September 4, 2014 • VOLUme 67 • ISSUe 5 w mArtLet.CA f /mArtLetUVIC t@themArtLet

the UNIVerSItY OF VICtOrIA’S INDepeNDeNt NeWSpAper

UVicfor

Dummiespage 11

What you need to knoW about

• INDIgeNOUS mAppINg pAge 3

• A FIrSt-YeAr’S FIrSt DAY pAge 8

• bOOkS! pAge 15

• prepArINg FOOD pAge 19

• mAkINg FrIeNDS WIth YOUr prOFeSSOrS pAge 23

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SEE WHAT VIKES NATION

IS ALL ABOUT!

SEPT 5, 12–4PM | OUTSIDE THE SUB

Meet with UVic Vikes varsity teams, learn about Vikes recreation progamming, listen to our live DJ and bands on the roof of the SUB...and have FUN with over 30 great booths with give-aways and lots of games to play!

Fill out your o� cial ThunderFest Passport to be eligible to win one of three $500 dollar prizes at the home-opener Vikes socccer games later that night!

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VIKES SOCCER HOME OPENERS VS UBC THUNDERBIRDSThe University of Victoria Vikes men’s and women’s soccer teams will kick-start their CIS campaign at home against mainland rivals UBC Thunderbirds on Sept. 5 at Centennial Stadium.

Last year, the Vikes men � nished fourth in the Canada West, while the Vikes women � nished third in the conference and had their CIS-qualifying hopes dashed in playo� s by eventual national champions, the Trinity Western Spartans. The last time the Birds and Vikes clashed in season, the Vikes women won 3-1 in penalties while the Vikes men fell in both encounters. Kick o� is at 5:00 pm for the women and 7:15 pm for the men.

VIKES TO WATCH

#6 Jaclyn Sawicki | 5th year Mid� eldCIS second team all-star Canada West � rst team all-star U 20 2012 World Cup 2013 FISU Summer Universiade

#23 Cam Hundal | 4th year Mid� eld2013 leading goal scorer in Canada West 11 goals in 14 games played 2011 CIS National Champion2011 CIS Tournament MVP

UVIC VIKES UPDATE

Dairyland supports Vikes Nation’s approach to active healthy living.

Update presented by

NEWS You can find up-to-the-minute news on Twitter @TheMartlet.

September 4, 2014 MARTLET • NEWS 3

MICHEL GHANEM

Over 100 mapping professionals and representatives from Indigenous organizations came together for a mapping workshop hosted by UVic from Aug. 25 to 28.

In partnership with The Firelight Group and Google Earth Outreach, representatives involved in the land, water, and resource map-ping of Indigenous people were able to share knowledge with workshop attendees. The busy agenda included individual pres-entations and information sessions on mapping traditional land use, environmental monitoring, inter-generational knowledge, and much more.

Attendees learned about the most accurate and effective Indigenous mapping practices to add evidence

in litigation settings, and keep a close eye on the rich history of Indigenous lands.

Grand Chief Stewart Phillip, president of the Union of British Columbia Indian Chiefs, who first became involved in Indigenous issues 40 years ago, gave the open-ing address for the workshop.

“Quite often when we speak publicly about the interest of the people, and the impact of resource development, it’s not clearly under-stood by the general public. But there’s one thing that can really cap-ture the attention and imagination of all people—and that’s a map,” Phillip said during the address.

Phillip admits that the evolution of technology in the last 40 years has been of great importance for the Indigenous peoples who are at the forefront of the conflict, defending

their lands in remote locations.“Our elders often remind us

that our history is written on the land. With the technology that we have today, and the great urgency attached to the fact that when we move forward into the future, many of our knowledge keepers are pass-ing away, it is absolutely urgent and critical that we document the history of our presence.”

Phillip is grateful to have wit-nessed the transformative change in the last 40 years, and stressed the importance of a map in courtrooms and litigation, and in all dialogues on Indigenous rights.

According to Raleigh Seamster, Google Earth Outreach Program Manager, the search giant’s map-ping tool provides an easy visual aid. “People have a kind of geo-literacy with Google Earth that makes it easy

for people to explore and under-stand the [Indigenous land dispute] issue that you’re trying to explain . . . It helps speak a common language to explain complex issues.”

Seamster worked with the other co-hosts of the workshop to design the agenda and lead technology sessions along with other Google Earth Outreach representatives. The experienced mappers at the workshop have been working in car-tography for decades, before the advent of Google Earth, a tool that Seamster is most excited to work with and learn from.

“With Google Earth, we’re pro-viding a really rich campus of geographic information, satellite and aerial imagery of everywhere in the world, and all sorts of informa-tion that is at people’s fingertips,” she said.

The turning point for many organ-izations and mapping professionals was the ability to directly create points, lines, and polygons, which allows anyone in the world to create their own maps with Google Earth, she said.

Google Earth Outreach has been working in different Indigenous communities around the world since 2007 by holding workshops and partnerships. Seamster is confident that the organization will continue their involvement and teaching as new products and features are developed and released.

“We’ve met many different groups in Canada that are really in the forefront of pioneering the use of mapping in order to preserve cul-ture and protect lands,” she said.

UVic hosts Indigenous mapping workshop

Terry Tobias leads a workshop on Aug. 26 on land use and occupancy studies in the First Peoples House.–Hugo Wong (photo)

MICHEL GHANEM

UVic’s 10-bay transit exchange expansion is now operational. The new transit exchange, which opened on Sept. 2, replaced metered parking, cyclist parking, and parking for people with dis-abilities on the north side of the

Student Union Building.Director of Campus Planning and

Sustainability Neil Connelly is work-ing closely with B.C. Transit and the campus planning committee during the final stages of completion.

“The push was on” to get it completed, he said. B.C. Transit worked to “pull things together”

in the last week of construction. After finalizing landscaping details, the exchange opened to traffic on Tuesday.

The new September rider’s guide is fully updated with the new bus routes. All information regarding transit times and routes can be found on the B.C. Transit website, transitbc.com.

Transit exchange completed on time for fall term

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DANCE WORKSHOPSOne day, special interest dance workshops

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MTV FlashbackThu, Sep 25–Nov27 | 8:30–9:25pm

Let’s take it back a decade or two to relive iconic dance choreography!

UVIC VIKES RECREATION

September 4, 2014 MARTLET • NEWS 5

REGAN SHRUMM

SEPT. 6, 1979 — “THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEIR GOD”When Trinity Western College trans-formed from a transfer college into B.C.’s fourth public degree-granting university, UVic president Howard Petch worried that it would “open up a can of worms.” After the prov-ince quickly approved the transition after only two days, Petch worried that it would be hard for the gov-ernment to deny other schools the same opportunity. UVic, like other public institutions, is supervised by a university council, one so thorough that Petch remarked: “If we blow our noses, we have to get their permis-sion.” Trinity Western College, at the time, was not regulated by such a board.

However, by 1985, the province legislated the institution from a pub-lic university to a privately-funded one.

SEPT. 5, 1985 — “WHERE DO WE STAND?”Although it was only the first week of school, the UVic Student Society (then called the Alma Mater Society) were already gearing up for a refer-endum, scheduled for Nov. 5 that year. Back in 1981, Felicita’s pub manager, Colette Caron, stopped stocking Andres Wines and Carling O’Keefe products due to their ties to South Africa, which was still under apartheid. This boycott began after the Victoria Southern Africa Action Coalition approached Caron; how-

ever, the manager’s decision was soon ratified by the AMS Board of Directors. The new referendum let students vote on whether they wanted to boycott these products or not. In the end, the ban was narrowly passed 744 to 725.

However, the referendum was more than just about the boycott, as students began to question the censorship of the AMS. Just like the debates around making the UVSS a bottled water free–zone, the Martlet printed letters in 1985 from students wanting the right to decide what they wanted to purchase.

SEPT. 5, 1991 — “UVIC POOL PLANS RUN DRY”With the 1994 Commonwealth Games being held in Victoria, there were plans to build new sports facilities, including an Olympic-sized pool. Originally, UVic was to expand McKinnon by adding a new field house and aquatics cen-tre, but, after reviewing its budget, the Commonwealth Games Society decided that there would only be enough money to build a new pool. The Society eventually built the Commonwealth Pool in Royal Oak, complete with pirate ship and waterslides.

Terry Matthews, UVic vice presi-dent of administration, commented that “we already have a pool. Our priorities have to respond to the needs of the academic programs first.” Makes you wonder whether, if McKinnon had been expanded, would CARSA still be built?

