Social Comfort ~ Social Comfort ~ It can set you apart!It can set you apart!

Jan Bilgen, Associate DirectorJan Bilgen, Associate Director

Career & Leadership DevelopmentCareer & Leadership Development

Social ComfortSocial Comfort

Knowledge = AwarenessKnowledge = Awareness

Awareness + Practice = ComfortAwareness + Practice = Comfort

Today’s To Do List:Today’s To Do List:

Actively acquire Actively acquire knowledgeknowledge Develop Develop individually and as a group individually and as a group Practice professional Practice professional integrity integrity Serve and have fun!Serve and have fun! Develop Develop respect respect for the group and for the for the group and for the

institutioninstitution

Manners and Social GraceManners and Social Grace

Manners and Social GraceManners and Social Grace Manners include:Manners include:

GreetingsGreetings HospitalityHospitality Contributing to ConversationContributing to Conversation Proper ClothingProper Clothing Eating with dignityEating with dignity PromptnessPromptness Comfort ( newcomers, bereavement)Comfort ( newcomers, bereavement) Gifts and InvitationsGifts and Invitations

Why be friendly have Why be friendly have good manners?good manners?

Part of your future & successPart of your future & success Sets you apartSets you apart An opportunity to meet new and An opportunity to meet new and

different peopledifferent people You’re a campus leaderYou’re a campus leader"Leadership is an influence relationship among leaders and "Leadership is an influence relationship among leaders and

followers who intend real changes that reflect their mutual followers who intend real changes that reflect their mutual purposes." purposes."

- Joseph C. Rost- Joseph C. Rost

Communicating WelcomeCommunicating Welcome

PhysicallyPhysically Body PostureBody Posture

ConfidenceConfidence Open to conversationOpen to conversation

“ “The Look”The Look” HandshakeHandshake Vocal tone, speed and inflectionVocal tone, speed and inflection

Communicating WelcomeCommunicating Welcome

IntellectuallyIntellectually SinceritySincerity

Not ForcedNot Forced Open to conversationOpen to conversation

Knowing who you areKnowing who you are Intentionality – “intentionally inviting”Intentionality – “intentionally inviting”

Mingle is an Art form!Mingle is an Art form!

3 top Fears of Americans3 top Fears of Americans 33rdrd Death Death 22ndnd Public Speaking Public Speaking 11stst Mingling Mingling

Key to a Quality Mingle Key to a Quality Mingle Think AheadThink Ahead Ask Leading QuestionsAsk Leading Questions

Mingle is an Art form!Mingle is an Art form!

Key Mingle Lifesavers Key Mingle Lifesavers Think Ahead/PrepareThink Ahead/Prepare

Develop a “comfort plan”Develop a “comfort plan” Elevator Intro – PracticeElevator Intro – Practice

Let’s hear it!!Let’s hear it!!

Ask Leading QuestionsAsk Leading Questions Examples?? Examples?? Let’s hear more!Let’s hear more!

Mingle is an Art form!Mingle is an Art form!

Ask Leading Questions ExamplesAsk Leading Questions Examples Travel far today?Travel far today? What has pleased you about your visit today?What has pleased you about your visit today? How have you found campus today?How have you found campus today? What questions do you have?What questions do you have? How do you celebrate summer?How do you celebrate summer? What’s on tap for the weekend? What’s on tap for the weekend?

Introductions to FosterIntroductions to Foster

ConversationsConversations

IntroductionsIntroductions Leaders should always . . . .Leaders should always . . . .

Eye Contact • Initiates •Sets friendly, inclusive tone Eye Contact • Initiates •Sets friendly, inclusive tone

Purpose of Introductions – what’s in a name?Purpose of Introductions – what’s in a name? Why it’s important to complete Intros wellWhy it’s important to complete Intros well

Communicates sincerityCommunicates sincerity Contributes to a welcoming atmosphereContributes to a welcoming atmosphere FlattersFlatters Creates more cordial relationships & opinionsCreates more cordial relationships & opinions

Introductions to FosterIntroductions to Foster

ConversationsConversations

IntroductionsIntroductions What to DOWhat to DO

Give Information when you introduceGive Information when you introduce Use their name 2x – you’ll remember moreUse their name 2x – you’ll remember more Remember to use titles/positive labels when introducing Remember to use titles/positive labels when introducing

peoplepeople Be A good sport: Always give your own nameBe A good sport: Always give your own name Responsibility – host/include the new comer Responsibility – host/include the new comer Don’t worry if you forget just confess on the spotDon’t worry if you forget just confess on the spot LISTEN Don’t think aheadLISTEN Don’t think ahead

Introductions to FosterIntroductions to Foster

ConversationsConversations

IntroductionsIntroductions Execution – Execution –

Stance, Stance, Special Considerations – Special Considerations –

Vocal Tone and InflectionVocal Tone and Inflection Physical limitationsPhysical limitations When Food PresentWhen Food Present With or Without HandshakeWith or Without Handshake

When to shakeWhen to shake When not to shakeWhen not to shake

Introductions to FosterIntroductions to Foster

ConversationsConversations

IntroductionsIntroductions Order – Position, Age/GenderOrder – Position, Age/Gender

Younger TO an OlderYounger TO an Older Junior TO Senior ManagerJunior TO Senior Manager Unofficial person to an Official personUnofficial person to an Official person Responsibility – host, not the new comer Responsibility – host, not the new comer

Introductions to FosterIntroductions to Foster

ConversationsConversations You are talking with: You are talking with:

Sally Vogl-Bauer, Faculty MemberSally Vogl-Bauer, Faculty Member Andrew ( you don’t know his last name)Andrew ( you don’t know his last name) What would you do?What would you do?

““Dr Vogl-Bauer I’d like you to meet Andrew. Andrew, this is Dr Dr Vogl-Bauer I’d like you to meet Andrew. Andrew, this is Dr Sally Vogl-Bauer of the Communication department”Sally Vogl-Bauer of the Communication department”

and the Chancellor joins your group?and the Chancellor joins your group?

Recap!Recap!

Do’s and Don’ts Social ComfortDo’s and Don’ts Social Comfort As a team come up with the most As a team come up with the most

““Dos and Don’ts” that you can.Dos and Don’ts” that you can.

Pick your top 3 in each categoryPick your top 3 in each categoryPhysical, Verbal, Duh?!Physical, Verbal, Duh?!

Pick a spokesperson for your groupPick a spokesperson for your group

Others we forgot?Others we forgot?

Where to learn moreWhere to learn more

ObservationObservation Etiquette Dinners/Dress for Success Etiquette Dinners/Dress for Success

eventsevents Any book by Letitia BaldrideAny book by Letitia Baldride THINK AHEAD!THINK AHEAD!