sharon cracknell -pringles, visas and a glow in the dark jesus

8/20/2019 Sharon Cracknell -Pringles, Visas and a Glow in the Dark Jesus

1/21

About the Author

Sharon Cracknell was born in Yorkshire and has a passion for

travel. She has been travelling between work contracts since1999 and has always wanted to write about her manyexperiences. he opportunity arose when invited to Australiato house!sit for six months. Pringles, Visas and a Glow in the Dark Jesus is her first book.


2/21


3/21

"edication

his book is dedicated to my mum whose constantthoughtfulness made my travel memoir book possible...#

$ust wish she was here to read it.


4/21


5/21

haron Cracknell

PRINGLE , VI A AND

A GLOW IN THE DARK

JE U


6/21

Copyright© Sharon Cracknell %&'1()

he right of Sharon Cracknell to be identified as author of thiswork has been asserted by her in accordance with section ** and

*+ of the Copyright, "esigns and -atents Act 19++.

All rights reserved. o part of this publication may bereproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in anyform or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthori/ed act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claimsfor damages.

A C#- catalogue record for this title is available from the 0ritishibrary.

#S0 9*+ 1 *+2(( *2* + %paperback)#S0 9*+ 1 *+2(( *29 & %hardback)

www.austinmacauley.com

3irst -ublished %&'1()Austin 4acauley -ublishers td.

&( Canada S5uareCanary 6harf ondon712 (8

-rinted and bound in reat 0ritain


7/21

Acknowledgments

6ith thanks to :ane Sloan, my fellow Sydney 6riters Coursestudent, who gave up so much of her time to proofread my book. hanks too to ynn :ackson and "avid aughton for entrusting me with their home and cats and for a beautifulgarden in which to write, :ulie Sugden and Caroline -inkneyfor taking the time to read my book and giving me the muchneeded feedback and to my dad who supports everyirresponsible and nonconforming thing # do.


8/21

Chapter 1 Arrest

21st December 2004

# knew something was seriously wrong when four policemenentered my classroom and signalled for me to leave withthem.

he one who looked to be in charge was shouting at me,speaking fast in wild bursts of #ndonesian and sweeping his

arms around the classroom then pointing at me. All # could dowas look blankly at him and do the two handed shrug gesture,showing him # did not understand a word of what he wastrying to tell me.

3or once the children looked entertained and interested.heir normally gla/ed expressions and yawns had transformedinto fascination and curiosity as they watched the impromptushow. heir mobile phones are out ; this could go viral before# have even left the classroom<

As # follow the policemen out of the classroom my mindis spinning... has someone planted drugs in my bags= Surely #haven>t inadvertently committed some kind of crime=... ?as acomplaint been made against me by a pupil>s parent=8uestions are reeling around in my head as # frantically try tofathom out why this is happening. 4y mouth has gone so dry

and my tongue feels like sandpaper. 4y face has turned coldas if someone has placed a damp flannel on it. his must be amistake. hey>ll soon realise their error # reassure myself.

he school # am teaching at is in -ekanbaru, which is thecapital of the province, @iau, on the #ndonesian island of


9/21

Sumatra. #t has a population of around 1.1 million and most of its money is made from the oil industry. # remember meetingsome contractors who worked for the oil giant Caltex whohave a big site there. #t is also the gateway into #ndonesia fromSingapore. 4ost travellers head straight through as there areno particular highlights or attractions to see in the city, unlessyou include the countless rats that are scurrying around on theroads and pavements or perhaps the raw sewage in theroadside gullies.

-ekanbaru received an award for being the cleanest largecity in #ndonesia for the seventh consecutive time. he $udges

must have been either blind and anosmiac %no sense of smell)or they were bribed.

