reports l2
TRANSCRIPT
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Lesson 2 Page 1 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
Lesson 2: Introduction to Workplace Reports (2)
Learning Objectives:
Task 1 Revision
Task 1a Headings
In the previous lesson, you have learnt that noun phrases and parallel
structures are usually used to craft headings in a report. Now, skim
Reports A and B on the next two pages and fill in the missing
headings/sub-headings. Then, in Report C, re-write the headings
underlined by giving more information about the content of the section.
Task 1b The purposes of reports
As mentioned in the previous lesson, most reports serve the following purposes:
to inform, to analyse or to persuade. Summarise the purposes of Reports A, B
and C in the table below:
Purpose Report A Report B Report C
To inform
To analyse
To persuade
By the end of this lesson, you should be able to:
recognise the audience and identify the purpose of workplace reports; use a reader-oriented approach in report writing; adopt appropriate style and tone for different kinds of workplace reports; and craft more concise sentences in reports.
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Lesson 2 Page 2 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
(A) FirstQuarterlyReportRetirementVillageConstructionPurposeofreportThis
is
our
first
quarterly
report
on
the
RetirementVillageinEastKowloon.Weare
in the startup phase of our companys
building plans for the retirement village
and surrounding site enhancements. The
plans include (1) constructing the main
building for the retirementvillage,parking
lots,anoutdoorfountainandmaintenance
facilities; and (2) landscaping the
surroundingsiteanddevelopingsignage.
___________________________
Inthisfirstquarter,wehavecompletedthe
following:
ArrangementswithsubcontractorTim Bolton (Project Management) and
Jenny Tam (Finance) held two preliminary
meetingswithourprimary subcontractor,
Kamon Construction Ltd. By 20 February
20, three site visitswere completed and
the construction schedules had been
confirmed.
___________________________
Once site visits were held and work
schedules agreed upon, our Public
Relations Department acquired the
Certificate of Compliance from the Lands
Departmenton28February,20.
ObtainingEPDapprovalThe Environmental ProtectionDepartment
(EPD) approved our construction plans on
15March20.Wearewithintheguidelines
foremissioncontrols,pollution,andhabitat
endangermentconcerns.
___________________________
Theareasetasidefortheoutdoorfountain
had a heavy rock concentration. We
believed this would cause no problem.
Unfortunately, when dredging began, we
hit rock, which had to be removed with
explosives. This rock removal task has
slowed our progress and will affect our
budget.
___________________________
To complete our project, we need to
accomplishthefollowing:
SignageWith new roads being constructed for
entrance and exit, our Transportation
Departmentisworkingonstreetsignageto
helpthepublicnavigateournewroads.
___________________________
Weare
working
with
Smith
Enterprise
to
landscapetheretirementvillage,roadsand
outdoor fountain.OurArchitecturalDesign
Team is selecting and ordering plants, as
wellasdirectingaplantingschedule.
___________________________
The construction of the entire retirement
villageisthelargestremainingtask.
Projectcompletion
Although the project has just begun, we
have completed around 10% of thework.
Weanticipateasuccessfulcompletionwith
only a slight delay of onemonth for the
extraworkontheoutdoorfountain.
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Lesson 2 Page 3 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
(B) Report on new purchases and training for Alpha Pharmaceutical Co., Ltd.
Purpose
The purpose of this report is to study how
the purchase of equipment and training will
best meet Alpha Pharmaceutical
Companys communication needs and
budget. Our analysis is shown below for
the managements consideration.
Existing problems
After observation and interview with staff
regarding our daily operations, which
mostly involve liaising with buyers,
handling customers enquiries and
following-up orders, the following
problems have been identified:
Twelve new employees have been hired
since November, increasing our headcount
to 24. However, only 12 functional laptops
and 5 printers are available now and this
slows down the work procedures of the
company. Moreover, staff training is
inadequate, especially when we have
installed a new software programme for
our inventory management system.
___________________________
The management has agreed in the last
meeting to allocate $80,000 for additional
equipment and training.
