wong, a grantee of Path Builders Exemplary Awards (left) jointly delivered a life education talk at Lingnan Hang Yee Memorial Secondary School

PAST EVENTSOrganiser: Direction Association For The Handicapped

Life Education talksTarget: Youths • Venue: Schools and community organizations

‘Direction of Association For the Handicapped’ is a non-profit making organisation which provides a wide spectrum of services to the physically disabled community. The association aims at assisting the disabled to reintegrate into the community by consolidating their synergy, encouraging mutual-help among themselves, making efficient use of the community resources, and providing vocational training and recreational activities for their members.

With its belief of ‘life influencing life’, the Association promulgated ‘helping others through self-help’ by organising life education talks for the youth at schools and in the community. The ‘Life Fighters’ shared their life experiences with the participants and encouraged the youths to embrace their lives positively, be strong when facing difficulties and ‘say no’ firmly against drug temptations.

P-assage Issue 2 • January 2011

Publication of ‘Path Builders’ of Narcotics Division, Security Bureau

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Parents could consider bringing up the discussion on drug issues while picking up news from newspapers or TV with their children. Try to share with them your views, regard them as adults, and avoid lecturing them.

Teaching children = Teaching yourself. Both parents and children gain from proper parenting.

Barbara summed, ‘In the course of parenting, parents are obliged to behave themselves. Their incentive to train up their children will become a motivation of pursuing self-enhancement. In other words,

there are gains to parents as well.’ She mentioned that a friend of her used to vent his stress by saying foul languages. However, he dropped the bad habit, after he had become a father, to lead his son by good examples . The father, by then, is now more composed and positive in attitude.

In short, ‘teaching children is also teaching yourself.’ Both parents and children gain from proper parenting. Barbara, at the end, recommended her favorite book — ‘Every parent can be happy’ (translation) to every mom and dad, wishing them all an enjoyable parenthood.

Barbara recommended her favorite book — ‘Every parent can be happy’ (translation) to every mom and dad, wishing them all an enjoyable parenthood.

EDITORIALCOLUMN

The Government has in recent years launched a territory-wide campaign to combat drug abuse on various fronts. The campaign has mobilised different sectors such as schools, non-government organisations, professional bodies and corporations to step up their efforts in the fight against the problem.

While the campaign has successfully raised the awareness of the community to drug problem, we should bear in mind that prevention of youth drug abuse is best

started at home, which is at the moment the most popular place for taking drugs for the young people.

Young people would take drugs under the influence of friends at home in the absence of adults. More often than not, parents fail to identify early signs of drug taking of their children who might spend most of the time inside their bedrooms. That is why youth drug abuse nowadays is said to be “highly hidden”.

In spite of an ease of youth drug abuse as shown by recent figures, it is no time for complacency as the exact magnitude of the problem could be beyond our imagination. There is no apparent symptom at the early stage of abusing psychotropic drugs and such habit may go unnoticed for several

years. By the time problems surface, the abusers would have already suffered irreversible damage to the body.

Parents play a crucial role to guard their children against drug abuse by beginning preventive education at home. It is never a thorny issue only for underprivileged families. In fact, many well-off families suffer immensely because of their oversight of the problem.

‘Path Builders’ has long been encouraging the youths to pursue positive life attitude to strengthen their resistance to adversity and temptations. Care of family members lays the very groundwork in the fight against youth drug abuse.

The Editor

* Statistics of the Narcotic Division’s Central Registry of Drug Abuse http://www.nd.gov.hk/tc/statistics_list.htm

Organiser: Harmonevergreen Service Association Ltd

‘Path Builders’ Mid-Autumn Festive Variety ShowTarget: Tin Shui Wai residents • Date: September 18 2010 • Venue: Kingswood Ginza, Tin Shui Wai, Yuen Long

PAST EVENTSOrganiser: Wu Zhi Qiao (Bridge to China)

Bridge building project of the Paomapi village in YunnanTarget: The needy schoolchildren in PRC •�Date: August 2010� • Venue: Paomapi, Lijiang City, Yunnan