# am led out into the corridor where ki, the school>sfinance controller is waiting to speak with me. ki is also thenephew of the school owner, Alinudin. ?e is a young#ndonesian man in his early thirties with short, black, slick! backed hair and wire rimmed spectacles. ?e is a small man inheight with a very serious nature. 4ore importantly, he is alsothe only 7nglish speaking #ndonesian person at the school.

ki is animatedly talking to the policemen and every sooften he points at me. # cannot understand a word that is beingsaid. After several minutes of conversation ki turns to meand assures me that this is normal.

BSharon, there is no need to worry as they $ust want to seeyour passport.

# scratch my head baffled. B6hy=B#t>s $ust procedure ; this is normal ki continued

Bhere is nothing for you to worry about.B# don>t understand ; has every other teacher in the school

been asked to show their passports=ki is now looking even more flustered and blurts

BSharon, you cannot tell the police that you are working hereat the school as a teacher. #f you do you will be put in $ail for

five years as you are not on the correct working visaDapow< #t felt like a blow to the head. ?e was rightE # was

not on the correct working visa. # wasn>t even on a working


10/21

visa. # had entered #ndonesia on a F' day tourist visa ; asinstructed by the school>s "irector of Studies.

he policeman then decides he wants to take my photograph ; perhaps my hair was looking particularly nicethat day # don>t know, however, # was forced to stare at thecamera for my picture to be taken. #t was one of the old-olaroid cameras that spits out a grainy picture with morewhite framing than photograph. #t was not the most flattering photo and under normal circumstances # would probably haveasked for another to be taken, but the situation warrantedsilence on my part.

# could see ki from the corner of my eye chatting tosomeone on his mobile phone and he then thrusts the phoneinto my hand saying his uncle wants to speak with me. # hadnever met nor spoken with the elusive school owner sincestarting my teaching contract at the school several weeksearlier. ?e was like a mythical character amongst all the other teachers. 4any tales were told about how he had sacked other teachers because he $ust didn>t like them. Another story wasthat when a teacher asked to leave his employment contractearly the owner was furious and threatened to plant drugs inhis bags if he tried to leave< here were also rumours that hewas a known criminal with lots of shady practices. o be 5uitehonest we were all a bit scared of these stories and $ust hopedthat we never got on his wrong side. # think # may havescrewed that one up today.

# put the phone to my ear B?ello.B?ello Sharon, said the voice on the phone Bhis is

Alinudin, ki>s uncle. ki has told me the situation and #would like to assure you that # will sort this out.

# am unsure exactly how he is going to Gsort this out> butthat sounded good so far.

Alinudin then said BYou must not tell the police that youare teaching at the school. ell them that you are $ust

observing other teachers and have not yet started your teaching contract.

# am beginning to understand that # am in a very badsituation. his is not 7ngland where there are set laws and the


11/21

worst that could happen is you are politely asked to leave thecountry. You would probably even get your plane ticket paidfor by the HD government< o, this is #ndonesia. ne of thetop three most corrupt countries in the world. Anything goes<

Alinudin continues BSharon, you could be $ailed for fiveyears if you say you are teaching. "o you understand=

"o # understand== ow # understand why all my friendswere asking me why # didn>t go to Spain or #taly to teach.hey are closer to home and have proper legal systems plusflushing toilets and drinkable tap water without having toworry about waste disposal contamination.

# agree to lie to the police ; what other option do # have= #don>t particularly relish the idea of spending five years in an#ndonesian prison. #>ve seen the Schapelle Corby I movieand the notorious Deroboken prison in 0ali where up to 1(inmates share the same cramped, dirty cells with mats on thefloor for beds. he toilet a hole in the floor and the shower a bucket of cold, dirty water.

ki and two of the Goffice boys> employed by the schoolto assist with a multitude of tasks from photocopyingclassroom handouts to unblocking the generally overusedschool toilet, were to escort me to the police station. he four policemen straddled their motorbikes whilst ki and # climbedonto the back of our motorbikes which were being driven byAris and Slamat ; the office boys. # am not sure whether theyseriously thought # was going to try and make a break for it en

route to the police station, however, they made sure we weretrapped either side by their motorbikes. o onlookers wecould have been mistaken for Gvery important people> withGpolice escorts>, the reality unfortunately being it was theGcriminals> being guarded by the Glaw officials>.