Possible solutions
Purchasing new laptops and printers
Twelve additional laptops are needed for
each employee to have an individual laptop
for work and at least 7 more printers haveto be purchased if every two employees
are sharing one printer. The most
affordable laptop and printer on the
market would cost $7,500 and $3,000 per
unit respectively. Thus, the total cost
would be $111,000. Even with discounts,
this exceeds our budget.
______________________________
The total cost for purchasing used
laptops and printers would be around
$72,000, which is about 35% less that
buying brand new equipment. However,
this solution may involve extra costs.
______________________________
The manufacturer can provide training
on the new software. Training during office
hours can be offered Monday through
Friday, starting next month. According to
the trainers, effective training must entail
at least 5 hours of hands-on practice. The
cost for this would be $6,000 for all staff. In
case training outside office hours is
required, a 30% extra charge will incur.
___________________________
To conclude, training is essential and
releasing staff for training during office
hours can save costs. As for equipment
purchase, brand new laptops and printers
would be impossible as it exceeds our
budget. Although buying used equipment
would be cheaper, it will cost us extra time
and maintenance fees.
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Lesson 2 Page 4 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
(C) Online storage service for Exatech
Introduction
Informative heading: ____________
With the increasing number of engineers
and technicians working out of office or out
of town, Exatech would like to explore
means to help them make use of the online
storage services available on the market to
access, edit and store work information on
smartphones or computers. This report will
compare two most popular online storage
services, Briefcase and C-Drive, and make
recommendations on which service will best
meet the needs of Exatech and its
employees.
Methodology
Informative heading: ____________
While Briefcase and C-Drive provide similar
basic functions for data storage, it is crucial
to examine their differences in storage
space and features in order to make the
right choice for the company.
Discussion
Criterion 1Informative heading: ____________
Both services offer a limited free storage
space (2GB to 5GB) and larger storage with
a monthly fee. With Briefcase, its basic plan
provides 50GB of space at nearly $80 a
month; while C-Drive offers unlimited
storage space at around $90 a month. So
C-Drive should be a more ideal choice for
users with greater storage demands.
Criterion 2
Informative heading: ____________
A strong point for Briefcase has to be its
remarkably clean and simple interface. Still,
it allows automatic backups, file sharing and
file versioning which are very easy to
operate. A special feature which most users
will be pleased to have is that it can restore
any file deleted from the account. C-Drive,
in contrast, provides more additional
features, for example music library,
photo/video-editing tool, which may serve
overlapping purposes with other software
already installed on the users device.
However, its interface is rather cumbersome
to use and navigate compared to
Briefcases.
Troubleshooting and technical resources are
available for both services. But when we
compare the two services direct customer
support, Briefcase is responding instantly
through live chat or telephone, but the
response time for C-Drive may span at least
a few days.
Conclusion
On the whole, both online storage services
provide easily accessible cloud storage that
allows employees to view and share filesfrom anywhere, anytime. C-Drive has a
lower unit cost as it provides a package with
unlimited storage space, but Briefcase is
relatively easier to use and better
supported.
Recommendation
As Exatechs staff are constantly handling
large files, for instance, videos and photos
of site inspection, C-Drive should be more
ideal as it has no storage space limit.Demonstration and training, however, will
have to be arranged for staff to help them
get started with C-Drive, and in-house
technical support should be available via
phone or email.
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Lesson 2 Page 5 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
Task 2 Reader-centred approach
Before you start writing, you must ask yourself these questions: Who are your readers?
Why are they reading your report? What do they need/expect from you? These questions
will guide you to choose the right information and use the appropriate language for your
report.
Task 2a Writing for different readers
Work with a partner. Compare the two extracts below. They are taken from two reports
written for different readers. Then complete the audience evaluation form that follows.
Extract 1: A report for manufacturers
InstallingdynamicdemandcontrolsystemsDynamicdemandcontrolsystemscanbe fittedtoelectricalappliancesthatoperateonduty
cycles.Heatingandrefrigerationunitsareexamplesofpowerhungryequipmentthatoperateon
thiscycle.