Introduced by the Path Builders, a young female, Miss Kwok Choi-ching, from the Barnabas Charitable Service Association joined the Wu Zhi Qiao bridge building project in the village of Paomapi in Yunnan last August. The project aimed at building a bridge for the local kids who always suffered from heavy rains when crossing the river on their way to school. By the time the project ran, Yunnan was going through a rainy season accompanied by a great lag of daily temperature. Together with the light

and spicy food shared with the local residents, Choi-ching admitted frankly that life had been tough in those days. However, she did enjoy the time she spent with the team — a team of 60 volunteer college students coming from the Mainland, Hong Kong, Taiwan and the United States They got over their language barrier and forged ahead with their team spirit. Under such a difficult circumstance, they have spent only 9 days to get the project completed.

The bridge building exercise not only entailed self-training of the youths, but also provided a valuable chance for their contribution to the community and, thereby, achieved the sense of satisfaction when helping people in need. In a broader sense, it further strengthened their assertiveness on their capability and self-value.

To keep happy families away from drugs, the organiser disseminated anti-drug messages to Tin Shui Wai families through a mid-autumn festive variety show. The show was supported by various non-government organisations and commercial corporations. Its opening ceremony was officiated by the Hon Miriam Lau Kin-yee, GBS, JP and Member of the Legislative Council, and Mr. Jeremy Young, Political Assistant to the Secretary for Education.

Apart from traditional quiz games of lantern riddle and other booth games, the organiser has arranged performances such as Chinese shadow boxing (Taiji Quan), Taekwondo, Hip Hop dance and Aerobics to entertain family members at all ages. ‘Path Builders’ staged an anti-drug exhibition and distributed souvenirs to the participants so as to enhance their awareness on fighting against drug.

P-assage Issue 2 • January 2011

Publication of ‘Path Builders’ of Narcotics Division, Security Bureau

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CASESTUDIES

UPCOMINGEVENTS

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SPECIALFEATURE

EDITORIALCOLUMN

Citizens enjoyed so much in the quiz game and won the little gifts sponsored by the Narcotics Division

The Hon Miriam Lau Kin-yee, GBS, JP and Member of the Legislative Council (third right), Mr. Jeremy Young, Political Assistant to the Secretary for Education (middle) and the guests showed support to the variety show, and had an enjoyable Mid Autumn Festival with the Tin Shui Wai citizens

PAST EVENTSOrganiser: Rotary Club of Admiralty

Charity Gala Premiere for ‘Say No To Drugs • Path Builders For Youth’ ProjectDate: September 21 2010�• Venue: AMC, Festival Walk, Kowloon Tong

The Charity Gala Premiere aims at raising fund for the ‘Say No To Drugs • Path Builders For Youth’ Project through ticketing and sponsorship. Tung Wah Group of Hospitals CROSS Centre will be responsible for the implementation of the project.

The project is tailored for an one-stop solution from drug treatment to counseling services. It aims at helping the ex-drug abusing youths to build up self-confidence and set their goals of life, so as to explore their talents at work or studies. With sufficient support provided by families and the community, the ex-drug abused youths are expected to reintegrate into the society with a healthy life.

The Premiere has gained tremendous support by many notables, including Mr Lai Tung Kwok, SBS, IDSM, JP, Under Secretary for Security, and Professor Daniel Shek, PhD, BBS, JP, Chairman of the Action Committee Against Narcotics, as the officiating guests. Mr Tang Wang Yip, Gold Medalist of Cyling — Men’s Individual Road Race of the East Asian Game 2009, was invited to be the Anti-Drug Ambassador of the project. Being an example with strong athletic wills, Mr Tang encouraged young people to build up a drug-free and healthy life.

P-assage Issue 2 • January 2011

Publication of ‘Path Builders’ of Narcotics Division, Security Bureau

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Mr Lai Tung Kwok, SBS, IDSM, JP, Under Secretary for Security (right) officiated at the opening ceremony of the charity premiere

A press conference was held on early September to give a programme briefing to the media

Organiser: Hong Kong Tertiary Institutions Health Care Working Group

To further spread anti-drug messages across tertiary institutions, the Hong Kong Tertiary Institutions Health Care Working Group, constituted by representatives from ten tertiary institutions, launched a 7-month joint-campus anti-drug campaign in September. The campaign aims at introducing to students the variety of drugs and

Joint-campus Anti-drug Campaign of tertiary institutionsTarget: University students • Date: September 2010 to April 2011 • Venue: Campuses of tertiary institutions

the harm of drug abusing by staging roving exhibitions across the campuses, and forming anti-drug volunteer groups equipped by training seminars. All in all, the campaign aims at protecting students from drugs by every possible means in the campus.