he heat and humidity outside the building wasoppressive. Sweat immediately appears on my face like # have $ust finished my Cindy Crawford "I" workout %believe me,

Cindy certainly makes you sweat). #t was difficult to breathein the dense air. #t was like being in a sauna. he roads are fullof motorbikes and cars speeding recklessly by. @emarkably,


12/21

even though they all seem to drive insanely, there are never any accidents. hey are either very skilled or extremely lucky<

he convoy of motorbikes sets off with ki and Arisracing alongside me and Slamat. ki immediately startsshouting across to me, Bet me do all the talking ; don>t sayanything. ?ow ridiculous< ?e was the only person who couldspeak 7nglish. # could say # was a mad axe woman and # have $ust killed ten people and they would be none the wiser. # wasrelying totally on ki to translate what the police were saying.

Speeding through the streets of -ekanbaru we finallyreached the police station. As # walked through the doors #

was immediately smacked in the face by a wall of cigarettesmoke. 0lue swirls of mist sticking to my hair and clothesmaking me smell like # smoked sixty 0enson J ?edges a day.#t was an open plan station with a small array of datedfurniture that looked like it had come directly from a rubbishskip. eak seemed to feature 5uite strongly, together with3ormica tables with rusted chrome legs and trims. @etro isvery much in fashion nowadays so perhaps it now looksmodern. A layer of grime coated most surfaces especially thecomputer keyboards and monitors where the staff sat chainsmoking. 4uted light created lots of shadows and dark corners. he room felt heavy and depressing.

A plain clothed policeman sat at the desk near the frontdoorE however, there was nothing plain about his clothes. ?ewas wearing a red and green silk bomber $acket and black

aviator sunglasses %with the dim lighting and cigarette smoke #am unsure as to how much he could actually see). "ue to thetilting position of his black, curly hair # could only assumethat he was also wearing a wig. Saves washing your smokefilled hair every night # suppose. A cigarette was hangingfrom his lips as he watched me enter the station.

4y heart was racing now and # was becoming morealarmed at the whole situation. 4y internal hysteria increased

but strangely all # could think of was that this guy looks likehe has come off the set of a 19*'s police detective televisionshow.


13/21

6here has ki gone= # spot him in the corner of the roomheatedly talking to one of the policemen. h od, this isgetting out of hand. # am starting to properly panic now as theseriousness of it all sinks in. # could go to $ail for what # havedone, but it isn>t my fault. #t is the school>s fault for notgetting me the correct visa. h od, oh od, oh od ; this isnot good.

he Ginterrogation> went on hour after hour. ki wastranslating and # loosely use that word as there didn>t seemlike a lot of Gtranslating> was actually happening. ?e did sayto me that he had been told that if # am violating the rules of

the tourist visa, the sentence would be five yearsimprisonment. # clearly had Gviolated> the tourist visa rulesand at this point # could actually feel my liberty slowlyslipping away. 6ho was going to help me= one of myfamily or friends were here. #n fact, they were not even awareof my arrest<

After F hours # actually thought my lungs were about toexplode. 4y lips were so dry it felt that they were stickingtogether like Ielcro. # needed water. # was dehydrating. 4yeyes were stinging from the continuous flow of smoke as the policemen puffed on cigarette after cigarette.

hen through the ha/e # could see one of the officerswalking towards us with two cans of what looked like coke or lemonade. ?allelu$ah


14/21

he keyboard was so caked in grime that you reallycouldn>t see what letter was printed on each key. herelentless smoking had created a tacky film on every surfacemaking each key stick like glue onto the keyboard then slowlyrelease back up. -ower cuts were a regular occurrence in-ekanbaru, so # was praying that we didn>t have one now or else we would have restart the whole statement.

