so you want to be an ally!

7/28/2019 So You Want to be an Ally!

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SO YOU WANT TOBE AN ALLY!

A zine on anti-oppression, allyship,and being a less shitty person


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Whats the point o this zine?Tis zine is a very basic guide to taking some very basic steps towardbeing a decent human being. I youre reading this, chances are youreinterested in anti-oppression, ending inequality, and allyship. (I yourenot interested in anti-oppression, ending inequality, or allyship [oo]then I would encourage you to read this anyway. And, uh, you shouldprobably re-evaluate your lie choices while youre at it.) I hope thiszine will give you the tools to gure out how to work in solidarity withall targets o oppression. While the specics o every system o oppres-sion (and how to ght them) are beyond the scope o this zine, thereare some basic principles o allyship that are relevant to all anti-oppres-

sion work.Hopeully this zine will leave you better prepared to conront your ownprivileges and work on dismantling the systems o oppression that giveyou those privileges. In the big picture, this zine is an attempt at a tinylittle drop in the bucket o anti-oppression.I am not an expert, and I make mistakes. I you think that somethingIve written in here is wildly (or even mildly) o, or is unclear, or youhave any other questions, please get in touch with me! My email ad-dress is [email protected] and I look orward to hear-ing rom olks.

Why Im writing this zineIm writing this zine or a couple dierent reasons. I am a

queer, trans, currently able-bodied, white, middle class, god-ree anti-

occupation Jew living in the United States. I am a target o multipleoppressions, and I am an agent o multiple oppressions. As a target ooppression, I need more allies. Seriously, yall need to step it up. Im re-ally tired o trying to convince well-meaning cisgender people that yes,cissexism exists in such progressive places as Olympia, Washington.At the same time, I need to do a better job o calling out ellow agentso oppression (and mysel) when we screw up. In the discussions I haveabout oppression and privilege, I nd mysel repeating the same argu-ments over and over again its as i every privilege-denying personwho doesnt want to conront their own role in perpetuating oppressionreads rom the same script. I wanted to collect my responses to thatscript in one

place, so others can read them as well and have more ammunition inthe ght against oppression.

I spend a lot o time engaging in arguments about oppression.Most o those arguments have to do with either cissexism/transphobiaor racism, so the examples I use in the zine primarily ocus on thosetwo systems o oppression. I dont mean to imply that struggles againstracism and transphobia are any more important than any other systemo oppression - there is no hierarchy o oppression. But I try to speak ospecics and rom my own experience rather than in the hypothetical,so I use examples with which I am amiliar.

Finally, I am writing this zine because Im sick o dealing with

well-meaning but privilege-denying progressives who wont takethe time to educate themselves. I live in a relatively progressive town.Teres a pretty strong radical presence here. As a trans person, I eelsaer being out about my gender identity than I have anywhere else Ivelived, although thats not saying much. Im misgendendered on a dailybasis. Using the bathroom is a terriying experience when I cant nd asingle occupancy unit. Im told implicitly and explicitly on a daily basisthat my identity isnt valid. Id be dealing with even more oppression iI were interested in medically transitioning. But time and time again,Ive met people who think that this town is some perect and accept-ing utopia, that we dont have any remaining issues to work on. Tisis blatantly alse. I am not going to detail all the hardships I ace on adaily basis, but I want to debunk the myth that just because you live ina town where you dont hear about gay bashings all the time or there

arent separate water ountains or white people and people o color ortheres a large visible queer population, doesnt mean youre not stillcapable o being oppressive.

None o the ideas in this zine are original or new. Please copyand distribute at will. I care more about making the world a less shittyplace than about receiving credit or ideas I didnt come up with on myown in the rst place.


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What is an ally? Why should I work toward allyship?An ally is someone who works to end oppression within their

personal and proessional lie. An ally works to end a orm o oppres-sion rom which they receive privilege. For example, a white personwho works to end racism, a cisgender person who works to end trans-phobia/cissexism, or a straight person who combats heterosexism.Allies align themselves with the people over whom they hold privilegeand work to dismantle the system o oppression that gives them thoseprivileges.

Working toward allyship is a matter o being a less shitty personand making the world a less shitty place. Oppression sucks. Working to

dismantle oppression is an obligation that all o us who are interestedin equality have.

GlossaryOppression: Te way one group exerts dominance and control overanother group.Agent o oppression: Te group that exerts dominance and control overanother group and receives certain privileges because o that.arget o oppression: Te group that is on the receiving end o a systemo oppression and is denied certain privileges because o that.

Dont tokenizeJust because you have a riend who is a target o a particular op-

pression, doesnt mean youre not capable o perpetuating that oppres-

sion. Te privilege-denying white person who says But I have a blackriend! I cant be racist! is an unortunate cliche, and I encounter thatcliche all the time. Systems o oppression are more than just personalprejudice. I you receive privilege rom that system o oppression, thenyou are capable o perpetuating that system o oppression even i youdont harbor any personal prejudice against its targets, even i you haveriends who are targets o that oppression.

