Sentence Level Revisions

Oh, and 2.2 Workshop 1/2

Essay Check

Thesis Organizational Sentence (if you need one) Topic Sentence 1 Topic Sentence 2 Topic Sentence 3 Counterargument

integrated into paragraphs, placed at the end, or placed at the beginning

✔ Thesis

Does the thesis clearly identify the position of the argument?

Is the thesis arguable? Would anyone argue against you?

Is the thesis focused on a narrow topic?

✔ Organizational Sentence/Introduction

A statement telling the reader what major points you are going to cover

Do your topic sentences CLEARLY relate to your organizational statement and/or the thesis? Are they built off of it?

Do you set a clear structure for your paper? Do you set a clear scope (focus) for your paper? Do you follow the order of the topics you set up?

✔ Topic Sentences 1-3

Each topic is a mini thesis Each paragraph is a mini essay

Contains Opening Main idea Support Closing

ASK: does each sentence in the paragraph directly support this topic sentence? The thesis?

Body Sentences…

All of the information in each sentence needs to be relevant

Cut fluff Check that all your sentences answer the

question “so what?”

Body Sentences…

Find your pronouns: “it,” “they, “these,” “them”; can you fill that space with a better word or phrase?

Make stronger sentences by removing “to be” verbs

Still stuck? Try removing as many articles (a, an, the) as possible (and reasonable)

Sentence Level Revision

5 R’s { Restructure sentences or p.graph

Reword concepts Reorder sentences or

comp’s Remove sentences and

fluff Readdress thesis/topic

Try this!

Make sure you have a thesis that is Arguable Strong Clear Focused

Take a paragraph, at least 6-8 sentences, and revise it using 3-5 of the 5 R’s

You have 10-15 minutes

Now Trade!

1. Evaluate their thesis: Is the thesis

arguable? (would anyone disagree or argue against them?)

Is the thesis strong? Is the thesis clear? Is the thesis

focused?

2. Look at their revision compared to their original:

What R’s did they use? Is the revision stronger?

Why? Why not?

Would you change anything?

Give their revision a grade: A: no change required B: some change required C: much change required

5-10 minutes

BA8

Revise a substantial body paragraph from 2.1 (at least 6-8 sentences)

Write a short summary and evaluation of your revisions. Explain the revisions you have made and their impact

on the audience, purpose, and meaning of your draft as a whole.

No length requirement, but make sure you have at least 6-8 sentences to revise

BA8 Deliverables

Statement of thesis Original paragraph Revised paragraph Summary of Revisions

DUE TuesDAY Apr

19TH= Before

Wednesday

Helpful Readings

Chapter 42 in the E-handbook