P-assage Issue 2 • January 2011

Publication of ‘Path Builders’ of Narcotics Division, Security Bureau

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Organiser: Narcotics Division, Security Bureau

‘Path Builders’ Lunchtime Parental Talk SeriesTarget: Working parents • Date: November 2010 to January 2011 • Venue: HKJC Drug InfoCentre

Family is at the frontline of the �ght against youth drug abuse. Parents’ understanding of the problem and acquisition of better communication skills with children help prevent their children from falling victims of drugs.

The Narcotics Division launched a series of ‘Path Builders Lunchtime Parental Talks’ consisting of three sessions between Nov 2010 and Jan 2011 for working parents. The talks were delivered by famous guest speakers including Psychiatrist Dr Tsang Fan Kwong and TV artist Ms Chan Man Yee Barbara to share their professional and famous skills in parenting, such as the effective ways of communication with children, so as to empower them against unexpected temptations, and tips of building a healthy pathway for children. The Narcotics Division has also invited two Path Builders • ExxonMobil ‘Beat Drugs Masters’ — ex-drug abusers to share their true stories with the audience.

PAST EVENTSOrganiser: Unicorn 701 Sports Association

Mini Wargame ExhibitionTarget: Youths in Tseung Kwan O • Date: 8 October 2010 • Venue: Tseung Kwan O Sports Centre

Introduced by the ‘Path Builders’, the volunteer group of the Unicorn 701 Sports Association worked with the Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups by staging a mini wargame exhibition at Tseung Kwan O Sports Centre.

The exhibition showcased a series of wargame equipments, including simulated electrical rif�es, military uniforms, some other equipments and videos. On-site volunteers gave detailed brie�ngs and provided military uniforms and rif�es to the participants for photo-shooting. The participants were so excited and enjoyed very much in this event.

Ms Sally Wong (left), Commissioner for Narcotics, expressed sincere gratitude on behalf of ‘Path Builders’ for Dr Tsang Fan Kwong’s championship of the Lunchtime Parental Talk Series

Participants showed interest in the brie�ng by the volunteers

The responsible volunteers of the mini-exhibition

P-assage Issue 2 • January 2011

Publication of ‘Path Builders’ of Narcotics Division, Security Bureau

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CASESTUDIES

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PAST EVENTSOrganiser: Economic Synergy

Organiser: Green Island Cement Company Limited

‘Path Builders�Healthy Drug-free Family’ Staff SeminarTarget: Staff of Green Island Cement Company Limited • Date: December 10 2010 •

Venue: Green Island Cement Company Limited – Tap Shek Kok Office

The talk aims at enhancing the knowledge of the staff members on the variety of drugs and the harmful effects of drug abuse. It also encouraged the staff members to care about their children and spread the anti-drug messages to their families, so as to build up a drug-free and healthy family.

Introduced by ‘Path Builders’, a social worker of Caritas HUGS Centre was invited to introduce the commonly used drugs, the

Economic Synergy launched the ‘Knotting Hearts Action’ for the second year. The territory-wide campaign aims at enhancing primary and secondary students’ resistance to drugs through a wide spectrum of activities, such as video shooting competition, design and making heart knots for distribution to friends and family members to spread out the message of ‘Caring the others, Fighting together against drugs.’