When you say But I have a _____ riend!, you tokenize that person- youve reduced them to that characteristic as well as presumed theycan speak or all people who share that target status. I cant speak orall trans people - I I were to endorse some transphobic behavior in ariend o mine (which I wouldnt), that wouldnt negate any other transpersons right to call that person out on that behavior, and it wouldntnegate that persons obligation to end that oppressive behavior. Havingriends who are people o color doesnt give me a ree pass to be racist.

Ally? Says who?You do not get to call yoursel an ally. I dont get to call mysel

an ally. No one gets to bestow that title upon themsel. I certain peopleo color wish to call me an ally in order to identiy me as a saer personwho is actively conronting racism, thats great. But I still dont get touse that title on mysel. Calling onesel an ally takes away the agencyand denies the expertise o targets o oppression in that particular op-pression. Ive seen various cisgender people spout really terrible trans-phobic bullshit, then try to cover their asses by saying No, its ok, dontworry! Im an ally! rans people (including me) are experts in what itslike to be trans. By extension, trans people are experts in how to not beoppressive toward trans people. For someone to call themsel an ally totrans people is to say that they know exactly how to conront cissexism/transphobia. Unortunately, when we act in solidarity with targets ooppression, we are bound to screw up occasionally. Tis does not meanthat we are bad people, it means that we live in an oppressive culture

and unlearning oppression is a lielong process. I I call mysel an allyto people o color, Ive in eect said that Ive reached a state o perec-tion and I dont have any unlearning lef to do, which is blatantly alse.Allyship is a state to work toward, with the understanding that we maynever actually reach it.


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It should go without saying, but targets o oppression are experts intheir oppressionargets o oppression are experts in that particular oppression listento them! Tis cant be stressed enough! I a trans person tells you thatyoure being transphobic, you need to shut up and listen to them andbelieve them. I a person o color tells me Ive done something racist,my job is to listen to them, believe them, and stop doing whatever itwas that was racist. Even i you are a target o other oppressions, youare not an expert in an oppression rom which you receive privilege.Believe me, I can identiy transphobia when I see it. I have a hardertime identiying racism because as a white person, that is not my ex-

pertise. Every time you tell me that Im wrong, what youre doing isntactually transphobic, youre in eect telling me I dont really under-stand transphobia, and I get really angry at you or assuming youremore o an expert in my own experience than I am.

But why wont you educate me?!?It is not the responsibility o targets o oppression to educate

agents about that oppression. I get really tired o well-meaning cis-gender people who want me to explain to them (in a riendly, non-threatening tone, o course) all about how Im oppressed. Expecting atarget o oppression to educate you is tokenizing. We are not here toteach you. When you ask a target to explain their oppression to you,youre saying that youre too lazy to do your own research - youd rathera target do all the work or you. Asking a target o oppression does not

count as doing your own research. Tere are plenty o targets o oppres-sion who have already written extensively about their oppression - usethose resources!

Good job being a less shitty person! Do you want a cookie?Working toward allyship wont earn you any awards. Always

remember that anti-oppression is about the needs o targets o oppres-sion, not about the agents o oppression. Dont expect congratulationsor trying to meet some basic requirements or being a decent humanbeing. Dont expect praise rom targets o oppression or conrontingwhat we deal with every single day o our lives.

Personal prejudice or systematic oppression?Many people have told me, But I l ike this group o people! I cant beoppressive toward them! Wrong. Personal prejudice is not the same assystematic oppression. Although I dont harbor any intentional per-sonal prejudice against people o color, I still have white privilege andstill benet rom systematic and societal racism. (Because I live in amessed-up, racist culture, Im sure I have unintentional personal preju-dice against people o color. Part o working toward allyship is unlearn-ing that personal prejudice.)I you are not actively dismantling a system o oppression rom whichyou benet, you are complicit in the system o oppression. In other

words, you are perpetuating that oppression, regardless o whether ornot you think ondly o the targets o that oppression.

Youre going to screw upIn the ght to dismantle oppression, we all screw up occa-

sionally. Nobody is perect. I make mistakes, you make mistakes, weall make mistakes. Remember, working toward allyship is a lielongprocess. Getting called out or making a mistake is an honor - it meansyouve been given a chance to become a better person. Realizing youvescrewed up shouldnt be comortable, but it also shouldnt be cause towallow in your own guilt. Were not going to make a dierent disman-tling oppression i were too busy eeling bad about ourselves. Figureout what you did wrong, learn rom that mistake, be accountable, andmove on.

Pleeeeease orgive me!When you inevitably make a mistake and are called out, dont

expect orgiveness i you apologize. Im very glad when people quicklyrealize theyve made a mistake when I call them out, but waiting ororgiveness takes the ocus o working toward allyship o the ghtagainst oppression, and centers it on the agent who is working towardallyship. Remember, anti-oppression work is never about the desire oagents o oppression to eel good about themselves, it is about the needso targets o oppression to not be oppressed. When you make a bigdeal out o just how sorry you are, it stops being about the needs o thetarget and ocuses on just how badly youre hurt too. How hurt you areby having made a mistake (and most likely urthering my oppression)is completely irrelevant.


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so you want to be an ally!

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