This week in Martlet history

The Martlet’s history also contains a number of changing designs. –Martlet Archive (photo)

New student orientation

Top: Jamie Cassels addresses the incoming student body at an orientation ceremony on Sept. 2.

Right: Free the Children founder Craig Kielburger addresses the first-years.

–Hugo Wong (photos)

We’ve got even more photos from this event at martlet.ca.

6 NEWS • MARTLET September 4, 2014

WE ASKED YOU AND YOUR PARENTS ON MOVE-IN DAY

It’s sunny; it has good weather.

Getting used to this school because I’ve never been here before.

I wouldn’t say I’m excited . . . I’m excited about his new journey.

That she got in. That’s a big step for her; she is becoming a person and not just a kid anymore. That is [the] most exciting.

I’m looking forward to Emma meeting new friends and living on her own and having a good experience at school.

The campus is really nice and it’s a little far away from home [Vancouver].

I didn’t get in anywhere else.

[I] just hope he transitions and enjoys himself while he’s here. So I hope he likes it and I’m worried if he doesn’t.

WHAT EXCITES YOU MOST ABOUT COMING ONTO CAMPUS?

WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT?

WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT?

AS A PARENT, WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT?

WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT?

WHAT MADE YOU CHOOSE UVIC?

WHAT MADE YOU CHOOSE UVIC?

ANYTHING YOU’RE NOT SO EXCITED ABOUT?

Probably the area, all the nature, and meeting people.

I’ve always loved Victoria and my sister lives here already. It’s close to home [Maple Ridge] but far enough that I can live here and experience it.

That she’s going to be close to home but also experiencing things. Her sister is here; she’s finishing

her fourth year so it’s comforting.

WHAT EXCITES YOU THE MOST ABOUT BEING HERE?

WHAT EXCITES YOU [ABOUT UVIC]?

WHAT MADE YOU CHOOSE UVIC?

HUSSEIN KASSAMFirst yearSciences

SHELIN KASSAMParent

EMMA KENNYFirst yearSciences

PATTY KENNYParent

HALEY CHOWFirst yearSciences

SUSAN SHENParent

FAITH SHULMANFirst yearPsychology

CAROLYN SHULMANParent

DOCUMENTED BY CHORONG KIM & HUGO WONG

September 4, 2014 MARTLET • NEWS 7

uvss.ca

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Run by students, for students.

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Expanded UVic exchange

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Transit Routesand Schedules

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LEAH BJORNSON —THE PEAK (NUW)

BURNABY — SFU is now the fi rst university to accept Bitcoin dona-tions, with alumnus Scott Nelson, co-founder of dana.io, and Simon Fraser Bitcoin Club President Mike Yeung making an initial donation of $6 000.

The donation marks the fi rst acceptance of Bitcoin at a Canadian post-secondary institution, as well as the fi rst step for the Simon Fraser Bitcoin club towards getting the crypto-currency accepted at SFU.

Yeung told the Peak, “We thought that making a pledge to SFU in Bitcoin and to use it to do good, especially on an interna-tional basis, would be a really good way to get SFU to be more accept-ing of Bitcoin and would also fi t in with SFU’s engaging the world mis-sion.”

The $6 000 will be used by SFU students Laurie Macpherson and Lauren Shandley for their humani-tarian co-op project in Kolkata, India. The two will spend the

fall term working for Destiny Refl ection, a social enterprise that helps provide livelihood opportu-nities for vulnerable and rescued women who have been victimized by human traffi cking.

“Bitcoin is an avant garde plat-form enabling us to directly impact a wider community with our human-itarian efforts,” said Macpherson in an SFU press release.

In line with SFU’s mission of “engaging the world,” Mark McLaughlin, SFU’s executive direc-tor of Ancillary Services, feels that Bitcoin is particularly important in enabling transactions in less-developed countries, especially for people who don’t have access to currencies or bank accounts. “People in the developing world don’t have access to bank accounts like we do, so now Bitcoin is ena-bling them to do [more] commercial transactions,” he said.

Concerning what this project means to the Bitcoin club, Yeung believes the initiative shows that Bitcoin is “actually something that’s tangible, that can be used towards

a good cause.” He also hopes that this will provide Macpherson and Shandley with another talking point, as both have been given one Bitcoin — worth approximately $550 each — to spend during their trip.

McLaughlin confi rmed earlier this month that the university is con-sidering the instalment of Bitcoin ATMs in its bookstores, as well as acceptance of Bitcoin in its dining services.

“It’s an ongoing process where we’re looking to install some ATMs on campuses, as well as to get the bookstore to accept Bitcoin and to reward users of Bitcoin with perks,” explained Yeung.

The university has also added a Bitcoin donation option to its “Ways to Give” website page.

“We can’t be afraid of change. We have to look at these new technolo-gies and learn,” said McLaughlin.

While McLaughlin and Yeung admitted that “all of this is still in beta-testing mode,” Yeung expects some of these features to be seen on campus in the fall.

SFU becomes first Canadian university to accept Bitcoin donations

EDITORIAL

Editorial topics are decided on by staff at our editorial meetings, held weekly in the Martlet office (SUB B011). Editorials are written by one or more staff members and are not necessarily the opinion of all staff members.

Happy? Sad? Enraged? Tell us: letters@martlet.ca

The Martlet has an open letter policy and will endeavour to publish letters received from the university and local community. Letters must be submitted by email, include your real name and affiliation to UVic and have “Letter to the editor” in the subject line. Letters must be under 200 words and may be edited.

Submit your letters to the editor by emailing them to opinions@martlet.ca

8 OPINIONS • MARTLET September 4, 2014

OPINIONS

In October 1938, the first issue of the Martlet’s predecessor, the Sentinel, was posted on a bulletin board in Craigdarroch Castle, Victoria College’s first home. Its mandate was simple:

1. To re-awaken the spirit that once animated the students to great achievements.

2. To publish, each week, club activities.3. To arouse athletic enthusiasm.4. To dedicate ourselves, now and forever, to the liberation of Ursus

kermodei [a white bear caged in Beacon Hill Park], swearing mighty oath to forsake this cause till tempus fidgets.

The Sentinel lasted only a month, and was replaced by the Microscope, edited by Harold Parrott, Ivan Mouat, and Pierre Berton (yes, that Pierre Berton). The publication, one that “magnifies everything; tells nothing,” claimed that “[their] circulation is so low that gangrene is setting in.” After 10 years, it was replaced by the Martlet on Dec. 3, 1948. In the last 67 years, the name is about all we’ve kept.

We’ve moved from typewriters and floppy disks to (barely functioning) Macs and Adobe InDesign. Our print newspaper now joins a responsive, WordPress-powered website with videos and interactive timelines, all promoted through our Twitter and Facebook pages. In the last few years, we’ve even welcomed a stringent fact-checking policy (imagine that). But does that mean we’ve grown up and left our shit-disturbing antics behind for good?

After all, our reputation has varied from an establishment paper written by men in starched shirts, to a radical leftist paper dumped in toilets for nudity on the cover. We’ve even thrown out a UVic president, only to apologize decades later. No one knows what’s in store for this 67th volume; that part is up to you.

Each year, we welcome new staffers and volunteers, trying frantically to recover from the brain drain while printing a paper of at least some consequence. We struggle with our beat-up voice recorders and shattered iPhones, politely shoving aside establishment media to ask critical questions like, “Rabbits or deer?” Occasionally, those questions lead to concrete actions. Our report-ing saved part of Cunningham Woods from development, and pushed UVic to update the crisis information in all university restrooms, perhaps helping someone in need.

In our sections: News, Opinions, Features, Culture, Sports/Lifestyle, and Humour, we will shine a light on student issues; provide a platform for the marginalized; showcase Victoria’s best sights, sounds and tastes; keep up with our athletes; while figuring out how to marry quinoa with KD; and offer biting commentary or a hearty laugh to the brow-beaten reader.

And if we’re not covering what you want, you can write it yourself. Send us an email or a tweet and give us a piece of your mind. Countless coffee-drunk twenty-somethings, eager to see their byline in 6 000 papers around the city, have wandered into our offices, wondering what they can do. We offer col-umn inches and feedback to aspiring writers and artists, sideline credentials to photographers, cameras to videographers, and all contributors an experi-ence they’ll take with them to their next class or workplace.

To the students both curious and connected: thumb through our inky pages or the links on our Twitter feed. To the brave: find us in the SUB basement and say hello. Who knows? You might get a story out of it.

Allow us to re-introduce ourselves

BAYLEE WOODLEY

Growing up, I would make my parents take me to universi-ties wherever we went: UBC, the University of Edinburgh, Oxford, SFU, and, of course, UVic. Being on a huge campus and getting to study with people who actually want to be at school has always seemed amazing to me.