6e are now approaching our fifth hour at the policestation and # am still clueless as to what ki has been sayingto the policemen. # am occasionally asked 5uestions by kisuch asE

BAre you teaching 7nglish at the school=4y answer is Bo # am not teaching 7nglish as

instructed.BAre you employed as a teacher by the school=Bo.BAre you being paid a salary to work there=Bo # am not.ki finally turns to me with an G#>m really sorry about

this> look on his face and tells me that the police haveconfirmed that # am a suspect along with his uncle and # will be locked in a cell overnight and every other night until hisuncle surrenders himself to the police station for 5uestioning.

# am now shaking like a leaf and my head feelslightheaded and fu//y ; as if # had vertigo. ?orror and dreadfill my entire body as the realisation of my situation sinks in. #

am being arrested and imprisoned and there is absolutelynothing # can do about it. 4y life at this moment could not getany worse.


15/21

Chapter 2 A Teaching Contract

January 2004

o understand how # found myself teaching on a tourist visain #ndonesia # need to tell you about events leading up to myarrival in -ekanbaru.

# had $ust completed a one month intensive 73 course

%eaching 7nglish as a 3oreign anguage) at eeds4etropolitan Hniversity and was now 5ualified to teach7nglish overseas. #t was a feat in itself $ust to survive thecourse. After being given a list of the Gmust have> grammar books for fledgling young 7nglish teachers on day one, on daytwo we were teaching a class of authentic, real!life foreigners<hey were from all corners of the worldK Chinese, :apanese,Argentinean, Dorean, 4alaysian and mani. hey were

students at the university who had paid L1 to come to thelessons to practise their 7nglish. # personally felt that even L1was a bit overpriced to watch novice teachers stutter andstammer in front of the classroom, hot and deep crimson facesglowing with the embarrassment of it all.

0ut improve we did with endless nights of writing lesson plans into the early hours of the morning. ne lesson plan thatsticks in my mind was using the sub$ect of Che uevara as thecontext of the lesson whilst teaching active and passive verbtenses. Che uevara= 6as he Spanish= 6as he the goodlooking one with the beret= So, in order not to look even moreof an idiot, # spent all night researching who Che was. # mean,


16/21

come on, # had an Argentinean girl in my class. She surelywill have learnt all about Che at school and be correcting allmy facts should # not get them right. he research paid off and# finished the lesson having avoided awkward and political5uestions.

0eaming with pride we all 5ualified from the class andwere proud owners of 73 certificates, wondering where inthe world we were going to end up.

ow # needed to find a teaching post overseas. # initiallylooked at a school in Iiseu, -ortugal and applied for ateaching position there. # was kindly told by the agency that

they are only considering teachers with experience at themoment. 6ould # be interested in -oland=

# then applied for a post in aples, #taly... applicationdeclined. hailand... application declined. You apparently, bylaw, need to have a degree to teach in hailand ; sub$ectirrelevant as long as you have one.

# then had an interview in 4anchester at the 7nglish 3irstoffices on Chorlton Street in the city centre. 7nglish 3irst havea large network of schools worldwide, their main locations being China, @ussia and #ndonesia. 7nglish 3irst is a brandname which offers franchises to localindividualsMbusinessmen. his allows them to use the 7nglish3irst name %mainly for the school front, text books, teachingaids, etc.) for their school, which is run and owned by thelocal individual and not 7nglish 3irst. 3ortunately they

appeared very interested in me and my 5uestionable teachingskills.

# was immediately drawn to #ndonesia as a destination.@ussia was too cold. China was slightly appealing but the pullof South 7ast Asian food did it for me. All those spices andflavours ; lemongrass, chillies, lime, galangal ; yum, and of course, asi oreng, that lip!smacking #ndonesian fried ricedish. 4y decision was made.