Launching ceremony of ‘2010 Knotting Hearts Action’Target: Secondary and Primary Students • Date: 14 November 2010 • Venue: HKJC Ti-I College

Mr Henry Tang, GBM, GBS, JP, Chief Secretary for Administration (eigth left, back row), Mr Lai Tung Kwok, SBS, IDSM, JP, Under Secretary for Security (ninth right, back row), Mrs Michelle Wong, Deputy Secretary for Education (second left, back row), and other notable guests officiated at the launching ceremony of ‘2010 Knotting Hearts Action’

The launching ceremony was officiated by Mr Henry Tang, GBM, GBS, JP, Chief Secretary for Administration. Mr Lai Tung Kwok, SBS, IDSM, JP, Under Secretary for Security, and Mrs Michelle Wong, Deputy Secretary for Education, together with many other notable guests also attended the ceremony and joined together to put a new heart knot on a giant greeting card.

harmful effects of drug abuse and symptoms of youth drug abuse to the audience. An ex-drug abuser representing the Path Builders�ExxonMobil ‘Beat Drugs Masters’ Project, thereafter, gave a sharing of his own life experience. The activity has shown the concern of the organiser towards health of its staff members as well as their family lives.

P-assage Issue 2 • January 2011

Publication of ‘Path Builders’ of Narcotics Division, Security Bureau

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CASESTUDIES

UPCOMINGEVENTS

PASTEVENTS

SPECIALFEATURE

EDITORIALCOLUMN

UPCOMING EVENTSWrap-up Ceremony of the Second Phase of the ‘Path Builders Mentorship Programme’

Organiser: Law Society of Hong Kong • Date: January 22 2011 • Venue: Noah’s Stadium, Noah’s Ark Resort, Ma Wan

Since the launch of the second phase in April last year, the Programme has received gratifying feedback with the participation of 110 barristers, solicitors, trainee solicitors, accountants, engineers, town planners and surveyors to be the mentors of 200 students from 27 secondary schools in Yuen Long and North Districts. A wrap-up ceremony consisting of interactive games, group discussions and mentors’ sharing session will be launched to mark a perfect end to the Programme.

Inter-School Anti-Drugs Putonghua Debate Competition

Organiser: Lions Clubs International District 303 • Date: October 2010 to April 2011

The event aims at enhancing the debate skills and the Putonghua pro�ciency of secondary students. With the theme of the debate — ‘preventing against drug abuse’, secondary students are encouraged to explore the issue from different perspectives about the harmful effects of drug abuse. For more details, please visit the event website: http://www.youth-online.com/antidrugsdebate/.

‘Path Builders’ Anti-Drugs Rap Song Composition Competition

Organiser: Lions Club of Hong Kong Shouson Hill • Closing Date of Enrolment: March 25 2011

The competition aims at disseminating messages of �ghting against drugs and embracing lives. It encourages joint participation of the youths and their family, so as to further enhance their relationship. For more details, please visit the event website: http://www.sshlions.org.hk.

CASE STUDIESIn this issue, we would like to share a criminal drug traf�cking case, which was heard in High Court in August 2010, of a young male who was �nally sentenced to prison for 4 years and 8 months.

On the day under arrest, the defendant was spotted by two police constables, who were on patrol in King Lam Estate, Tseung Kwan O, walking with a black plastic bag in his hand. Upon seeing the police of�cer, the defendant turned around, ran in the opposite direction and threw away the plastic bag. The of�cers chased after the defendant and arrested him, who was found possessing 165.41 grams of ketamine.

The defendant, aged 23, had a job and came from a stable family. He had a good relationship with his family members. His father was a respectable man with a good career. The defendant was neither a drug abuser nor a member of any triad society. Possibly due to the death of his mother years ago, the defendant lacked self-discipline and kept indulging himself — since dropped out of study at Form 5, he began to enter into the records of the police with a minor infringement. His record was further blemished and was sent to a rehabilitation centre for theft and possession of dangerous drugs. Although living in a well-off family, the defendant took the risk to make easy money by traf�cking drugs.

Traf�cking of dangerous drugs is a serious offense which may also be committed by non-drug abusers. Even no prominent symptom of drug-abusing is found on children, parents should remain cautious in preventing their children falling victims to drug-related offenses. Young people may fall off the road for a moment of temptation and try again whenever possible. Parents should help build up a positive value for their children since they were young and take this real case as an example for moral education.

Source quoted from the website of the Judiciary of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region: http://legalref.judiciary.gov.hk/lrs/common/ju/ju_frame.jsp?DIS=73393&currpage=T

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