The last time I was at UVic was for the orientation. I just walked around campus smiling because this time I was actually supposed to be there. I wasn’t a 14-year old trying to look like a UVic student anymore, just a UVic student who looks 14.

A few days later, I was standing in Target between sheets and bath towels. I, the university student, couldn’t for the life of me figure out if the sheets, the blankets, and the towels were all the same shade of cream. That was when it hit me. I’m moving out. I have to buy sheets and towels that are the same shade

and find the right kettle. Even more shocking was when my sister came upstairs before my dad went back to work and said, “This is the last night we’re all going to live in this house together until Christmas.” Ouch.

I got so incredibly lucky with my family and I know that university won’t change how impressively close we are, but it still feels like the end of an era. I have to buy cream things and won’t spend more than weekend in my childhood home until December. How weird is that?

After I chose the right sheets and towels and watched Modern Family with my own modern family, I lay awake until three in the morn-ing wondering about my biggest transition since stepping over the threshold of the kindergarten class-room. What’s it going to be like on move in day? What are the chances I’ll forget where my room is? How hard will it be to make friends? How will I do on my first paper?

I ran over possibilities and paper topics in my head, and at 3:30 I crawled in next to my crazy sister, because I’m a mature university student now. The next morning my excitement returned in force—I went for a run and everything.

When I was watching Across the Universe with my best friend from high school, I knew how hard it was going to be not to see her all the time. When I was trying jalapeño mac-n-cheese chips with my mom, I realized no one else would get our family jokes. But, having spent a lot of time thinking at three in the morning, I’m hopeful that moving to Victoria in cream-coloured style will bring more inside jokes; I know it won’t be the end of old ones.

Baylee Woodley is an incoming first-year English student from Comox. If you are a student looking to con-tribute to this column, email volunteer@martlet.ca to get started.

Family and friends quell first year fears

THE LENS

KLARA WOLDENGA

September 4, 2014 MARTLET • OPINIONS 9

KLARA WOLDENGA

When I transferred from college to university, I believed I would be entering a place of forward-think-ing ideas and collaboration. But as I spent more time in the system, I realized that higher education was not the open intellectual haven I thought it would be. Through talking with both students and professors, I quickly learned that classes were heavily controlled by grading poli-cies and administration that no one seemed to be happy about, yet no side felt it could change the system.

German sociologist Max Weber described the increased bureaucracy in our lives as a large aspect of the “iron cage of rationality,” confined to the capitalistic work ethic that is based on efficiency, rational calcula-tion, and control. Weber stated that bureaucracies are used to organize complex societies and often start out well but tend to undermine human freedom and democracy in the long run. The bureaucratic cage limits individual freedom and allows a small handful of people control the major-ity through rules and regulations. As I sat in my classroom seeing every-

one nod in agreement, I became extremely aware of the iron cage this university was in, and how it seemed impossible to fight.

Throughout my two year stay at this university, I was told repeatedly that I was unable to do things because of policy. Simply because my GPA was slightly low, I was denied the chance to start a mentored research project regarding student-teacher participa-tion in classrooms; a project which I believed could have improved stu-dent-professor relations and learning in the static classroom lecture setting where many sit blankly, staring at

their laptops. As the current volun-teer co-ordinator for this newspaper, I now try to work with the professional writing program to allow students to write for us and receive academic credit. This would allow students to work in a fast-paced, non-academic environment, much like what they would experience after leaving uni-versity. Although a lot of professors seem interested, I have been told by many that it cannot be done due to academic grading policy, as there would be no way to grade what the students produce.

In an age where ivory tower syn-

drome is a concern and more and more students are anxious about the real-world relevance of their degrees, should UVic really be so concerned with procedure? If education is about bringing down boundaries and expanding our horizons, why are we bogged down by unnecessarily strict rules and regulations? I am not stating that we should do away with our grading systems and create an educational free-for-all, but it’s about time we think outside the box that we have built for ourselves.

SABRINA NEMIS—THE FULCRUM

OTTAWA — As part of promotion for Orange is the New Black, Netflix paid for a story on the New York Times website about women in the prison system. This piece of writing is well researched and interesting. It also says “Paid Post” at the top in tiny writing. The quality of the piece has many people concerned about the path journalism is taking in an effort to sell ad space.

On the Aug. 3 episode of HBO’s Last Week Tonight, host John Oliver took on the increasingly popular practice of native adver-tising. As media companies have moved their focus online, they have struggled to support themselves financially as banner ads have very poor return on investment for advertisers. Native advertising is meant to make advertising more appealing by camouflaging it as content with barely visible disclaim-ers, essentially fooling readers into reading something they would nor-mally scroll past.

Traditionally, Oliver said, there was meant to be a separation between the editorial and busi-ness sides of news, often compared to the divide between church and state. “I like to think of news and advertising as the separa-tion of guacamole and Twizzlers. Separately they’re good, but if you mix them together somehow you make both of them really gross.”

In the episode, he points out that although the industry has seen

major changes in recent years, the practice of selling ads to pay for journalism isn’t new. For example, in the ’50s, NBC broadcasters were introduced with ads hawking Camel cigarettes.

Integrating advertising isn’t unheard of in other industries either, with athletes signing deals to endorse products on their jer-seys or competing in sponsored events. And while the practise of integrating ads into sports isn’t without its critics, mixing them into reporting is more discomforting as it calls into question what journal-ism is supposed to be. How can readers trust reporters to present unbiased news—something that’s already difficult—when a clear con-flict of interest is on display at the top of the story?

Some companies have integrated advertising with their content effectively. BuzzFeed is successful because of its lists, often created in conjunction with advertising from big brands. The site also features actual news, but most people don’t go to BuzzFeed for that (we hope), because it’s hard to trust the quality of reporting from a company that has a story about James Franco’s hair alongside a serious news piece on Baghdad.

When readers want to know what’s going on in the world, they are more likely to turn to more trusted sources, which makes it troubling that these news organi-zations are now integrating native advertising in with their regular content.

The Globe and Mail now wants their journalists to write branded content in addition to regularly reported stories. They claim it isn’t a conflict of interest if the story doesn’t conflict with the report-er’s regular beat, and distinguish between “advertorials”, which are pieces approved by and created about the advertiser, and branded content, which is content approved by, but not about the advertiser.

Anyone reading the news should be aware that every journalist will have a unique perspective, regard-less of how hard we strive to eliminate it from our reporting. It’s asking a lot though, to expect read-

ers to sift through content from the same journalists to try and figure out whether the story is reflective of the journalist’s point of view, or the advertiser’s.

The New York Times piece on Orange is the New Black does eve-rything that quality online content is supposed to do: it has a solid story with accompanying video, audio, and infographics. The most successful element of this piece of native advertising is how it got people talking, writing, and most importantly, linking to the story. When people choose to click on ads, they can claim success.

But can this model continue to

be successful when it isn’t new and shocking anymore? Will reading sponsored news articles become commonplace, and if so, will the tenuous trust the public has in jour-nalists to at least attempt to present the news in an unbiased manner be completely undone? As print sales go down and media companies struggle to attract readers, a viola-tion of trust seems like the wrong move. Readers are already suspi-cious that journalists have ulterior motives in their reporting. Let’s not confirm that by handing our integ-rity out to the highest bidder.

The unappetizing future of native advertising

Marta Kierkus via the Fulcrum (photo)

Why bureaucracy and education don’t mixTyne & Wear Archives & Museums via Flickr Commons (photo)

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WE ARE HIRING !The Martlet is looking for a brand new staff this volume.

Do what you love. Grow with us. Make a difference.Applications deadline September 13, 2014.

Find out more at martlet.ca/jobs.

Come make your mark.

Volume 67 staff

Writers

Editors

Photorgraphers

Illustrators

Designers

Developers

Word nerds

All of the above

We need everyone. Find full job descriptions and application information

at martlet.ca.

You can also volunteer by stopping by SUB B011 or by emailing volunteer@

martlet.ca.

What are we looking for?

September 4, 2014 MARTLET • FEATURE 11

UVicFOR

DUMMIES

How UVic works About the MartletAll UVic undergraduate students are affected by three governing bodies: the Board of Governors, the Senate, and the UVSS. The Board of Governors manages UVic’s resources, including the budget, investments, and properties. Two elected student reps join the university’s chancellor, president, UVic faculty and staff, as well as government appointees.

UVic’s Senate rules on academic matters, including what courses run, issues of academic misconduct, scholarships, and admissions. Sixteen elected student reps join the president, chancellor, UVic staff, and faculty members.

