Rebecca KindreichAssociate Director, Counseling Center

Monica LumDirector, First-Year Experience Programs & Initiatives

Ready, Set, GO!

Preparing for your Student’s Emotional Roller Coaster Ride

Hopes and fears regarding your student’s first year of college at

Concordia University Irvine

Hopes and Fears

First 6-8 Weeks Summer camp/easy street (Weeks 1-2) Expectations meet reality (Weeks 3-5) Homesickness/“fit” issues (Weeks 6-8)

Fall Transition

Challenging Moments Common Experiences

Lackluster performance in classroom Roommate issues Time management issues Missed deadlines

Student/Parent Emotions Student: panicked, crying, anxious/nervous Parent: guilt, worry, panic, anxiety

Extremely Challenging Moments

Change/transition can be quite difficult Be alert for significant changes in mood, personality,

behaviors. Intuition/ “gut” check

You know your student best Reach out to appropriate university personnel

Managing Social Demands

ISSUEBecoming Independent:Students are expected to managetheir own affairsStudents have to make their owndecisions and function independently

Developing a Sense of Belonging:Everything is new & differentStudents focus on finding friends and“fitting in”.Feelings of being a “little fish”

HOW TO HELP Encourage students to ask their own questions

and take responsibility for managing their own affairs

Develop a communication plan to share important information with your student

Talk with your student about how to handle illness and other emergencies (insurance, co-pays, etc.)

Encourage your student to be independent, but be willing to reach out for help in an urgent situation

Remind students that friendships take time, energy and effort: be proactive

Listen, support, and encourage your student to set realistic expectations

Recognize how peer support and becoming integrated into campus life is critical to academic success

Managing Social DemandsISSUENegotiating Campus Diversity:Making sense of, and beingexposed to diverse ethnic/culturalbackgrounds, viewpoints, lifestyles,religious beliefs, practices, andvalues

HOW TO HELP• Encourage your student to actively

participate in campus social activities• Share with your student the many

benefits of campus co-curricular and community involvement

• Help your student recognize that frequent trips home can hinder their focus on academics and getting connected to the campus

• Understand that students may not be able to play as active a role with family affairs and events as they may have previously

• Acknowledge how college life allows for the student to explore and find what they want to do, and who they want to be

• Encourage exploration through campus involvement

Managing Finances

ISSUESetting a Budget & Sticking to It:

Having enough money for expenses

Defining needs vs. wants

Credit Cards:Inappropriate or over usage

HOW TO HELPHelp your student in developing a financial plan or a budget• Anticipate everything (tuition,

housing, books, food, toiletries, entertainment, gas, etc.)

• Clearly define what the family is paying for

• Teach the importance of financial responsibility

• Encourage your student to consider work

• Discuss with your student the importance of building credit, as well as the dangers of accumulating debt

• Explain how interest is accrued

Managing FinancesISSUEUnderstanding EducationalFinancing:Nuances of financial aidNegotiating University billing

HOW TO HELP• Review with your student the

financial aid process and how money will be deposited

• Discuss possible requirements for different types of financial aid

• Bills from the University will be sent directly to your student; develop a plan to share information as appropriate

• Research and apply for scholarships that reflect special talents or interests

Managing Academic DemandsISSUEHigher Expectations:Applying critical thinking.Learning takes place outsidethe classroom.Increased volume or work vs.decreased time framesStudent body ranges from 1st

through 4th year in any class.

Change in the Environment:Studying at home vs. thelibrary.Each hour of lecture equals 2 hours of reading/study.Assigned Reading

HOW TO HELP• Help student (and family) to set realistic

academic expectations and adjust if necessary

• Encourage your student to seek out help from academic and campus resources

• Ask your student what they think about what they learned, and not just what they learned.

• Utilize academic services through the Disability & Learning Resource Center.

• Encourage students to use a daily planner .

• Discuss time management skills and share strategies.

Managing Academic DemandsISSUEAnxiety about Choosing a Major:Parental expectationsConflicted feelings of majoring inwhat they like and we are good at,versus what others wantPerceptions of where majors lead.Difficulty and lack of comprehension.

HOW TO HELP• Learn about the major more and the

classes offered in the upper division areas.

• Appreciate that a decision about a major may unfold over time.

• Students’ interpretation of a major vs. family’s.

• Encourage student to seek out professionals in the major.

• Encourage your student to choose a major based on intrinsic interest in subject matter.

• Appreciate that a major and career are only loosely related.

• Understand that a graduate degree can be independent of an undergraduate experience.

Managing Family Relationships

ISSUEChanging Relationships:Relationships with parents andsiblings WILL change

HOW TO HELP• Support change and be willing to

change too• Recognize you may not be greeted

with the same personality each time your student returns home: welcome and embrace your student’s evolving development

• Recognize your student’s evolution into adulthood

Managing Family Relationships

ISSUECommunication:Students are busy and don’talways have time to talk withfamily membersStudents may not express howimportant it is to hear from family

HOW TO HELP• Understand your student may

not always be available when you call

• Be respectful of your student’s schedule

• Think of creative ways to communicate with your student

• Be flexible when your student comes home

• Let your student know if you plan to visit them at school

Campus Resources

Academic Advising949-214-3035 Campus Safety949-214-3005 Career Services949-214-3042 Dean of Student Affairs949-214-3057 Campus Activities 949-214-3061Registrar’s Office949-214-3079

Office of First-Year Experience949-214-3060Wellness Center (Health Center & Counseling Center)949-214-3105 Financial Aid Office949-214-3066 Bursar Office 949-214-3073 Campus Pastor949-214-3111Residential Education & Services949-214-3047

Adapted from the University of California,

Riverside parent orientation presentation