Revising Rough Drafts

“Writing without revising is the literary equivalent of waltzing cheerily out of the house

in your underwear.”

― Patricia Fuller

Editing v. RevisingYou Should Revise!

Editing is NOT revising• Editing:

• deleting needless words

• correcting spelling or awkward phrasing

• changing, standardizing punctuation

• moving sentences or paragraphs

• adding or improving a transition

Revising is NOT editing• Revision:

• Changing the focus of a whole paragraph

• Reorganizing the structure of your paper

• Refining thesis

• Adding more evidence

The Biggest MistakesAlmost everyone struggled with these concepts.

I would pay attention.

Thesis!!!

Your thesis IS…• The answer to your essential

question

• A statement

• At the very end of your introduction

• What every word in your paper is supporting

• EXTREMELY IMPORTANT

Your thesis is NOT…• A question

• A suggestion

• Found at the beginning of the introduction or in the conclusion

• A sentence that you ignore for the rest of your paper

Example Thesis

Right!• Savannah, Georgia is the

most historically significant town to Georgia.

Wrong!• What makes Savannah,

Georgia important?

• Savannah, Georgia is a town on the coast of Georgia.

• A lot of things happened in Savannah, Georgia.

The Purpose of the Thesis

• Since your thesis is the answer to your essential question, it is the basis for your entire paper.

• This means that every word in your research paper has a purpose: support and prove your thesis.

• YOU NEED TO ASSUME THE READER OF YOUR PAPER IS DUMB.

So, how does this change how I write?

The Impact of the Thesis

On your research…• You only need relevant

information.

• Do not put in research just because your have it.

• Does this explicitly support my thesis?

On your writing…• Every single paragraph must

support your thesis.

• You must tell me how it does.

• Signal phrases:• This is important because…

• This is significant because…

• This proves…

I’m so serious. Tell me how everything supports your thesis.

Assume I can make no inferences myself. Use those

signal phrases.

Impact of Thesis on Body Paragraphs

• You should not write about anything that does not support your thesis (i.e. DO NOT GET OFF TOPIC)

• If my thesis is “Savannah, Georgia is the most historically significant town to Georgia,” then I cannot have a whole paragraph on the life of the founder of Savannah.

• If my thesis is “Taft is the most influential president America has ever had,” I cannot write my paper on Taft’s life growing up.

Example of Impact

Right!• Savannah is historically important

because of its role in the Civil War. During the Civil War, in which the Union and Confederate fought about federal control, Savannah served as an important port for the Confederate. (More Details) This is important because, without the port city of Savannah, the south wouldn’t have been able to get their supplies.

Wrong!• Savannah is historically important

because of its role in the Civil War. The Civil War was war that happened between the north and the south in the united States. The north wanted to end slavery, but the south didn’t. Savannah played a big part in the war.

Should I Change My Thesis?

Is you paper off-topic?

• If you paper is extremely off-topic from your thesis, consider changing your thesis to match what you are actually talking about.

Do you talk about a few things not in your thesis?• If you are mostly on topic,

but stray a little bit, consider tweaking you thesis to include the topic.

• Also, consider cutting out the section that is off-topic.

Organization

• Your thesis affects your organization of your paper.

• Organize your information/research into “chunks/blocks/compartments”• All your information on history should be in one place.

• All you information about growing up should be in one place.

• Do not allow a loose organizational structure.

• If your paper is on a historical event, go in chronological order.

• EVERY PARAGRAPH SHOULD TALK ABOUT THE IMPACT OR LINK TO THESIS.• Do not try to do this in one paragraph.

Example Organization

Right!• I. Intro

• Thesis: Savannah… historically significant.

• II. Formation of the town• This shows that Savannah is

historically significant because…

• III. Historical event• Impact…

Wrong!• I. Intro

• Thesis

• II. Formation of the town

• III. Historical event

• IV. A bit more about the formation of the town

Organization – Topic Sentences

• Topic sentences should be at the very beginning of every paragraph to tell the reader what they are about to read about.