Dynamicsystemsexploitthefactthatdutycycleappliancesdonotrequirecontinuouspower.
Thepurposeofthesystemsistohelpsmoothpowerdemandforthebenefitofelectricutilities.To
achievethis,theydelaythestartupoftheappliancestheycontrolduringperiodsofpeakdemand.
However,onlyminoradjustmentsaremadetotimingas,generally,theappliancesconcernedcan
onlybeheldonstandby forshortperiodsastheyneedtorunonacontinualbasis.Butthisstill
benefitselectricutilitiesasithelpstoavoidproblematic,momentaryblipsonthedemandcurve.
Dynamic controls work by detecting slight fluctuations in the frequency of themains AC
supply.Althoughthisvariesonlywithinaverynarrowrange,smalldropsdynamiccontrolsystem
cantherefore
hold
the
appliance
on
standby
for
ashort
time
until
mains
frequency
increases
again.
Extract 2: A report for consumers
SavingenergywithdynamicdemandcontrolsystemsHeatersandrefrigeratorsareelectricalapplianceswithhighenergyconsumption,astheyare
operating continuously at high energy level. However, if these appliances are fitted with our
dynamicdemandcontrolsystems,moreenergycanbesavedandtheappliancescanstillfunction
normally.Thisdemandcontrolsystemcanhelpuserssaveenergybyautomaticallydelaying the
startup
time
after
the
appliance
reaches
maximum
power
supply,
and
only
minor
adjustments
are
madetotimingastheapplianceconcernedwillneedtobeturnedbackonandkeeprunning.That
means,itcansaveenergywithoutaffectingtheoperationoftheappliance.
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Lesson 2 Page 6 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
Reader Evaluation Form
Extract 1 2
Type of audience Specialist / Semi-specialist Lay reader (with no/verylittle knowledge about your
field of expertise
Purpose
Criteria
Content
amount of background choice of details
More background forthe electrical
appliances, i.e. theheater/refrigerator
Not too many detailsabout the systems
operation
Language
use of abbreviations/acronyms/ words
formality
a lot of technical terms used
(e.g. refrigeration units, duty
cycle, AC supply);
rather formal (e.g. on a
continual basis instead of
continuously, requireinstead of need)and
impersonal (no use of personal
pronoun)
Specialists (e.g. pharmacists, dispensers) understand the terminology
of their field. Reports written for them can include jargon, acronyms or
abbreviations. They require minimal detail regarding standard
procedures or technical theories. The language used in reports for
specialists may be more formal and complicated as more complex
ideas may be involved.
Lay readers are unfamiliar with your subject matter. Therefore,
you should make your writing simple and easy to comprehend.
Jargon should be avoided and any unfamiliar terms should be
explained if necessary.
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Lesson 2 Page 7 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
Building rapport with your reader
Getting your audience involved in your writing can help persuade them to accept your view
willingly. This requires an appropriate tone for the target audience.
Task 2b Avoiding negatives
Positive words motivate. They are much more appealing to the audience
compared to negative ones. Even when you need to bring up a negative idea,
try using a more neutral tone. Which of the following looks more acceptable
to you? Why?
____ is more acceptable because ___________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________.
Read the extracts below. Underline the negative word(s) and rewrite the sentences with a
more neutral/positive tone.
(1) The delay is our technicians fault. They did not inspect the site thoroughly.
(2) To keep our project on schedule, it is better to inspect the site thoroughly.
Briefcase will be a bad option for two
reasons. (Hint: not + positive
adjective)
Purchasing brand new equipment is
way too expensive. (Hint: focus on
budget)
As online storage service is available
now, the flash drives are useless.
(Hint: focus on replacement)
If only limited storage space is
provided, it will be a disaster for our
staff as they are handling large files all
the time. (Hint: suggest a more
preferable option)
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Lesson 2 Page 8 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
Task 2c Organising the report for your reader
Discuss with your partner. What are the strategies to help your reader navigate your report?