The University of Victoria Students’ Society (UVSS) acts independently from the UVic administration. They serve as a lobby group for students, pressing the provincial government on issues like lower tuition and expanded transit service, while planning student events like Campus Kick Off and administering UVic’s clubs and course unions. They also operate the businesses in the Student Union Building, a $12-million operation. Each UVic undergrad is automatically a member of the UVSS, and all undergrads get to vote on UVSS policy at the Annual General Meetings (AGMs), held once per term.

The Martlet is UVic’s independent newspaper. Each undergraduate pays $3.75 per semester for the paper, which covers campus and community issues relevant to students. We hold the university and your student government accountable. We also train and publish aspiring writers, photographers, artists, and videographers. Martlet alumni include Pierre Berton (who edited its predecessor, the Microscope), W.P. Kinsella (author of Shoeless Joe, cinematized as Field of Dreams), numerous Times Colonist staffers, J.B. MacKinnon and Alisa Smith (authors of The 100-Mile Diet), and several UVic writing instructors.

Each week, we hold public meetings to determine the news and views that fall under our alternative mandate: stories that mainstream publications don’t cover. All UVic undergrads are part of the Martlet Publishing Society and may attend meetings and contribute content, including articles, illustrations, photographs, and video. They can also help us in other ways, polishing our website content, copy editing, or just keeping us company. So pad your resume with newsprint. Go to martlet.ca/get-involved, then email volunteer@martlet.ca for more information.

t@themartletfacebook.com/martletuvicinstagram.com/themartlet

Advice from real people

RACHEL FRANCOIS @RACHFRAN

• Make sure you always make time to balance your life and not get caught up in hiding in the library for 10 hours a day. It’s important to set aside time each day to release some energy by working out: yoga, going for a walk, or catching up with a friend over coffee. You’ll come out of the school year more sane, happy, and still getting the grades you want, even if it seems wrong to take a break for some “you” time.

• Attend Vikes sporting events; it’s a great way to feel a part of the Vikes Nation community and it’s always fun to get a little bit rowdy and cheer.

ON MAKING FRIENDS

• On the fi rst day of class, turn to the person beside you and say hi! If you wait a couple of days, it only gets more awkward.

• Ask someone for the time, then go from there.

• Compliment someone on their choice of attire and ask where they got it.

• Join a club or go on that course union pub crawl. Laugh about that shitty midterm mark and drown your sorrows with local microbrews.

MICHEL GHANEM @WTFMICHEL

• Most clothing stores offer some sort of student discount in Victoria, even if you don’t own an SPC card. Club Monaco goes from expensive to affordable with their 20 per cent student discount.

• If you’re having one of those days when every single seat on campus seems to be fi lled, try the Music Building.

KLARA WOLDENGA @KLARAWOLDENGA

Join a student club or UVSS group. There are lots of them around, and being active in a student group will allow you to take mental breaks from your studies, as well as be social with other students to create a support system.

DEVIN KHERA

Look into the course calendar and recommended course completion list on the UVic website, but you don’t have to follow the recommended course completion list precisely. I took a lot of my electives in fi rst year, since I wanted a light fi rst year.

12 FEATURE • MARTLET September 4, 2014

Eating• The best place for coffee is Munchie Bar, hands down. Not only is it the best espresso

on campus, it’s also the cheapest . . . so it’s a win-win!

• Make cheap meals ahead of time and freeze them for lunch.

• Buying your lunch every day seems like a good idea, but it can add up extremely quickly (unless you are on a meal plan).

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Transportation• Students can walk, bike, bus, board, or drive; but take it from us: driving isn’t the

best option. Parking is expensive, and UVic Security is ruthless when it comes to enforcement.

• If you don’t have your own bike, SPOKES is the on-campus bicycle lending program. Borrow a bicycle for a $40 fee, half of which will be returned to you when the bike is returned. Contact spokes@uvic.ca for more information.

• For students who drive, the parking lot next to the Fine Arts Building is a much less congested area to leave from when classes are done at the end of the day. It is also free to park across the street from the parking lot in the evenings.

Locals say “thank you” to their bus drivers.It’s a Victoria thing.

Learning• Never pay full price for new textbooks. You might be able to find them cheaper at

Subtext or Abebooks.com, or, if you’re in English classes, you can find just about any novel you can think of at Russell Books. Find the right versions online if you can plan that much in advance, but at the very least, go to the UVic Bookstore a week before classes start to avoid lines and buy the used versions.

• Actually go to your professor’s office hours. It will do your grades wonders.

If you know which degree you hope to complete at university,look into what classes your depart-ment advises you take in your first year. It’s nice to get all of your prerequisites out of the way early on; however, also try to take a couple courses that you are really excited about. It’s important to offset potentially boring prerequisites with some really engaging classes in your field of study. Link: uvic.ca/current-students/home/new-students/program-mapping/index.php

• A better UVic course timetable builder: schedulecourses.com

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Finnerty Express

Munchie Bar

Bean There

Cadboro Commons

Mystic Market

Biblio

Nibbles & Bytes

Mac’s

Arts Place

COFFEE

MUS 308: Popular Music and Society IIGMST 454: A Cultural History of Vampires in Literature and FilmEPHE 156: The Science of BatmanTHEA 150: Public Speaking

FUN ELECTIVES

FREEBIES• If you’re strapped for cash, there is a surprising

amount of free food on campus. There are catered events literally all the time that you can go to. Facility meet and greets, club meetings, convocation celebrations; the list could go on, providing you’re okay with a diet of mostly cake.

• Emmanuel Church, just off campus, offers a free dinner to all post-secondary students every Tuesday at 6 (starts Sept. 23). It gets crazy though, so show up early.

September 4, 2014 Martlet • FeatUre 13

Written by rachel Francois, Michel GhaneM, adaM hayMan, adrian Paradis, devin

Khera, senica Maltese, Klara WoldenGa, huGo WonG. desiGn by WilliaM WorKMan.

need helP?acadeMic• The UVic Writing Centre can help you with your essays.

Personal• Counselling is free and available on campus.

• Call UVic Security or 911. They offer a Safewalk program if you are on campus late at night. Call: 250–721–7599 More info: uvic.ca/security/home/safewalk/index.php

• If you’re in distress, go to a UVic washroom. You’ll find a list of emergency contacts.

!

• Most convenient watering hole: Felicita’s, named for Felicita Gomez, the SUB’s legendary former custodian.

• Protip: Even though everyone pronounces it Fe-LI-ci-tas, it’s actually Fel-i-CEE-tas

• Best old-person bar: Swan’s. This UVic-owned pub has everything: flirty forty-somethings, beer made in-house, large street-facing windows, and Lynyrd Skynyrd covers. Divine. (And no, they don’t serve Blue Buck.)

• If you’re itching to get away from campus or away from the people you live in residence with, Lululemon on Johnson Street offers free yoga classes every Sunday at 8 p.m.

• For anyone underage or looking for a good evening, Interactivity Board Game Café on Yates Street has wall-to-wall games to play for only $5. They also have great snacks. Try a milkshake!

beautiFul outdoor sPaces

• On campus Mystic Vale Finnerty Gardens Alumni Chip Trail (for walking/running) The Quad

• Close by Gyro Park (take the 11) Arbutus Cove beach (take the 12) PKOLS/Mount Doug (look this one up)

• For the weekend Beacon Hill Park (take the 4 or 7) Ogden Point (take the 4 downtown, then switch to the 31)

Orientation app: guidebook.com/g/uvicorientation

Gettin’ FrisKy?Safer sex supplies (condoms, lube, dental dams, etc.) are available at UVic Pride (SUB B010).

ActivitiesThese microwaves feature easy one touch buttons: 1 = 0:10 (seconds), 2 = 0:20, 3 = 0:30, 4 = 0:45, 5 = 1:00, 6 = 1:30, 7 = 2:00, 8 = 3:00, 9 = 4:00, 0 = 5:00.

If you’re the kind of person who needs to put their food in for an obscure amount of time, like 1:47 (I know you’re out there), you need to press the ‘lock’ button first. This lets you type in the precise time you want.

To defrost, press the clock button, then the snowflake/rain button, then type in your time.

Same goes if you want to use the 50 per cent or the 70 per cent power. Press the ‘clock’ button first then type in the time.

Here’s another bad-ass feature: if you have two things to heat up, instead of debating if you should add more time, press the ‘x2’ button first and then enter the normal time either with a one touch button or the clock button method. It’ll calculate the perfect time for re-heating two items.