• All the information in the paragraph should be about the topic sentence. • One reason Savannah is the most historically significant town in

Georgia is because it was a port for immigrants entering Georgia. (Evidence & Explanation about Savannah being a port city AND how it affected the city/Georgia). This is significant because Savannah is one of few port cities in Georgia and, without the city, most immigrants wouldn’t have been able to come to Georgia. Without those immigrants, Georgia wouldn’t have the rich cultures that shaped our history.

Introductions

• Your thesis should be the LAST sentence of the introduction.

• Introduction should:• 1. Grab the reader’s attention with a lead/hook

• Do not give your thesis here.

• Do not start with research here.

• 2. Transition to introduce the topic

• 3. Tell me your thesis

Example Introduction

• Imagine a beautiful summer day in the deep South. The breeze is blowing a cool ocean mist, and tourists walk along cobblestone streets admiring the sights. This is the scene on any given day in Savannah, Georgia. A popular tourist destination, Savannah attracts so many visitors because of its beautiful and historical scenery, and rightfully so. Savannah, Georgia is the most historically significant city in Georgia.

Citations

• You need them!!

• Use in-text citations when you are done with a source in that paragraph or you use a direct quote. • Always introduce a quote (i.e. This is shown when he says, “quote.”)

• You do not need to constantly recite the same source in the same paragraph.

• (Author Page #) (Smith 3), (Author No Page #) (Smith), (Article Title) (“Cinderella”)

• See the cheat sheet on my website!

Citation Example

Right!• Savannah is historically important because of its role in the Civil

War. During the Civil War, in which the Union and Confederate fought about federal control, Savannah served as an important port for the Confederate. Insert fact I found on source (Smith 7). Explanation of why it is important. Insert another fact from different source (Rogers). This is important because, without the port city of Savannah, the south wouldn’t have been able to get their supplies.

Citation Example

Right!• Savannah is historically important because of its role in the Civil

War. During the Civil War, in which the Union and Confederate fought about federal control, Savannah served as an important port for the Confederate. Insert fact I found on source. Explanation of why it is important. Insert another fact from same source (Smith 7). This is important because, without the port city of Savannah, the south wouldn’t have been able to get their supplies.

Citation Example

Wrong!• Savannah is historically important because of its role in the Civil

War. During the Civil War, in which the Union and Confederate fought about federal control, Savannah served as an important port for the Confederate. Insert fact I found on source (Smith 7). Explanation of why it is important. Insert another fact from same source (Smith 7). This is important because, without the port city of Savannah, the south wouldn’t have been able to get their supplies.

Citation Example

Wrong!• Savannah is historically important because of its role in the Civil

War. During the Civil War, in which the Union and Confederate fought about federal control, Savannah served as an important port for the Confederate. Insert fact I found on source. Explanation of why it is important. Insert another fact from same source. This is important because, without the port city of Savannah, the south wouldn’t have been able to get their supplies.

Editing Things to Keep in Mind

• Use transitions to move from one point to the next.

• Always indent the start of the paragraph.

• Do not add an additional space between paragraphs.

• If you are discussing past events, you should be writing in past tense.• Possible exception: introduction

• Always proofread for spelling, grammar, and sentence errors.

• Pay attention to the word spell/grammar check.• Not the most reliable, but helpful.

Final Drafts

• Corrected and perfected, should be ready and in class on Thursday, October 2nd. • We will proofread in class this day

and you can correct them.

• Typed

• Double-spaced

• 12 point font

• Times New Roman

• In-text citations

• Works cited page

• Title page (will talk about next week)

• Your best effort.• Nothing less.

I Need More Help

• Email me (although I am out of the country Sunday-Friday).

• The week we return, I will have open tutoring hours every morning from 7:30-8:00. Inform me if you are coming.

• Afternoon hours can be scheduled.