SAFE VISITATION ACCOUNTING FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN VISITATION PLANNING AND PROVISION Tracee Parker June 2015 ALLIANCE FOR CHILD WELFARE EXCELLENCE The Power of Partnership The Alliance for Child Welfare Excellence is Washingtons first comprehensive statewide training partnership dedicated to developing professional expertise for social workers and enhancing the skills of foster parents and caregivers working with vulnerable children and families. Introductions My background: Advocacy, mediation, supervised visitation, perpetrator treatment, clinical psychology, and research Who are you? Whats your role? One issue that comes to mind when you think about this topic Todays Agenda Introductions Overview of DV & Coercive Control The reality of DV Visitation Spectrum of access, accounting for safety Mitigating the Impact of DV Crafting helpful agreements, referrals Consulting & Problem Solving Theory versus practice Behavioral Definition of DV Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior that at one intimate partner or spouse exerts over another as a means of control and may include physical and sexual violence, coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation, and emotional, sexual or economic abuse. Commonly referred to as Battering, Intimate Partner Violence, Spouse Abuse Conflicting Perspectives Family Violence Perspective (its caused) Mutual, incidental, high conflict Pathological or substance abuse Current Perspective (its a choice) Power and control Ongoing, tactical THESE ARE VERY DIFFERENT LENSES My Biases: Feminist Perspective: DV is grounded in patriarchy, sexism, historical context Battering: Dominance, coercion, partner specific, instills fear, impacts mental health No Gender Symmetry in Battering: Both men and women use violence but intent and impact differ greatly Battering Batterer Behaviors Entitlement I do because I can! Physical, Sexual, Economic, Privilege Psychological Verbal, Humiliation, Crazymaking Use of Allies Kids, Family, Friends Minimize, Deny, Lie Externalize, Blame Battered Woman Syndrome Not applicable to most survivors Cycle of Violence not true for many Coercive Control Withholding of autonomy / liberty Individualized tactics are hard to describe or demonstrate impact Chronic versus acute Socially constructed inability to escape A strategic course of self-interested behavior designed to secure and expand gender-based privilege Stark, 2007 Eight Domains of Control Personal activities / appearance Support / social life / family Household Work / economic / resources Health Intimate relationship Legal Immigration Example Demand = Physical appearance Threat = Infidelity, humiliation, violence Compliance = Maintaining acceptable weight Surveillance = Monitoring food & exercise Enforcement = Comparison Response = Apology or retaliation Remember Social Ecology Context is EVERYTHING! Who / what else is involved? History Resources Cultural constraints Resistance and Compliance BOTH increase as control increases Exploitation of Vulnerabilities Instills FEAR of consequences Not necessarily physical Psychological blackmail Crossing of boundaries Physical Emotional Social Vulnerabilities Exercise How might this be used by someone who wants to control, harm, or undermine you? What are some ways you might try to manage the potential for harm? Its even more complex within family context! Impact of Battering on Survivors Crazymaking Coping Strategies Hypervigilance Counter Intuitive Behaviors Reminder: There are no psychological tests available that can determine if someone is a batterer or a victim! Survivor Behaviors Resistance / Violence Anger / Hostility Exhaustion Silence Surrender Escape Depression Substance Abuse Alignment / Protection Return Child Behaviors Shy, Withdrawn Aggression / Anger ADHD*** Over Achiever Mimicking Battering Regression Delayed Development Alignment Parenting & DV Survivors behavior may seem counter intuitive Staying / Returning Physical discipline Partner abuse is viewed apart from parenting Battering IS A PARENTING CHOICE Inappropriate expectations by batterer of childs developmental stage Post-Separation Battering Lethality Stalking Child Abduction Use of Systems & Services DV Treatment Programs Mental Health Therapists Substance Abuse Counselors Immigration Agencies Victims Advocates Social and Professional Networks CASA, FCS, GALs Child Protective Services Supervised Visitation For Example Tom accidentally shows up for his visit while Joey is visiting with Nancy. Tom brings a Birthday card to the visit for Joey to sign and give to his mother Nancy at their next visit. The front of the card is a photo from the perspective of someone obviously about to go down the steep slope of a roller coaster with a pre-printed greeting inside that says, No telling what surprises youre in for on your birthday! Tom brings a birthday gift for Joey. Its a remote control boat. Joey asks his mother Nancy for the name of the place where she works again. DV is Insidious [in-sid-ee-uh s] 1. a: awaiting a chance to entrap: treacherous b: harmful but enticing: seductive (insidious drugs) 2. a: having a gradual and cumulative effect: subtle (the insidious pressures of modern life) b: of a disease: developing so gradually as to be well established before becoming apparent Merriam-Webster The Continuum of Access Unsupervised Supervised exchanges (friend, family, professional) Monitored visits (friend, family, professional) Supervised visits (friend, family, professional) No access Considerations for Selecting an Option Why might this be preferred? Who will do