For example, if you have two pieces of pizza, simply press x2 then hit 5. Instead of the normal 60 seconds, it’ll cook it for a minute and 48 seconds. How cool is that?

Adam Hayman’s guide:

How to use the SUB’s kick-ass commercial microwaves

iMPortant dates

Other important dates: web.uvic.ca/calendar2014-09/GI/2AYeID.html

sPrinG100% tuition refund Sunday, Jan. 18, 201550% tuition refund Sunday, Feb. 8, 2015Reading Break Feb. 9–13, 2015

Fall100% tuition refund Tuesday, Sept. 16, 201450% tuition refund Tuesday, Oct. 7, 2014Reading Break Nov. 10–12, 2014

ARE YOU IN?

INCLUSIVE / ACTIVE / COMMUNITY

Vikes Nation is an inclusive community that is committed to and passionate about the University of Victoria, its Vikes teams, and active healthy living.

Vikes fan? Yoga enthusiast? Intramural all-star? Vikes Nation has something for everyone.

Are you in? Learn more:

CULTURE Go to martlet.ca for more Fringe coverage, extended, or enhanced stroies.

September 4, 2014 MARTLET • CULTURE 15

SENICA MALTESE

This fall, Bard & Banker will amplify its lavish ambiance with some liter-ary flair, as it welcomes readers to join long-time Victoria-based jour-nalist Alicia Priest at the launch of her first book, A Rock Fell on the Moon: Dad and the Great Yukon Silver Ore Heist. Part memoir, part true-crime, A Rock Fell on the Moon combines a reflection on small-town Yukon family dynamics with Priest’s personal investiga-tion of her father’s infamous ore heist during the 1960s, a theft of $160 000 worth of silver ore from one of the largest mining compa-nies in Canada.

As a journalist with over 25 years of experience in news, radio, and magazine writing, Priest was well equipped to explore her father’s story, not only as a piece of fam-ily history that she experienced first-hand, but also as a piece of Canadian history, which she was

only able to uncover by consulting letters, news stories, and archived RCMP files and court documents. “I had to do a lot of research, interviews and archival sleuthing,” Priest wrote in an email interview with the Martlet.

Priest’s background in journal-ism was instrumental in revealing the recognized facts of her father’s crime; however, she revealed that the facts surrounding the heist itself are not necessarily the “heart” of this memoir: “While the theft of 70 tons of valuable silver ore and the subsequent investigations and trials loom large, the story is ulti-mately one of human dynamics during a particular cultural era.”

In 2012, Priest was pushed to finally share her father’s story and its heartbreaking effect on her fam-ily when she was diagnosed with ALS, which has left her unable to speak: “With a diagnosis of ALS, I will soon not be able to tell [this story],” Priest disclosed. When

asked why she was motivated to share this piece of family history, Priest answered simply, “Because the best stories are true stories.”

Writing this memoir with ALS has been a great challenge for Priest, but she considers the “tremendous support” of her family, friends, and husband to be the most reward-ing part of completing this book and maintains the universal desire of debut authors: “I hope people enjoy my book!”

If you want to get involved in Victoria’s lit-scene or are a fan of true-crime with a family twist, grab a brew at the Bard & Banker on Sept. 17 and catch the launch at 7:30 p.m. in the Robert Service Room. Admission is free and litera-ture enthusiasts and novices alike are welcome. For more informa-tion on A Rock Fell on the Moon’s Victoria launch, voyage to Munro’s Books or give them a call at 250-382-2464.

Infamous Yukon heist grounded in family narrative

Provided (graphic)

GABE LUNN

Like their title suggests, the sound of Queer as Funk is in the tradi-tion of classic Motown, soul, and funk; a sound belted out by vocal-ists in sequined outfits and equally bright horn sections. Their mate-rial stems from artists both classic and contemporary, from Aretha

Franklin and Otis Redding to Amy Winehouse and Cee Lo Green. So far, every gig hosted by the 10-piece band has sold out (organ-izers expect the Victoria show to be extremely well-attended), creating all the more anticipation when they arrive here this week to play their first show in our city on Sept. 6. The Martlet caught up with backup

vocalist and founding member Jocelyn Macdougall for an email Q&A on the band and what they expect of the performance.

How long have you all been playing together as a band and what lead to its inception?

“A bunch of us were performing together in Vancouver’s first (and only) all-butch choir, Leadfoot, and we realized we wanted to take things further as we had a great group of instrumentalists and one killer vocalist. We all love the vibe of old school soul, funk, and R&B, so we started working on some cov-ers and filled out the band. Queer As Funk officially began with eight members (trumpet, trombone, sax, drums, guitar, bass, keys and vocals) in early 2013, with our first gig at the Vancouver Dyke March that year. Since then, we’ve added two additional members (congas and back up vocals).”

When performing, is there a goal beyond just creating a soulful and robust vibe?

“The more we play our tunes, the deeper we fall in love with the amazing musicians, past and pre-sent, who have created this kick-ass music that makes you want to feel all the feelings, but most of all, just dance your face off. If we have any goal, it’s to share the pure joy that we all feel playing this great music together, with every single audi-ence member who blesses us with their presence.”

It says in the band’s bio that you carry a repertoire of beloved funk, soul, and motown pieces both classic and contemporary.

Are there aspirations to produce original material in the style?

“This is definitely something we’ve talked about, but we have such a vast selection of incredible tunes to choose from, and so many we still want to do. I think original material might be a ways down the road yet, but it will be coming.”

Should people come to the event with a dress code in mind?

“Dress to dance! We of course would never discourage anyone from showing us their dapper side. Vests and ties and dresses and heels are always encouraged. But the truth is you won’t be able to stop yourself from dancin’ the night away, so dress for that!”

Queer as Funk will be playing the James Bay Athletic Association Club House this Saturday, Sept. 6 with special guest DJ Slade. The event is in collaboration with Child Haven, a Canadian non-profit which assists children and women in developing countries.

Tickets are $20 in advance and $28 at door. Limited sliding scale admission is available (call Jenny at 250-721-1579 for details). The

event is not wheelchair accessible. Follow Queer as Funk on Twitter @

Queer_As_Funk.

Victoria gets Queer As Funk

16 CULTURE • MARTLET September 4, 2014

Run by Students, for StudentsZAPCOPY.COM

GREATCANADIANNOVELIDEA

MICHAEL CARLISLE

The only thing Roger Ebert loved more than movies and his wife, Chaz, was life itself. Growing up in North America, it is extremely diffi -cult to have not heard of the famed critic. In the ‘90s, Siskel and Ebert’s “thumbs up” gimmick was eve-rywhere, a cash cow that brought critiquing into the mainstream. Both men, and Ebert in particular, have been an undeniable infl uence; before I write my own reviews, I look at Ebert’s fi rst. Though often I fi nd myself disagreeing with his reviews, I still respect the man very much.

Life Itself recounts the surprising and entertaining life of the world-renowned fi lm critic and social commentator—a story that’s per-sonal, wistful, funny, painful, and transcendent. The fi lm explores the impact and legacy of Ebert’s life: from his Pulitzer Prize-winning fi lm criticism to his long battle with can-cer.

Though the picture spends a decent amount of time dissecting his professional life, I would argue that the meat of Life Itself is the explo-ration of his personal life. Director Steve James shows a very human side of Ebert that the world has rarely

seen. Here we see America’s darling critic at his most vulnerable; stuck in a wheelchair, ready to die at any given moment. A good chunk of the documentary takes place in a hos-pital, where we are shown graphic details of Ebert’s physical condition, previously withheld from public view. Despite his intense pain, Ebert smiles and remains hopeful. He writes to forget his troubles and drive himself forward. It is a great meditation on the human spirit.

Of course Ebert is only human, and thus is subject to the darkest realms of the soul. At times, only his wife Chaz can bring him back; she

is most certainly his rock. When he gives her a note that says “kill me”, she refuses. When he chooses not to painfully climb a set of stairs, she pushes him to do it. There is mental suffering as well. Chaz breaks down and cries in front of the camera. She wants to be there for Roger and be a great wife, but it’s incredibly stress-ful and diffi cult. Their love is a test of mental strength and fortitude, but they push forth.

Unlike most documentaries, the subject isn’t shown as infal-lible in his profession. Indeed, some feel like Siskel and Ebert: At the Movies, and the many varia-

tions of it, turned the serious art of fi lm criticism into a joke. No movie can be simply good (thumbs up) or bad (thumbs down), as for the most part they incredibly complex. Ebert was not without rivals; every fi lm critic in America, including Gene Siskel, was competing for his spot. In conclusion, while the fi lm is less successful when discussing Roger Ebert as a critic, I cannot deny that it is remarkably engaging. The director does not strive for cheesy sentimen-tality and does not ask us to worship this man; rather, he asks us to see Ebert for what he really is; a human.