4y details were taken by 7nglish 3irst and distributedamongst their various schools in #ndonesia. # $ust had to waitto be contacted by one of the school managers who wereknown as "irector of Studies. # was thinking 0ali would be


17/21

nice. All those lovely beaches and palm trees. hen # receivedan e!mail from the "irector of Studies at the 7nglish 3irstschool in -ekanbaru.

So not 5uite the idyllic beach setting that # had imagined but it was a person interested in employing me as a teacher.4y spirits were lifted.

?is name was ary and he wrote that he had beentravelling and working for almost F' years. ?e described-ekanbaru as Ga sleepy little town compared to :akarta or 0aliand it was very beautiful in many areas>. ?ow lovely does thatsound= hings were looking good. ?e wanted to speak with

me and gave me his telephone number for me to contact him.ver that summer we spoke on the phone and swapped

numerous e!mails. 6e became buddies. ary was Americanand he was employed as the school>s "irector of Studies ; hewas basically the school manager.

?e told me all about the school ; they had amediaMcomputer lab with 9 computers, living costs ; a do/eneggs cost only &' cents, public transport ; only &' cents per ride, or # could buy a second hand motorbike for only N12dollars. 4y monthly salary would be a whopping (.( million@upiah which sounds a lot of money but at that time theexchange rate was 9,&'' @upiahs to the American dollar somy monthly wage was, in fact, less than NO''. ?owever this,apparently, put me in the high earning bracket in #ndonesia.?e sent me photos of contented, smiling staff and pupils

!everyone looked so happy. # couldn>t wait to start<ary told me that my first three weeks at the school

would be spent observing the other teachers, sitting at the back of the classrooms watching and getting a feel for theteaching methods used at the school and to learn about thecontent of the text books being used by the pupils. # would not be given any of my own classes until this orientation periodended.

-erfect. his teaching $ob was sounding pretty awesometo me. ot only do # get to go to an exciting and exoticcountry to teach 7nglish, # am being mollycoddled andhandled with care. 0eing the novice teacher with no previous


18/21

experience # will be protected and sheltered by the other teachers until # am fully e5uipped to perform as a teacher atthe school. # will definitely be the envy of all the other 73graduates when # tell them about this teaching offer.

# was given specific instructions by e!mail to fly viaSingapore and not :akarta. # am to stay overnight in Singaporeat their recommended hotel and the following day # am to purchase a ferry ticket to take me across the water to an#ndonesian island called 0atam. 6hen # arrive at theimmigration in 0atam centre, # am instructed to go to the Gvisaon arrival> counter and ask for a tourist visa. his will cost me

N&( American dollars. # am also instructed not to mention that# am going to a teaching post as they will organise myworking visa after # arrive in -ekanbaru via their agent inSingapore. As # will not be starting my actual teaching position for another three weeks, the working visa is not yetre5uired.

ow probably alarm bells should have rang at this point but they didn>t. 6hy should they= # had spent the last four months swapping e!mails with my buddy ary and thearrangements were very clear and precise. 6hat couldconceivably go wrong=

o going back. he flight was booked. enants werewaiting in the wings to move into my house for the nexttwelve months. 4y personal possessions were boxed up and placed in storage. ow it was $ust me, my trusted backpack

and my wheelie suitcase full of the Gmust have> grammar books and teaching notes.

3riends and family were so pleased for me. # was gettingcomments likeE

BYou!e certainly landed on your "eet with this #ob $ sounds ama%ing&'

()ow did you manage to "ind such a good *nglish school

to work "or+'

(ounds like you are not going to ha!e any -roblemsteaching there'

h the ignorance of it all. hey say that it>s bliss and itwas.