(Hints: How can you make skimming/scanning of your report faster?)
Task 2d Focusing on the reader, not the writer
In general, you should limit your use of first-person pronouns like I, me and my. Yourreader wants to know what is in your report for them, not what you did or thought.
Draw a line and match the pronouns below with the person or group they focus on.
Pronoun Focus
I, me, my the readerwe, us, our the writeryou, your the team/organisation
Read Reports A, B and C again. Which one of them contains more personal pronouns?
What difference does it show compared to the other two reports?
Task 3 Style and tone for workplace reports
Style refers to how the writers use words to achieve a tone indicating their attitude towards
the subject and the audience of the writing.
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Lesson 2 Page 9 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
Formal and informal writing style
There are generally three different writing styles, formal, semi-formaland informal. The
level of formality is determined by your purpose and the expectations of your audience.
The following table shows different levels of formality in relation to purpose and audience.
Formal Purpose: reporting official or legal issues which have great influence
on the organization
Audience: unfamiliar audience, supervisor or top management
Style: Professional, objective, impersonal
Semi-formal Purpose: reporting regular/routine/general workplace issues
Audience: familiar audience, supervisor or other internal units
Style: Friendly and neutral
Informal Purpose: reporting non-official issues
Audience: familiar colleagues
Style: Casual, conversational and personal
Task 3a
The difference in style can be reflected in the v o c a b u l a r y and s e n t e n c e s t r u c t u r e s used.
Study the informal email report (sent to a co-worker) below and Report C on p.4 again. In
pairs, jot down the language features you notice about formal and informal reports in the
table that follows.
From: Amber Ng
To: Ethan Chan
Date: 15 May 20--
Subject: Online storage services
Dear Ethan
You asked me to recommend some data storage devices for you. But Ive got to tell you these
two popular online storage services, Briefcase and C-Drive. Just go and take a look at their
websites. I think you will find that they are easy to use and do not cost you much. The best part
about online storage service is that you dont have to go through the trouble of juggling files on
your PC and your portable drives anymore. Let me know if you need more advice!
Best
Amber
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Lesson 2 Page 10 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
Formal report Informal report
Task 3b
Revise the following extract from the investigation report on an incident at Metro Beauty
using a more formal style.
In the evening of 11 March 2011, at around 7:23pm, someone
reported that the high power sun bed was out of order at
Metro Beauty in Tuen Mun. So what happened next? The
emergency light of the tanning machine kept flashing while
the power was totally cut off, leaving the client inside the
tanning bed for fifteen minutes. The client waited patiently
before the beauty assistant arrived to let her out of the
machine. I think its very lucky that no one got injured in this
incident. Staff from the Head Office got there at the scene at
around 8:30pm and did the investigation on the same date.
use passive voice?
avoid questions
avoid personal,
colloquial expressions
and contractions
In the afternoon of 24 February 2011, at around 12:38pm, _______________________
_____________________________________________ at Metro Beauty in Tuen Mun.
The emergency light of the tanning machine kept flashing while the power was totally cut
off. ______________ _____________________________________________________
switch and stopped the escalator. __________________________________________.
_________________________________________. Staff from the Head Office
________________________at around 8:30pm and ________________________on
the same date.
Workplace reports are mostly semi-formal
to formal. So you should try to avoid
features shown here.
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Lesson 2 Page 11 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
Task 4 Writing concisely
Sentences crowded with unnecessary words are not effective and not reader-friendly.
Concise writing, on the contrary, is what a writer does to make every word count.
Study how the following extract can be written more concisely.
