11

WHOLE HEALTH COACHING

Session 1 Day 2

22

WHOLE HEALTH COACHING

LISTENING

3

LISTENING

Being present enables and allows us to listen.

Listening involves paying attention to what our client/partner is saying or not saying, both verbally and non-verbally, the feeling and

meaning behind the words.

4

5

COACHING QUALITY: LISTENING/EMPATHY

As you watch the video…

Bring attention to your thoughts, feelings, and reactions.

6

VIDEO

Empathy—The Human Connection to Patient Care (Cleveland Clinic)

https://youtu.be/cDDWvj_q-o8

7

8

LISTENING EXERCISE #2

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

9

DEBRIEF

What was it like just to listen?

What was your experience being listened to without interruption?

How does listening relate to empathy?

1010

WHOLE HEALTH COACHING

TYPES OF LISTENING

11

LISTENING

How can you tell if someone is really paying attention and listening to you?

When are times when you don’t listen well?

What gets in your way of listening well?

12

TWO TYPES OF LISTENING

Primarily Self-focused Primarily Other-focused

13

SELF-FOCUSED LISTENING

• Multi-tasking, distracted

• Formulate responses

• Filter through past experiences, history, assumptions

• Personal stories, agenda, advice

14

OTHER-FOCUSED LISTENING

• Beginner’s Mind, Not-knowing

• Genuinely curious and interested

• Attention to body language, facial expression, tone of voice

• Attuned to energy and emotions behind the words

• Allow for silence, space, pause

15

THE PAUSE

“The PAUSE: that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, . . . which often

achieves a desired effect where no combination of words. . . could

accomplish it.”Mark Twain

16

LISTENING EXERCISE #3

17

DEBRIEF

What did you notice about your own listening?

18

VIDEO

It’s Not About the Nail

https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg

19

BREAK

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY

2020

WHOLE HEALTH COACHING

COMMUNICATION SKILLS:REFLECTION

21

COMMUNICATION SKILL: REFLECTION

Giving the client back his/her words, thoughts, feelings . . .

Serves to let the client know that you have HEARD them Serves to CLARIFY Builds RAPPORT

22

COMMUNICATION SKILL: REFLECTION

Allows client to hear what was said . . .

PAUSE to allow for reflection and response REFLECT on important values and values-conflicts DEEPENS the conversation, exploration, and

understanding

23

COMMUNICATION SKILL: REFLECTION

Two types of reflections: Simple Complex

24

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS

Simple Reflections:• Parroting• Paraphrasing• Summarizing

25

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARROTING

• Using the client’s SAME words• Not a question• Can be POWERFUL

26

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARROTING

ExampleClient: “I don’t want to be here.”Coach: “You don’t want to be here.”

27

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARROTING

Example (Stated With a Questioning Tone)

Client: “I don’t want to be here.”Coach: “You don’t want to be here?”

28

PARROTING – BATTING PRACTICE

29

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARAPHRASING

RESTATE what the client has said using other words

30

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: PARAPHRASING

ExampleClient: “I have tried this, this, and this and haven’t been successful.”Coach: “You’ve learned what doesn’t work for you.”

31

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: SUMMARIZING

• Brings several key points from client together in one statement

• Can be parroted, paraphrased, or a combination

• Can be used as a transition or to end a session

• Remember Bottom-lining

32

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: SUMMARIZING

ExampleClient: “I’ve tried everything – biking, swimming, running – with not so great results. I want to give up sometimes but I really want to get back to my old self.”

Coach: “You’ve tried a lot that hasn’t worked for you, you’re frustrated and yet you want this.”

33

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS: SUMMARIZING

Example (summary as a transition)

Coach: “You have brought a lot of thoughts, ideas, and challenges to our conversation today. Which one is most important to address today?”

34

COMPLEX REFLECTIONS

• Goes beyond what the client has said• A guess or hunch at deeper meaning,

inferred value, or emotion• Use intuition

35

COMPLEX REFLECTIONS

Example

Client: “I’m not getting the service I think I deserve.”

Coach: “You have higher expectations.”

36

COMPLEX REFLECTIONS

Example (reflecting emotion)

Client: “I’m not getting the service I think I deserve...”

Coach: “You’re frustrated.”

37

COMPLEX REFLECTIONS

Double-Sided Reflection

• Used when clients present two sides of an issue, having ambivalence, and/or value-conflicts

• Intent is to honor and explore both sides

• End with the side toward CHANGE

38

DOUBLE-SIDED REFLECTIONS

ExampleClient: “I know exercise is important for me. But I just don’t seem to be able to get off the couch.”

Coach: “On the one hand spending time on the couch has appeal, AND on the other hand exercise is important for you.”

