Read Around

Preparation for the 10th grade HSPEWriting to Explain

Paper Score1-4

Rationale

1

2

3

4

5

6

DIRECTIONS

• On your own, read each essay and score the essay: 1, 2, 3, or 4 based on the rubrics criteria.

• Include in your scoring, at least 2 descriptors from the rubric, supporting your score.

COLLABORATIVE WORK

• As a group, decide on a consensus score for each essay.

• Record information as to why you came up with that score.

DISCUSSION

Group 1 Group 2 Group 3 Group 4 Group 5 Group 6

Essay 1

Essay 2

Essay 3

Essay 4

Essay 5

Essay 6

ACTUAL RESULTS

ESSAYS RESULTS

Essay 1 3

Essay 2 4

Essay 3 2

Essay 4 2

Essay 5 1

Essay 6 3

What did you learn about Writing to

Explain from the Read Around?

On your sticky note

• Write down two things you realize you need to do to improve your own Writing to Explain

• These will be the basis of your revision

Helpful hint #1:

“I couldn’t figure out what to talk about.”

– Remember, they are not judging your character, just your writing

– If you take your tissue box and Skyrim, they won’t think any less of you

– What matters is that you can explain the item in detail and explain why it is worth saving.

– Remember, you’ll have more time to brainstorm ideas on the real essay

Helpful Hint #2

“Adding fluff to make it longer.”

– I can definitely see the struggle here!– Remember, a four-paragraph essay is adequate,

so long as each of those paragraphs are well-developed

– Here’s what you should do to develop each paragraph:

Paragraph Development:

1. Identify the object (2-3 sentences)—discuss what it looks like, where it can be found in your room, how it smells, feels, tastes, sounds, etc.

2. Explain why it is worth saving (2-4 sentences)—What kind of value does it have? Family heirloom? Is it expensive? Hard to replace? Who gave it to you? Did you buy it with your own money? Is it unique? What does it help you do/make you think of?

3. If you are still running short on ideas, discuss what you might be able to do with it after the fire—sell it for money, look at pictures, make a sad family member laugh, entertain people, etc.

Sample paragraphThe second thing I would save from my burning house would be my pet lizard,

Frank. Frank was given to me on my third birthday by my cousin Zelda. I can still remember how she wrapped a Nike shoe box up in construction paper and cut air holes in the sides so Frank (then unnamed) could breathe. When Zelda placed the box in my hands, I could feel the weight of the box shift and heard clawing inside. Zelda died later that year, and each time I see Frank’s yellow crossed-eyes, it makes me smile, as I think of Zelda. Taking care of Frank for over ten years has taught me responsibility—my mom refuses to feed him or clean his cage—and what it means to be loyal. Frank is the one living being that I can divulge my darkest secrets to, and I know he’ll never tell anyone. Sometimes I think he is speaking back to me when he blinks those eyes or when he claws my shoulder; I can’t imagine not seeing Frank at some point in the day. Our family has a whole series of “Frank jokes”; if no one confesses to eating the last cookie or failing to flush the toilet, Frank is our scapegoat. He is an integral part of the family and would have to be saved in the event of an emergency.

On your sticky note:

• Based on these Helpful Hints, what two things are you going to do to improve your essay?

• You should have four ways to improve total now listed on your sticky note

Now:

• You will have about 30ish minutes to revise your essay. Here are the expectations:– One complete, thought-out, well-developed body

paragraph– A complete introduction and conclusion– You may use the same paper– Staple the new draft (if on new paper) on top of

the old one.