HAPPIER AT HOME HAPPIER AT HOME Reading Group Guide

1. What does the term “home” mean to you? Do you agree with Rubin that it’s one of the most important elements to your happiness? Do you have more than one place that you call “home”?

2. Rubin observes that for most people, “outer order contributes to inner calm,” and many of her resolutions are aimed at clutter-clearing. Are you affected by clutter—or not?

3. Rubin describes her struggle to conquer her fear of driving. Have you faced a similar challenge, when you’ve felt anxious about something that other people seem to take for granted (e.g., speaking in front of a group, flying, riding in a ski-lift)?

4. Rubin writes, “Just because something is fun for someone else doesn’t make it fun for me—and vice versa” and “I can choose what I do, but I can’t choose what I like to do.” Do you agree? Or do you think you can teach yourself to enjoy something that initially you don’t find fun? What do you find fun?

5. Do you have any “shrines” in your home? If you were going to make one, what would you include?

6. Rubin describes the three types of happiness leeches: grouches, jerks, and slackers. Do you have happiness leeches in your life? Have you found ways to insulate yourself from the negative emotions these leeches can spread?

7. If you decided to “suffer for fifteen minutes,” what big task might you tackle?

8. Happier at Home is packed with quotations. Which quotation resonated most with you?

9. Rubin repeatedly emphasizes that she wants to find more happiness in her everyday life, and much of her happiness project is aimed at very small, ordinary aspects of her daily routine. Do you agree or disagree with this “little things” approach?

10. If a new room magically appeared in your house or apartment, how would you use it? Is there a way you could make your current place reflect that use now?

11. Did reading this book make you want to try any resolutions? Which ones?

12. Rubin’s discussion of happiness is rooted in her own experience. She doesn’t address the experience of people in different countries, different eras, or different circumstances. Did you find this approach narrow? Or was it helpful to see the theories of happiness tested against the experience of a particular person?

Discussion Questions

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1. Gretchen argues throughout The Happiness Project that striving to be happy is a worthy, not selfish, goal. Do you agree? Do you think that Gretchen was right, or not, to devote so much time and attention to her own happiness? Do you spend much time thinking about your happiness?

2. The Happiness Project is packed with quotations. Which quotation resonated most with you? Do you have a quotation that has been particularly meaningful in your own life—that you’ve included in your email signa-ture or taped to your desk, for example?

3. One of Gretchen’s resolutions is to “Imitate a spiritual master.” Do you have a spiritual master? Who is it? Gretchen was surprised to realize that St. Therese of Lisieux was her master. Do you know why you identify with your spiritual master?

4. Gretchen observes that “Outer order contributes to inner calm,” and many of her resolutions are aimed at clutter-clearing. Do you agree that clutter affects your happiness?

5. One of Gretchen’s main arguments is that “You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy,” and she spends a lot of time thinking about her happiness. However, many important figures have argued just the opposite; for example, John Stuart Mill wrote, “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.” What do you think? Does striving for happiness make you happier? Or does it make happiness more elusive?

6. Did reading this book make you want to try one of the resolutions? Which one?

7. A criticism of The Happiness Project might be that writing a “year of…” book is gimmicky. Did you like the “experiment for a year” approach, or did it strike you as a cliché? Why do you think so many authors are drawn to this structure?

8. Many memoirs recount the author’s struggle to be happiness in the face of a major challenge like cancer, divorce, an unhappy childhood, massive weight loss, and the like. In the book’s opening, Gretchen admits that she has always been pretty happy. Did you find her reflections on happiness helpful, nevertheless? Or do you think it’s more valuable to read an account by someone facing more difficulties?

9. Gretchen writes, “Everyone’s happiness project will be different.” How would your happiness project be different from Gretchen’s? How might it be the same?

10. What was the one most valuable thing you learned from The Happiness Project about happiness—for yourself?

Reading Group GuideThe Happiness Project Discussion Questions

1. Gretchen Rubin observes that “Everyone’s happiness project will be different.” How do your spiritual beliefs shape your concept of happiness? How would your happiness project reflect those beliefs?

2. Gretchen emphasizes that resolutions seem to work best when they’re concrete and manageable. What concrete, manageable resolutions might you undertake to give spiritual values more emphasis in your ordinary life? For example, you might choose to keep the Sabbath technology-free.

3. Consider the resolution to “Imitate a spiritual master.” Who’s your spiritual master? Why? What are some concrete, simple ways to weave your spiritual master’s teachings into your usual routine?

4. Now choose a spiritual master from outside your own faith. What attracted you to this figure? What does this spiritual master teach you about your own beliefs? Even though Gretchen isn’t Catholic, she realized that St. Therese of Lisieux is her spiritual master.

5. What books have given you the most insight and encouragement in your spiritual development?

6. Gretchen points out that rituals and traditions play an important part in a happy life, and of course, they’re a key element in religious and spiritual practice. Do you agree that they play an important role—or not? How might you give greater prominence to observations of spiritual rituals and traditions in your life?

7. Did reading The Happiness Project make you want to try one of the resolutions? Which one?

8. Where do you feel most spiritually awake? When you’re praying by yourself, singing in choir, walking in nature, meditating in your living room, checking on your sleeping family, developing a deeper understanding through study?

9. Gretchen observed, “When life was taking its ordinary course, it was hard to remember what really mattered.” Do you find that true, for yourself? What resolutions might you adopt to keep “what really matters” in the fore-front of your ordinary life?

10. Gretchen describes her Twelve Personal Commandments. What would your Personal Commandments be?

11. Gratitude, mindfulness, service, obedience, study, enthusiasm, humility, selflessness, faith, and kindness are among the virtues emphasized in spiritual practice. When she was starting her happiness project, Gretchen re-flected, “I think if I felt happier, I’d behave better.” Do you think being happier helps you to be more virtuous? Or is happiness beside the point?

Reading Group GuideThe Happiness Project Discussion Questions

Spiritual Reading Group GuideThe Happiness ProjectDiscussion Questions