39

COMPLEX REFLECTIONS – REFLECTING NONVERBAL CUES

60-90% of communication is Nonverbal

• Tone of voice, rate of speech, SILENCE• Facial expressions, eye contact, posture,

gestures, energy, body orientation, etc.This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

40

SIMPLE REFLECTIONS – PRACTICE

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

41

COMPLEX REFLECTION - PRACTICE

4242

WHOLE HEALTH COACHING

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

43

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

What it ISA coaching skill that recognizes and brings attention (in the form of a reflection) to the Client’s:

QualitiesStrengthsEfforts

LearningsProgressSuccesses

44

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

What it is NOT• Cheerleading• Encouraging• Supporting• Celebrating

45

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Language of Cheerleading & Encouragement

I like that!

Wonderful!

46

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Cheerleading

“Wow, that’s awesome!”“I’m impressed!“I love that!”“Awesome!”“Good, good”“Great job!”

Acknowledgment

“You made a lot of progress.”“You showed real determination.”“You made some big changes.”“You’ve learned a lot.”“You have worked hard.”“Your commitment paid off.”

Offering words of acknowledgment as reflections – reflecting qualities, strengths, efforts, learnings, successes and progress

47

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

48

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS – DYAD EXERCISE

Speaker – speak about an accomplishment, success or triumph in your life

Listener – Offer an acknowledgment in the form of a reflection

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

49

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

DEBRIEF

What is it like to receive words of acknowledgment that reflect your strengths, successes, and progress?

What do you think the value is in this offering – rather than words of personal praise coming from someone else?

5050

WHOLE HEALTH COACHING

INQUIRY(QUESTIONING)

51

COMMUNICATION SKILL: INQUIRY

This important skill in Coaching comes from other-focused listening and involves two main types of questions . . .

Closed-ended Questions

Open-ended Questions

52

CLOSED-ENDED QUESTIONS

Easily answered with either Yes / No Generally do not lead to new insight / understanding Can be useful as a transition, e.g., “Are you ready to set a goal?” When asking permission, e.g., “May I offer you some resources?”

53

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

Usually requires more than a yes / no, or one- word response Explore what is important or valued, often encourages person

to talk and volunteer new information Generally leads to deeper insight and gets at what is not

immediately obvious, i.e. “What?” “How?” “Tell me more about…”

54

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

Comes out of other-focused listening and is present or future focused

Reflects curiosity for the sake of the other (vs. for the sake of the coach)

What about “Why” Questions?

55

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

Ask the question – remember to bottom-line

Wait for the answer - this may mean a moment of silence. Remember the pause. You do not have to fill the space.

Listen to what is said and reflect

56

INQUIRY – DYAD EXERCISE

57

INQUIRY – DYAD EXERCISE

Speaker – Share for 1 minute on any of the questions on your handout

Listener – Ask a follow-up question. Note if it is open or closed.

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

5858

WHOLE HEALTH COACHING

OVERVIEW OF THE WHOLE HEALTH COACHING PROCESS MODEL

59

HEALTH COACHING PROCESS MODEL

6060

WHOLE HEALTH COACHING

HEALTH COACHING PROCESS MODEL -STAGE I

MISSION/ASPIRATION/PURPOSE

61

VIDEO

Dream Rangers—What Do You Live For?

https://youtu.be/bp7S56aoIhU

62

63

DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS - REFLECTION

1. What were some dreams/aspirations you had when you were younger?

2. Are you in any way currently living out those dreams/aspirations? If so, How?

3. What are some dreams/aspirations you have for yourself in the future?

4. What do your dreams/aspirations tell you about what is important to you now (values)?

64

DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS - SHARING

65

DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS - SHARING

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

Speaker – Share for 3 minutes on one or more of the questions from the reflection activity

Listener – Use other-focused listening, reflecting, and open-ended questions to dig deeper

66

DEVELOPING A PERSONAL MISSION (MAP)AND CREATING A VISION

One Way to Start a Conversation

• “What’s the matter?”

• “What concerns you about your health?”

• “What are your problems today?”

A Different Way to Start a Conversation

• “What matters most?”

• “What do you want your health for?”

• “What is your vision of your best possible health?”

6767

WHOLE HEALTH COACHING

VALUES AND VALUE CONFLICTS

68

VALUES

Thinking about values…..

•Some are identified easily

•Other values become clear only with deeper exploration

69

EXPLORING VALUES

Jot down values that are important to you right now.

• Which of these values are priorities in your life right now?

• Which of these do you want more of?

• Which do you find sometimes “compete” with each other?

70

IDENTIFYING OTHERS’ VALUES

How do you know what’s important to someone else (their values)?

• Ask them

• Notice actions/behaviors

• Listen for emotions

71

PEAK EXPERIENCE – DYAD EXERCISE

Share a peak experience (positive “highlight”/special time in your life).

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC

72

FRUSTRATING EXPERIENCE – DYAD EXERCISE

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

Share a frustrating experience (something that “gets on your nerves”,

leaves you irritated or annoyed).

74

DAILY FEEDBACK SURVEY

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY

• Your feedback is important to us

• We love specificity!

• Your feedback informs and impacts our course content and revisions

• Please take 3-4 minutes to offer us feedback

• Rejoin the group for any additional assignments, input, and questions you might have for us