Life Itself an unvarnished portrayal of legendary criticEbert on film

C. Kevin Horan via Kartemquin Films (photo)

September 4, 2014 MARTLET • CULTURE 17

ADRIAN PARADIS

Careful observers know that res-taurant locations are sometimes cursed. What was a lowbrow diner yesterday is a highbrow café today and a middle-class buffet tomor-row. One gimmick after another will travel in and out of these locations for years until something special comes along to break the curse.

Hank’s Untraditional BBQ is just that. It’s the kind of place that is unapologetically untraditional and special enough to break this failing restaurant curse.

Located at 1001 Douglas Street—once home to The Melt, as well as a sleepy cafe (and who knows what before that)—Hank’s offers up solid portions of meaty entrees with a choose-what-you-will selection of sides.

My partner and I were drawn in by the promise of $3 Spinnaker beers,

but stayed for the fantastic smells coming from behind the coun-ter. The long, narrow restaurant only seats a few so we positioned ourselves at the bar by the open kitchen to watch the one man show.

Menu choices were easy: pulled lamb shoulder on a house-made bun for $10 seemed hard to pass up. For a side, I chose the nearly obligatory mac and cheese despite the extra $4 cost. My partner, feel-ing less peckish than I, opted for the starter pork chili for only $6.

After an impressive flurry of cooking and movement, the man behind the bar (Hank? I never did ask) presented us with our meals. The pulled lamb was everything I wanted it to be: tender, moist, and flavourful without being dripping in generic barbecue sauce. The caramelized onions and pickled jalapeño added a fantastic sweet and spicy note to it as well.

The chili, though one of the spici-est bowls of meat and beans I have ever tasted, was equally amazing. Unlike the convenient canned vari-ety, the pinto beans still had a bit of appealing bite to them. The fla-vour of the bowl, though damn hot, had a warm cinnamon spice to it that slowly built on my palette like a Christmas fire.

After we had eaten our mounds of meat and drank our $3 beers, it was regrettably time for us to leave. On our way out, I caught a peek at our man behind the bar finishing off what looked like the daily pasta with a literal mountain of fresh grated cheese. This left me confi-dent that Hank’s will not fall to the same curse that its predecessors did. If it gets the community sup-port it deserves I’m sure Hank’s will find more than its share of business. If not, it will surely thrive from my patronage alone.

There’s a new BBQ in townHank’s Untraditional BBQ o�ers truly stellar meats

KIER ROBINS

From historic castles in Edinburgh to tents in Edmonton, the Fringe can make any space a theatre. That’s why I shouldn’t have been surprised to queue up in the quad of the Ivy-esque St. Michael’s University School (SMUS). This year’s production of “The New Mel Brooks’ Musical Young Frankenstein” is the school’s 15th Summer Drama Academy produc-tion and the sixth tied to the Fringe. Twenty-four teens directed by the ebullient Cam Cullen and Donna Williams (the one-person conductor, soundboard tech, stage manager, and musical director) scrambled for two weeks to get this show on its feet. While a little rough around the edges and a high-school production to boot, this rollicking production moved surprisingly quicker than the original. A fellow reviewer claimed

to even have had a Simon Cowell/Susan Boyle moment.

The cast photos on the theatre door showed two casts, dubbed ‘Werewolf’ (W) and Vampire (V), which performed alternating shows. Not only that, roles were split. For instance, on Thursday, the classic role of Igor (W) (not Ee-gor, Eye-gor) played by Cormac Nugent was matched with a female twin: Egor (not Eye-gor, Ee-gor), played by Jordan Gilson. This arrangement allowed all 24 students to alternate as cast or chorus and crew for all four showings. You think it was compli-cated working out the democratic casting program? The in-scene role switching got even better. All 24 stu-dents would get two jobs, it seemed. In one show they would be cast, and in the other, chorus (villagers), and crew, which gave everyone equal stage time.

I wasn’t familiar with the Brooks/Meehan musical production (I missed the Canadian College of Performing Arts production that hit the McPherson in the spring, not to mention the Broadway and off-Broadway showings). I just heard that it was a good musical rendition that kept with the spirit and feeling of the film, so the original was my point of comparison.

After Cam’s quick introduction, the whole cast sang “The Happiest Town in Town.” Most of the voices were in various states of training but the number was enthusiastic and wasn’t hampered too much with self-con-scious pitchiness.

Then we ‘cut’ to ‘America’ in a lecture hall, where a lab-coated blond took the stage; as the quick and sometimes chaotic set change got sorted, he began writing “Fronkensteen” on the revealed

whiteboard. Friedrich Frankenstein, played by SMUS student Jasper Johnson, opened strongly with, “The Brain” and I suspect as his baritone comes in it will complement his com-mendable and capable acting chops.

The comedy bits mostly fell on the shoulders of Egor/Igor, who played well off Johnson and each other. The Teri Garr part was also split into Inga (Jordan Kerr) and Anya (Sarah Ellman) who did well with the innu-endo humour of “Roll in the Hay”.

The introduction of Frau Blücher, though, (neighhhhhhh) revealed the player most likely to upstage the lead. Hannah Tokarsky, who played Blücher, gave my friend James, and myself to a certain degree, that Susan Boyle moment; her rendition of “He Vas My Boyfriend” stole the show—although the later duet between the Monster (Ethan Ko) and Elizabeth (Andrea Ellsay) got the best of my

laughs. It was clear from Tokarsky’s entrance that she had a bit more prior training (her dad’s an acting teacher in Stony Plain, Alberta). Look for Tokarsky, Nugent, and Johnson in the future, because they have the budding chops to make good musi-cal theatre happen.

As a workshop production, this was astounding. In high school, I was the jazz band guy (insert “one time at band camp” joke here), and we would put together a concert in a week. This is four times as monu-mental, and with a group of 24 to wrangle, a testament to educators who seek inspiration. It must have been a wonderful way for the cast to get Drama 11 credit in two weeks of summer vacation.

Young actors breathe life into Frankenstein

EMILY MCIVOR

When I meet Naomi Simpson and Julian Cervello, director and assistant director of Langham Court Theatre’s upcoming production, The Small Room at the Top of the Stairs, I feel as though I’m the newest guest at a secret special party. They lean in as they talk about their plans and hopes for the play. They are both actors first; this will be their directorial debut but they’ve worked together before. As I write, auditions are just getting under-way. Simpson and Cervello agree that casting will be the most important decision they make.

While the two are shy about revealing much of the plot, they promise beauty and horror and a sur-realistic dreamscape. Written in 2012 by Quebec artist Carole Frechette and translated by playwright John Murell, the play is billed as a psychological thriller with allusions to the classic thriller films of the 1960s. Promotional materials describe the story of a new wife, gifted with a 28-room mansion by her adoring mate. There is only one area off limits: a small room at the top of the stairs. Of course, she becomes obsessed with the room and the result highlights the tension of hidden spaces within familial rela-tionships and the inevitable paradox of sharing and withholding in love.

Rooms have been used as a sym-bolic device in women’s writing before now. Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s story, “The Yellow Wallpaper” and Emma Donoghue’s, “The Room” spring to mind. Rooms represent domes-tic life and the constrained freedom of women in a male-dominant soci-ety, and all three works explore the psychological effect of controlling a woman’s movements. These plays are intimate illustrations of how the poli-tics of sexism become personal to the point of madness.

After the interview, on fire with the imagination and excitement of Simpson and Cervello, I consider all that’s been said as I walk into the night, and contemplate the things I can’t know until the curtain opens this fall. I know it will be beautiful, intimate and tense but I’m not sure about the backbone of this play. I send a short text message back to Simpson, still sitting with Cervello at the candle-lit table, talking things over. I ask her whether the play is political. Her answer is no.

The play will run from Nov. 20 to Dec. 6 of this year and student rush tickets are $10 at 15 minutes before

curtain time (student ID required).

