s afe harbor marriages
DESCRIPTION
S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES. WEEK 2 - Safe Harbor. 4 Part Series. WEEK 1 - Seaworthy Relationships WEEK 2 - Safe Harbor WEEK 3 - Harbor Alarms WEEK 4 - Dockworkers. Session Two: Why the Harbor?. F our E lements of Healthy R elationship. Protection (Safe Harbor) Predictability (Base) - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
![Page 1: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
SAFEHARBORMARRIAGES
WEEK 2 - Safe Harbor
![Page 2: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
4 Part Series
WEEK 1 - Seaworthy RelationshipsWEEK 2 - Safe HarborWEEK 3 - Harbor AlarmsWEEK 4 - Dockworkers
![Page 3: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
Session Two: Why the Harbor?
![Page 4: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
Four Elements of Healthy Relationship
1. Protection (Safe Harbor)2. Predictability (Base)3. Proximity (Closeness & Accessibility)4. Panic Button (Alarm System)
![Page 5: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
1: Protection (Safe Harbor)
Against• Silting: • Storms:
Threats from WITHINThreats from WITHOUT
![Page 6: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
1: Protection (Safe Harbor)A. Silting: Threat from within (erosion)
Brisbane Water Channel, Australia
![Page 7: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
Psalm 139:23-24Search me, O God, and know my heart!
and lead me in the way everlasting!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
![Page 8: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
1: Protection (Safe Harbor)B. Storms: Threats from WITHOUT
Hurricane Katrina
![Page 9: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
Hurricane Katrina
![Page 10: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
Hurricane Katrina
Tree roots provide an entry point for rising water, as illustrated in this drawing.
(Illustration by Zina Deretsky/National Science Foundation)
![Page 11: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/11.jpg)
Troughs and Barriers
Levees—CONTROLS that protect the harbor• What gives your life control against floods?
• What preserves the strength of your internal levee?
![Page 12: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
2. Predictability (Secure Base)
Predictability is like a permanent addressSecurity is a function of consistency
“Trust = Truth over time”ANXIETY harms
![Page 13: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/13.jpg)
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
![Page 14: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,for You are WITH me;Your rod and Your staff,they comfort me.
![Page 15: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/15.jpg)
3. Proximity (Closeness & Accessibility)
Proximity is your DOCKa) Closeness: Tether of touch
![Page 16: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/16.jpg)
hug
“His left hand is under my head,and his right hand embraces me!” Song
2:6
![Page 17: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/17.jpg)
3. Proximity (Closeness & Accessibility)
Proximity is your DOCKa) Closeness: Tether of touchb) Accessibility: Tether of time
![Page 18: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/18.jpg)
Converse
![Page 19: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/19.jpg)
![Page 20: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/20.jpg)
James 1:19-20
Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger.
(The Message)
![Page 21: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/21.jpg)
Romans 12:9
“Love without hypocrisy”
![Page 22: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/22.jpg)
4. Panic Button (Alarm System)
4. HEALTHY ALARM System
• Am I SAFE?• Am I HEARD?• Am I UNDERSTOOD?
![Page 23: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/23.jpg)
4. Panic Button (Alarm System)
“Speak the truth in love.” Ephesians 4:15
![Page 24: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/24.jpg)
4. Panic Button (Alarm System)
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
Matt 18:15
![Page 25: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/25.jpg)
Freight for Your Journey• Protection: How do you get your spouse’s
back?• Predictability: What behaviors consistently
build up your spouse?• Proximity: What steps ensure you are
available & interested?• Panic: How are you sharing your alarms?
![Page 26: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/26.jpg)
Quiz: Has Your Friendship Become an Emotional Affair?*
1. Do you confide more to your friend than to your partner about how your day went?
2. Do you discuss negative feelings or intimate details about your marriage with your friend but not with your partner?
3. Are you open with your partner about the extent of your involvement with your friend?
4. Would you feel comfortable if your partner heard your conversation with your friend?
5. Would you feel comfortable if your partner saw a videotape of your meetings?
6. Are you aware of sexual tensions in this friendship? 7. Do you and your friend touch differently when you're
alone than in front of others?8. Are you in love with your friend?
![Page 27: S AFE HARBOR MARRIAGES](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022062501/5681625b550346895dd2ac90/html5/thumbnails/27.jpg)
Scoring Key:You get one point each for yes to questions 1, 2, 6,
7, 8, and one point each for no to 3, 4, 5.If you scored near 0, this is just a friendship.
If you scored 3 or more, you may not be "just friends.“
If you scored 7-8, you are definitely involved in an emotional affair.
*This quiz by Shirley P. Glass was first printed in USA Today (June 20, 1988) in an article by Karen Peterson, "When platonic relationships get too close for comfort," p. 6D.