19/21

he airport farewell to my parents was particularlyemotional this time as # was going overseas for twelvemonths. 4y previous airport goodbyes had been for travelslasting only two to three months. heir parting wordsnormally on the lines of Bstay out of trouble and Bdon>t doanything silly ending with Bbe careful which is a bit likesayingE don>t en$oy yourself, don>t do anything that involves a bit of risk and certainly don>t do anything hair raising< 0ut #always nodded, dutifully confirming # would comply withtheir words.

his was different. 4y 4um who is normally calm and

composed suddenly burst into tears and grabbed me,s5uee/ing me tightly. -arting words not needed this time. # amnow uncontrollably overcome with sadness. 6e both knowthis will be the last time we will see each other for some time."ads are a totally different breed. ?e nonchalantly watches usand when we have peeled ourselves apart # get a brief embraceand a pat on the back. hen # leave them standing together arm in arm as # go through customs. # do the final turn aroundto look at them and wave before disappearing into the hub of the airport.

# am on my way to #ndonesia to start my new teachingcareer.


20/21

Chapter 3 Arrival in Indonesia

4th December 2004

# followed my written instructions diligently and spent myfirst night in Singapore. he land of many B"on>ts. "id youknow that Singapore has some of the strangest laws and thesentences are pretty harsh compared to western countries= #>ll

give you a few examples of the really odd ones. .lushing o" -ublic toilets ; you will be fined if you arecaught not flushing the toilet after using it. -olice officers dorandom checks. ?ow embarrassing would that be= 0eingarrested as you walk out of the toilet cubicle due to the policeman watching you not hearing the flush go<

/hewing gum $ "ue to chewed gum being stuck on pavements, subway stations and cars the Singapore

government banned the sale of chewing gum. he law hasnow relaxed so you can now chew it ; $ust not buy it. 4yadvice would be to bring some gum with you.

o walking around your own house naked ; #f you arecaught walking naked in your own home then it is consideredindecent and a form of pornography. ot 5uite sure how theyenforce this law=

o s-itting ; in order to maintain Singapore>s reputationfor cleanliness spitting is illegal. #f you are caught spitting youwill receive a substantial fine. ?ow would the Chinese cope inSingapore= 7very man and his dog spits in China.


21/21

0ut none of this concerned me. 4y body clock was amess. Singapore is eight hours ahead of the HD. # had $ust losteight hours of my life. # was exhausted from the flight and theanticipation of my new teaching $ob. # $ust crashed in my dark room dreaming of happy, smiling pupils.

he next day # caught a taxi to the 6orld rade Centre,which is where the ferry terminal is to get across to the#ndonesian island of 0atam.

ow, alarm bells should have rung again # know... mynext instructions were to buy a return ticket to Singapore.6hy a return ticket= # wasn>t intending on going back for at

least 1& months. "id # 5uestion this= o, of course not. 4yentire faith was in my buddy ary who had arranged my newlife teaching in #ndonesia.

?aving arrived by ferry to the island of 0atam # thendutifully made my way to the immigration centre and went tothe Gvisa on arrival> counter and purchased my tourist visa for a bargain price of N&( dollars. # then purchased my flightticket to take me from 0atam to -ekanbaru on the Sumatraisland.

?urray... after fifty minutes of flying over a small bit of ocean # finally arrived at my destination -ekanbaru.

# am approached by a tall, stocky bald man with dark piercing eyes like pieces of coal in a snowman>s face.

B?ello Sharon he drawled B#>m ary. -leased to meetyou finally

osh< his was my buddy ary. "irector of Studies.B?i ary. ood to meet you at last and put a face to the

voice and the e!mails.0ut what a face. # was not expecting my buddy ary to

look like he did. ?is American twang had made me imaginehim to look like 4atthew 4cConaughey or 0radley Cooper.#nstead # was looking at a larger and taller version of "r 7vilfrom the Austin -owers movies.

he intensity of the heat hits me straight away as we exitthe airport. 4y face instantly has a wet layer of sweat as my body swiftly reacts to the humidity.

sharon cracknell -pringles, visas and a glow in the dark jesus

Documents