Upcoming play promises mystery

WE ARE WEB FIRST

FIND NEW AND EXTENDED ARTICLES ONLINE EVERY WEEK.

w E a

18 CULTURE • MARTLET September 4, 2014

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SEPTEMBER 5–14

COMMUNITY

CAPITAL CITY STOMP SWING DANCE WEEKENDDance Victoria Studios (2750 Quadra St.)Sept. 5, 8:00 p.m.Tickets: Students: $18, Regular: $20 (At the door)Sept. 6, 8:30 p.m. At the doorTickets: Students: $23, Regular: $25 (At the door)

Join the Swing Dance Association of Victoria for this two-day swing dance weekend. Friday’s theme is “On a Coconut Island,” so be sure to dress as if you’ve crashed ashore on a deserted coconut island while attending a Lindy Hop cruise ship party (floral fabrics, tropical hair flowers, beach-inspired themes, and seashell prints). The night starts off with some beginner swing dance lessons; no experience needed. Just bring your dance shoes and water bottle, while followed by tunes from the Reuben Wier Quintet until 12:30 a.m.

On Saturday night the cabaret show begins at 8:00 p.m., featuring a black and white “Old Hollywood”-themed dress code. If you have a favourite film star from this classic time period you’ve always wanted to dress up as, this is your night! The cabaret show starts at 8:00 p.m., showcasing local talent such as Bourbon Street Band and international MC Mark Kihara.

VICTORIA ANARCHIST BOOKFAIR(1310 Gladstone Ave.)Fernwood NRG Community Hall Sept. 6, 11 a.m. – 6 p.m. Sept. 7, 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. Free

For anarchists and non-anarchists of all ages. Come and learn about anarchy, soap making, grant writing, and more. It includes book and information tables, workshops, readings, films, presentations, and many other things. Go to victoriaanarchistbookfair.ca for more information.

FOOD

ESQUIMALT RIBFEST Bullen Park (1151 Lyall St.)Sept. 12–14 11 a.m. – 10 p.m.

Come and get your ribs on! Esquimalt Ribfest features many different award-winning vendors from across Canada and the U.S. With events going on all day you can enjoy a side of music and entertainment with your food. This ribfest also offers the most important thing to your meal: beer and cider, available in their beer garden. Parking is extremely limited, cash only. Free admission. For more information go to esquimaltribfest.com.

MUSIC

VICTORIA CONSERVATORY OF MUSIC OPEN HOUSE PARTYVictoria Conservatory of Music (900 Johnson St.)Sept. 6, 10 a.m. – 3 p.m. Free

The Victoria Conservatory of Music is proud to present an open house for all ages. The Kerplunks, a multi-award winning children’s entertainment group, will be performing for the kids. DJs will also be performing at their Pandora Music Plaza and jamming with rock and folk artists. The instrument petting zoo features electronic drums, samplers and much more. The Melt grilled cheese truck will be attending this event and serving an Open House twist on their classic grilled cheese. With great food, free ice cream, and free concerts this open house is not one to miss. For more information, visit vcm.bc.ca.

CAN/US HOT JAZZ AT HERMANN’S JAZZ CLUB(753 View St.)Tickets: $12 (At the door only) Sunday, Sept. 7 & 21, 4 p.m. – 7 p.m. (All ages)

Enjoy New Orleans jazz with CanUS, complete with three-part harmony vocals and a lively band to back them. Regularly heard at Hermann’s Jazz Club, the band features classics from the ’20s all the way to the ’40s. Check out hermannsjazz.com for more details.

KLARA WOLDENGA

jpsdg via SXC(photo)

SPORTS | LIFESTYLE It was Thunder’s birthday on Sept. 1.Did you write on his Wall?

September 4, 2014 MARTLET • Sports | Lifestyle 19

MEN’S AND WOMEN’S ROWING

Vikes men’s and women’s novice rowing team is recruiting for the 2014-15 season. All students are welcome, no prior experience required. Men’s row-ing head coach Aalbert Van Schothorst recommends a love for the outdoors and a passion to represent the Vikes for all physically active students who are interested.

The Vikes women’s program has won 11 Canadian University National Championship titles and the men’s program has won six. 101 Vikes rowing alumni have represented Canada at the Olympics.

There will be six days of information and tryouts for aspiring students. Tryout testing will take place on Sunday, Sept. 14 at 12 p.m.

WOMEN’S FIELD HOCKEY

The Vikes women’s field hockey team comes out of their pre-season, three-game tour nearly undefeated.

After five new recruits joining the team, they earned a 3-2 victory against the Yale Bulldogs, a 3-1 victory over the Brown Bears, and a 0-0 draw with Harvard.

The successful pre-season games place the women’s team in a good posi-tion for their first upcoming Canada West season against Calgary and UBC, featuring two home games and two on the road.

Third-year midfielder Andrea Jones was part of the pre-season tour and is confident in her team’s abilities for the upcoming season.

The 0-0 draw with Harvard was in part due to an early referee whistle call as the Vikes scored a goal, she said. She admits the momentum from the end of the game was crucial for their winning game against Brown.

“I wouldn’t per se take it as a loss, but definitely a learning experience,” she said.

Overall, the games matched her expectations, “but we definitely have things to work on for the upcoming season,” she said. “We have five new rookies who are all very talented, and I think we should have a strong core group.”

Jones is looking forward to taking more of a leadership role for the team, on and off the field as an experienced third-year player. “I want the younger players to look up to me as a role model,” she said.

Head coach Lynne Beecroft will be entering her 31st season at the helm of the women’s field hockey team.

“[Beecroft] is a great coach. I think she’s going to want our play to be more dynamic this season,” she said.

MEN’S SWIMMING

Vikes men’s swimmer Jon McKay earned silver at the Junior Pan Pacific Swimming Championships in Maui. The event, which ended on Aug. 31, attracts junior swimmers from around the world. The second-year swimmer achieved a time of 15:21.81 in the 1500-metre freestyle, a new record for the Pacific Coast Swimming club.

Rob Hill and Peter Brothers also competed at the championship, and will be joining the Vikes team this year. The men’s swimming team will begin their 2014-15 season at home with the Senior Circuit on Oct. 15 in preparation for the College Cup Meet in Vancouver on Nov. 1.

Nominated by UBC Managing Director of Athletics Ashley Howard, Vikes Athletics and Recreation Director Clint Hamilton took part in the Ice Bucket Challenge on Aug. 21 in the company of staff and rowers. Hamilton nomi-nated Jim Dunsdon, UVic Associate Vice-President of Student Affairs, who also took part.

EVENTS CALENDAR

Friday, Sept. 5:

Thunderfest, Student Union Building, 8 a.m.

Women’s Soccer vs. UBC, Centennial Stadium, 5 p.m.

Men’s Soccer vs. UBC, Centennial Stadium, 7:15 p.m.

Saturday, Sept. 6:

UVSS Dodgeball Tournament, Ian Stewart Complex, 8 a.m.

Men’s Rugby vs. Velox, Wallace Field, 2:45 p.m.

Women’s Soccer vs. Trinity Western, Centennial Stadium, 5 p.m.

Men’s Soccer vs. Trinity Western, Centennial Stadium, 7:15 p.m.

Women’s Rugby vs. Lethbridge, Kelowna B.C., TBD

Sunday, Sept. 7:

Women’s Rugby vs. Lethbridge, Kelowna B.C., TBD

Men’s Golf at Wolf Pack Invitational, until Sept. 9

Women’s Golf at Wolf Pack Invitational, until Sept. 9

MICHEL GHANEM

September sports shorts

Who said one has to feel guilty eating a homemade brownie? At first you may raise an eyebrow about putting black beans in your brownie, but believe me, it provides a boost of protein, and you won’t even taste it at all.

INGREDIENTS1 medium sized can (about 1¾ cups) black beans, well rinsed and drained

3 tbsp coconut oil

¾ cup cocoa powder (the higher quality the better)

¼ tsp sea salt

¾ cup brown rice flour (optional)

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

7 dried and finely chopped dates or ¾ cup honey

1½ tsp baking powder

½ cup coconut milk

Optional toppings: crushed walnuts, pecans or chopped dark baking chocolate INSTRUCTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350°F (180°C).2. Lightly grease a baking loaf or square

pan.3. In a small saucepan, boil the chopped

up dates with ½ cup water, let sim-

mer for about 10 minutes, checking and mixing it so it doesn’t dry out and burn.

4. Pour in the coconut oil and coconut milk and turn off the stove heat/fire. Mix well and set aside to cool.

5. Mix all the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl (salt, cocoa powder, brown rice flour, etc.).

6. Slowly pour the coconut milk mixture into the dry bowl, mixing it well and scraping down sides as needed until smooth.

7. Optional: Sprinkle with crushed wal-nuts, pecans or chocolate chips.

8. Pour into prepared baking pan.9. Bake for 25–40 minutes or until the

tops are dry and the edges start to pull away from the sides.

10. Remove from oven and let cool for 30 minutes before removing from pan. They will be tender, so remove gently with a fork. The insides are meant to be very fudgy, so don’t be concerned if they seem too moist.

