RelationshipSHandbooK

10 Tips on Relationships

10 Tips on Relationship1) The  purpose  of  life  is  Relationship

a. To  enter  into  Relationship  with  God  the  Father  (John  17:3)b. To  enter  into  relationship  with  others  to  share  how  they  can  have  relationship  with  

God.

2) The  Purpose  of  Relationship  is  to  illustrate  the  Gospela. Marriage  (the  ultimate  relationship)  displays  the  relationship  between  Christ  and  

the  churchb. Husbands  model  sacriHicial  service  and  wives  demonstrate  worshipful  followership

3) The  purpose  of  gender  in  marriage  relationships  is  to  image  Goda. Men  are  God-­‐like  in  their  humble  authority  demonstrated  in  God  the  Fatherb. Women  are  God-­‐like  in  their  wise  submission  demonstrated  in  God  the  Son

4) Our  vertical  relationship  with  God  in  inextricably  linked  to  our  horizontal  relationships  on  earth

a. Our  relationship  with  God  provides  for  and  protects  our  horizontal  relationships  from  ruin,  and  unmet  expectations.    

b. A  giving  relationship  with  others  is  the  effect  of  our  receiving  relationship  with  God.    

5) To  be  human  is  to  be  in  Relationship.a. Relationships  are  by  God’s  design  and  are  pre-­‐fall  (meaning,  not  as  a  result  of  sin)b. Dependence  (not  independence)  and  need  (not  self-­‐sufHiciency)  are  fundamental  to  

humanity’s  makeup.    

6) Everyone  is  in  search  of  the  THE  relationship.a. There  is  only  one  Jesus  Christ  who  can  bear  your  burdens  and  bless  you  with  what  

you  need.b. All  other  relational  substitutes  will  be  used  and  abused  in  the  process

7) Dating  relationships  have  deHinite  ends.a. Dating  without  an  end  goal  of  marriage  is  reckless  and  loveless.    b. The  moment  one  or  both  dating  parties  no  longer  shares  that  end  the  relationship  

should  end.

8) A  working  dating  relationship  does  not  necessarily  preapprove  you  for  marriage.a. Deep  same-­‐sex  relationships  are  the  most  similar  in  nature  to  your  future  marriage  

relationshipb. A  healthy  and  conviction-­‐based  relationship  with  God  is  crucial  for  one’s  readiness  

to  marry.

9) Healthy  relationships  thrive  on  clear,  honest,  and  consistent  communication.a. Honesty  in  feelings,  direction,  and  intentions  inform  both  parties.b. Failure  to  follow  through  in  decisions  can  confuse  and  sow  distrust.    

10)Relationships  exist  to  be  lived  publicly,  not  privately.a. Relationships  that  pull  you  from  others  are  not  healthyb. Relationships  that  no  one  else  knows  about  are  not  healthy.

Relational Onion

Every person’s heart is made up of layers of depth of relationship. Generally, access to levels of intimacy in a person’s life is contigent upon the depth of relationship you share with them. While acqaintenances know a person on a very surface level, friends know that person at a below the surface level. Best friends and family have the privilege of even deeper access into a life. And then there is a core level that is reserved for the one person that he or she is to marry. This is the spot that was made for entry but never created to allow exits.

When a romantic relationship that has breached the core level of one’s heart ends it creates small tears in each level of a person’s life that was accessed. The tears result from breakups between two romantically involved people as they exit one another’s life. Tears are part of life, but tears are also the result from immaturities and foolishly led relationships that start fast and progress quickly into areas of a person’s life unintended or into depths that they were never supposed to enter. Take steps now to ensure that your relationship is moving at an approppriate pace and in safe directions because tears are in proportion with the level of depth of the relationship at the time of breakup You can always speed relationships up, but it is hard to slow them down once they get going. Therefore, one must guard their heart because from it flow the wellsprings of life.

What you should know about Men & Women

Relating• Men relate through shoulder - to - shoulder acitivities. Generally, they prefer to engage through activity or over an activity• Women relate through face - to - face conversations. Generally, they prefer to connect through deep heart to heart conversation.

Communication• Men may like to communicate through non-verbal means that show you how he feels.• Most women would desire clear and conversational dialogue as their preferred communication channels.

Nature• Most men are visual in nature.• Most women are emotional and verbal in nature.

Role• Men lead best as sacrifical servants that act as heads of a relationship.• Women operate best as wise and affirming followers in the context of a relationship.

Insecurities

Tips for Men

Tips for Women