it and how? Safety planning: Where, when, how exchanges or visits take place Compliance issues Documenting problems Child development Safety planning with kids Supervised Visits Why? Need to remind EVERYBODY of the reason for supervision EQUAL REGARD FOR SAFETY OF ADULT AND CHILD! Who? Friends, family members professionals Collusion is always a possibility! Supervised Visits, (cont) Where? Inside, outside, whos house, center Expectations Behavior guidelines Food, guests, gifts Documentation of problems Scheduling issues Professional Supervisors A important thing to know about professional supervised visitation in Washington State: There is NO: Special licensing requirements No regulation No standards No training requirements No certification No monitoring ANYONE can be a visitation supervisor! Professional Supervisors, (cont) Considerations when using a professional supervisor: Domestic violence versus child welfare Who are they supervising? What do they document and why? What are their security protocols ? Do they force children? Professional Supervisors, (cont) Do they report protection order violations? Do they have DV-specific training? What is the intake process? Do they understand confidentiality? Do they make decisions without consulting the social worker or adult victim? Considerations For All Options DV & Child safety planning is ongoing for all types of access and is ever-changing based on whats happening right now DV could be a factor in ANY case so best to err on the side of safety Parents need support in helping their children in visiting their other parent Crafting Visitation Agreements Whats the relationship status? Dating, cohabitating, married, separated, divorced, length of relationship Confidential location? Who else might be impacted? Kids, extended family, friends, pets Who else is involved? Court, law enforcement, probation, health care providers, employers, school, daycare, etc Considerations for Social Workers Stalking Passing messages, tracking devices Disclosures of confidential information Location, new partners, legal actions Threats / Intimidation Visible and audible barriers, BEWARE of new partners and grandparents! Manipulation Scheduling, staff splitting, indirect threats Preparing Parents Outline and explain expectations, behavioral guidelines, and limitations Explore scheduling options and prepare for problems Ask about concerns regarding visitation Answer questions Ask about Food, Guests, & Gifts!!! Document concerns (yours & theirs) For Visit Supervisors Provide copy of any protective orders Explain primary referral reason and emphasize DV concerns Outline expected safety protocols Outline and explain expectations, behavioral guidelines, and limitations Explore scheduling options and preparing for problems Example Describe what happened in the clip What did the camera see? Its VERY difficult to separate out personal experience and perception from observed behaviors! Remember role of supervisor is to provide safety Documentation What are we asking them to do? Explain and review form and/or expectations regarding documentation Descriptive NOT interpretive Ongoing review and constructive feedback regarding documentation ALWAYS document safety concerns! AND Intervention! What do interventions look like? As non-intrusive as possible Respectful, direct, concise, NO GUILTING Be aware of physical location and stance Impact of intervening Follow up after intervention With parent when calm, child if necessary Debrief is important Document concerning responses Practice What Would You Do? Tom accidentally shows up for his visit while Joey is visiting with Nancy. Tom brings a Birthday card to the visit for Joey to sign and give to Nancy at their next visit. The front of the card is a photo from the perspective of someone obviously about to go down the steep slope of a roller coaster with a pre- printed greeting inside that says, No telling what surprises your in for on your birthday! Tom brings a birthday gift for Joey. Its a remote control boat. Joey asks Nancy for the name of the place where she works again. Working with the Court (Disclaimer: This is my opinion!) The Court is more likely to consider restrictions on parenting if given examples (abduction, sexual assault, stalking, child abuse, manipulation, suicide/homicide threats, substance abuse, etc.) of risks along with a reasonable plan to transition to less restrictive Avoid specific time frames when possible focus on behavior change Our Responses Looking through the lens of coercive control What is the function of the behavior were witnessing? What are the unique vulnerabilities that may be at play? How might we be reinforcing battering? Support Safety First Help non-abusive parent understand how specific behaviors and topics of conversation can compromise their safety Collaborate - Who can help? Know your community resources Provide meaningful referrals Keep learning about domestic violence Consult with DV specialists Lets Try It Out! Overall Goal of Visitation Visit Plan Recommendations Visiting Plan Parents participation How plan will be helpful Sibling visitation plan Childs Input Parent(s) Input Additional Comments Remember Someone elses safety and wellbeing could be at risk Accountability does not have to be punitive, we can be respectful and direct about safety concerns and expectations Acknowledge the challenges of changing core values or belief systems Emphasize efforts to repair harm done by DV Well, Thats Nice But Whats really going on? Questions Thanks for all you do for children and their families! Keep up the good work Tracee Parker