11. Store in an airtight container for up to a few days. Refrigerate to keep longer.

LEAT AHRONY

Vegan & gluten free black bean brownie

HUGO WONG

Back when I drove to campus, I looked at the cyclists I dodged with a mixture of dread and fascination. The spandex-clad racers and the hip-sters on fixies seemed content with their pedal-powered lives, but to me, they were either reckless, congesting single-lane traffic, or just dumb-look-ing. That all changed about this time last year, when I was in the throes of road rage. I was rushing for class and shouting obscenities at the top of my lungs towards every pedestrian in sight. The windows were closed, but I think my face got the message across. After screeching into one of UVic’s increasingly rare parking spots, I resolved to trade four wheels for two, and after a year, I have no desire to go back.

The advantages were overwhelm-ing. I’d save an incredible amount of money, I could get to campus nearly

as fast, I would get some exercise, and I wouldn’t have to fight for a parking space. All I needed was a steed.

As a shorter person, most used bikes were too big, so I had to bite the bullet and get a new one. The slender, handsome salesman directed me to the “hybrid” sec-tion, mutts that took parts from their mountain, road, and comfort bike siblings. In the end, I was seduced by a light aluminum frame and matte black finish, one that isn’t quite as immaculate anymore.

In the past year, I’ve fallen a few times, but endured nothing more than a minor scrape or bruise. On the plus side, I look pretty damn good in shorts now (paleness not-withstanding), and more importantly, I’ve spent enough time on the saddle to know that drivers and pedestrians can be careless, too. On res move-in day, I narrowly avoided a father who

stepped onto the road without look-ing. One more step and I would have flown over my own handlebars. Cars, particularly Teutonic land yachts, sometimes don’t leave enough room (half a lane would be nice).

Of course, I still borrow a car when I have to look presentable for meet-ings or travel for long distances, but I can’t say I miss the creature comforts. The fresh air and exercise is actually appealing, even to someone as lazy as myself. The silence gives me time to think, and school zone speeds are actually thrilling instead of snore-inducing. It also allowed me to see another side of urban transportation, one that doesn’t necessarily centre around a car. I’m no longer against those stupid bike lanes eating into precious vehicle lanes. So call me convinced; just don’t expect me to don those spandex shorts anytime soon.

Confessions of a commuter cyclist

William Workman (photo)

20 Sports | Lifestyle • MARTLET September 4, 2014

Tweets from athletes

WILLIAM WORKMAN

Canada’s M4- @VikesAlumni Kai Langerfeld 5th overall! GBR, USA & AUS take the medals pic.twitter.com/PRUmRBjGhg

@VikesRow

I think I need an electrics scooter. My body can’t handle this #somuchpain

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22 HUMOUR • MARTLET September 4, 2014

HUMOUR

HUGO WONG

HUMOUR — In his first policy speech from his Kensington Palace crib, Prince George of Cambridge spoke passionately about the impending Scottish independence referendum, pleading for the nation and his mother not to abandon him.

With the aid of a picture chart and interpreter, the infant prince said that “In my short time here, I’ve formed an impregnable bond with both the Scottish people and my mother, the Duchess of Cambridge. I, along with millions of Britons, have come to love both Scotland and my mother, and we have no desire to close the curtain on a long, fruitful, loving rela-tionship.”

While members of the Royal Family do not generally comment on political matters, George felt he

was unencumbered by the protocol given his young age, and said he was speaking against the advice of his advisors. Unnamed palace sources say that the prince has been visibly emotional for days, fighting back tears and verbally abusing his staff.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, currently on a trip to the family’s estate in Balmoral, has not seen the prince in several days, and with the impending independence referendum on Sept. 18, he decided to make his case to the public.

When asked specifically why Scotland should stay, George leaned heavily on the talking points referenced by Alistair Darling, for-mer Chancellor of the Exchequer and head of Better Together, the pro-unity movement, citing the eco-nomic uncertainty of an independent Scotland.

“I’ve read [Scottish First Minister] Alex Salmond’s 600-page plan, and it’s hopelessly optimistic, filled with nothing but platitudes, particularly on the currency question. There’s no way the Treasury will let them use sterling, so what’s left, the Euro? Just look across the Channel and see how well that single market is doing. My parents are in Scotland right now, but I’ll ask them as soon as they get back.”

The prince, who will eventu-ally reign over 16 Commonwealth countries, also criticized the First Minister’s decision to extend suffrage to 16- and 17-year old Scots, a move he says is irresponsible and “flagrant pandering” to Scottish youth.

“[Salmond]’s courting a group that clearly favours splitting the coun-try. And besides, only a handful of nations worldwide let 16-year-

olds vote. I don’t think these teens, who are still children in some ways, have the foresight to see the conse-quences of rending the country in two.”

A long list of British celebrities, including author J.K. Rowling, have come out in support of independ-ence, which bolstered the prince’s confidence that Scots would stay, despite Darling’s poor showing in a recent debate with the Scottish First Minister.

“I know it’s a battle of hearts and minds, and one debate performance doesn’t decide anything. Everyone has bad days. Mum says that she can’t take me travelling if I’m being ‘bratty’, but that’s such bollocks. I’m just particular.” He then spent the next five minutes describing his con-tinued bitterness about the Duchess not waiting until after his birth to visit

Warner Bros. Studios, Leavesdon, where the Harry Potter films were made.

His Royal Highness struggled to maintain his composure as he stopped himself, reminding the crowd that he missed his mother’s affection and the new outfits she’d buy him from Selfridge’s.

“This game of peek-a-boo has gone on far too long for me and for my country. It’s time for Scotland and my mother to open their eyes and realize that staying is truly the best way forward.”

Citing sleepiness, the prince then shooed reporters out of his nursery, collapsing into bed and loudly call-ing for his nurse to rub brandy on his gums.

Infant prince pleads for national unity, mother

Chorong Kim (graphic)

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With the new semester approaching, it’s important to start off on the right foot. Having a good relationship with your professor is the fi rst step. Here are some easy ways to make sure that you don’t spend the rest of the semester crying quietly into a bag of Doritos due to that awkward run in with your professor.

1. GIVE THEM GIFTSProfessors are extremely interested in sustainable, reused, local products; get in touch with their barbers and give them a pillow stuffed with their own hair.

2. ESTABLISH DOMINANCEAlpha males get A’s. Buy platform shoes to seem taller and speak in a lower voice than them. Headbutting is also acceptable; just make sure to practise beforehand with your new shoes.

3. BE MEMORABLEWear extremely bright clothing, funny hats, or randomly scream your own name in the middle of a lecture.

4. CLOSE THE RELATIONSHIP GAP BETWEEN STUDENT AND PROFESSORToo many professor-student relationships are distant; lessen that by fi nding their home address and dropping by unannounced at night. Keep your face warm at night with a ski mask which can be purchased at your local clothing store.

5. BE EXTREMELY FRIENDLYOpen doors for them, every day, through every door they attempt to enter. This includes bathroom and car doors. This means clearing your schedule and sleeping in a tent outside their home, but the struggle will be worth it when you receive a positive “Come see me!” on your paper.

KLARA WOLDENGA

A-LIST COMICS

5 ways to create a concrete relationship with your professors

CHORONG KIM

Newsroom 250.721.8360 | Business 250.721.8359 | martlet.ca | @TheMartlet | Facebook.com/martletuvic | YouTube.com/martletuvic

The Martlet Publishing Society is an incorporated B.C. society and operates based on our Statement of Principles. We strive to act as an agent of construc-tive social change and will not publish racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise oppressive copy.

Martlet (SUB B011)P.O. BOX 3035 University of VictoriaVictoria, B.C. V8W 3P3

VOLUME 67 ISSUE 5

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Hugo Wongedit@martlet.ca

PRODUCTION CO-ORDINATOR William Workmanproco@martlet.ca

BUSINESS MANAGER Alex Coatesbusiness@martlet.ca

VOLUNTEER CO-ORDINATORKlara Woldenga

DISTRIBUTIONJon-Paul Zacharias

COPY EDITORJon-Paul Zacharias

INTERIM EDITORSMichel Ghanem, Senica Maltese

CONTRIBUTORSLeat Ahrony, Michael Carlisle, Rachel Francois, Adam Hayman, Devin Khera, Chorong Kim, Gabe Lunn, Emily McIvor, Cormac O’Brien, Adrian Paradis, Kier Robins, Myles Sauer, Regan Shrumm, Riley van der Linden, Klara Woldenga, Baylee Woodley

COVERWilliam Workman

September 4, 2014 MARTLET • HUMOUR 23