session for parents on parenting
DESCRIPTION
A lecture on parenting for parents.TRANSCRIPT
Challenges of Parenting
Dr. Ravi Samuel MA., MPhil., Ph.D.
Cognitive Psychotherapist
www.urclinic.com
Major Focus
• Family
• Spirituality
• Academics
• Social Interactions
• Recreational Activities
• Concerning relationships and habits
The role of parents
• Constantly Challenging
Academics / Projects / Extra-curricular / Recreation
Children’s emotional needs
Demands from teachers
Finance – spending habits
Managing performance
Problems in School/Family/Peers
• Behavioural Problems
• Sidelined
• Branded ‘Poor Student’
• Written Off Student
Enhancing Academic Performance
• Poorly Trained Cognition
• Poor Study Skills
• Emotional Problems
• Problems in School/Family/Peers
Ways of Improving
• Poorly Trained Cognition
• Simple Cognitive Exercises
• Specialised computer programme
• Simple memory, concentration exercises
Training the Cognition
• Poor Attention• Poor Concentration• Poor Registration• Poor Retrieval Skills• Recalling Unlearned
Material• Misinterpretation of
‘memorised’ for ‘understood’
• Cognitive Retraining Method to Improve Cognitive functions
• ‘Exercises’
• Destructive Thoughts towards learning
Faulty Study SkillsDouble Track Thought Process
Scanning physically and Mentally
Breaking quite too Often
Searching Obsessional Organisation
Looking for a break
Conversations
Telephone etc Faulty Posture
Wrong Timing
Poor organisation of materials
Study Behaviour
• Poor Study Behaviour • Behavioural Exercises
• Insight and Fading of faulty Behaviour
• Relearning exercises
Emotional ProblemsNegative Attitude towards Self
Negative Attitude by teachers
Negative Attitude by peers/siblings/family
Negative Attitude towards studies
Negative Attitude towards cognitive abilities
Negative Attitude towards Life
Emotional Problems
• Persistent Negative Emotions
• Poor management of Emotions
• Lack of Positive Emotions
• Creating Positive Experiences
Problem Children!
• Learning Difficulty
• Students with Emotional problems
• Students with Personality problems
Lack of Attention/Hyperactivity
• ADHD
• Any attempt to calm the child may be futile
• Specific activity based strategies can be developed to increase a desired behaviour
Dyslexia
• Problem with language
• Problem with writing
• Problem with calculation
• Host of emotional and behavioural Problems
Slow Learners• Normal IQ but slow in
learning
• Little below average IQ
• Poor concentration/memory etc
Distracted Group of students
• All classes will have a clique which are going in the wrong path influencing one another
• Pride in deviant and undesirable behaviour.
cutting classes/movies/love
The Natural Response
• Anger
• Frustration
• Punishments
• Helplessness
The trained response• Talking to the child
• Dealing with the problem as a family
• Reporting to Teachers/principal
• Referring to a Counsellor
Techniques for effectiveness
• More priority to personality than performance
• Focus on future performance
• Avoid talking to a student when you are very angry – what ever be the provocation
• Have a teacher by your side when talking to a student.
• Spending time with problem students will yield good results
• Focus and encourage good behaviour in problem children
Techniques for effectiveness
• Sensitive to student’s emotions
• Do not Focus on Performance
• Alert about Problem children
• Dealing at different levels – Family – Friends – Family – Relatives – School [Depending on the comfort of the child]
Academic
• Creating a conducive academic atmosphere
• Developing the habit of Reading
• Providing Supervision
• Being at home/sitting with the child
• Don’t find faults
Emotional Management
• Acceptance
• Criticism
• Repeated
Appreciation
Parents and Emotions
Deprivation
Pampering
Enhancing Performance
• Responsibility
• Involvement
• Application
Motivation
• Parent Student
• Repeatedly advising == Nagging
• Lecture on others == Stupid Idea
• High Salary/Status == ?!? *.@ ?
• Motivational Speech == No one listens
Motivation
• Develop study habits
• Provide Assistance
• Supervise the work
• Increase study time over weeks or months
• Appreciate small efforts in front of others
Motivation Just Talking Wont Yeild Results
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• Perspective with which parents try to motivate their children
• Needs different set of skills to shift from one state of performance to another.
Motivation
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10
15
20
25
30
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40
1st Qtr 2nd Qtr 3rd Qtr 4th Qtr
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Emotional Management
• Low marks
• low self esteem
• Guilt
• Shame
• Embarrassment
• Emotionally supportive
• Brain functions better in good mood.
• Do not forget that the student is far more upset than you!
Thank You
Ladies and Gentlemen