Very often, some expressions can be cut entirely:
as far as I am concerned
for the most part
in fact
in my opinion
last but not least
more or less
Task 4a
Revise the following wordy/empty expressions:Wordy Concise Wordy Concise
final outcome eg outcome at all times eg always
end result at the present time
few/many in number due to the fact that
final completion for the purpose of
plans for the future has the ability to
repeat again in order to
round in shape in spite of the fact that
sum total in the event that
In my view, the fact is that there is only one
thing we can choose and that is to hire staff
to work part time, in the event that cost is
our major concern. (34 words)
1. Cut unnecessary phrases (in myview) or repetitions (only one
thing)
2. Cut wordy expressions (the fact isthat, in the event that)
3. Simplify word groups or combinesentences (only one thing we can
choose, hire staff to work part
time)If cost is our major concern, hiring part time
staff is our only choice. (14 words)
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Lesson 2 Page 12 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
You should choose the simplest and most direct grammatical construction that fits your
meaning. When revising, you may have to alter the structure of your sentence(s) to
achieve conciseness. Study the strategies below:
The subject and the verb should identify the key actor and action of the sentence,
otherwise, the sentence is bound to be wordy.
Wordy: The s i t u a t i o n (subj) that caused the delay in construction w a s (v) the
unexpected rock concentration.
Revised: The u n e x p e c t e d r o c k c o n c en t r a t i o n (subj) c a u s e d (v) the delay in
construction.
Passive voice is usually wordier than active voice, simply because it requires a helping verb
(be) and a prepositional phrase to name the actor (by the).
Passive: An i d e a (subj) w a s p r o p o s e d (v) by the consultant that the project be
delayed until the s i t e (subj) h a s b e e n c l e ar e d (v) by the workers.
Active: The c o n s u l t a n t (subj) p r o p o s e d delaying the project until the w o r k er s
(subj) h a v e c l e a r e d (v) the site.
Passive voice is often used in formal writing for a purpose (e.g. to achieve objectivity,
to describe methodology (when the doer/actor is not important), to highlight the actionstated, etc.)
Task 4b
Revise the following sentences by focusing on the key actor and action:
1. Unlimited data storage space can be provided by C-Drive at the price of $90.
2. The person who reported the loss of company confidential data was our senior engineer.
3. There are more than half of the employees requesting technical support during business
trips.
1) Focusing on the key actor and action of the sentence
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Lesson 2 Page 13 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
The information in two or more sentences can often be combined.
O r i g i n a l : We interviewed all the staff. All of them agreed that the lack of equipmenthas affected their efficiency.
Re v i s e d : All staff interviewed agreed that the lack of equipment has affected their
efficiency. (Using the same subject to form one sentence)
O r i g i n a l : The whole project has been delayed. Even the materials procurement has
been slowed down.
Re v i s e d : The whole project has been delayed, even for materials procurement.
(Sharing the same verb in one sentence)
Task 4cRewrite each set of sentences below into a single concise sentence.
1. Our dispensers complained about their working condition. The reason for their
complaint is that they are usually working long hours, for example 10-hour night
shifts and long shifts with no breaks over the weekend.
2. The Officers from Hospital Authority have inspected the pediatric ward of City Royal
Hospital. Their Chief Executive has also visited the site to see if there is any problem.
3. Twenty employees have signed up for the training. Among them, fourteen would like
to attend the training during office hours.
2) Combining sentences
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Lesson 2 Page 14 of 14LAN4107 E&C: Reports (AS)
Student Package
Languages Discipline, Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education
Task 4d
Read the following conclusion. Rewrite the underlined sentences to make it as concise as
possible using what you have learnt in this lesson.
To conclude, in terms of training, more hours are needed. Releasing staff for training during office
hours can save cost. As for equipment purchase, buying brand new laptops and purchasing printers
would be impossible as our budget would be exceeded. In my opinion, although buying used
equipment would be cheaper in cost, it will cost us extra maintenance fees and time.
USEFUL VOCABULARY
Words/Phrases Meaning
1 blip a minor problem or delay that does not last very long
2 en-hance-ment an improvement to something that makes it more attractive or
valuable
3 mo-men-ta-ry lasting only a very short time
4 ob-jec-tive based only on facts and not influenced by personal feelings or
belief
5 re-store to return (something, esp a work of art or building) to an
original or former condition
6 sign-age signs collectively, esp street signs or signs giving directions
7 span to stretch or extend across, over, or around
8 sub-se-quent occurring after